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She makes me mad
Almost like shes glad to make me sad.
We been In pain
Our lives are so plain.
Baby I love you like a dove that soars through the sky
I wanna die with you not lie to you.
Idk what to write anymore. Lol tryna Express my feelings through words. Least no one sees my blog but for me.
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Too my son Declan. One day you will understand this as one day you will have your own woman. Too Avery I say this.....
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Thursday (Final Week)
2 mins till 12. Friday will be upon me. All week I been waiting to take my own life. I Fear I may be able too. Sadness. Maybe one day, I have already killed my self with the choices I made. I shall drink my self to death. When ever my fate comes too me, I’ll look back on this and think I should have did it now. Wasted years are upon me people.
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Was gonna go with Hollywood Undead but Young Sinatra tho
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Wednesday (Final Week)
I’m back again with a short message to my self. Feels nice to type again. Earlier one of my good friends came and picked me up and took me for a ride. We laughed talked about work, family, love. Debating on what song to leave today?.... Can’t wait for Friday.
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Tuesday (Final Week)
Lets see. still feel like shit “check”. Did I have a good day? idk? did i smoke weed today? yes i did. Still wondering how I’m gonna get xannex for Friday. Do I still feel hurt?........ I’m so dumb to think we would be something. Was listening to some old G today. The nostalgia was nice, brought me back to a different time. I haven’t smoked weed in awhile but for some reason I didn’t get high was odd. Heard this joke today made me chuckle, want to fucking hear it? here it goes. So I got called a pussy, didn’t get mad. Told my self hey your probably right I mean “I’ soft, warm and persuasive”. If you laughed I like you. oh well basically 2 more days till the big day, turning 12am soon I waited all day to post.
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Monday (Final Week)
4 more days is the day. I would like to thank no one for this. This is no ones fault but my own. I still don’t know how I’m gonna kill my self. I have only told one person that i would and she didn’t believe me. “moms”. One of my few regrets will be not knowing my kid. I know what your thinking, yes my kids mom is a bitch. If anything she probably tells the other guy that’s his boy. One word to describe my kids mom “Petty” “Awful” “Bitch” wait i said one word my bad. I don’t know if anyone will read this i don’t care if you are reading this by then it will be too late. You know not a lot of people don’t know this, my dad killed him self, apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I don’t think i have nothing more to say right now day is still early.
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If i could go back i would change so many things. but fuck it. “I see you with your other dude he seemed like he was pretty cool”.
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Been awhile T. Last time i was on here I got my heart broken again by the same girl you know as chanel. This time i fell to fast in love. She was my first love. I always thought she would have loved me the same way. I guess not. I was contemplating suicide this time around. Xannex and Vodka with a letter how i felt about my time on earth. Wasn't good could i have made it better? probably not if i lost so much hope.
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