zebrabaker

[zebrabaker]

You seat a table of three for breakfast and the woman says hmm yes I will have a loaded waffle tower please and you say ma'am that's a children's item and she says so and you say okay fine and the man who brought a whole laptop in says ah, I will have what the lady is having and an orange soda and you say for breakfast and he says of course and then the guy who is clearly a criminal says what kind of bread do you use for your French toast and you say ... White and he says can I sub brioche and you say we don't have brioche and he sighs and says I'll get the rooty tooty... Whatever the cowboy omelette and the other two start razzing him about being a cowboy and when you come to check up on them the woman is playing airplane with the loaded waffle tower trying to get the criminal to eat it and they tip $200 and your watch has been replaced with a better watch

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Trying to sell handmade crafts in this economy is so. Like. Hey guys I know we're all broke as fuck but do you want my silly little things. I'm very good at it. For the time it takes to make them + skill + materials it's gonna be 30$ per silly little thing. But also shipping costs 12$ for reasons outside my control so it's actually 42$ now. Sorry. No I really can't charge less than that. Yeah I know. Ok. Bye

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Btw, that idea that privilege makes you morally evil and suffering makes you morally good is just repackaged versions of the Christian concepts of the evils of luxury and the holiness of martyrdom. Hope this helps!

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The problem with having a child with an attorney that has spoken to the child like an adult since birth is that she's 4 years old and she's negotiating the order in which we're going to complete tasks as a family to best suit her idea of an ideal day.

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Illustration by Sophie Lucido Johnson

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fries. envelopes. ive been awake for 18 hours can i go to bed now.

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my extremely powerful long chip (utahraptor toe claw for reference)

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sure I could become a slut. but you see, I'm scared

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“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

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Ive been seeing a lot of posts about how the "live action" httyd movie is actually really good because it's basically a one-for-one shot of the original minus some key scenes and "who cares if its a cash grab cuz I enjoyed it" and like. Correct me if im wrong but shouldn't we not support blatant cash grab remakes who prey on your feelings of nostalgia and make a lazy attempt to take your money? Didn't we condemn a lot of Disney remakes for being soulless rehashes of the original?

How to train your dragon is a beautiful movie and it deserves better than a pointless remake to take your money. You deserve better. Put yout dollar where your mouth is.

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do you remember those like four months during batman and the outsiders 2019 when cass and duke had a legitimately compelling dynamic and duke would be like "you are not weak for having once been what they made you, you are actually incredibly strong for choosing to be something else" and cass would be like "you are not weak for being frightened in the wake of your terrible injury, you are actually incredibly strong for persisting despite the fear" and they both so deeply admired what the other hated in themself (duke's deep connection with his emotions and awareness of his own mortality vs cass's focused intensity in combat and unwavering obsession with The Cause) and then dc was like "whoaaa i just blacked out for a second that was crazy. anyway now you guys are gonna go be carboard cutouts in the background of joker war for three months"

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...what is the "sex is just rock climbing" category

It was kind of a joke between me and a friend ("you wouldn't judge someone for having gone rock climbing with a bunch of different people") but honestly the more I thought about it the more I bought into it unironically because:

It is a physical activity done with one or more partners

You should only go rock climbing with people you trust to not let you fall

You should not go rock climbing with someone who is drunk or currently incapable of rational decision-making

Some people get super super super into rock climbing and do not shut up about all the places they have climbed and how many are left on their bucket list and these people are usually men between the ages of 20 and 35 and like it's fine dude I'm glad you're happy but I don't know what most of those mountains even are

While many consider it a fun activity, pressuring someone into climbing when they don't want to (or ignoring their feelings and just dangling them off a cliff,) could cause both psychological and physical trauma

There is no moral value to it whatsoever. Who you have gone rock climbing with (or whether you have rock climbed at all) has no bearing on who you are as a person. Imagine telling someone "it's not that heights make you nauseous, it's just that you haven't found the right person to belay you!" or "you need to save your first time rock climbing for someone special." That would be absurd.

For some people it is a deep and moving personal experience.

historically I have not asked myself "will this aggravate my hip flexor injury" before participating when perhaps I should have 😔