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It's literally like all my life I've been praised for doing certain things right (being well-behaved and doing well academically) but those skills are barely transferable to real life. The fact that I have decent time management skills and a good work ethic are just about it. Social skills and an interest in variety of things are what would actually make a difference for me and I don't have it
#It really is like over a period of less than a year I went from being considered widely successful at what's expected of me#to (in my eyes) heading for failure long term
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Wowzie there's something very wrong with me. I accomplished none of the goals I had for this year and I also haven't done anything else remarkable. I don't even have an excuse nothing bad happened to me. And I haven't even read much. And I don't even want to. And none of the things I watched are going on the list of media that makes me insane long-term. I am literally just existing
#Oh wow. It's actually insane how bad I am doing in life and for no reason at all#There's no excuse. None whatsoever I just don't give a fuck about most things and am not competent to do the rest
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I will simply never ever have a crush on someone that doesn't like me back again even if that means not liking anyone ever again #growth
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pretend i never said any of that stupid or annoying stuff
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Daredevil: Born Again Heaven's Half Hour | 1.01
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Foggy Nelson is haunting the narrative like a dead wife in an indie film
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My neuroses... My stupid neuroses
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It's actually so fucked up that years of having no (close) friends or just feeling like an outsider in general will have you fucking up the good things when you actually do get them
#Like damn my inherent feeling of not belonging stops me from interacting with my friends much because I assume#They probably don't want me to talk to them in the first place/it's not my place to reply in the groupchat#Which like. I knowww it seems I don't gaf or am ignoring them which I knowww is unlikely to end well for me but I can't stop#What kind of an asshole gets all anxious about his friends talking in the groupchat and then leaves them all on seen.#When it's actually important stuff in their life...#Like for once in my life I am not treated as an outsider by the group but I CHOOSE to act like one. Jesus Christ
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im sending you telepathic messages btw are you not getting them are you ignoring me hello pick up
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need to watch something life changing soon to give life some meaning again
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to scroll by your side is such a heavenly way to die
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