zodiacincorrectquotes-blog

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#21

Cancer: “I wish that you’d just admit when you’ve made a mistake!”

Virgo: (stirring his tea determinedly) “I prefer it with salt.”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#21

Libra: “So, we’re on to plan B now?”

Saggitarius: “Well, technically, it’s plan G at this point.”

Libra: “Oh. How many plans are there?”

Aquarius: “We have the entire alphabet, plus Sh and Ch.”

Virgo: “Cancer dies in plan M.”

Cancer: “I like plan M.”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#20

Policeman: “You are under arrest for attempting to carry 3 people on a single motorbike.”

Saggitarius: “I understand Officer- Wait, did you say three?”

Policeman: “... yes?”

Aquarius: “Oh shit.”

Cancer: “vIRGO FELL OFF-“

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#19

Taurus: *parks car*

Aries: “I want one.”

Pisces: “Taurus or the car?”

Aries: “Yes.”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#18

Capricorn: *sitting outside the principles office* “What you here for?”

Libra: “Oh, I just wanted to know if it's ok if I miss my classes tomorrow to run sound and light for a presentation in the auditorium tomorrow. What are you in for?”

Capricorn: “I punched a kid.”

Libra: “We lead very different lives.”

Capricorn: “Yep.”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#17

Scorpio: “Is masterbating while smoking weed called masterblazing?”

Gemini: “No it’s called weedwacking.”

Taurus: “It’s called highjacking.”

Libra: “It’s called disappointing your mother.”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#16

Virgo: “Leo really hates us.”

Cancer: “Yeah. Maybe she’s homophobic.”

Virgo: “But we’re not gay.”

Cancer: “We’re not?”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#15

Aquarius: *knocks*

Saggitarius: “dONT COME IN HERE!”

Aquarius: “Wha- why?”

Saggitarius: “Because... cANCER’S NAKED!”

Cancer: *whispering* “What?!”

Saggitarius: *whispering* “Well I can’t say that I’m naked, she’s allowed to see me naked!”

Cancer: *whispering* “Why does anyone have to be naked?!”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#14

Cancer: *drunk on the karaoke at the Christmas party, singing to Virgo* “Laaaaast Christtttmassss, I gave you mah heaaaarrrt, but the vry next daaaayyy, you said that was gaaayyy~”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#13

Scorpio: “You have friends, and I envy that.”

Cancer: “You’re welcome to share them!”

Scorpio: *glances over to saggitarius, aquarius, capricorn and virgo* “I don’t want those.”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#12

Cancer: “Synonyms are weird. If you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, it sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you’re likely going to die.”

Capricorn: “My favourite is ‘Butt Dial’ vs ‘Booty Call’.”

Virgo: “It’s called connotation.”

Aquarius: *looking into Saggitarius’s soul* “Another good one is ‘Forgive me father, for I have sinned’ vs ‘Sorry daddy, I’ve been naughty’.”

Saggitarius: *chokes*

Cancer: “And that’s it! Language is cancelled!”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#11

Gemini: “Hey V, wanna hear a joke?”

Virgo: *deep sigh* “Not really.”

Gemini: “Okay, what do you call a deer with no eyes?”

Virgo: Gemini, I’m not in the mood for thi-“

Gemini: “Come onnnn!”

Virgo: “Fine. What do you call it?”

Gemini: “nO IDEAR!”

Cancer: “Hey, can you two keep it down- wait vIRGO DONT BEAT GEM WITH THAT BROOM-!”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#10

Libra: “What do you guys think is ironic about yourselves?”

Saggitarius: “Well, I’m like the nicest rude person that you’ll ever meet.”

Aquarius: “I honestly couldn’t give two shits, yet I care a lot about everything, if you know what I mean.”

Cancer: “I despise people, but I develop crushes easily.”

Virgo: “I hate myself, but I’m absolutely fabulous.”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#9

Scorpio: “I failed my special services application today.”

Taurus: “I’m so sorry! What happened?”

Scorpio: “Well, one of the questions were ‘What steps would you take in the event of a fire’.”

Taurus: “And?”

Scorpio: “Apparently ‘FUCKING LARGE ONES’ isn’t an acceptable answer.”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#8

Capricorn: “Well aren’t you sugar and spice and everything nice.”

Gemini: “Well aren’t you rudeness and sarcasm and- uh...”

Capricorn: “Go on. Find something that makes sense and rhymes with sarcasm, and I’ll rip up the accords right now.”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#7

Cancer: *breathes*

Virgo: “I expect nothing, yet I’m still let down.”

[zodiacincorrectquotes-blog]

#6

*Virgo helping Cancer and Saggitarius revise for maths*

Virgo: *pointing to triangle* “This means it’s 90 degrees.”

Saggitarius: “How can it be 90 degrees? It’s winter.”

Virgo: “No, I-“

Cancer: “Global warming.”

Virgo: “Christ, why do I even.”