zberman

[zberman]

@journalis

[zberman]

@journalis

[zberman]

on a semi hiatus until further notice

[zberman]

on trauma:

1. “and I never knew survival was like that. If you live, you look back and beg for it again, the hazardous bliss before you knew what you would miss.” (ada limón, from “before”)

2. “The consistency of hurt is what makes it so comforting.” (william nu’utupu giles, from “what do you want? it’s not that simple”)

3. “A child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort.” (gillian flynn, from “sharp objects”)

4. “When you’ve had a bad experience, you sometimes feel compelled to recreate it in a way that allows you to control it. It’s like you’re attracted to the very thing that bothered you because you’re not done with it- you need to fix that moment so you can move forward. Oscar Wilde said, ‘a burnt child loves fire.’ For me, that means being able to explore things that have been traumatic or you’re not so sure about. The sources of terror in childhood can become the sources of attraction in adulthood.” (todd hido, from “on landscapes, interiors, and the nude”)

5.

(ingmar bergman)

6. “This body knows fear like a front porch knows welcome—it is always coming home.” (brenna twohy, from “swallowtail”)

7. “I liked Hell. I like to go there alone relieved to lie in the wreckage, ruined, physically undone. The worst had happened. What else could hurt me then? I thought it was the worst, thought nothing worse would come. The nothing did, and no one.” (marie howe, from “magdalene: the addict)

[zberman]

@godskill ⠀said: ⠀“people ⠀ are ⠀ dicks.”

wouldn’t ⠀she ⠀know. ⠀social ⠀isolation ⠀& ⠀constant ⠀ frustration ⠀ felt ⠀ like ⠀ a ⠀ plague. ⠀ whether ⠀ the ⠀ plague ⠀ was ⠀ shadyside ⠀ or ⠀ people, ⠀ they ⠀ hadn’t ⠀ completely ⠀ decided. ⠀ realistically, ⠀ it ⠀ was ⠀ probably ⠀ both.

besides, ⠀ sunnyvalers ⠀ were ⠀ the ⠀ fucking ⠀ worst. ⠀ blaming ⠀ their ⠀ own ⠀ problems ⠀ (petty ⠀ thievery ⠀ this ⠀ time? ⠀ seriously? ⠀ what ⠀ emotional ⠀ loss ⠀ is ⠀ being ⠀ harbored ⠀ by ⠀ ten ⠀ fucking ⠀ dollars?) ⠀ on ⠀ ziggy ⠀ was ⠀ the ⠀ easy ⠀ way ⠀ out ⠀ for ⠀ them ⠀ — ⠀ the ⠀ counselors ⠀ don’t ⠀ do ⠀ shit ⠀ about ⠀ it ⠀ either. ⠀ in ⠀ fact, ⠀ the ⠀ only ⠀ one ⠀ who ⠀ seemed ⠀ to ⠀ genuinely ⠀ care ⠀ was ⠀ cheryl.

“ ⠀ yeah, ⠀ no ⠀ shit. ⠀ ” ⠀ her ⠀ countenance ⠀ conveys ⠀ a ⠀ vague ⠀ annoyance. ⠀ (which, ⠀ they ⠀ realize ⠀ is ⠀ unprecedented. ⠀ someone ⠀ is ⠀ being ⠀ cool ⠀ & ⠀ agreeing ⠀ with ⠀ you. ⠀ don’t ⠀ be ⠀ a ⠀ jerk ⠀ back.) ⠀ “ ⠀ they ⠀ come ⠀ from ⠀ sunnyvale ⠀ … ⠀ i’m ⠀ not ⠀ sure ⠀ i ⠀ would ⠀ expect ⠀ them ⠀ to ⠀ be ⠀ anything ⠀ but ⠀ complete ⠀ assholes. ⠀ ”

[zberman]

sick of people trying 2 rationalize nick and ziggy being together in adult hood.

whether u like to accept it or not, he is the reason her sister is dead. there is no universe where ziggy would overlook that factor.

he lied to her in a moment of vulnerability about wanting to escape his life and his legacy while he was actively doing so. whether it was genuine, i’m not completely sure, but considering his actions afterwards, i’m assuming it’s not!

ziggy deserves ……. better than nick goode???? who is literally making deals with the devil to maintain corrupt power????

[zberman]

Fear Street Part 2: 1978 (2021)

[zberman]

@campnightwings ⠀ said: ⠀ “see, ⠀ this ⠀ is ⠀ why ⠀ people ⠀ think ⠀ you’re ⠀ creepy.”

is ⠀ she ⠀ really ⠀ possessed ⠀ by ⠀ sarah ⠀ fier?

nobody ⠀ with ⠀ common ⠀ sense ⠀ actually ⠀ believes ⠀ she ⠀ is. ⠀ rumors ⠀ spread ⠀ like ⠀ wildfire. ⠀ especially ⠀ ones ⠀ at ⠀ the ⠀ expense ⠀ of ⠀ a ⠀ person ⠀ with ⠀ a ⠀ reputation ⠀ as ⠀ shitty ⠀ as ⠀ ziggy’s ⠀ is.

maybe ⠀ if ⠀ they ⠀ stopped ⠀ attacking, ⠀ (a ⠀ loose ⠀ description ⠀ of ⠀ what ⠀ she ⠀ was ⠀ doing. ⠀ sheila ⠀ & ⠀ her ⠀ stupid ⠀ friends ⠀ always ⠀ deserved ⠀ it) ⠀ the ⠀ rumors ⠀ would ⠀ go ⠀ away. ⠀ besides, ⠀ it ⠀ was ⠀ really ⠀ only ⠀ sunnyvalers ⠀ calling ⠀ her ⠀ a ⠀ witch. ⠀ who ⠀ gave ⠀ a ⠀ shit ⠀ what ⠀ they ⠀ thought?

they ⠀ knew ⠀ they ⠀ were ⠀ going ⠀ to ⠀ have ⠀ to ⠀ deal ⠀ with ⠀ cindy’s ⠀ reaction. ⠀ she ⠀ just ⠀ didn’t ⠀ expect ⠀ it ⠀ to ⠀ be ⠀ such ⠀ bullshit.

“ ⠀ seriously, ⠀ cindy? ⠀ you ⠀ too? ⠀ ” ⠀anger ⠀ is ⠀ the ⠀ only ⠀ discernible ⠀ emotion ⠀ in ⠀ their ⠀ delivery. ⠀ NO ⠀ MATTER ⠀ HOW ⠀ HARD ⠀ YOU ⠀ TRY, ⠀ YOU’LL ⠀ ALWAYS ⠀ BE ⠀ A ⠀ SHADYSIDER. ⠀ (she ⠀ just ⠀ wished ⠀ cindy ⠀ didn’t ⠀ try ⠀ so ⠀ fucking ⠀ hard.) ⠀

[zberman]

even as a child, i don’t think ziggy forgives nick for pretending to believe her in a moment of vulnerability. she tries to justify his actions, knowing he wouldn’t be taken seriously if he were to claim he believed her, but it’s not something she can just brush off.

[zberman]

FEAR STREET 1978 (2021) dir. Leigh Janiak

[zberman]

That was July 19th, 1978. Five thousand, nine hundred and thirty-seven days ago. My sister was dead and so was I.

FEAR STREET PART TWO: 1978 (2021) dir. Leigh Janiak

[zberman]

tag⠀⠀dump⠀⠀.