yuheelh

[yuheelh]

LOVE DOESN’T ( “GROW.” )

lhsejin​:

IT DOESN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO DISCOVER IT, IT DOESN’T FALL LIKE A GENTLE RAIN FROM THE SKY, IT DOESN’T TIPTOE INTO YOUR HEART LIKE A HAPPY LITTLE BUNNY, AND IT DOESN’T HAVE A FUCKING THING TO DO WITH FAMILIARITY. LOVE IS NEITHER PATIENT NOR KIND.                                                                                         THE BROTHERS BISHOP, b. yates                                                                                         @yuheelh

he’s keeping his distance much farther than usual—his eyes struggle to meet hers, his heart grows dangerously slow in her presence. every so often, he allows his hand to brush over her leg, draw invisible swirls atop her thigh before he’s quick to pull back—sudden yet subtle as he clears his throat, averts his attention, and refocuses his eyes on the page in front of him.

it’s grown to be a quite traditional—quite customary—thing, this moment: her and him, leisurely resting in his bedroom after a change out of sunday’s best—PRAISE BE, LORD JESUS CHRIST!—to relax into the afternoon. a lame excuse for spending time together, haphazardly hidden under this guise of studying, where they catch up—laugh, even—with door obviously open; mother peeks in every now and again, bringing offerings of freshly-cut fruits for a break in routine.

sunlight peeks through curtains, and dust dances in the air—clings onto tension that only seems to deepen with every deafening second. sejin can hear everything right now: the tick of his wall clock, the soft hums of her breathing, the scribbling of pen against paper—everything but the sound of his own heart beating.

                                                                                       MAYBE IT’S HATRED. ( MAYBE IT’S                                                                                        GUILT. )

so he clears his throat—hopes sweet words speak louder than distant actions for once—as he suddenly shuts his textbook closed, abnormally snuggling close to tug his girlfriend into an embrace. “i don’t want to study,” he pouts into her sweater, fingers picking at the pilling of the fabric. “i want us to do something together today—anything, literally anything, just not studying… please?”

SOMEWHERE, THERE IS A VERSION OF ME THAT ISN’T NECK- DEEP IN HER INVENTED FILTH.                                          

                         I GUESS BY NOW I THOUGHT I’D BE DONE WITH SHAME, f. choi

                                                                                         \\

the promise ring on her finger is pink and white gold, diamond paved. 52 brilliant-cut diamonds with each and every one still shimmering bright; the same as it had been when sejin first slipped it on her finger five years ago. five years ago, when nam yuhee was still young, still fresh faced and still possessed a girlhood filled with aspirations of a fairytale wedding, fairytale happy ending, fairytale prince charming. when she still wore optimism like second skin, still filled up like a balloon at every minuscule gesture of affection. when the prospect of being loved, being adored, excited her so.

now, five years past, she is—young and aged, fresh and worn, girlhood hung dry—and no longer daydreams of fairytales. of weddings. happy endings. prince charming. now, her meant-to-be, still very much a prince and still very charming, elicits a different kind of vibe. something waning, lukewarm, and uninspired. now, the band around her ringer weighs heavier on her mind. as is her worries, her doubts, her insecurities.

how do you not have them? when the man you’re sworn to marry is always half there. half elsewhere. 

                                                                                      she hasn’t dared to ask where.

instead they stick to the routine, sunday afternoon in his room after church with the door open. a long standing tradition that has yet to be broken. even when its lost all its flavor with the two lovers. this much is evident in the way her pen drags across paper and he fidgets, besides her. but that’s what happens when you’ve done the same thing for so long—you don’t know how to do it any other way—yuhee, especially, who can feel his interest wane in their textbooks, in her, can think of no other way to get out of this predicament.

but, at least for today, sejin has something else in mind. evident in the way she’s pulled close, pen slipping out of her grasp with a quiet gasp, and before she knows it—her boyfriend’s head is nestled snug in the crook of her neck. “nobody ever wants to study,” her eyes roll, dainty hand lifting to card over the locks of his hair idly, unable to deny the tell-tale skip beat in her chest.

                                                                                     it’s that easy. you’re that easy.

“well,”  yuhee starts, racking her brain for limited options. what can they do? in the house of god’s servants, where the walls have ears and eyes. “doesn’t your mother leave for tea with the rest of the aunties from church in a bit?” she leans her weight into him, cheek resting against his shoulder while her eyes rove over to her hand on his arm, 52 brilliant-cut diamonds glinting in the light—and she snaps her jaws tight around the faint flutter of guilt in her chest. “we could sneak out for a bite or something when she leaves?”

[yuheelh]

hi im yuv and i really started rewatching gossip girl for inspo 18 episodes ago (yeah one whole season i finished A Whole Season) and has done jack shit since 🤡 but i’m HERE....ish....with no pages to show for it but whatever - it’s ok! we move on!! anyway! this is NAM YUHEE, 21, junior @ gosan u and most likely known for being the virgin queen. the devout christian prude who’s always tugging her boyfriend around campus yadadada. i will try my best to provide a very in depth tldr under the cut (esp since i have no pages rn 🤡) but first please smash that like for plots! i also have disc if anyone needs it!!!!

TLDR

caught between new money and old, the nams aren’t exactly known prestige among the rich of gosan as they are known for charitable donations to various charities and functions

their climb towards high society dates back to great granddad nam, who first opened the crafts store with his business partner, growing it into a second location, then eventually a chain all over sk (think korean hobby lobby!)

yuhee, as the youngest in a family of four and therefore the baby, is pretty much spoiled throughout her life (in exchange for absolute obedience) - so to say she’s weak spine’d and unable to survive a day without the comfort of money is 100% accurate

mom and dad are very “nice” people, their public image are kind, charitable, devout people with two perfect little daughters who attend saturday evening and sunday morning mass with them without fail

yuhee herself has spent her entire life keeping up with that image. prim, perfection, not one hair out of place. good grades, lots of extracurriculars, you know the works. from ages 0 to 17~, her life is more about impressing her parents than living it the way she wants to

nowadays, she’s a bit of a party-girl (within reason). the kind of girl to go out and get a little wild saturday night fresh out of mass and still make it to sunday mass next day. trying to hide her “party girl” image behind the church girl buff while also knowing fully well that with every passing day, she cares less and less about whether or not her parents find out (or so she says)

TRIVIA

has been seeing the same guy since she was in middle school (childhood friends turned arranged...marriage type deal??), yuhee’s basically already dubbed him her one and only in her head. pretty much ready to spend the rest of her life with him like mom and dad wants, though, what she’s not sure about is where his head is at (and, if she’s completely honest with herself, she’s restless. too restless)

reputation is everything to her (because it does to her parents, so, naturally), so she’s thus far been very careful with who she’s seen with in public—if only to keep up with the image she’s worked so hard to make for herself

volunteers often, especially during the holidays. it’s imperative she makes herself “known” even at school, so it’s very likely that she’s on some kind of committee/student council. 

plays off that nice girl act, though she’s kind of prudish and judgmental (also has a temper and is extremely vindictive)

has some sort of inferiority complex toward her sister, but let’s not talk about it! 

parties, but never lets it get too far (100% likes to be in control of the situation)

she’s not much of a frugal person, flings money around as she likes, shops a lot (highkey thinks money can solve everything, which cmon, is she really wrong?) - the usual rich girl formula yk

overall — what can i say? she’s nice, but she isn’t. a good daughter, but she isn’t. a good girlfriend, but she isn’t. in general, she’s more so in the middle of finding herself (in life, in how she wants to live it, etc)—and teetering start not caring about who she has to step on to do it.

CONNECTIONS

need... guy she cheated on her bf with... no age req (but if it’s someone close in age/at gosan u with them then it would be kinda *chefs kiss*)

im brain farting so mf hard please give me the college bff!!!!!!!!!!!

BIBLE STUDY CLUB OF FELLOW SUPER RELIGIOUS RICH KIDS WHO ARE ALL LYING ABOUT WHAT THEY REALLY DO ON SAT NIGHT

u made eyes at her boyfriend once and she cut up your valentino 

similarly, her boyfriend made eyes(?) with u once and she dropped your bag in the school fountain

party buddy like she’ll only speak to you at parties when shes drunk but otherwise dont @ her type of buddy

im open to anything Please Help Me