yriexaa

[yriexaa]

im so happy. i fucking hate the both of them. 😁

[yriexaa]

try & tell me this isn’t tamino!rafayel buying you fresh flowers after you moved to verona together

[yriexaa]

ughhh i hate ovulation week 😞 why do i have to be a minor and single and horny??? i cant even jerk off properly.... the only good thing about ovulation is that i look hot as fuck.

[yriexaa]

i really wanna get fucked.. probably by rafayel. i want him to tie my wrists and ankles to the bed, my legs and arms spread apart. i want him to pretend like he's performing an exorcism on me. i want him to be like "i heard sum demons are up your coochie" or smt like that.. and I'd be like "No father, (father as in a priest.. not dad. that's weird af.) youre mistaken i- I'm not.." then he shuts me up by inserting a finger inside me... then he'll claim to exorcise the spirit by fingerfucking me and literally abusing the shit out of my pussy

[yriexaa]

im gonna fucking kill myself if i grow up ugly.

[yriexaa]

I want deanna so bad. That's all. I wish in another life we could be married lesbians with 5 cats and a beautiful daughter.

[yriexaa]

my blog looks like a damn mess, f you paolo for not letting me finish my blog aesthetic!!!

[yriexaa]

I'd love someone to talk to me the way this song is sung. I'd kill for someone to talk about me like how the lyrics are written.

[yriexaa]

I was never meant to be filled with so much rage. I was born to be delicate, like a teacup. I do not wish for ruthless words to come out of my mouth like a barbarian. I was supposed to bring warmth to people. Why am I overfilling with rage? All I wish to be is to be myself without hurting people around me. Why must I be brought up like this? it's a pain. I don't want to be mean. I never intended to be such an angry woman.

[yriexaa]

i take this back, i feel like a total loser right now what the fuck

I honestly don't have anything to blog about this week. All I did was talk to some AI and read smuts like a horny teenager. But I don't feel sad or lonely at all, because I know that this situation is temporary^^ All I wish for is that hopefully, a time will come when I don't hate my mother anymore. I wish for my anger to subside and be able to live and love like how other people do it.

[yriexaa]

I hope my future husband lets me tie him up :/

[yriexaa]

I honestly don't have anything to blog about this week. All I did was talk to some AI and read smuts like a horny teenager. But I don't feel sad or lonely at all, because I know that this situation is temporary^^ All I wish for is that hopefully, a time will come when I don't hate my mother anymore. I wish for my anger to subside and be able to live and love like how other people do it.

[yriexaa]

After years of keeping the stored love I had inside of me, I foolishly poured it all out on a man. I gave him every last drop, leaving my heart empty. I thought, if I gave him everything I had, I'd get it in return. So, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I closed my eyes, believing in blind faith. And eventually, I ran out of love to give. Still, I didn't get half of what I had given him, leaving me mad. I blamed him for the longest time, thinking that he's an evil person who's incapable of love. But I guess we were both wrong. I projected my insecurities on him. I wanted the very love that I had given him, and when he couldn't give it back, I still gave more, thinking that what I did wasn't enough. But all I had to do was stop for a moment, and store some love for myself.

If I had done that sooner, then I wouldn't have experienced that kind of heartbreak. But it's alright. It was another lesson in my life that I had to learn. Now I know better than to give a man three chances, thinking it'll make things better. Now I know that I shouldn't love someone who's clearly incapable of loving me. I should stop being blind to everything, and face my problems head-on.

[yriexaa]

I like the rain. Little debris get into my feet and it makes me uncomfortable, but I still like the rain. I like how the water looks while falling, it's cinematic. I like the muddy scent. I like how the wind is cold—it makes me feel warm inside. I like looking at the ashy sky. I usually get bad migraines when I look up at the sky, so I like the rain. It gives me the chance to admire what's above.

[yriexaa]

PSA 🎀

you have to start living life with a “idgaf” attitude when it comes to other people’s opinions. you cannot wake up everyday with the thought of “what will people think?” .. WHO CARES? what other people think is not important! it’s about what You think, how You feel! people on the internet or in the real world do not pay your bills or do anything for you so why would you let them affect you in any way? live your life bestie, as long as no one’s getting hurt, what other people think holds no weight ♡

[yriexaa]

sigh... rewriting my whole ass diary paragraph because tumblr is an asshole

IHATEYOUTUMBLRIMSOMADRN

OKAY! first of all... sunday. I went out with my friends to hopefully go to church.. but I didn't take a good look on the board where the schedule was on, and we accidentally went on a baptism ceremony 💔 Its okay, though, cause I got to meet levi and eren on boteyju >o<

Next.. monday!! not rlly special... except for the fact that I unblocked that faggot carl and told him the reason I blocked him, and the dickhead didn't even respond!

skipping through tues and wed coz theyre not rlly special lol

Thursday!! I found out that one of my best friends likes me, and I genuinely feel bad. Not because I led them on or did bad stuff to them, but because I'm not really a good person, and I'm not a girl they should be loving. They should love someone who's as pure as them:) Honestly, i feel as if i can't love someone properly, and maybe it's because i have to love myself first, and im trying to work on that:)

Friday >o< nothing rlly specialz... but i stayed up until 1am and i rlly regret it... smh

SATURDAY :3 im finally writing my first (second bc tumblr fucking deleted the first one) diary blog! I hope future me sees this:D hello there!!

UPDATE ON SATURDAY: I WAS ABOUT BLOCK CARL, BUT WHEN I CHECKED HE HAD ALREADY BLOCKED ME!! THAT DAMN FAGGOT!! IM GONNA COME FOR YOU

[yriexaa]

im distraught... i just wrote a big paragraph... and this happened.. :( not cool, tumblr