zamiel-schamiel - Tumblr blog

[zamiel-schamiel]

[zamiel-schamiel]

furry piece of shit

Sounds about right.

i made an aesthetic generator now you can discover urself

[zamiel-schamiel]

molly is the champion of purring

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important kitten noises

[zamiel-schamiel]

Alright I just wanna share a little something that happened to me today with ya’ll. As some of you may know, my boyfriend and I are moving in the beginning of February. We actually just signed our lease today, so it was time for me to contact our utilities company as well as our internet company to get them switched over to our new apartment.

Utilities went off without a hitch. So I call my internet company, I don’t wanna be a snitch so let’s just use a made up company name. Like, how about… Verizon? So I call Verizon and let them know that I will be move. I’ve been with them for about three years now, and previously I was on a contract with them, but this past year I have been on a month to month.

So I start speaking with a representative, and he tells me that the speed that my current plan has (75 mbps) is no longer supported by Verizon. They now only have 100 mbps and up. He tells me that I’ll have to upgrade to a different plan and that I’ll have to pay a termination fee to cancel my contract with them.

I’m like um…??? I don’t have a contract with you? I used to have a contract with you, but then I called to renew it and you put me on a month to month. And the guy is like “Well maybe that’s what he told you he did, but he actually put you on a contract”. And I’m like: “But I didn’t sign any contracts, the first contract I did with you guys I signed” and he’s like: “A verbal confirmation over the phone is enough”. And that’s the first point where I’m like, either this guy is new and has no idea what he’s talking about, or something is not right.

So I tell him that I’d be happy to stay on the contract with them. And he says that I can’t, because the place we’re moving only has the 75 mbps and up. And I’m like, “Well how is that my fault? You’re the ones who aren’t supporting my contract anymore. Can’t you just continue my contract and just update the speed?” And he’s trying to tell me that there is no way he can possibly do that. 

And so I ask him for the price breakdown and it’s the monthly price, plus the $90 termination fee, plus a $99 installation fee when the tech comes to set up the router in my apartment. And I’m like “I’m not paying an extra $189 to you guys for essentially the same service because you’re the ones screwing me out of my contract.” And he goes to talk to a supervisor, and they say the same thing. And he talks to another supervisor, and they say they can’t help. So finally I ask to speak to a supervisor.

I explain the whole story to the guy. And he’s like “The system over here won’t let me override this in your contract”. Listen up. Any time a representative that you’re talking to says this to you, ask to speak to someone else. This is complete and utter bullshit. I worked in IT for four years, and let me tell you, if there wasn’t a way to override every single system we used, then we would’ve been in serious shit. Companies will try to tell you that the system won’t let them override what you need done, and the truth is one of two things:

1. The person you’re speaking with doesn’t have the authority to override the system. In other words, they are useless to you. This is not their fault, politely ask them to transfer you to someone who can help.

2. They are deliberately lying to try and ply you for more money. In other words, they are useless to you. This is not their fault, this is what they’re trained to do. Politely ask them to transfer you to someone who can help.

So I was transferred to a different department. And I explained the whole story to yet another representative. And he immediately said: “If you move to a place where the services in your contract don’t exist, then your contract is null and void”. This, my friends, is what I vaguely remembered reading in my original contract with Verizon. So I said: “So you won’t charge me the termination fee?” And he said “Of course not, we’re not allowed to”.

And then he went on to waive half of the installation fee for me for all of my troubles. I was on the phone with this stupid fucking company for an entire hour, but in the end I saved $130. $130! After finally finding the right person to speak to.

TLDR: So please, if someone corporate tells you that their “system” won’t allow them to change your account, don’t take no for an answer. Keep pushing until you get what you need!

[zamiel-schamiel]

[zamiel-schamiel]

So, when my maternal grandmother died, we had to find loving, permanent homes for all five of her cats because otherwise she would have risen from the grave to kill the entire family. We took in Chloe because Chloe was my grandmother’s favorite, and she made my mom promise to look after her. Now my mother treats Chloe like her third child, and the cat is basically plastered to her 24/7 when she isn’t hiding from some imagined enemy like the dustbuster or my dad’s footsteps.

Anyway, we wound up giving the rest of the cats to this couple that runs a joint called Kitty Korner. They try to find loving homes for all the cats they take in, but will care for the unadoptables (read: assholes) for the rest of their lives. That’s great, because one of the cats we gave to these poor women was Tobey. I have no idea why my grandmother ever adopted Tobey. He was a huge schmuck. The most handsome orange tomcat you ever saw, and he loved to crawl in your lap. But if you ever tried to touch him, he would switch immediately into Kill Mode and you could say goodbye to your hand. Needless to say, having him in your lap was awkward. It was like holding a bomb.

Kitty Korner sends us detailed letters every year to give us updates on how Tobey’s doing. Basically, they are status reports on how much of a douche Tobey is and continues to be. These women are saints. I guess they really like cats, because these letters are like a full page of single-spaced text. But more or less, they amount to:

2003: Tobey has a real colorful personality! But, uh, we don’t think he’s suited for adoption yet

2004: Nope, still not suited for adoption

2005: I think this is pretty much a lost cause

2006: WTF

2007: Tobey is trying to kill us and every other cat in the house

2008: Tobey is still trying to kill us and every other cat in the house

2009: Tobey is a vicious dictator and can only find pleasure in the subjugation of other organisms

BUT!!!! The past few years, Tobey has apparently been making steady improvement. And in our most recent letter, we have been informed that he is no longer doing things like venturing upstairs expressly to beat the living shit out of the other cats at Kitty Korner. He will also let you pet him, and when he’s had enough he’ll give a warning nip instead of removing your limb. In fact, Tobey, at a ripe old age of 14, is ready for a new home! With an experienced cat owner, comes the necessary caveat, and like… no kids. At all. Ever. Or other cats, probably. But at least he’s no longer a psychopath.

[zamiel-schamiel]

To burn the Witch is to admit that magic exists.

- Erin Anastasia

[zamiel-schamiel]

[zamiel-schamiel]

The level of shade though 

[zamiel-schamiel]

im trying to be positive in general but man

[zamiel-schamiel]

ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ Don’t ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ Stop ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ Me ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ Now

[zamiel-schamiel]

this book is worth more than a dozen restaurants that grow their own microgreens on the roof

[zamiel-schamiel]

© Zbigniew M. Bielak

[zamiel-schamiel]

hmmm

[zamiel-schamiel]

No vowels, we sigil like chaotes. 

[zamiel-schamiel]

cotton eyed joe gregorian chant nightcore hardcore dubstep remix