yoursfortoday

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Kinda wanna be kissed kinda wanna be stabbed

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i think rickrolling is the only meme that gets objectively funnier with age. in 2009 you learned to anticipate it but in 2019 it happens just infreqently enough that i fall for it every single time

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i just walked past the apartment beneath mine and through an open window i could hear my downstairs neighbor crying faintly while the song jolene played in the background and im just like… bitch are you okay…?

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That’s some nice calligraphy you got there…

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future spouse: what’s your favorite work of homoerotic literature?

me, thinking about the “living in a log cabin with thor” reddit comment: hmmm….at the risk of limiting the great gatsby to its subtext-

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Dove chocolate and Dove soap are two different companies who havent sued each other because they have different trademarks lol

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i want him deep in my……………………..heart

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as much as i hate tumblrs messaging system

theres a beautiful sort of irony in this

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Mayor Cuts Down Man’s 30-Year-Old Majestic Tree, His Revenge Is Awesome

This is one of the best stories we read in a long time. An arborist AKA a tree caretaker and tree surgeon from Redondo Beach, California had to watch the death of one of his favorite trees, which was ordered by the mayor. Although he lost a great battle, he won the war. Find out how he avenged the death of his 30-year-old pepper tree named Clyde.

His story was recently shared online and has already been shared over 150k times. RIP Clyde.

Credits: GoblinsStoleMyHouse

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genie: you have 3 wishes what’s will be the first

me: i wish for jenna marbles’ dogs to be immortal

genie: that’s a pretty cool wish  you still have 3 that one was on me

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Things to bring back in books:

Chapter titles

Actually having a synopsis on the back instead of reviews no one will read

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‪if you knew me between the years 2012-2016, let me reintroduce myself‬

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is it just me or we all kinda stubid

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veggietales is genuinely so fucking funny and it’s even funnier because as soon as i forget that it’s a christian show a carrot starts reciting a bible verse

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i told a lady i really liked ghosts and she said “are you being serious or are you just saying that in case one is listening”