zipbae
Self-loathing.
"No matter how tough the meat may be, it's going to be tender if you slice it thin enough"
-Guy Fieri
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hey guys im making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap wake me up in 5 minutes so i can flip them over
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HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS IN 3 EASY STEPS
STEP 1: purposefully bump into girl(make sure you are typing into your calculator while doing this)
STEP 2: say “im sorry. i didnt see you, i was taking inventory of all my lizards”
STEP 3: make sure she sees the number 42069666 on the screen
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Why Infant Babies Are Total Nerds
they have never played ANY sports at all
if you tried to explain the rules of football to them they wouldn’t understand
they don’t even lift
they can’t name even 1 sports team or athlete
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