zombrifics

[zombrifics]

soft comfort

pairings joel miller x sunshine!reader

summary joel never liked his name until he heard it from your lips.

“that’s how i know i’m home—hear you sayin’ my name. say it again tomorrow… and the day after that… every day, baby. for the rest of my life.”

content established relationship, unspecified age gap, fluff, emotional intimacy, soft romance, quiet domestic moments, joel being soft, protective, and tender. slight angst & emotional vulnerability, gentle comfort after emotional weight, themes of healing and safety in love.

masterlist

you say his name different than everyone else. softer. safer.

he never tells you that but every time you say it, he answers like he’s hearing it for the first time.

that night, it’s late when you finally climb into bed.

joel’s already there, one arm behind his head, eyes half-lidded and heavy. the window’s cracked, letting in the hush of wind.

the room is warm. so is he.

you slide beneath the covers, nestle into the space where his body’s already sunk into the mattress. he turns toward you instantly with his one arm wraps around your waist, pulling you in without a word.

your cheek finds his chest. his hand finds the curve of your spine.

neither of you speaks for a while.

“joel?”

your voice is quiet, breath brushing the fabric of his sleep shirt, warm over his heart.

he answers like he always does.

“yeah, baby?”

just hearing that melts something inside you. that little rasp in his voice, that southern drag that softens only for you. it’s not exhaustion. it’s trust. you know how hard that was for him.

you don’t follow it with a question. you just needed to say his name.

you like the way he sounds when he says yours back.

joel shifts a little, burying his face into your hair. “everything alright?”

“mhm,” you murmur. “just… like sayin’ it sometimes.”

that makes him go still for a moment. the kind of still that means his heart’s doing something complicated he doesn’t quite have the words for.

you hear him swallow.

“never liked my name 'til you said it.”

you smile.

“you’re serious?”

“dead serious,” he replies. “always thought it sounded too rough. too… hard.” he exhales through his nose, almost like a laugh.

“but when you say it… it sounds like somethin’ worth answerin’ to.”

the quiet wraps around you like a blanket.

you lift your head slightly, looking at him. he’s watching you with that expression like he’s still not used to being looked at like this. like he doesn’t understand how someone so beautiful like you can look at him that way.

so you say it again, soft and sweet.

“joel.”

his hand tightens on your waist.

you lean in, press a kiss just over his lips. “that name sounds like home to me.”

his chest rises sharply.

and then he whispers your name.

just once. like it’s the first time. like he’s tasting it. like he’s holding onto it.

it sounds different from anyone else saying it. not just because it’s deeper, or raspier, or coated in sleep but because it’s him. because it’s joel. and he says it like it’s sacred. like it belongs to him now, too.

you feel your eyes sting.

joel tucks his chin down to look at you better. “what’s wrong?”

you shake your head. “nothing. i just…”

you pause.

“i like the way you say my name.”

his smile is barely there, but it’s real. he kisses your forehead, lips lingering.

“i only ever wanna say it like this,” he says. “soft. close. where no one else gets to hear it.”

you don’t speak after that.

there’s nothing else to say. you and joel just lay there, breathing in sync, and in the quiet, in the dark, in the space between sleep and dreaming you whisper his name once more.

and joel answers like he’s hearing it for the first time.

“that’s how i know i’m home—hear you sayin’ my name. say it again tomorrow… and the day after that… every day, baby. for the rest of my life.”

[zombrifics]

the hair, the eyes, the scar, the hand, the ring and the cigarette HELP

[zombrifics]

joel miller and our daughter on our wedding day

[zombrifics]

FAT LIPS

JESSE TLOU X READER

Warnings: cursing, hitting, cheating, mentions of sex, domestic violence, mentions of blood, friends to more??

Words: 5k

A/n: Hiiiii guys, I’m sorry for being MIA for a while, I’m finding it hard to sit down and write with everything going in the world. It’s also been busy in my personal life but I have so many ideas I’m working on at once for more Jesse content, I figured I would pump out this short little thing in the meantime! It is not my best work and i apologize for that but there’s more exciting stuff to come! I love you all and stay safe wherever you are 🫶🏼

When you walked into the Tipsy Bison you let the door swing hard against the wall. Luckily the music was loud, and spirits were high, so no one seemed to notice.

You scanned the crowded tables and bar, eyes landing on the familiar faces of your friends.

"There you are, we were wondering if you were ever gonna show up" Ellie teased, pointing her finger at you while holding her glass, as you slid into the booth next to Jesse, who was sitting quietly nursing his beer.

"Here I am" You declared, tucking your hair behind your ear, hoping they wouldn't notice your flushed face. You looked to Jesse's hand wrapped around his glass, "You gonna drink that?"

Instead of speaking, he slid the glass across the tabletop to you. You brought it your mouth and downed it in one big gulp, licking your lips when you were finished.

"Where's Alex?" Dina asks, wearing a confused look at your demeanor, "Still too sick to come?"

"Oh, he's coming all right," You muttered, sitting the glass back down against the wood with a thud.

"What does that mean?"

"It means I just caught him cheating on me" You let out a pitiful laugh trying your best to not cry, fidgeting with your sleeves and pulling them down over your hands.

"What" Dina smacks the table hard in surprise, and you jump, looking to her, "What you mean?"

"I stopped by his place to see if he was feeling up to drinking tonight" You explained, taking a breath before continuing, "And he was there with some red head"

Everyone knew that Alex claimed to be 'sick' for the last couple of days. Hiding out in his house on the edge of town and refusing to let anyone check on him, under the guise of not wanting to pass on his sickness. You obeyed his wishes but after almost a week you became worried. Alex had been your steady boyfriend for nearly two years, and you didn't care if he was contagious, you had to make sure he was okay.

"Who was it?" Ellie's jaw fell open as she pressed her palms to the table. Her and Dina were watching you from across the table with expectant eyes. Jesse had yet to make a sound, watching as you continued.

"She's from the group that rolled in from California the other day"

The three knew the group well. You were all often assigned with patrols and helping people get settled into Jackson. This group was only staying for a couple of weeks before embarking on their journey east. The red headed woman was a couple of years older than you.

"You're sure that he was cheating?" Ellie pressed.

They'd all known Alex as long as you had, growing up in Jackson the group was tight knit and strong. It was hard to believe he would do something like this, even if he was a dickhead the majority of the time.

"Pretty damn sure," You nod once, watching Jesse's fingers tap against the table before looking to your lap, "She was fully bent over the kitchen table, screaming his name—"

"How could he do this to you?" Dina raises her voice smacking at the table again, "I'm going to cut his fuckin' dick off"

You thought the same thing when you came through the back door and his head whipped in your direction, halting his thrusts.

"Dickhead" Ellie sighs, staring off at the bar as she digested the information you'd given.

Alex was the oldest of the group. About five years older than you and Jesse, with Dina and Ellie a couple years behind. The two guys had been close, growing up like brothers, both orphaned and taken in by Jackson long before you came around.

Throughout your teen years you developed a crush on Alex, liking the attention he gave you. It didn't help that he always flirted with you, treating you like a little plaything.

You never understood why Jesse seemed to hate Alex after announcing your relationship while he treated you like nothing had changed.

"Fuck him" Dina shouts, already a few more drinks in and a fierce protecter of her friends. She nudged at Ellie to let her out of the booth, "I'm gonna bring you his dick on a silver platter and-"

"How about you just get me a drink?" You offered a small smile, watching as Ellie took her girlfriends hand, "I could use something to take my mind off all this"

"Tequila shots coming right up" Dina beams at the thought of more drinks, saluting to you before following Ellie to the bar.

With the girls gone you dropped your head against the table, letting out a shaky sigh. You wished you were no bullshit like Ellie or confident with the 'I don't give a fuck' attitude like Dina but you weren't. You were sensitive and emotional, unfortunately wearing your heart on your sleeve.

You felt Jesse's hand on your knee, a comforting touch that helped ground you.

"Did you know?" You asked, voice echoing under the table. The thought popped into your mind as you stormed out of Alex's house. It would explain his distant behavior toward him, maybe he knew but didn't feel it was his place to tell you.

"What?"

You lifted your head, the stray tears falling off your face at the motion. Looking at him now, dark hair tucked behind his ear and brown eyes watching you closely, eyebrows pinched, "Did you know he was cheating on me?"

"Of course not," He immediately shakes his head, turning toward you slightly in the booth with his arm propped against the back of the seat, "Why would you think that?"

You sniffled, rubbing your hand over your red eyes, "You always have this tension with him now so I thought—"

"—You really think I would've kept something like that from you?" His tone was soft, not upset more pained.

"I feel like I don't know anything anymore"

It was true, you felt like a joke. How long had he been doing this to you?

"I would've told you if I knew" He cut you off. His voice unwavering. Solidifying your trust in him. Even as kids Jesse was never able to lie to you.

"Has he always hooked up with girls from the groups passing in and out of Jackson?" You pressed, elbows against the table as you rubbed your temples.

"Yes," His jaw ticked, eyes flicking toward the bar before he continued, "Before you two started seeing each other. It was his thing"

"Not yours?" You laughed, but nothing was funny. You turned in the booth to face him fully, the world outside of the window behind him was dark, small fires scattered to light the street up.

He sighed, "He has always liked no commitment"

You knew that. Jesse had tried to warn you when you told him you were thinking about finally giving in to Alex's advances. You didn't believe him then, too wrapped up in the attention he gave you.

With your back to the rest of the bar it was like the rest of the world shut out. The space between the two of you calm and quiet despite the band playing toward the back of the building.

You had a hard time hiding your emotions around him, especially when his eyes seemed to read right into what you were thinking.

His gaze softened. "Are you okay?"

"Not really" You shake your head, lip quivering. Desperately wanting to let the flood gates open.

"Do you want me to take you home?" He asked, voice gentle as he watched a few more stray tears roll down your face. He was reaching out to swipe them away when you jumped at Dina's voice from behind.

"Alright bitches, it's time to get drunk" She cheered, with Ellie in tow as she carried a platter of small shot glasses and a jar of moonshine.

You gave Jesse a small smile, hurriedly wiping at your wet cheeks before turning back to sit normally.

An hour and too many shots later you were feeling the alcohol settling in. Your nerves had settled enough to find yourself giggling at Dina's exaggerated story. Your cheeks warm, and headache taking a back seat.

At some point you had moved closer to Jesse, feeling his leg brush up against yours under the table. He didn't seem to mind as he swirled the liquid in his glass, adding important details to Dina's story, that'd he'd heard a million times. He'd taken about two shots before switching back to his beer.

"I swear to god I had this infected right in front of me and I never saw—" Dina's story stopped short as her eyes tracked something by the door, "Just the motherfucker I wanted to see"

You turned, seeing Alex looking around the building, the same way you had when you first came in. You spun back around to face your friends, hoping he hadn't seen you, "I don't wanna talk to him"

Dina moved to push Ellie out of the booth, but was stopped with Ellie's a firm hand on her thigh.

"You don't have to talk to him" Jesse assured, watching him walk to the bar and grab a drink.

"He's going to try and sit with us," Ellie leaned over the table slightly so you could hear her over the music, "Do you want just want to leave?"

Maybe it was the alcohol talking but you shook your head. You were not going to run away and let him ruin the time you were having. Fuck Alex.

"Here," Jesse instructed sitting back against the booth to make room between himself and the table, "Swap me"

"What?"

"Swap me places so he can't sit next to you" Jesse explained, nodding at the space like an invitation. The space was small and you were drunk. When you went to move across his lap you nearly fell over, knees hitting hard against the table and hands catching yourself on his thighs momentarily, back pressed against his chest. His hands moved to your waist, firm and strong as he moved you the rest of the way across him and helped you sit back on the booth, now next to the window.

With Jesse now on the outside and Ellie and Dina across the table you felt loved, knowing that your friends cared about you.

"Didn't know we were having a drinking night guys," Alex addressed the whole table with his drink in hand before zeroing in on you, "Hey baby"

You were suddenly nervous, heartbeat picking up, the happy spirits leaving you.

No one at the table responded. You were staring at the table top, reaching for the last shot and throwing it back as the other 3 stared at him.

"Can we talk?" He sighed after a beat, staring as you crossed your arms and leaned your head against the cool surface of the window.

"She doesn't wanna talk to you" Ellie answered for you, shooting daggers at him.

"Y/n," He ignored her, setting his beer on the edge of the table and leaning against it with both hands holding him up, "Y/n, look at me"

You turned away even further, looking out the window and feeling tears stinging your eyes. You blinked them away refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you upset.

"Baby I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't in the right headspace" Alex spoke, surely aware that you had already told the others by their overall demeanor.

"Big emotions for such a little guy," Dina raised her voice, trying to stand from the table again, "You're a real piece of—"

"Enough" Jesse said calmly to Dina, before finally looking up at someone he used to call his friend, "She clearly doesn't wanna talk to you"

"Clearly," Alex mocks, sending daggers at the side of your head before looking to Jesse, "You think you can speak for her all of a sudden?"

Alex was getting upset, you could tell by his voice. Sounding vaguely similar to the nights he drank too much and got too loud with you.

"Why don't you just leave?" Ellie argued, "Give her some space man"

"—Why don't you mind your own fucking business?" He bit back.

"How about you fuck—" Dina tried to stand again.

"My god, fine," You interrupted, smacking a hand on the table and finally looking at him, "What do you wanna talk about?"

"Us."

"Us?" You laughed, feeling your head spin. "Sure let's talk about us"

"Privately" He demanded.

You nodded once as Alex picked up his beer again and took a long sip, eyeing Jesse as he did.

"You sure about this?" Ellie asked, looking to you then to Jesse who was still looking at Alex.

"Might as well get it out of the way, it's fine," You shrugged, nudging Jesse's arm with your own, "Can you let me out?"

He listened, standing up in front of Alex. Jesse was much bigger than him, taller with more muscle.

You stumbled, the drinks fully hitting you as you stood upright. He reached for your hand and you recoiled away from him, "Talking does not require touching"

"Let's step outside" Alex nodded, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

You nodded, taking another glance at your friends before following him.

The air outside of the Tipsy Bison felt cool on your face and you sighed, looking toward the window to see Jesse, Ellie and Dina to your left.

You stopped walking, turning back toward Alex with your arms crossed, "Go ahead and talk"

"Babygirl, I—"

You laughed, "I can't even begin to explain how I am not your babygirl"

"Listen, I'm sorry, okay?"

"Sorry you did it or sorry you got caught" You argued, the drinks causing you to sway slightly in front of him.

"You know I never meant to hurt you. I just–well I don't know what came over me" He was taking steps closer to you, "I know we can fix this"

"This?" You echo, motioning clumsily between the two of you, "There is no fixing this. You fucked another girl"

"Baby don't—"

"How many times?" You pressed, pushing him away when he tried to reach out to you.

"Look I know you're mad at me right now but don't punish us baby"

"Stop calling me that," You were shouting now, pushing at his chest hard to get him away from you, "It's over"

In a quick move he had caught your wrists in a tight grip. You tried to pull back but he used the leverage to bring you closer to him, "You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying"

"Let. Go. Of. Me." You spit through gritted teeth, thrashing to get free.

You heard the door to the Tipsy Bison open, the music becoming clear before the door shut and it was muffled again. You didn't have to look behind you to see who it was.

"Let her go Alex," Jesse's voice echoed in the quiet night air, "Be a man and go home"

"She's drunk," Alex called over your shoulder, "I'm going to take her back to my place so she can sleep it off"

"No you're not" Jesse argued, stepping forward.

"Fuck—Jesse, this has nothing to do with you" Alex shouted, suddenly clenching his hands onto you, the grip becoming tighter the more angry he became, "Why don't you just mind your own damn business"

"You're hurting me" You whined, stumbling as he yanked you toward away from where Jesse was standing.

You could see Jesse now, as he moved in a flash, putting himself between you and Alex, breaking the grip he had on you.

Before you could even fully comprehend what happened, Alex had cocked his arm back and sent a hard punch to Jesse's face.

"You son of a bitch" You yelled, moving around Jesse before he could stop you and slapped him across the face.

He had never hit you before, so when you felt the stinging heat over your face you couldn't believe it. The momentum of his backhand sent you onto the gravel.

Jesse heard the hit and reacted quick. You weren't sure what happened but you knew they were on the ground and Jesse was on top of him, grunting accompanying the sick sound of his fist making contact with Alex.

The skin underneath your hand throbbed and your head was spinning bad. The alcohol not helping the panic you were feeling. Dina and Ellie appeared from thin air, Dina helping you to your feet while Ellie grabbed Jesse's arm, mid punch.

There was hushed conversation between the two as Dina moved your hand so she could look at you. The skin was red with a small amount of blood where his ring sliced your lip.

"You'll be okay," She slurred still able to function as if she were sober as she examined you.

You didn't respond, quite literally in shock at what had happened. Instead you looked over to see Alex lying on the ground, holding his side. Jesse and Ellie were standing in front of you now.

"She’ll have a fat lip and it’s going to bruise pretty bad but it'll heal"

Jesse said something to Ellie before reaching out and touching your shoulder, "Come on, I'll take you home"

You nodded, falling in step beside him using his arm for support. After you were out of ear shot of the girls you let out a shaky breath, "I don't wanna be alone, can I stay with you tonight?"

"Yeah, of course you can"

After a short walk in complete silence you were in his kitchen as he used a wet cloth to clean up the small amount of blood had dripped from your mouth.

He was close to you as you sat on his counter, legs crossed and fingers pulling at the loose thread of your long sleeved top.

The punch that he had taken from Alex left his lip bloody and slightly swollen but he didn't seem to care, “Looks like we are twins”

"Has he done that to you before tonight" Jesse asked, voice soft as he furrowed his brows, tentatively pressing the cloth.

"Never" You whispered. Then, in the silence of his home and with no pressure to keep up a strong front you looked at him, "Came close a couple of times when he would drink but never that far"

His jaw clenched when you winced at the cloth touching a sensitive spot.

"I'm sorry"

You blinked, "For what?"

"For making you think you couldn't tell me about that kind of thing" He says simply, moving to grab the ice pack that he had set on the counter.

"It's not that," You breathed, "I just—you guys were such good friends and I didn't want to get in between that"

"Were" Jesse corrected, muttering another apology as you hissed at the cold sensation on your face.

Any tears you thought you might've cried were gone. The betrayal you felt of Alex cheating on you dissolved the second he hit you.

You took a breath, gaze darting to his lips from his eyes, suddenly becoming aware of just how close he was standing to you.

You took the ice pack from his hands, ignoring the strange sensation of his fingers against yours as you touched his lip with it, "Thanks for stepping in back there"

"Don't thank me for that" He mumbled speaking around the ice pack, watching your movements, "It should've happened a long time ago, I've been wanting to have a go at Alex for a while now"

"Well I'm still sorry," You whispered, feeling guilt for all the drama and his fat lip, "I feel so stupid about all this"

"Don't say that," He whispered, pulling back away from the ice pack to speak clear, his hands falling on your knees, "You were too good for him anyways"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah" He nodded, looking over at the clock on the wall after his eyes lingered on your lips too long.

A couple hours later, you were laid out on his couch wearing the shirt and boxers he had lent you to sleep in. Your legs spread out across his lap. An old VHS tape played on the small tv he'd found years back in the attic of whoever lived in this house before the outbreak.

You were fidgeting on the cushions, trying to hold the ice pack against your mouth. In the calm of his house you felt relaxed but the events of the night still lingered in your mind. And you were painfully aware of his hand that was causally resting on your shin.

"I had a feeling that he was screwing around behind my back" You say your thoughts out loud, watching the actors on the screen.

"For how long?"

"A couple months" You sighed, "I caught him in the stables with a girl a while back, somehow let him convince me I didn't see what I saw"

Jesse nodded, not sure what to say. Instead of letting the silence linger, you continued, "I should've wised up back then"

"Why didn't you?" He asked, voice curious rather than brimming with judgment.

You turned slightly to your back, staring yo at the ceiling. His hand moving around your leg in small soothing motions made you want sprint around the room.

"I guess knowing he was interested in me, him being older and everything, just felt like I would be crazy to leave him especially after 2 years"

"You deserve someone who doesn't make you feel trapped" Jesse eyes you briefly before looking back to the movie.

"I'm done with this ice pack," You sighed, standing and walking into the kitchen. If you didn't move out of the room soon you weren't sure you would make it. You placed the pack back in the freezer, sticking your head inside for a moment to clear your mind, but you couldn't stop thinking about the way Jesse was making you feel.

Where was this coming from? Had you always felt butterflies at his touch or sound of his voice? Did tonight change something between the two of you?

For a long time you weren't sure what it was about him. Why you felt so comfortable with him or why he became distant when you and Alex started dating. Wondering if he knew that you noticed the way his eyes would linger on you or how he would flex his hands when near you, like he wanted to reach out and touch you. How your heart soared when he put himself between you and Alex, defending you against him.

Wondering if he knew you had a little crush on him since you first met him back all those years ago. But he was your best friend. Maybe it was the liquor still present in your body but you felt brave.

You didn't linger on thought too long, afraid you would talk yourself out of what you were going to do as you walked back to the living room.

He had his head rested back, the light from the tv dancing over his face as he watched you stand in front of him, "You okay?"

"Mhm" You nodded, knowing if you waited any longer you would second guess yourself. So instead you moved onto his lap, thighs on either side of him.

"Hey," He stiffened under you immediately sitting up, keeping his hands on the armrests, "Hey—what're you doing?"

"Nothing" You whispered, feeling the same butterflies you felt earlier in the booth of the when you moved across his lap. "I just wanna try something"

You could hear his breath catch in his throat as you watched him. When you noticed his nervous fidgeting on his leg you catch his hand and place it on the small of your back, an invitation. "Is that okay?"

He nodded, letting you move his other hand to rest on the top of your thigh.

You smiled at him, slowly moving your hand to his arm dragging it up the length of his arm all the way to the side of his neck.

He watched you, eye brows pinched and jaw set. Like he was being held at gunpoint.

You leaned forward agonizingly slow, still testing the waters as he watched you. He whispers your name, as smooth as butter.

You moved your hand to cup his cheek, thumb grazing over his fat lip. He didn't react when you touched it despite the little amount of blood that was pooling around the edge of the cut.

"Your poor lip" You cooed, distracted by the swollen redness, watching it roll under your soft touch.

"I-It's okay," Jesse rushed, shifting under you uncontrollably like he was going to stand up. He quickly changed the subject, "How does yours feel?"

You sigh, ignoring him, still feeling the liquid courage as you catch his gaze, eyes scanning all over his face.

"Tell me if you want to stop" You whispered, breath fanning over his lips as you moved closer ever so slightly.

When he didn't answer you glanced up at his eyes and back down at his lips. When your lips finally sealed against his, you tilted your head. You felt his hand flex against your thigh but he still didn't fully move it.

The metallic taste of the blood from his lip mixing with yours was addicting as you pressed closer, kissing at his bottom lip gently as your other hand moved to cup his cheek.

Pulling back enough to look over his face, you felt a pang of embarrassment, his eyes open and staring at you. That is until he leaned in toward you, catching your lips with his own. He kissed you back, lips massaging over yours. You smiled finally feeling his hand finally move, gliding up your arm to touch your face. The feeling leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

Suddenly his lips moved against yours harder in more desperate manner, his body reacting to your touch as you carded your fingers into his hair.

You parted his lips with your tongue, tasting every inch of his mouth like you'd always imagined. He tasted of blood and the beer.

You hummed against his lips, feeling a sense of success when he came out of his shell and moved his tongue against yours, soft circular motions.

The pure pleasure you were feeling at just the feeling of his lips on yours was driving you crazy. You adjusted slightly on his lap, moving closer to him when you felt his hands drop from your face and fall to your hips holding you in place.

He broke the kiss, leaning his head back against the chair, breathing uneven.

"Did I do something wrong?" You asked, pulling back in a daze hands sitting flush against his chest.

"No—" He sighed, realizing his hands were still on your hips and moving them quick as if you were poisonous, "I—we should probably—"

His words caught in his throat as you leaned forward, lips finding his neck and kissing along the expanse there.

"Should probably what?" You teased, tongue leaving a wet trail from his collarbone to his ear where you whispered.

Your name fell from his lips again only this time with a warning tone you had yet to hear from Jesse, you ignored it.

You made your way along his jawline before finding his lips again and kissing them just was you rolled your hips slowly against his lap.

He stood up abruptly, nearly knocking you off in the process as he tossed you back onto the couch.

"What's wrong" You whined, bouncing on the worn out cushions as you looked up at him.

He didn't answer, putting physical distance between the two of you.

"Jesse" You warned, standing up in the dark living room, the couch now empty, "If I'm reading into this please just tell me, I don't like looking stupid"

Jesse was nervous, in a way you had never seen him before, rubbing at the back of his neck and trying to not make eye contact with you.

"Oh god" You cried out, hands covering your face as you paced the floor, "I'm so goddamn stupid"

"You're not stupid" Jesse said softly, still keeping his distance from you.

"I am," You cried out again stopping in front of him, "You're my best friend. Fuck—I thought we had this tension—and now I fucked up everything"

"You have such a unique way of misunderstanding things"

"I'm not misunderstanding anything, I crossed a line between our friendship and I should have never—" Jesse crossed the room, grabbing your chin and kissing you again, in an effort to stop your rambling.

It was a gentle, quick kiss, pressed against your lips and gone before you had a chance to react. You sighed, snapping yourself out of the moment, "Don't kiss me out of pity"

Jesse rolled his eyes, taking your shoulders and pushing you back gently until your back hits the wall.

He angled your face up toward his so he had a better position to kiss you. This time he was the one leaning in slow, making you wait in anticipation. He peeked your lips once before parting your lips, running his tongue along your mouth. He was using more pressure than before, hands on either side of your head against the wall.

You sighed into the kiss, tasting the saltiness of your stray tears mixing with his salvia. When he felt your hands slide across the plane of his shoulders and interlock behind his neck he knew you were understanding.

"You had a rough night," He pulled back, breath fanning over your face as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, "And you're drunk"

"I'm not drunk" You argued, challenging him just as you hiccuped.

"Okay I'm a little drunk," He tilted his head at you, as you let out another whine holding your hand in between the two of you, using your thumb and pointer finger to gauge an amount, "maybe this much"

Jesse tried to hide his smile at you, holding his hand beside yours and making a sound with his tongue as he adjusted your fingers so the space between them was larger, "I think this much"

You rolled your eyes, leaning back in to kiss him as he pulled back, teasing you. Then you dropped your head, suddenly laughing when you touched your lip, “I can’t believe we have matching fat lips”

He let out a breathy laugh, unable to hide his little dimple as he watched you.

“It’s sorta like fate don’t ya think?”

"I think you should get some sleep"

"I can't go sleep," You whined, fingers grabbing for his shirt, "Not when I've been waiting for a night like this since we were kids"

Jesse leaned forward, pressing a another quick kiss to your lips, "That makes two of us"

"No way" You giggled.

"Yes way" He whispered, nodding when he pushed himself from the wall, "Why do you think Alex and I didn't get along after you started dating"

You caught his hands, swinging them slowly as he took off the wall with him.

"If I let you sleep in my bed will you keep your hands to yourself?" Jesse hummed, glancing toward his bedroom in the back of the house.

"No promises"

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As a bisexual person I'm keenly aware of how such stereotypes are inevitably harmful to us, but unfortunately when I see bisexuals in fiction who are Evil and stylish and fuck like champions I can't help but go "oh work" for a sec. It's a difficult conundrum

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bed breaks when joel and reader are.. yknow

ꜱᴛᴜʀᴅʏ

joel miller x fem!reader

had sm fun writing this tyyy

you and joel just moved in together and are in need of a bed frame all is good until you give it the real test

masterlist | 1.9k words | teasing, smoochin, fingering, unprotected piv sex, DOGGY😛

You wake up to a Joel-shaped furnace beside you, his arm thrown over your waist like he’s got some claim to the bed you technically found first in the housing lottery. But he moved in two weeks ago, and now everything in the little blue house smells like cedar, coffee, and leather.

Home.

“Mornin’,” he rasps, lips brushing your neck as you stretch.

“There’s a community garage sale today,” you mumble. “We need a bed frame.”

Joel groans like you just suggested he skin a clicker with his bare hands. “The floor works just fine.”

“Joel,” you say, rolling onto your side to face him. “We’re not savages. You threw your back out last week tying your boot. You really wanna keep sleeping on a mattress like a college sophomore?”

That earns a low chuckle. “Fine. But if I end up haulin’ somethin’ heavy, you better make it worth my while.”

You press a kiss to his jaw. “Deal.”

The Jackson town square is buzzing. Booths are arranged in crooked rows, tables overflowing with mismatched dishes, fishing gear, hand-knit sweaters, and the occasional hodgepodge of someone’s pre-outbreak DVDs. A little boy walks by dragging a garden gnome by the hat.

You and Joel circle the perimeter until you spot it: an iron bed frame leaning against a tent, spray-painted with the word “$10 OR TRADE”. It’s rusted around the edges, but it’s got this vintage flair—like it belonged in some early 2000s Airbnb before the world went to shit.

“Sturdy?” Joel asks the booth owner, a woman in her sixties with a braid down to her waist.

“Stood the test of time,” she says. “Belonged to my sister. She and her husband were…active. Frame held up just fine.”

Joel grunts and crosses his arms. “That supposed to reassure me?”

You hide your laugh in your sleeve.

Eventually, you trade two jars of homemade pickles and a box of ammo for it. Joel loads the pieces onto a borrowed handcart, muttering under his breath the whole way home.

It’s not a bad bed. Once cleaned, the black iron headboard gleams in the sunlight pouring through the window. Joel grumbles over the screws, but you can tell he’s secretly enjoying the project. There’s something boyish in the way he crouches beside the frame, a screwdriver in hand, hair falling into his eyes.

You hand him bolts, trying not to stare at the curve of his forearms. “You know,” you say, leaning against the wall, “this could be a new thing for us. Domestic life. Fixing furniture. Hosting dinner parties. Maybe raising a goat.”

Joel snorts. “I ain’t raisin’ no goddamn goat.”

“Not even if I name her after you?”

He looks up, one brow raised. “You wanna name a goat Joel?”

“Joel-ine,” you say sweetly.

He points the screwdriver at you. “I’m takin’ back that screw if you keep talkin’.”

Later That Night

The frame holds.

You test it with gentle movement. Then a bounce. Joel watches with an amused shake of his head, arms crossed over his chest as you kneel on the mattress and try to rattle it.

“So,” you say. “Wanna christen it?”

He doesn’t answer. Just walks toward you slowly and sure, like you’re prey and he’s already halfway full but greedy for more.

His hands go to your hips. “You just want me to break it in.”

“I want you to break me in.”

He kisses you like he’s starved. Not just hungry for you, but for this—home, warmth, normalcy. His hands are on your waist, pulling you close, his mouth hot against yours. When you tug at his belt, he groans into your neck.

“Slow down,” he mutters, fingers slipping under your shirt to map the curve of your back. “Ain’t even admired you yet.”

You sit back on your heels atop the mattress, letting him look. The moonlight streaks in through the blinds, catching the soft sheen of sweat already blooming on your collarbones. Joel’s eyes darken as he takes you in—shirtless, flushed, breathing hard.

“You’re trouble,” he says.

You smirk. “And you like it.”

He lunges forward and kisses you hard, all tongue and teeth, like he’s trying to prove something. You pull him down on top of you, gasping as his weight presses you deep into the mattress. His thigh parts your legs. You roll your hips up against him, and the low, strangled sound he makes sends heat coiling through your belly.

“Been thinkin’ about this all goddamn day,” he growls, sliding a hand down your stomach, slipping inside your waistband. “You wearin’ these little shorts… bendin’ over that booth…”

“Joel,” you gasp, clutching his arm.

He slides his fingers between your legs and finds you soaked. His touch is slow, deliberate, maddening. He rubs tight circles, watching your face the whole time. “Fuck. This all for me?”

You nod, too breathless to speak.

Joel dips his head, kissing your jaw, your throat, your chest. He takes one nipple into his mouth, hot and insistent, while his fingers keep working you. You arch under him, mouth falling open in a moan that’s half his name.

“Turn around,” he whispers. “Wanna see you like that.”

You shift, spine arching as you flip onto your stomach. Joel growls his approval as you lift your hips, bracing your hands against the pillows. He kneels behind you and drags your shorts down slowly, reverently, baring you inch by inch. The cool air hits your slick heat, and you shiver.

“Jesus,” he mutters, running his hands over your ass, spreading you open. “Look at you.”

You feel the blunt head of his cock tease at your entrance, thick and hot and so ready.

“Joel,” you beg, unable to take the teasing anymore. “Please.”

He slides in slow, inch by inch, watching you clench around him. The stretch is almost too much—but god, you crave it. You want to be full of him. Marked by him. Taken apart and put back together again.

“Fuck,” he hisses, bottoming out. “You feel so fuckin’ good, baby.”

He starts to move. Deep, languid thrusts that make the bed creak with every snap of his hips. You fist the sheets, crying out as he hits that spot over and over, your thighs trembling.

“Been wantin’ this,” he groans, picking up the pace. “Every night. Every fuckin’ minute.”

You push back to meet his rhythm, skin slapping against skin, breath hitching. It’s primal and messy—desperate—and the bedframe is not handling it well.

You can feel it wobbling.

“Don’t stop,” you pant. “I don’t care, just—don’t stop—”

Joel grabs your hips and fucks into you harder, faster. The sound of your bodies moving in rhythm fills the room, and you’re so close, it’s maddening. His fingers find your clit again, rubbing frantically, and you fall over the edge with a strangled moan, shaking beneath him.

He follows with a growl, slamming into you once, twice—then the frame snaps. A deafening crack. The mattress tips sideways and Joel shouts, losing his balance as you both tumble onto the floor in a sweaty, tangled heap.

Silence.

You’re breathless, stunned, still trying to come down from the high as Joel groans, “Goddamn it.”

“Yup,” you wheeze. “You broke our sex bed.”

Joel shifts off you and sits up, bare and exasperated. “They said it was sturdy.”

“Maybe just not Joel-fucking-me-into-next-week sturdy.”

He scrubs a hand over his face. Then laughs.

You’re still giggling when he reaches down and pulls you into his lap, one hand cupping the back of your neck. “Guess I owe you a better bed.”

You thread your fingers into his messy curls and lean your forehead against his. “Guess you do.”

He kisses you again, slower this time. Like you’ve got nowhere to be. No clickers. No broken frame under your asses.

Just a mattress on the floor, the man you love, and the moonlight painting soft shapes on the wall.

The Next Morning

You wake up sore and boneless, Joel snoring beside you.

There’s a knock at the front door.

You throw on a shirt and answer it to find Tommy standing there with a coffee mug and a smirk.

“Y’all break your new bed already?” he asks.

You blink. “How’d you—”

“Ellie heard the crash from two houses over.”

You groan and shut the door in his face.

Joel mumbles from the bedroom, “We’re buildin’ the next one ourselves.”

You call back, “With what? Vibration-proof steel?”

He grins into his pillow. “Damn straight.”

divider by @cursed-carmine 🏷️ @zevrra @xodilfluvr @littlemillersbaby @millersdoll @grayandthyme

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what the hell is craig’s problem like actually

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LOTR + text post

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Third Sunday of June | Husband!Joel x Wife!reader | one-shot | 18+ minors DNI

| Jackson!Joel | established relationship | canon divergent | ~3.8k words |

Summary:Father’s Day comes quietly this year. Your daughter is asleep on Joel’s chest. The world is still. There’s no fanfare, no gifts—just softness and the weight of what you’ve built. He’s not sure he deserves it. You spend the day reminding him he does.

A/N: Spent my morning thinking about Jackson!Joel with a newborn on Fathers Day. So I made this. It’s grief, healing, memory, devotion. And Joel Miller saying “mama” in a way that will stick to your ribs. if you like to get horny and cry at the same time this one is for you. ps. i wrote and edited this real quick, sorry if its a mess

Warnings: 18+ MDNI , grief (Sarah mentioned), BREEDING KINK,SMUT, ITS ALL SMUT,baby in established relationship, domestic softness, emotional intimacy, smut (fingering, oral f receiving, piv, creampie, praise kink, use of “mama,” slight dom!Joel, tooth rotting.

You wake up slowly. Sunlight filtering through the little gaps in the curtains, painting the room with streaks of gold and pink. You reach over beside the bed, arm searching. You find nothing When you roll over, you feel him, solid and warm against you. Joel is lying there, pillow propped up behind his head, awake. His eyes are puffy, you can’t tell if he’s even slept at all. Your daughter is sleeping on his chest, he’s got one arm wrapped below her, cradling her. He makes her look so impossibly small. “Good morning, lover,” you whisper, voice barely awake. He rolls his head toward you, looks down, and smiles softly. “‘Mornin', darlin’,” he mumbles, his voice too rough with sleep, maybe something more. His throat sounds a little tight, eyes are wet. “Did you sleep alright?” you ask. He just nods once, slow, looks down at her in his arms. “She woke up for a while an hour or so ago, got her back down quick,” he whispers. “You always do, think your voice makes her feel safe,” you say, “probably all that talkin' n’ singing to her you did before she was born.” He smiles again, just barely. Doesn’t say anything. He just curls his hand a little tighter around her back. You watch his thumb start to move, rubbing tiny absent-minded circles—like he’s grounding himself. His face is set in soft worry, as if he’s scared that if he stops touching her, one of them will drift away. You shift closer to him, tucking into his side, resting a hand over his. “She’s perfect,” you murmur. His jaw shifts some, and he closes his eyes. You feel it in the way his breath catches in his throat. The way his hand stills. “She looks just like her sister,” he says. You nod. “Yeah, I see it too.” The words, the room, the light. It all hangs there. Fragile. You don’t try to patch it, just listen, just let him speak if he wants. “I keep thinkin’—“ he starts, then shakes his head. “Hell. I don’t know what I’m thinkin’”

You press your lips to his shoulder.

“It’s okay if it’s everything all at once.”

You hear him swallow hard.

“Feels like I’m cheating. Lovin’ her like this. Havin’ her at all.”

You sit up slowly, shift so you can take the baby gently from his chest, and lay her down in the bassinet beside you. She stirs once, just for a moment, then settles.

Joel watches you the whole time, eyes fixed and glassy, throat working around something he can’t quite say.

Once she’s settled, you turn back to him, knees tucked at his sides, your hands bracing on his chest.

“Joel,” you say, voice gentle, but firm. “You never stopped loving Sarah.”

He stays silent.

“You just… didn’t let the world stop forever. Didn’t stop living. And that’s okay.” You bring your hand up to his face, caressing his jaw. “You’re allowed to keep moving forward, she’d want you to, baby.”

“I don’t know how to do this.” He exhales something shaky from his chest, “It’s been so long, I feel like I forgot how.”

You’re scratching the nape of his neck now, both hands on him, reminding him you’re here, you’re real. 

“You don’t have to know everything. That’s why we have each other.” 

You prop yourself up on an elbow, kiss the corner of his mouth. “Why don’t I make somethin’ for you to eat?” you offer, “pancakes?” 

He looks at you, caught off guard. Like he wasn’t expecting kindness today.

“You don’t need to do that.” He says.

“Let me take care of you.” You whisper, kissing him again, on his lips now.

 He doesn’t keep protesting, just looks at you with his big brown eyes as you slip out of bed and walk out of the room.

The light in the kitchen is still gentle, golden.

You move through it quietly, just to let him have the stillness.

You cook, shape the pancakes into little hearts.

It's simple, but it's the simple things that take you back to before this. Before everything got dark.

You go into your pack and pull out the gift you've been holding onto for a few weeks.

You put the card on the table. The one you scrawled in crayon. The one you spent an hour trying to get just right while he was on patrol.

Paint everywhere, from her head all the way into every nook of her toes. She'd fussed the whole time.

Her little footprint was perfectly stamped in the middle of the paper in blue.

You set the table, and plate the food. Put the card on his seat.

You know he'll come out as soon as he smells it.

You boil the water and take it out. Coffee.

You traded one of the gentlemen who came through town a few weeks ago. Joel didn't know. He thought you were at Tommy and Maria's, but you were really with that man's family, painting them a portrait. He gave you a tin of coffee beans, you thanked him, and thanked him, and thanked him. He didn't know.

You grind them up, and as soon as it hits the hot water, you hear his feet hit the ground.

After a few minutes, he rounds the corner with your baby in his arms, both of their hair messy from sleep.

He doesn't speak, just walks up to you and leans his forehead against yours, holding her between you like she's the most precious thing in the world. Like she's everything. Because she is.

You eat in silence. Nothing but the sound of birds outside, the sound of cutlery scraping, and her cooing every so often.

When he opens the card, his eyes go glassy all over again. He picks it up and turns it over in his hands like it might crumble. Or maybe he will.

"You're too good to me," he murmurs as he sips the coffee. 

"Not possible," you say, sitting right next to him, resting your hand over his on the table.

"You are my heart, Joel. You always have been, always will."

You squeeze his hand, he lifts it and kisses the back of it, looking right into your eyes. His gloss over with something too soft to name, no edges today.

The rest of the day passed like a dream.

But not in the way where it felt unreal—no. In a way where everything blurred at the edges. Where the light felt like it stayed warm a little too long, the breeze was too gentle to be anything but divine.

You sat on a blanket in the grass while Joel strummed the guitar, back leaning against the old porch post, your daughter nestled in his lap.

She kicked her feet, babbled. He stared at her, listening like she was preaching scripture. She swatted at the strings, and he just smiled, letting her. Didn't even try to stop her when she slapped the frets and giggled like she'd invented the very concept of music herself. He just kept strumming, singing something soft and low, the melody familiar and broken in, like an old t-shirt.

You watched them like that for hours, something deep in your chest, something you couldn't speak either. Something much too big for just love.

When the sun sank low behind the horizon, and the bugs came out, you cooked again. Something simple, warm. Pasta. You stood in the kitchen together, and he kissed your shoulder as you cut herbs. The baby giggled at every sizzle of the pan.

Later, you both bathed her. Joel held her like she was made of porcelain, crooning quietly under his breath while you rubbed soap through her soft little curls.

Eventually, when you put her down, he read to her. The same dog-eared books he always chose. Sesame Street, Robert Munsch… His voice was steady and soothing. Her little hands clung to his finger even as she nodded off.

You played cards, sitting cross-legged at the coffee table. You let him beat you at rummy. Twice. Then you teased him, accused him of cheating. He looked smug as hell, happy. After, you told him that if he was gonna hustle you, he'd better be the one doing dishes. He said, "Yes, ma'am," in what was still left of that lazy southern drawl you loved so damn much. It made your stomach flutter.

Now you’re in the bathroom, running the shower. You make him get in, reluctant as he is, you convince him. He trusts you. He loves you. You pour shampoo into your palms and lather it, scrubbing his hair with all the tender care in the world. He sighs into your chest as you scratch at his nape. Tipping his head down so you have easier access. He does the same for you. When the soap is rinsed and the water begins to cool, you press your body to his, arms wrapped and wet around his shoulders. You kiss him. Not hard, not desperate, or fueled. You just let your bodies melt together while the water runs over you like rain. When you break the kiss, you look up at him, water cascading through his curls, over his face. His lips are red and a bit swollen, his eyes aren’t glassy anymore, they’re dark. Hungry. The water seems to have been able to wash away some of the weight of today. He leads you out of the shower, wraps your hair up in one towel, and takes a second to dry off your body, paying perfect detail to every inch. You do the same for him. There is something so special about days like these. Where everything feels slow, comfortable, connected. They don’t come often anymore, not since the baby. You both get dressed in pajamas, he puts on pants, you just a shirt. Trying your very best to be quiet as you open drawers so the baby stays sound. He stands behind you as you stand at the end of the bed and watch her for a while. He wraps his arms around your middle, palms flat on your belly. He  leans his head onto your shoulder, mouth beside your ear, whispers, “Thank you for giving me her.” You turn your head, look him in his eyes for a minute, and respond. “No, Joel.” You kiss him again, “Thank you. Thank you for making me a mama.” “I love you.” is all he responds, mumbling it into the curve of your neck, kissing the soft skin there, sending static waves all the way through you. He wraps his big hands tighter around your belly, kissing up from your shoulder to your jaw as he slowly walks you backward toward the bedroom door. As soon as you let the door softly click closed, the air in the house changes. It charges. He doesn't say anything when you guide him toward the couch—no. He just follows, like you're tethered to each other. His hands are still locked on you as you make your way to the couch in the dark.

He pushes you down onto it, then drops down to his knees. You reach forward and run your fingers over his bare shoulders, digging them into the tension that's there, today, every day. You massage him, cradle his face, and touch everything you can reach. He kisses you like he means to undo you. Slow at first, like he's still not quite convinced this is what he deserves. Like every inch of you is prayer, and he's scared to speak it too loud. His hands trail up beneath the shirt you're wearing. His shirt. Callused fingers palming gently at your sides, up and down like he's relearning the shape of you. He leans in and kisses you, harder this time. Still not demanding, it's like he's just claiming you as his. It's the kind of kiss that breathes in you like he's starving for oxygen and tastes like memory. Like every version of him that's ever loved you is all showing up at once.

You moan into his mouth when he slides his hand down from your jaw, over you collarbone, down lower. He stops to cup your breast, circling his fingers so gently over your nipple. His mouth moves down your body and replaces his hand. He sucks and flicks at your skin through your shirt, rolling his tongue over and over.

You can feel his restraint start to slowly slip. Feel it leaving him through short, little panting breaths.

The way he touches you is slow, full of that all-familiar ache. His hands find your thighs, your waist, and finally up under your shirt. When he pulls it over your head he pauses like he's seeing you for the first damn time.

Your hands reach for his face, thumbs brushing the sides of his jaw, rough with stubble.

You watch his eyes darken as they make their way over your body, traveling, lingering at the softest parts. Your belly, your chest. All of the places that bore witness to what you built together

He lays his palms flat against your stomach and stops.

"She was right here," he says, voice quiet. "You carried her right there."

You cover his hand with yours, pressing it tighter into your skin. "She was," you whisper. "And you loved me through every second of it."

His other hand slips down, cupping between your thighs—you feel him shudder when he finds you already wet, needy.

"Still love you like that. More, even."

You breathe out something shaky. "Then take me there again, Joel."

You watch his throat as he struggles to swallow, his brows twitch into the smallest furrow for a moment. He leans into you, rests his head against your bare thigh.

"I've been feeling like the word was gonna end again," he murmurs. "Like this peace...this quiet...this thing we built is just borrowed." he keeps his head down, "I don't wanna waste it. I wanna remember everything."

You slide your fingers into his hair and tug. Not hard, just enough to make his eyes flick up to you, glinting in the low light.

"The world isn't ending again, Joel, we're gonna keep building ours, together. Everyone's safe," you say.

He kisses the inside of your thigh, then higher, then higher, then higher.

He hooks a finger underneath the waistband of your panties and then looks up at you, like he's asking for permission.

You nod, and when he peels them down, he doesn't just look—he stares.

"Fuck, so wet already" he says, voice dripping in awe "You miss me too mama?"

That word—oh god, that word. Mama. It hits you like a chord strummed right through your ribs, makes you pussy clench, has your whole body aching. It wrecks you every time. The way he says it is like praise. Like a god damn title.

"Think I'm not always like this for you?"

He grins, its soft, not cocky, but maybe proud.

Pleased.

"You ruin me so easily," he says, voice low and worn. "Every fuckin' time."

"Joel," you whine, grinding your hips down toward his face.

He chuckles against you, then flattens his tongue, licking a long stripe right down your center, groaning when he tastes you. His lips wrap tight around your clit and he sucks, gentle at first—then firmer. He works you until your back arches and your hands are fisting the cusions.

He eats you like it's the first time, maybe like it might be the last. Like this is the only way he knows how to say thank you for staying.

You whimper, tilting your hips, thighs tightening around his neck.

"Baby, fuck--"

"Yeah, that's it," he murmurs against you. "Give it to me. Let me take care of you."

Your whole body arches when he slips two fingers inside, curling them just right. It's too much, it's not enough. It's perfect.

"God damn, I love the way you sound when I got my mouth on you," he says. "Wanna feel you, c'mon, wanna feel you fall apart for me."

You come, mouth parted in a soundless cry, legs trembling, until his name pours out of your mouth like a broken hymn.

His pace doesn't falter; he doesn't stop. Just licks you through it, lets you ride it out on his tongue. Holding you still, taking everything you give.

When he finally rises from your thighs, his beard is glistening, his eyes are dark.

He kisses your belly, then higher. Then your lips, like he's giving it back to you. Your taste, your need, your surrender.

"Gonna let me love you right?" he asks, voice rasped. "Let me give you everything?"

"Yes, please, Joel--need it. Need you."

"Been thinkin' about this all night. You. The way you looked this morning with her in your arms." He crawls over top of you. "You were made to be a mama."

Your breath stutters, heart kicking.

"You know, you're real mean when you talk like that," you whisper.

He looks down at you, grinning as he tugs down his sweats. You watch as his cock springs free, thick, flushed and leaking.

"You sayin' it's a turn on?"

You nod, biting your lip.

He groans low in his throat, wrecked, and lines himself up. The head of his cock drags through your slick.

He pushes in slowly, inch by inch, watching your face the whole time. Eyes wide, mouth open in awe.

A moan is torn from you, loud, head falling back. He sinks in all the way, hips flush to yours now.

He stays still once he’s buried deep. His hands frame your face.

“I’ve never loved anything like I love this,” he says. “You. Her. Us.”

Your eyes sting. Your chest cracks open.

“I know,” you whisper. “Me too.”

He starts to move—slow, deep thrusts that drag along every inch of you, rolling his hips into yours.

He grabs your hand and puts it over your belly with his. Pressing down right where you’re full of him.

“Wanna give you another one” he breathes. “Wanna keep fillin' our life with good things”

“Joel—”

He grabs your hips tighter, ruts harder, deeper. It doesn't feel like fucking. It feels like this is carving. This is memory. This is making something.

“You want that?” he asks, voice breaking. “You wanna give me another?”

“Yes,” you gasp. “Fuck, yes.”

He slows down some, shallower, grinding against you, the head of his cock catching on your opening over and over driving you insane.

“Turn around,” Joel murmurs, he growls. “On your hands and knees, baby.”

You don’t argue. You don’t ask. You feel it in his voice—that threadbare edge, the way he’s holding back like it’s costing him something. And you want to take the leash off.

So you nod. Slow. Wordless.

And roll.

Every limb feels loose, useless, boneless from how hard he just made you come with his mouth, but you shift, dragging your trembling body onto your stomach, then pushing up to your knees.

Your arms buckle a little under you. Joel’s hands are there instantly, one bracing your hip, the other gliding up your spine.

“Easy, sweetheart. I got you.”

You arch for him, shuddering, and you hear the crack in his breath. The way he exhales, like it hurts. Like the sight of you like this just knocked the wind out of him.

“Goddamn. Look at you,” he whispers. “Still fuckin’ cryin’ for me.”

You whimper when his hand spreads you open, thumb brushing through your folds. You’re slick everywhere. Down your thighs. Pooling between them. The contact makes you gasp.

“Fuck, you’re dripping,” he says, almost like it’s a prayer. “All over my fuckin’ couch. That from me, mama?”

Your voice is ragged. “It’s all from you.”

That earns you a moan.

You hear the soft slap of him stroking himself, the wet sound of his cock in his palm. You arch a little deeper, offer him everything.

And then he’s there.

The head of his cock presses back to your entrance and you both gasp as he slides inside.

The stretch hits different from this angle. Sharper, meaner, fucking heavenly. He presses in all the way, to the hilt, hands locked tight on your waist.

“Jesus Christ,” he hisses. “You feel like you’re fuckin’ made for me.”

You drop your head between your arms, mouth falling open. “I am, Joel.”

That makes him grunt. Low and rough.

He pulls back and thrusts in again, and it makes your knees slide an inch forward on the couch. Makes your voice break on a gasp.

The rhythm he sets is brutal—faster, deeper now. Dragging, grinding thrusts that punch the air from your lungs. “Still got more in you?” he pants, hand sliding up your back. You nod, forehead to the cushion. “As much as you want.”

His hand slides down again. Palms your ass. Spreads you wider.

“You said you wanted to feel it,” he murmurs. “Want me to make it count this time?”

“Yes,” you breathe. “Yes, Joel.”

He leans in over your back, one hand dragging up your belly now, wet with sweat, with slick, with heat.

“Then take it, mama,” he growls in your ear. “Take all of it.”

The sound you make is wrecked. Raw, wordless.

The filth from his mouth has your head swimming.

“You feel that? That’s me. All of me. Still fuckin’ hard for you. You’re wringin’ me out, baby. You want another one so bad? I’ll give it to you. I’ll fuckin’ give it to you.”

You don’t even recognize your own voice when you sob, “Please—please don’t stop—I need you—”

He grabs your hips, both hands now, and drives into you so deep it’s like he’s trying to break you.

You cry out. Eyes wet. Skin burning.

He moans, broken.

“Gonna come—fuck, baby.”

“Do it,” you whisper. “I want it, Joel, I want all of it.”

That’s it. He breaks.

He slams in once, twice. Then groans loud, slurred and filthy as he buries himself deep and pours into you.

You feel it. Warm and thick. A slow bloom of heat that makes your whole body tremble.

He stays there, cock still pulsing, his breath ragged, his hands bruising your hips like he’s scared you’ll disappear.

You both collapse on the couch, spent, wrecked. Happy Neither of you moves for a long, long moment.

He lays a kiss between your shoulder blades. “I hope it sticks,” he breathes. You turn your head to look at him, eyes glassy but glowing. “It will,” you murmur. You guide his hand to your belly, covering it with yours. Anchor to anchor.

“Happy Father’s Day, baby.” Then,  from down the hall, soft and sudden. A cry.

Tiny, insistent, familiar.

Joel’s breath catches in his throat. He presses his forehead to your back. You feel his shoulders shake.

You whisper, “She knows.”

And he laughs, choked up and tear-wet. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, she does.”

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Imagine Joel teaching you how to go down on him

Pairing: Jackson!Joel x f!Reader

Joel’s Masterlist

WC: 3.3k

Tags/Warnings: smut, minors DNI, porn with no plot, unspecified but big age gap, oral (m!receiving), virginity, unprotected piv (just the tip), daddy kink, baby-talking, young and innocent reader, condescending joel, terms like baby girl, sweet little girl etc.

You two had started slow, like always. You were curled into his chest on the old couch of his house, legs draped over his lap, while the fire crackled. Joel’s arm was heavy around your shoulders, his hand warm against your thigh, thumb rubbing little circles into the cotton of your sleep shorts.

“Y’cold, baby?” he murmured, voice all gravel and syrup.

You shook your head against him. “No… m’alright.”

“You’re shiverin’.”

“M’not,” You whispered, even though you definitely were, but it wasn’t because the cold.

He chuckled low, the kind that rumbled from his chest into yours, and then he kissed you slow, like he had all the time in the world to taste you, making you moan softly against his mouth, fingers curling in the flannel of his shirt.

It always escalated the same way, his hand sliding under your shirt, rough fingers toying with your nipple until you gasped into his mouth, letting your hand press against the hard bulge in his jeans, and God, the way he groaned when you rubbed him, the way he’d mutter, “Atta girl… jus’ like that,” until he got so worked up you’d feel him twitch and pulse in his jeans, cumming from nothing but your hand over denim... you loved knowing it was you doing that to him.

But tonight… You were hungry for me more, eager to please him, to show him you were a big girl.

Joel pulled back from the kiss, brushing a strand of hair from your cheek, looking at you like you were some fragile little thing he couldn’t quite believe he got to hold.

“You alright, baby?”

You nodded but your throat was tight with the words you were trying to say.

“Tell me,” he said softly, eyes never leaving yours.

You swallowed. “I wanna… I wanna try somethin’. But I need you to teach me.”

He arched an eyebrow. “What kind of somethin’?”

You blushed, you were so shy you couldn’t meet his eyes right away. “I… wanna go down on you.”

Joel didn’t move for a second, he just stared at you, and then his lips curled into that lazy, crooked smirk you knew so well. You, his little baby, asking him to teach you how to blow him, it was a wet dream come true.

“Oh, baby girl…” He said it like it was the sweetest thing he’d ever heard, but then he leaned back slightly on the couch, spread his legs just a little, and his hand cradled your jaw, thumb brushing over your lips. “You wanna suck my cock, huh?”

The way he said it, teasing, condescending, like you were some precious little thing begging to be taught, made your thighs rub against the other.

You nodded, biting your lip. “Will you show me how, Joel?”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he breathed, voice already thick with arousal, “you ask real nice, don’tcha?”

He reached for his belt, undoing it slow like he wanted you to watch every single step of this, like he needed you to see what you’d been touching all this time.

“You sure ‘bout this, honey? You don’t gotta do nothin’ you’re not ready for.”

“I want to,” you whispered. “I want you to teach me.”

Joel exhaled like he was trying to calm himself, jaw clenching for a second before he cupped the back of your head to guide you down, gently, until you were kneeling between his spread thighs.

“Look at you down there… christ, you look like you were made for this.”

Your cheeks burned but you couldn’t look away from him, from the way he sat there, jeans undone, cock hard and straining in his briefs.

“Take him out, baby,” Joel murmured, his voice lower now, husky. “Nice and slow.”

You did, fingers shaking a little as you tugged his underwear down. And there he was, just like you'd expected, thick, flushed, twitching, leaking at the tip already, making your mouth go dry.

“C’mere, wrap your hand around me.” Joel said, his hand curling gently around yours, guiding your fingers to wrap around his shaft, it was huge compared to your tiny hands, which could barely wrap all the way around him. “There we go. That’s it. Hold him just like that.”

He tilted his hips, the weight of him heavy in your hand.

“Start slow,” Joel murmurs. “Yeah, like that. Just stroke it. All the way up, then back down.”

You move your hand like he told you, up and down, watching his face, his eyes flutter closed briefly, his hips twitch.

“Good. Now—“ His voice drops to a groan. “Use both hands. One at the base, one near the tip. Gentle twist when you go up, yeah thassit.”

You do as he says, and his head falls back against the couch.

“Jesus, baby…”

Your confidence builds with every sound he makes. You twist your wrist slightly, slide your palm over the slick head, he bucks just a little, jaw clenched.

“That part’s sensitive,” he pants. “Just a little pressure there, not too much. You’ll know when it’s too much ‘cause I’ll start beggin’.”

You grin. “I like that idea.”

“Lick the tip, baby,” he said, almost gently. “Just a lil’ taste. Like a popsicle.”

You obliged instantly, letting your tongue flick out shyly against the fat mushroom head, in responde Joel groaned so deep it made you clench your thighs together tighter.

“Fuck, that’s it… Good girl.”

You did it again, this time slower, flattening your tongue against the head, tasting the salty precum as you swirled it around. It all felt so filthy, you there on your knees, giving him soft, teasing kitten-licks on his huge cock. Joel was drinking it all in, savoring the sight, trying to burn the image into his memory. No doubt that the man would be jerking off to this whenever you weren’t around.

“Goddamn, you’re good at this already. Natural little cocksucker, huh?”

His words made you whimper, you felt dizzy, your cheeks were hot, maybe because of your shyness, maybe because of how aroused you were. He found it endearing, how innocent you looked and yet how eager and willing you were to please him. It was almost ridiculous, really: that soft, delicate face beneath him, while his thick, veiny cock stood proud right in front of you.

Joel guided you again, thumb brushing your cheek as he spoke.

“Open your mouth now. Wider. That’s it. Just the tip, baby, just take the head in. You’re not ready for the whole thing yet, just enough so I can feel that warm little mouth.”

You almost wanted to whine, to tell him, “I’m a big girl, Joel. I can take all of it.” But if Joel said you weren’t ready, then you trusted him, he always knew better. You wrapped your lips around him, sucking gently, and he hissed, head falling back against the couch. His cock stretched your lips just a little, the taste of him is salty and clean on your tongue.

“Fuck, yeah, thassit baby… nice and easy. Don’t rush. Savor it." He breathes.

He was so gentle but filthy at the same time, his hand petting your hair like you were the sweetest thing while he fed you his cock in tiny increments.

He’d never had anyone suck his cock so gently before, he fucking hated when women just dropped to their knees and deep-throated from the first damn second. The best part of this was getting to mold you to his pleasing, to teach you how he liked it, so you’d only ever do it his way.

“Use that hand, sweetheart,” he coaxed. “Stroke what you can’t fit. That’s it. Just like that.”

Once again, you obeyed him, your hand working in rhythm with your mouth, hollowing your cheeks just like he told you.

“Good fuckin’ girl.”

“Look at you, makin’ Daddy feel so good.”

“Such a sweet mouth on you… you were made for this, weren’t you?”

His hips started moving just a little, it was insane how much just seeing you, his cock stuffed deep in your mouth, was driving him wild. But the way it felt, the warmth and softness wrapped around him? That was a million times better.

“Tell me if it’s too much, baby. Don’t wanna hurt that pretty mouth.”

You shook your head, taking more of him in, loving the way he gasped, the way his thighs tensed under your hands, he was slowly but surely unraveling, you could see it in the way his jaw clenched, the way his hand gripped yours tighter where you stroked him.

“Try takin’ a little more,” he murmurs. “Only if it feels okay.”

You inch down, slow and careful, taking more of him, your lips stretch, your tongue pressed under the weight of him, and you hummed around him when he filled your mouth a little deeper.

“Nghhh yeah, move just like that,” he pants. “Use your hand with your mouth and keep it slick. Little twist when you stroke. Fuck, you’re a fast learner, baby..”

You’re dripping now, feeling the ache between your legs just from how wrecked he sounds, yet you go slow, listening to every sound he makes, the low curses, the clipped gasps, the murmured praise.

“Look at me,” he rasps.

You glance up with your mouth full of his cock, lips swollen, eyes wide, the look you give him makes Joel groans like it’s physically painful.

“Sweetheart, you look so fuckin’ pretty like that.”

You moan softly around him, and his hips twitch, he gasps and pulls back slightly.

“Shit—baby—hang on—”

You blink, lips shiny, confused, if it felt so good, why was he asking you to stop? Were you doing something wrong?

“I’m—close,” he says. “Real close. You probably don’t wanna—”

Silly Joel thought you wouldn't want his cum filling your mouth? You were gonna prove him wrong now, you were gonna get your mouth full of it. You lean forward again, and you take him back in, without stopping.

“Fuck,” he groaned, voice rough and ragged. “You really gonna let me cum on that sweet lil’ face, darlin’?”

You moaned around him, and that was all it took.

“Fuck—oh fuck, baby girl,” he groaned, hips jerking. “Take it, take it, take all that cum for me—”

He spilled hot and thick into your mouth and onto your tongue, groaning like he hadn’t cum that hard in years. You swallowed instinctively, messy and clumsy, and some of it still dripped onto your chin. It felt thick and sticky down your throat, a little salty, unlike anything you’d ever tasted before, but it was Joel’s seed, and that made it feel… special.

He watches you swallow it, stunned, his whole body shudders through the last few spurts and you stroke him gently through it, hand slick, mouth soft.

Joel pulled you back gently, cupping your cheeks as he caught his breath. “Jesus Christ, baby…” he murmured, leaning down to kiss the corner of your mouth, tasting himself on your lips. “You’re somethin’ else.”

You looked up at him, breathless, dazed, and buzzing. “Did I do okay, daddy?”

Joel laughed softly, wiping his thumb across your lip where some of his cum had landed.

“You did fuckin’ perfect, baby. I’m so proud of you. That mouth, Jesus, you just about ended me.”

You curl into his chest, flushed, heart pounding, and he cradles you like you’re breakable.

“You okay, baby girl?”

I nodded, eyes wide. “Yeah… m’good.”

He smiled. “Yeah? That sweet mouth tired now?”

A giggle slipped out of your lips. “Not really…”

He chuckled low, but something about the way he looked at you changed then, his eyes were still hungry. “You want me to treat that pussy real nice too, baby? I bet she's achin’.”

“I…” you hesitated, chewing on your lip.

Joel tilted his head. “What is it?”

You looked down, then back up at him through your lashes. “I wanna try somethin’. But you gotta promise to be careful.”

Joel immediately froze. “Talk to me.”

You felt your heart pounding. “I just… I wanna try the tip,” you whispered. “Just that, but not all the way.”

His jaw clenched. “Baby…”

“Pleeeease?” You said, hand on his chest. “I trust you. I wanna know what it feels like, just the tip.”

Joel stared at you like he was trying to memorize you, like he was weighing the pleasure against his fear of hurting you. He was still hard again, painfully so, and he was dying to know what being inside you felt like, but he was still a gentleman afraid to hurt his sweet little girl.

“You’re still a virgin,” he said softly. “That’s not nothin’. I ain’t gonna take that from you unless you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” you said. “As long as you go slow, I want to feel you, please Joooeel.”

He muttered a curse under his breath, low and southern and filthy. Fuck, what the hell were you even doing to him? He was a grown-ass man, and here he was getting all worked up over just getting his tip wet, like he was some desperate teenager all over again in the back of a car at the drive-in, ready to lose it from a single stroke.

“Fuck, baby girl… you say it like that, I’m gonna lose my fuckin’ mind.”

Joel kissed you hard, then he stood and scooped you up in his arms like you were made out of feathers, carrying you to his bedroom, the one you've been before a couple of times, with the old quilt and the creaky floorboards. He laid you gently on the bed like you were made of glass.

“You tell me if you want to stop,” he said, voice tight. “I mean it. I’ll pull out in a second. Ain’t nothin’ we gotta rush.”

“I know,” You whispered, reaching up to touch his face. “I want this.”

Joel undressed you slow, kissing every inch of skin as he bared it, your nipples were already hard when he pulled your shirt up, making him groan as soon as he saw them.

“Look at these pretty tits,” he murmured, sucking one into his mouth. “Still can’t believe these are all mine.”

You arched under him, gasping, thighs clenching as he trailed kisses down to the hem of your shorts, and when he peeled them off, he found you soaked, so soaked through your panties, making the cotton stick to your folds.

“God damn,” Joel muttered, pressing his thumb against the wet spot. “This all for me, sweetheart?”

You whimpered. “Yes…”

He quickly tugged the panties off slow, baring your aching, needy pussy, then knelt between your legs, staring at you like he wanted to devour you.

“You’re drippin’, baby,” he said, thumbing through the slickness between your pussy lips. “She’s beggin’ for me.”

He made you whimper when he pressed two fingers to your entrance, not pushing in, just teasing you.

“You’re so tight,” he murmured, sucking in a breath. “You sure you want me to put this cock in you, baby girl? Even just the tip?”

You nodded desperately. “Please, Joel. I need it.”

He groaned. “Fuck. Okay. Get up on the pillows for me, yeah? Gotta be real careful with you.”

You did as he said, like every single time, obeying like a good girl, lying back and spreading your legs open for him. He stroke his thick cock, now fully hard again, the head swollen and leaking precum. Joel lined himself up to your entrance, brushing the tip through your folds, making you jolt in anticipation.

“Gotta open up for me, baby,” he murmured, voice condescending and sweet. “Let daddy in just a lil’. That’s what you wanted, huh? Just the tip?”

“Y-yeah,” you breathed. “Just the tip.”

Joel pressed the head of his cock against your entrance and pushed in slowly, stretching your cunt wide with just that first inch, your breath caught at the invation, it burned, but it also made you clench, hips twitching as your body tried to pull him in deeper, as it tried to accomodate him inside you.

Joel cursed everything and everyone, just the fucking tip inside you and it was already better than every goddamn woman he’d ever fucked. Tighter. Hotter. Wetter. Like his cock had finally found where it belonged, like it had spent his whole damn life searching and now it found his home, nothing had ever felt like this, no one had ever felt like you.

“Fuuuck,” Joel groaned. “You feel that? That’s just the tip, baby girl. Just this fat head stretchin’ that virgin pussy. You takin’ it like a good girl.”

You moaned, thighs shaking. “Joel…”

“You like that?” he asked, leaning over you, still holding himself back. “You like bein’ stretched open like this?”

You nodded frantically, tears pricking your eyes, it hurted, yes, but it felt delicious like nothing you've experienced before in your life.

“Yeah, you do,” he cooed. “You’re squeezin’ me so tight, baby. You’re so fuckin’ small… and I ain’t even in yet.”

He pulled out just a little, then pressed back in with just the tip again. “Look at that,” he murmured. “Pussy so greedy, she don’t want me to leave.”

You gasped, arching your back. “It feels… so full…”

“This ain’t full, baby,” Joel growled. “This is just a taste. You let me in any deeper and I’ll ruin you.”

You whimpered. “I want it.”

“You want what?”

“I want you to ruin me.”

Joel growled low in his throat, dropping his head to rest against yours, hips moving just enough to slide that swollen tip in and out of you, teasing your entrance, fucking you with just the head, over and over.

“God, you don’t even know what you’re sayin’, baby. You ain’t ready for the whole thing yet. I’ll split you open.”

“I don’t care,” You whispered, gripping his shoulders. “I want it all.”

Joel groaned like he was in pain, pulling out again to rub his cock through your slick folds, smearing his precum and your wetness together, nudging against your clit until you writhed. You had no right to look so fucking pure while moaning for him to split you open, begging for more cock.

“Not tonight, baby,” he said, kissing you hard. “But soon I’m gonna take this pussy for real. Gonna fuck you so full you’ll be ruined for anyone else. You hear me?”

“I need more,” You moaned. “Pleeease, Jooeeel.”

“You ain’t ready for more,” he growled, but there was no edge in his voice, just hunger. “You think you can take all this cock? I’m a grown fuckin’ man, baby, not some boy.”

Joel rubbed the tip against your entrance again and slid it in once more, slowly, deeply, groaning like it was killing him to hold back, like he was fighting his whole body not to shove deeper. And you were so wet, so full already, you couldn’t stop squirming under him, clenching around the small stretch he gave you, chasing more with every desperate roll of your hips.

“Easy, baby,” he grunted, voice rough. “You’re squeezin’ me like a goddamn vice. You keep doin’ that and I’m gonna blow already.”

His hands gripped your hips like he was holding you still for dear life, his forehead dropped to yours, breath warm and ragged against your skin, and he just stayed there, buried with just the tip inside, grounding his hips against you, just enough to make you cry out, over and over.

“You’re doin’ so good, baby girl,” he whispered in my ear. “Makin’ daddy proud.”

He rolled his hips and ground the tip in deeper, just a shallow push that was barely an inch, but it was enough to make your back arch and your thighs tremble.

“F—fuck,” you gasped, fingernails digging into his shoulders.

“That feel good, sweet girl?” Joel cooed, baby-talking you again. “That lil’ virgin pussy likin’ how daddy’s tip feels stretchin’ her out?”

I nodded frantically. “Feels so good, daddy. Don’t stop, please—please don’t stop—”

“Oh, baby, I ain’t stoppin’,” he said, grinding his hips in slow, tiny circles, keeping that swollen head inside you while the rest of his length throbbed against your soaked folds. “Gonna fuck you like this, gonna make you cum on it. Gonna teach your pussy who she belongs to.”

“Y-yeah,” you breathed. “So big… and you’re not even all the way in…”

“Damn right I’m not,” he said. “You’re too fuckin’ tight, baby. You’ll take me when I say so, not before.”

Part of him was fucking feral over the fact that it was the first cock you’d ever taken, and the only one, he’d make damn sure of that. Seeing you cry from just one fucking inch? One single inch stretching that tight little pussy open for the first time? Christ, Joel would get this moment tattooed onto his chest if he could, nothing had ever made him feel more like a man.

His hands left your hips and slid down, thick fingers slipping between your bodies, parting your folds and rubbing soft and tight circles against your clit as he stayed buried in you just that inch.

“Joel—oh my God—!”

“You gonna cum for me?” he murmured. “Gonna let daddy make this sweet little cunt cum for the first time with a cock in her?”

You nodded wildly, you were so close, your whole body tense and trembling, thighs shaking around his waist.

“Look at you,” Joel groaned. “You don’t even need me all the way inside, do you? You just need this big tip grindin’ right into that little hole…”

He gave a shallow thrust, just a nudge forward, barely anything, but it hit something that has never been touched before, and you cried out in pleasure.

“Oh my God—Joel!”

“That’s it,” he rasped, fingers working faster against your clit. “Let it happen, baby girl. Let that tight little pussy cum for me. So fuckin’ good—my good girl—”

You came with a sob, back arching off the bed, thighs clamping down around his hips as you clenched and fluttered around the tip of his cock. Your whole body went tight and then loose all at once, like you'd been holding your breath since the moment he touched you, or like you've been holding your breath your entire life before this moment.

Joel growled like an animal, hips twitching once, twice, and then he cursed, his voice breaking. “Fuck—baby girl—fuck, I’m gonna—”

He spilled inside you, hot and sudden, still buried with just the tip. He didn’t move, didn’t thrust, just stayed there, pressed against you as thick pulses of his release coated your walls, leaking out around the base of his cock, making you both gasp through it, panting, foreheads pressed together, bodies still intertwined.

You both stayed like that for a long moment, his tip twitching inside you, your cunt still fluttering around him, warm and full and messy between your legs.

Joel kissed you softly. “You okay, baby?” he whispered. “Talk to me.”

You nodded, dazed. “Yeah… yeah. That was… that was…”

He smiled. “Yeah. That’s what just the tip feels like.”

You laughed breathlessly, still flushed and trembling. “So what’s the rest of it like?”

Joel’s smirk turned dark. “Oh, sweetheart. You ain’t ready for that answer yet.”

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it!! I’m planning a little series of one-shots with Joel teaching the reader different things, so lmk if you’d be interested in that. As always, your support means the world to me🩷🫶🏻

dividers by: @/saradika-graphics

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[zombrifics]

Desires

Joel x female reader

Based on this lovely request (Keep them coming, I need inspiration!!)

Contains: smut, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, oral (m & f receiving), fingering, use of dildos and vibrators, nipple clamps, bondage, dubcon (it's a punishment), dom!Joel, subby reader, dirty talk, degradation, crying, dumbification, praise, possessiveness, edging, overstimulation, aftercare, fluff, mentions of anal, choking, gagging, slapping, nicknames like babygirl and babydoll

Wordcount: 9,599

Masterlist

A warm shudder went down your spine as you watched the various toys you had purchased today sprawled out across your bed.

It was nervousness, sure, the thrill of having bought these products behind Joel's back, but first and foremost, it was plain excitement. Who could blame you, really? There were days when Joel was out all afternoon while you were already at home daydreaming about him, his soft, yet wrinkled and calloused hands and the warmth and firmness of his body. You were left with nothing to do but find pleasure in your own touch – even though it wasn't half as good as Joel's hands all over your body.

Therefore the toys. You were certain that it couldn't replace your boyfriends heated touch either, but you wanted to try something new and had generously chosen a few promising tools to gift yourself even more pleasure. You silently giggled, the adrenaline rapidly shooting through your veins as you imagined what it would be like to discover these new kinds of arousal, but then shook your head, collecting yourself. It was almost 5pm and Joel had promised to be home at 5:30 and as you knew him, he was never late. So you were quick to shove your newly purchased items into the top drawer of your nightstand while occasionally stopping to listen for any noises downstairs.

When you were done, you ran your gaze over the bed, making sure you hadn't missed anything and then adjusted your hair as you made your way down to the living room.

You knew that you shouldn't be so scared of Joel finding out about this. At the end of the day you were free to have fun by yourself when he wasn't around and he surely knew that you couldn't wait for his return every now and then. A toy or two would be nothing but further help so what could possibly be speaking against it? Still, and you couldn't quite understand why, you definitely didn't want Joel to find out about your possessions. For now, at least.

With shaky legs you sat down on the couch, grabbing the book you were currently reading, but your mind drifted elsewhere every few seconds. The letters were a blur before your eyes, your mind unable to focus on the words and your thoughts with the exciting items just a few feet above you, waiting in the top drawer of your nightstand.

Jesus, this wasn't working.

You slammed the back down on the couch and headed to the kitchen next, craving a glass of cool water. The fresh liquid ran down your throat, moistening your dry mouth and tickling your lips. And then as you slurped up the last drops from your bottom lip, you suddenly heard the door open. A jerk went through your body, your spine straightening and your feet automatically carrying you through the door and to the hallway.

"Baby!" Joel gave you a broad, yet tired smile, pressing your head against his chest as you approached him and kissing your hair.

"How was your day?" you wanted to know and moved your hands up to his shoulder, feeling his tense muscles through the soft texture of his shirt.

"Exhausting. But good. We finished the project and I'm really glad we did it before the weekend."

You proudly grinned, raising your head from his chest and touching the side of his face with both hands.

"That's so good to hear. You did amazing, Joel."

His smile deepened, his brown deer eyes brightening up at your warm words and his hands settling on your hips.

"Thank you, hon. Honestly."

Joel leaned in for a kiss, his mouth tasting of coffee and something sweet that you couldn't identify, but you savoured in nonetheless.

"What do you wanna do tonight?" you whispered against his lips, sliding your hands up and down his arms in a suggestive way. But of course you knew that he was tired, so perhaps you would have to settle with spending the evening snuggled up against him without going any further, which you wouldn't mind either.

"Do you wanna watch a movie?"

His answer didn't help you in any way because a night like this could go two ways: The two of you would either fall asleep on the couch or things would end steamily with him carrying you to the bedroom and making love to you.

"Yeah. Sounds good."

Joel gave your waist a squeeze, kissing your temple and euphoniously humming at the scent of his favorite perfume on you.

"You smell so good, baby."

"Thank you," you smirked and then descended back to the floor when Joel let go off you.

"I'm gonna change into something more comfortable. You wait on the couch, okay?"

You gave him a nod, your dreamy eyes following his broad frame while he walked up the stairs and your body slumping once he had disappeared. Sighing out, you passed through the hallway and entered the living room where you let yourself drop onto the couch. Although you hadn't been as active as your boyfriend, you still felt the tiredness in your bones when you stretched your limbs and yawned loudly. But Joel was here now and the two of you would spend a cozy evening - although you didn't know how the night would go.

"Joel?" you shouted through the house, unbothered by the fact that he had been gone for barely more than a minute.

"Be right there, baby! Give me 2 minutes."

You wrinkled your nose, but passed the time with pulling up a blanket and getting comfortable underneath it. You were lying on your side, your head resting on the armrest and your knees bent to your chest. You were just about to shout for him again when your finally heard the creaking of the staircase and were able to relax again, your eyes fluttering shut as you expected your boyfriend to walk through the door any moment. He did, but the blurry image made you widen your eyes.

He looked… cross. Blunt and belligerent. Not at all how you had imagined he would watch you when he stepped through that door. You slightly raised your head so you had a better view and only now noticed a small item in his right palm.

This couldn't… no.

"Care to explain?" Joel said, his tone airy and callous.

"Joel – "

"No. I want a fuckin' explanation. Right now."

He tossed the mini vibrator you had bought today on the cushions next to you only to then put his hands on his hips, towering above you like a teacher who was angry at his student for not making their homework.

"Did you search my stuff?" you spitted, anger gripping you now as well. Who did he think he was going through your personal stuff –

"Your fuckin' drawer was open. I wanted to grab your hand lotion from your nightstand 'cause I thought you might want it later and they basically jumped into my eye."

Oh.

You swallowed hard, cursing yourself for having been so stupid, but at the same time… At least he knew now. At least you wouldn't have to walk around with the weight of keeping something from Joel although you usually shared everything with each other.

"I'm sorry. I know I should've asked you before… I-I�� I was out today and it just… it sort of happened…"

You felt smaller with each word, your head bowed. You sat on top of your own hands and nervously curled and uncurled your toes while waiting for Joel's judgement.

"It sort of happened? You're kiddin' me. Stand up."

Your eyes shot up, your head spinning from the sudden movement and your eyes perturbed and round. Yet you couldn't react. You watched Joel like you were in awe of him, muscles around your lips nervously twitching.

"I'm not gonna repeat myself. Stand up. Now."

This time your body worked, your trembling hands pulling back the blanket and your clumsy feet settling on the floor so you could rise from the couch. Standing in front of him didn't make you feel any less small, yet you were relieved by the small nod he gave you.

"I already got some ideas for you…," he murmured, scoffing as your eyes found his.

"Joel, I'm sorry. I know I… I should've asked you. Please. Don't be mad."

You gave him your sweetest expression, eyes big and lips pouty, but nothing in his face softened. It was the contrary, his nostrils flared and his eyes dangerously flashed. He looked like he wanted to say something, but then jutted his jaw foward and pointed to the door.

"Bedroom."

"But I thought you – "

"Now. And you better not make me repeat that."

Shit.

Maybe you really had messed up and underestimated how angry he would be about your careless actions. Thinking that you definitely shouldn't test him any further, you made your way to the door, the shaking of your legs clearly visible to Joel, but he ignored it. Without glancing behind you, you pushed down the door handle.

The first tear stung in your eyes at the foot of the stairs and by the time you meekly stood in the middle of your bedroom, the tear had reached the curve of your upper lip. Joel made you wait for one minute, then two.

This was the worst part of it all, the uncertainness about what he was going to do to you; the fear of him being seriously angry with you and the jittery bubbling in your stomach area. That was why you were almost relieved when Joel finally entered the room although he didn't look any less repulsive. With two large steps, he was in front of you, cupping your chin in a large palm, his other hand in your hair.

"Seems like I didn't make my girl happy these last weeks… That's why she had to buy herself toys to satisfy her needs."

"Joel, that's not – " you tried to interrupt him, but he silenced you with his hand covering your mouth.

"Shut up. I don't want you to speak unless I ask you to."

You moved your head under his palm, your eyes glistening with fresh tears, but you were able to blink them away. Not that you thought Joel would care anyway.

"It's a shame… But now that we have these toys in our bedroom, I guess we should make use of 'em, right? Maybe I should really take care of my girl so she might tell me about her desires next time instead of heading to a store and buying toys behind my back."

You wanted to speak up so badly, tell Joel that it wasn't like that and that you were more than content with your sex life. That it was just for when he wasn't there. But something about the fierce darkness in his eyes made you think that it would only make things worse.

He tilted your head, exposing your neck and pressing a surprisingly gentle kiss on your skin.

"I'll make use of 'em, babygirl… Don't ya worry. I'll make ya feel every single one you bought… And if we're gonna stay in 'ere all night," he whispered and although you knew it was a threat, you couldn't deny the way your pussy clenched at his raspy voice.

He palmed your waist, fingers digging into your flesh with no consideration that it might be too rough and then suddenly yanked your shirt up and over your head. Your bra followed, his hands working so precisely and fast that you let all of it happen while holding your breath and faster than you were able to blink he had opened your jeans and expectantly lifted his eyebrows.

"Take 'em off. And then get on the bed."

You felt pathetic reaching down to your ankles to slide your jeans off your feet, but what choice did you have? Joel had the perfect view on your ass and damp underwear, but different to what you had assumed would happen, he didn't comment on it and degrade you further.

Unsure of what he wanted from you, you dropped your pants to the floor and then sat down on the edge of the bed. You felt so pathetic, so vulnerable and disgraceful staring up at him wearing only your panties while he was scornfully darting down at you, fully dressed. But you assumed that it was just what Joel wanted to achieve.

He eyed your body, making your cheeks flush, and then walked over to the dresser. Your feet were dangling in the air, your teeth anxiously chewing on your bottom lip that you had sucked into your mouth while Joel took a few items out of a drawer.

The silence was almost killing you because with Joel it was never silence. It wasn't the first thing one might expect from him when seeing him for the first time, but with him it was always warmth and laughter. Not this. Not this oppressing silence that weighed down on you so heavily, it made you hunch over.

He was standing right in front of you, and you finally mustered the courage to look up and see what he had grabbed from the drawer.

Ribbon.

So he really wasn't messing around tonight. Words of apology were prickling on your tongue, your brain urging you to say something, make things right and tell him how sorry you were, but what if it would make things worse? Eventually, you swallowed them up and tried to get your shivering lower lip under control while Joel leaned in to you.

"Gimme your wrists," he ordered, his voice cold and deliberate. He wasn't accepting any doubts or questions right now. He was taking from you what he wanted and you didn't dare protest when he pressed your hands together and started to tie them up. The fabric cut deep into your skin, the purpose of it clear. It wasn't decoration or some vague warning to keep your hands to yourself – Joel would do with your body as he saw fit and wanted to prevent you from fighting back.

"You know that I don't like punishing you like that, right?" he airyly whispered, his brown eyes making you feral. "You know that all of this could be so much easier if you fuckin' behaved."

He suddenly dropped your hands and you wriggled them once only to find that they were tightly tied together, the blood in your veins throbbing under the restriction. You moaned, thinking that it didn't fall under 'speaking' and then suddenly Joel's hands were on your body, grabbing your waist tightly and pulling you up the bed until your head was on the pillow. Your pleading eyes were on him, silently begging for a sign of softness or affection, but his jaw was still clenched and he looked far from giving you a reassuring kiss. Joel's hand reached for your wrists, coercing you to bend your arms so your hands were above your head, causing you to have even less freedom in your movements.

"You keep your hands up here. I can tie 'em to the bedpost if necessary. Clear?"

You nodded, biting down on your own lip and blinking as he rolled his eyes.

"You may speak now," he hissed and rolled off you while your pupils frantically danced over his frame.

"Y-Yes. I'll behave, I swear."

"Good. An' the same thing goes for your legs. I have enough ribbon to tie you up so you can't move an inch. I can blindfold you, gag you and whatever the fuck I can come up with. It depends on you if I have to. You keep those legs still, I'll leave 'em alone. You keep that mouth shut, I'll leave it alone."

You were still processing his words, your brain somehow mushy and hazy just from what he had done to you so far – which hadn't been a lot – while Joel rummaged through your top drawer and took everything you had proudly purchased earlier today and placed it on top of the bed.

"Y-Yes," you stuttered before realising that he hadn't actively asked you to speak up so you swallowed the last syllable and silently waited for his next move. Which came in form of his gaze slowly wandering down your body before he stopped on your ankles. You felt the urge to squirm under his eyes, his stare so hot and steamy that every hair on your body seemed to be ignited by the sparkle in his pupils. It was intimidating, yet had something so sensual about it.

With a groan, Joel hunched over to pick up an item from the bed and with a warm shudder you realised it was the nipple clamps.

Jesus.

Not that you regretted your choice of toys, but knowing that Joel was about to use all of this on you and he wasn't in the kind of mood to make it overly pleasurable for you… You certainly were in for a ride and although part of you had adapted to the thought that it would be tormenting and agitating, you were also just horny for him.

You followed every movement, your breath fastening as Joel crawled onto the bed to kneel next to your almost completely naked body. With a quiet hum, he connected his palm with your breasts, kneading the flesh and jiggling it in his hand, but you were yet restrained to let the enjoyment of it show. Too big was the fear that he was about to slap you or withdraw just the moment a moan slipped out of your mouth.

"So fuckin' pretty…," Joel snarled and took one nipple between his rough thumb and index finger. "Almost too pretty to hurt 'em with these… But you're leavin' me no choice, you know that right?"

You gave him a nod, supressing a whimper as he traced a circle around your nipple and the sensitive skin around it while his other hand intensively massaged your breast. The slap came unexpected, but it wasn't very sharp so you just inhaled through your nose and pressed your lips together to keep yourself from producing any kind of unwanted noise. Joel grunted, not keeping his eyes off your chest for a brief moment and then took the clamps that were connected with a thin, delicate chain and placed them on top of your stomach.

"Now let's see what we got…," Joel mumbled and carefully took one to pinch your sensitive nipple with it.

The pain shot through your body like a hot sting, making your nerves burn and your body cringe. Joel immediately hushed you, stroking the skin around the source of the pain and pursing his lips.

"Shhhh… Shh, babygirl. You bought this, remember? So you must've felt curious to try 'em."

You whimpered and pressed your legs together because along with the discomfort, there was something else. This tremendous, ecstatic desire creeping up your body like sticky, warm honey.

"Joel," you muttered, too stunned and high on the sensation to remember what he had told you, but fortunately he seemed to let it slide this time.

"Shh…," he just made again, gently tugging at the chain before positioning the other clamp around your other nipple. This time you were prepared for the pain, but it didn't make it any better. Your body was tense and stiff, your back buckled and your hands in fists when Joel clamped the cold metal around the small bud, causing you to hiss out. Tears were pooling in your eyes, but not the kind that worried Joel. It was more of a way to cope with the overwhelming combination of the cool, sleek hardness against your fervent nipples.

You stared down your body to where the toys dug into your skin, your mouth agape, but then your lashes fluttered as Joel cradled your head and leaned in to kiss your brow. You would have preferred to receive a loving kiss on your lips, but it was better than nothing.

"Pretty," he commented, sliding a hand down your face and neck before his hand came in contact with the chain, which he lightly pulled at to test your reaction. And it came in form of a yelp, your eyes squeezing shut and your lips pressing firmly together. The most special thing about these clamps was the fact that the sorrow wasn't just limited to your nipple area, but seemed to spread in your whole body, making even your toes curl under the stimulation.

Joel played with your body like that for a while, using his hands on your breasts to squeeze and palm, trail patterns across your chest and coming back to the clamps every now and then. He didn't go too far and made sure to soothe your breasts after causing you to whine in pain by an affectionate brush over the swell, yet you felt feverish when he finally drew back and watched the work of art. With a dart down your body your eyes widened and you felt strangely aroused. Your nipples were stiff and swollen, red like someone had painted them and your breasts covered in handprints and squeeze marks.

"Doesn't that look pretty…," Joel whispered, but climbed off the bed to walk around it until he stood by the end again.

"I wanna hear what you gotta say, little one. What you wanna say about your actions today."

You gulped, your hazy eyes on his entangled hands while he looked you up and down.

"I'm sorry. I – I will never… I'll never do something like that behind your back again. Please. Please, forgive me, Joel."

He exhaled loudly and then grabbed another item, but before you could see what it was, he was already between your legs, parting them roughly and pinning your knees down.

"I'll see if I'm gonna forgive you and it's gonna depend on how you're gonna take this now. Look at me."

Your eyes snapped open, taking in the crease between his brows, his clenched jaw and his white knuckles.

"You're gonna keep your eyes on me. If you look away, I'll punish you. I'm warnin' you right now. Here's where the music's playin'."

He pointed at his face, his adam's apple bobbing and then a hand cupped your sex, warm, cracked skin pressing firmly against your dripping core.

"Jesus… This is supposed to be a goddamn punishment. And here you are, soakin' my fuckin' hand. Eyes on me."

He delivered a slap to your pussy, the smacking sounding obscene and filthy and his teeth grinding at your squeal.

"Shut up. All I want you to do is be silent and look at me. S'that too much to ask for? After you made me that angry?"

"N-No," you whispered, choking on your own words, and then lifted your gaze again. Joel flexed his jaw and glided his hand between your legs again, rocking his palm against your throbbing clit. You cried out, your body urging to go pliant underneath him and let it all out – all the frustration and desire until he would ideally make you cum, but of course it wouldn't be so easy. You tried your best to be obediant and not move too much although it was hard, his hand gifting you more pleasure than you had dared asking for, but it still wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

Your calves were tensed, your pussy desperately clenching around nothing and when Joel rubbed the base of his palm over the underside of your bundle of nerves you couldn't hold back and writhed underneath him.

"One more time and I tie your fuckin' feet to the bedposts," Joel spitted, slapping your pussy again and then withdrawing.

Fuck, this wasn't what you had wanted to achieve.

With quick movements, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties, pulling them down to remove the last piece of clothing keeping him from devouring you to the whole. And then the next thing you perceived were his hands fondling with something you couldn't see, your eyes still on Joel's face in case he would look at you, but then you felt an intrusion prodding against your entrance which definitely wasn't his hands.

"Joel," you breathed and grasped the bedsheets as he inserted the dildo you had bought today into your weeping cunt. You were beyond well-lubricated, your pussy practically sucking the toy in, yet you felt this indiscribable need to ask for more, plead him for things you couldn't identify yourself.

Joel slowly filled you with the dildo, oberserving your twisted face at all times and then exhaling once it was inside of you to the brim as though it had been him holding his breath under the unknown, unfamiliar penetration and not you. The toy was smaller than his dick which filled him with a primal, animalistic satisfaction, making his dick twitch under his jeans where a prominent bulge was looming over.

God, how he couldn't wait to feed you his cock, but before he could do that, he would have to teach you a few more lessons. Fuck you stupid on all those toys you had bought and then – once you were beyond fucked out – pound your pussy and squeeze one orgasm out of you after the other until you would beg him for mercy.

Joel bottomed out and then watched your eyes twitch while withdrawing and thrusting the toy in your pussy a few times until he pushed it into you to the hilt again. Then he let go and couldn't hide the grin as he watched your hips jerk forward. You were clearly craving more, your clit neglected and needy, but Joel made sure to change that soon. His hand trailed a line up your inner thigh, settling at the inside of your knees and parted them even further so you legs were forced to reveal your swollen needy nub.

"Poor baby," Joel cooed, inhaling sharply at the sight and smell of your glistening wetness and licking his lips. He was still restraining himself when he lowered his head to dive between your thighs, his tongue circling your clit once or twice – you certainly couldn't keep count – which brought you heaven for a short amount of time, but only made it worse when he raised his head again.

"Joel. Please," you moaned although you were well-aware that you were playing with fire right now. His nostrils flared, his teeth dangerously grinding, but to your surprise, he didn't say anything. He just pressed down on your lower belly, keeping you in place while reaching next to him to pick up yet another toy.

The bright pink immediately jumped into your eyes and you wriggled your toes in anticipation. The clitoral suction toy had been one of the things you had been looking forward to the most and now that it was Joel who was about to use it on you, you whinged in sheer lust.

"Greedy 'lil slut," he barked, giving your hip a spank and putting the little toy right on top of your clit. Then he hesitated, looking up your body to crookedly smirk at your blown pupils and gently tugging at the chain again.

"Stupid, stupid girl… Can't ever get enough, mhm? Always askin' for more and never satisfied with what you got."

He blared his teeth while skillfully turning on the device snug in your pussy, the vibrations instantly making your eyes roll back. Then he turned on the clitoral toy as well, his breathing shallow and rapid as he watched you squirm under the cumulative stimulation.

"I'm always takin' such good care of ya… Fuckin' you in the night and in the mornin' and whenever you want it and it's still not enough for ya. Spendin' fuckin' hours eatin' that goddamn pussy and she still wants more. S'pathetic."

His voice was low and husky, thick with his texan accent that was always more prominent when Joel was turned on. He watched you arching your hips, scratching the bedpost above you and wiping away the sweat on your forehead with your restrained hands for a while. You were so deeply immersed in this hazy bubble of sweet, sultry pleasure that you didn't feel humiliated at all by Joel examining you like that, you in such a vulnerable position while Joel remained fully dressed.

Your whole body was shaking and shifting, every hair on your body stiff and every inch of skin hot like there was a fire burning right next to you. It almost looked like you were possessed by a demon only that the demon was a very handsome, but right now very cruel man who now climbed onto the bed again, kneeling next to your shoulder and fumbling with his belt.

Your eyes were closed, therefore you couldn't see what was happening, but when Joel grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head upward, you knew what to do and wide-eyedly opened your mouth. Joel pushed his chin forward, his breath going in small hitches as he undid his jeans and shoved them down his legs along with his underwear.

His dick stood hard, so red and turgid like it was about to burst, and a drop of precum glittering on his tip. You glanced up to him as if to ask whether you had permission to lick it up, but before you could, Joel wrapped a hand around his shaft and pushed it past your parted lips. Your head was turned, your neck stiff after a few minutes, but Joel didn't slow down his punishing pace even as you wriggled beneath his tight grip in your hair. He pounded your mouth like you were a mere tool to get off and didn't flinch when your tied hands reached for his body and your nails scratched over his thighs in search of release.

In the meantime the toys in and on your pussy were still vibrating, sending electric shockwaves through your body and giving you intoxicating pleasure that only grew with time.

"Don't you dare fuckin' cum. You'll cum when I allow it," Joel spitted, his eyes on the way your hips buckled under the sweet friction against your clit. You choked and gurgled, spit leaking from the corner of your mouth and dripping onto his dick that was rapidly ramming into your mouth. You would have tried to withdraw, had his hand not been so uncompromising, your body completely at his mercy.

"Jesus fuckin'… Yeah. Take it. Take it like you deserve it."

He suddenly yanked you off his dick, a thread of spit connecting his shaft and your bottom lip and his lips curled into a wry and evil smirk.

"Tell me. Tell me that you deserve to get this mouth destroyed. Tell me that this is where you belong."

You whimpered, your lips tightly pressed together and your face twisted in zest. Your swollen clit was deliciously pulsing under the pressure sent from the toy and you feared that you couldn't hold back much longer.

"Please, Joel I – I deserve it. I deserve to be treated like this. Just please, I – I can't hold it."

"Yeah you can. You're gonna have to. I swear to fuckin' god if you won't, I'll tie ya up to the bedpost, fasten that vibrator on your clit and you're gonna cum all night. Did you fuckin' listen to me?" Joel fizzled, yanking your head back to force you to meet his gaze.

"Y-Yes. But, please."

"NO."

His hips jutted forward to feed you his cock once more and this time he went slower, but deeper. His tip kissed the back of your mouth, grazing the walls of your throat and triggering your gag reflexes whenever he was staying inside for too long. Fortunately you weren't super sensitive in the back of your throat, but even you couldn't withstand his brutal thrusts from time to time and had to tap out by fighting against the firm grasp in your hair.

Everything was sloppy and wet, spit running down your chin and dripping onto your chest and shoulders, but you were too messy to really pay attention to it. If there hadn't been this enchanting prickling between your thighs, this warmth gushing from your center to every last fiber of your body, you might have been able to slurp it all up, but you were already struggling to keep your eyes open.

When Joel came to a stop, your jaw was aching, your throat sore and your eyes puffy from all your crying. But at least you were able to take a deep breath. You blinked a few times, your pupils dancing over Joel's frame almost like you were confused about where you were and then moaned when he left the bed to go round it. With a low, quiet growl, he turned the vibrator on your clit off, which was a relief to you because although you had managed to push through without cumming and disappointing him, you had been on the verge at all times, always gripped by a fear of involuntarily releasing any moment.

He turned off the dildo as well and pulled it out of you with a forceful tug before dangling it in front of his face, his eyes wandering between your weak body and the object that was soaked with your juices.

"Open your mouth," Joel ordered while crawling up your body until he was hovering above you. You did as soon as the words had left his mouth and shrieked when he smacked you across the face.

What had you done wrong?

Your chin trembled and your glossy eyes opened to fearfully glance up to him and that was the moment you realised your mistake.

"I told you to keep those eyes on me," he whispered darkly, the quietness of his voice only making him appear more angry and cruel.

"I'm sorry," you instantly sobbed, sniffling and trying to wipe over your eyes with the back of your tied hands, but you only halfly succeeded.

"Now shut up and take it. I want you to clean this up until it looks like it did when you bought it. You remember that, don't you? If it's not clean when I pull it out, it's gonna go into your cute 'lil ass. And I don't think you'd like that."

A broken moan spilled from your mouth, but you didn't resist when he slowly pushed the dildo past your lips and twisted his face in amusement when your neck flexed and your body involuntarily buckled under the air restriction. This time Joel was on top of you though, caging and trapping you under his broad shoulders and you had no chance but to take it.

"Now where do you think you're goin', mhm?" he murmured, shaking his head at your kicking feet and petting your hair while thrusting the toy in your mouth.

"You better use that naughty tongue of yours to clean it now. Or do I have to repeat myself?"

Your chest trembled, but you did your best to comply with his words, running the flat of your tongue up and down the toy. You could taste yourself strongly, the salty wetness not unpleasant when you swallowed it and this time you knew you were doing well. Within a minute you were sure you had cleaned the whole toy and triumphantly darted up to Joel, who seemed to had found great pleasure in making you gag around the dildo.

"Nuh uh… Open wide," he purred when you attempted to make it slip out of your mouth and slid it deeper into your mouth. "We're not done yet, babygirl. You're doin' this so well. Show me everythin' you got."

He smirked and although you were choking under the intrusion - your eyes pinched close to defeat the tears pooling on your waterline - the fact that Joel seemed much less tense and replusive than half an hour ealier made you breathe a sigh of relief. Perhaps he would forgive you at last. He had to after teasing and torturing you like that.

Joel fed you the dildo one last time, hushing you when your torso restlessly flinched and writhed and running a hand down your side in a soothing manner.

"Take it. C'mon. Don't fight back, it's only gonna be worse if you do. That's right… just relax and open up."

You gulped and gasped in despair, a string of spit leaking from the corner of your mouth. You arched your back again, a painful whine that was only halfly muffled by the dildo escaping your throat, but Joel had you securely trapped underneath. His muscular, heavy body didn't leave any room for you to crawl away, but the weight of him on top of you also had something strangely arousing and exciting about it.

"C'mon. You can do it… You wanna make me happy, don't ya? Wanna make up for your mistake and have me forgive you. So fuckin' relax or I swear to god I'll put this elsewhere where you definitely don't want it."

In the end you managed to loosen and breathe through your nose, even though you were panting rapidly, sweat streaming down your back.

"Good girl… that's right… Knew you could do it. Just needa give you a real fuckin' warnin' and you remember your manners."

He suddenly withdrew, freeing your mouth with a plop and carelessly tossed the dildo beside him on the bed.

Then – and you were barely able to catch up with what was happening around you – he spread your legs, settled between them and ran his tip through your folds where your pussy lips felt swollen and puffy against his glans. Wet. As wet as an ocean he would be happy to drown in.

Joel grabbed your shoulder with his left hand while his right tapped his tip against your hole, circling it once, then twice and then entered you in one sharp thrust. It pushed you up on the bed, your face grimacing and your teeth grazing over your bottom lip.

"Joel…," you whined, throwing your head back and exposing your neck which he was quick to take advantage of. A firm hand traveled from your shoulder to your neck that looked so delicate and soft, he couldn't help himself. A light squeeze was all it took for you to clench around his length that was all the way inside you now, waiting and savouring the way your tight wet walls embraced him in a sweet hug.

"Jesus… This fuckin' pussy's gonna be the death of me. Fuckin'…"

He put pressure around your neck and simultaneously rolled his hips to start fucking you at a steady pace. You squealed and whimpered, tilted your head with the freedom of movement he granted you and grinded your teeth – anything to free yourself of the overwhelming and futile clamping in your belly and thighs. And Joel was happy to coax every last noise out of you.

"Yeah, s'it… Gonna fuck you dumb, babygirl… Fuck your brains out or what's left of it."

At this point he wouldn't have had to hold you down with his hand around your neck, but he kept it there nonetheless – perhaps to use it as leverage or to choke you. Either way, the limited air only added to the thrill, your breath catching in your throat and your fingertips digging into the mattress like you were searching for something underneath the surface.

"Joel. Joel, please."

"Shut up. Seems like I gotta fuck you harder until you finally. Shut. The. Fuck. Up."

He squeezed your throat at each word, making your eyes roll in the back of your head.

It turned out he stayed true to his words because in a matter of minutes your pussy was sore and your internal organs felt rearranged. Loud, wet smacking noises echoed off the walls, creating profane, pornographic sounds. His hips crashed against yours with such force that his pubic hair scraped your mound. Your cervix felt numb after a while, a loud gasp hitching in your throat every time his tip hit the spot deep inside of you and when Joel turned the vibrator on your clit back on, you thought you might lose it.

"Fuck. Fuck, Joel, I – "

At this point, you didn't care about his warnings, or better: You had forgotten everything about it. In truth, you probably would have struggled to remember your mother's name, had someone asked you about it in that moment, but this was nothing special for Joel. When he said he was going to fuck your brains out, in most cases it ended with your mind unable to form a coherent sentence and even if you had something to say, it usually left your body in form of an incomprehensable whine.

"I know I should've left you wet and needy for me, but god how am I supposed to resist this 'lil cunt? You can be happy she's so sweet 'n' warm, otherwise you would've spent the night watching me masturbate and cum all over your body. Now beg. Beg for me to let ya cum."

He suddenly flipped you onto your stomach, spanking you twice across your backside and then lifted your hips so you were forced to hold yourself up on your knees and elbows.

"I'm listenin'…," he whispered as he picked up the pace again and although you had believed it to be impossible, he went even faster, even more intensely.

"Ohhh… Joel, I – fuck."

"That ain't beggin', babygirl," Joel growled, hitting you again and forming a makeshift ponytail with his left hand to hold on to it while pounding your helpless pussy.

"Please. P-Please, I… Please lemme… lemme cum, Joel."

Your voice was quiet and indistinct, the words almost drowning in the filthy noises the two of you produced.

"Ain't enough, baby…."

Jesus Christ, he was enjoying this. He was enjoying hearing and seeing you like that. You could almost hear the grin in his voice and whinged in frustration about him. About everything.

"Please. Please, Joel, I – I swear, I…. I – I'll be good. I'll do whatever you say. J-Just please," you muttered, a high-pitched squeak spilling from your mouth when he turned off the device that was pressing firmly against your clit.

"N-No. No, Joel, you – you can't."

His hand palmed your hips before slapping your butt again, but your body felt too numb to really perceive it. All you could focus on was cumming, finally being redeemed from the heat between your legs and finding peace.

"Oh yes I can, babydoll. 'Cause I'm in fuckin' control here. Remember why I'm doin' this?"

You cried out, tears soaking the bedsheets where your head was resting on the cushions.

"'C-Cause I was bad. A-And I – I deserve it."

He seemed pleased with your answer because he turned the device back on, the soft buzzing sound music to your ears.

You couldn't make a mistake now.

You panted heavily, your knees wobbly and shaky, but at least he was giving you something. He just couldn't take it away again. You were dead silence almost as if Joel would forget about you and the pleasure you were finally receiving if only you stayed quiet.

Whatever it was in the end, whether he actually missed the signs of your approaching orgasm or he purposely made you cum – you did and it was soulcrushing. You raveled in waves and spurts of torrid pleasure, ecstasy blooming in your belly as you bit your lip bloody. All you could say was his name and god did you do it. Over and over again did his name - the source of this wonder - leave your mouth. Sometimes it was a faint whisper and sometimes a high-pitched cry. Every muscle in your body contracted and then loosened as the sensation slowly faded away, leaving you exhausted and tired, your limbs heavy, but your mind finally at ease.

"Joel," you murmured again - a light rasp in your voice - and weakly reached behind you to find anything. Only now did you realise that he hadn't slowed down and neither had the vibrator on your clit come to a stop.

"What are you doin' – " you managed to ask before he grabbed a fistful of your hair and pressed your head into the pillow.

"Shh. No questions now. All I wanna hear from you is my name… Said it so beautifully just now."

He crookedly grinned, drawing together his eyebrows with acted pity as you painfully whined at the overstimulation on your clit.

You should have known.

You should have known that he wouldn't make this so easy for you. Of course there was a twist, of course there was a little something that you hadn't seen coming. You had been begging for release and now he had fulfilled you the wish only to give you so much more than you had asked for, challenging and tormenting you in new ways.

And so the vibrator stayed on your clit and his thrusts didn't slow down. Your body was too tired to fight back, your brain too mushy and your mouth too dry to tell him that it was too much, so you just took it and hoped that he would at least reward you for behaving so well.

It was no surprise to you that your second orgasm of the night approached you so quickly and it was in no way inferior to the first one, although it wasn't such a relief as the previous one. No wonder - you hadn't been looking forward to it for the past hour. Heat spread through your core, your knees pressing into the bed while you clenched your fists - tied and resting on the bed to your left - around the bedsheets so hardly, Joel feared you were going to rip them apart. So he replaced the fabric with his own hands and allowed you to squeeze them while riding out your orgasm.

"There ya go… Look at you, fallin' apart so wonderfully. That pussy's all tired now, mhm?"

You squealed, still high on the aftermath of your release when Joel manhandled you on your back again and finally undid the ribbon holding your wrists together, his face twisting in adoration at your flush cheeks.

"I think you got another one for me, don't you think so?"

You yelped and tightened your weak grip on his hand so he couldn't let go of you.

"N-No. I can't, Joel, please. I can't. S'too much. Hurts."

"Oh babydoll…," he cooed, stroking a sweaty strand of hair behind you ear, but not stopping despite his calming words and gesture.

"You can take it. We both know you can. You just need to lemme make ya feel good."

"Joel, please," you hiccuped and moaned in disapproval when he made you release his hands, only to press your wrists down on your stomach.

"I can't, please. Please." He exhaled, buttoming out and groaning as he hit you so deeply where you could never reach with your fingers.

"Does it hurt right 'ere?" he wanted to know and glanced at your lower belly where he pushed down on your hands.

"Y-Yes," you whimpered and restlessly bent and unbent your legs like it was a way to get rid of the pressure gushing from your center.

"You're gonna give me one more. Gonna have to let me cum inside you and I need you to squeeze my dick for that."

His words were deliberate and sounded like there was no room for any doubts or questions. And so you took it. Your clit uncomfortable pulsated and ached, the veins around his shaft hurting against your already sore walls, but you took it with the occasional whimpers. Then, with a record-breaking pace, you felt the third high of the night catch up to you.

"I'm gonna – Joel, fuck," you cursed, your toes curling in panic because if he wouldn't release you after this one, you were sure, you would break down crying.

"Yeah. Cum for me, desperate 'lil thing… Yeah, keep goin'… That's it," Joel groaned and suddenly reached for your breasts, removing the clamps from your nipples and twisting them between two fingers instead while finally releasing too. Ropes of cum filled you up to the brim, sticking to your walls like warm honey and making you all hazy and dumb. Still taken by your own third high of the night, you moved your knees up to your chest and shakingly brought your finally released hands to your lips to nibble at your thumb.

"Fuckin' god…," Joel growled, pushing back one last time to make sure his cum wouldn't spill out of you and then withdrew from your aching and overstimulated center.

"Jesus. This is what you were fuckin' made for. Cryin' 'n' moanin' over my cock."

He spanked your thigh before crawling down your body. Before you could process what was happening, he had removed the vibrator from your clit and his tongue was deep inside of your hole, his nose nudging against your hurting clit and your chest buckling.

"Joel, no…," you sobbed, throwing your head to the side and cursing his insatiability.

"Please, you said – you said you'd stop," you cried so heartbreakingly that he almost felt sorry for you. But what weighed heavier was his desire to taste both of your releases on his tongue so he didn't hesitate when he licked a strip up your slit, settling his tongue against your clit and rubbing over the sensitive underside.

"No… It's too much, Joel, please. I – I can't. I can't – "

The sentence was left unfinished, your lids fluttering and your nose wrinkling as he worked on your pussy like he had a job to do. Like he had never wanted anything as much as making you finish a fourth time tonight.

"Just one more, babygirl," he murmured, the words muffled by the way he pressed himself against your core.

"You already said that," you stuttered, sniveling loudly and not caring how gross it was. After all, your fragile state was his own fault.

"Just this one, babydoll. After that we'll be done. I fuckin' promise you. You've been so good for me… Such a good girl… Gonna let your body rest, just need you to cum on my tongue one last time."

The praise had its desired effect, your face softening at his sweet words. He was manipulating you, using your delicate and vulnerable state to get what he wanted and part of you knew that, but you couldn't do anything about it. His affectionate muttering made you melt away like snow in the sun and within seconds you opened your legs wider for him, clinging to the bedsheets while Joel's tongue guided you closer to the edge again.

He switched between your hole and clit, using his fingers to get the hood covering your bundle of nerves out of the way and drawing pattern across it. And when he craved a taste of your salty juices, he trailed the tip of his tongue down to your hole, pressing a captivating kiss on your entrance before dipping it inside. The method worked so well on you, you were being turned into a mess after minutes. Your hands were in his locks now and Joel didn't even mind. He relished everything about you, the moans and yelps, the way your face tensed and your forehead furrowed, the slight sting you created on his scalp and of course, first and foremost your taste and smell.

"C'mon. Cum for me, I got you…"

You whined as if you were in pain, but when your body began to tremble Joel proudly smirked and greedily kitten-licked your entrance.

"That's it, that's my good girl, keep cummin'… Wanna taste every last drop on my tongue…"

Your fingers and thighs twitched like you were energised, your lashes frantically moving until you collapsed with one last whimper.

"Fuck, yeah… Breathe now, doll, breathe… You're okay. You did so fuckin' well…"

Joel crawled up your soft body, propping himself on his elbows next to your head and leaning in to give you a tender and deep kiss. Then he grabbed your hands, carefully caressing the sore and red skin where the ribbon had left a little mark and placed them on top of your chest.

"Breathe… Jesus, baby, you're so good. So sweet and perfect, I love you so much."

He cradled the side of your face, brushing with his thumb over your temple where your pulse was thundering behind your skin.

"J-Joel?" you whispered, half-litted eyes searching for his face through the cloudy veil.

"Yeah, babygirl?"

"Are you still angry with me?"

Fresh tears were collecting in the corner of your eyes, ready to break down at the faintest hint of disappointment or anger in his face or voice. But Joel sighed, his eyes so soft that you wondered how this was the same person who had walked into the bedroom earlier, glaring at you with so much fury and contempt.

"No, of course not, baby. C'mere."

He rolled off you, lying down with his head on the cushions next to you and pulling your feeble body to his chest. You purred like a cat and almost wanted to cry in relief as his words fought their way through your mushy brain.

"I love you. So much, sweetpea. You're mine, my prettiest girl an' you're always safe with me."

Joel kissed you on top of your head and softly chuckled when you nestled closer to him until not even a piece of paper would have fit between the two of you.

"You know why I did it, right? Not 'cause I like seein' you in pain, but 'cause I needed you to feel what happens when you disobey me. When you do stuff behind my back an' then try to hide it. But I made you feel it 'n' I know you learned your lesson so now I'm not angry with you anymore."

You pressed your face against his collarbone, your heart fluttering at his familiar scent that reminded you of toasted almonds and sun-dried cotton while allowing the effects of his words to spread in your body. The swirling of the butterflies in your stomach region. The goosebumps on your nape.

"I love you. And I'm sorry. Really. I shouldn't have gone behind your back. Next time I'm gonna tell you if I wanna do something like that."

He draped his arm around your back, slowly stroking up and down your bare skin while his other hand was busy combing through your hair.

"Good. I know you're gonna learn from your lesson."

Joel slightly adjusted his position and then darted down at you.

"What do you wanna do now? I'm gonna clean ya up now, but then? You wanna cuddle? Or watch a movie like we talked about? Or just go to sleep? Eat something?"

Your head was spinning from all the options, your eyes big, which made Joel chuckle lowly.

"How about I get a washcloth and while I'm gone you think about it?"

You hesitated for a second, but then nodded.

"But be fast. I – I want you to be close to me."

"Of course babygirl. I'll be right back."

Joel kissed your brow and then got off the bed. You watched him with a heavy heart because every moment apart of him seemed like torture right now, but fortunately he stayed true to his words and hurried up. You could hear the water tap running and then, what felt like a second later, Joel walked through the door and knelt on the edge of the bed with a soft, assuring smile on his lips.

"Open your legs. I'll be careful, I promise."

Your overstimulated pussy rejected the touch of the rough fabric, yet you clenched your teeth and found comfort in the way Joel held your hands with his left while his right hand carefully cleaned the inside of your thighs, as well as your folds that were still sticky with your arousal – despite the way he had used his mouth on you to lick up every last drop.

His focused gaze was on what hid between your thighs, but the soothing, mellow looks he gave you every few seconds were just what you needed to relax on the bed until you barely paid attention to the way the washcloth brushed over your swollen folds anymore.

When Joel was done, you had also made a decision concerning the plan for the rest of the night and excitedly for his return, you intertwined your hands. He quickly made his way back to the bathroom, but this time he was even faster than previously.

"Okay, honey," he spoke as he sat down on the edge of the bed, his hands holding yours while he invitingly observed you.

"What do you wanna do?"

"A mixture of what you said before," you grinned and slightly sat up in the bed.

"I wanna watch a movie and cuddle until we fall asleep."

Joel lifted your hand to kiss the back of it before gently placing it on your stomach.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He suddenly slipped an arm under your knees, the other wrapping around your shoulders to pull you closer to him.

"Okay. Then let me help my princess get to the couch."

You giggled and clutched your hands around his shirt while Joel picked you up and leaned down to kiss your naked shoulder.

"I love you. More than anythin' in the world."

His voice was quiet, almost as if he was scared that anyone else would be able to hear them.

Because they were directed at you and you only.

You, the only person that truly mattered to him.

[zombrifics]

In Frayed Cords their plan is to take the baby back to Jackson and have her be raised there I assume. Will it be weird for Ellie, Dina, Tommy, and Jesse to have a constant reminder of what happened to Joel living in town with them?

Tommy, not so much. He's too much of a dad, and for him, all he's going to see is a poor baby who's got no one. For Dina and Jesse, it's not going to be so much a reminder of Joel; it's more going to be a reminder of Seattle and what happened there and the person Ellie became there.

Ellie is going to have the hardest time. For her, the baby is so many things, it's a reminder of Joel, of Abby, of Ellie's failure to avenge Joel. The baby is also an obligation; she feels like she's responsible for her because she killed her mother. She left this baby without its mother, just like Ellie was left without a mother. She will always feel the responsibility for that.

Ellie is going to find her way with the baby; it's just not going to be an easy road.