youryuri-x

[youryuri-x]

₍ᐢ. ̞.ᐢ₎ ʕ•̫͡•ʔ ₍ᐢ._.ᐢ₎ ᐢ..ᐢ

I wanna get pregnant so I can have a lil bit of daddy in me all the time for nine months

ᐢ._.ᐢ

[youryuri-x]

₍ᐢ. ̞.ᐢ₎ ʕ•̫͡•ʔ ₍ᐢ._.ᐢ₎ ᐢ..ᐢ

Today has been up and down

Up and down up and down. It hasn't stopped. Not since morning...all i wanted was for you to have the best birthday.for you to be happy on your birthday. I wished and I manifested. And I'm so so happy to hear have had the the happy birthday you deserve.

Aw you looked so cute today...your birthday sash that was completely adorable on you and odlysuited you really well...i thought you looked so so good in it...every day I look at you.

Hehe you really did look like 'the king of the day' , or whatever it said on that sash...

I take a moment (it many) to take in your beauty. I'm always shocked at how much of an immense amount of beauty you posses...its like every day your beauty gets more and more ethereal...

You always just radiate this aura that attracts me so much...whether it's through your beauty or through anything you do...its just wow.

And today your aura was such a beautiful one. It was almost like you were glowing with the birthday fever of happiness and excitement, and as soon as you were in my presence I felt it too.

Seeing your 15 year old self for the first time was....wow.i

was feeling pretty on edge so when you came over to me as calm and as loving and cuddly as ever it made me so happy. That you stiw had time for me on your special day...it was such a huge comfort for me that you still cared about me even though it was your day...your perfect your perfect your perfect...

I said happy birthday to you and then you said it back hehe. It was rly cute and gave off the kinda clumsy almost shy vibes.... I've never seen that vibe comimg from you before...or maybe it was just me that noticed that.

But yes the highlight of my day personally was that moment.when you came over to me excited and in a lil clumsy shy tizz, and I told you happy birthday and you said it back to me. That was one of the most cute things I've ever seen you do irl...i wanna hear you do it again....

The rest of that lesson, which was English went by.

I got the plesure of being able to look at my birthday boy being happy out of the corner of my eye while trying to write something down about lady macbeth or whatever.but ngl I was definitely more focused on you.

English is that lesson of the day where I can look at your side profile for 50 minutes streight. And I love your side profile just watching you talk to someone or look at the bird or my personal favourite thing to watch is you running your hands through your hair, and from the side I get the best veiw.

I swear most of what I do in English is watch you like your something very very interesting on the TV lol.

But your side profile...its like a ethereal painting of an angel...so beautiful...and also kinds hot at the same time...

But yes you are compleatly mesmerising to watch...so interesting...i physically can't take my eyes off you.

I try and look somewhere else but my eyes wonder their gazr to look back at you. And I don't blame them. Your beautiful so beautiful. My eyes just can't miss such beauty.theh are drawn to your beauty like a moth to a flame...

Sorry if I sound creepy...i probably am..its just that my eyes can't stop looking at you...

You make English lessons such a treat to my eyes..and to my imagination. My current favourite fantasy is of me biting your neck like some sort of vampire lol >~<

I can't help thinking it. Ik it probably sounds weird but your neck just seems to be calling me to take a lil bite.... (sorry im weird asf)

But then the bell rang desrupting my vampire ass fantasies and snapping me back into the real world where I needed to get to physics, and biting your neck unfortunately wasn't my main concern...

Pysics...

I got to the class sat down and..wellt thought about you ngl. Just in a general way. Panicked that everyone else had got you better stuff for your birthday, and that I haddnt done enough, since I was the one with the honour of being your girlfriend.

And I mean your basically a god so it's a pretty big honor...

I between these thoughts I was doing the actual work that needed doing, and turning round to cheak the clock despite having a watch on.

Anything to see a glimpse of you, the light of my life in a dull 50 minute gray morbidity that is also known as Pysics.

The main event in physics was when you walked to the front of the class, allowing my eyes to take in your whole immage. I basically held by breath and just focused on you till I started subconsciously fiddling with my stapler again and gazing at you, basically drooling under my mask and then...

I stapled my mf finger. Your mf beautiful self made me staple my finger. It diddnt really hurt, until it started pissing out blood. I put a plaster on it and it was fine, but it shows how much of a klutz I am, and also how much of a sucker for you I also am...

Then it was breaktime. I gave you your present, and told you not to open it in front of me. Ngl it was a selfish asf thing to say...i was really self conscious...beacuse I knew everyone had got you great presents, especially after you told me that naci had made such an effort for you...

[Ngl I envy naci. She what I want to look like. Be like. I mean she has my old best friend and knows you I should stop lol. But just if your ever reading this, I've been envious of her ever since I've first saw her. Life isn't fair why can't I look like her?! I swear you'd be with her if I wasn't there...shes just wow. I wanna me her yknow lol? 🥺😩😩]

But yes I was really self conscious, and feeling in my full on jelous moody people hate mood, especially for the people who you were friends with...

It was probably down to the 3 hours of sleep I'd been getting for the last week each night, and the fact I'd been on the edge. But I feel really bad for saying that... I should have just lrt you open them...

Ngl I wish I'd have been able to see you put on a smile when you opened it. Put on the bracelet I made for you...too late now, but ig this will be a lesson to future me...

I swear allot of the time I use these blogs for getting better. Like being better to you cuz I read through my mistakes and I try to be better. That's why I'm making a note of these things lol.

Then I went with Angel beacuse I knew if I stuck around I could be a harard, being a jelous sleep deprived slightly Yandere aspie girl, I just decided to remove myself, cuz I was feeling like a big angry self concous raincloud and wanted to stay out of your way to give you the best day possible lol.

So then it was biology a lesson of looking at your extreamly attractive back profile....

And half listening to miss heart go on about the heart, ofc. All i knew was my heart circulates my blood around my body for you. Cuz your the one who makes it beat. And you make it beat fast.

I was watching you..ehehe I sound creepy. I pretty much am ngl. Sorry...i don't wanna make you uncomfy but I csnt help it.

I usually see you and fin pissing about during bio, but this time you squeezed his thigh. It made me pretty angry. That you would do this in my full view. It made me god damn angry, ngl. I mf wanted to lean over the best and squeeze your thigh, just so you'd know I'd seen. But ofc I diddnt do that. I'm too introverted. Doesn't stop me from getting angry and kinda hurt about it.

I mean im usually pretty sensitive about stuff like that. When your too close to someone when you know I'm around, watching or could see it. I try and egnore it with you and Sam. I don't like being angry and sensitive, especially not to you.

But sometimes it feels like I need to set some boundaries. Cuz you clearly dont see that there are boundaries of getting a lil too close to someone in the full view of your jelous asf possessive gf!!

Despite her not saying a word about it ever to you, trying to hint it to you, hoping you'd look back on these times and realise how they make me feel you haven't stopped. Ngl it doesn't bother me in the long term at all. I've got used to it. I got used to it with Sam pretty quick. But I always feel a lil uneasy when your too close for comfort or too flirty with someone else where I can see it even if it is just for a joke.

It makes me more uncomfortable becuase then it's like wtf are you like behind my back? If you think it's ok to do that in front of me? Everytime I think about I start crying ngl tears and all. I like to think I'm special to you and get special treatment I have no idea tho.

Your a charming guy with little boundaries. I don't expect much loyalty...i don't need loyalty I just your affection and love . Sorry for mentioning this if you ever see this pls think over what I've said.

That type of stuff really hurts me. When you do it in front of my eyes the thought thya your doing worse behind my back, even if it isn't serious, even if it's just for a joke.

I'm a sensitive little shit in reality, and I actually cried over your Instagram post becuase my insecure selfish ass was getting uncomfortable abt the video of you and naci >~<

Idk it just diddnt sit right with me that you put it on your ig where I could see. Idk if your seeing what I mean. Put yourself in my shoes about it...

But yes sorry.

Bio ended at it was lunch. I tried sitting with the group and it drained me I needed dto be be somewhere else where I could sink into the world of my mind, and the way I do that is through tumblr. Making sense and note of the things in my head.

I sat by jake. We diddnt really talk there was no need neither us us wanted a conversation I just felt comfortable cuz I knew I wasn't comoleatly alone. Jake was there so I spent lunch manifesting you a happy birthday. Obsessing over you and getting jelous. Being pulled into short depressive random states

Thinking about you. Listening to a capella ariana grande until I felt selfish enough to crawl back into people territory, to get some attention. I wasn't quite on jakes level yet I still needed some degree of people. I pushed down all my negative emotions and watched you lie on the grass for a few minutes, before you went, left me and I cried, becuase my self worth had randomly dropped, and I was thinking about the whole thing I explained earlier. I put on a smile and no one noticed. It made me feel numb. But then I saw how much fun you were having and was happy for the rest of the day, had an emotional high during French cuz I knew you were happy and that's all that mattered.

It was end of the day and time to get on the bus. One of the busses had crashed into my grandads car, the embarrasment of the family (according to my mum) and everyone was talking abt it lol.

I talked to a year 9 who knew kally and ened up giving me a hot spot so I could text you. I heard you liked what I'd got you so I ended on a possitive note.

I did two hours studding with my mum and did an orp with you. I was a lil off then tho I'm so sorry. I'm selfish. So selfish. But I gotta tell you how I feel. I can't hold it in anymore. What I've explained here is the only thing I'll shit talk you for

But yes. I' You've had the birthday you deserve. The birthday you really deserve and it makes m e feel so happy that you've got that. You've finally seen how much you matter to people. How many friends you have. How many people like and love you and I'm so glad you've seen that. Seen the amazing person you are x

. Sorry for being a whiny bitch. In a way I almost hope you see this...

But yes for one last time happy birthday my love x

[youryuri-x]

𓍊𓋼𓍊 # . . . 💛🤍🧡 !!

Y-you are my god...you really are... I wanna worship you till I die...

. I really really mf do...idk what I believe in...god,nothing...

All I know is that I believe in you... I belive in you more than anything... The only explanation of how things planed out so perfect is either;

1. You were sent by something holy

2. You are something holy

The more and more time I spend with you the more I think your something holy... Compelatly holy... Ethereal... Idk how anyone could be as perfect....

Tell me how you want me to worship you and ill do it!

[youryuri-x]

There are some people that I want to kill becuase they are close to you.

I hate them. I fuking hate them...maybe I'm jelous for the time you spend with them...maybe I'm jelous that they have the things I don't...

Your my only friend. Only proper friend. The only one who would notice the tears in my eyes as I spoke to them while smiling and crying. The one I have faith in to not leave me. To never ditch me...how can they have you and... Have others?

When I have you I don't need others. That's thing with me. I only one thing.

I used to want friends. People other than you in my life. But then I realised...i was trying for them...using my energy on them...wasting my live on them... Why was I doing that?

I just needed you.

I just you. I'd rather be alone and you be my only company that have to spend time with people who I have to pretend to like...or accept the fact they don't like me as much as I want them to...

It's too much energy to think about people being alone and being alone with you are the only I wanna do. So why waste my energy on unnecessary things?

I've decided not to. The only things I'm focusing on is school, you and myself. It's all I need for survival. Friends have never worked out for me...

It makes me jelous of all the people who have friends and you tho. Normal people people who don't cut themselves off from the world when they get an obsession. People who can feel more than just love for you or an acheing sad emptyness...

But its your birthday wtf an I saying. I'm so happy you've had a great day. I'm mid way though writing a post abt that. But rn right here, I need to vent to you...idk if you'll see this. At this point idrc

Tumblr is still my safe space. My idgaf free zone a place to vent.its even better when it feels like I'm doing it to you. I not unpriverting my old posts...im deleting them all...ill rewrite them tho...but a fresh start for a new me...

A new me who is just for you...

[youryuri-x]

To my Lil Teddy Bear,

Happy birthday. Wow...i can't belive how fast you are growing up baby... 15 allready?! Your such a big boy now...mummys so proud.

Happy birthday baba x

Have a great day today. Muma loves you so much x.

Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of love from

Mummy. . . 💛🤍🧡 !!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ILY x

[youryuri-x]

To daddy,

Happy biwthday! You are the best daddy in the worwld and I hope you have the bestest biwthday...

Daddy are my favorite person ever. I love you more than I love anyone else. Your my dada... And I wuv you so much I rweally want your day to be pwewfect becuase that's what the bestest daddy like you deserves.

I wanna cuddle you and kiss you lots. Not just today dada, everyday. I wuv you so much and I want you to fweel that love! I rweally rweally wuv you...

You awe the bestest fing in my whole life and I just wanna wish you a big happy biwfday!

I wuvvvvv you daddy!.

Im aw yours...

[youryuri-x]

。　♡ 。　　♡。　　♡ ♡。　＼　　｜　　／。　♡ Happy Birthday To Youuuu! ♡。　／　　｜　　＼。　♡ 。　♡。 　　。　　♡。

(≧▽≦)

Happy birthday x. I love you so much...i really do...

And now your 15 ehehe~

Older. A new age OoOoOo. And today well, it the celebration of your birth. The celebration of the birth of the most important person to me...ever....

I'm so glad to have spent the last nine months with you, and be still with you now on your birthday. I want you to have the happiest day ever! You deserve it more than anyone. A perfect birthday for a perfect you.

You are very perfect....

I'm so glad you were born...thank you...for being born...and still being here 15 years later...idk how I'd survive without you....you are the light of my life...my everything....thanks for being born...and thanks for still being here....

I just love you so much. Happy birthday. Ily. Have a great birthday. Uwuwuw I just love you so much.

I want to make every day like your birthday...a celebration of you...i mean an angel like you should get that kind of treatment...your my angel...my happiness...

Seeing you turn 15 makes me wish I'd spent longer with you.had more time with you..but its also a reminder that there will be many more September 22s to celebrate you...and many more years to come that I will be able to know you for...

I feel like all the time I spent not knowing you was a complete waste.

You are my everything. My bf.my best friend.my daddy.my little teddy bear.my soulmate.

My future

I wish this day was longer...i need more time to be able to celebrate your birth...eheehe maybe ill just buy you gifts and give you cards randomly throughout the year...to make up for my cards and presents not being the best this year...

But yez happy birthday. Thank you for being born. Thank your for still being alive. Both of them things mean the world to me so today is a very special day for me....

But I mean ou make every one of my days perfect...so I wanna try and make your day perfect...im sorry I diddnt get you much, a present and a crappy card and a friendship bracelet... I wanted to get you so much more...i will get you so much more...

Ngl originally I had this notebook full of compliments for you but I lost it...

That's why I decided to set up this tumblr dedicated to you, even if your not gonna look at it...

I know it doesn't seem nearly as thoughtful as a handwritten book, but I just wanted to have a special place that I could dedicate to you. Every thought and feeling I have about you. To copy up ever little scribble or note down on a peice of paper. Somewhere to call you beautiful. To tell you how perfect you are.to motivate myself to be better for you.to record all the times we have had together so none of them are ever forgotten...

I have decided to give you this on your birthday, becuase your birthday is a celebration of you...and so is this tumblr...

But anyways lots of love from me x

[youryuri-x]

>~< i just told you how to get to my vewy private blog aish... don't judge me...

this is my ultimate safe space to talk about you...ngl It feels safer than on paper...imma copy my other diary type thing onto here. I want all my thoughts about you in one place...

₍ᐢ. ̞.ᐢ₎ ʕ•̫͡•ʔ ₍ᐢ._.ᐢ₎ ᐢ..ᐢ

[youryuri-x]

໒꒱ ⊹ ⋆ﾟ꒰ఎ now your ill aish...im feeling in a mummy mood.i just wanna cuddle you and make sure you rest so your all better for your birthday tommorow...

I don't like seeing my baby ill at all.i care about him way too much...all i wanna do today is make sure your better...and warm and happy...imma try and make that happen today.even if I only cuddle you a bit. Even if I don't get to mummy you...my goal today is just to make you warm and happy and a lil less ill...

[youryuri-x]

૮₍ ˃̵ࡇ˂̵ ₎ა

you are ill today...your too perfect to be ill... Ffs how could the universe be so cruel?!

making you, who is basically an an angel ill with a mf horrible cold?

I'm pretty angry now...i wanna make you feel better...wrap my arms around you...keep you warm...make you happy.

Mm...

[youryuri-x]

I rant allot. Usually about bullshit. But here I can rant about you.

And you are amazing. beautiful . mesmerising...

It's driving me mad that I can't express my feelings about you...

They don't fit on paper.

I can't directly tell you...maybe I just need to write them down on tumblr to say how I feel-

Idk. Imma give you the link to this, which is probably gonna serve as a diary type thing idk if you'll look at it often. Read every little thing I write about you. I hope you don't... Some things Imma put are pretty privet...just for me to know!

But then again you are my soulmate...you deserve to know I'm thinking about you

And what I think of you.

Idk why I'm posting so much. Maybe I'll get into the habit of posting more. Even writing some thing down about you makes me feel better...better that I'm able to share my passion...

I was gonna give you a notebook full of compliments and stuff but I lost it first time around. Second time I had days to write it. But this was there is no pressure on deadlines. I can give you what I wrote. And keep writing on here. How much I love you. When I'm thinking bout you and what I'm thinking about. Just me randomly reflecting on the day we've had together. Telling you how much I love you. Or even writing down the things that I want to let you know about but I'm too scared....

Idk if you'll read this. Idk if you'll like the idea. But ik you like compliments. And me putting you up on a pedistal. And I'm sure you'll find both of them things in these posts...

I say I'm going to sleep but maybe not.

Idk...

[youryuri-x]

I'm sitting on the floor. My phone needs charge. I probably do too... But my mind it still on...thinking about you as usual...

The thought at the moment is about today...how In biology I was just staring at your back profile...fuk it's so sexy wtf... I-idk I stare at it through the whole lesson...

Seriously you have no idea how hot you are.

Especially from the back...i can't stop thinking abt it hehe~

Also I kinda wanna call you sometime. Like before you go to sleep hm...it would be so so good to hear your voice...j-judt so perfect...mmh I'd have to turn my headphones up full on that call...if I go deaf I want it to be becuase of your voice...

Lol tho even writing this down makes me realise I think of you too much. But I can't think of anything better to think about.

You make me so happy...

Thank youuuu

I think Imma try to sleep. I wanna describe how sexy your back profile is to you, but my mind is shattered. I hope I sleep...

But I mean I'd rather be up daydreaming abt you so idk what I'm complaining abt...

[youryuri-x]

I love you...i really love you ehehe~I... I think im obsessed with you. Like really obsessed. With every other obsession I had it was more normal...

But with you...

Aish... I don't even know how to explain it. I think about you 24/7... Litterly...i need a space to write these feelings down and, idk if I'll ever be able to share them with you....

So I just decided to make this tumblr page a collection of all the things I've ever wrote down in my notebooks about you...

Every picture I've ever drawn of you...all the thoughts I think of you...

The things I want to say that come to me when I'm alone, sitting in the dark and forget to say when I really need to say them....

I don't think this page is a gift....i wanted to write a notebook full of compliments for you but I lost it.

But aish. This is just a venting place for me. A place for me to vent about you...all my thoughts and feelings....

Idk what to say ahhhh

>~<

Will you ever read this? Hm... Maybe....

Idk...if you do read this tho I hope you don't find it too self centred of me to write this... Or find anything I say too weird and scary...

B-but ngl sometimes I do feel like a Yandere hehe.

But that's it for this entry.

I'm shattered. Maybe I'll write more. Maybe not... Idk...

Maybe my phone will die or I'll sleep...

OR maybe ill think about you till 3 am like usual. Be too tired to function in school...ill probably end up doing that...but your worth it... So worth it...