zolaandfetus - Tumblr blog

[zolaandfetus]

*holds it together on the streets, has an existential crisis in the sheets*

[zolaandfetus]

My cousin is trying to toilet train her 20 pound cat and she sent me this and I’m crying

[zolaandfetus]

i’m screaming

[zolaandfetus]

[zolaandfetus]

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (S3E1)

“The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby”

[zolaandfetus]

*softly rolls around bed* when will I find something genuinely fulfilling

[zolaandfetus]

What's wrong with grandpa??

he lied in bed for thirty years or whatever the fuck. while his daughter struggled to put food on the table. but then!!!! ohhh then! charlie gets a golden ticket and all the sudden that jackalope is hopping around the shack like he’s fuckin simone biles. i hate him i hate that free loader i hope he busts a hip and falls into the chocolate river

[zolaandfetus]

Lo siento. Lo siento por todo. #Amico

[zolaandfetus]

*resists the urge to ask my friends if they hate me*

[zolaandfetus]

Post: kids born in 2000 are 16 years old now. Let that sink in.

Me: yeah? Thats how time works?

Also me: FuCK? FUCK! fuck fuck FUCK FUCk????

[zolaandfetus]

Who hurt you

My expectations

[zolaandfetus]

[Person: its my little russian lady! please, please get me some beets]

[zolaandfetus]

[zolaandfetus]

one time my sister was working at home depot and got called down to help handle an outrageously angry man returning a lawnmower and it was our dad

[zolaandfetus]

Learning to swim

[zolaandfetus]

[zolaandfetus]

am i going to be sleepy every day for the rest of my life