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THE STRANGER ON LINE 4 â SATORU GOJO


pairing â ceo!satoru gojo x artist!reader
summary â for 713 days, you've been sketching strangers on your morning commute, giving away portraits to brighten their day. when a missed train puts you on an unfamiliar route, you draw a white-haired man who's impossible to ignore. you think you'll never see him againâuntil he plasters half of tokyo with posters trying to find you.
word count â 16.4 k
genre/tags â modern AU, ceo x artist, strangers to lovers, mutual pining, slow burn, soft romance, fluff, so much fluff, banter, provider!satoru gojo bc goddamn yes & him being a very dramatic puppy in love, misunderstandings
warnings â 16+ ONLY. contains suggestive sexual content, brief mention of financial stress and reference to past cheating experience.
author's note â put on your favorite taylor swift playlist and get cozy for the fluff. i squeeeezed every tiny bit of fluff that i have out of my heart into this. side note, the idea came to me after seeing a tiktok of someone handing out sketches on a train hehe. hope it makes you smile <3
masterlist + support my writing + artwork by @3-aem
Your alarm goes off at exactly 5:45 AM, the same time it has for the past three years. You silence it with a tap (or try, anyway) and slip out from under your warm blankets before the urge to just stay there and call in sick becomes too stong to withstand it.
Your small one-bedroom apartment is quiet, save for the distant early morning traffic of the city outside your window and your groaning as you make your way to the bathroom.
Your morning routine was more muscle memory than anything other at this hour. Shower (seven minutes), hair (five minutes, more or less), makeup (eight minutes), and outfitâalready sorted from last night (smart you)âcoffee and an avocado toast.Â
By 6:30, youâre checking your bag if youâve got everything: laptop, planner, phone charger, and most importantly, your sketchbookâa simple Moleskine with cream-colored pages that are perfect for graphiteâand a few spare pencils.
You flipped open to a new page in your sketchbook and wrote âDay 713.â Tomorrowâs entry would be 714.Â
Youâd been counting since the first time you gave a drawing to a stranger, an elderly street musician whose weathered hands moved across his guitar strings so smoothly, you couldnât help but try to capture his ease. When youâd shyly offered him the sketch afterwards, the tiredness in his face gave way to something softer.Â
Surprised. Delighted.
âIs this me?â he asked, his voice carrying that gentle kind of warmth older people always seem to have.
You had simply nodded.
The musician smiled, thanked you, and carefully tucked the drawing into the front pocket of his jacket, and that small moment sparked something in youâa sense of purpose, you could say, that had been missing from your otherwise structured life as a graphic designer. Since then, every morning without fail, you picked a fellow passenger on your train commute, capturing them in a quick sketch, and offering it to them before your stop arrived.
Maybe it was cheesy, but you didnât care. It was the smile that made it worth itâthe way a simple gesture could light up someoneâs face at such early hoursâthatâs what kept you going, for exactly 713 days and counting.
As you locked your apartment door this morningâTuesday, 6:32 AMâyou had no idea that your simple, stupid little cheesy routine was about to change.
Your phone vibrated as you reached the station entrance. A notification from the transit app lit up your screen:
Line 6 service temporarily suspended due to overnight maintenance issues. Please seek alternative routes.
Great. Just what you needed.
Line 6 was your direct route to the office, the one that got you there at precisely 8:00 AM every morning. And youâd never been late. Not once in three years at Takahashi Media Group. And today of all days? Really? The Yamada account presentation was at 9:30, and as lead designer, you needed time to prep.Â
Panic started to bubble.
âExcuse me,â you said to the nearest station attendant, trying to keep your voice steady while a tiny voice inside your head was screaming. âWhatâs the fastest way to Central District Station?â
Clipboard guy barely looked up. âTake Line 4, transfer at Miyashita to Line 9. Adds about twenty minutes.â
Twenty minutes?
Now panic was definitely starting to bubble up.Â
Okay, think. If you skipped your usual coffee stop and went straight to the office, you could still make it with just enough time to run through your slides once. Not ideal, but doable.
Line 4 was unfamiliar territory. Unlike Line 6, which you always caught early enough to get a seat, this one was already full. Businessmen in dark suits, students in uniform, and way too many elbows. And the smellâless lemony and clean, more like... cologne and sweat. You squeezed in and clutched your sketchbook to your chest as the doors closed behind you.
Usually, you picked your sketch subject within the first minute. It was like on autopilot by now. Your eyes would just land on someone, and youâd know. But in this crowded, unfamiliar car full of strangers, you felt a little bit lost. These werenât your usual commuters, the ones youâve come to recognize over hundreds of mornings, even if youâve never spoken to them.Â
But then you saw him.
He was standing near the doors at the far end of the car, one hand gripping the overhead rail, the other tucked casually into the pocket of his pants. He looked completely out of place, so unlike the others around him.
He was tall. Like, really tall. And his hair was white. It caught the overhead lights in a way that made it shimmer, like fresh snow under a winter sun. He looked young, though. Early thirties, maybe? The white hair didnât read as old, more like a choice. Or maybe it was natural. Hard to tell.
His suit was navy, perfectly tailored, but somehow different from all the other navy suits in the car. Maybe it was the cut, or maybe it was just him. He wore it likeâwell, like he wasnât trying. Top button undone, no tie. A pair of green-tinted glasses perched on his nose, partly hiding his eyes, but not quite.
Everyone else around him was either half asleep or nervously checking their watches, the usual morning commute zombie routine. But not him. He looked completely at ease and almost... amused. Like the full train and countless elbows between oneâs ribs didnât bother him.
You flipped to a blank page in your sketchbook, adjusting your stance as the train swayed. Your pencil hovered, studying him for a moment. Then, like always, the world blurred at the edges as your pencil touched paper, almost making you forget about the schoolboy who stepped on your foot every few seconds, squeezed between other schoolchildren on their way to class.Â
After a while, the train announcement: Next stop, Miyashita Station. Transfer for Lines 2, 9, and 11.
You signed the corner, tore out the page, and held it for a second. This part was usually easyâwalk over, smile, offer the sketch, say something nice, move on. But something about him made you hesitate.
What if he thought it was weird? What if he assumed you were flirting? What if he had a wife and three kids and a very awkward story to tell over dinner tonight? What ifâ
The train began to slow. Now or never.
You stood and started weaving through the packed car towards the stranger. He hadnât moved, still holding the rail with that same relaxed grip, still wearing that faint smile.
âExcuse me,â you said.
He turned, and for the first time, you got a clear look at his eyes through those green-tinted glasses. Startlingly blue. Vivid and almost unnatural. Somewhere between forget-me-nots and ripe blueberries. When they locked onto yours, warmth spread through your chest like youâd just stepped into sunlight.
âThis is for you,â you said and offered him the drawing.
For a second, he didnât react, and panic started to flare. Oh no. He hated it. He definitely hated it. But it was good, or not? Not Picasso, but decent. Solid. Right? Oh god, if he doesnât say something, literally anything in the next second, youâre going to spontaneously die.
Then, finally, his lips curled into a slow, handsome smile.Â
âA drawing? Of me?â
His voice surprised you. Deep and smooth, with a certain richness to it, like dark chocolate. And... was that a Kyoto accent? Subtle, but there. He reached for the sketch, his fingers brushing yours as he took it.
You watched, breath caught in your throat, as his eyes moved over the page. It felt like your entire morningâno, your entire existenceâwas waiting on his next words.
âYouâre very talented.â
...Huh?
You didnât know what you expected, but it wasnât that. Or rather, it was how he said it. Usually, people said âthank you,â or âoh, that's so sweet,â something polite and brief before they got off at their stop. But he said it like he meant every syllable. Like youâd just unveiled the Mona Lisa to him.
You. Are. Very. Talented.
The sincerity in his voice hit you oddly sideways.
Then the train doors hissed open and commuters surged forward, dragging you back to reality. Oh godâthe presentation.
âThis is my stop,â you said hastly, suddenly remembering everything else happening in your life. âI need to go.â
âWait.â He took a small step forward, but you were already being swept along with the crowd.
âI hope you like it!â you called over your shoulder, catching one last glimpse of him, but then his white hair vanished among the sea of dark suits, and the doors slid shut behind you.
It wasnât until you were halfway up the escalator to your connecting train that you realized something. Your signatureâthe tiny heart you always draw into the corner of your sketches. Gone. Missing. For the first time in 713 days.
It strangely bothered you. By the time you reached your office (7:58 AMâstill on time, miraculously), youâd almost convinced yourself it was just the chaos of the morning and had nothing to do with the handsome stranger who made your heart beat just a little faster when your fingers touched. Absolutely nothing.
You shove the thought aside and focus on your presentation. Line 6 would be back tomorrow. Back to your normal route, your normal routine, your normal life. Youâd never see that man again.Â
Or so you think.
Your presentation went flawless. The Yamada executives nodded along to your designs, and your boss even cracked a rare smile by the time you wrapped up. It was almost unsettling.
And by the time you packed up to leave, the handsome stranger had faded into the backgroundâa fleeting moment in a city full of them.
Line 6 was back on schedule that evening. You found your usual seat. Everything was exactly the way it had always been. Just how you liked it.
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
The next morning, you slipped back into your routine without thinking. Alarm. Shower. Tea and toast. Line 6 at 6:52 AM. Your favorite seat at the end of the car.
Your subject today was a young woman with brightly colored headphones, who seemed lost in her music. When you handed her the sketch (this time with your trademark tiny heart in the corner) she beamed. Youâd made her day, she said.Â
Life continued exactly as it should. Drawing number 714, 715, 716... each one gifted, each one with a tiny heart in the corner. Your little bit of everyday cheesy rom-com magic thingy carried on, uninterrupted.
A week passed. You were on your usual train, putting the final touches on that morningâs sketchâan older man engrossed in a paperback novel. When you handed it to him, his face lit up. But then it changed. Surprise gave way to something else⌠something like recognition.
âWait,â he said, adjusting his glasses to look between you and the drawing. âAre you the subway artist everyoneâs been talking about?â
âIâm sorry?â
âThe subway artist,â he repeated, like that explained everything. âThereâve been posters up on Line 4 all week. Someoneâs trying to find the person who draws portraits on the train.â He smiled, gesturing to the sketch. âItâs you, isnât it?â
âLine 4? I... I donât usually take that line.â
But then it hit you.Â
You thanked the man and stepped off the train feeling slightly dazed. All day at work, your mind kept drifting back to this strange turn of events. Someone was looking for you? Putting up posters?
There was only one person it could be.
The stranger from Line 4.Â
After work, instead of taking your usual Line 6 home, you found yourself heading towards Line 4. Your heart beat a little faster.
The train was full with evening commuters, but you barely noticed them. Your eyes scanned the station walls as the train pulled into each stop. Nothing at the first station. Or the second. Then, as the train slowed for the third stop, you saw it.
There, on a pillar near the platformâs edge, was a poster. Even from inside the train, you recognized your own work. It was the sketch you had given the handsome strangerâor rather, a scan of it. Below, printed in bold, clear type:
LOOKING FOR THE ARTIST
Did you draw this portrait on Tuesday morning, Line 4? Iâd like to thank you properly.
Please call: XXX-XXX-XXXX
The train doors opened, and without thinking, you stepped out, weaving through the tide of boarding passengers. You pushed your way toward the poster, staring at it in disbelief. It was definitely your drawing. No question. But why was he looking for you?
You pulled out your phone and took a quick photo of the poster, and then you just stood there, frozen. What now? Should you call? Would that be weird? What did âthank you properlyâ even mean?
You glanced around the platform, almost expecting to spot him nearby. But there was no sign of him. Only a sea of strangers, none of them with hair the color of snow.Â
On impulse, you peeled the poster off the pillar and tucked it into your bag. Back at your apartment, you unfolded it on the kitchen table. The drawing looked back at you, familiar and strange all at once. You traced a finger over the phone number, wondering about the man who had gone to such lengths to find you.Â
What kind of person did that? Was he just being kind? Did he want to pay you? Commission another drawing? Something about it was flattering⌠and also a little unsettling.
You took out your phone, entered the number into your contacts, and hovered your thumb over the call button.
This was ridiculous. You didnât know anything about himâother than the fact that he had white hair and apparently enough time and money to put up posters in subway stations. What if he was a stalker? Or some kind of... weirdo?
You folded the poster again and tucked it into a drawer. Maybe in a few days youâd feel differently. Or maybe it was best to forget the whole strange thing altogether.
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
Next day, you were back on Line 6, back to your routine. You chose your subjectâa woman with a long braidsâand focused on capturing the way the morning light played in her woven hair. By the time you handed her the sketch, all thoughts of the poster and the maybe stalker had faded.
Two weeks later, you were running a little late for work. As you rushed onto your usual Line 6 train, something familiar caught your eye on the station wall. The doors closed before you could really process it, and the train pulled away. You spent the rest of the ride wondering if youâd imagined it.
The next morning, you arrived at the station a few minutes early to investigate and what you found made your breath catch. There on the wall of your station, wasnât just one poster, but several. Each one with your sketch. And this time, beneath the drawing, a new message:
TO THE ARTIST
Dinner? This Friday, 8 PM.
Hanami Restaurant, Central District
You stared. Eyes wide. A dinner invitation? Posted publicly in the subway? Who even does that? Oh god.Â
He was a stalker.Â
Or⌠maybe it was romantic? No. Definitely creepy. Right? Who publicly invites a stranger to dinner using posters? A total stranger he didnât even know?Â
But... Hanami Restaurant? That was a nice place. Fancy. Not cheap. Youâd seen it once on your birthday when your coworkers took you somewhere nearby. This wasnât just casual ramen and a maybeâthis was⌠effort.
âOh, youâve seen them too?â
You turned to see an older woman standing beside you, also gazing at the posters.
âIsnât it the most charming thing?â she said. âTheyâve been popping up all over Line 6 for the past few days. My daughter thinks itâs a movie promotion, but I think itâs a real love story in the making.â She gave a wistful sigh. âI hope the artist shows up.â
You muttered something polite and hurried onto your train, heart thudding in your chest.Â
This had gone from odd to completely, absolutely weird. Not only had he expanded his poster campaign to your line, but now he was publicly inviting you to dinner? How did he even know which train you usually took? Or worse, were these posters up on every line in Tokyo? No. That couldnât be possible.
You sank into your seat, sketchbook clutched tightly against your chest, your thoughts spiraling. Was this romantic dedication? Or borderline stalking?Â
The invitation was for tomorrow night. You didnât have to go. Itâs not like he knew who you were or where you livedâtechnically, you could ignore it and carry on like none of this ever happened.Â
But⌠what would happen if you did go? What if he was charming and witty and everything youâd secretly ever dreamed about on sleepy train rides? What if he was a total creep?
You looked down at your sketchbook, heart still racing.
My God.
What had you started?
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
Friday evening arrived, and you found yourself standing in front of your closet, absently fingering the hem of a dress you hadnât worn in months. For a dinner you werenât going to attend. With a man youâd barely met.
âThis is ridiculous,â you muttered, shutting the closet door with finality.
Youâd already made your decision. Absolutely not going. This whole thing had gone from charming toâŚwell, kind of creepy. Who put up posters across the subway just to find someone they spoke to for like two seconds? It was excessive. Borderline obsessive.
You ordered takeout from your favorite place down the street and spent the evening sketching while a movie played in the background. Every so often, your eyes drifted to the clock.Â
7:30.
7:45.
8:00.
He was probably at the restaurant by now. Maybe checking his watch.
8:15.Â
8:30.
Maybe heâd ordered a drink to pass the time.
9:00.Â
Surely, by now, he knew you werenât coming.
You told yourself it was for the best. This way, heâd get the message. No need for awkward conversations or outright rejection. Just silence. Clear. Polite, in a distant kind of way.
Life could go back to normal. Back to routine. Back to sketching strangers who didnât plaster the city with posters looking for you.Â
And still, somewhere underneath all that logic, a quiet little voice whispered: What if heâs just sitting there, alone, sad, and feeling as unsure as you do right now?
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
The weekend passed uneventfully. By Monday morning, youâd nearly convinced yourself youâd done the right thing. Youâd protected your peace. Maintained your boundaries. All good decisions.
Your alarm rang at 5:45 AM. Shower. Hair. Makeup. Outfit. Green tea and avocado toast. Sketchbook and pencils in your bag. Everything back to normal.
On your usual train, your eyes landed on a high school girl seated near the doors. She looked tired, but focused. A textbook rested in her lap, worn at the corners and stuffed with colorful Post-it notes poking out from all sides. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and leaned in to read.
By the time the train neared your stop, the sketch was finished, your signature heart placed neatly in the corner. You stood and made your way over to her, when a flash of colour outside the train window caught your eye.
Another poster. But this one looked different.
As the train slowed, you could make out your sketchâthe one of the white-haired strangerâbut now surrounded by a border ofâŚwere those flowers?Â
You squinted, leaning closer as the train rolled to a stop. Then the doors opened, but instead of handing the student the sketch you had made of her, you stepped out onto the platform without thinking.
You moved toward the poster. It was definitely your drawing in the center, but someoneâhim, obviouslyâhad added to it. Were those real flowers? Pinned around the edges? You leaned in. Yes. Small blossoms. Some still fresh, others beginning to wilt.
And below, a new message:
TO THE ARTIST WHO DIDNâT COME TO DINNER
I understand. Perhaps too forward. My apologies. But Iâd still like to meet you.
Coffee instead? Your choice of time and place.
Same number below. No more posters after this, I promise.
Call: XXX-XXX-XXXX
You stared at the poster, not sure what to think of it. It was still... a lot. But the tone had changed. It didnât feel like pressure anymore. It felt like a peace offering.
âIs that about you?â
You jumped slightly and turned to find the schoolgirl from the train standing behind you. She was looking between you and the poster, eyebrows raised. You hadnât even noticed her step off.
âWhat? No, Iââ
âIt is, isnât it?â she said, pointing to the edge of her portrait still peeking from your sketchbook. âYouâre the subway artist! Iâve seen these posters for weeks. Everyone at schoolâs been talking about them.â Her eyes lit up. âBut itâs real! Itâs actually you!â
Your face went hot. âI just⌠draw people on my commute. Itâs not a big deal.â
âNot a big deal?â She looked at you like youâd just told her the earth was flat. âSomeone literally covered half the subway trying to find you. Thatâs so romantic.â She paused, glancing back at the poster. âThough I guess... it might feel a little intense if you donât know him.â
âExactly,â you said, a little too quickly, but relieved that someone finally understood. Not that you told anyone, anyway.
âBut now heâs apologizing and backing off. Thatâs actually kind of sweet, donât you think? Like he realized he overdid it.â Before you could respond, she suddenly gasped. âOh! Were you going to give me something?â She pointed to your sketchbook.
âIâyes, actually.â Youâd almost forgotten. You tore out the page with her portrait and handed it over. âI hope you donât mind.â
She took the drawing, her face bright. âThis is amazing! You made me look so... I donât know, determined? Like I actually understand what Iâm reading about.â She laughed. âThank you so much!â
A chime echoed through the stationâthe warning for the next train.
âThatâs my transfer,â she said and glanced at the poster one more time. âYou know, if I were you, Iâd call him. Not everyone gets a second chance at something interesting.â And with that, she turned and vanished into the crowd of boarding passengers.
You stood there for a moment longer, staring at the poster. At the flowers heâd carefully pinned around your sketch. It must have taken hours.Â
Your phone buzzed with a calendar reminder. Morning meeting in fifteen minutes. With one last glance at the poster, you turned and headed for the station exit.
Maybe the girl was right. Maybe there was something here worth exploring. Or maybe this was exactly how people ended up in true crime documentaries.Â
Either way, you had a decision to make.
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
For the next three days, the poster haunted you. Not in a scary way, but enough to slip under your skin and stay there.Â
You caught yourself absentmindedly sketching floral patterns during meetings, doodling petals in the margins of your planner, even on the back of your grocery list. His phone number was still saved in your contacts. You hadnât called it. Yet.
By Thursday afternoon, in the middle of yet another agonisingly boring meeting, you finally made your decision.Â
The moment your boss wrapped up, you grabbed your phone and slipped into the empty break room. Your heart thudded so hard it felt like it might knock your ribs loose. Before you could overthink it, you dialed the number.
It rang once. Thenâ
âHello?â
That voice. Deep. Warm. Curious. Instantly familiar.
âUm. Hi,â you said, suddenly questioning every life desicion that had led you to this moment. âThis is⌠well, I donât know if youâll remember, but I drew your portrait on the train a few weeks ago, andââ
âYou called.â He sounded genuinely relieved. âI was starting to think you werenât ever going to.â
âYeah, wellâŚâ You took a breath. âYou do realize those posters were kind of creepy, right?â
âI thought they were romantic?â
âFor someone I donât know, itâs more creepy than romantic. And also, what if I was already taken?â
âAre you?â
You went silent. Right. You probably shouldâve seen that one coming.
âIâm Satoru, by the way.â You could practically hear the smirk in his voice.
You gave him your name in return, nervously clicking your pen against the break room table.
He repeated it slowly, like he was trying how it sounded on his tongue, and that somehow sent a strange flutter through your stomach. Why did hearing him say your name suddenly make you so nervous? It was just a name. Your name. Youâd heard it a million times before.
But from him, it felt different. More intimate somehow. Ridiculous, you told yourself. You were overthinking it. Probably. Still... the little flutter lingered.
âListen,â you said, clearing your throat, trying to sound casual. âIâve got my lunch break in about an hour. If youâre free, maybe we could meet. Nothing fancyâjust coffee or something.â
âAn hour? Yes. Absolutely.â A pause. âWhere do you work? I can come to you.â
You hesitated, then figured it was harmless. It was a large and well known office building downtown, after all. Not exactly revealing your home address. âTakahashi Media Group. Midtown Tower, fourteenth floor.â
âPerfect. Iâll see you in an hour.â
The call ended, and you stared at your phone for a beat before heading back to your desk. You tried to focus on your emails, your task list, anythingâbut your eyes kept drifting to the clock.
It was just coffee, you reminded yourself. Just a casual meeting with the stranger from the train whoâd launched a city-wide poster campaign to find you.
 Totally normal.
Fifty-five minutes later, you were gathering your bag when a commotion near the reception area caught your attention. Moments later, your coworker Aki appeared beside your desk.
âHey, thereâs someone asking for you at the reception. And heâs... well, you should just come see.â
âSomeoneâs here for me?â you asked, frowning. âBut I was supposed to meetââ You stopped. âOh no.â
You hurried toward the reception area, Aki trailing close behind. As you rounded the corner, you saw a group of coworkers gathered near the glass doors, all pretending very badly not to be gawking at somethingâor better said, someone.
And there, standing right in the center of the chaos, was the handsome stranger form Line 4.
He was even more handsome than you remembered. Tall, effortlessly confident, and dressed in a perfectly tailored dark suit, with a blue tie that was the exact same shade as his eyes.
When he spotted you, his entire face lit up with a smile so dazzling it looked like it belonged in a toothpaste commercial. You saw your coworker Mei place a hand over her heart, and you couldâve sworn someone behind her whispered, âOh my god.â
âArtist!â he called, completely unaware of (or more likely, entirely unbothered by) the scene he was causing. âWow, youâre even prettier when youâre mortified.â
And then you saw the flowers.Â
Correction: you saw the flowers.
He was holding the most ridiculous bouquet youâd ever laid eyes on. A vibrant, overflowing explosion of violet, pink, and red, easily three dozen stems if not more. It was a lot. Even for him.
Every head in the lobby turned toward you.
Great. Just fucking great.
You walked over, ignoring the heat rising in your face and the whispers following behind you, wanting nothing more than to quickly escape the awkward scene. Reaching him, you grabbed his elbow and leaned in, voice low.
âYou really donât know how to be subtle, do you?â
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
Satoru had suggested a cafÊ not far from your office, and you followed him down the busy street, relieved to be away from the scene he had caused with nothing more than⌠his face.
People glanced at him as you walked, some doing double takes. He seemed completely unbothered by it. Perhaps heâs used to it. Being pretty comes with stares naturally, you assumed.
Maybe he was a model. Or a singer. Or both. And you were the only person in Tokyo who didnât recognize him and later it will be so awkward when paparazzi take photos of you holding hands on your way out and splash them across trashy magazines with some ridiculous headline andâ
Wait.
Holding hands?
Why were you even thinking about holding hands?
He could still be a stalker. A total weirdo. Aâ
You nearly tripped over someone weaving through the crowd, lost in your thoughts. Before you could catch yourself, Satoruâs hand landed gently on your elbow, steadying you as he pulled you closer to his side. Your arm brushed against his, and that brief contact sent a shiver down your spine.
Stupid, handsome and cute weirdo, for sure.
A few minutes later, you were seated in a quiet cafĂŠ, staring hard at a menu youâd already ordered from because pretending to study the drink list was easier than making direct eye contact with the man who was definitely watching you.
You could feel it. His gaze. Not bashful. Not subtle. Not even blinking, apparently.Â
Finally, you set the menu down. âYouâre staring.â
âI am,â he said, without a hint of shame. âItâs not every day I get to meet the artist whoâs been haunting my dreams for weeks.â
âHaunting your dreams, huh?â You glanced up and met those absurdly blue eyes. âYou know, you do sound very creepy sometimes.â
âDo I?â He tilted his head slightly. âIâll admit, I donât do this often.â
âWhat, stalk people? Or launch city-wide poster campaigns?â
He laughed. âBoth, I guess. That mightâve been a bit much. My colleagues say I have a tendency to go overboard once Iâve set my mind to something.â
âOh really?â
His smile widened. âOkay, fair. I deserved that. But in my defenseâit worked. Youâre here.â
âOut of curiosity more than anything,â you said, though you werenât entirely sure that was true. âSo now that youâve found me, what exactly was the plan? Beyond coffee, I mean?â
He paused, considering. âI must admit, I didnât think that far ahead. I just wanted to meet you. To thank you for seeing something in me worth capturing.â There was an unexpected softness to his voice. âAnd maybe to find out if the person behind the pencil is as interesting as her art suggests.â
âAnd? Verdict so far?â
âEven more interesting,â he said without hesitation. âBut I still have questions.â
âSuch as?â
âSuch as how long youâve been sketching strangers on trains. Why you give the drawings away instead of keeping them. Whether you draw for a living.â He leaned in slightly. âAnd if youâd ever let me see your sketchbook.â
Before you could answer, the barista approached with a tray.
âHereâs your cappuccino, miss. And Mr. Gojo, your usual.â She set down a borderline theatrical coffee drink in front of him, along with a small plate of pastries you definitely hadnât heard him order.
âChef sent these over for you both,â she added with a smile. âItâs that new recipe you suggested last week.â
âThank him for me, Hana,â Satoru said, offering her a warm smile that made her visibly melt. âThey look perfect.â
âOf course, Mr. Gojo. Anything else you need, just let me know.â She gave a polite bow before heading back.
You watched the entire exchange with growing suspicion. As soon as she was out of earshot, you leaned in.
âOkay. What was that about?â
âWhat do you mean?â
âThe chef takes your suggestions for pastries? And the barista knows your âusualâ, which looksâby the wayâlike something from the kidâs menu.â
Satoru looked mildly amused as he slid the plate towards you. âTry one. Theyâre amazing.â
You took one, but fixed him with a pointed look still. âStill not answering my question.â
âI come here a lot.â
âIâve been going to the same coffee shop near my apartment for three years,â you said, âand they still spell my name wrong on the cup.â
He laughedâa real one. It drew a few subtle glances from nearby tables.
âFair point.â
The pastry was every bit as good as he promisedâlight, buttery, with just the right amount of sweetness. But you werenât letting him off the hook.
âSo?â you asked, licking a crumb off your thumb. âWhy does everyone here treat you like youâre... I donât know. Someone important?â
âI suppose because I am someone importantâ
âWhat does that mean?â
âI figured Iâd bring this up eventually.â Satoru took a sip of his kidâs menu drink, then set the cup down. âI own Gojo Holdings.â
You stared at him. Blankly.
âOur headquarters occupies the top ten floors of this building,â he added, casually gesturing upward.
Suddenly, the name clicked into place. Gojo Holdingsâa name youâd seen before. On office towers, in business headlines, maybe even on the news channel. One of those massive investment and trading firms. It was the kind of company that quietly owned half the city without anyone really noticing.
âYouâre joking.â
âIâm not.â His tone was surprisingly straightforward. âIâm the CEO. Have been for about five years, since my father stepped down.â
âSo this buildingâ?â
âI donât own the whole tower. Just the top portion. Company offices. This cafĂŠâs independent, though we partner with them for corporate events.â
âWhich is why they know your usual.â
He gave a small shrug. âPerks of a eating here often.â
âSo when you were on that trainâŚâ
âI was just commuting. Like anyone else.â He sipped his coffee, completely at ease. âTraffic sucks. Trains are faster.â
âA practical billionaire. How novel.â
âCEO. Not a billionare,â he corrected. âWellâtechnicallyââ
âNot helping your case,â you cut in, and to his credit, he actually looked sheepish.
âSo thatâs how you managed to plaster half the city with posters.â You leaned back, studying him again. âMost people wouldâve just... posted something online.â
âI donât do things halfway,â he said, not even pretending to apologize. âBesides, I donât have social media. Too messy in my position.â
You took a long sip of your cappuccino, buying yourself a moment. Then you asked the question that had been quietly building in the back of your mind.
âSo what exactly does the CEO of a major trading company want with a graphic designer who sketches strangers on the subway?â
âThe same thing I wanted before you knew any of this. Get to know you.â
You tilted your head, unsure whether to believe him. He mustâve sensed your hesitation.Â
âOkay, listen,â he said, leaning forward. âIâve been renovating the executive floor of our headquarters and thereâs this white wall in my office. Itâs been empty for months because nothing felt right for itââ
âYou want to commission me?â You blinked, more confused than ever. âFor your office?â
âYeah. Actually, for the whole floor. A series of pieces,â he said. âNot landmarks or cityscapesâeveryone does that. I want your version. The people. The soul of each place. Like the sketch you gave me.â
âSo all thisâthe posters, the dinner invitation, the whole subway artist manhuntâwas for a commission?â
Something flickered in his expression. Not quite hurt, but close.
âNo,â he said after a second. âYeah. I meanââ He sighed. âDoes it sound that stupid?â
âI donât know. Itâs... unexpected. Thatâs all.â
âIs that a yes?â
You took another sip of your cappuccino, more for the excuse to think than anything else. âItâs an âIâm thinking about it.ââ
âPerfect,â he said, pulling out a business card of his and sliding it across the table. âNo pressure. No expectations. If you're interested, call me.â
You turned the card in your fingers, still watching him. âHow do you even know I draw anythingâbeside subway sketches, that is? I never told you.â
He raised an eyebrow, like he couldnât quite believe you said it yourself. âYou donât?â
Stupid, handsome man. âIÂ hate you.â
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
Back at your desk, you twirled Satoruâs business card between your fingers, trying to make sense of it all. Was he being genuine? Or was he making fun of you?Â
You glanced at the flowers heâd gifted youâstill sitting in the large glass vase Mei had found in the office kitchen. They were slightly too vibrant, slightly too much, still too beautiful to ignore. No one brought those kinds of flowers as a joke. Right? And yet, the absurdity of it all made you question even that.Â
You slipped the card into your desk drawer and turned your attention to the ad campaign mockups waiting on your screen. But your focus faltered. Your mind kept drifting back to blue eyes, white hair, and the warmth in his voice when he said your name.
Aki appeared at your desk not long after, not even trying to hide her curiosity. You offered her the bare minimum. Just someone whose portrait youâd sketched on the train. Nothing serious. When she pressed further, you sighed and handed over his business card.
Her reaction was immediate. âGojo Holdings? That Gojo?â
You nodded, reluctantly.
âAnd he wants to commission you? For art? In his office?â
âHe mentioned it,â you said, already regretting sharing anything.
She didnât miss the nuance. âOh. He mentioned it. But also stared at you like you hung the moon?â
Your cheeks warmed. She grinned.
That evening, you moved the card from your desk drawer to your wallet, telling yourself itâs just in case you decide to take the commission. Nothing more.Â
The rational part of your brain knew this entire situation had âbad ideaâ written all over itâin flashing neon, no less. But the less rational part of your brain kept remembering how he looked at your sketch as if it were something precious. Not just charcoal on paper.
Days passed. Then weeks.
You kept up your morning ritualâtrain sketches, quiet observation, the meditative act of putting pencil to paper. But now, each time you boarded, your eyes scanned the car, quietly wishing to see him again. He never appeared.
The business card moved againâfrom your wallet to your bedside table, then tucked into your sketchbook, then back to your wallet. You drafted emails. Professional, polite. None of them made it past your drafts folder.
And then, lifeâas it so often doesâmade the decision for you.
It started with your car being a bit bumpy, then a strange rattle under the hood. And finally, smoke. The repair bill was roughly equivalent to two monthsâ rent.
That night, you sat at your kitchen table, staring at your bank account and mentally rearranging numbers that didnât cover the bill no matter what you tried. Between rent, old student loans, and the usual cost of just existing, you didnât have a cushion big enough to absorb the hit and your parents were still helping your younger sibling through college. Credit cards would only delay the problem.
Your gaze drifted to the business card sitting on the counter where youâd left it earlier. A commission from Gojo Holdings would cover surely more than the car repairs. And then some.
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
âThis entire hallway is yours to reimagine,â Satoru said, gesturing with a casual sweep of his arm. You trailed a few steps behind, sketchbook in hand, scribbling notes as he pointed at one blank wall after another. âBoardroom entrances, reception, executive officesâthe whole floor could use your touch.â
The headquarters of Gojo Holdings was exactly what youâd imagined. Sleek, modern, almost intimidating. Walls of glass divided up the offices, giving the illusion of privacy without actually offering much of it. Matte blacks, brushed steel, deep grays, and just enough warm wood or marble veining to say âtastefulâ without inviting any real comfort. But maybe that was the point.
Offices like this werenât meant to feel cozy. In these rooms, decisions were made that shifted markets. Billions moved with a gesture. A signature. A nod. And somewhere at the center of it all was Satoru Gojo, walking through it like he was on his way to pick up coffee at the mall.
âHow many pieces are we talking about?â you asked, already measuring the length of yet another white wall in your mind.
âHowever many feels right.â He glanced over his shoulder just in time to catch your raised brow. âWhat? I mean it.â
âYou know, most clients have a vision board. Timelines. Color codes. Budgets. A whole approval chain.â
âIâm not most clients.â
âClearly.â
He continued the tour, leading you through a maze of meeting rooms and long corridors, while you took notes in your sketchbookâdimensions, how the light shifted through the glass and how certain walls caught the sun.Â
You paused often to sketch rough layouts or mark potential placements, all while trying to ignore the way Satoru was watching you more than the rooms.
âAnd this,â Satoru said, stopping in front of a pair of sleek double doors, âis my office.â
His office was hugeâat least four times the size of your apartmentâwith windows stretching from floor to ceiling, offering a stunning view of the Tokyo skyline. Gentle afternoon sunlight streamed in, causing everything to shimmer softly, as if in a dream.
âItâsâŚâ you hesitated, searching for a word that wouldnât stroke his ego, ââŚadequate.â
Satoru burst out laughing. âAdequate? That might be the first time anyoneâs used that word to describe my office.â
âIâm sure people usually fall over themselves with compliments.â You moved towards the windows. âI thought Iâd try something different.â
âAnd that,â he said, following with hands tucked casually in his pockets, âis exactly why I hired you.â
âBecause I donât stroke your ego?â
âBecause youâre straight forward. I like that.â
Something in his tone made you glance up at him, but his expression was unreadable as he gazed out at the city below.
âThat wall there,â he continued, pointing to the large empty space behind his desk, âis where I originally thought your work would go. But then I thought, why not the whole floor?â
You walked his office slowly, taking in the space, the light, the simplicity. âItâs quite the blank canvas.â
âIâve been told my style is too minimalist.â
âBy who? The interior design magazine that did a feature on your last penthouse?â
His eyes widened a little before crinkling at the corners. âYou Googled me.â
âBasic research before meeting a new client,â you said, but your cheeks, of course, betrayed you.
âMmhmm.â He didnât look convinced. âCome here. I want to show you something.â
You approached the window where he stood.
âSee that building there?â He pointed toward the horizon. âThe one with the copper coloured roof?â
You squinted, seeing hundreds of buildings but not sure which one he meant. âNot reallyâŚâ
âMay I?â
Before you could fully register the question, he was behind you, one hand grazing your shoulder, the other gently tilting your chin to guide your gaze. His warmth at your back made your breath hitch.
âThere,â he said, his voice brushing your ear. âBetween those two towers. Thatâs where I first saw your work. A small gallery in Ginza. Community showcase. Your cityscape series.â
Your pulse stumbled. âYou knew? All this time?â
âKind of, yeah,â he admitted, still close enough that you could feel the quiet rumble of his words. âIâd actually thought about commissioning you back thenâat the gallery. But things got busy, and I let it go. When I saw your sketch on the train, I recognized it immediately and it felt like⌠I donât know. A sign. Like the universe was giving me a second chance.â
âHow poetic.â You turned slightly, realizing his face was only inches from yours. âWhy didnât you just ask the gallery for my contact info? Wouldâve saved you a lot of time. And posters.â
His lips curved into that maddening smile. âWhereâs the fun in that?â
âYouâre so weird.â
âSays the woman who stalks stranger on the train and draws them.â
âYouâre the stalker here.â
âSo, what do you think?â He stepped back and leaned casually against his desk. âCan you handle transforming the most boring executive floor in Tokyo?â
âLetâs talk numbers first.â
âI was thinking something in the range of two million yen for the full project,â he replied, watching you carefully.
You nearly choked. That was more than generousâenough to fix your car, pay off a good chunk of your student loans, maybe even take a breath for once. But something in his easy confidence made you want to test his limits.
âFour million,â you said, eyes steady. Bold.
His brows lifted. âThatâs quite a jump.â
âIâm quite an artist.â
âThatâs already well aboveââ
You tilted your head, pretending to reconsider. âHmm. So, if you donât want meâŚâ
You let the words hang as you casually closed your sketchbook and took a slow step backward, turning like you were ready to walk out. âI get it. Itâs a big commitment. Iâm sure someone else can paint your sterile corporate walls.â
Satoru blinked. âWaitââ
You took another step.
âThree million,â he said. âFinal offer.â
âDeal,â you replied, quick before he could change his mind. âBut I have conditions. I want full creative freedom.â
âNaturally.â He pushed off the desk and extended his hand. âThree million yen, complete creative freedom, and dinner.â
Your hand froze halfway to his. âDinner?â
âJust a simple business dinner,â he said innocently. âTo go over project details.â
âWe can go over those in an email.â
âSome things are better discussed in person. Over good food. And maybe a glass of wine.â
You crossed your arms. âThat sounds suspiciously like a date.â
âOnly if you want it to be,â he said, mirroring your stance.
âI donât.â
âThen itâs not.â
You narrowed your eyes. âFine. One business dinner.â
âAt Narisawa,â he added casually. âPrivate dining room, excellent view.â
âNarisawa? Thatâs a two month waiting list.â
âNot for everyone.â
âYouâre really trying to blur the lines between business and private, arenât you?â
âIâm merely suggesting a restaurant worthy of an three million yen commission.â
âMcDonaldâs exists.â
âIâm not taking you to McDonaldâs.â
âI thought I had creative control in this partnership.â
âOver the art,â he said. âDining arrangements fall under my jurisdiction.â
You gave him a look. âIâm starting to think this dinner is more important to you than the actual commission.â
âWhat would give you that impression?â
âMaybe because youâre pushing harder for this dinner than you did for the art.â
âI didnât need to push for the art. You were already sold.â
âPresumptuous.â
âAm I wrong?â
You sighed, knowing you were fighting a losing battle. âOne dinner. No private roomâthatâs weird. Main restaurant only. And Iâm paying for myself.â
âMain restaurantâs fine,â he conceded, far too agreeable. âBut Iâm paying. Consider it a signing bonus.â
âThatâs not how signing bonuses work.â
âIt is at my company.â
âFine. But this changes nothing. Itâs strictly professional.â
âOf course,â he said. âJust two colleagues having a quiet eight course meal at one of Tokyoâs finest restaurants. Completely professional.â
âYouâre impossible.â
âAnd yet, here you are, agreeing to both the commission and dinner.â
You extended your hand to finally seal the deal. âThree million yen, full creative control, and oneâsingular, not two, only oneâbusiness dinner.â
He took your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles, and you hated how weak that made your knees feel.
âIf you say so,â he said.
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
Over the next two weeks, Gojo Holdings basically became your second home. You spent hours wandering the halls, filling your sketchbook with rough layouts and scribbled notes, snapping photos of how the light shifted from morning to dusk.Â
The project had you more energized than anything youâd worked on in years. Full creative freedom and a proper budget? That almost never happened. You didnât want to waste it.
What you hadnât expected was how often youâd see Satoru, though. Despite being constantly pulled into meetings and conference calls, you know, running a whole financial empire and all that, he somehow always knew when you were in the building.
Sometimes youâd catch glimpses of him through the glass walls of the conference rooms, commanding attention with a casual confidence that was almost mesmerizing to watch. Heâd be deep in conversation with some serious looking executives, completely in his element, and then, as if he could sense your gaze, his eyes would find yours. A subtle wink or the ghost of a smile just for you, and suddenly your stomach would do that stupid fluttering thing again.
Other times, heâd just⌠appear. Out of nowhere. Usually while you were measuring a wall or standing on your tiptoes trying to track the afternoon shadows.
âNeed a hand?â heâd ask, already handing you a coffee like he knew you forgot to eat again and make some terrible joke about âhangingâ your work. (âGet it? Because theyâll be hanging on the wall?â âYes, Satoru, I get it. Itâs still not funny.â âYou smiled though.â)
Heâd carve out little bits of timeâten minutes here, twenty thereâdespite his full schedule. Sometimes heâd walk with you through the space, telling stories about silly board meetings. Seriously, who wouldâve thought that a company handling millions in the stock market could be run like a sitcom half the time?Â
Other times, heâd just sit nearby while you sketched, sipping his coffee in silence and letting you work. Strangely enough, his presence was never distracting. If anything, it felt⌠comfortable. Good, even.
And occasionally, heâd say something that surprised you. A thought about layout. A comment about color balance. Something you didnât expect from a guy who usually talked in numbers and strategies.
âShouldnât you be doing CEO things instead of analyzing my color palette?â youâd ask.
âI could, but Iâve already yelled at three departments today. Iâm ahead of schedule,â heâd reply with a grin.
And the strangest part wasnât how much he was around. It was how quickly you got used to it. And how weirdly empty the rooms felt when he wasnât there.
Your concept came together almost on its own. A series about Tokyo told through its people. Not neon signs or city skylines, more salarymen passed out on the train, old women gossiping in corner markets, teenagers packed into ramen shops after school. Quiet, ordinary moments that felt honest. Human.
Your apartment turned chaotic. Canvases leaned against furniture, reference photos were spread across every flat surface, and your sketches were taped to the windows just to see how they looked in different light. You worked late most nights, completely losing track of time until your stomach reminded you that you hadnât eaten anything except an energy drink and half a protein bar.
Youâd send status updates to Satoru sometimes. Professionally, mostly.
The concept boards are coming along well. Iâll have something concrete to show you by next week. â You
His replies, however, did not share your sense of professional distance:
Iâm sure theyâre amazing, but Iâd rather see the artist than the art. When are you letting me buy you dinner? â SG
You rolled your eyes at his persistence, but you couldnât help the small smile tugging at your lips.
The art comes before the artist. Patience, Mr. Gojo. â You
Mr. Gojo was my father. Iâm Satoru to you, remember? And patience has never been my strong suit. â SG
The exchanges continued like thisâyou sending actual work updates, him responding with barely veiled attempts to see you again. It was absurd. Unprofessional. And yet⌠you looked forward to his replies more than you cared to admit.
Three weeks in, his patience seemed to officially ran out:
Dinner. This Friday. 8 PM. Iâve already made reservations at Narisawa. Unless youâre planning to work through the weekend again? â SG
You stared at the message for a long moment before typing back:
Iâm in the middle of the sixth canvas. Friday wonât work. â You
His response came almost immediately:
Art can wait. Food canât. The reservation is at 8. â SG
You scoffed.
I donât recall agreeing to this Friday. Reschedule? â You
Ten minutes passed with no response. You had just returned to your canvas when your phone rang. His name lit up the screen.
âHello?â
âI donât accept a no.â
âThat sounds problematic.â
He laughed. âOnly when it comes to dinner invitations. Specifically ones Iâve been waiting weeks for.â
âIâm covered in paint and havenât slept properly in days.â
âYou could show up in pajamas and still be the most interesting person in the room.â
âFlattery wonât work.â
âYouâre an awful liar, you know that? Your voice just did that thing it does when youâre trying not to smile.â
Your traitor lips curved anyway. âYou canât possibly know that over the phone.â
âBut Iâm right, arenât I?â
You sighed and set your brush down. âWhy are you so persistent about this dinner?â
âBecause I want to see you,â he said simply. âBecause youâve been painting pieces for my walls and I havenât even seen your progress. Because maybe I miss the way you look at me like youâre immune to my charm.â
âI could send photos of the work.â
âOr,â he said, âyou could wear something you like, let me feed you something expensive, and tell me about your process in person.â
âYou wonât let me out of this, will you?â
âNo.â
You sighed. âFine. But Iâm paying for myself.â
âWeâll discuss that over appetizers.â
âThereâs nothing to discuss.â
âFriday at 8,â he said, ignoring your protest. âIâll pick you up.â
âI can take the train.â
âHumor me.â
You could practically hear the smile in his voice.
âHas anyone ever told you youâre impossible?â
âYou. Repeatedly. Itâs part of our thing.â
âWe donât have a thing.â
âYet,â he added. And before you could argue, âIâll see you Friday. Wear something that makes you happy.â
After the call ended, you stared at your phone for a few moments longer, until the screen turned black.
Somehow, despite your best efforts and at least three attempts to ghost him, you had a dinner on Friday night. Not a date, you told yourself. A business dinner. With a man who was way too attractive, way too confident, and had launched an entire campaign just to commission you. Totally normal.
You turned back to your canvas and tried to focus, but the flutter in your stomach wouldnât go away.
It was just dinner. In a restaurant. With candlelight and probably a lot of eye contact. Nothing more.
Still, as you painted into the night, you caught yourself wondering what you might wear that would make you feel good. And maybeâjust maybeâmake him look at you the way he had in his office, when he stood so close you could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin.
Strictly professional, you reminded yourself.
Even you didnât believe it anymore.
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
Friday evening arrived with the kind of weird, way too warm weather that made you rethink your outfit three times before settling on something that felt like youâcomfortable but still nice enough for... whatever game Satoru might be playing.
You were fixing your lipstick when your phone buzzed.
Downstairs. Take your time. â SG
You walked over to the window for a quick glance outsideâand there he was.
Satoru was leaning against the passenger side of a sleek black car, arms crossed, dressed in a dark suit that looked almost identical to the one heâd worn the day you first saw him on Line 4. As if he could feel your gaze, he looked up. And saw you.Â
No wave, no winkâjust a slow, knowing smile spread across his lips.
You blinked and stepped back from the window, heart fluttering in a strange way it hadnât in a long time. Who even was this man? And how had he managed to get under your skin so completely, so quickly? You were dressing up, wearing lipstick, checking the window like some high school crush was picking you up for prom.
It was ridiculous. Stupid, even.
You grabbed your bag, took a breath, and headed downstairs before your brain had time to start asking too many questions.
He was still just a client. A persistent, maddeningly handsome client.
When you stepped out, he was still leaning against the passenger side door and just for a moment, he froze. No smirk. No teasing remark. Nothing prepared. His usual cool confidence seemed to falter as his eyes swept over you slowly and deliberately, like he wasnât quite sure he was seeing you right.
âWow,â he said quietly, straightening up a little and running a hand through his hair before letting out a breath. âYou lookâŚâ He actually stopped to find the wordâthat alone felt suspicious. ââŚreally beautiful.â
âStop that.â
âStop what? Being honest? Sorry, not tonight.â
Before you could say anything else, he was already opening the car door for you, one hand briefly touching the small of your back as you slid inside. Not in a sleazy way. More like it came naturally to him. Which made you almost forget to be annoyed by his presumption.
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
Narisawa was exactly what you expected and somehow even moreâthe kind of place where the lighting was soft without being dim, where the air smelled faintly of thyme and something far more expensive, and where every detail felt carefully chosen to whisper, âyou absolutely cannot afford thisâ.
Satoru had, of course, managed to get a table by the window, offering a view of the skyline that felt almost unreal. It was the kind of view that made the whole night feel like it belonged in a movie and made you almost forget this was technically a business dinner.
Conversation came easier than youâd expected. Over the first few coursesâeach one more art piece than meal, which made you feel slightly guilty about ruining it by eating it (I mean, who does that? Making such pretty food just for it to end up in a stomach?)âyou talked about everything from your work as a designer and your favourite bands, to his tragic inability to make anything more complicated than instant noodles, and how he once almost made it into the national basketball team.
But what surprised you most was the way he asked about your art. He had a way of asking about that didnât feel performative or polite. He was actually listening, not just waiting for his turn to talk.
âSo, the third piece,â he said, slicing into what was probably the most perfectly cooked fish youâd ever tasted. âThe one with the commutersâhow do you get that sense of movement in a still frame?â
You paused. âYouâve been paying attention.â
âI told youâIâm interested in your process.â
âMost clients only ask when itâll be done and how much itâll cost.â
He smiled, lifting his wine glass. âIâm not most clients,â he said, echoing what heâd told you that first day at his headquarters.
For the next twenty minutes, you talked shop. Layering techniques, color and motion, how to evoke emotion without showing too much. He asked questions that actually made you thinkâsharp, specific ones that showed he wasnât just nodding along to be polite. He was genuinely interested.
At some point, somewhere between your third course and your second glass of wine, you caught yourself relaxing. Laughing. Enjoying it. And then you paused and set your glass down.
âCan I ask you something?â you said, unsure why the question suddenly felt heavier than it should.
âAnything.â
âYou really went through all thisâthe car, this restaurant, the whole dramatic dinnerâjust to talk about brushwork and layering techniques?â
He leaned back in his chair, fingers resting lightly against his glass as he searched for the right words. âI donât know,â he said finally. âMaybe I just like you.â
âYou like me?â you echoed, unsure if it was a question or a warning.
âIs that so hard to believe?â
âKind of, yeah.â You fidgeted with your napkin. âI mean, you could be having dinner with a dozen other people tonight. Models. Actresses. CEOsâ daughters. People who donât get paint on their shoes and give you a hard time.â
âMaybe thatâs exactly why.â
Something shifted between you at his words. Like someone had turned the volume down on the room so you could hear each other better. You took a slow sip of wine, partly to buy time, partly to keep your expression neutral as you studied him across the table.
âSo, youâre single then?â you asked. âUnless your girlfriendâs very cool with you taking strangers to fancy dinners.â
Satoru raised an eyebrow. âAre you asking if I have a girlfriend?â
âIâm asking if I should expect an angry phone call later.â
He laughed. âNo angry phone calls. And yeahâIâm single.â
âShocking,â you said. âA successful and attractive CEO who canât keep a girlfriend? Whatâs the catch?â
âMaybe Iâm just picky.â
âOr maybe youâre married to your work,â you teased. âLet me guessâcanceled dates for board meetings, forgotten anniversaries because of some deadline?â
âThatâsâŚâ He paused, glancing down on his glass for a moment. âActually, my last girlfriend cheated on me.â
Your smile slipped. âOh. I didnât mean toââ
âDonât be sorry. She wasnât the right one. If she had been, maybe she wouldâve understood that building something that lasts takes time. And attention.â
âHow long ago was that?â
âAbout two years.â He reached for his wine, swirling it once before taking a sip. âHavenât really dated since then.â
âSo, casual things?â
âMore like burying myself in work. Honestly, the closest thing Iâve had to female company lately is my secretary. And she has this strangely strict voice that sounds exactly like my mother when sheâs disappointed.â
You laughed, sharp and sudden, covering your mouth with your hand. It wasnât even that funny, not really. But the way heâd said itâso dry, and slightly frightenedâand the face he made, like a kid whoâd just been scolded for wearing the wrong socks to a school recital, caught you completely off guard.
For a moment, he didnât look like the CEO of a massive company or the man who moved literal billions without blinking. He looked boyish. Almost shy. Like he was letting you peek at something most people didnât get to see. And somehow, that made it even funnier.
You tried to compose yourself, but your shoulders were still shaking as you dabbed at the corners of your eyes. âIâm sorry.â
He smiled as he watched you try to hold in your laughter. âI like when you laugh like that.â
âLike what?â
âLike youâre not thinking about how you look doing it.â
Something in the way he said it that made the humor settle into something softer, something that hangs in the air a little too long. Like neither of you wanted to be the one to move past it first.
âWell,â you said, trying to ignore the way your pulse had picked up, âyour secretary sounds scary. I can see why youâd rather have dinner with me.â
âAmong other reasons.â
Heat crept up your neck before you could stop it. You picked up your glass, needing the excuse to look away for a second. âAre you always this charming?â you asked, trying to sound casual, but your voice came out a little softer than intended.
âIâm trying,â he said. âWith you.â
He said it like it wasnât heavy at all. But it was. And you could feel it settle in your chest.
âSatoruâŚâ you started, not even sure what was going to follow. But then the waiter showed up and set down the next course with a brief description you didnât really hear because you only had eyes for him.
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
Dinner had stretched well past ten, neither of you making any real effort to end the night. So when Satoru suggested a walk instead of heading straight to the car, you said yes.
The night had cooled off more than you expected, and you pulled your jacket a little tighter around your shoulders as the two of you wandered through the quiet streets near the restaurant. It had rained earlier, leaving the pavement slick and glistening under the streetlights. At one point, a small puddle stretched across the sidewalk, and before you could react, Satoru just scooped you up without a word and carried you over it like it was the most natural thing in the world.Â
Maybe it was the warmth the wine had left in your chest, or maybe it was just the way his arms felt around you, steady and sure, but you let yourself lean a little closer against him before he set you down again on the other side.Â
âThat was unnecessary,â you said, trying to sound annoyed, though you didnât make much effort to slip out of his arms.
âMaybe,â he replied with a grin, âbut Iâve always wanted an excuse to do that.â
It felt goodâbeing with him felt really good. The kind of good that made you forget to guard yourself. The kind that crept in quietly and made you wonder what it would be like to have more nights just like this.
Youâd just rounded a corner into a small park when you heard soft violin music drifting through the air. You slowed, then stopped entirely. Just ahead, a street musician stood under the warm glow of a streetlamp, playing something slow and aching and beautiful.
You stood still and listened for a moment, a smal smile tugigng at your lips.Â
âDance with me,â Satoru said.
You turned to him. âWhat? No.â
âWhy not?â He held out a hand.
You hesitated and looked around for a second.Â
âYou know, I wonât take ânoâ for an answer.â
You surrendered and took his hand. âThis is so stupid.â
He smiled, soft and sincere, and stepped in close. One hand found your waist, the other guiding yours up between you. His touch was warm, steady. Familiar in a way it shouldnât be.
âYou know,â you began, as he gently started to move. Not quite dancing, more like remembering how. âI usually donât do this with clients.â
âFigures. I always suspected I was your favourite.â
âI wouldnât say that,â you teased. âThat other client of mine, a guy from an accounting firm is pretty smooth too.â
âOh really? Did he buy you dinner at Narisawa and slow dance with you in the park?â
âNot yet.â
âI like when you try to mess with me.â
âIâm not trying. You just make it easy.â
He spun you gently, then pulled you back in, your hand pressed lightly to his chest. You could feel his heartbeat through the fabric of his dress shirtâtoo fast, like yours.
A few people passed, smiling without staring. It didnât matter. You were too aware of his breath near your cheek, the weight of his palm at your back, the quiet between songs that didnât feel like silence at all.
âYouâre good at this,â you said softly.
âI only dance with people who make it easy.â
âThat line would work better if your hands werenât shaking a little.â
He leaned in closer, his breath gazing your ear. âSo are yours.â
You swallowed, the closeness of him settling into your skin. You didnât answer. Just let him hold you for a few more seconds, rain beginning to fall in light taps across your shoulders, your hair. And then he dipped you back gently, one hand firm behind you.
âStill think itâs stupid?â he asked.
Your breath caught as you stared up into those impossibly blue eyes, your back arching as he supported your weight effortlessly. The rest of the world faded away until there was nothing but him and the violin and the electric space between you.
âYes,â you whispered. âAbsolutely.â
âBut?â
You hesitated, then let your fingers curl lightly around the front of his jacket. âBut I donât want it to stop.â
Thatâs when you felt the first raindrop hit your cheek.
His gaze flickered down to the raindrop on your skin, how it slowly run down, and for a second you could have sworn he looked at you lips. And maybe, just maybe you wished heâd kissed you but then the rain came heavier.
âThatâs our cue.â But he didnât move right away. His eyes stayed on you.Â
Finally, he lifted you back up, drawing you close against his chest. You were both breathing hard, though youâd barely been moving. The rain was falling more steadily now, and you could see Satoruâs white hair beginning to darken with moisture.
âHome?â he asked, voice rougher now, like he wasnât quite ready for the answer either.
You nodded, not trusting yourself to say anything without giving too much away. Because at some point, this had stopped feeling like dinner with a client. You werenât sure when it changedâonly that it had. And now everything felt a little too close, a little too important.
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
When the car pulled up to your building, he was out and opening your door before you could reach for the handle yourself. Of course he was. Always one step ahead, always just⌠thoughtful in that maddening, disarming way.
âThank you,â you said, stepping out into the quiet night.
âMy pleasure.âÂ
The air smelled like wet pavement and something faintly floral from someoneâs balcony. He walked you to your door, hands tucked into his pockets, eyes flicking toward the sky like he wasnât quite ready to say goodnight either.Â
You fumbled with your keys for a moment, buying time before the inevitable goodbye. The silence stretched, not tense, but full. Full of everything that had happened and everything that hadnât.
When you finally turned to him, he was closer than youâd expected, close enough that you could see the way his white hair had dried in soft waves from the rain. He smelled faintly of wine and cedar and like someone you could spend the rest of your life with.
âI had a really good time tonight,â you said. âThank you. For the dinner, the dancing, the completely unnecessary puddle rescueâŚâ
He smiled, a little crooked, a little tired. âEven the terrible jokes?â
âEspecially the terrible jokes. Though the stories of your secretary will probably haunt me tonight.â
âOh, she haunts everyone,â he said. âSheâs very scary.â
You both laughed, but the sound died down fast, like the moment had suddenly remembered it was trying to mean something else. His gaze dropped, if only for the briefest moment, to your lips. Your heart hammered against your ribs as you waited, hoping, expectingâ
âI should let you get some sleep,â he said. But instead of stepping back, he stepped closer.
Your breath caught as his hand roseâslow, deliberateâcoming to rest gently at the back of your head. But instead of the dreamy kiss youâd hoped for, he kissed your forehead. Not your mouth. Not even your cheek. Your forehead.
The kiss was soft, warmâoverflowing with care. But not the kind youâd been waiting for. It was tender, almost reverent, and somehow, it left you feeling strangely hollow.
âSleep well,â he murmured against your skin before pulling back. And then he turnedâjust like thatâand walked back to the car. No glance over his shoulder. No hesitation. No second thought.
Inside your apartment, you leaned against the closed door, jacket still damp against your shoulders. You touched your forehead, where his lips had been. It had been sweet. Really, it had. Just⌠not what youâd expected. Not what youâd wanted.
You let your head fall back against the door with a soft thud. Why hadnât he kissed you? Why would he do all that just to not... kiss you?
Youâd been so sure. The way heâd looked at you over dinner. The way heâd held you during that ridiculous dance. The way it had all felt like a slow build to something. And you wanted that something.
But maybe that was the problem. Maybe you were just another commission to him after all, something to be handled with care but ultimately kept at armâs length.
It shouldnât have stung the way it did. But it did.
More than you cared to admit.
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
Monday morning arrived under a gray drizzle that matched your mood a little too perfectly. You stepped into a puddle on the way out, got your umbrella stuck in a doorway because youâd forgotten it was open, and then someone on the subway sneezed directly in your direction. It was that kind of morning.
Youâd spent the entire weekend replaying Friday night over in your headâevery glance, every word, every fleeting gestureâuntil youâd nearly driven yourself mad with questions that had no answers.
And Aki was absolutely no help. She was already perched on your desk when you walked in, your usual coffee in one hand and dark circles under your eyes doing all the talking.
âSoooo⌠how was your fancy dinner?â
âIt was fine,â you said, powering up your computer.
âFine?â Mei materialized beside her like sheâd been lying in wait for gossip. âThatâs it? You go to Narisawa with the hottest CEO in Tokyo and all we get is fine?â
âIt was a business dinner. We discussed the commission.â
âWhat kind of man gets you flowers that pretty just to talk about business?â
âA man who takes his commission very seriously.â
You could feel their stares burning into the side of your head.
âCome on,â Mei pressed. âDid he kiss you? He kissed you, didnât he? I can tell by your face.â
âHe didnât kiss me.â
âAh,â Aki said, with that stupid satisfaction of someone whoâd just solved a puzzle. âSo you wanted him to.â
You groaned and buried your face in your hands. âCan we please not?â
But of course, they were relentless, firing question after question at you about what you wore, what you ate, what he said, if there was a âvibeââuntil you were actually grateful for that boring meeting before lunch with a client who always rejected your ideas, made you change them back and forth a dozen times, and inevitably circled back to the original design. As frustrating as that was, it still didnât compare to what was coming later.
You had a meeting with Satoru after work to talk about delivery logisticsâwhen to bring the artwork, how many pieces were ready. The commission was nearly complete, and a few canvases could be brought to his office already. But the thought of standing across from him again, making small talk about framing and placement, felt unbearable.
Not to mention figuring out how to get those giant canvases out of your apartment, which was now packed to the walls with drying paint, sketches, and so many drop cloths youâd basically lost your kitchen to the cause.
For weeks, this commission had felt like the best thing to happen to your career. But now, standing outside the gleaming tower that housed his office, you werenât sure what to think anymore.
Was this just business to him? Had you imagined the connection, the tension, the way he looked at you like you were someone special? Maybe successful men like Satoru Gojo were just naturally charming, and youâd been naive enough to think it meant something more.
You straightened your shoulders and walked into the building. If he wanted professional, he could have professional. You had a job to do, no matter what kind of game your heart thought it was playing.
You raised your hand to knock on his office doorâthough really, there was no need. The walls were glass, and heâd already spotted you the second you moved.Â
He was on the phone, his shoulder pinning it in place as he typed something on the laptop in front of him. With a slight nod of his head, he gestured for you to come in. And there it was againâthat maddening smile. The one that made it look like his whole face lit up just from seeing you.
You stepped inside, lingering uncertainly near the door. He was still deep in conversation, something about a company merger and someone named Gerald being an absolut idiot, and how he might as well handle it himself. Always busy, it seemed.Â
Satoru shifted the phone slightly and glanced at you. âHey, you want coffee?â
You nodded and then he was back to his call. You wandered a little further into his office, taking in the space. It was always so tidy which felt strangely at odds with how chaotic his work seemed to be. You drifted toward the tall windows and looked down at the city below. In the gentle afternoon sun, people were rushing through the cityâcommuters heading home, students in uniform, ordinary lives unfolding far beneath you.
Satoru stood and walked over to you. He was closeâWhy would he come so close?âand placed a hand gently at your waist, a brief touch that lingered just long enough to make your breath catch. He pressed the phone to his chest for a moment.Â
âSorry for the wait,â he said, voice low. âIâm nearly done.âÂ
And then he was gone, stepping out of the office and leaving you reeling.
When he returned two minutes later, he had two mugs in one hand and a canned coffee tucked under his arm, balancing it all as he kicked open the door with his foot. Phone was still pressed between his shoulder and ear. He poured two cups and handed you a one, flashing you that easy smile of his.
You took a seat on the couch, sipping carefully and doing your best not to make eye contact. But you were sure heâd already noticed the flush creeping into your cheeks.
Finally, he hung up and let out a long sigh.Â
âIâm so sorry. Thereâs this big merger weâre handling, and the guy in charge is like the biggest idiot Iâve ever met.â
âItâs okay.â
He ran a hand through his hair, sending it falling messily back over his forehead.
âNo, itâs not. I donât want to keep you waiting.â
âI bet that just comes naturally with being important.â
âIâm not that important,â he replied with a grin.
âThe whole tower has your name on it. Iâd say that qualifies.â
âWhatâs more important right now,â he said, standing and walking over to you, âis you.â He took the seat across from you. âSo⌠how was your day? Treat you well?â
Why was he asking about your day now? What kind of game was he playing?
âIt was fine. Mondayâs not exactly my favorite.â
âDonât get me started.â He laughed. âI hope at least your meeting went well?â
You blinked. He remembers? Youâd mentioned it briefly during dinner.
âOh, uh⌠yeah. It went okay,â you said. âBut letâs talk about the commission. Thatâs why Iâm here, right?â
He frowned, and there was a moment of silence. âSure.â
You spent the next hour and a half going over the artworkâdiscussing placement, lighting, framing. He was enthusiastic and attentive, genuinely appreciative in a way that still surprised you, even now.
You moved through the headquarters together. Most people had gone home by then. The sun had already set, casting long shadows through the quiet halls. A few late workers lingered, but Satoru told them to go and rest and sent them home. And just like that, it was the two of you, walking side by side through the empty building, planning where each piece would live.
It was in one of the offices on the west side of the buildingâthe ones with the perfect view of Tokyo Towerâthat you found yourself on your tiptoes, trying to tape a placeholder on the wall for one of the larger pieces. You stretched, struggling to reach just high enough to get the angle right.
âWait, let me.â
Before you could respond, Satoru was suddenly right behind you. He gently took the tape from your fingers, easily reaching over you to press it into place. His body hovered just a breath away, tall and warm.
âThank you,â you said, suddenly flushed. But he didnât move away. âYou can step back now.â You didnât dare turn around because if you did, you would end up facing his chest. And you really didnât want to face his chest.
âDoes this make you uncomfortable?â
âWhat kind of question is that?â
âIâm just checking in,â he said casually, like it was the most normal thing in the world to stand inches away from someone like this.
âYou have a strange way of doing that.â
âI had a feeling.â
âAbout what?â
âYouâre avoiding me.â
âI donât.â
He reached out, fingers brushing your shoulder, and then slowly trailed the back of his hand down your arm. It sent a shiver down your spine that you hoped he didnât notice.
âSo this doesnât bother you?â he asked, almost curious.
âSatoru, whatâs your mission here?â
You finally turned to face him and regretted it immediately. You were much too close, nearly pressed against him. His white dress shirt did nothing to hide the muscle beneath, and you hated the fact that your first thought was how unfairly good heâd look without it.
âYouâre blushing.â He reached out, gently cupping your chin and tilting your face up toward his.
âItâs hot.â
âIt isnât,â he said, and smiled.
He was right. It was around eighteen degrees. Damn these fancy offices and their perfectly functioning ACs.
âCan we go back to work? Iâd rather not have a sleepover here.â
Satoru didnât move. Instead, he leaned in closer, placing one hand against the wall beside your head, caging you in.
âYouâre acting strange today,â he said softly.
âMaybe because youâre keeping me here.â
âWas I mistaken?â
âAbout what?â
âOur date.â
âWhat about it?â
His hand dropped from your chin. âI thought it was⌠good.â
You blinked, trying to read him. âIt wasââ you cleared your throat, ââit wasnât just good. It was great.â
âOh. Yeah⌠I think so too. Then whyââ
âBut you didnât kiss me.â
His eyes widened just a little. âYou⌠wanted me to kiss you?â
âIâŚâ You hesitated, feeling your face getting even hotter then is already was. âYes.â
âI thought Iâd be a gentleman and take things slow. Are we actually kissing on first dates these days?â
âI mean⌠yeah. It dependsâI guess, butâŚâ You trailed off, absolutely flustered.
He paused for a beat, then that maddeningly smug grin spread across his lips.
âDonât smile like that,â you said, pushing lightly against his chest.
âIâm sorry, I just⌠I didnât want to rush things. I mean, my whole approach was already kind ofââ
âWeird? Borderline stalkerââ And then his lips were on yours, silencing your words.Â
No hesitation this time. No uncertainty. You melted into him instantly, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.Â
His hands slid into your hair, fingers threading through the strands as he tilted your head back, deepening the kiss with a confidence that made your knees go weak. One hand traced the line of your jaw while the other found the small of your back, pulling you closer until not even air could fit between you.
You could taste the coffee on his lips, could feel the slight tremor in his hands that betrayed that he wasnât as composed as he looked. When he pulled back, you were both breathless, foreheads pressed together under the dim lights.
âStill think this is just about the commission?â he asked, his thumb brushing gently across your bottom lip, now flushed and swollen from his kiss.
âShut up.â And then you grabbed him by his tie and pulled him back to your lips.
This kiss was different. Hungrier. Needier. He pressed you back against the wall, one hand braced beside your head, the other tangled deep in your hair. You couldnât stop the soft sound that escaped when he deepened it further, like youâd been waiting for this longer than you wanted to admit.
âWhatâs the hurry?â he whispered between kisses, his mouth trailing along your jaw.
âYou made a whole-ass campaign to find me,â you said, breathless, your fingers twisted in his shirt. âDonât back down now.â
His laugh was low and rough against your neck. âFair point.â
Before you could answer, his hands slid down to your thighs, and suddenly you were being lifted, your back pressed firmly against the wall as he held you there effortlessly. Your legs wrapped around his waist, and the new position brought you eye-level with him, close enough to see just how dark his eyes had gone.
âStill too slow for you?â he asked against your throat, his breath warm on your skin.
âGetting there,â you managed, though your voice was shakier than youâd intended, your hands gripping his shoulders for balance.
âI do like a challenge.â
Without breaking the kiss, Satoru carried you across the floor into his office, your legs still wrapped around his waist, until he reached the leather couch by the windows. He lowered you both down, following you as you sank into the soft cushions, his weight settling over you as his hands framed your face.
âMuch better,â he breathed against your lips.
His kisses deepened, slow and deliberate, like he had all the time in the world to explore the taste of you. One hand slid into your hair while the other traced the curve of your waist.Â
âI hope you sent everyone home,â you said, fingers threading through his white hair as his mouth moved along your neck.
âDonât worry. And besidesâglass or not, the walls are soundproof. One of the perks of being CEO.â
âHow convenient.â
âI thought so.â His teeth grazed the sensitive spot just beneath your jaw, making you gasp and arch beneath him. âThough I have to admitâI didnât imagine using it like this when I had them installed.â
You tugged gently at his hair, bringing his mouth back to yours. âThen what did you imagine?â
âBoring conference calls,â he said between kisses. âDefinitely not as interesting as this.â
The leather of the couch was cool against your back where your shirt had ridden up, highlighting the heat of his large hands as they explored the newly exposed skin. Outside, Tokyo shimmered in the night, but the only thing holding your attention was the man above youâthe way he kissed you like he was memorizing every reaction, every breath, every soft sound you made.
âWhat makes you think Iâm that loud?â you murmured against his mouth.
âOh, I have a feeling.â
His hand drifted lower, fingers tracing the curve of your hip before skimming up the inside of your thigh. The touch sent a rush through your veins, making you gasp softly into his kiss.
âSatoru,â you whispered, fingers gripping the front of his shirt, pulling him closer as his touch grew bolder.
âI know.â His hand inched lower between your legs, while his lips kissed down your neck. âI hate waiting too.â
Then his hand slipped beneath the waistband of your jeans, chasing every bit of tension that had been building between you since that very first subway sketch. And as the lights of Tokyo glittered beyond the glass, the rest of the world fell away, leaving nothing but the heat between youâand the things neither of you could hold back any longer.
ââ ⢠ăťâ¸â¸
Later, you lay tangled together on the leather couch, your head resting on his chest as his fingers traced lazy patterns along your bare shoulder. Everything had gone still, except for your breathing and the distant noise of Tokyo still awake outside.
âSo,â Satoru said, his voice warm with amusement, âwhere exactly did we leave off with the commission?â
You lifted your head to look at him, a smile tugging at your lips. âPretty sure we got distracted somewhere around placing the canvas in the west office block.â
âAh, yesâthe once perfect placement. Facing the window, not the door. âOmg, what was I thinking?ââ he teased in a gentle mimic of your voice, his fingers tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. âFor what Iâm paying you, I really have no say.â
âDonât blame this on me. You gave me full creative freedom. Or maybe you need better negotiation tactics.â
âMy negotiation tactics are pretty solid,â he protested, his chest rumbling with quiet laughter beneath your cheek. âI got exactly what I wanted.â
âThe art commission?â
âAmong other things.â His arms tightened around you, drawing you closer. âThough I still think the pieces should face the door, so I can see them from the hallway when I pass that office.â
âIs that your professional opinion, Mr. CEO?â
âThatâs my completely biased, utterly smitten opinion,â he said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. âThe CEO in me would probably have a lot to say about the productivity level of tonight.â
âPoor productivity indeed. We only managed to discuss half the rooms.â
âTerrible oversight.â His hand slid slowly down your back, caressing your hip. âWeâll have to schedule another meeting. Several, probably. Very intensive. Very hands-on.â
âHands-on is definitely the way to go with this project,â you said, tilting your face up to meet his gaze, and the look he gave you was so tender it made your heart skip.
In one smooth motion, he flipped you beneath him again, his weight settling over you as his lips found yours. âI think we should continue our discussion right now,â he murmured, trailing kisses down your throat.
You were just beginning to melt into his touch when the sound of the office door opening made you both freeze.
âOh fuck! I didnât know you were still here,â a voice blurted.
You scrambled to grab Satoruâs shirt from the floor next to the couch and pulled it over yourself as you pressed back into the couch cushions. Thankfully, the back of the couch faced the door, giving you at least some cover, but your heart was hammering so hard you were sure whoever it was could hear it.
Satoru pushed himself up, running a hand through his messy hair, looking far too at ease for someone whoâd just been caught in a very compromising position
âSuguru,â he said, voice calm and unbothered. âWhatâs up?â
âDonât botherâIâm just looking for my laptop charger. Iâll leave.â
âItâs okay. We were just...â Satoru began, then seemed to realize there was no good way to finish that sentence. â...Having a meeting.â
You buried your face in your hands, mortified. Why the hell is he starting a conversation right now? This was not how youâd imagined your evening endingâalmost naked on Satoruâs office couch, wearing only his shirt, while his colleague stood in the doorway looking for his goddamn laptop charger.Â
The time you waited for the guy to get his charger were the most agonizing twenty second of your whole life and to your bad, Satoru wasnât even the slightest bit ashamed.
Little did you know that Suguru would become one of your closest friends once you and Satoru were actually in a relationship. But every single birthday party or casual gathering, that story would come again. âHaha, did you know Suguru caught us on the couch?â Satoru would joke, while Suguru would groan, âCan we please never talk about that again?â
Six months later, the apartment Satoru found for the two of you was perfect in the way only he could manageâspacious enough for both of you to have your own creative corners and with big windows that caught the morning light beautifully and offered a stunning view of the city skyline. It was nestled just across from a quiet park where the trees already turned gold for autumn.
But it was the room heâd turned into your art studio that brought you to tears the first time you saw it. Windows that faced the north for consistent lighting, spacious storage for your materials, and enough wall space to work on several large canvases at once.
âYou didnât have to do all this,â youâd said, running your fingers along the custom easel heâd installed.
âI wanted to,â heâd replied simply, wrapping his arms around you from behind. âI want to see what you create when you have all the space and time in the world.â
Youâd cut your hours at Takahashi Media Group down to part-timeâsomething that wouldâve been financially impossible before Satoru. But the commission for his headquarters had led to three more corporate projects, and suddenly, you had enough steady work to support yourself as an artist. Real work. Meaningful work. Not just subway sketchesâthough you still did those too. Now, Satoru sometimes joined you on weekend train rides, amused by the way strangers reacted to receiving unexpected portraits.
Your mornings became a rhythm of coffee in bed while he read financial reports and you sketched ideas for new pieces. After the third time he found you passed out over a canvas at 2 AM, having forgotten to eat dinner, he installed a espresso machine in your studio. Now, heâd show up with perfectly crafted lattes and whatever takeout heâd ordered, settling into the window seat with his laptop while you paintedâtaking calls with investors in Tokyo, New York, and London, all while keeping an eye on you and making sure you donât overwork yourself again.
âYou know I can hear you smiling through the phone,â youâd tease after he hung up from his calls.
âCanât help it,â heâd say. âIâve got the most beautiful view in the city right here.â
The subway sketches evolved too. Instead of giving them all away, you started keeping someâthe ones that captured something more, moments that felt like little revelations about people, about life. Satoru convinced you to include them in a group exhibition at a gallery in Shibuya. The opening night was small and intimate, but watching people connect with your work in a way they never had when you were just handing out drawings on trains felt like validation of everything youâd been trying to do.
âThis feels like coming full circle,â Satoru whispered into your ear as you both watched guests study your pieces, his hand resting warmly at the small of your back.
âFrom stalking me through my art to displaying it properly?â
âFrom falling in love with your work⌠to falling in love with you,â he corrected. And even after months of dating, after hearing him say those words more times than you could count, they still made your heart skip.
Suguru became an unexpected constant in your life too. What began hella awkward slowly turned into real friendship. And the three of you fell into an easy routine of weekend dinners and spontaneous museum visits, Suguru often playing the role of best friend and occasional voice of reason when Satoruâs grand romantic gestures got out of hand.
Which happened more often than youâd expected. Like the time he rented out an entire floor of a restaurant because youâd wanted to eat there but hated crowded rooms. Or when he bought a whole flower shopâs worth of peonies because youâd mentioned loving them once. Or the morning you woke up to find the cityâs best sushi chefâapparently an old friend of his, because Satoru seemed to know everyone in this goddamn townâpreparing breakfast in your kitchen, just because youâd been craving good fish.
âYou know you donât have to keep trying to impress me,â you told him after each increasingly excessive gesture. âI already said yes to moving in with you.â
âIâm not trying to impress you. Iâm trying to spoil you. Thereâs a difference.â
The truth was, it was the small things that meant the most. The way heâd automatically order your coffee when you were running late, or how heâd text you photos of interesting architecture from whatever city he was traveling through, or the fact that heâd learned to distinguish between your different paintbrushes and how to clean them properly when you forgot.Â
He even kept a sketchbook of his own now, filled with terrible but enthusiastic drawings of you working, cooking, sleeping, just existing in the space youâd built together.
Your family adored him, of course. Your mother immediately started calling him her âsecond sonâ after a chaotic family dinner heâd attendedâwhich, by the way, you always thought was kind of weird. Like, why would parents call him their âsonâ when he was spending every other night between your thighs?âStill, he charmed everyone with stories about his work, genuine interest in your fatherâs completely ordinary job and about your cousinsâ college applicationsâand even remembered your auntâs dogâs name. He always brought the perfect wine to pair with whatever your mom was cooking, and never forgot a birthday.
The subway sketches and posters that had started everything found a permanent home in the hallway of your shared apartment. A dozen framed moments that told the story of your work and your relationship. The original sketch youâd given him on that crowded train of Line 4 hung proudly in his office at work, right next to his desk where everyone could see it.
âThatâs where it all started,â heâd say whenever anyone asked. âBest investment I ever made.â
Three years later, when Satoru proposed during one of your morning train ridesâgetting down on one knee right there in the subway car where you first met, causing a scene that had fellow passengers cheering and taking picturesâyou realized that sometimes the best love stories start with the smallest gestures.Â
A sketch handed to a stranger. A poster campaign that was equal parts romantic and unhinged. A decision to be brave enough to call a number written on a business card.
And every morning, as you watched the city wake through the studioâs windows while Satoru hummed in the kitchen, probably checking market reports with one hand and making your coffee with the other, you couldnât help but smile at how beautifully imperfect it all was. How your once carefully ordered life had been turned upside down by a man with white hair and the kind of heart that didnât know how to love in small doses.
âStill think Iâm weird?â heâd ask sometimes, appearing in your studio doorway with a mug of coffee and that same grin that had made your knees weak the very first time.
âThe weirdest,â youâd always reply, taking the coffeeâand the kiss that came with it. âBut youâre my weird. And I love you.â
âI love you more,â heâd say, leaning down to kiss your forehead.
And that, youâd learned, made all the difference.
masterlist + support my writing
author's note â wait ! before you go ! if you enjoyed this story, iâd be forever grateful if youâd consider gifting me a few minutes of your time to participate in a research survey for my masterâs thesis in psychology <3 (am i shamelessly using my reach to gather primary data ? yes. yes i am. and i have no regrets.)
here's the link.
itâs completely anonymous, but just a heads-up: the survey touches on nightmares and emotional wellbeing, so it may be sensitive for some. please feel free to stop at any point if it doesnât feel right for you.
other than that, thank you so much for reading !! i hope you enjoyed the story. i need provider!satoru gojo so bad like ugh but instead iâm stuck in higher education trying to become my own provider. send help :')))
wishing you all the soft chaos you deserve. take care <3

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Š lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or copy my work.
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cw: somnophilia, smut, p in v, creampie
the room is quiet, save for the soft hum of the early morning. pale sunlight slips through the blinds, painting golden stripes across the bed sheets and across his skin.
gojo's already awake.
has been for a while now, lying flat on his back, eyes wide and unfocused as he stares at the ceiling. his heartâs still racing, chest rising too quickly for someone who's just woken up. and below the sheets, heâs achingly hard.
because of you.
he turns his head slowly, almost like heâs afraid of what heâll see.
and there you are. still fast asleep, sprawled out on your stomach, face turned toward him. lips parted. breathing soft and even.
he swears under his breath. lifts the blanket just enough to peek beneath it. fuck. godâyouâre wearing his shirt. just that. itâs ridden up a little around your waist, exposing the bare curve of your ass, the soft dip of your back.
his cock twitches.
the dream flashes through his mind againâyour voice all breathy and wrecked, the heat of your body wrapped around him, the way you begged him not to stop.
he bites his lip. hard.
you shift a little in your sleep, unaware of the chaos heâs spiraling into. and he wonders if he can wait. if he should wake you. if youâd be okay with his hand ghosting up your thigh, if youâd press into his touch the same way you did in his dream.
he wants you. so badly itâs driving him insane.
you rustle beneath the covers, shifting just slightlyâjust enough for a quiet breath to slip from your lips. itâs barely a sound.
but to him, it might as well be a moan.
gojo runs a hand down his face, dragging it over his mouth like thatâll somehow ground him. it doesnât. youâre still there. still soft and sleeping and tempting him without even trying.
âfuck,â he mutters under his breath.
you stretch just a little. the hem of your his shirt rides up further. his eyes drop to the exposed skin of your thighs, the slope of your assâand before he can stop himself, he shifts closer. just a little. just enough to feel the heat radiating off you.
maybe if heâs careful.
maybe if heâs quietâ
the next thing he knows, heâs leaning over you, forearms braced on either side of your body, blanket pushed down around your hips. his breath catches. your cheek is still pressed against the pillow, brows softly furrowed like youâre just on the edge of waking.
and he canât help it.
he rolls his hips forward, a slow, grinding motion that presses his aching cock against your ass. his sleep shorts are the only thing separating him from you. the friction is barely enoughâbut it still punches the breath from his lungs.
god, you feel so warm. so soft.
he grits his teeth and does it again, hips moving just a little slower this time, savoring the drag of the fabric, the shape of you beneath him.
he shouldnât.
but he needs you.
he moves again. slower this time, like heâs testing the watersâlike if heâs careful, he can stretch this moment forever.
the thick heat of you under him, the cling of his shirt to your skin, the soft, mindless press of his cock against your ass with every gentle grind.
itâs dizzying.
heâs not even inside you, and still heâs gasping into the crook of your neck like youâre wringing the life out of him.
his hips roll forward again. then again. the rhythm is lazy, almost tender, and somehow worse because of it. like he's not trying to get offâjust feel you. just use your warmth to relieve the ache that's been plaguing him since he opened his eyes.
every slow drag of his cock against you sends sparks up his spine. and the friction of his shorts, damp and sticky with pre-cum, only adds to it.
his forehead drops to your shoulder. heâs panting now, quiet and uneven.
itâs sinful. itâs selfish.
but itâs you. and heâs helpless.
he grinds into you again, this time just a little harder, and your body shifts with the motionâhips tipping slightly, breath hitching in your throat.
he freezes.
and thenâ
ââŚâtoru?â
your voice, hoarse and thick with sleep, shatters the stillness.
his nameâthat nicknameâfalls from your lips like a whisper, delicate and confused.
he sucks in a breath through his teeth. pulls his head back enough to look down at you, andâfuckâyouâre blinking up at him, hazy and warm, face half-smushed into the pillow, lips parted just slightly.
youâre still so sleepy. so unaware of how heâs been using you.
âiâŚâ he starts, voice hoarse, raw with need. âshit. sorry, babyâi didnât mean to wake you.â
but his hips are still hovering dangerously close to yours. his breath still trembles. and his cockâstill pressed up against youâis throbbing.
you shift a little beneath him, body arching into his by instinct, and your sleepy eyes flutter open just enough to see the way heâs trembling above youâlike heâs barely holding it together.
âitâs okay, âtoru,â you mumble, voice soft and slurred with sleep. âi donât mindâŚâ
âfuck,â he groans, burying his face into the warm crook of your neck. âthank you. thank you, babyâŚâ
he moves againâgrinding into you slowly, reverently, like your body is holy and heâs here to worship. the drag of his cock against you is deeper now, more deliberate. but still patient. still soft.
his hands slide beneath the hem of your shirt, fingertips splaying across your bare waist as he keeps the rhythm. he kisses your shoulder. your neck. just the tip of your jaw.
âyou feel so good,â he whispers, voice wrecked. âdidnât mean to⌠fuck, i couldnât help it. had a dream, baby. thought i could stay quiet.â
your thighs shift slightly, spreading without a word, and the motion makes him groan low against your skin. his cock twitches again, damp with need, straining against the fabric between you.
and your quiet soundsâsoft sighs, broken little breathsâstart to fill the room, painting the silence with heat. they slip from your lips without thought, like your body is reacting before your mind can catch up. and satoruâs addicted.
âthatâs it,â he murmurs, nose nuzzling the shell of your ear. âlet me hear you.â
you whimper softly as he rolls his hips again, this time slower, deeper. the head of his cock catches between your cheeks and he shudders, cursing under his breath like heâs trying not to come already.
he's just about to rut into you again, a little harder this time, when your voice cuts through the haze.
âwait⌠satoru.â
he stops instantly.
breath ragged, muscles trembling, but he obeys. his hips still, though he's still pressed flush against youâhis cock hot and aching where it rests between your bodies. he lifts his head, eyes wild and a little dazed.
âyou okay?â he asks, voice hoarse, laced with concern. âdid I hurt yââ
you roll onto your back slowly, lazily, and his words catch in his throat.
your skin glows in the soft light. you hook your legs around his waist, dragging him down into the cradle of your hipsâand his breath leaves him in a shaky rush.
but you donât let him move.
not yet.
your hands slide up his chest, slow and teasing, nails barely grazing the firm lines of his body. he sucks in a breath as you trace over his abs, your touch featherlight, your expression still soft with sleep.
and then your hand slips past the waistband of his shorts.
he gasps.
you wrap your fingers around his cock, thick and flushed and leaking, and his whole body shuddersâhead dropping, forehead pressing to yours like heâs praying.
âf-fuck,â he chokes out, hips twitching into your grip. âbaby, what are youââ
âjust wanted to feel you,â you murmur, voice breathy.
your hand moves slow, teasing, just enough to make him twitch and pant above you. your thumb brushes over the tip, collecting the pre-cum and spreading it down the length of him, and he lets out the softest, most desperate whimper.
his arms buckle slightly, and his weight sinks into you, one hand buried in the sheets beside your head, the other gripping your hip like itâs the only thing keeping him grounded.
âplease,â he breathes, lips brushing yours. âplease, babyâfuck, Iâll do anything.â
you loop your free arm around his neck, pulling him down, and his lips crash against yours like heâs been waiting all morningâhell, all his life. the kiss is lazy in rhythm, but messy and needy, full of open mouths and shaky breaths, teeth knocking a little as you both whine into it like youâre coming apart just from the taste of each other.
youâre still stroking him, still pumping him in slow, slick pulls, and heâs barely holding onâhips stuttering, chest heaving, moaning into your mouth like youâre torturing him in the best way.
âfuck, baby, I canâtâIâm gonna lose itââ
you tug his shorts down with your other hand, fumbling a little, but he helps, shoving them halfway down his thighs just enough to free himself completely. His cock slaps against his stomach, flushed and leaking, and you guide him downâbetween your legs, to where youâre already soaked from all the teasing.
he pants into your mouth when you line him up with your entrance, his tip just barely nudging your folds.
âare you sure?â he rasps, voice breaking with restraint.
your legs tighten around his waist.
âwant you, âtoru,â you whisper. ânow.â
he chokes on a moan and then pushes in.
slow. deep.
the stretch pulls a gasp from your throat, and he buries his face in your neck with a broken groan, like the warmth of you around him is too much. like itâs everything heâs ever needed.
âfuckâbaby, you feelââ he gasps, bottoming out, hips trembling as he sinks all the way in. âso warm, so perfectâshit, iâm not gonna last.â
you clench around him just a little and he whines, breath stuttering.
then he pulls back and thrusts forward.
the sound of skin on skin fills the room, slick and slow at first, but it picks up quickâlike once he starts, he canât stop. like heâs wanted this all morning and now heâs finally inside you, heâs going to fuck you until his name is the only thing you remember.
your arms stay looped around his neck, keeping him close. Your mouths find each other again, messier this time, all tongue and moans and desperation.
and he fucks you deep, hips rolling with practiced ease, cock dragging perfectly against all the right spots.
âi dreamed about this,â he pants into your mouth. âwoke up so hardâjust needed youâfuck, baby, i need youââ
but it doesnât last. he tries to keep it together, he really does, but the way you squeeze around him, the soft whimpers you let out each time his hips meet yoursâitâs too much.
his rhythm falters. gets sloppier. more desperate.
each thrust comes quicker now, his body pressing tighter against yours, his moans getting higher and needier, fingers digging into your hips as he loses himself.
âsâshit, baby, iâm gonnaâi canâtââ he gasps, voice trembling.
you giggle softly, breathless, feeling him start to stutter. you tilt your head, brushing your lips against his cheek, and whisper, âalready?â
his whole body shudders, and then heâs burying his face in your shoulder with a broken whine.
âdonâtâfuck, donât teaseââ
but itâs too late. he cums with a soft cry, hips stuttering hard against you, spilling into you. the way he groans your name, the heat of him filling you, the trembling press of his bodyâit tips you over the edge, too. your legs tighten around him as a soft gasp escapes your lips, your body clenching around him, pulled taut with pleasure as you come together in a slow, messy, breathless tangle. his whole body goes taut, then slumps against yours, breath ragged and skin burning hot.
you hold him close, running gentle fingers through the damp strands of white hair sticking to his forehead. heâs panting, face flushed a pretty pink, eyes squeezed shut as he tries to recover.
âplease donât say anything,â he mumbles into your neck, still breathless, voice small.
you laugh, soft and warm, and pull him in for a sweet kiss.
âgood morning to you too, loverboy.â
author's note. someone pls convince me this is good enough i just needed to post something it's been so long i'm sorry </3
please do not steal, modify or translate my work.
#âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸#you write him so well âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸âšď¸
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LAW OF ATTRACTION - GOJO SATORU
summary. Newton said the smaller the distance, the stronger the pull. Gojo Satoru thinks that explains the way he feels when youâre close.
word count. 18.2k (i need help)
content. mdni, fem!reader, college au, nerd! gojo, simp gojo supremacy, fluff, banter, tensionnnn, pet names, he's so down bad it's actually pathetic, teasing, smut, male mast., oral (male + fem rec), cum eating, face sitting, p in v, mating press, slight hair pulling, praise, swearing, light dumbification (just a lil), tit play, overstim, creampie, aftercare, pillow talk
author's note. fashionably late (?) to the trend BUT HERE WE ARE
Gojo Satoru is already arguing with the professor.
The classroom smells like coffee and too-new textbooks, the kind of sterile atmosphere that clings to the first week of university. Half the students arenât even paying attention yet, still easing into the rhythm of things. But not him.
Gojo stands tall near the front, hands in the pockets of his pressed slacks, sweater vest and button-up perfectly in place, thick-rimmed glasses pushed up the bridge of his nose. His snowy hair is perfectly messy, his posture relaxedâalmost bored.
âIâm just saying,â he drawls, voice smooth and annoyingly self-assured, âyou canât talk about general relativity without at least addressing gravitational time dilation. Not if you want to keep your credibility.â
Thereâs a beat of silence. Someone in the back stifles a laugh.
The professor straightens her notes. âWeâll get there, Gojo.â
âSure,â he says, unbothered, but thereâs a glint in his cerulean eyes. âBut isnât it a little irresponsible to feed undergrads simplified versions of reality? Weâre not children.â
âYouâre barely adults,â the professor mutters under her breath.
And just when it seems like heâs winding up for another volleyâanother casually devastating critique thatâll make the professorâs eye twitchâthe door opens with a quiet creak.
âSorry Iâm late.â
The room stills.
You step inside, backpack slung over one shoulder, sunlight catching in your hair like some perfectly staged movie scene. You arenât frazzled or apologeticâjust calm, composed, like this is your class and everyone else is simply borrowing space in it.
Gojo turns. And forgets how to speak.
He doesnât recognize you even though heâs memorized everyoneâs faces during the orientation. But yours is unfamiliar. Distractingly so. And in that moment, standing half-turned at the front of the classroom, he is completely, totally, undeniably wrecked. His mouth parts slightly. No sound comes out.
The professor clears her throat. âTry to be on time next class.â
You nod easily. âOf course. Wonât happen again.â
Gojoâs eyes follow you as you make your way to an empty seatâhis row. The one he claimed early on for optimal note-taking and strategic interruption placement. And of course, because the universe clearly enjoys watching him suffer, you pick the seat right beside his.
He doesnât move. Doesnât sit. Just watches as you settle in beside him and flip open your notebook like nothingâs happened. Like you didnât just reset the laws of gravity around his universe.
âGojo?â the professor prompts from the front.
He startles. âHuh? Ohâyeah. I mean, yes. Sorry.â
Silence stretches as the lecture resumes. Gojo Satoruâs foot bounces beneath the desk. His fingers twitch like they want to scribble something but forgot how pens work.
He chances a glance at you from the corner of his eye. Youâre taking notes, completely unfazed. Like you havenât just walked into his orbit and thrown everything off-axis.
-
Itâs quiet in the library. The kind of quiet that almost feels sacred, broken only by the occasional rustle of paper or the soft click of a keyboard. Youâre tucked away at a corner table, head down, headphones in, completely immersed in your reading.
Gojo spots you the moment he steps in. He hadnât meant to come hereâphysics homework was the last thing on his mind todayâbut the second he saw you seated, that changed. Suddenly, heâs very interested in gravitational lensing and quantum field theories.
He chooses the table diagonally across from yours. Not directly oppositeâthat would be too obvious. But just close enough that he can sneak glances without it being weird. Probably.
He flips open a textbook. Doesnât read a single word. Just peeks at you over the top of the page like a little nerdy menace in disguise. Every time you adjust your hair or furrow your brows or smile faintly at something you read, itâs like heâs been hit in the chest. Repeatedly.
Then you look up.
He freezes. Straightens up. Pretends to be deeply fascinated by a diagram of a particle collider. You blink. Tilt your head a little. Thenâyou pull your headphones out. âGojo Satoru, right?â
He almost drops his pen. âUhâyeah. Thatâs me.â
âYouâve been staring at page fifteen for like⌠twenty minutes.â
He blinks. Looks down at his book. Flips it to page thirty-seven. âRight. Yeah. Thatâs, uhâintentional.â
You smile. âSure it is.â
He wants to melt into the carpet.
You go back to your notes, sliding your headphones on again like itâs nothing. But that smile doesnât leave your face. And Gojoâs certain heâll be thinking about it for the rest of the week.
-
You're sitting under the tree near the physics building, nose buried in your laptop, headphones on, pretending you donât feel someone staring at you. You do. Of course you do.
You glance up. Heâs there.
Gojo, the cocky know-it-all from class. Still in that damned sweater vest, hair all floofy like he just rolled out of a nap and somehow made it fashion. Heâs holding a coffee cup with one hand and awkwardly adjusting his glasses with the other, pretending like he just happened to pass by. He absolutely did not.
You blink. He panics.
âOh. Uhâhey,â he says, and it comes out a little too loud, a little too fast, like his vocal cords staged a mutiny the second your eyes met.
You slide your headphones down. âHi.â
Thereâs a long pause. He fidgets with the sleeve of his shirt, eyes flicking everywhere but your face now. âYou, uh⌠You always sit here?â
You raise an eyebrow. âDuring this exact 30-minute window between classes? Yeah. Kinda my thing.â
âOh,â he says, and laughsânervously. âCoolcoolcool. I justâuh. I just thought you looked like someone who enjoys differential equations under tree shade.â
You squint. âYouâre making fun of me.â
âWhat? No! IâI do that too. All the time. Big tree guy. Huge⌠leaf enjoyer.â
Thereâs a beat of silence. You bite back a laugh. âYou good?â
âI was,â he mumbles, almost to himself, then louder: âYeah! Iâm totallyâso good. Amazing, even.â
You give him a look. He clears his throat and tries again. âListen, I didnât get your name earlier, and thatâs kind of a crime in several countries, probably. SoâŚâ
You pause, then finally tell him.
He repeats it under his breath like a prayer. âPretty.â
You tilt your head at him, teasing. âSo⌠was there a reason you were looking at me in class? Or is staring at people just part of your regular schedule?â
He flinches. Like, visibly. Adjusts his glasses again even though theyâre already perfectly in place. âStaring is a strong word.â
âYou choked on air.â
He groans, half-laughing, half-dying inside. âOkayâyeah, that⌠may have happened. But in my defense, I didnât know I was capable of being that flustered until you walked in.â
Your eyebrows lift. âYou were flustered?â
âFatally,â he replies without missing a beat. âIt was the most embarrassing moment of my entire academic career. And I once accidentally called a professor âdadâ in front of the entire cohort, so.â
You snort. âNo you didnât.â
âUnfortunately, I did. That man never looked at me the same again.â
You shake your head, smiling despite yourself. Thereâs something kind of charming about the contrastâhow sharp and smug he is in the lecture hall, then how weirdly dorky he gets the second he talks to you.
Gojo notices the smile. He lights up. âThatâs a win, right?â he grins. âThat counts as a win?â
You roll your eyes. âBarely.â
âStill counts,â he sings, rocking back on his heels. âYou like coffee?â
You blink. âThatâs random.â
âI just thoughtâmaybe next time I bring one, I could bring you one too. You know. If weâre both going to be professionally loitering under this tree during our thirty-minute window.â
You pretend to think about it. âWhat kind?â
âWhatever kind makes you smile again.â
You pause. Okay. That was smooth.
You look away, just for a second, to hide the grin threatening to take over your whole face.
âYouâre annoying,â you mutter.
He beams. âYouâre not the first to say that.â
You part ways not long after, the building just a few steps ahead, and Gojoâs still standing where you left himâhands in his pockets, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose, hair gleaming like spun silver in the sunlight.
You steal one last glance as you walk away, andâyep. Heâs still watching you.
Still smiling like he knows something you donât.
And just when you think youâve escaped unscathed, you hear his voice call after you: âBy the way, if you keep looking at me like that, I will ask for your number next time!â
You donât turn around. You canât. Your cheeks are already on fire.
But he laughs, bright and victorious, and you know he saw the way you tripped on the curb a second later. Cocky bastard.
And yet⌠youâre smiling the whole walk to class.
-
Youâre seated a few rows back this time. Thought it might help with the whole not staring directly at Gojo Satoru like he invented astrophysics problem.
It doesnât.
Not when heâs in his usual seat up front, one leg crossed over the other, sleeves pushed to his elbows like heâs here to work. Glasses low on his nose. A pen between his fingers that he keeps spinningâcasually, like itâs no big deal heâs also kind of stupidly good at everything.
The professor drones on at the front of the room, explaining quantum field theory, but youâre only half-listening.
Because Gojo raises his hand. Again.
âActually, thatâs not entirely accurate,â he says, voice way too smooth for a know-it-all. âIf you factor in the renormalization group flow, the outcome shifts entirely. I can show you if you want.â
She blinks. âI⌠well. Thatâs a fair point, Gojo.â
He grins, leans back like he didnât just out-nerd a tenured physicist, and thenâthenâhe looks at you. Like he knows youâre watching.
And you are. You so are.
Gojo tilts his head slightly, mouth curling into that infuriating little smirk as he mouths: Impressed yet?
You look away instantly.
You are. Youâre very impressed. Unfortunately. But youâre not gonna let him know that. Not yet.
So instead, you raise your hand. And when the professor calls on you, you challenge his answer.
Gojo looks like you just proposed.
-
Class ends and students start filing out, a low murmur of backpacks zipping and chairs scraping filling the air. Youâre casually packing up your things, pretending not to notice the way someone is lingering by the door.
He shouldâve left already. But noâheâs leaning against the wall like itâs a conscious choice, not that heâs waiting for you or anything. Totally not that.
You sling your bag over your shoulder and head out. You donât even get five steps into the hallway before you hearâ
âSoâŚâ
You turn.
Gojoâs standing there, hands in his pockets, lips parted like heâs still catching his breath. His glasses are a little crooked. Probably because heâs been running that hand through his hair again. He straightens up when you face him.
âThat was⌠impressive,â he says, rubbing the back of his neck. âLike, really impressive.â
You smile. âThanks. You were good too, by the way.â
He blinks. âGood? Iâgood? Thatâs it?â
âYup.â You start walking. âTry harder next time.â
Thereâs a pause. And then he jogs up beside you, looking equal parts offended and delighted. âOh, okay. So thatâs how it is?â he teases, grinning. âYouâre one of those girls.â
âWhat girls?â
âThe ones who enjoy crushing the academic dreams of sweet, helpless nerds like me.â
You give him a look. âHelpless?â
âDevastatingly,â he says, deadpan.
You snort. âYou literally made a PhD cry last week.â
âShe recovered.â
âYou sent her a fruit basket.â
âSee? I care.â
You try to hold back your laughter but fail miserably, and he lights up like you just handed him the Nobel Prize.
You turn the corner toward the next building, Satoru trailing beside you like a very tall, mildly wounded puppy.
Heâs oddly quietâhands still shoved in his pockets, eyes flicking your way every few seconds like heâs waiting for a verdict. It's kind of adorable.
You stop walking. âCome on,â you say, already veering toward the campus cafĂŠ. âIâll buy you a coffee.â
Satoru blinks. Twice. âL-like⌠like a date?â
You snort, rolling your eyes. âWoah there. Hold your horses, bud. Iâm doing it so maybe youâll stop moping around.â
He gaspsâactually gaspsâhands flying to his chest in mock offense. âI am not moping!â
âYou literally sighed ten times during that walk.â
âI was brooding. Itâs different.â
You raise an eyebrow. âYou pouted when I said you were just âgoodâ in class.â
âIâm a sensitive soul!â
âYouâre insufferable.â
âBut charming,â he says quickly, catching up to walk beside you again, shoulder bumping yours. âUndeniably charming.â
You hum, lips twitching. âSure. Letâs go with that.â
He grins, all pearly teeth and pretty-boy smugness, practically floating now. And just as you're about to step into the cafĂŠ, you hear him mutter something behind you, half to himselfâ
âIâm so gonna make you fall in love with me.â
You turn slightly. âWhat was that?â
âNothing!â he chirps, already holding the door open for you like a gentleman. âLadies first!â
-
He watches you from the tiny round table by the window, chin propped in his hand, glasses slipping a little down the bridge of his nose. Youâre standing at the counter, reading over the menu with a furrow between your brows like youâre solving quantum equations instead of choosing between oat milk or soy.
He could watch you forever. Not in a creepy wayâokay, maybe a little creepyâbut in that dumb, enamored kind of way where even the way you tap your fingers against the counter makes his heart do this weird flip.
You step up, voice soft but certain when you order. Vanilla latte, extra shot, light foam.
He files it away instantly. Vanilla. Extra shot. Light foam. Heâs going to remember that forever. He could write a thesis on it.
Your name is called, and he watches the way your eyes crinkle a little when you thank the barista. When you turn around, drinks in hand, and start walking back toward him, he panicsâbecause suddenly heâs hyper-aware of how dumb he must look just staring.
He quickly looks down at his phone screen, pretending to scroll through something important. Itâs literally just his calculator app open from earlier. Nothingâs calculated.Â
You slide his drink toward him when you sit. He doesnât even care what it is. You couldâve handed him gasoline and he wouldâve sipped it happily.
âThanks,â he says casuallyâway too casually for someone whose brain short-circuited the moment you looked at him.
And then you take a sip of yours, and he blurts it out without thinking:
âYouâre sweet.â
You blink. âHuh?â
He clears his throat. âThe drink, I mean. Itâs sweet.â
Smooth. So smooth.
You squint at him suspiciously. He hides behind his cup and takes a sip.
You're mid-sip of your latte when he says itâcompletely out of nowhere, eyes locked on you like he's trying to memorize your entire existence.
"You're kinda pretty when youâre annoyed, yâknow?"
You almost choke. "What?"
He leans forward, resting his chin in his palm, grinning like he just cracked the code to the universe. âJust an observation. Purely academic.â
"Youâre impossible," you mutter, eyes darting awayâand he sees it, the blush creeping up your neck.
And thatâs it. Thatâs his victory.
He leans back in his chair, smug as hell. âYou're blushing.â
"I'm not."
âOh no, donât worry. I think itâs cute,â he says, like itâs a fact in a textbook.
You throw a sugar packet at him. He dodges with a laugh.
"You trying to kill me? And here I thought this was a date."
You give him a look. âItâs not a date.â
He shrugs, grabbing your drink and stealing a sip like it is. âCouldâve fooled me.â
You snatch your cup back, but itâs too lateâheâs already smacked his lips like a wine critic.
âAre you always this annoying?â you ask, sipping your drink now.
He shrugs. âOnly when I like someone.â
You freeze for half a second. And he sees that too.
Your voice is careful, teasing but cautious. âSo you like me now?â
He hums, looking away dramatically, as if heâs pondering some great cosmic truth. âI donât know⌠Maybe. Youâre cute when youâre flustered. And when youâre mean to me. And when you roll your eyes. Andââ
âOkay, stop.â
âNope. You gave me coffee. Iâm powered up now. Canât shut me up.â
You groan, slumping in your seat with the most dramatic expression you can manage.
He grins wide, and that smug sparkle in his eyes softens, just a bit. âBut seriously,â he says, voice quieter now, âI like talking to you.â
And that shuts you up for a beat.
You meet his eyes again, and this time, thereâs no teasing, no cocky grinâjust sincerity, wrapped in dorky charm. ââŚI like talking to you too,â you admit, soft.
And just like that, he lights up all over again.
-
You both exit the cafĂŠ, coffees in hand, the air warmer than before but still crisp. The sunâs out, and so is Gojoâs smileâuntil you stop at the sidewalk and glance down at your phone.
âShit,â you mutter. âIâve got class right now.â
His face drops instantly. âWaitâalready? But I havenât even finished annoying you yet.â
You laugh, nudging his arm with your elbow. âYouâve done plenty in the last thirty minutes, trust me.â
He exhales dramatically, shoulders sagging as he pouts. âThis is tragic. A real loss for humanity.â
âDonât be so dramatic.â
âBut I miss you already,â he says. âWhoâs gonna listen to my unfiltered genius now?â
You raise a brow, backing away slowly. âIâm sure youâll find a new victim. See you, Gojo.â
âWaitâwait, when do I see you again?â he calls after you, half-joking, half-not.
You shoot him a smile over your shoulder. âYouâll live.â
And as you disappear into the crowd, he just stands there for a moment, lips pressed together, watching you go.
ââŚNo I wonât.â
-
You donât think much of it when Gojo catches up to you outside the lecture hall again. Heâs chatty as usual, teasing you about your keychain, dramatically proclaiming how he almost tripped over a squirrel on the way here, all while walking a half-step closer than necessary. Same old Gojo stuff.
You head toward your usual seat, a few rows back from the frontâjust enough distance to not get called on every two minutes. Youâre used to watching him breeze right past, to the very first row, like heâs the poster boy for "overachiever of the year."
So when you slide into your seat and Gojo casually takes the one right next to you, backpack dropping with a thud at his feet, you do a double take.
âWhat are you doing?â you whisper.
He only shrugs, flashing that annoyingly pretty smile. âJust felt like switching it up today.â
Youâre not the only one caught off guard. A few students glance over and someone even nudges their friend like this is newsworthy.
Because Gojo Satoru doesnât switch it up. Heâs the guy who color codes his notes and brings a backup calculator. But now heâs here, sitting so close that his knee bumps yours beneath the table and stays there.
You try to focus when class beginsâbut it's hard when he's right there beside you, radiating warmth. Every now and then, his fingers graze your thigh beneath the deskâcasual, like itâs nothing. Like itâs everything.
You donât look at him. But you know heâs grinning. And just when you're starting to think this canât get more distractingâ
âBefore we end today,â the professor says, âIâm assigning a group project. Pairs, selected at random.â
Your stomach sinks. You glance at Gojo, whoâs already turned toward the front again, fingers drumming lightly on the desk. Like he knows.
You hear names being rattled off. A list of partnerships. Thenâ
âAnd lastly, Gojo Satoru andâŚâ A pause. âYou.â
Silence. You blink. Gojo leans back with a loud, satisfied sigh and stretches his arms behind his head.
âOh no,â you mutter, already dreading whatâs coming.
âOh yes,â he says, grinning so wide it should be illegal.
-
You step out of the lecture hall with Gojo hot on your heels, practically bouncing with excitement. Heâs still beaming about the professorâs decision like he just won the lottery.
âThis is fate,â he says, catching up to walk beside you. âWeâre gonna be the best pair in that class. I mean, youâve got the brains and the beauty, and Iâve got the everything else.â
You snort. âYouâre not serious.â
âOh, Iâm dead serious.â He adjusts the strap of his backpack with dramatic flair. âThis is the beginning of a legendary academic alliance.â
You roll your eyes, trying to suppress the smile tugging at your lips. âSo, when do we start this legendary alliance of yours?â
He doesnât miss a beat. âThought youâd never ask. I was thinking⌠we could cash in that coffee date you promised me. Use the time to plan out our project. Very responsible. Very scholarly.â
You shoot him a look. âItâs not a date.â
âSure,â he says easily, eyes twinkling. âA purely educational rendezvous at a cozy cafĂŠ where we might happen to sit close enough to accidentally brush knees again.â
You groan. âFine. But weâre actually working on the project this time.â
âNo promises,â he grins.
And you hate how you laugh at that.
-
Youâre tucked into the booth of a cafĂŠ, a half-empty cup of coffee sitting forgotten as you scribble into your notebook. Across from you, Gojoâs talking a mile a minuteâbouncing between theories, concepts, and potential outlines for your project with the kind of ease that only someone dangerously smart could pull off.
And the worst part? Every word out of his mouth actually makes sense.
You glance up at him, brows lifting slightly. âOkay, that last one? Thatâs actually⌠really solid.â
He beams. âRight? I knew youâd see the brilliance.â
You shake your head with a small laugh. âI hate to say it, but Iâm impressed.â
Gojo leans forward, resting his chin on his hand with a smug grin. âCareful now. Compliments like that might go to my head.â
You ignore him, scribbling something down beside his last idea. The two of you work like that for a whileâyou writing, him throwing ideas around and occasionally sipping from his drink. And before you know it, youâve got the skeleton of a full project mapped out.
He stretches his arms above his head, shirt riding up just enough to be distracting. âWhew. Honestly? I didnât expect to get this much done.â
You close your notebook, tapping your pen against the table. âWe could start putting together the first draft later this week.â
Gojo nods. âYeah, sure. We could work at my place or somethââ
You cut him off, tone light. âYou could come to mine.â
He freezes. Blinks. âY-your place?â
You smile sweetly. âMhm.â
He stares at you, cheeks tinged pink behind his glasses. âIâyeah. Yeah, totally. Your place. Great idea. Love that. Very efficient. Extremely platonic and professional.â
You laugh. âYouâre cute when you malfunction.â
âI donât malfunction,â he mumbles.
You donât believe that for a second.
Heâs trying so hard to play it cool, but his brain short-circuited the moment you suggested your place. His legs bounce under the table, fingers fidgeting with the sleeve of his shirt like itâll ground him somehow.
You lean back in your seat, arms crossed as you observe him with a smug little smile. âYou alright there, genius?â
Satoru clears his throat, adjusting his glasses even though theyâre not crooked. âMe? Totally fine. Just recalibrating. You know, like⌠spatially. Mentally.â
You blink at him. âUh-huh.â
He runs a hand through his snowy hair, the tips poking out in every direction like even they are flustered. âI just wasnât expecting that, is all.â
âYou werenât expecting me to suggest we work on the project?â
âNoâI mean, yesâbut at your place?â He lifts his hands, palms up like heâs holding the concept of your apartment in the air. âDo you even realize what that implies?â
You tilt your head. âThat I trust you to not snoop through my things?â
He looks offended. âI would never snoop. I am a gentleman.â
âOkay, gentleman,â you say, standing and grabbing your bag. âThen bring snacks when you come over.â
That shuts him up real quick. He stares up at you, blinking as you sling your bag over your shoulder and give him one last little smirk. âOh,â you add casually, âand maybe wear those glasses again.â
His jaw drops.
You donât wait to see his reaction. You just turn and walk off with the smuggest little sway to your step, leaving Gojo sitting thereâcompletely malfunctioning, heart doing gymnastics in his chest.
He presses a hand over it, eyes wide. âOh god.â
-
[gojo]: hey. hey hey hey
[gojo]: when u said ur place⌠u meant like. like ur apartment right
[gojo]: like ur home. with walls. and couches. and stuff
[you]: i am aware of what my apartment contains, yes.
[gojo]: just checking đ
[gojo]: do i need to bring a textbook? or will u be tutoring me using sheer intimidation alone
[you]: i thought i was the one taking notes last time?
[gojo]: yeah but you intimidated me into being smart. thatâs powerful
[gojo]: anyway whatâs ur address đ
[you]: [sends location]
[you]: and bring snacks like i said. iâm not letting you in if you show up empty handed
[gojo]: what kind of snacks
[you]: surprise me
[gojo]: âŚ
[gojo]: you have NO idea what youâve just done
[you]: satoru itâs literally just snacks
[gojo]: and now iâm overthinking EVERYTHING. chips? chocolate? do i bring a charcuterie board???
[gojo]: i need you to know iâm taking this Very Seriously.
[you]: iâm sure you are.
[gojo]: đ¤ just u wait. iâll be the best study buddy youâve ever had.Â
[you]: is this your way of flirting or are you always like this
[gojo]: âŚyes
-
You open the door and there he isâstanding on your doorstep. His arms are full: a tote bag slung over his shoulder, a drink carrier in one hand, and a plastic bag filled with snacks in the other.
âYou said surprise you,â he announces, stepping in. âSo I brought everything. Chips. Cookies. Gummy worms. Protein bars, because balance. And boba. I panicked.â
You raise an eyebrow. âYou brought a buffet.â
âI wanted to impress you,â he says, dead serious, slipping his shoes off at the door.
You stifle a laugh and step aside. âCome on in.â
Your place is cozy, warm lighting humming softly. Gojoâs eyes flit around like heâs taking mental notes of every detailâyour throw pillows, your bookshelf, the faint scent of your perfume lingering in the air. You pretend not to notice how he seems ten times quieter than usual.
âSit,â you say, motioning to the couch.Â
He plops down next to you, thigh brushing yours, and pulls out his notes. âSo. I was thinking we model the phase shift in the magnetic field usingâwaitâwait, are you actually listening or just staring at my mouth?â
You blink at him. âI was listening. You just talk a lot.â
He leans in, smirking. âBut you were also staring.â
You swat his arm. âFocus.â
âYes, maâam,â he mumbles, hiding a very pleased grin.
As you two dive into the project, itâs surprisingly productive. Heâs brilliantâhe rattles off concepts with such ease that youâre genuinely impressed. You ask questions. He answers. You scribble notes while he paces your living room barefoot, gesturing wildly as he explains advanced equations like theyâre childrenâs bedtime stories. Heâs in his element. And kind of hot, too, in a completely nerdy, passionate way.
âYouâre really smart,â you say eventually, mid-note-taking.
He freezes. Turns to you slowly. âSay that again.â
You raise an eyebrow. âI said youâre smartââ
âNo no,â he says, dropping onto the couch beside you again. âSay it slower. Maybe into my ear this time.â
You laugh, shoving him gently. âGod, youâre impossible.â
âAnd yet you invited me over.â His voice drops just slightly, eyes glittering behind those thick-rimmed glasses. âKinda makes me think you like having me around.â
Your heart skips. âMaybe I do.â
He stares for a momentâreally staresâand then gives you the softest smile. âThen I guess Iâm not leaving until we finish the whole project. Top marks, remember?â
âTop marks,â you echo.
When your hands brush reaching for the same pen, you both freeze.
You recover first, pulling your hand back slightly. âYou can have it,â you say, trying to keep your voice casual.
Gojo, stubborn as ever, immediately shakes his head. âNo, itâs alright. You can have it.â
âNo, seriously, take it.â
âI insist.â
âYouâre being annoying.â
âYou like when Iâm annoying,â he says with a cheeky grin.
You roll your eyes and shove the pen towards him. âJust take it before I stab you with it.â
There's a beat of silence where you both just stare at each otherâawkward, heated, too aware of how close youâre sitting. You can feel the air shift between you, something lingering and soft.
Gojo clears his throat loudly, leaning back against the couch with exaggerated nonchalance. âUhâsnack break?â he says, voice a little too high-pitched to be smooth.
You bite back a smile, grateful for the out. âYeah. Snack break.â
He springs up like heâs been given a second life, muttering something under his breath about chips and cookies while you try very hard not to laugh.
Gojo rummages through your cabinets like he lives there, narrating dramatically under his breath. "Let's see... we have some chips, half a granola bar... oh-ho, instant ramen! A true feast fit for a queen."
You lean against the counter, arms crossed, watching him with an amused smile. "You're so dramatic."
He whirls around, holding the ramen packet in one hand like itâs a sacred artifact. "Dramatic? No, no, this is culinary excellence, sweetheart."
You snort, covering your laugh with the back of your hand. "You're about to microwave that."
"Precisely." He winks at you. "Modern problems require modern solutions."
You roll your eyes but grab a cup, filling it with water and handing it to him. Your fingers brush when he takes it, and maybe youâre imagining it, but he seems to pause for half a second longer than necessary, fingers brushing yours again on purpose.
"I'll make you the best cup ramen of your life," he declares proudly, tossing it into the microwave and punching in the time.
"Bold of you to assume I have low standards," you tease.
He leans an elbow on the counter, cocking his head at you with a lazy, smug grin. "Again. You invited me over. I'd say your standards are excellent."
Your cheeks flame immediately. "Shut up."
He just laughs, tossing his messy hair out of his eyes, looking at you like youâre the only thing that matters in the room.
The microwave dings and Gojo gasps. "It's time."
He pulls the ramen out like itâs a precious treasure, dramatically blowing on it before holding it out to you.
"Milady," he says in a terrible fake accent, "your meal."
Youâre laughing too hard to even be annoyed. You take the cup from him, smiling so hard your cheeks hurt.
-
You both make your way to the couch after the world's most gourmet snack break (according to Gojo), slumping down with your legs tucked under you while he scrolls endlessly through your streaming options.
"Pick something," you say, poking his thigh with your toe.
"But it's so hard," he whines dramatically. "What if I pick something that doesn't match our vibe?" He flashes you a sly, boyish smile, the kind that makes your heart lurch even when you don't want it to.
You roll your eyes, tossing a throw pillow at him. "Just pick something, drama queen."
He catches the pillow effortlessly, still grinning, and finally settles on some random romcomâprobably because he thinks it'll impress you with how emotionally available he is. Not even five minutes in, he does the whole exaggerated stretch and casual arm drop behind you. Textbook.
You give him a look. "Subtle."
He just beams, smug and utterly unbothered. "Thanks. Been practicing."
You shake your head, laughing under your breath, but you don't move away. Instead, you let the warmth of his arm hovering behind you linger there, like a secret.
You both slowly ease into a lazy sort of comfort, shoulders brushing every so often, knees bumping when one of you shifts. Heâs fidgety, thoughâtapping his fingers against the cushion, sneaking glances at you when he thinks you won't notice.
You notice. You just pretend not to.
Time blurs, the movie forgotten as conversation picks up again. Dumb stuff. Stories about professors, weird classmates, Gojo ranting about a physics experiment gone wrong because "the equipment was stupid, not me," and you laughing so hard your stomach hurts. At some point you realize how late itâs gotten.
You glance at your phone. "Shit, itâs almost midnight."
Gojo pouts dramatically. "Nooo, donât kick me out."
"You have class at eight tomorrow," you remind him, stretching your arms above your head. "Donât you dare blame me when you fall asleep in class."
He sighs, long and exaggerated, standing up anyway. "Fine. But just so you know, leaving is painful for me. Agony, even."
You snort, pushing yourself off the couch. "You'll live, Satoru."
He lingers by the door, bouncing on his heels like he wants to say something. And then he blurts, all in one breath: "Do you wanna go on a date with me?"
You blink, caught off guard. "A coffee date?"
"No, no!" He waves his hands frantically. "Likeâa real date. A good one. A fancy one. With food and everything!"
His voice goes a little desperate toward the end, as if you're seconds from rejecting him.
You cross your arms, fighting back a laugh. "Are you begging, Gojo?"
"Yes," he says instantly, with zero shame.
You tap your chin, pretending to think it over just to mess with him. He looks genuinely tortured, hands clutched in front of him like he's praying.
Finally, you shrug. "Alright. You can take me out."
The way his whole face lights up could rival the sun. "YESâYES, OH MY GODâokay, okay, I wonât screw this up, swear on my honorâ"
You laugh, pushing him lightly toward the door. "Text me the details, Romeo."
Heâs still beaming when he stumbles out, waving giddily.
You shake your head, grinning to yourself as you shut the door behind him.
-
You stand in front of the mirror, arms crossed, glaring at the mountain of clothes on your bed.
Itâs ridiculous. It's Gojo Satoru, for godâs sakeâthe same man who wears sweater vests unironicallyâso why are you panicking about what to wear?
You pick up a red dress, stare at it, and toss it aside. Too much.
A simple blouse and jeans? Too casual.
You want to look good. Scratch thatâyou want to make his brain short-circuit when he sees you.
Finally, after what feels like hours of spiraling, you settle on a black off-shoulder dress that hugs your figure flatteringly. Itâs something that feels like youâsimple but pretty, enough to make your heart skip when you catch your reflection.
Right as youâre fixing the final touches, your phone buzzes.
[gojo đ]: here <3
[gojo đ]: try not to fall in love with me too fast ok
You snort under your breath. Too late, you think, heart thudding faster than youâd ever admit.
You grab your bag and head outside, spotting him.Â
You almost don't recognize him at first.
Gone are the thick-rimmed glasses and the nerdy sweater vest he usually sports in class. Tonight, Gojo Satoru is dressed in a simple white button-upâsleeves rolled up to his forearmsâand black dress pants that cling just right to his lean frame. His snowy hair is still messy, like he ran his hands through it a million times, but somehow, it works. He looks effortlessly good. Stupidly good.
And when he spots you, he nearly trips over his own feet.
"Hey," you greet, a little breathless from how unfairly good he looks.
"Hey," he says back, voice cracking halfway through. He coughs, fumbling to form literal words, cheeks flushed. "You, uhâyou lookâwow."
You laugh softly as he practically skips toward you, offering you his arm with an exaggerated flourish. "Shall we, m'lady?"
You roll your eyes but take his arm anyway, feeling the warmth of him through the fabric of his shirt.
He leans down to whisper in your ear, cocky and sweet all at once: "Just so you know, I'm totally gonna brag about this to my future grandkids."
You elbow him lightly in the side, and he laughs, the happiest sound you've heard all day.
You laugh softly, letting go of him to get into the car, and he stands there for a second like heâs been shot.
When he finally gets himself together and slides into the driverâs seat, he sneaks a look at you. "Youâreâ" he starts, then cuts himself off, shaking his head like he canât believe his own luck. "Perfect," he finishes under his breath.
You pretend not to hear it, hiding your smile as he pulls out onto the roadâone hand casually on the wheel, the other fiddling nervously with his collar.
Neither of you says much at first. The radio hums softly between you.
But every few seconds, you catch him sneaking glances your way, grinning like this is already the best date ever.
-
You recognize the place immediately.
Itâs a beautiful rooftop restaurantâone youâd mentioned wanting to try in passing, months ago, when a friend posted about it on social media. You hadnât even realized he was listening.
The fact that he remembered makes your heart swell.
Satoru pulls into the valet line, hands slightly fidgety on the steering wheel. He throws a quick, nervous glance at you, like heâs scared you wonât like it.
"You, uh, mentioned it once," he says, almost shyly. "Thought it'd be better than, y'know... coffee again."
Your chest tightens in the softest, sweetest way. You open your mouth, ready to tease him, but the look on his faceâthe earnest hope in his eyesâmakes you stop. You just smile instead.
"Itâs perfect," you say quietly.
And the way he beams after that? God, you almost have to look away. Too much.
He practically leaps out of the car the second it's parked, sprinting around to your side to open the door for you. Exceptâhe miscalculates the timing and almost slams it into his own shin.
"Owâshitâ" he mutters under his breath, recovering quickly and yanking it open like nothing happened. He straightens up, all suave-like, grinning down at you.
"Milady," he says dramatically, offering you his hand.
You roll your eyes but take it anyway, letting him help you out of the car. His hand is warmâso much bigger than yoursâand he doesnât let go right away. In fact, he keeps holding it as you walk toward the entrance, fingers intertwined like itâs the most natural thing in the world.
And you donât pull away. If anything, you squeeze a little tighter.
Inside, the restaurant is even more beautiful than you imaginedâglittering fairy lights, soft music, a gentle breeze whispering across the rooftop.
Gojo glances down at you, smiling like you personally hung the stars. "Ready for the best date of your life?" he teases, but thereâs a nervous edge to itâlike your opinion actually, genuinely matters to him.
You bite your lip to hold back a grin.
"Lead the way, Romeo."
And he does. Hand in hand, heart thundering, wearing the dopiest smile imaginable.
Dinner with Gojo isâŚeffortless.
For once, he isnât tripping over his words or cracking half a dozen stupid jokes just to fill the silence. Heâs confidentânaturally confidentâin a way that makes your heart stutter. Itâs like all the nervous energy he usually carries around you has melted away tonight, leaving behind nothing but the real Satoru.
He leans back in his chair, the sleeves of his white button-up rolled up to his elbows, flashing the veins in his forearms as he lifts his wine glass to his lips.
Thereâs a lazy smirk playing on his mouth as he listens to you talk, bright blue eyes never straying from your face.
"Youâre staring," you tease after a moment, pretending to inspect the menu like youâre not burning under his gaze.
"Yeah," he says simply, not even bothering to deny it. "Youâre beautiful. Iâm allowed to stare."
You nearly choke on your water.
Recovering quickly, you raise a brow. "Smooth," you deadpan, setting your glass down.
He chuckles lowly, the sound curling around your spine like smoke. "Only because itâs true," he says, and the sheer casualty of it has your cheeks heating up.
And the worst part? You canât even pretend youâre unaffectedâbecause he sees it. The way your lips twitch, the way your eyes flicker away for just a second.
"So," you say quickly, trying to regain control of the conversation, "when youâre not busy terrorizing professors and making girls swoon, what do you do for fun, Gojo?"
He hums, pretending to think about it, tapping his fork against his lip.
"Hmm...think about you mostly," he says airily.
You whip your napkin at him across the table, and he lets out a bark of laughter, catching it midair like a reflex.
The two of you fall into easy conversation after thatâbantering, laughing, throwing subtle (and not-so-subtle) jabs at each other. It feels so natural that you almost forget this is your first real date.
Thereâs a momentâbetween courses, when youâre both picking at the remains of dessertâthat you catch him just looking at you again. No teasing. No smirk. Just watching. Soft, and a little awed.
You shift slightly, suddenly aware of the intimacy stretching between you. "What?" you murmur.
He blinks, as if waking up. Shakes his head, smiling faintly.
"Nothing," he says, voice a little rough. "Youâre justâreally fucking gorgeous."
Itâs so sincere that you donât even know what to say back. You just look at him, feeling your chest tighten in that dangerous, dangerous way again.
-
The drive back is quietânot uncomfortable. JustâŚfull.
Full of things unsaid, full of that warmth thatâs been simmering between you both all night.
Gojo parks in front of your place, turning off the engine, but neither of you make a move to get out right away. You just sit there, the hum of the night wrapping around you, the silence speaking louder than words ever could.
He turns in his seat slightly, arm draped over the steering wheel, looking at you with that soft, lopsided smile he reserves only for you now.
"I had a really good time," he says quietly, like itâs a secret meant only for you.
You smile back, feeling something sweet and dangerous unfurl in your chest. "Me too," you murmur, fingers twisting slightly in your lap.
The moment stretchesâcomfortable, a little electricâand you know you should say goodnight. You should.
So you finally reach for the door handle, pulling it openâAnd then, without thinking, you turn back.
Leaning in quick, before you can psych yourself out, you press a soft kiss to his cheek.
Itâs light, barely a brush, but Gojo freezes like youâve just electrocuted him.
You donât wait for his reaction. Your face burning, you practically stumble out of the car, slamming the door shut behind you with a muttered, "Goodnight!"
Through the window, you catch a glimpse of him: Wide-eyed, stunned, a hand lifted dazedly to his cheek like he can't believe what just happened.
And then he laughsâa breathless, giddy sound that you swear you can hear even as you rush up the steps to your door, heart hammering like crazy.
Inside the car, Satoru slumps back against the seat, grinning so hard his cheeks hurt. "God," he mutters to himself, still touching the spot where you kissed him, "Iâm so fucked."
-
Youâre lying in bed when your phone buzzes in your hand. Heart still racing from that impulsive kiss you planted on his cheek, you scramble to pick it up, thumbs fumbling.
[gojo đ]: next time, youâre not getting away with just a kiss on the cheek.
You nearly drop your phone.
Oh. Oh.
Your stomach flips. Your face burns. And even though you want to play it cool, you canât fight the smile tugging at your lips. You bite your lip, thumbs hovering over the keyboard before finally typing back:
[you]: is that a threat, satoru?
The reply comes almost instantly, like he was waiting for you:
[gojo đ]: no baby, thatâs a promise.
You stare at the screen, heart hammering against your ribs.Â
Baby. God, youâre so done for.
And like he hasnât already made you melt enough tonight, he sends another message:
[gojo đ]: get some sleep, prettyÂ
You bury your face into your pillow with a squeal, kicking your feet into the mattress. You type back quickly before you lose your nerve:
[you]: goodnight, satoru. try not to miss me too much.
And a few seconds later:
[gojo đ]: too late.
[you]: careful, satoru. you're sounding real desperate rn.
You barely have time to smirk before he hits you with:
[gojo đ]: desperate?
[gojo đ]: for you? always.
And like he knows youâre losing it, he sends one more:
[gojo đ]: sleep tight, gorgeous.
[gojo đ]: dream of me.
[gojo đ]: i'll definitely be dreaming of you. (and if i wake up hard, it's your fault btw)
You scream into your pillow.
Your hands tremble as you type your final text:
[you]: sweet dreams, toru <3
[you]: maybe next time you wonât have to just dream ;)
And the moment you send it, you shut your phone off and toss it across the bed because thereâs absolutely no way youâre surviving if he replies. (He does. Five seconds later.)
[gojo đ]: fucking hell.
-
Satoruâs still staring at your last text. Eyes wide. Mouth parted.
maybe next time you wonât have to just dream
He drops his phone onto the bed with a dull thud, dragging both hands down his face.
"Goddammit," he breathes, tipping his head back against the headboard.
Youâre gonna kill him. Youâre actually gonna kill him.
He sits there for a good minute, struggling to breathe normally, heart hammering against his ribs, cock already half-hard just from that one text. (Just from a text. He's so far gone it's not even funny.)
"Pull it together, Gojo," he mutters, raking a hand through his messy hair.
But the moment he squeezes his eyes shut, itâs you he seesâsmiling up at him all coy, leaning in close, whispering things in that pretty voice you have, like you knew exactly what kind of mess you were leaving him in.
You did. You knew exactly what you were doing.
He groans, thunking his head back harder against the headboard, biting down a low, frustrated sound as your words loop endlessly in his brain.
Youâre driving him insane.
Before he can talk himself out of it, he shoves his sleep shorts down just enough and wraps a hand around his cock, cursing under his breath when he realizes how hard he already is.
Itâs wrong. He knows itâs wrongâyou havenât even properly kissed yet. But god, you're just so, so perfect. So effortlessly beautiful.Â
He squeezes his eyes shut tighter, his hand moving slowly, pretending itâs you insteadâyour hand wrapped around him, your body pressed close, your breath ghosting over his ear as you whisper all the filthy things he can barely even let himself imagine.
"Fuck," he hisses through his teeth, hips bucking up into his fist, desperate for more.
He canât help it.
Youâre in his head. Youâre under his skin. And heâs not even sure he wants to be saved.
His thighs tense, muscles flexing as he fists himself harder, chasing that high like a man starved. The sound of his breathâharsh and brokenâfills the room. Your name nearly falls from his lips like a prayer.
And when he finally comes, itâs with a soft, bitten-off moan, warmth spilling over his knuckles.Â
His mind blanks for a long, dizzy secondânothing but the feeling of you filling every corner of him.
He collapses back against the pillows, breathless. Staring at the ceiling like heâs just been fucking wrecked. Sweaty. Panting. His hand sticky and his soul halfway out of his body.
He drags a hand down his face again, groaning. "...I'm so fucking screwed," Satoru mutters to himself, glaring uselessly at the ceiling like itâs personally responsible for his downfall.
-
The sunlightâs barely filtering through his blinds when Satoru stirs awake, messy hair flattened against his forehead, phone slipping from his chest with a quiet thunk onto the mattress.
Groaning, he blindly pats around for it, eyes still crusted shut from sleep.
When he finally blinks them open, he sees the last thing he remembers: your text. The text that ruined his entire night.
He slaps a hand over his face and drags it down slowly, mumbling, âIâm going to hell.â
But because heâs an idiotâan idiot in loveâhe still unlocks his phone, thumbs hovering nervously over the screen.
He needs to text you. Needs to act normal. Needs to pretend he didnât almost cry last night over how fucking good it felt imagining you touching him.
He taps out a message, agonizing over every word:
[you]: good morning :) hope you slept well!
He stares at it for a second longer, wondering if he sounds too eager, then panics and deletes the smiley. Then retypes it. Then deletes it again.
Then sends it without the emoji because God forbid he looks like heâs about to propose or something.
He tosses his phone down and flops back against his pillows, staring up at the ceiling like it holds the answers to his sins.
Not even ten seconds pass before his phone buzzes. Heart slamming against his ribs, he fumbles to read it:
[sweetheart đ]: you too, toru. sweet dreams? ;)
He physically chokes. Coughs. Slaps his own chest like heâs trying to restart his heart.
âSweet dreamsâ?â he sputters aloud, horrified, voice cracking. âSWEETâ?â
The images from last night flash vividly in his mind: your lips, your breathy giggles, your hands sneaking lowerâ
He shoves his face into a pillow and screams.
When he finally peeks out, shame swirling in his gut, he types back with trembling hands:
[you]: sweetest dreams ever. totally normal. nothing weird about them at all.
And then he turns his phone face-down. Because he cannot. He cannot see what youâre going to reply.
Heâs so down bad it's physically painful.
-
You stare at your phone, biting your lip to hold back a grin.Â
Totally normal. Nothing weird about them at all.
Sure, Satoru. Sure.
You kick your feet a little under your blanket, giddy, heart thumping like crazy. You know exactly what youâre doing. You know exactly what youâre doing to him.
And youâre not done yet. You let him stew in his own panic for a few minutesâjust to watch him sufferâbefore tapping out a reply:
[you]: sounds like someoneâs overcompensating⌠;)
You hit send and immediately burst into laughter, flopping back into your pillows. You can practically imagine him screaming into his hands right now, scrambling to figure out what to say without incriminating himself even more.
And because youâre a menace, you follow it up:
[you]: itâs okay, toru. you can dream about me whenever you want <3
There. Youâve officially ruined his whole morning.
You toss your phone aside and stretch, feeling like you just hit a home run. But then your phone buzzes againâmultiple timesâand you grab it, giggling.
First, from Satoru:
[toru đ]: youâre evil. pure evil. iâm never sleeping again.
And then another, right after:
[toru đ]: coffee today? my treat. i need to see your evil little face or iâm going to combust.
You roll over onto your stomach, kicking your legs up behind you, cheeks aching from smiling so hard.
Maybe you are evil. But god, itâs so fun when heâs this easy to tease.
You tap out your reply, heart light:
[you]: only if you promise not to die before you get here.
-
It doesnât even take ten minutes before thereâs a knock at your door. You blink in surpriseâyou hadnât even changed yet.
Another knock, this time a little quicker, a little eager.
You pad over and crack the door openâand there he is.
Satoru, all messy hair, rumpled shirt, soft smile. Holding two coffees in his hands.
And looking at you like you hung the moon.
"Hi," he says, almost shyly. "Brought you a coffee."
You blink at him.
He fidgets, rocking on his heels. "I, uh... thought maybe we could, y'know, hang out a little. If youâre not busy."
Your heart melts a little at how hopeful he sounds.
"Youâre impossible," you tease, swinging the door wider.
"And you're stuck with me," he chirps, stepping inside like he belongs there.
You take one of the coffees from him, fingers brushing, and he beams like youâve just given him the greatest honor.
"Thanks," you say, smiling into your cup. "Even though you didnât have to."
"I wanted to," he says simply, plopping onto your couch with zero hesitation. (And he leaves way too little space for you, thigh already brushing yours.)
You sit down beside him, your shoulders bumping. He hums under his breath, swinging his legs a little like a kid whoâs gotten his favorite candy.
For a minute, itâs just the two of you, sipping coffee, the silence warm and comfortable.
And then, out of nowhere, he leans his head dramatically onto your shoulder.
You freeze for a second, heart skipping.
He sighsâloudlyâagainst you. "Youâre not gonna kick me out, right?"
You laugh, nudging him with your elbow. "Not if you behave."
"Thatâs asking for a lot," he grins, tilting his head up to look at you. His smileâs a little mischievous, a little boyish.
You roll your eyes, trying to hide your blush behind your coffee cup.
And because heâs shamelessâand he knows heâs winningâhe adds, voice low and teasing: "Maybe if you give me another goodbye kiss?"
You almost spill your coffee.
He sees itâthe way your fingers fumble, the way your face flushesâand smirks.
"C'mon," he teases, nudging your knee with his. "Wasn't that bad of an idea, was it?"
You narrow your eyes at him, tryingâfailingâto fight your smile. "You," you say, poking his chest, "are way too full of yourself."
"And yet..." Satoru leans in, slow, eyes locked on yours. His voice drops to a whisper. "...you're not moving away."
Your breath catches. Because he's rightâyouâre not. If anything, you're leaning in too.
For a moment, neither of you says anything. The room feels too quiet, too charged. You can hear his breathing, slow and steady, can feel the heat radiating off of him.
Satoruâs gaze drops to your mouthâand lingers there. "Can I?" he murmurs, so soft you almost donât catch it.
Your heart thuds loud in your chest. You nod.
Thatâs all he needs.
Slowly, achingly slowly, he closes the gap, giving you every chance to pull awayâbut you donât. You tilt your chin up, meeting him halfway.
When his lips finally brush yours, itâs gentleâbarely a kiss, more like a breath, a promise.
You sigh against him, and that tiny sound seems to undo him. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss just slightly, just enough to taste you. His hand comes up to cradle your cheek, thumb brushing over your skin so tenderly it makes your chest ache.
You kiss him back, slow and sweet, fingers curling into the soft fabric of his shirt.
It drags outâneither of you in any rush, savoring every second.
He kisses you like heâs afraid youâll vanish if he stops. And you kiss him like youâve been waiting forever for this moment.
When you finally, reluctantly, pull apart, you're both breathless. He presses his forehead against yours, grinning like an idiot. "So..." he whispers, voice a little hoarse. "Can I stay a little longer?"
You pretend to think about it, biting your lip to hide your smile. "Maybe," you tease. "If you behave."
He groans, flopping dramatically onto your couch again, tugging you down with him so you land half-on top of him, laughing.
"Not a chance," he says happily.
You're warm against him, tucked into his side, your head resting on his shoulder like you belonged there. And for a moment, Satoru feels like the luckiest man alive.
Until his brainâtraitorous, evil, rottenâreminds him.
Reminds him of how he spent last night fucking his fist like a deranged lunatic, thinking about you. Reminds him that you have no idea just how far gone he already is.
A quiet, horrified voice in his head: I'm a monster.
His throat goes dry.His hands twitch awkwardly where they rest on your waist, unsure if he should even be touching you like thisâuntil you shift, just slightly, peeking up at him with this sleepy little smile.
And just like that, every coherent thought leaves him. All that's left is you.
"You're comfy," you mumble against him, snuggling closer.
Satoru lets out a weak, broken little laugh, hiding his burning face against your hair.
If you only knew. If you only knew what you did to him.
He doesn't know how long he sits there with you tucked into him, drinking in your warmth. He could stay like this forever, he thinks. Hell, he wants to.
But then his phone buzzes.
He barely registers it, ignoring it at first. Until it buzzes again. And again.
He groans, reluctant, fishing it out of his pocket while you shift sleepily against him. The screen flashes: a reminder for his evening tutoring session he totally, utterly forgot about. He slumps.
"Something wrong?" you ask, voice soft, blinking up at him.
"I gotta go," he mutters like he's being forced into exile.
You bite back a smile, stretching lazily. "Duty calls?"
"Yeah." He pouts, actually pouts. "Stupid duty."
You laugh under your breath, and it's so unfair how easily you knock the air out of his lungs without even trying.
He stands reluctantly, dragging his feet like a kid leaving recess early.
"Hey," you call out. "Arenât you forgetting something?"
He turns around and blinks at you, confusion flickering across his faceâbut then you smile. Soft. Warm. Something just for him.
You step close, tiptoe a little to reach him. And Satoru swears, swears, his heart stumbles in his chest when you press a gentle kiss to his lips.
It's feather-light. Barely there. Sweet enough to make his knees almost buckle.
And when you pull back, a cheeky glint in your eye, he's just standing there. Frozen. Speechless. The stupidest grin pulling at his mouth.
"See you later, âToru," you say lightly, nudging him toward the door.
And all he can manageâvoice cracking slightly, heart hammering out of his chestâis a dazed "Y-Yeah. Later."
You shut the door behind him with a little wave, and he stands there for a good ten seconds before he finally remembers how to move.
-
Class feels different today.
Youâre hyper-aware of everything.
The way Satoru brushes his knee against yours under the table, all casual-like. The way his pinky keeps nudging yours on the desk until finally, finally, you relent and let your fingers curl around his. The way he keeps sneaking glances at you out of the corner of his eyeâand every time you catch him, he just smiles, like heâs getting away with something.
Itâs infuriating. Itâs adorable. Itâs Satoru.
You pretend to focus on the lecture. Really, you do. But itâs hard when you can feel the warmth of his hand ghosting over your thigh under the table, a barely-there touch that sends your heart skittering against your ribs.
By the time the professor starts wrapping up class, youâre halfway to combusting.
"Donât forget," she says, tapping the whiteboard, "project updates are due next week."
You scribble the deadline in your notes, but Satoruâs already turning toward you, practically bouncing in his seat.
"Hey," he says, voice pitched low enough that only you can hear. "How about we work on it at my place today?"
You blink, startled. "Your place?"
He grins, bright and boyish. "Yeah! First time for everything, right?"
The way he says itâlight, teasing, almost a little shyâmakes something flutter wildly in your chest.
"Itâll be chill," he continues. "We can grab some snacks, order takeout, maybe actually get stuff done this timeâ"
You narrow your eyes at him, suspicious. "Are you actually suggesting a productive study session or trying to lure me into a trap?"
He gasps, hand clutching dramatically at his chest. "Me? Lure you? Iâm offended." Then he drops the act, leaning in close, that mischievous spark lighting up his eyes. "But if you happen to end up in my lap or something, yâknow... destiny."
You shove him lightly, cheeks warming. "God, youâre insufferable."
"Face itâyou love this," he says, nudging your shoulder with his.Â
You roll your eyes so hard itâs a miracle they donât fall out of your head. Still...you find yourself smiling.
"Fine," you say, packing up your stuff. "But weâre actually working this time."
He pumps a fist in victory. "Yes! Bring that sexy brain of yours, princess. Weâre gonna kill this project."
You throw a crumpled sticky note at him. He catches it midair, flashing a grin that practically glows.
-
Youâre home, lounging on your bed, phone in hand.
The texting starts innocent enough.
[you]: what should I bring?
[toru đ]: just that pretty little self of yours
You roll your eyes, biting back a smile.
[you]: be serious
[toru đ]: i am. iâm dead serious. maybe a notebook too though lol
You roll your eyes, thumbs hovering over your screen. Before you can type anything else, another message pops up:
[toru đ]: also⌠try not to look too pretty
[toru đ]: kinda hard to focus when youâre around
You blink at the screen, heart skipping a beat. The sudden boldness makes you squirm a little under your covers.
Before you can even react, a third text follows:
[toru đ]: hereâs my address
A pinned location pops up. Followed byâ
[toru đ]: hurry over please
You stare at the messages, warmth blooming in your chest (and spreading lower, if you were honest).
You should probably be nervous. You should definitely be more cautious.
But all you do is grin, toss your phone onto the bed, and start getting ready.
-
You barely knock once before the door swings open.
And there he is.
Black tank top clinging to his chest, basketball shorts slung so low it should be illegal. Lean muscles on full display. Sleep-mussed white hair falling over his forehead.
You actually forget how to breathe. Your brain just... shuts down.
Satoruâs mouth twitches into a knowing smirk. He leans lazily against the doorframe, crossing his arms â muscles flexing, because of course they do â and tips his head at you.
âWell, well," he drawls, amusement dripping from every word. "Didnât think youâd be that easy to stun."
You blink â once, twice â scrambling to find your voice. "Iâm not stunned," you blurt out, way too fast to be convincing.
"Mhm," he hums, that smug little grin widening. "Sure. You just like standing on people's porches looking like you forgot your own name?"
You shove past him with a flustered scoff, cheeks burning. But you can feel his eyes trailing after you, slow and satisfied, as he shuts the door behind you.
"You didnât tell me the dress code was..." you flounder, gesturing vaguely at his entire existence, "thirst trap casual."
"Aw, you think Iâm a thirst trap?" he coos, stepping dangerously close â close enough that you have to tilt your head back to look at him properly.
"I think youâre an asshole," you snap â except your voice comes out all breathy, completely ruining the effect.
Satoru chuckles â a low, rich sound that vibrates all the way through you. "You can be honest, y'know. It's just us here." He leans down, dropping his voice into a whisper, "You like what you see."
You make a strangled noise in your throat and whirl around, pretending to inspect the living room like it's the most fascinating thing youâve ever seen. "Whereâs your project stuff?" you demand, heart thundering against your ribs.
"Wow," he says behind you, tone all fake-hurt. "Use me for my brain and ditch me for my abs. Brutal."
"You have a brain?" you retort, finally finding a shred of composure.
He laughs again â easy, bright â and brushes past you, the barest graze of his arm against yours sending your nerves into a frenzy.
"Come on, nerd," he calls over his shoulder, tossing a wink at you that almost knocks you off your feet. "Projectâs not gonna finish itself."
You huff, yanking your notebook out of your bag to try and hide the stupid, giddy smile pulling at your lips.
Youâre just barely settled on the couch, notebook balanced on your lap, when Satoru stretches â arms over his head, tank top riding up dangerously â and says, âActually... weâll have more space in my room."
You blink at him, heart skipping a beat. "Your room?" you repeat, raising an eyebrow.
He flashes a wide, shit-eating grin. "Yeah. Bigger desk. Better lighting."
You narrow your eyes, pretending to be skeptical. "Oh? Already trying to get me in bed?"
Satoru stops dead in his tracks â but only for half a second. Then he tosses a look over his shoulder, cocky and wicked. "Donât give me ideas," he says, voice low and playful.
Your cheeks burn so hot youâre surprised you donât spontaneously combust. But youâre stubborn â so you just huff and follow him anyway, ignoring the smug little chuckle he lets out as he leads you down the hall. And then you step into his room â and freeze.
Because itâs... itâs not what you expect. Sure, itâs a little messy â loose clothes on a chair, half-done laundry â but what really grabs your attention is the shelf. More specifically: the shelf packed with colorful little figures. Posters. Framed prints. All of it instantly recognizable.
"...Is thatâ" you start, pointing.
"Digimon," Satoru says immediately, like he's bracing himself for judgment.
You stare. You blink. And then â you laugh. Loud, bright, uncontrollable.
He groans, dragging a hand down his face. "I knew it. I knew you were gonna make fun of me."
You grin at him, unrepentant. "You? Cool, confident, six-foot-whatever Gojo Satoru... secret Digimon stan? Oh, this is gold."
"Itâs not secret," he grumbles, crossing his arms like a petulant kid. "Digimonâs fucking awesome. Better than PokĂŠmon. Better story arcs, deeper charactersâ"
"You sound so defensive," you giggle, stepping closer to inspect a particularly adorable stuffed Agumon perched on his bed.
He steps up beside you, bumping your shoulder lightly with his and picks up the plushie to toss it somewhere else. "You're lucky you're cute," he mutters, mock-threatening, "or Iâd kick you out right now."
You bite back a smile, feeling that fluttery, giddy warmth bloom in your chest again. Because for all his teasing, all his cocky bravado â thereâs something painfully endearing about how unapologetically himself he is. No hiding. No shame. Just... Satoru.
"Youâre such a nerd," you say fondly.
Satoru smirks, eyes glinting mischievously. "Yeah? Still think Iâm a thirst trap though?"
You sputter, flustered all over again â and he cackles, so pleased with himself itâs criminal.
God. You are so screwed.
You perch awkwardly on the edge of his bed, notebook in your lap again, pretending youâre not hyper-aware of how huge his bed is, how close he is, how the mattress dips slightly under his weight when he flops down next to you.
"Alright," he says, stretching lazily, flashing a sliver of toned stomach again. "Serious time. Project planning. Let's go."
You nod, throat a little dry. "Serious," you echo, flipping open the notebook. "No distractions."
"None whatsoever," he agrees solemnly.
You start brainstorming, scribbling notes in the margins, muttering ideas under your breath. For a few minutes, everythingâs fine. Normal. Until you feel it â the slight brush of his knee against yours. At first, you think itâs an accident. You shift slightly to the side.
But then it happens again. And again.
And then â Satoru leans closer, peering over your shoulder, his breath warm against your cheek. His hand rests casually on the bed behind you, fingers curling ever so slightly around the edge of your shirt.
You pretend to ignore it. Pretend so hard it almost works.
But then he hums low in his throat â a thoughtful, lazy little sound â and lets his hand slide up, fingers brushing lightly against your lower back, and your entire body tenses.
"'Toru..." you murmur, trying for stern, but it comes out way too breathy. You donât even look at him â you canât â because you already know what youâll find: those blue eyes, lazy and half-lidded, the ghost of a smirk tugging at his lips.
"Focus," you manage, tapping the notebook for emphasis.
He leans in, so close his nose almost brushes your temple, and murmurs in a voice so low it makes your stomach flip:
"You make it hard to."
His hand is bold now â fingers tracing slow, idle patterns over the dip of your waist, so gentle it leaves a trail of fire in its wake. Your breath stutters in your throat. You feel your heart hammer against your ribs.
You finally â finally â dare a glance at him.
And heâs looking at you like heâs starving.
For you.
The tension is a physical thing now, heavy and thick in the air between you. You swear you can hear the blood rushing in your ears.
"...You're unbelievable," you whisper, the notebook slipping from your fingers.
His smirk deepens, shameless. "You like it."
God help you â you do.
You scramble, trying desperately to recover your sanity, to remember why youâre even here in the first place. The project. The project, dammit.
You slap your palm over the notebook, pushing it toward him. "W-We should reallyâ really focus," you stammer, voice wobbling embarrassingly.
He just grins, slow and easy, that grin that makes you forget your own name.
"I am focused," he says, voice dropping into that low, teasing rasp. "Focused on you."
And before you can react, he shifts â the bed dipping under his weight as he gently crowds into your space.
Your breath catches.
He cages you in with a hand planted firm beside your hip, his other hand curling loosely around your wrist like heâs giving you the option to pull away â like heâs daring you to.
You donât. You canât.
Youâre frozen, wide-eyed, heart thudding like crazy.
His forehead presses lightly to yours, and you feel the whisper of his breath against your lips.
"You drive me crazy, y'know that?" he murmurs, voice impossibly soft. Every word vibrates through you.
You open your mouth â to say what, youâre not sure â but no sound comes out. Youâre too busy trying not to melt.
And then he moves. Sudden but gentle, he presses you down against the mattress, his body hovering above yours, careful not to crush you.
Your hands instinctively fly up to his chest â oh, God his chest â and you feel the steady pound of his heartbeat under your palms.
Heâs close now, so close you can see every detail of his face â the slight pink flush on his cheeks, the playful crinkle at the corners of his eyes, the way his pupils are blown wide with something between affection and hunger.
"Youâre so cute when you're flustered," he teases, and you want to hate him for it, you really do.
But you donât. You can't.
Instead, you fist your hands in the soft fabric of his shirt and squeeze your eyes shut, trying to will your racing pulse back to normal.
He chuckles, low and smug. Then â so lightly you almost think you imagined it â he brushes his nose along the side of your jaw, breathing you in.
"Youâre killing me," he whispers.
You whimper â actual, real, humiliating whimper â and he grins.
But he doesnât kiss you. Not yet.
He just stays there, letting the tension thicken, letting you squirm, savoring it.
Itâs agony. Itâs perfect.
You feel it â the exact moment his lips almost touch yours.
Itâs a whisper of a moment, barely-there, the ghost of contact that makes your whole body tense up in anticipation.
Heâs so close. So close you can taste the heat radiating off him, the sweet, addictive scent of his cologne, the lazy tilt of his grin as he leans inâ
And thatâs when you snap out of it.
At the very last second, you slip a hand between your bodies, planting your palm firmly against his chest to stop him.
His eyes fly open, confused, slightly wild.
You smile â sweet, smug â up at him.
"Uh-uh," you say, your voice still a little breathless but steady enough to make him narrow his eyes suspiciously. "Project first."
The sheer betrayal on his face.
"You've gotta be kidding me," he groans, dropping his forehead dramatically onto your shoulder like you just mortally wounded him. "I was so close, baby, c'monâ"
You cackle. Gojo finds it beautiful.
He lifts his head, leveling you with the most pathetic pout youâve ever seen. "You're evil," he accuses.
You just wiggle your eyebrows at him, smirking. "Should've thought about that before trying to seduce me in broad daylight, Gojo."
He collapses beside you with a dramatic huff, flopping back against the bed like his soul has been snatched from his body.
"Itâs almost 7. Unbelievable," he mutters. "This is harassment. I should sue."
You reach over, patting his chest twice, condescending and sweet. "There, there."
He turns his head, glaring at you â but the slight twitch of his lips gives him away.
"You owe me later," he says, pointing a finger at you like a solemn oath.
You hum, pretending to think it over, before shooting him a wicked little grin. "We'll see if you're good."
His groan is loud enough to rattle the bed.
You're absolutely thriving.
Youâre trying so hard to focus. You really are. Project notes scattered across the bed, laptop open, a half-written paragraph blinking at you like it's taunting your lack of progress.
And thenâ
"Break time!" Satoru declares, already tugging you off the bed by your wrist before you can even protest.
You stumble after him, laughing breathlessly. "Satoru, we barely got anything done!"
"Exactly why we need a break," he grins, dragging you toward the kitchen like a man on a mission. "Youâll thank me later."
You roll your eyes but let him haul you along, too curious (and maybe a little too charmed) to resist.
He lets go of your hand once you reach the kitchen and dramatically cracks his knuckles, looking far too proud of himself.
"Watch and learn, sweetheart," he says, shooting you a wink. "You're in the presence of greatness."
You snort, crossing your arms and leaning against the counter. "Oh yeah? You gonna burn the house down, master chef?"
He gasps â actually gasps â clutching his chest like you mortally wounded him. "You wound me."
You just laugh, watching as he rummages through the fridge with entirely too much flair, pulling out random ingredients and setting them on the counter.
"You're literally just making instant ramen," you point out dryly, but there's a smile tugging at your lips.
"Gourmet instant ramen," he corrects, wagging a finger at you. "With egg. And scallions. And a lilâ bit of love."
He tosses you another wink and you lose it, doubling over in silent laughter.
You lean back against the counter, arms folded, trying â and failing â to look unimpressed as he hums to himself, clattering pots around. Heâs in a black tank top and low-hanging shorts, muscles flexing casually with every movement, hair messy from dragging his hands through it.
And itâs... distracting. Way too distracting.
Especially when he starts cracking an egg one-handed like a cocky asshole.
"Show-off," you mutter under your breath.
"Donât act like youâre not impressed," he sing-songs, peeking at you from under snowy lashes, smug as hell.
You flip him off lazily. He just grins wider.
The kitchen fills with the scent of broth and spices, steam curling in the air. He moves with this effortless, chaotic sort of confidence â a little reckless, a little messy â but somehow everything comes together perfectly.
When he turns to you again, ramen bowl in hand, he looks so goddamn pleased with himself you want to laugh.
"See?" he says, stepping closer. "I'm basically husband material."
You tilt your head, raising a brow. "You make instant noodles and think you deserve a ring?"
"Handmade. Special edition. Enhanced with love." He winks, holding up the bowl like an offering. "You should be honored."
And even though you roll your eyes, you can't help the smile tugging at your lips â can't help the way your stomach flips stupidly as he steps even closer, towering over you with that lazy, confident grin.
-
You set the now-empty bowl down on the counter, nudging him with your elbow. "Since you whipped up such a gourmet meal, I guess the least I can do is the dishes."
Satoru leans back against the counter, grinning so wide it's almost embarrassing. "You spoil me."
You roll your eyes but start gathering up the dishes anyway, rinsing them under the tap. The warm water and simple task are oddly comforting, your movements easy, natural.
And from behind you, you can feel it â his gaze, warm and heavy, drinking you in like he's memorizing this moment.
Before you can even finish rinsing the second bowl, you feel him â long arms sliding around your waist, pulling you back into him, chest pressed against your back.
You huff a soft laugh, not bothering to fight it. "Needy much?"
He just hums, nose nudging into the crook of your neck, his hair tickling your skin. "You smell good," he mumbles, voice low and content.
"Why, thank you," you say, but itâs half a smile.
"I could get used to this," he murmurs, squeezing you a little tighter.
You finish up the dishes like that â his arms around you, his weight solid and comforting at your back, his soft little praises murmured into your ear in between.
"You're pretty," he says at one point, completely unprompted. "So pretty I don't know how I'm supposed to concentrate when you're around."
You duck your head, smiling to yourself, feeling your cheeks burn.
When you finally dry your hands and turn around to face him, he's already looking down at you with stars in his eyes, a little breathless like he can't believe you're real.
You loop your arms around his neck without thinking, tugging him a little closer, and he leans into it easily, lazily, like he's been waiting for this exact moment. "Can I kiss you yet?" he asks, grinning like an idiot, voice all hopeful and teasing.
You laugh, soft and fond, brushing your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. "Sure, loverboy."
And he doesn't waste a second â swooping down to finally, finally claim your lips in a kiss that's sweet and warm and a little clumsy with excitement, like he just canât hold it in anymore.
The moment your lips meet, itâs like something clicks into place.
At first, itâs a gentle brush of mouths, shy and smiling. He kisses you once, then twice, like he canât get enough, like heâs trying to memorize the shape of your mouth. But then you tilt your head just a little, arms tightening around his neck, and he groans â a low, helpless sound that rumbles against your chest.
And just like that, the kiss deepens.
His hands, which had been resting innocently at your waist, slide down â gripping your hips with a little more urgency, pulling you flush against him. You gasp softly into his mouth, and he takes full advantage, slotting his mouth over yours in a way that leaves your knees just barely holding you up. You feel it when his fingers flex, pressing you closer, when his body shudders lightly against yours.
God, heâs starving for you. You can feel it in the way he kisses â slow but hungry, like heâs been waiting for this, aching for it.
When he pulls back for just a breath, his forehead presses to yours, and his voice is ragged, wrecked. "Youâre gonna kill me," he whispers, before diving back in, more desperate this time.
You whimper into his mouth without meaning to, clutching at the front of his shirt, feeling the heat of him seeping into your palms.
Satoru groans again, hands sliding up your sides, thumbs brushing just under the hem of your shirt, skin to skin.
Itâs not rushed. Itâs not frantic. Itâs slow â simmering â like heâs savoring every second, like he wants this moment to stretch on forever.
And itâs only when his teeth gently tug at your bottom lip â when your breathing turns shallow and desperate against each other â that you finally, finally break away.
Both of you stand there for a second, breathing hard, faces flushed.
You feel dizzy. He looks completely wrecked.
Youâre both breathless when you pull apart, foreheads resting together, lips tingling.
Satoruâs hands are still on your waist, holding you close like heâs not ready to let go. You can feel the way his chest rises and falls against yours â shallow, like heâs trying to calm himself down.
He gives a short, breathy laugh. âJesus,â he mutters. âYouâre gonna be the death of me.â
You smile, dazed. âPretty sure thatâs mutual.â
Thereâs a beat of silence â heavy with everything unsaid â before he leans in again.
Hungrier. Rougher. Like heâs been holding back all night and canât anymore. His mouth moves over yours with unfiltered need, hands pulling you closer like itâs the only thing keeping him grounded.
You make a soft noise into his mouth, and it only spurs him on. The way he kisses you â itâs not perfect. Itâs messy and fast and desperate, teeth catching on your lower lip, hands gripping tight like heâs scared youâll slip away.
Your fingers wind into the fabric of his tank top, pulling him even closer until youâre practically wrapped around him.
He breaks the kiss just barely, lips brushing yours as he breathes out, âTell me if itâs too much.â
You shake your head. âItâs not. Iââ You swallow. âI want this. You.â
His expression softens for a split second before that heat comes rushing back. His mouth is back on yours, slower this time but no less intense â like heâs trying to memorize how you taste.
When his hand slips under your shirt and settles on the small of your back, warm and firm, you shiver.
He kisses you like he means it. Like he feels it.
And when you finally pull back again, breathless and flushed, he just smiles â eyes glassy, voice low.
âYou have no idea what youâre doing to me.â
You barely have time to catch your breath before heâs kissing you again.
No warning, no hesitation â just the searing press of his mouth against yours like heâs starving for it. Like he needs more. And you give in without thinking, letting him pull you closer until thereâs not a sliver of space left between your bodies.
His hands are on your waist, fingers tightening like heâs trying to anchor himself. And when your hands slide up his chest, over those broad shoulders, he groans into your mouth â low and wrecked.
Itâs dizzying, the way he kisses you. Every time you think heâll stop, he comes back for more â messier, deeper, rougher. Your fingers tangle in his hair as his lips trail down to your jaw, then your neck, slow and hot and reverent.
And then suddenly, he pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes.
His voice is breathless, raw. âHold on.â
Before you can ask what he means, he lifts you â effortlessly, like itâs the most natural thing in the world. You let out a startled gasp, arms wrapping around his neck as he carries you through the apartment. Your heartâs hammering so hard youâre sure he can feel it.
Heâs grinning now, cocky and breathless all at once. âI warned you Iâm husband material.â
âShut up,â you mutter against his neck, flustered beyond reason.
But thereâs no hiding the way your legs tighten around his waist.
He nudges his bedroom door open with his foot, stepping inside, and the second youâre both in, he sets you down gently. And just like that, heâs on you again â kissing you like heâs waited his whole life for this.
His mouth is still on yours when he shifts forward, slowly pressing you back until your knees hit the edge of the bed. You stumble slightly, gripping his arms for balanceâand the second your weight tips back, he goes with you.
The two of you collapse onto the mattress in a tangled mess of limbs and breathless laughter, but heâs quick to recover. Quick to pin you there beneath him, hands braced on either side of your head, his hips snug between your thighs.
He looks down at you like heâs never seen anything more beautiful.
And then that glint returnsâdangerous and wicked and so unlike the stammering nerd you met on day one.
âYou have no idea what you do to me,â he breathes, voice low and rough in your ear.
You shiver.
His lips find the side of your neck again, and this time they donât lingerâthey devour. Hot, open-mouthed kisses that make your back arch, that pull quiet, helpless sounds from your throat. His hands wander too, slow at first, fingertips tracing the curve of your waist, your hips, every line and dip he can find.
You reach for him, needing moreâbut he grabs your wrists, pins them gently above your head with one hand.
âNuh-uh,â he smirks. âIâm in charge now.â
Youâre just about to sass him when he dips down again, this time trailing kisses down your collarbone. Then lower. He peppers slow, aching kisses across your chest, teasing the hem of your top with his free hand.
And then he sits up, straddling your hips, eyes practically burning.
âCan I tell you a secret?â he asks, and itâs a loaded question.
You nod.
He leans down, lips brushing the shell of your ear. âI jacked off to the thought of you the other night.â
Your breath catchesâyour whole body burns.
âAfter that text you sent,â he goes on, voice like velvet laced with sin. âYou have no idea what you did to me. I read it once and couldnât stop imagining it. Youâwhispering in my ear like that, all sweet and smug and filthy.â
He moves again, kisses dragging hot and slow down the slope of your neck, and then your chest, until heâs tugging your shirt up and over your head.
âI was in bed,â he murmurs. âOne hand on my phone. The otherâŚâ He lets the implication hang, but his hand slips down your thigh, then up again, teasing, until your breath comes in sharp gasps.
âI was thinking about you,â he says. âAbout your voice. About what youâd look like straddling me, telling me what you wanted while I fucked up into you so slow.â
Your hips buck at thatâand god, the smirk that pulls at his lips should be illegal.
He starts undressing you slowly, worshipping, like every piece he reveals is a treasure. âI need you,â he breathes, forehead pressed to yours. His voice is hoarse, eyes searching yours like he needs you to understand.Â
The kiss that follows is devastatingâopen-mouthed and hungry, a collision of breath and teeth and need. Youâre clawing at his clothes like they personally offended you, yanking at the hem of his shirt with fumbling fingers and a frustrated groan.
âOff,â you hiss against his lips.
He laughs, breathless, tugging it over his head and tossing it aside, revealing smooth skin and defined muscle, the dip of his waist disappearing into those loose shorts you suddenly despise.
You push at them with impatient hands, and he grinsâcocky, flushed, wrecked and loving every second of it. âDesperate, huh?â he teases, voice still husky from the kiss.
âYouâre one to talk,â you shoot back, dragging your nails down his sides. âYouâre not exactly subtle, loverboy.â
Heâs all hands again thenâroaming your body, trailing heat in their wake as he presses you down into the bed, lips never far from your skin. Every motion is frantic and reverent all at once, like heâs starving but determined to savor every inch of you.
You push at his chest gently, and he lets you, eyebrows raised in surprise as his back hits the mattress.
âOh?â he breathes, propping himself up on his elbows. âTaking control now?â
âDidnât you say I killed you the other night?â you murmur, crawling between his legs with a sly smile. âFigured I should finish the job.â
His eyes darken immediatelyâheat blooming in them so fast itâs dizzying. âYou have no idea what youâre doing to me.â
You doâbecause the second your hands slide up his thighs, heâs already sucking in a breath, already biting back a groan. His abs tense under your touch, his head tipping back as he watches you through lidded eyes, gaze glazed over with anticipation.
âYou been thinking about this, âToru?â you ask softly, dragging your nails lightly along the waistband of his shorts.
He swallows thickly. âEvery night.â
And when you finally tug his waistband down, your breath catches.
He's thick, long and heavy, flushed a pretty pink at the tip, and already straining toward you like heâs been waiting for this moment forever. Your mouth parts without thinking. You donât even realize youâre staring until he lets out a shaky, nervous laugh. Your hands wrap around him and his hips instinctively buck upwards.
âFuckfuckfuckfuck,â he mutters, voice gravelly.
Heâs already goneâchest rising and falling in short, sharp breaths. His hands clutch the sheets when you lean in, letting your tongue flick across the swollen head, tasting him.Â
âOh fuckââ
You take your time. You donât give him all of it, not yet. You swirl your tongue around the tip, teasing the slit until he hisses between clenched teeth. He jolts when you lick a slow stripe along the underside, right at the base where itâs most sensitive, your fingers cradling him, gentle and thorough.
He groansâloud and rawâand you feel his hands fist the sheets tighter.
âYouâre killing me,â he pants, head tipping back, voice nearly wrecked.
And still, you donât rush. You bob your head slowly, steadily, sinking down deeper with each pass until his abs tighten and he moansâloud, desperate. You feel him twitch on your tongue, hear the soft, breathy curse that falls from his lips as you wrap your hand around him and roll your wrist just right. You squeeze his balls and he nearly sobs.
You glance up through your lashes, and the sight of himâhead tossed back, jaw clenched, face flushed, his entire body shaking with restraintâis seared into your memory.
You donât take your eyes off him, not even as you hollow your cheeks and take him deeper. Heâs so closeâyou can feel it in the way his thighs tense, the way his breath stutters, the broken sound he makes when you moan around him.
âFuckâbaby, Iâm gonnaââ
You donât stop. You want it. Want to see him fall apart. And he does, with a choked groan that rips out of his chest as he spills into your mouth, hot and thick. His hand flies to your hair, not to pull you awayâbut to keep you there, his hips giving the slightest jerk as he rides it out. You swallow it all only pulling off when he starts to twitch. And when you finally draw back, lips slick and chin damp, he looks completely undone.Â
âHoly shit,â he breathes, dazed.Â
You just smile sweetly and wipe the corner of your mouth with your thumb.
Heâs still catching his breath when you go to pull back fully, smug and satisfied. âMm-hm,â he hums, voice rough and curling with mischief. His hand catches your wrist, firm but gentle. âMy turn, sweetheart.â
You blink. âOh?â
Before you can tease him back, he movesâeffortlessly. One arm wraps around your waist, the other plants on the bed, and in a single fluid motion heâs pulling you up, flipping you like you weigh nothing and settling you inches away from his face. You squeakâactually squeakâas your knees plant on either side of his head.
âSatoruââ
âShh.â He grins, that ridiculous confident smirk plastered across his flushed face. âSit, baby. Be good for me.â
He gives your ass a squeeze, encouraging, eyes gleaming up at you. You hesitate for half a second and he adds, voice dipped low and sinfully sweet,
âYou got to have your fun.â
Then he pulls you down.
His mouth is on you immediatelyâhot and unrelenting. Tongue flicking, lips sealing around your clit as he groans like you taste better than anything heâs ever had. His hands grip your thighs, fingers digging into soft flesh, holding you there like heâs starving and youâre the feast. And when your hips twitch, instinctively trying to lift offâhe drags you right back down.
âOh no, sweetheart,â he murmurs against you, voice muffled and vibrating through your core, âI said sit.â
Youâre braced against the headboard now, knees shaking, thighs clenched tight around his head as you grind downâslow at first, then faster, chasing that high with ragged breath and trembling limbs.
Heâs not just letting you. Heâs encouraging it.
Big hands grope your ass, fingers digging in, guiding you against his mouth like he wants you to lose it. His tongue moves with practiced precision, sucking and flicking, drawing soft whimpers and broken gasps from your lips as your body arches.
You glance down again and the sight nearly finishes youâhis eyes half-lidded and dazed, cheeks flushed, hair a total mess from how many times youâve tugged on it.
He looks wrecked. But heâs moaning like heâs in heaven. Like this is exactly where he wants to be.
And then he says itâmuffled, half-choked, voice thick with lust and absolutely feral. âSo fucking sweet.â
You grind harder, hips rolling, and he groans into you.
He doesnât care if he canât breathe. Doesnât care if heâs dizzy. Doesnât care if youâre seconds from suffocating him. Heâs already decided this is how he wants to go out.
Buried between your thighs, mouth full of you, hands holding you down like youâre sacred.
And when you finally breakâback arching, eyes fluttering shut, thighs clamping around his head as your orgasm crashes through youâhe doesnât stop. Not for a second.
He rides it out with you, tongue still moving, swallowing every sound you make.
When he finally lets go you collapse beside him, completely spent, your body still trembling in the aftermath. Your cheek presses into the pillow, breath catching in your throat as you try to come back to yourself. Satoru shifts next to you, propping himself up on one elbow. He brushes your hair back gently, eyes soft, and asks quietly,
âYou okay?â
You nod, still catching your breath. âYeah. Justâholy shit.â
He huffs a small laugh and leans down to kiss your shoulder, warm and unhurried. âGood.â
You feel him watching you for a second longer, like heâs making sure youâre really alright. You stretch out, boneless and warm, assuming this is the part where you both wind down.
But then his hand slides down your back.
You feel him shift behind you, and when you glance over your shoulder, his expressionâs changed. Still gentleâbut focused. Hungrier.
âYou done?â he asks softly, voice right at your ear now.
You blink. âI⌠thought we were.â
He smiles, and itâs a little crooked, a little smugâbut not cocky. Just him.
âNot even close.â
Before you can respond, his hands are on your hips, guiding you forward. You let him, moving onto your knees again, bracing your hands against the headboard as the mattress shifts beneath you. He settles behind you slowly, fingers trailing up your sides. The air changesâmore intimate now, more intense.
âYou okay like this?â he murmurs.
You nod.
âGood.â He kisses the back of your neck. âHold on to something.â
He settles behind you again, one hand steady on your hip, the other guiding himself down. You feel the slow drag of him through your foldsâwarm, thick, and deliberate. You suck in a breath, hips twitching slightly. But he doesnât press in. Just rocks forward enough to slide himself through you again. And again.
Your fingers curl tighter around the headboard. ââŚSatoru,â you breathe.
âMhm?â His voice is low, calm. Way too calm for what heâs doing.
You try to push back into him, but he keeps you where he wants youâjust a firm, gentle grip at your hip keeping you still.
Heâs quiet for a moment. You glance over your shoulder and catch the look on his face: focused, a little tense, clearly feeling itâbut taking his time anyway.
âYouâre doing that on purpose,â you mutter.
A breath of a laugh leaves him. âYeah. Kind of.â
Your forehead drops forward. ââToruâŚâ
He groans softlyâjust a little, like heâs trying not toâbut doesnât stop. Just drags himself over you again, slower now. âGod, you feel good,â he mutters. âI just⌠give me a second.â
You shift again, needy and frustrated, and he finally stills behind you, tip resting right where you want him. You both freeze.
ââŚYou okay?â he asks quietly.
You nod, exhaling hard. âPlease.â
Thereâs a beat. And then he leans forward, lips brushing your shoulder, voice quiet and serious against your skin. âYeah. I got you. Just spread âem a bit for me⌠yeah, thatâs it.â
He eases in with that first, deep strokeâslow enough to feel every inch of him push through your walls. The stretch burns just a little, but the heat in your core blooms even hotter. Heâs thick, heavy, and you feel every vein drag along your inner walls, textured and pulsing, making your whole body clench around him without thinking.
Behind you, Satoru groansâlow and raw, like itâs dragging out of his chest. âGod⌠you feel unreal,â he mutters, breath shaky.
He holds still once heâs fully inside, his hips pressed against the swell of your ass, his hand flexing on your waist like heâs trying not to move too fast. His cock twitches inside you and you gasp at how full you feelâyour body stretched and throbbing around him, nerves lighting up from the inside out.
âOkay?â he murmurs, lips brushing the back of your shoulder.
You nod, voice barely there. âYeah. Justâfuck, Satoru.â
He pulls out slow, almost all the way, and you feel every ridge of him drag against your soaked walls. Then he sinks back in with a soft grunt, and you swear you feel him throb againâyour body squeezing around him on instinct.
The pace he sets is slow but deep, grinding into you just right, the friction steady and maddening. Your thighs are trembling already, your hands gripping the headboard like itâs the only thing keeping you grounded.
Every time he pushes in, his cock presses against that spongy spot deep inside you, and every time he pulls out, itâs this slow, deliberate scrape that leaves you gasping. Thereâs no space left between youâjust wet heat and tension, pressure building with every stroke.
And thenâhis hand moves. Slides down from your waist, slipping between your legs, fingers finding your clit with no hesitation. The first pass is light, almost teasing.
You jolt. âSatoruâ!â
âI got you,â he says quietly, like a promise. His thumb circles you, slow and tight, while his other hand braces your hip steady against him. And all the while, he keeps fucking into youâdeeper now, rhythm starting to slip, strokes a little rougher, his breath coming harder against your skin.
âYou feel so good around me,â he murmurs, thumb pressing down just a little harder. âSo warm. So tight. You keep squeezing me like that, babyâfuck.â
Your whole body is shaking now, moaning helplessly as his fingers keep working your clit, dragging you closer and closer to the edge. Every stroke is slick, deep, devastating. You can hear the wet sounds of him sliding in and out of you, the soft slap of skin, his strained breathingâyour own whimpers growing louder with every thrust.
The pressure builds sharp and fast, your body locking up as your orgasm crashes toward youâ
And Satoruâs still going. Still thumbing your clit, still grinding his cock into you like he canât get enough.
Your body tightens around him without warning, breath catching as the pleasure crestsâsharp, blinding, unstoppable. You cry out, head dropping as your orgasm rips through you, muscles clenching so hard around his cock that it knocks the air out of both of you.
âOh myâfuck, thatâs itââ Satoru groans, stuttering inside you as your walls flutter and squeeze around him.
Youâre still shaking, coming down from the high, when he slowsâlets you ride it out, then carefully pulls out, the sudden emptiness making you gasp. You barely have time to blink before heâs flipping you onto your back like you weigh nothing.
He spreads your thighs open, throws your legs over his shoulders, and lines himself up again with a low, strained breath. His eyes meet yoursâstill soft, but blown wide, jaw tight with restraint. Thereâs nothing teasing left in him now.
He doesnât ask this time. Doesnât wait. He thrusts back in hardâdeepâand keeps going.
No more slow buildup. No more holding back. Just relentless, steady driveâhis hips snapping into yours over and over, the wet sound of skin meeting skin filling the room.
You gasp, fingers flying to his forearms as he leans over you, caging you in. His pace is brutal now, almost punishing, but it never stops feeling goodâthe angle perfect, the pressure hitting deep with every stroke.
âSatoruââ you sob, voice cracking.
He groans through gritted teeth, muscles tense, hips moving like heâs possessed. âYouâre soâfuckingâtight.â
You can barely think. Your legs tremble over his shoulders, body arching with every thrust, your orgasm still making aftershocks ripple through you.
He reaches down between you again, hand slipping to your clit like itâs second natureâhis thumb moving in tight, fast circles that make your back arch off the bed. âYou gonna give me another one?â he pants, voice rough and shaking. âCome on, sweetheartâI know you can.â
You donât even answer. You canât. The pressureâs already building againâtoo fast, too much, your body barely holding on as he keeps fucking into you like heâs been waiting for this all night.
You feel him twitch inside you, hear his breathing hitchâbut he still doesnât come. Heâs chasing you again, driving into you like your pleasure is the only thing that matters.
You donât know how he keeps going like this. His pace is ruthless, hips pistoning into you like heâs been starving for itâbut itâs the focus that kills you. Heâs watching every twitch in your body, every gasp, every time your walls flutter around him like heâs memorizing it.
Then he shiftsâleans in until your knees are almost pinned to your chest, folding you in half under him. The new angle makes you cry out, his cock hitting impossibly deep, your body arching beneath the weight of him. âYou feel that?â he breathes, voice rough and close to a growl now. âSo deep inside you, baby. Just like this.â
And thenâhis mouth is on your chest. You gasp when he takes your nipple between his lips, tongue circling, sucking slow and steady while his hips never stop. The hot pull of his mouth makes your toes curl, especially when his free hand moves to palm your other breastâthumb brushing over the sensitive peak, fingers squeezing just enough to make you whimper.
Itâs too much. Youâre overstimulatedâhis cock still driving into you, thumb still tight and unrelenting on your clit, his mouth sucking, teasing, biting gently down before soothing with his tongue.
Pleasure spikes sharp and fast, and itâs not buildingâitâs crashing. Your entire body locks up as the heat inside you explodes again, white-hot and shattering, a sob wrenching out of your throat. âFuckâSatoruâ!â Your cunt clenches tight around him, waves of pleasure ripping through you, and he feels it. You feel him falter, his rhythm breaking as he groans like youâve just knocked the wind out of him.
âShitâfuckâfuck, Iâmâ,â he doesnât even finish the sentence before heâs coming too, hips jerking as he spills inside you with a choked moan. You can feel him pulsing deep inside, every twitch of his cock matching the aftershocks still tearing through you.
He holds you tight through it, arms wrapped around your back, forehead pressed to your shoulder as you both shake through the comedownânothing but breathless curses filling the room.
You donât even realize your eyes have fluttered shut until you feel him shift, just a gentle repositioning of his weight as he carefully pulls outâslow, like he doesnât want to hurt you. You wince, breath catching at the sting, and immediately his voice is there, low and warm in your ear. âHey, you with me?â
You nod faintly, your body boneless, brain melted, heart still pounding. He kisses your shoulderâonce, twiceâand gently lowers your legs from where theyâre still draped over him, massaging your thighs like he knows theyâre trembling.
âOkay,â he murmurs. âIâll be right back, yeah? Donât move.â
You canât even laugh at that. He gets up anyway, grabbing the closest towel and heading to the bathroom, still totally naked, completely unbothered. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror across the roomâhair a mess, chest flushed, thighs shakingâand you groan, flopping back against the sheets.
By the time he returns, youâre still half out of it, and he just smiles, fond and lazy as he nudges your legs apart again. âEasy,â he whispers, wiping you down gently, taking his time like youâre made of glass now. âYou did so good for me, baby. So fucking good.â
You sigh as he finishes, and the second heâs done, he tosses the towel and climbs back into bed with youâpulling you against his chest, arms wrapped tight around your waist like heâs anchoring himself. You melt into him, cheek pressed against his collarbone and he grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.
A pause. ThenââYouâre unreal, you know that?â he murmurs. âI mean, I already knew, butâJesus.â
You roll your eyes, lips twitching. âYouâre just saying that âcause I made you come so hard you forgot your own name.â
âSweetheart,â he says solemnly, âDonât be mean.â
You laughâtired, softâand he smiles at the sound.
Then quieter: âYouâre incredible.â He leans in, presses a kiss to your forehead.
You bury your face in his chest, heart warm and too full. âStop being sweet,â you mumble.
âNever.â He grins.
You donât say anything for a while. Just breatheâslow and steadyâas his hand runs gently along your back, grounding you. The roomâs quiet now, save for the soft hum of the city outside the window, and the faint rustle of sheets as you both settle into the aftermath. He shifts just enough to pull the blanket higher over the two of you, tucking you in without saying a word.
Your eyes are heavy, but you blink them open to look at him. Heâs already watching youâmessy hair, flushed cheeks, the ghost of a smile on his lips like he canât quite believe youâre real.
âWhat?â you murmur, voice rough with sleep.
He shrugs a little, eyes soft. âNothing. Just⌠youâre kinda perfect, yâknow?â
You snort under your breath, too tired to fight it. âDonât start.â
He chuckles, nose brushing your hair as he tucks you in closer. âI wonât. Promise.â
Thereâs a pause, just the two of you breathing in sync, his thumb stroking slow circles into your hip. âStay here tonight,â he whispers.
âBut âToru⌠we have class tomorrow.â
He groans dramatically into your skin. âLetâs bunk.â
You snort. âYou say that every time.â
âBecause itâs the right answer every time.â He lifts his head enough to look at you, hair sticking up in every direction, eyes still heavy-lidded but shamelessly clingy. âCâmon. Itâs late. Just stay.â
You hesitate, even though youâre already leaning toward yes. He catches that and nudges his knee between yours, coaxing you closer.
âIâll set an alarm,â he adds. âYou can wear one of my shirts. Iâll even make you coffee in the morning.â
You huff a quiet laugh. âAre you trying to bribe me?â
He shrugs. âDidnât think I had to.â
You roll your eyes, but youâre already settling in again, your cheek resting over his heartbeat. âFine,â you murmur. âBut if we oversleep, Iâm blaming you.â
He hums, content. âThatâs fair.â
So you stay like thatâcomfortable and a little too in love to care about anything. And with Satoruâs arms around youâhis breath steady against your skin, his presence anchoring youâyou drift off. No words needed. Just safe. Just held.
Perfect.
author's note. whoever started the nerdjo agenda, i owe you my firstborn child
please do not steal, modify, or translate my work.
#ummmm i love this so much i started reading it after i woke up in the morning#and decided to take a wfh day because i didnât want to stop and loved it so much đđđđđđđđ
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you ever draw someone so hard you ride them?
pairing â star player satoru x broke artist reader
synopsis : after months of being your muse, satoru finally flips the table and makes you his canvasâreverent, hungry, and utterly devoted. you spent weeks capturing his form; now he worships yours, whispering that you are the masterpiece.
wc â 3.5k tags â smut, fluff, university au, pining, finally touching, soft dom satoru, service top satoru, hand worship, oral (f receiving), mirror sex, slow burn payoff, first time, established relationship, emotional smut, he loves you so much itâs sick, you lets yourself be loved, gentle filth, satoru is down so bad itâs pathetic
a/n: yes. this is the smut for free throws & figure drawings. i couldnât add smut in the original oneshot, but these two never left me alone, the part two which includes their life after college is still in the making!
eight months in.
thatâs how long it takes before satoru touches you like this.
not because you werenât ready. not because he wasnât. but because heâs a golden-retriever-faced menace who waitedâwaitedâuntil your need outweighed your pride. he could tell. he always could. and he never pushed, never asked, never made you feel cornered. just circled closer every day like gravity, like fate. one teasing comment at a time. one lazy smirk, one thigh brush, one perfectly timed stretch of his jersey in your face. every moment so casual. calculated. loving. he gave you time to breathe, time to bloom.
he made it a game. but not one he ever planned to win fast.
heâd kiss you slow in the halls, hand in your back pocket, mouth curling into your neck just to feel you twitch. heâd crawl into your bed after practice, shirtless, smelling like sweat and mint gum and expensive laundry detergent. heâd grin like a devil and mouth at your collarbone like he was innocent. always stopping short. always leaving you throbbing, breathless, caught between a gasp and a growl. and heâd laugh when you shoved him away, cheeks pink, thighs pressed tight, muttering something vicious under your breath. and then he'd say something stupid like, "it's cute when you fluster," as if you weren't already melting inside.
satoru gojo is shameless. but heâs also patient. reverent. completely and utterly yours.
he never tried to touch what you werenât ready to give. not once. not even when you straddled his lap in the studio, thighs framing his hips while you adjusted the light for your latest sketch. not when you fell asleep with your hand in his shirt and your face in his throat. not when your breath hitched the first time he kissed the base of your spine, or when your hips unconsciously pressed against him during a late-night cuddle. heâd grin, yes. heâd tease. but heâd always stop. always wait. because he wanted you to feel safe. he wanted you to choose.
because he knows how much you overthink. how long you spent folding your love into corners, how tightly you hold your own body together, like itâs a project you havenât quite finished. youâre an artistâyour hands are your pride, your purpose. and he knows that too. better than anyone.
he fell in love with them first.
long before you ever let him in, he was already watching the way you curled your fingers when you thought, the way you rubbed your thumb over your pencil before sketching, the way paint smudged the edges of your knuckles like a secret only he was meant to see. he watches them like a man starved. kisses them when you let him. cradles them like they might shatter. memorizes the little freckle on your index finger and the groove of your palm. calls them magic. says they saved him.
"you know you could ruin me with these," heâll murmur sometimes, his lips brushing the heel of your palm. "all that talent, all that precision, and you use them to paint me?" his smile is crooked. adoring. "no one's ever been so lucky."
and when you look away, flustered, pretending not to care, he kisses the dip of your wrist and whispers, "iâd let you wreck me. just say the word."
but he waits.
days turn to weeks, then months. your sketchbooks fill with him. you pretend they donât. he pretends not to notice. he starts bringing snacks to your sessions, then full meals. makes you take breaks. kisses the stress from your forehead. lays his head in your lap and lets you draw in peace. he runs errands for you. he fixes your squeaky cabinet. he folds your laundry, badly. he doodles in your margins when you aren't looking and gets scolded every time.
he never asks for more.
and still, he waits.
until one night, you pull him into your bed.
not like usual. not with the intent to sleep. not with your body curled toward the wall and his arm tossed carelessly around your waist.
no. this time, you kiss him first.
this time, your mouth is open and soft and wanting, your hands sliding under his shirt like youâre memorizing the ridges of his stomach. and for one suspended breath, he freezes. just to make sure you mean it. his lashes flutter. his breath stills. his hand hovers above your thigh, waiting.
and you do.
because for once, you arenât overthinking. you arenât afraid. you want him. you trust him. more than youâve ever trusted anyone.
and the moment your back hits the sheets, heâs all over you.
knees planted wide between your legs, hands everywhere, mouth hot and eager as it trails kisses down your body. his eyes are bright and ravenous, that blue burned down to smoke, lips already slick from the kisses he's stolen. his hands shake, just barely. like he canât believe heâs allowed to touch. like he doesnât want to ruin anything by rushing.
"took you long enough," he breathes, voice shot to hell as he watches you peel your shirt off. his gaze drags over your chest, reverent. like youâre light. like youâre art. like youâre his. something in him breaks a little, seeing you like this. bare. willing. glowing.
"youâre so annoying," you mutter, breathless, smiling despite yourself.
"mmhm," he hums, nuzzling against your neck. "but youâre still letting me fuck you. canât be that bad."
your glare doesnât land. not when heâs pressing you into the mattress, nosing at your jaw, whispering, âbeen dreaming about this. you, under me, making all those noises you try so hard to hold in.â
he kisses your hands first. of course he does. each finger, with reverence. your palm, with warmth. your wrist, with devotion. he presses them to his chest like theyâre sacred. says something about how theyâve built whole worlds. says he wants to earn every touch.
he doesn't just want you.
he cherishes you.
and fuck, you are noisy.
it drives him insane.
satoru hears it before his mouth even touches you. that soft, hitched breath when his hands slide beneath your thighs, calloused fingertips dragging slow and reverent like he wants to learn the shape of your tremble. the little gasp you try to swallow when he kisses the sensitive skin above your knee, letting his lips linger there too long, humming softly as if he's savoring something decadent. the sound that breaks from your throat when his thumb barely brushes over your folds and finds you soaked â it has him swearing under his breath, jaw going tight, shoulders tensing as though heâs barely keeping himself leashed.
his groan is guttural, lodged deep in his chest, like it takes effort to keep himself from diving in right then. his eyes are hooded, lashes clinging to sweat-slick skin, pupils blown wide beneath strands of silver hair that stick to his damp temple. his mouth is parted, a bead of spit catching on his bottom lipâalready pink from where he's been biting it raw. his expression flickers, moment to moment: awe, hunger, something like devotion. he looks like a man seconds from prayer and sin all at once.
âmm,â he hums low, dragging a knuckle through your slick. his thumb ghosts over your clit but doesnât linger yet. âyou always get this messy when i just look at you?â
your thighs twitch. your jaw clenches. your hands fist into the sheets, trying not to give him the satisfaction. but your eyes flutter half-shut and your lips part around a breath that catches anyway.
âdonât narrate it,â you mumble, voice shaking, already unraveling.
he laughs into your skin, hot breath ghosting over the inside of your thigh, and his grin is all teeth and mischief.
âcanât help it,â he murmurs, dragging his mouth lower. âyouâre too fuckinâ cute when you try to be mad at me.â
his palms slide behind your thighs, thumbs smoothing over your skin as he eases you apart, spreading you open like youâre something sacredâhis. the air hits your wetness and your body jerks, but heâs already lowering himself, settling between your legs like itâs his home.
his eyes roam every inch of you before he even touches. he stares, quiet for once, like he wants to memorize the way you look right now, how flushed you are, how your chest rises with shaky breath.
âshit,â he whispers, licking his lips. âyouâre unreal.â
you breathe his name again, soft, tentative. he glances up, and when your eyes meet, his smile softens into something molten.
âshhh,â he says, lips brushing your skin. âjust lemme taste you, baby. wanna make you feel good.â
and then he devours you.
no teasing. no hesitance. just tongue, mouth, hunger.
he groans like heâs been starved, like every inch of his body is aching to have this. he buries his mouth in you and licks like heâs drowning and the only thing keeping him breathing is you. his tongue is hot and slow at first, dragging between your folds, mapping out every part of you. and then deeper, messier, hungrier.
his nose nudges the crease of your thigh and he exhales sharply through it, groaning as his tongue circles your clit and flicks just right. your hips jump and he grins, lips curved against your skin.
when you moan, broken and high-pitched, his lashes flutter and his eyes roll back, like the sound of you is enough to undo him. he tightens his grip on your thighs, keeping you still while he feasts. you feel his jaw flex, the sharp edge of his cheekbone brushing your thigh with every movement.
he pulls back just a moment, lips slick, breath ragged, eyes glazed.
âyou make the prettiest sounds,â he breathes, voice thick, reverent. âc'mon, donât hide them from me. wanna hear everything.â
his tongue returns, more focused now, lapping and sucking in rhythm. you twitch beneath him, thighs clenching, and he lets out a low, gravelly noise of satisfaction. his lashes flutter again, mouth working hungrily, jaw moving with purpose.
âmmm,â he hums against you, smirking. âtastes better than any fuckinâ sweet iâve had. shouldâve done this sooner.â
your hand flies to his hair, tugging without thinking, and he groans loudâvibrating straight through you. his shoulders shudder, like he wants to grind himself into the mattress just from your sounds alone.
âfuck,â he breathes, and the tip of his nose bumps your clit again as he speaks. âpull harder. make a mess of me.â
thenâwithout warning, without mercyâhe sinks two fingers inside you.
thick. slow. deep. curling like he knows exactly where you need him.
your back bows. your breath stutters. your body arches up into him, and you make a sound heâs never heard from you beforeâwrecked and raw. his free hand anchors you down, palm spread flat against your stomach like heâs holding you to the earth.
âlook at you,â he groans, eyes flicking up to watch your face. âso fuckinâ tight. like youâre made to take me.â
his fingers work a slow, maddening rhythm inside you, knuckles dragging firm as his tongue flicks your clit in sync. the room is too hot. your vision swims. your thighs shake beneath his mouth.
he watches every twitch, every breath you catch, every expression you canât hide. he looks wreckedâhair damp and curling against his temples, lips swollen and slick, jaw sharp with tension.
he pants against your cunt, voice breaking.
âclose,â he murmurs. âi know. i can feel it. fuck, baby, gimme it. let me have all of it.â
you shatter.
legs trembling, voice cracking. your orgasm crashes through you like thunder, loud and bright and soaked, and he moans into itâdesperate and unfiltered, mouth still moving, tongue still pressing through every wave. your body jolts with every aftershock, thighs shaking around his head, hands twitching against his shoulders. your fingers go slack in his hair, your voice frayed.
his fingers donât leave you. they ease, slow, coaxing every tremor from your body with tenderness. his mouth lingers, placing soft kisses now, like heâs trying to soothe you through the comedown.
your hands push weakly at his shoulders, breathless, spent.
and he loves it.
he finally lifts his head, breath warm against your thigh, chest heaving like he just ran through a storm and found peace in you. his pupils are blown wide, nearly eclipsing the soft blue, hair disheveled and damp with sweat, strands sticking to his flushed forehead. his lips glisten, raw and parted, breath shaky as though your taste alone stole every last thread of his composure. his tongue drags across his lower lip slowly, like heâs still savoring the flavor of you, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smug, breathless grin.
he looks wrecked. and radiant. wild with need and dripping with adoration.
âyou okay?â
you nod, barely. dazed. lips swollen, eyes glassy, pupils unfocused. your lashes flutter as he kisses up your bodyâdelicate presses, reverent, like each inch of skin is something sacred, like heâs anchoring himself in the world by mapping every place heâs made you feel good. he doesnât speak at first. just hums, low and satisfied, murmuring quiet praises into your skin like theyâre instinct. like worship.
his mouth finds yours again, and he kisses you deepâwet and warm, a slow press that melts into something messier. he lets you taste yourself on his tongue, groaning into your mouth as your hips roll against him without meaning to. when you whimper, he exhales through his nose, kissing you deeper, his fingers slipping beneath your thighs to anchor you down.
âmm,â he exhales, voice syrup-thick as he shifts beneath you. ânot done.â
his hands settle at your hips, palms steady, guiding you effortlessly into his lap like youâre weightless. your back meets his chest with a slick press, your sweat-slicked skin sliding against his. his arms coil around your waist, strong and grounding. his chest rises and falls behind you, a little too fast, like heâs barely managing to keep himself from dragging you under.
the mirror is in front of you.
angled just right. angled perfectly. and god, he made sure of that.
his cock, flushed dark and twitching, slides between your folds as he shifts his hips beneath you, letting the tip nudge against your clit before gliding through your slick. the friction alone makes your head tip back, a choked sound escaping you.
he watches your reaction in the mirror, that infuriating smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. you feel itâhis amusement, his awe.
âlook at that,â he purrs, voice heavy with affection and mischief. âhavenât even put it in yet, and youâre already fallinâ apart on me.â
he kisses the side of your head, nose brushing your temple.
âbreathe, baby.â
his fingers dip down again, slow, teasing circles over your clit. featherlight, just enough to make your stomach tighten. your head tips back, body twitching in his lap. your nails scratch lightly down his arms, the only defense you can muster.
thenâ
he pushes in.
inch by inch.
thick, stretching you open like itâs the first time. because it is.
your breath shatters. your whole body jolts, hands flying to his forearms. your nails dig deep. your thighs strain to close, but his arms hold you open. you gaspâa helpless, breathy thing that breaks before it ever becomes a word.
âshh,â he coos, voice gentler now, lips grazing your ear. âsâokay. i got you. just breathe. youâre takinâ me so good already.â
he groansâlow, shaky. your walls flutter around him with every inch he sinks in, the stretch making your whole body shiver. his hand doesnât leave your clit, rubbing slow, steady circles to ease the burn.
âfuck,â he moans, forehead dropping to your shoulder. âyouâre squeezinâ me like a vice. gonna make me lose it before i even move.â
you try to speak, to say something bitingâbut the words collapse into a soft, keening sound as he bottoms out.
his hand finds your chin and tilts it forward.
ânuh-uh,â he murmurs. âdonât look away. wanna see how fuckinâ pretty you look like this.â
your eyes drag open, hazy and wet, and meet the mirror.
you barely recognize yourselfâflushed and shining, lips parted in a stunned gasp, your skin glowing with sweat. your brows are drawn, mouth twitching as your walls flutter around the thick weight of him inside you.
he starts to move.
slow. dragging. deliberate.
your breath stutters. your knees twitch, thighs trembling.
âthatâs it,â he hums, breath hot on your neck. âjust like that. god, youâre makinâ the cutest faces. yâknow that? fuckinâ adorable. you sure youâre not the one obsessed with me?â
he rolls his hips deeper. you cry out, barely a sound, just air and heat. your hands tremble where they grip his thighs, too overwhelmed to speak.
âwhatâs that? no smart little comment now?â he teases, kissing your shoulder, his voice drenched in adoration. âthought you were tough, angel.â
he grinds up into you again. your mouth falls open.
a whimper.
a moan.
and nothing else.
he laughs. delighted. wrecked.
âknew it,â he whispers. âknew iâd turn that sharp mouth of yours to mush.â
his thrusts quicken. deepen. his arms wrap tighter around your waist, locking you in place as he fucks up into you, smooth and controlled. the mirror shows everything. your body bouncing with every roll of his hips, his cock splitting you open again and again, the muscles in his abdomen flexing as he moves.
âlook at you, baby,â he growls, picking up the pace. âfuckâhowâre you this gorgeous and still act like iâm the muse?â
his voice cracks with it. because you areâyour expression undone, jaw slack, eyes lidded and wet. your thighs tremble with each thrust, every sound that escapes you more broken than the last.
âdonât hide from me,â he pants, breath sharp and quick. âkeep watching. wanna see the exact moment you fall apart.â
you try.
but your eyes blur. your vision swims. your body rocks helplessly in his lap.
your orgasm coils tight in your belly, sharp and violent.
âsatoruâpleaseâiâmââ
âthatâs it,â he whispers, mouth brushing your ear. âlet go. let me feel you, baby. wanna watch you fall apart all over my cock.â
you break. again.
your body collapses against him, your scream breathless, voice cracking. every muscle pulls taut, trembling. your walls clench hard around him, and he groansâdeep, raw, as he fucks you through it, chasing his own edge.
âthatâs it. fuck, thatâs itââ
he spills into you with a strangled cry, hips jerking, cock twitching deep inside, thick and so much it spills out around the edges. his arms crush you to him. he moans again, low and broken, like he doesnât know how else to react. he doesnât thrust again. just stays buried. trembling. like finishing inside you knocked every last thought out of his head.
his arms wrap around you like heâs trying to anchor himselfâlike if he loosens his grip, he might float away. his palm is pressed flat against your belly, grounding you, fingers twitching like they still donât know how to stop touching. his forehead rests against your shoulder, breath ragged and warm, strands of hair clinging to the sweat-damp skin of his temple.
your bodies breathe in tandem. chest to back, sticky with sweat and afterglow. his cock twitches again inside youâa slow, pulsing aftershockâand you feel the lazy, inevitable trickle of his release starting to slip out around him. your thighs twitch. your toes curl. your reflection in the mirror shifts, barely perceptible, trembling like the rest of you.
âyou okay?â he murmurs, lips brushing the back of your shoulder.
âno thanks to you,â you mumble, your voice thick and flat with exhaustion. it lacks the bite you were aiming for.
he laughsâquiet and hoarseâand kisses your jaw. âso mean,â he croons, nuzzling against your cheek. âand here i was, giving you the best night of your life.â
âshut up,â you whisper. your eyes are half-lidded, unfocused. âi canât even feel my knees.â
âthatâs a good thing,â he says, smug now. âmeans i did it right.â
you groan, shifting just enough to smack his thigh with the back of your hand, weakly. âyouâre insufferable.â
âyou love it,â he replies, kissing your temple. he still sounds dazed, too satisfied to be cocky for real. âgonna run you a bath soon. hot. lavender oil. bubbles.â
âdonât make promises youâre too tired to keep.â
he exhales a breathy laugh, the sound low and melted. his hand trails up your stomach, then down again, soothing, thoughtless. his thumb traces just beneath the curve of your ribs.
âgive me five minutes,â he murmurs. âthen iâll carry you. princess treatment.â
âmm. better.â
he adjusts his hold on you slightly, only so he can tuck his nose into the crook of your neck, exhale slow and deep like heâs trying to memorize the way you smell like skin and sweat and everything he just did to you.
âbut not yet,â he says, the words nearly lost in your skin. âjust let me stay like this. hold you a little longer.â
and he does. he stays wrapped around you like he was carved to fit there.
like if he lets go, the world might stop.
a/n : i missed writing themâmissed how individual they are, and how their chemistry feels like a natural consequence of who they are, not just the romance. free throws & figure drawings is still the piece iâm proudest of, and this feels like a little love letter to that <3 also: i toned down the explicitness in this oneânot because they arenât filthy, but because i really wanted to center the intimacy over the porn teehee :3
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cw: exes
"So, who is it?"
The train car is empty besides you and Bakugo, but he keeps his voice down anyway. His knees are spread so far that they are right up against yours, claiming more space than he is owed.
"Who's who?" you reply.
"The one that you're interested in." He gestures to your outfit with a scoff, "Come on, we were married- I know your tricks."
Ex husband: it's still weird to think about. For five years, you took this train home together. Now, Bakugo gets off at the third stop and you get off on the fifth. You know his mother, you were there for his father's funeral, and now you don't know what the inside of his apartment looks like. Your intersecting lives are starting to drift, despite the way you both try to stay close.
"I bet you put perfume on your ankles, whore." That shocks you a bit out of your maudlin thoughts. You smack him with the back of your hand and he chuckles as he pushes you away.
"Are you sure you want to hear about this?" His finger still has a tan line from his wedding ring.
"I dunno," he sniffs, "Gotta talk about it at some point though."
The train inches to a stop. No one gets on, no one gets off.
"I think Sero is cute."
Bakugo snorts and scoffs, rolling his eyes with a flourish only reserved for you.
"What?" you laugh.
"Sero? Really?" He's gruff as usual, trying to be unaffected and succeeding, "I dunno, I just thought you liked..."
"Meatheads?" you tease.
"People who act like me."
The train takes off, smears of neon light flickering as you pass through the city. It's the same as it ever was, yet always different, always changing. "I need something different."
Bakugo breathes in through his nose, an inverse sigh. His jaw is set hard, eyes loyal to the facade. You almost believe he's unaffected until he reaches over and pats your thigh, the touch lingering just a moment too long.
"We were good, though. When it lasted," he says.
"We were," you agree, placing your hand over his. "I think we're good now too."
He nods. The divorce was mutual, the final straw after months of screaming matches and broken hearts. When you first took off your ring, you never thought you could bear to look Katsuki in the face again, but today, as friends, you meet his eye.
Bakugo softens for a second, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips, but he returns to his normal self.
"I'll put out feelers for you," he says softly, "To see if Sero's interested."
Your stomach tightens and you're not sure if it's good or bad. "Thanks."
Bakugo hooks an arm over your shoulder and pulls your head into him. He still smells like vanilla and pepper, that stupid cologne you bought him last anniversary. When he presses a kiss into your temple, it almost feels like it did in the beginning, before the fall.
"I just want you to be happy, baby," Katsuki whispers.
The train starts to roll into its third stop of the night.
"Just sucks that we weren't happy together."
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cult leader ! geto. fem ! reader. corruption. oral (r receiving. praise. dub - con
he never lets anyone else touch you.
not his followers, not the other women who beg for his attention, not even the cursed spirits that slither through the shrine halls.
âsheâs mine,â he said, once. voice calm, sweet, final.
they didnât ask again.
so now, here you are. bare, kneeling before him on silken sheets, the temple quiet except for the low hum of candles and his breath in your ear. his hands are warm on your thighs. his robes are still on. he always stays dressed when he ruins you.
âyouâre my little altar,â he murmurs, thumb brushing your lips. âdonât you know that?â
you nod, eyes wide. he smilesâsoft, indulgent. dangerous.
he lays you back like heâs positioning a sacred offering. spreads your legs like heâs opening a scroll, taking his time. every movement reverent. slow. owned.
âlook at you,â he breathes. âfuck, youâre perfect. they donât even know, do they?â
his voice drops.
âwhat i do to you when theyâre asleep.â
his mouth meets your inner thigh and your body jolts. he doesnât move. just kisses there, then licks slowâso slowâup to your cunt like he has all the time in the world.
you gasp. his hands hold you still.
âshhh,â he whispers, breath warm against you.
âlet me have it.â
his tongue drags over your clit, slow and wet and deep. he eats like heâs starving, like itâs ritual. and maybe it is. because every time he buries his face between your legs, you forget what it means to exist without him.
you cry outâneedy, overwhelmed. he groans, low in his throat. it rumbles against you. he likes your desperation. drinks it in like itâs divine.
âthatâs it,â he whispers, voice soaked in adoration. âsing for me, pretty thing. i want them to hear who you belong to.â
your fingers curl into his hair. he doesnât stop. doesnât pause. just flattens his tongue against your clit and sucks until youâre arching off the mattress, shaking, sobbing for it.
and when you comeâhard, loud, helplessâhe holds you down, lips still working you through it like he never plans to stop.
you twitch. whimper. plead.
âtoo muchâgeto, please, iââ
he finally pulls back, chin glistening. his eyes are soft. so soft itâs terrifying. âcall me suguru,â he says, leaning in, voice velvet-sweet.
âand beg again.â
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i know my reputation is a pervert. but the incest in calebmc is crucial to the narrative. like the obsession with refusing to call a spade a spade is actively interfering with the understanding of canon text.
incest is a theme. it explicitly explores extreme trauma and codependencyâas those are the main and most fundamental aspects of childhood that result in incest. these things are not independent of each other in the slightest. itâs not forcing the incest. the presence of the incest is meant to demonstrate those things.
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keel | sylus (qin che)
⥠tags ; afab + fem!reader, gendered language (good girl, sweet girl) , the use of kitten like one time, praise kink heavy, domestic sex, unprotected sex, fingering, loverboy sylus, 18+
⥠wc ; 1.8k
⥠a/n ; stuck in my bkg draft so i tried my hand at sylus. not sure how i did im sorry sylus fans </3 pls forgive me if the characterization isn't up to par.
⥠synopsis ; sylus likes fueling your praise kink when the mood strikes.

It's easy to miss the way Sylus is sweet on you.
He does that on purpose. It's a secret. One he promises to keep tucked between the creased edges of his longing. No one knows the depth of his affection, the weight of it, the truth of of itâexcept Sylus alone.
There is a laundry list of reasons it's like this. Filled with calculated consideration and logical outcomes.
Less reasonably but more truthfully - it's also in his nature. Dragons are known for hoarding their precious belongings.
What could be more precious, more worthy of guard than his love for you?
He doesn't even think he's all that good at hiding it, truthfully. If you catch him at the right time- you'd see it written all over his face. Etched into his features, in the sway of every motion and lasting seconds of every glance.
Of all people, you seem to know the least how much Sylus utterly adores you. At least, you pretend that's the case.
He can't be entirely sure why that is. Or ratherâhe isn't sure why it's like that even now. Your first reactions to him were warranted, he knows that.
But it's different now. Most of your misunderstandings resolved and your disagreements settledâeven without the memories of past, you should know it clearly, right? How much he adores you?
You do know. You can't not know. Not with the way Sylus treats you.
It's almost like you want to avoid the subject all together. Like you're trying not to linger on it too long, or think about it too hard - afraid of what will happen if you do. Each time Sylus makes you face it, you turn awayâchin tucked, eyes screwed close, embarrassed. As if the very presence of his love for you is enough to make your face burn. It threatens to swallow you up.
If he didn't find it so horribly loveable, he might venture to call it troublesome.
He likes it about you though, like he likes everything else about you.
Sylus likes to meet you where you are. Where you're sarcastic and easily frustrated, he's patronizing and relaxed. Knowing you get shy so easily when his affection is more overt, he'll push but never far enough to really upset you. He treads carefully, rides the line until you come to him willingly. Always asks, always waits. He's patient like that, especially with you.
Sylus likes crooning about you being catlike - but there's truth in it. It's part of why he's good at handling you. Just like he knows not to move when a cat settles in his lap, Sylus knows not to push you by coming onto strong when you're not asking for it.
(It gives him the same feeling of accomplishment when you come to him first.)
It's rare that Sylus gets to spoil you for all the reasons above.
Spoil you in the overbearing, affectionate sense at least. He usually curbs that desire through spending money on you - but there's something more he's after.
When you come to him wanting itâthere's not a single part of him that thinks of refusing. He couldn't even if he tried.
That's why, when you come barreling down his bedroom door and demanding to be fucked - Sylus can only really think to be amused.
You're feeling lazy, and somewhat bold. It's a good deal for him, anyhow.
A single hand cups the back of your thighs as you stand on your knees - straddling Sylus with your hands resting at his at his shoulders. Sylus presses his forehead just underneath your sternum as his other hand focuses on stretching you out.
You let out a soft breath as Sylus scissors his fingers open inside of you. You feel warm around him, wet and slick and inviting. It makes his cock twitch, almost guilty with his desire.
"Feeling alright, sweetheart?"
You open your eyes and look down at Sylus. He smiles at you, head tilted as you frown at him. "I'm fine. But you're taking too long. Want you toâ"
"I like letting you have your way but I'm afraid I won't budge on this one," Sylus says, cooing. He presses a chaste kiss to your stomach, adding another finger inside of you. You whine audibly, knees weakening in his grasp. Sylus laughs.
"Awfully worked up today aren't you, kitten?"
"So what if I am?" You spit with familiar hostility he's come to love.
"Now, now - I didn't say it was bad, so don't be that way, hm? You were being so sweet a second ago,"
"I'm always sweet," You say plainly. Sylus laughs harder than he should, and you glare at him with a pronounced frown.
His eyes twinkle with amusement. "That so?"
Your frown deepens. "Yeah."
Your reply comes out firm in a way that makes his chest tight. He stares up at you bemused. "Sure, then. Is there any reason my sweet girl is in particular mood?"
You clench down on his fingers. His brows raise, the grip on his shoulders getting tighter.
"Don't say anything," You hiss. He shrugs.
"There's no shame in it," Sylus says smoothly. "If there's anything you want, you just have to ask. No need for your pride to get in the way, right?"
Your face twists. It's cute, watching you go back and forth - more with yourself than anyone else. You let out a frustrated groan.
"Justâ"
"Just what? Will you really be satisfied if I just fuck you?" Sylus purrs, curling his fingers up towards your g-spot with a deliberate control. You gasp as you tighten around him, growing wetter. He feels you go weak in his grasp, smiling as your eyes roll back. "What you really want to hear is how good you are for me, right?"
Your pussy flutters around his fingers again, an involuntary reaction - soft whimpering leaving your mouth. How unusual. How uncharacteristic of you to be so docile towards him, or about him - so openly lusting after such an affectionate sort of attention.
"Be a good girl and ask me to spoil you,"
Your eyes widen. "That's humiliatingâ,"
Sylus quirks his brow. "So you won't be good for me?"
Your face contorts again. So cute, he thinks. He can see all the gears turn in your head as you sigh. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, your voice next to his ear - muffled by his shoulder as you bury your nose against his neck.
"Spoil me," You say, half-demanding. Mostly just needy in a way that makes his skin prickle with heat. "I want you to spoil me,"
Sylus laughs deeply. He can't help it. It's a heavy sound. You hit him when he does, clawing at his shoulders. There's no malice to his laughter though, though. Just a sort of disbelief of how deep his affection can run for you. Like just when he thinks it can't run any deeper, it does.
"You did well, hm?" Sylus hums. It comes easily. He's just voicing what feels like his thoughts are most of the time. "Good job, kitten. Should I give you something in return of your hard work?"
You nod into his shoulder. Sylus feels all the lovesickness in his body jolt, cock going stiff at the innocent gesture. He breathes out.
"Here," He pulls his fingers out from you, relishing the way you hiccup from loss of contact. He strokes his cock with sticky fingers - painfully hard before grabbing your hips and settling your weight of his lap.
You lean down to kiss him and Sylus meets you - a soft tongue kiss and gentle reminder that he's here. You linger there longer than he expects you to, but finds himself eager to stay. When he finally pulls away, he turns his attention back onto your pussy.
He admires your cunt as it hovers over his length. Clit swollen with need, sticky and supple and begging to be fucked - Sylus feels his head go heavy. He rubs the sensitive bundle of nerves with the tip of his cock, reeling at the silky sensation. The muscles in his abdomen feeling tight.
You whimper above him. Your usual moan softened to noisy, desperate mewls. Something in your demeanor spurs him on. He finds himself more eager than usual to sing your praises.
"You'll look so pretty sitting on my cock won't you, dove?" Sylus croons, his voice thick with arousal. A syrupy lust spreads through his limbs, makes his hold on your hips tighter. "Always take it so perfectly. Made just for me sweetheart. How could I ever think of anything else?"
"Sylus," You draw the syllables of his name out with a whine.
"Shh, I know. Time for me to kiss it better, right?"
You whimper at the implication. Kiss it better when he means to fuck you, it makes your hold on him even stronger. Sylus pulls you down onto his lap slowly. The tip of his cock nudging past slick folds, careful and thoughtful. You buck your hips - seeking tension and depth but Sylus holds you firmly in place.
It'll be better for you if you feel his cock inch by inch. It'd be best if you remembered it carefully. Every vein, every curve, ever angle - carved into your body from now to eternity. It'd be good if you got so used to it, your body couldn't crave for anything else - so you'd have something only he could give you that'd bring you more pleasure then pain.
You sink down on Sylus' cock slowly. Whimpering as the tip finds your entrance, stretching you open slowly. Your pussy accommodates to his size with effort - even after so much stretch. A dull pain that has you squeezing around his length tight the farther down you drop.
"You feel so good," Sylus groans. Your pussy squeezes down on him hard. "That's it. Easy."
Sylus barely touches you. When he bottoms out, you're clamping down on him so hard it barely takes him any effort at all to make you cum. One hand slides between your bodies, fingers resting at your navel as he rubs slow, precise circles into your clit - unmoving.
"Such a good girl for me," Sylus coos. Your whole body wracks into a shiver, as you swear into his shoulder. "Cum. You want to, right? Go ahead and cum,"
"Hnggh, fuck. Sylus I'mâ"
"Let go sweetheart. Cum."
Your body coils in as Sylus whipers sweet nothings against your shoulder. You grip his cock like a vice, bottomed out - trembling as arousal and slick floods his length, a sticky sound filling the room as you rock your hips and ride out your high. Your breathing is shallow, trembling as your orgasm knocks the wind out of you.
You're pliant in his grasp. Pleasant and sweet. There's no way you don't know that he adores you.
"You want more?"
Fucked out, you nod your head. An almost docile quality to you.
"Sure, then, sweetheart. We have all day,"

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roronoa "i could eat a peach for hoursâ zoro
zoro eats pussy slow. thereâs no rush when he kisses his way down your chest and stomach until heâs settled between your thighs, legs thrown over his shoulders. heâs got you worked up and squirming from nothing but a few light touches and you can hear the sharp grin in his voice when he says, âsettle down. just wanna get a look at you.â
you canât call what he does looking though. you could drown in the intensity of zoroâs stare. you think you might be, with how you start to pant the longer it goes on. and the whole while, he doesnât say a word, breathing in the scent of you and just watching your cunt drool and clench around nothing, all for him.
youâre throbbing by the time he finally gets his mouth on you. he greets your pussy with a broad swipe of his tongue, one long lap that ends with a flick against your clit that has you arching off the bed to chase his mouth. itâs nowhere near enough and he knows it. he throws a burly arm around you and pins your hips down with infuriating ease.
âcâmon baby, donât fight me,â he says when you try in vain to wiggle out of his hold, âyou know iâll take care of you.â
he plants a chaste kiss on your clit and the sweetness behind the small act melts all the fight out of you, âyeah.â
âsay it.â
âyouâll take care of me.â
âthatâs right,â he leans in to circle his tongue around your entrance, barely dipping inside before he pulls back again, âalways.â
the gravity in that one word, the weight and promise of it, pulls you together, zoroâs hand finding yours and lacing your fingers as he licks his way into you.
you shake and tremble and cry through each orgasm, and zoro is there squeezing your hand for each one and groaning into pussy like the pleasure is his own. it might be. itâs the only way you can explain why he devours you until youâre delirious and sweat-soaked, tugging on his short strands to ask for a reprieve.
your silent plea is granted but even as heâs pulling away, he gets in a few last open mouth kisses to your clit that make you shiver with how sensitive you are. zoro takes it as something else and is by your side between one breath and the next, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his broad chest.
âcold?â he asks.
âno,â you say, melting into him as he runs his knuckles down your spine and back up again. you go to reach between his legs but he catches your wrist before you can, âwhy not?"
âdon't worry about it.â
"i wanna make you feel good.â
he brings your hand up to his lips and the gentle kiss he presses to the centre of your palm is paired with a warm puff of laughter and a half-lidded stare that burns you right down to your core, "you have no fucking idea what you do to me."
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Summary: Luffy gets into an alluring tin of mysterious cookies. One thing leads to another, and he ends up in your room, disoriented and distressed. What will it take to help him feel better? ~5k words.
CW: Smut with a bit of plot. Afab reader, gendered language (âprincessâ), overstimulation, dry humping, begging, aphrodisiacs, penetrative sex.
MINORS DNI. NSFW CONTENT.
Luffy stumbles into your cabin late at night. The door is wide open and it seems like no one else on the Sunny is awake. Youâre messing around on your phone, doom scrolling to pass the time and entertain yourself. You wish that you could fall sleep, but it wonât come any time soon. Itâs a restless sort of night.
He almost trips over his feet as he crashes onto the chair by your desk.
âLuffy, whatâs up? Itâs late.â
A closer look at him reveals that heâs sweating and bright red. His eyes look off and he looks sick.
âAre you okay?â Youâre worriedâhe looks seriously unwell.
âI feel funny. I think I ate something bad, my tummy hurts.â Luffyâs brows are bent in the middle and heâs grimacing.
Youâve seen Luffy when he has food poisoning before. He literally turns green and complains non-stop. Itâs his own fault, heâs like a racoon. Heâll eat anything, regardless of how questionable it is. Old leftovers wherever he can find them, almost-rotting fruit, poisonous fish, none of it matters for Luffy. If it looks edible, heâs taking it to the neck. He frequently suffers the consequences.
But right now, heâs not green, like he usually is when heâs eaten something spoiled. He looks different.
You get up and walk over to him, placing your hand on his forehead. When your skin touches his, he lets out what initially sounds like some sort of moan, but you shrug it offâthat must have been a wail of pain, right? Heâs concerningly feverish and sweating bullets.
Does he have the flu? Should you wake up Chopper?
âLuffy, youâre burning up. Like, you have a really bad fever. Iâm going to get Chopper.â
âWait, I feelâI feel weird inside,â Luffyâs voice strains and he sounds like heâs in pain Heâs visibly shivering. âItâs like my stomach is on fire, but I feel cold.â He continues almost babbling, so obviously in distress and discomfort, feverish nonsense falling from his lips impulsively.
You donât realize it yet, but his hand wanders to his crotch and starts to fidget.
âYour stomach is on fire but youâre freezing cold? Did you eat something that went bad again? What did you eat?â You raise an eyebrow at him, vaguely annoyed. He sure doesnât look like he has food poisoning. Also, there isnât usually much spoiled food on the ship. Sanji keeps the fridge nice, tidy, and clean.
Why did Luffy come to you, instead of Chopper? Heâs distracted, eyes zoning out somewhere and his face wrinkled up. He must not have heard you.
âI said, what did you eat? Luffy!â
âI ateâfuck,â Luffyâs brows furrow and he closes his eyes in anguish. âAte Sanjiâs cookies.â
âYou did what? Sanjiâs cookies? The ones with the huge note that says âdo not eatâ on the tin?â
Luffy lets out another wail of pain and shifts in his seat. His fingers squeeze his crotch again. Heâs hard, rubbing his massive erection, sliding his fingers over it, squeezing it and playing with himself.
âLuffy, what are you doing?!â Youâre incredulous when you realize heâs touching himself. Youâve never seen anything like this before. Heâs your captain, for fuckâs sake. What was he doing touching himself in your room, with a raging fever and chattering teeth?
Putting the pieces together, you remember that Sanji had devilish smirk as he brought his special souvenir onto the ship. It was a pretty box, made of metal, covered in some sort of light blue paint, filigreed with gold accents and illustrations of pretty pink ribbons. The chef put an obnoxious âDO NOT EAT SANJIâS COOKIESâ sign on the box and slid them to the top shelf of the pantry, almost out of reach. It was, admittedly, extremely naĂŻve of Sanji to expect Luffy to pay any heed to that sign.
You put two and two together. The cookies must have had something in them.
As a response to your indignance, Luffy squeezes his erection harder and gasps quietly. Sweat drips from his temples and down his cheeks. His mouth hangs open, and his pupils are huge. Heâs a fucking mess, and you have no clue what to do in this situation.
ââm so cold,â he whines and shakes. âToo c-c-cold.â
This is wildly inappropriate, but⌠you are kind of turned on, just because heâs touching himself. You have some sort of repressed crush on your captainâhow could you not? You usually push it to the back of your mind, though. Pining over him is a waste of time when nothing would ever come of it.
âFuck,â Luffyâs voice is gravelly and his hand moves of its own accord. âFeels like itâs helping. Feels warm.â
Your heart does a flip. Luffy is palming his cock in front of you, panting with arousal, head thrown back. He canât help but touch himself. Itâs the only thing thatâs relieving his discomfort, evidently. You feel awkward, but itâs almost starting to get you going. You feel heat creep up your neck and you're frozen still.
Luffyâs eyes wander to your chestâheâs staring at your breasts, drinking in the shape of them and the outline of your nipples though your shirt. You start to turn red, matching his color rapidly.
âLuffy, what the fuck? Stop! Youâre a wreck.â You divert the awkwardness for a second. âNo wonder the sign says do not eat! Iâm going to get Chopper. You need to rest. Go do that in your room.â
Luffy grinds his palm down his erection and a stifled sound of pleasure gets caught in his throat. You pause, against your better judgment. That soundâthe sound of Luffy in pleasureâmakes you feel some sort of way. You start to warm up between the legs.
âI want you to do it.â Luffyâs voice gets lower each time he talks. Heâs still shaking, freezing, sweating, and unwell. But heâs touching himself, and you had imagined this before. Itâs hard to look away.
âWhat?â You respond reflexively, caught completely off guard. Did you hear him right?
âWant you to touch me,â he whines and continues to rub himself. The friction feels electric. âI think itâll h-help.â
Luffyâs eyes are half open and glossy, still riveted on your tits. His pupils are really dilated. His fingers grasp and stroke his hard cock through his shorts, and each sound that leaves his mouth goes straight between your thighs.
âYou want me to touch you? Are you⌠Are you sure, Luffy?â
âNeed it,â he scrunches his face up. ââm going crazy.â
You bite your lip and pause for a second. If your captain was asking you for help, you might as well assist him⌠Also, this didnât feel like that crazy of a request for help, considering the fact that heâd literally die for you (and has gotten close to that on multiple occasions). And you could tell he wasnât being malicious or predatory about his requestâhe was just being Luffy, asking plainly for something. If you said no, he would be fine. He may whine a bit, but heâd never genuinely pressure you to do something you were uncomfortable with.
But fuck, was he in his right mind? You shake your head. You want to touch him. But you are genuinely worried about him. It must be 2:00AM, so you need to wake up Chopper. You might want to touch Luffy, but you have to do your due diligence. You care about Luffy. If heâs sick or in danger, you have to make sure heâs okay.
âLuffy, no. Iâm going to get Chopper. Just wait here.â
You speed-walk down the hallway, heart racing. What a bizarre turn of events. You didnât expect that to happen when Luffy initially walked in your room. When you reach the door to Chopperâs cabin, you knock.
No answer. Heâs obviously asleep.
You knock again. âChopper? Itâs me. Please get up. Luffyâs sick.â
Another knock. Rustling blankets. You can hear Chopper hobble to the door. He opens it and pokes his little head out, squinting. Heâs wearing one of those sleeping gowns and a cute hat. âMhm? Whatâs wrong with him?â
âUh... He has a fever. Heâs burning up and heâs shaking. Heâs sweating a lot, too.â You figured youâd save the âand heâs masturbatingâ part for later. Maybe you didnât have to say it at all?
âDoes he have food poisoning? Did he eat anything out of the ordinary?â
âWell, I donât think he has food poisoning... But he ate some of Sanjiâs cookies.â
âWhatâs in the cookies?â Chopper is shading his eyes from the dim hallway light. Heâs half asleep and you feel bad for waking him up.
âI-I donât know. Maybe there was something weird in them?â
Chopper yawns. Fuck. He looks like heâs falling asleep again. You canât blame him, really, itâs way past his bedtime.
âChopper, can you please come look at him?â
He yawns again. âIâm sleepy. Can you ask Sanji whatâs in the cookies and get back to me? I just want to go to bed a little bit longer.â
You huff and frown as Chopper shuts his door. So now you were supposed to play telephone? If it was anyone else you would have chewed them out, but you couldnât do that to Chopper.
Extremely aggravated, you storm down the hallway to Sanjiâs cabin and knock on the door, loudly. Itâs an angry knock. A fuck-you knock.
âSanji. Get up.â Silence for a moment while the blonde jolts awake. âI said get up.â
His door opens just a tad until he realizes itâs you. Then he opens it wider. His hair is all rustled up and heâs shirtless, in boxers. If he wasnât half-asleep, heâd be blushing and acting ridiculous because youâre seeing him half-naked.
âOh, hello beautiful.â His voice is scratchy and heâs blinking. âHow may I help you? Are you finally going to crawl into bed with me?â He flashes a cheeky grin and you almost slap him.
âNo, Sanji. Luffy ate your cookies. Heâs a mess.â
The cookâs half-asleep composure immediately drops. âHe did what?â
You can tell heâs fully awake now.
âI said, he ate your fucking cookies, Sanji. What is in those things!?â
âFUCK. How many did he eat?â
âHow many? How should I know?! Heâs in my room with a fever right now. Itâs Luffy, we can assume he probably ate the whole box.â
Sanji smirks and laughs out loud. âWell, thereâs only one way to fix that. Good night, princess.â He winks and shuts the door in your face.
âSanji, what the fuck!?â
You knock on his door again, but you can hear him get back in bed. Youâre beyond pissed. Youâre ready to kick the door down and wring his neck. But⌠you have a sinking feeling that you know what the cook is getting at. Fuck. The cookies have some sort of aphrodisiac in them.
You trudge back to your room, flabbergasted and defeated. Luffy is still in your chair, letting out wails of âpainâ which you are now realizing are just fucking moans. Not to say that he isnât in pain but⌠if the placement of his hand is any evidence right now, heâs feeling pretty good.
âY-youâre back,â Luffy gasps as he grinds his palm on his erection for what is probably the 50th time.
âFuck, Luffy. What did you get yourself into tonight? You can be such a bonehead. Goddamn.â Your hands are on your hips and youâre looking at him, weighing your options. You could kick him back to his room and tell him to masturbate.
He looks downright pathetic. His face is twisted up in agony and his hand is putting in work. âT-touch me,â he whines. âP-please.â
âLuffy, are you sure?â You walk over to him and place a hand on his cheek in pity.
He opens his eyes and weakly croaks out, âNot there. Lower.â
You tut and frown. âOhhh Luffy. What am I going to do with you?â
He tries to give you puppy dog eyes and fails. Another erotic sound escapes his lips as his palm grinds on his cock particularly hard. He whispers, one last beg before heâll do all the work himself. âPlease.â
You cautiously reach your hand down and place it on his erection. Luffy throws his head back, hissing in air through his teeth, and fidgets under you.
âFuck, that feels weird. Feels tingly, likeâlike itâs on fire,â he whines.
He grasps your wrist and makes you rub his cock harder, widening his thighs. His grip is so tight that it hurts. Heâs forcing your palm down on his cock so hard that you canât believe it isnât hurting him.
Luffyâs eyes are closed and heâs actually drooling. Heâs still shivering, and his cheeks are crimson. Sweat plasters his hair down on his forehead and temples.
The obscene sounds leaving his lips make you hotter between your legsâyou squeeze your thighs together in an attempt to mitigate the rising heat, but Luffyâs desperation is making it worse. Heâs starting to rut his cock up into your hand.
âAh, that feelsâfeels so hot andâfuckâfeels funny, like it, it feels good.â You can feel his cock twitching under your fingers. Heâs writhing around and whimpering, and fuck, he looks good. âNeed more.â
âY-you need more?â You ask hesitantly.
âCâmere.â Luffy grabs you by your waist and effortlessly lifts you up, guiding you to straddle his lap. You freeze up. Thereâs no way this is really happening.
âMmmmmm, fuck.â He murmurs in your ear and his hips buck up, cock craving friction through the layer of his pants and yours.
âW-want you to rub on me,â his voice is wretched and depraved. âFeels good.â When you lock eyes, you can see animalistic desire plainly. Youâve never seen him look like thisâitâs like heâs a different person; lust is completely driving his movements. Itâs like primal instincts took over the second the aphrodisiac cookies went to his stomach.
Luffy dry humps you and itâs starting to feel good. His hands are gripping your hips and heâs doing all the work, dragging you over his cock, pushing you down on it and making your hips roll while needy noises trickle from his parted lips.
As friction builds on your clit, you stifle a moan that threatens to jump out of your mouth. Luffyâs so aroused that heâs panting and slobbering down his chin.
Itâs like heâs in heat, the way he humps and grinds on you. Seeing him like this is making you wetter. Your panties must be saturated by nowâthe friction is already making you buzz, and he hasnât done much other than rub you on his cock a bit.
âItâs helping,â the words fall carelessly from Luffyâs mouth. He has no clue whatâs going on. Heâs on autopilot right now, lost in lust and barely cognizant. âWanna be warmer, âm still soâso cold.â His teeth are chattering amidst his moans. Considering how hot his cheek was, he must really be freezing.
Luffyâs hands wander to grip your chest through your tank top so hard you let out a yelp. He pulls it down and starts to greedily squeeze and knead your breasts. Your breath hitches when his fingerpads move back and forth on your already stiff and sensitive nipples.
When he leans forward and wraps his lips around one, you let out a gasp. His tongue swirls around your bundle of nerves and he starts to suck on it hungrily. Luffy is making you wet beyond beliefâthe suction on your nipple is feeling dangerously good. Youâre on the verge of losing it, totally giving in to the nagging animalistic voice in your head thatâs telling you to fuck him like crazy.
His erection is huge and hard as it grinds on your core. It feels goodâno, he feels good. The noises heâs letting out add to the effect. Your core is throbbing and sopping wet.
âL-luffy,â you moan, finally, as he grazes your clit and sucks your nipple particularly hard. He lets out a muffled hum in response, vibrating your nipple. âLuffy, if you keep doing that, Iâm gonna cum.â
He goes faster. He thinks that if he sees your face contort in bliss and hears you moan some more, itâll fix him. Heâs starting to feel better already with each hump. Maybe if he sees you cum, heâll stop pulsing and his body will stop screaming at him. Maybe if you cum from his dry humps, heâll be satiated. Maybe his fever will go away.
Luffy can hardly form cognizant, coherent thoughts like this, though. His mind can only focus on two things. First: you. Your pleasure. Your cunt. Your tits. Your smell. He wants to devour you. Second: heâs freezing cold. He needs warmthâtwenty blankets, a cup of hot tea, a heating pad, something. He feels like heâs in a vat of ice water.
âCanât stop,â he chokes his words out with effort, somehow picking up the pace of his cock humping your cunt through your pants. âNeed more.â
He grinds your clit just right and it sends you over the edge of orgasm. As you spasm over his clothed cock and soak your panties in ecstasy, he never once lets up the pace. He pushes you back and forth on his erection and doesnât pay attention to your whimpers from overstimulation.
You collapse forward into him, resting your head in the crook of his neck while he uses his grip on your hips for leverage to rut harder into you.
âWanna put it in,â Luffy groans and his voice is deeper than usual. âL-lemme put it in. Wanna feel you. Need it. N-need you toâto help me feel better.â
You whisper a hum of affirmation in his ear and he picks you up. Fuck it. He already made you cum. Heâs begging for it. You decide to let him ravage you.
Luffy basically throws you on the bed and rips your clothes off. You realize that the door to your cabin is wide openâanyone could walk by and see this. You donât have the willpower to care right now.
Youâre lying on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. Luffy grabs your wrists and holds them over your head with one hand, pinning you down on the bed. His other hand steadies his cock flat on your inflamed, wet folds. He starts to thrust forward a bit, rubbing himself on your cunt, teasing himself before he finally fucks away the ice-cold blood in his veins and stokes that roaring heat his belly.
His cock gliding over your clit feels too good. If he keeps it up, youâll cum a second time. âLuffy, fuck,â your whimper makes his heart pound. Reality fogs up more and he canât think straight. He rubs his cock flat on your lips until youâre arching your back, then lines his tip up with your weeping entrance.
When Luffy pushes his cock into your slit slowly, he groans the whole time. âSo fuckinâ tight, âs like youâre swallowing me whole, fuck. Y-youâre so warm, feels good.â
Heâs shaking and shivering still. After a moment of being bottomed out, he starts to fuck you at a measured pace. Heâs entranced by the way your tits bounce. Heâs still drooling shamelessly, his pupils are blown with lust and heâs sweating. His free hand gropes up for your tits and plays with your nipples. Every time you moan his name, he feels like heâs an animal.
âNnnnggghhhh, fuck, fuck, youâreâyou feel so slippery,â Luffy feverishly grinds his hips into yours, hitting your deep and sensitive spots just right. âFeels weird and hot in my stomach, like s-somethingâs gonna happen.â
âLuffy, it feels too good,â you keen his name and squirm. ââm gonna cum soon.â
âW-wanna see,â he chokes out an answer between breathless thrusts.
He brushes your hot and soft spot, and you once again are drowning in pleasure, toe-curling and delicious. You cum, squeezing his shaft and milking out as much precum as possible.
He sounds like heâs hyperventilating. Heâs truly going crazy. He keeps fucking you through your orgasm and you start to squirm. The sight goads him on.
âMore,â he groans. âPlease, more.â
Luffy rocks his pelvis into yours. His abs and arms are muscly and defined, his hair is sweaty, his eyes are totally dilated, and heâs looking at you like heâs going to fuck you for hours.
When he feels your walls clench down on him, he starts to cum. He seizes up and his cock plunges into your cunt. âF-fuck, fuck, Iâm gonnaâIâm cumming, itâfeels too good, feels so good, fuck.â
His thrusts are erratic while he pumps ropes of cum into you. He pauses and looks down at your cock-crazed face, closed eyes, and slack jaw. His cum is currently seeping out of your slit, coating the base of his shaft.
But even though he just came, his cock is already starting to pulse again. That one orgasm? It isnât enough. Not nearly enough.
He feels better than he did before, but still not back to normal. The fire and ice in his veins still runs strong, he feels like he's buzzing, like heâs an animal looking for a mate.
You think that heâs had his fill until he starts thrusting again, just as hard as before. After a minute, he shifts you. Luffy pulls out and picks you up again, maneuvering you so youâre laying on your bed with your stomach touching the covers. He gets on top of you andâfuck, heâs heavy. And his skin is boiling hot. You can feel the sheen of sweat on his chest when it presses on your back.
He has you in prone bone now, spreading your thighs wide with one of his hands. When he finally presses his cock into you, your back arches. It feels much deeper than beforeâis he using his devil fruit powers, or is his cock just this big?
âFuck,â heâs rasping in your ear. His husky voice goes straight to your throbbing coreâgod, he sounds hot right now. You can feel his hot breath. One of his hands is braced next to your head as his cock rolls into you. Heâs hitting the perfect spot and itâs starting to feel so good that youâre seeing stars. âYour pussyâfeels so, so warm and good, I think itâs working.â
You lose track of time while his cock caresses your sweet spots. Before you know it, youâre cumming again. You hardly have the energy to let him know whatâs happening. Is it the aphrodisiacs making his performance this good, or does Luffy just know how to fuck? How is he this good in bed?
When you squirm and cream on Luffyâs cock for the second time, he reaches a hand under you and thumbs your clit. He draws circles on it and presses it like a button. It feels like an electric shockâhe has neglected it until now but still managed to coax three orgasms out of you. And while you are mildly overstimulated, when his fingers start dancing over your clit it turns up the notch of pleasure inside of you.
âLuffy, fuck that feels good,â a sort of guttural moan escapes your lips and you canât help but buck your hips up and back onto his cock. âDonât stop. Fuck.â
Youâre keening through the waves of pleasure that heâs pulling out from you while he rams you with his cock. His heavy grunts are like music in your earsâferal, low, and ravenous. Your captain is absolutely railing you right now, and you like it. He more than likes it.
âSo tight and, ah, so warm inside, likeâaaghhhh fuckâlike youâre made for me.â He groans and his thighs shudder. Is he cumming again? How many times is this? Second? Third?
Your mind is in a haze. Heâs devouring you like a rabid animal. How many orgasms will it take to fend off his fever? How many hours until the aphrodisiac cookies wear off?
In your haze, filth starts to slip out of your mouth.
âF-fuck me harder, captainâplease,â you mewl, and you can feel just the slightest pause in Luffyâs thrusts, barely noticeable. âYour cock feels so fucking good.â
After his pause, he starts pressing his weight harder on top of you, moving his hips at an angle so his cock is literally ramming into your cervix. The sensation is overwhelming, to say the leastâpainful but so, so good. Youâre gasping for air and itâs hard to breathe because heâs on top of you. Heâs literally fucking you like heâs in heat.
âSay that again,â he grunts and thrusts with each word but heâs struggling to get them out because heâs barely breathing. âSay it.â
âCaptain, fuck, y-your cock feels so good. Fuck, captain.â
Heâs somehow going faster, bringing you to another cliff, another ledge of euphoria from which to free fall. His cock bullies your bundles of nerves and your cunt squelches with each pass.
âC-captain, Luffy, please, fuck.â Youâre spasming under him again, cumming on his cock for, what was that, the fourth time? Maybe it was the fifth. Youâve lost count. You didnât know it was possible to cum this many times. Youâve also lost track of what words are coming out of your mouth. âCumming, Iâm cumming, y-your cock âs too good, captain, fuck, fuck, fuck.â
Heâs right after you, jerking his hips deep into yours and cumming inside again. Thereâs so much cum leaking out of you that Luffyâs shaft is obscured by milky white goop. Thereâs a sizable puddle of it underneath of you. Itâs going to leave an unfortunate-colored stain on your bedsheets. Youâll cross that bridge when you get to it.
His hips are still bucking though. His cum just keeps⌠coming. Itâs a visceral orgasm. Itâs the final orgasm (for a brief refractory period). When heâs done shooting seed into you, he collapses on top of you.
Itâs like youâre under a weighted blanket except its Luffy, heâs heavy as fuck, and his cock is in you. And damn, heâs sweaty.
But somehow this is the best sex youâve ever had. And you have a sneaking suspicion that the night isnât over yet.
When you protest and Luffy rolls off your back, you use all your strength to open your eyes and check on him. His chest rises and falls at a rapid pace, his eyes are closed, heâs still drooling but he looks decidedly better.
You bring a hand to touch his forehead again and he lets out another quiet whimper. He must be so sensitive still. Poor thing. But his fever is considerably better.
Sanji must have been right when he said thereâs only one way to fix this aphrodisiac frenzy. You wonder what Sanji was saving those cookies for. The day you finally crawled into bed with him?
Pfffft. No, thank you. After round six or seven with Luffy, youâll never look back. You truly didnât expect your captain to fuck like this. Or to like being called captain when his cock is in you.
âLuffy, are you doing ok?â
He hums in response.
âUse your words. Luffy, are you doing okay?â
âYeah. Feels a lot better.â
When his chest slows, he starts to sleep. Youâre left on your bed with a puddle of cum under (and inside) of you, and your captain sound asleep like a rock next to you. And fuck, the door is still open.
Hopefully no one heard that. Even if they had heard, oh well. Too late now to stress over it.
You close the door and turn off the light. Then, you get cleaned up and put your pajamas back on.
Luffy may be sound asleep, but you shove him around so heâs at a decent angle. You fall asleep together on your bed, cuddling, and sticky with sweat (and cum).
Of course, no more than two hours later, Luffy is awake and his cock is throbbing again. He tries to touch himself and make the heat go away but it isnât working. So⌠he wakes you up. And thatâs how rounds eight, nine, and ten go.
When his fever finally goes away, heâs left with a long-lasting craving that he can only satiate one way: you.
It should go without saying, but the next day you literally cannot walk. You hobble around, trying to play it off like you slept weird or something. Sanji rubs the whole thing in your face.
âHow was last night, angel?â His smirk is sly and smug, teasing and suggestive.
âSanji. Please. Not right now.â
âDo you want me to get more of those cookies sometime? Maybe we can eat them next?â He winks and you balk.
âFuck off, Sanji.â
The chef chuckles and saunters away. Heâs never going to let you live that down.
thank you for reading!!! ive been feeling a certain way about luffy recently. its just his fucking muscles in wano that have me in a chokehold. muscle make brain go brrrrrrrrr.
here's my masterlist and my posting schedule for october!
i'm posting every day from now until halloween!
finally, trick or treat? (tumblr links)
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has anyone else ever noticed how ukai has the cutest most adorablest little nose ever of all time ??



#prev tags made me laugh out loud#also op thank you for your service your hq fics remain unmatched as always with perfect characterization
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WON'T YOU LEND ME YOUR FAITH? | R. ITOSHI

â tags ; fem!reader (reader dresses femininely + is referred to as a girl / with she/her pronouns), reader is shorter than rin , strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, getting together, rin is soo teenage boy (and makes some annoying teen-boy comments), slow-burn, making out is as suggestive as this gets, stereotypical shoujo romance, usage of honorifics, coming of age
â wc ; 21.4k (insane. most insane thing ive ever seen)
â a/n ; i'm genuinely appalled by the length of this fic. how did that happen. what in the world. this fic is truly just. every single shoujou manga trope crammed into one okay. my silly little self indulgent romance !!!!
also this fic is sfw + takes place in their third of hs so im not gonna say mdni that's silly. however if you're a minor please do not follow me i post heinous dark content and this fic is a fluke in the timeline dskffjkfd
â synopsis ; the love story of a sensitive, stoic soccer player and an eccentric wannabe journalist
or that time you confess to itoshi rin, knowing he'll reject you, and asking to befriend him in spite of it.

âI like you,âÂ
A breeze of wind passes.
âWhat?âÂ
You confess to Itoshi Rin at the start of the Spring semester. On the school rooftop with your head down. Bent at a near ninety degrees as you hold out what looks like a love letter.
For a minute, he canât do anything more than stare. Heâs received countless confessions in highschool. Half of which he rejected immediately, not even stopping to hear the full extent of their feelings. Why would he? The lukewarm ideas of first love had never been of interest. Even before his fight with Sae, Rin was always focused on his goals.Â
After his second year of high school was spent in Bluelock, Rin has only returned for his third. He promised his parents heâd graduate properly, and Bluelock was off-season until Ego could fully prepare for the next stages.Â
And a lot has changed since then. But some parts of him, namely his feelings towards the idea of conventional relationships, haven't changed at all.Â
Itâs only been a little less than three weeks since school had started, and by now heâs received more confessions than he can really remember. All of which heâs rejected coldly, and blankly, because Itoshi Rin has never been in the business of coddling anyone. Most of those girls heâs never even met. Knows nothing about them because theyâre first or second years heâd never even spoken to.Â
Rin, however, does know you. Youâve been in his class in all 3 years of his highschool, and heâs seen you around more than once. Youâre in the newspaper club, which he remembers because you covered their winning match back when Rin was a first year. He wouldnât call you friends, but youâve spoken to each other enough that he can remember your name with a little effort.Â
He also remembers you being sort of annoying. Youâre one of those loud and earnest types that he canât stand.Â
A year ago, Rin wouldâve denied knowing you at all. But now that things with Sae have cleared up just a little - heâs not inclined to take his anger out on you. He knows you. Not well, but enough.
And if his reputation precedes him at all, then you know Rin too. You know that heâs never once gone out with a single girl in his 3 years of highschool and that most of the guys in all three grades consider him an arrogant jerk. You know that he mostly plays soccer alone during breaks and that he only really hangs out with one person.Â
Which means you must know that he doesnât harbor any feelings for you. And that heâs going to reject your confession without thinking twice about it.Â
In the first place, he was just curious if you were stupid enough to do it. If you really called him up here for a roof-top confession. The fact that you were is whatâs stifling him. Your words are familiar. Heâs heard them so many times. But itâs baffling. Itâs ridiculous.Â
You lift your head to face him. Youâre still smiling, though thereâs something more there that he canât understand. He doesnât do well with people like you begin with. He finds himself backing away when you jog up closer towards him.Â
Heâs taller than you, he notices. You pick your head up to look at him and smile, toothy and at ease. You hold the letter up again and shove it towards him, though you donât seem like youâre expecting him to take it. He stares at you.Â
âI like you,â You repeat, smooth and bubbly. He frowns.Â
âI donât like you.âÂ
He has expectations for this part. Normally he receives a saddened look like a dog whose tail he stepped on or a fit of crying (sometimes genuine, sometimes with the intent of guilt.) Sometimes he gets an awkward smile trying to seem unbothered by the whole situation.Â
You donât falter though. You donât even flinch at the words, cold as ice and steely. It throws him off.Â
âI know,â You say back, prying the letter away from him. You turn the other way, walking towards the metal grates and for a minute Rin wonders if youâre going to do something drastic. You donât though, instead sticking your the paper in the air âThatâs why I have a proposal,âÂ
He stares, absolutely dumbfounded. You turn again towards him.Â
âI want to get to know you. And keep confessing to you,â You say first, and Rin immediately goes to reject you until you put your hands up âAnd I want you to keep rejecting me.âÂ
Heâs baffled. Really.Â
âWhat?âÂ
âSo I can gradually lose my feelings for you. Nothing that different on your end, honestly..âÂ
It sounds annoying. It really does. If it were anyone else, under any other circumstance he would scoff and tell them to deal with their own shitty feelings alone just like everyone else. But thereâs no hidden intention there. Rinâs always been good at sniffing that out. Your words are pure as can be.
Frustratingly simple and twice as sincere, no matter how confusing the whole thing is.Â
âWhy should I?âÂ
âWe can be friends,â You reply like itâs the best deal he could ask for. âIsnât that enough? Not like you really have any right now.âÂ
He scoffs bitterly albeit he canât counter you.Â
âFriendship is lukewarm. I donât care about any of that stuff,âÂ
âLukewarm? Really? Then..think of it like Iâll be your shield. You hate when people socialize with you right? Iâll help you deal with it.âÂ
That doesnât sound too bad actually. On top of that, heâs kind of curious what your deal is. He rolls his eyes at you, turning to face the other way.Â
âDo whatever you want. Itâs not like it matters.âÂ
His response makes you beam. He hears you shout from the otherside of the yard, followed by the sound of your footsteps noisily thudding against the concrete as you try to catch up with him. He walks faster than you just to spite you for earlier, but he hears your last words through a huff of breath.Â
âJeez, youâre fast. Iâll see you at lunch, be prepared!âÂ
Somehow, he feels like heâs crossed paths with something he shouldnâtâve.Â
__
You keep up with your end of the deal with Rin to the best of your ability.Â
The upsides of your arrangement is that the usual annoyances Rin has to deal with have decreased significantly in the time youâve been hanging around him. Youâre very good at using your speech to sway conversations one way or the other without upsetting the other party.
Normally, Rinâs rejections for different things leave a bitter taste in the air. Heâs never been good at mincing his words for anyone and while it doesnât affect him - the strange stares and whispers he gets are a little annoying to deal with. People always take his disinterest personally. Rin has always hated that. He was probably a little gentler about the denial before but still.Â
While other people are too stupid to pay it any mind, youâre clever at turning the tides your way. You always manage to completely divert their questions without making them feel uncomfortable. Rin has tried, many times, to actually break down how youâre doing it. He doesnât think heâd ever be able to replicate it, no matter how much he studies you.Â
Heâs reluctant to admit it, but really, your presence has significantly lowered the number of obstacles in his daily life and made him overall, less irritable.Â
Instead of many annoying things, thereâs only you. Which is tolerable in comparison.Â
You also expect him to uphold his end of the deal. For the most part, this has just meant you inserting yourself into his usual activities. It started out small enough, mostly just you sitting with him during lunch. It draws too much attention to eat in the classroom so you both fuck off to the roof.Â
(You often joke about how romantic it is, reminiscing on your rejected first love with as much melodrama as you can muster.Â
Rin never laughs about it to your face, but he admits itâs funny. Your stupidity is mildly amusing, at least )Â
There, you eat lunch together. Rin learns you make yourself colorful bentos from time to time- though some days are much less elaborate than others. You like to unwind that way, your designated and nightly me-time. You work part-time, and you take care of your neighbors kids by helping them every morning and night.Â
Rin doesnât ask you for more, not willing to deliberately show interest.Â
But you notice his curiosity for better or for worse and explain that she, the woman next door, used to make you dinner back when your parents were too busy. You have an older brother who's nearly twelve years your senior so you were alone for most of your childhood. She had children late, but they feel like your little siblings. So you help them in the mornings and in the evenings when you have time.Â
Rin learns you, funnily enough, have a sense of obligation towards other people that he canât fully comprehend. He forgot there were people like that. In an environment like Bluelock that is so dead set on fostering ego, itâs easy to forget something so simple.Â
You havenât confessed to him again since that time. Not like heâs expecting it, but given your personality he wonders why. He thought itâd be more of a daily occurence, something like a bit you did. But you never do. Even when at times, itâs so heavy in the atmosphere even he can tell you want too.Â
Admittedly, Rin wonders a lot more about you than he cares to. He wonders why you spend so much time with him when you have plenty of other friends who seem to cherish you. He wonders why you care so much about the dying club you're in. He wonders if this, in some strange way, stems from some kind of obligation.
He wonders, sometimes, what about him you could even like. Itâs probably something stupid. Youâd probably think long and hard before going on to say that you like him because heâs handsome or cool. Something shallow and meaningless.Â
He tells himself that when he starts thinking about it again.Â
__
Rin gets roped into cleaning the classroom with you.Â
Heâs used to being paired with other people. But heâs never had to do with you before, even in the years prior. Or maybe he did. He doesnât recall much of his first year.Â
Still, now that itâs already mid-May, Rin has never been on cleaning duty with you. Heâs conscious of the sound of your name these days. Itâs not something heâs happy about.Â
Itâs a simple affair. Just 15 or 20 minutes. Nothing to talk about. Not really.Â
But, today youâre alone with him. Alone in an empty classroom with light pouring through the windows and reflecting off of the wooden desks. Youâre busying yourself with wiping down the chalkboard, humming quietly. Rin has the broom and dust pan, slowly working himself towards the front of the room.Â
Itâs mostly quiet. Just your humming. The soft thud of a dust pan, a gentle brush of the bristle.Â
Rin feels a crick in his neck, half-way done with the task at hand. He stares at you, off in the front. In your own little world as you fix everything up diligently without turning your head to look up at him even once.Â
The nape of your neck is visible from the way youâre standing. Thereâs a chain there. Do you wear a necklace under your uniform? He can see the slope of your shoulders. The light reflects on you.Â
It stops him dead in his tracks. All he can hear is the quiet. The soft humming of your voice. The thud of the dust pan, the woosh of an eraser. The gentle bristle of a broom. The sound of his own heartbeat, a little louder than it was a minute ago.Â
He shakes his head. He goes back to sweeping.Â
__
âWhy do you look like that?âÂ
You look depressed. For Rin, this expression on you is unusual. You do look sad sometimes. Somber, occasionally but the look you have on your face right now is down right harrowing. Youâre staring blankly out into the open, sitting in the usual spot the two of you have lunch at. But youâve hardly touched your food and your favorite juicebox (a lunchtime staple) doesnât have a straw in it yet.Â
Itâs freaking him out, quite frankly. He stares at you, waving a hand in front of your face until you click back into reality. You jump in your skin at the sight of him before taking a deep breath once youâve realized whoâs in front of you.Â
âOh. Itâs just you. Sorry,â You say, immediately going for your juice. See? âWhat did you say?âÂ
He sighs, sitting down next to you with his own lunch. Nothing special, something his mom likes to pack when heâs at home - though he doesnât often take it. He opens up his own tin, taking chopsticks out attached from the top.Â
âI asked why you looked like that.âÂ
âLike what?âÂ
âLike someone just died.âÂ
You look at him morbidly, clasping your hands and leaning forward with your elbows on your knees.Â
âMy midterm grades,â You say solemnly, voice wavering ever so slightly âTheyâre detestable. A shame to my bloodline.âÂ
Rin looks at you plainly.Â
âArenât you an idiot to begin with?âÂ
âHey! Iâll have you know Iâm average. Super average. But I scored even lower than usual and Iâm concerned. I need to do well on the next one and on my entrance exams.âÂ
Oh, right. Rin forgot since he has no plans to take any.Â
âDo you know what you want to do for college?â He asks, mostly out of obligation.Â
âI want to study journalism.â Thereâs a wispiness to your way of speaking. It gives the air a sentimental feel. âThereâs a private university with a good program I want to get into but theyâre kind of tough. So I have to focus and do well,âÂ
âWhat subject are you struggling with?âÂ
You deflate all over again.Â
âChemistry and Classical Japanese,âÂ
Rin does well in both subjects. He thinks it over, and decides he can consider this payback. Thatâs all it is. Heâs never liked owing people for favors and while you say this much is enough - Rin can rest assured about your little deal if heâs actually been of use to you in return. He remains impassive as he takes a sip of water.Â
âDo you want me to help you study?âÂ
You turn to him immediately, suddenly full of life. He doesnât like the gleam in your eyes, an immediate regret settling in as he stares at you, eyes full of disdain. You donât hesitate grabbing his hand, putting it to your forehead and bowing deeply as you face him. Youâre like a fly that keeps buzzing around him.Â
âAre you serious? Really? Forreal? Do you mean it?âÂ
âIf you keep being a dipshit Iâm going to take it back,âÂ
You pull away, hands folded in your lap, going stone faced.
âI would be very grateful,â You say, hands clasped in front of your face. He rolls his eyes.Â
âDonât get the wrong idea,â He says bluntly, staring out into space âI just donât want to owe you any favors.âÂ
This you laugh at, leaning back on the wall behind you - with your legs stretched out.Â
âDonât worry,â You reply, self-assured. âSomehow, you asking me to study with you so innocently really cements it in that you donât have a shred of affection for me.âÂ
Something in him stirs. He ignores it.Â
âNever in a million years.âÂ
You laugh light-heartedly.Â
âYouâre so cold to me, Itoshi-kun.âÂ
âYou still call me that.â He grimaces. You stare at him confused.Â
âHow else would I call you?âÂ
âWhen you use my last name it reminds me of my brother,âÂ
â...Are you implying I should use your first name?âÂ
Oh. Shit. That is what he sort of said, isnât it?Â
âNo,â He denies, somehow unable to come up with anything worthwhile âDonât address me at all.âÂ
âEh? But thatâs impossible? I can try but,âÂ
Only an idiot like you would think to actually try. He shakes his head. Itâs no good after all.Â
âShut up,â He decides, because thereâs not anything else he can think to say âWe can study at the library.âÂ
Youâre quick to reject the proposal.Â
âWe have to pick somewhere else. Like a cafe or something,â You say, not looking at him. You have your phone pulled up now, looking for places nearby. Heâs lost again.Â
âWhat? Why? Isnât it easier if itâs at school?âÂ
You glance over at him wide-eyed, before suddenly smiling. Itâs a knowing smile, almost like you feel sorry for him. He wants to ask why you look like that. Itâs weirdly guarded and he hates that from you. He stares at you, trying to will you to explain yourself. Youâre good at reading his thoughts, frustratingly enough, so heâs not accustomed to asking.Â
Which means your lack of answer is deliberate, and even with the pressure heâs putting on you, you donât budge.
âTrust me on this one,â You voice light and airy. âItâs better if we find somewhere away from school, too. Thereâs still some time to look, so no rush.âÂ
He lets it go because he doesnât have any other choice. Lunch passes and you talk like everything's normal.
The question lingers in the back of his mind.Â
__Â
Rin spends most of his time between classes watching soccer. If he has some free time on his day off, heâll look for a new movie to watch. Thereâs a new foreign film coming out from a director who he really likes and heâs just finished watching the trailer.
Thirsty, with nothing to do - he stands to his feet and briefly surveys the classroom. He wants a drink and thereâs a vending machine down the hallway with a sports drink that tastes like..something.Â
His airpods are close to being dead so thereâs no music as he makes his way. Heâs not a fan of being forced to listen to the chatter of the general populace so itâs not that hard to ignore. Â
It catches his attention when he hears your name in passing before turning the corner of the hall. It stops him dead in his tracks, something tense left in the syllables after . He doesnât know why he stopped, not exactly. He figured itâd be annoying if his presence caused a ruckus.Â
Heâs used to people talking about you, though they usually describe you as a busybody. The Senpai whoâs everywhere. A hand in every jar, or something like that. But thereâs a tone to that, mild amusement - never malice, that Rin is more than accustomed to.Â
This is not that, he notices. He leans on the wall and listens. A group of girls. Some of the voices he recognizes. Theyâre from the third year classroom down the hall.Â
âItâs like, I donât know,â Eto-san, he thinks. Sheâs come up to him before, more times than he can really count on one hand. Rin knows the type. Kind but not really. To the point itâs hard for anyone to call her out on it. âItâs weird how much she hangs around him. Sheâs not a bad girl or anything,âÂ
The addition makes Rinâs eye twitch. Yeah. Heâs very familiar with this type. He keeps listening. Another voice, but he has no idea who this one is.Â
âReally? But Senpai is pretty kind to me,âÂ
âMm, I guess so. I just wonder if it makes Itoshi-kun uncomfortable, you know? With pushy people like that, it doesnât matter how blunt you are. I just worry about him a bit.âÂ
If it wasnât so annoying to listen in, Rin would laugh. Heâs never understood girls. Especially not highschool ones. He doesnât pay attention to that kind of social hierarchical shit to begin with, only forced to acknowledge it because other people do. None of it matters to him.
He does think back to what you said a week ago, about finding a place away from school to study. It clicks. You probably know they talk about you like this. Or you could surmise this outcome. Rin should expect that level of awareness from you. Sincere. Always attuned to everyone. Of course this is something you know but he doesnât.Â
Why didnât you tell him? Thatâs annoying. Itâs nothing he couldnât deal with knowing. He wouldâve got it if you explained it earlier.Â
âOh wow, you really care about him Eto-san,âÂ
Thereâs a soft chuckle that makes Rin annoyed. Is he supposed to feel grateful? Theyâve barely spoken to each other.
âItâs not like that. It must be hard since he missed second year, thatâs all.âÂ
With that, Rin decides to turn the corner.Â
Heâs a little pleased at the reaction. How everyone goes into complete silence when he arrives. He spares her a glance as he moves towards the vending machines, clicking in the buttons. A generic sports drink comes tumbling out of the bottom, and Rin grabs it with deliberate slowness - drawing out the unease.Â
Eto-san gives him a blank stare before suddenly looking cheerful. She seems a little panicked, quickly trying to make conversation with him. The words donât reach his ears as he stares down at her expressionlessly.
âAre you done?â He says, ice-cold. She stutters at that. Rin suppresses a smile.Â
âOh, uhm, yeah. Sorry, were you busy?âÂ
âYeah,â He says back, completely apathetic.Â
He doesnât plan on saying anymore in the first place. The little victories count.Â
It does feel like some kind of magic when he hears your voice from the other end of the hallway. Youâre practically shouting it, and following is the sound of the hall monitors telling you off for running as you barrel toward him full speed. He can hear the thud of your sneakers all the way till they skid to a stop.Â
Youâre out of breath, bent over your knees and messy as you put a hand up. Most times, he would be embarrassed. Heâd even tell you off for being such an idiot. Right now, he finds the corners of his lips upturned as he stares at you from where you stand.Â
âOh, hey guys. Sorry, I had some business with this guy. Oh, Fujita-chan, your hair is cute today! I like how it looks up on you,â You say, to the girl who was calling you kind just a minute ago âI hope he wasnât too cruel to you. Heâs actually afraid of women, itâs a generational curse. Every night he turns into a frog andââÂ
You shuffle in front him, arms stretched out like a shield. He sticks his leg out and kicks your shin. You yelp in pain.Â
âWhat the hell are you talking about? Shut up.âÂ
âOw, you strong bastard. Youâre a soccer player, please be more conscious of your kicks. What if you shattered my shin? I know youâre loaded but itâs the principle of the thing, you knowââÂ
âStop talking or Iâll kick you a second time.âÂ
You go silent immediately.Â
âForgive me, Itoshi-sama. Iâve strayed from the path of righteousness. Alas, the people need you.â You say, turning around.Â
âSpeak clearly.âÂ
âHomeroom teacher wanted to double check with you about after graduation plans and told me to go get you.âÂ
âWhy you?â
âI was already walking around for the newspaper club.âÂ
He nods, not needing any more explanation.Â
âH-hey, arenât you acting too friendly with him?âÂ
So she decided to speak. This makes you falter, just a little, and Rin detests the look of self-satisfaction on her face. He speaks this time. Itâs not like he canât fight any of his own battles.Â
âItâs fine,â He says, not bothering to think about it. He looks at you, as you stare back at him where he stands, wide-eyed. Idiot. âI donât mind.â
You grin at him. Big and rounded and stupid, with all of your teeth like youâre giddy. If the hallway monitor wasnât up your ass, he figures youâd be skipping about now. You usher him into the hall, back where he came from, waving them off.
âBe seeing you guys, then! Bye!âÂ
And youâre off. Itâs quiet until youâre both completely out of ear-shot. Before he can go any further you stand in front of him, hands behind your back with a dumb look on your face. He already knows what youâre going to say.Â
âHey. I really like you a lot. Just now⌠my heart was fluttering. I thought I was hallucinating,âÂ
âYouâre a moron,âÂ
âAhhh, what should I do? Iâm all hot under the collar. Is this what itâs like being a maiden in love? Itâs great.âÂ
âHow can you say that knowing Iâve already rejected you?âÂ
âItâs because youâve rejected me, I can say that.âÂ
And Rin doesn't really get it. Heâs not sure he ever will.Â
But you seem happy enough. He decides against prying.Â
__
Somehow, youâve ended up at Rinâs house.Â
He doesnât know how it happened. Really.Â
He mentioned to his mother off-handedly that he needed to help someone study. He shouldâve lied about it then, but coming off of running drills makes him pretty stupid. He uses most of his brain power when he trains. So in an altered state of mind due to dehydration, hunger and general exhaustion - he answered honestly instead of lying.Â
Youâre helping someone study? Yes, theyâre from my class.Â
Is it a boy or a girl? A girl. Weâre friends.Â
You canât study at the library? She doesnât want to, so weâre trying to find somewhere else.Â
Why not invite her here, if her parents are okay with it? Her parentâs donât really pay enough attention to be bothered.Â
Wait, what is he saying?Â
Rin doesnât know how it happened. Really. Really. He tried pretty hard to reject his mothers advances about the situation but heâs never been one to upset her. The whole thing with Sae really tore her up so they both had a silent agreement to try and get along at home. And since Rin is still living at home for now, he tries harder to listen to her. Even so, he wasnât planning on yielding for this one.Â
Rin is not immune to his mothers guilt. A long lecture about how her only sons never cared about anything but soccer and how sheâs worried sheâs never going to have grandchildren later, he finally gave in and gave you a call at his dinner table.Â
He was hoping you would come through and reject the offer. Say something stupid about how thatâs dangerous territory for a young girl in love and let his mom down gently. He forgot about your whole thing about responsibility and being a nice girl who gets along well with adults.Â
And now, the door is ringing and Rin knows heâs going to open it to you. He mostly blames himself for not thinking ahead.
Rin opens the door on a Saturday afternoon and the first thing he thinks is that youâre not wearing your uniform.Â
You lookâŚdifferent. Itâs weird. Your hair is styled in an unusual way, tied with something like ribbon. Youâre wearing something flowy and loose but the neck is a little rounder than usual. Thereâs a necklace there, a heart-pendant with a chain. You have in...earrings.Â
Rin thinks vaguely that you lookâŚsomething. He doesnât know. But in his vision youâre like a troublesome and amorphous blob that yammers on about nothing. And right now you lookâŚnot like that.Â
âYouâre dressed up.â Are the first words to come out of his mouth. You blink at him owlishly.
âOh. Yeah. I wanted to make a good impression on your mom so I tried not to look sloppy.â You say sheepishly. He leans against the doorframe.Â
âShe doesnât care about stuff like that.âÂ
âWell I do, okay? Now, can I come in?âÂ
âThe white slippers are for you.â
He steps aside and lets you in. You have perfect manners. He probably shouldâve expected that. You take your shoes off neatly and place them on the rack the same way, slipping your feet into the slippers provided. Rin just watches, eyes tracing the curve of your neck.Â
âWhereâs your mom?â You ask.
âIn the kitchen making dinner. Youâre staying for dinner right?âÂ
You blink at him, surprised.Â
âI mean itâs not like I canât.âÂ
âSheâd be upset if you didnât.â He says noncommittally before walking you down to the kitchen.Â
His mother is right where he expects. He stands in the corner as you shuffle in watching on. She turns around to look at you, wiping her hands on her apron.Â
âOh, my, you must be Rinâs friend? Such a lovely girl. Welcome! Welcome.âÂ
To this, you bow your head as deep as it can go. The air around you feels serious. Rin scoffs internally. Thereâs a strange feeling in his chest that he canât describe, seeing you bowing in front of his mom. An itch he canât reach, locked tight around his ribs.Â
You give his mother your name first and she smiles like sheâs absolutely delighted just hearing it.Â
âThank you for having me. I brought some fruit with me as a gift, I hope thatâs alright.âÂ
His mom shoots him a look that Rin deflects by turning away, opening the plastic bag youâve handed to her.Â
âOh my! Arenât these expensive fruits? Please thank your parents for me!âÂ
âOh no, donât worry about that. I work part-time, so I paid for them myself. It was the least I could do. Iâm grateful for the tutoring.âÂ
You tense up, realizing that mightâve been an awkward thing to say. It isnât. Even if it was, Rinâs mother has always been soft-hearted. His dad tells him theyâre a lot alike but Rin doesnât see it. Whatever it may be, Rinâs mom is too doting and too sociable to let you feel bad. Right now she seems emotional, an expression between empathy and pride. She reaches for you like itâs the most natural thing in the world, patting your head gently.
âHow diligent. Thank you, then, for the fruit.âÂ
Rin canât see your face but itâs easy to picture.Â
âOf course. And pardon the intrusion! And uhm, thank you for having me for dinner.âÂ
Clumsy. Rin thinks youâre clumsy. A flickering light. His mom laughs brightly and tells you not to worry. She leans in closer like sheâs whispering but Rin can hear her loud and clear.Â
âRin can be very brash but heâs a good boy, so thank you for being kind to him.âÂ
He feels embarrassed. Even readies himself to intervene.Â
âHe is very kind to me.âÂ
Wait. What?
His mom smiles even brighter, and mouths something like âtake care of herâ when youâre not looking. He wants to stop it before it starts. Youâre not dating. Youâre hardly even friends, youâre just here to study. Rin almost wants to shout it, but heâs stuck. Before he can do any of that, youâre turning around and smiling like you havenât said anything strange.Â
What do you mean heâs kind to you? When his whole thing is rejecting you mercilessly? Being cruel?
What kind of person would ever describe him as kind?Â
He canât find the words he wants to say, so he takes you to his room in silence.Â
__
You both make it to Rinâs room in one piece.
Youâve been studying now for about an hour. Given your personality, Rin was expecting more of a fuss. He thought youâd make some comment about being in a boys room and then fight off the actual studying like the plague.Â
Much to his surprise, you started studying with him right away. Rin tries his best to tutor you, though he does make fun of you in the process. But youâre a try-hard all the same, stopping only to ask questions and get clarification occasionally.
Youâve been focused that whole time, miraculously enough. Rin studies too, but only a bit, after deciding to study some recent matches instead.Â
( Every now and again, heâll glance at you. Just to see if youâre stuck or still working. Each time, he gets caught up on the fact youâre not in your uniform and has to tear his eyes away. )Â
After a bout of silence, you yawn out loud, quietly shutting your workbook.Â
âIâve finished all my practice problems for today,â You announce, before deciding to lay down on his floor âIâm beat.âÂ
âI thought you were gonna give up before you started.â Rin admits. You frown at him.Â
âI was serious about needing tutoring. Thanks for all your help.âÂ
âI already told you itâs fine. Is there anything else? Finals are next week.âÂ
You shake your head.Â
âMm, I donât think so. One of the guys from the newspaper club helped me with math so Iâll be okay.âÂ
âŚHuh?Â
âFrom the newspaper club?âÂ
âHuh? Yeah. Murata-senpai. Weâre in the same year. Heâs a few months older so he insists on making me call him Senpai.âÂ
âAnd he helped you with math?âÂ
âYeah. He was a delinquent like, all of first year but he really cleaned up his act. Heâs actually really gentle.â
Rin frowns at that.Â
âDo people usually describe delinquents as gentle?â Â
You make a noise of indignance from where youâre laid on his floor.Â
âHey. Murata-senpai is really nice, okay? And he is gentle, so I wonât tolerate your usual judginess.âÂ
Rin rolls his eyes.Â
âHowâd you even meet him?âÂ
âUhâŚI wanted to write a column about him, basically. He was helping in the garden last year and I kindaâŚstalked him. It sounds worse than it is. I just wanted to know what made him change.âÂ
âSo stalking people is pretty typical for you.âÂ
You sit up and gape at him. Rin suppresses a laugh.Â
âAnyways. I eventually flagged him down for an interview. Apparently, he had a real scare with his granny getting sick and decided he needed to cut the shit. Heâs a good guy. He joined the newspaper club after the interview,âÂ
âAfter the interviewâŚ?âÂ
You nod, leaning forward with your elbows on the table in front of you.Â
âUh-huh. Said he was interested because of my passion or something. Heâs been really nice to me ever since and helps me with all of the ideas I have.â You soften as you talk about it. Rin feels an ugly emotion in his chest âIâm worried about what will happen to the club after graduation, but Senpai is always encouraging me to make the most out of the time we still have. So Iâm really thankful for him. Thatâs why you have to be nice.âÂ
Rin is super annoyed. He doesnât know why heâs so annoyed but he is. How do you not realize this guy likes you? He doesnât know why heâs opening his mouth to tell you whatâs so obvious. Itâs not like it really matters. Rin doesnât like you in the first place, so if he informs you that your beloved Murata-senpai has feelings for you - itâs no big deal.Â
In fact it might be better for everyone if you realize. Heâs just frustrated by how clueless you can be sometimes.Â
âHeâs interested in you,â Rin says, against his better judgment. It feels like the words are welling up in his throat âYour senpai or whatever.âÂ
You blink at him stupidly. He wonders if youâre wearing mascara.Â
âHuh? I doubt that somehow. Senpai is kind to me but I think he sees me like a little sister.âÂ
He scoffs at you.Â
âYou would think that. Most guys arenât just nice to girls they donât like.âÂ
âNot everyone is like you, yanno.â You say back without thinking twice. Thatâs not the point this time, he wants to say. And heâs right for this one. Anyone else with half of a brain would realize. Youâre just⌠you. Which means youâre absolutely unaware of things pertaining to you. Itâs the only reason he can think youâd deny something so obvious.Â
The only reason you could come to the house of a boy you liked just to study.Â
âShut up. Iâm saying this because youâre too much of a dumbass to put it together on your own. The guy definitely likes you.âÂ
âI didnât know you were a love guru,â You say sarcastically, sticking your tongue out at him. Childish. Annoying âIt doesnât matter if he does.âÂ
âWhy wouldnât it matter?âÂ
You give him an incredulous look.Â
âUnfortunately my heart is captured by an aloof sportsman.âÂ
He doesnât know why he feels relieved when you say that. He feels his heart all the way in his throat like heâs going to throw it up, even though his expression remains impassive.Â
âYou already know I donât like you, though. Itâs a good opportunity, isnât it? Donât a lot of people move on that way.â
You shake your head.Â
âIâm not that sort of wishy-washy woman.â You reply, huffing your chest up and trying to ease the tension. You stop to shake your head, a small smile on your face. âYou wouldnât get it even if I explained.âÂ
âItâs annoying when you do that,â Rin voices, not bothering to cut it any other way âYou did that with the girls at school too. Iâm never gonna get it if you donât bother explaining it to me.âÂ
You soften at this, then whisper.Â
â...Why do you care?â But itâs not said with any malice. Itâs not said sadly either. Just curious. He freezes, but doesnât let it show. He wants to ask himself the same question.Â
âI donât. Itâs just,â And he scoffs, not looking at your face âItâs a pain.âÂ
You hum, not expecting more of an answer.Â
âI want to treasure my own feelings towards you,â You say, and something in Rin feels like itâs being set on fire. âItâs not just about having a boyfriend. If it was, then Iâd consider Senpai's feelings.âÂ
â...So itâs about me, specifically?âÂ
âYeah,â You say without offering any more explanation than that âIt is. I like you.â
The words but why, linger in the air. You seem to be feeling merciful, as you lean back on your palms and stare up at his ceiling. You wear your heart outside of your body, more often than not. And he thinks that part of you is so hard to get used to.Â
âYouâre really awkward. And aloof. And you donât have any friends.âÂ
âIs this some kind of revenge orâŚ?âÂ
âBut. Youâre also sensitive. The more I know you, the more I think youâre kind and well-meaning. You uh, remind me of a cat.âÂ
He blinks.Â
âA cat?âÂ
âA cat. Sometimes they want their own space. And sometimes they knock your water off your desk for fun. Plus they only really care about people in their own circle,â
âAgain, is thisââÂ
âLet me finish, jeez. Theyâre solitary creatures. But like when they accept you, they get comfortable. Anâ nice . And they look out for you in their own way. To me youâre a lot like that.âÂ
You give him a smile so warm it makes his back hot. So loud and so vibrant like it burst out of him at any minute.Â
âIâve uh, always been interested in you. I watched you play in Bluelock too. I kept thinking to myself, thereâs something about you. I want to know more, even if itâs just a little. Stuff like that.â You talk so quietly yet itâs all Rin can hear. All Rin can see in his vision is you. All Rin can think about is you. âIâve always been interested in other peoples stories. So I thought, what a waste it would be, to throw away that feeling because of something like love or like. I thought, âWhat's your story, Itoshi Rin?ââÂ
Rin doesnât know what to say so he chooses to say nothing.Â
âWhen I confessed, I knew you would never like me. Because thatâs just the sort of person everyone says you are. Still, what a waste, right? You miss all the shots you donât take or whatever. So, I wanted to get to know you. I guess.â Â
âI donât get it. I get what youâre like but it still doesnât make any sense. Thereâs nothing special to know, is there?âÂ
âFeeling that is special, donât you think? Thatâs a special reason to me.âÂ
He doesnât follow. You laugh lightly.Â
âIf I never became interested in Murata-senpaiâs story, I wouldâve never been his friend. If I gave up on trying to know you, just because you didnât return to my one-sided feelings, then I wouldâve never gotten to know you either. Donât you think thatâs a waste?âÂ
Rin doesnât know. Heâs never really cared about it. Heâs rejected so many confessions and never once thought enough about any of them in any depth. That part of you is foreign. He can chalk it up to a difference in character. He canât understand wanting to know someone just because.Â
(Or maybe he can. He just hasnât until now. Until this very moment, suspended in time. Where he wants to know what things make you the way you are.)Â
Some small, dark part of him wants to ask why. Over and over until his throat feels raw - long enough to understand it. Even as he grips onto that desire so tight, with such bruising force, the words sit in his mouth. They taste like iron. They taste like a bitten tongue. If youâve watched him all this time, then you know. Being chosen. Heâs never been confident in that. Rin wants to ask, why him?Â
Whatâs so special? Enough to keep talking to him? Enough to do any of this? Is getting to know people is always this difficult, he wonders. Does it always feel uncomfortable to be in proximity with someone?Â
In the end, he canât bring himself to ask. He canât even bear to examine it in himself, the sense of dread washing over him like sickness. Heâs nauseous. And this time, thereâs a residue of tension heâs finding increasingly difficult to ignore.Â
You come through again. He wonders if you can read his mind just like you do with all the nobodies at school.Â
âRin-kun,â You say, your voice like the summer heat. âGetting to know you makes me feel like my feelings arenât a waste. Iâm happy getting to know you. I want to treasure that.âÂ
What happens when you run out of things to know? The question is too heavy. He settles on a different one. He wants to understand it more. Just to put himself at ease.Â
âIsnât being in the same room with someone who rejected you uncomfortable?âÂ
âMaybe. But thereâs a clear line for me and you, so itâs cool. In like, ten years, maybe someone will interview me about you. As your classmate and stuff. And Iâll go - âHeâs actually a really nice guy. I actually had a crush on him.â If I can say that, without being regretful, then thatâll be enough for me.âÂ
âThatâll be enough for you? Really?âÂ
âReally.âÂ
âYouâre so weird.â He says, unsure of what else he could possibly say. You giggle, and lay back down on his floor.Â
âI knew youâd say that.âÂ
__Â
Summer comes.Â
It doesnât occur to Rin how often he sees you in school until it all comes to a halt. He has your number, and you text him often - about unimportant and trivial shit that you think of. In that way, it doesnât even really feel like youâve separated.Â
But the sudden absence of your chattering in his life makes everything feel especially quiet. Summer is a boring time for Rin. Itâs mostly the same. Practicing and playing and studying. On the few occasions heâs been out, itâs because some of the other Bluelock members are gathering and refuse to let him know even a breath of peace.
Heâs seen Sae now, though they never really talk about anything. Sort of just look at each other and exchange enough words that their mom doesnât cry before going back to their room. Sae will be gone before school starts back up again, so Rin isnât all that worried about it.Â
It occurs to Rin for the first time that this summer will be the last of his highschool days. Heâs never been sentimental about stuff like that - so he figures youâre to blame for these sudden thoughts.Â
Your summer has been a lot busier than his. He should probably expect this from you by now, but your surprisingly youthful social life always shocks him. Youâve been working part-time as usual. In that time though, youâve also been to the beach and been on an overnight trip to Osaka with your newspaper club.Â
(Rin wasnât happy to hear about this. He was relieved to know it was with a teacher and that you roomed with a girl. But still, not exactly his favorite of anecdotes for the summer.)Â
Youâve invited Rin more than once to come hang out with you, but heâs basically always declined. The group setting is troublesome, but being alone with you feels even worse somehow. It wouldnât be a date, obviously, but it would be something. Something deliberate.Â
Rin doesnât know if he can come see you in good faith for such a reason.Â
Itâs another day spent doing his usual. Being technical, itâs a rest day, which means heâs only allowed to stretch. He has done his basics. Studied, messed around with his ball, responded to a barrage of texts from Bachira and Isagi. He played games for a while, checking out a new horror game before deciding itâd be best not to get too sucked in so he has something to play next time.Â
After all that, during a mid-August day while Rin sits on his couch and watches T.V., he receives a facetime call from you for the very first time. At first, he just lets it ring. But when it keeps ringing - he figures your persistence is going to continue unless he replies.Â
He looks around. No one's home, so he doesnât need to go to his room. He swipes, and the call connects. The screen shows him, propped up against something with a full shot of your room. Youâre turned away from the camera. Rin just stares.Â
âOh, shit - did you actually pick up?âÂ
âShould I hang up.âÂ
âNo! No, I just wasnât expecting you. Donât hang up. I need a guy's opinion.âÂ
âWhat? What for?âÂ
âI got in a fight with my brother about a dress I bought,â You say, exasperated, and Rin is surprised because you hardly see him. âI know heâs probably looking out for me but I donât think we talk enough for him to be telling me how to dress.âÂ
âHeâs older than you, right? Maybe you should listen to him.âÂ
âYouâre the last person I want to hear that from. Either way, Iâm not a kid. Iâm already 18 and Iâm going to college. Itâs a cute dress! I feel like itâs fine.â
âSo..whyâd you call me again?âÂ
âIâm gonna try it on and show you. Murata-senpai is busy.âÂ
âYou shouldnât do that to a guy who likes you.â Rin deadpans. You laugh.
âShut up. I really need an opinion. I wanted to wear it to go out today so if itâs actually too provocative then I have to change my outfit.âÂ
âWhere are you even going?âÂ
âMy friend needs to get a concealer, so probably the mall or something. After that Iâll go buy some stationary.âÂ
âAlone? What about your friend?âÂ
âSheâs gonna go see her boyfriend.âÂ
âWhy canât you just go with them? Or ask them to go with youâÂ
âAnd third wheel? Iâm good. I just need some stationary and then Iâll be home. Easy peasy. Anyway, whatâs with the interrogation?âÂ
âItâs not interrogation.â He insists. Youâre offscreen so Rin canât see you, but he can hear the sound of a zipper echo in the speakers. Heâs also sure youâre rolling your eyes.Â
When you come on camera, the dress of the hour is on display. Rinâs first thought is to tell you to take it off. It is too provocative to him. The front is fine as is, but itâs nearly backless and itâs cut too high on your thighs. Heâs never seen so much of your skin. Maybe thatâs a given, since he didnât go to the beach with you either.Â
You give him a quick spin, before patting the front down. You say something, but the words donât register. It feels like his brain is full of cotton or something.Â
âSo? Too much? I mean itâs backless but like. I donât know, itâs kind of loose? And the sleeves are long. Neckline isnât that bad, either.âÂ
Rin just says what he thinks âYou shouldnât go out alone wearing it.âÂ
You frown at him.Â
âThatâs not helpful, Rin-kun.âÂ
âItâsâŚfine. What time does your friend have to go?âÂ
âProbably right after weâre done.âÂ
He sighs.Â
âTell her to go with her boyfriend early. Iâll come with you to get your stationary.âÂ
âWait, what? Did I hear that right? Youâre coming to get me? After Iâve been hounding you to hang out? Whatâs with the change of heart?âÂ
âI donât have anything to do since itâs a rest day. You need stuff and I donât think you should be out alone. Donât read into it.âÂ
âKinda hard not too but Iâm not gonna complain. Are you coming right now?âÂ
âYeah. Send me your address.âÂ
__Â
Rin has no idea what impulse has brought him here.Â
Thatâs not entirely true. What brought him to your apartment towards the end of summer is impulse. He acted on nothing but impulse.
Rin, for better or for worse, finds that youâre clueless about yourself. The fact you were going to call Murata-senpai is already bothering him enough. That, along with the fact you wore the dress and didnât think it was too short is troubling. Itâs not that Rin wants to tell you what not to wear. He doesnât have the right but you did ask.Â
Anyway, itâs a lot less agitating if youâre being accompanied while wearing it. Going alone in something like that, even if itâs the middle of summer, would be stupid. Â
Rin doesnât make it a habit of worrying about the outfits of girls he doesnât know. He does know you though. He thinks youâd be really annoying if something happened and you got upset about it. So, all heâs doing is preventing that outcome. Itâs nothing more than that.Â
He knocks on your door as he shakes the thoughts out of his head, and heâs greeted by a man in his late twenties. It dawns on Rin that this is your brother. He really didnât think this through.Â
Your brother is an imposing person. Heâs a head taller than Rin with a gruff voice and a scar on his cheek. Rin stares at him blankly.Â
âWho are you?âÂ
âItoshi Rin. Iâm here forââÂ
âNii-san, tell Rin-kun to come inside and sit! Iâm not done getting ready.âÂ
Your brother glares at him.Â
âWhoâs he? Your boyfriend? Is that whyââÂ
You come stumbling out of your room, half-dressed and Rin immediately averts his eyes. This is the most uncomfortable experience of his life.
âHeâs not my boyfriend. He already rejected me, so weâre just friends. Stop fussing and let him in, itâs hot out.âÂ
âHe rejected you?âÂ
Rin should just leave.Â
âI already knew he was going to. Now move,âÂ
Rin doesnât enjoy being involved in your sibling quarrel. Suddenly, he feels a twinge of regret about some old Bluelock memories. He understands it now more than ever, gaining a little empathy.Â
Your brother moves out of the way. Youâre standing in the hall, with a single stocking on and powder on your face heâs pretty sure is meant to be brushed. You grin at him.Â
âSorry! I wonât be long, promise. You got here faster than I thought you would.âÂ
Rin can feel a pair of eyes in the back of his skull.Â
âUh. Yeah. I took the bus so it was quick.âÂ
âIt might be uncomfortable here. Do you wanna sit in my room instead? Itâs colder but itâs kind of a messââÂ
âHe can sit here.â Your brother insists. Rin is never leaving his house again. You frown.Â
âDidnât I already tell you weâre not dating? Heâs not even interested in me, itâs not like anything is gonna happen.âÂ
âItâs the principle of it.â Yeah. Definitely siblings.Â
âWhatever. If you make him uncomfortable, Iâm gonna yell at you. Rin-kun, sorry. Do you need anything? Juice? Water?âÂ
Your hospitality throws him off. Youâre different at home.Â
âUh. No. Iâm okay.âÂ
âOkay, then Iâll hurry and get dressed. Nii-san, please be civil.âÂ
With that, you flounce back up to your room. Your brother is staring hard in Rinâs direction. Heâs not intimidated. Itâs just⌠so awkward itâs kind of unbearable for him. What do people usually do in this situation? Rinâs not exactly the sociable type.
âShe confessed to you?âÂ
Rin is startled.Â
âUh. Yeah. In April.âÂ
âAnd youâre friends?âÂ
âShe asked to be friends.âÂ
Your brother looks distressed.Â
âI donât understand that girl at all.âÂ
Rin doesn't either.Â
âWhatâs she like in school?âÂ
Rin stares. Oh. Heâs that kind of older brother.Â
âUh. Busy. Sheâs in the newspaper club so sheâs always doing something. She has a lot of friends and gets along with our class.âÂ
âI seeâŚthatâs good. Iâm always worried about her. Our family has always been busy and I moved out when I was 18 so⌠we donât see much of each other. She doesnât talk about herself that much either.âÂ
Rin nods absently. What circle of hell is this?Â
âShe probably thinks Iâm just being overprotective,â Bullseye âBut I just worry she grew up too fast.âÂ
Rin thinks if he were a different kind of guy, now would be the time he gives your older brother an encouraging heart to heart. The script is there. Itâs just not how he honestly feels. Rin doesnât take pleasure in defending you. But itâs hypocritical and a little ridiculous to hear it from him.
Some of it is leftover resentment from Sae. The rest is knowing you.
You did grow up too fast. From what he knows about teenage girls, theyâre supposed to beâŚmeaner. More hysterical. More inconsiderate. Less responsible and more in the moment. Messy. All teenagers are, really.Â
For all the ways you are clumsy and ridiculous, sometimes Rin thinks youâre too off-puttingly mature. It wouldnât kill you to be more selfish. To be just a little less self-reliant. Itâs not normal is it? To be so grateful for things youâre owed. It bothers him. Always has.Â
Rin knows what the script is. But it bothers him.Â
âIf you know that then you donât really have any right to intervene,â Rin says bluntly. âSuddenly acting protective and considerate when she grew up on her own is just going to feel stifling. Arenât you just trying to make yourself feel better?âÂ
He looks surprised by his answer. Hurt too.Â
âI guess thatâs right,âÂ
He frowns.Â
âIf you actually care, just be honest. Sheâs not the type of person to turn someone away on a grudge.âÂ
Before Rin can feel embarrassed about what heâs said, you come stumbling down the steps all dressed up. Your brother gives you a look.Â
âDo you need any money?âÂ
You look at him confused then shake your head no.Â
âOkay. Stay safe and have fun.âÂ
He turns to leave. You watch him go. Rin puts his hands in his pockets like heâs trying to wipe himself of it.Â
âWeird⌠anyways. Ready to go?âÂ
âYeah.âÂ
__Â
Your outing goes well.Â
Outing. Not a date. No matter how many times people mistake you two for being on a date today - it was nothing more than an outing.Â
You start with stationary for the upcoming term, then you drag Rin to the mall because you need some more clothes. After that, you go into a bookstore to pick up some manga. Rin has fun there because he gets to pick out some new releases and you bond mutually over your tastes. Rin learns both like thrillers. You spend a lot of time together, reading over his shoulder.Â
Itâs not a date. But it wasnât bad. Heâs so used to talking to you that the entire situation doesnât feel uncomfortable at all. Youâre funnier than heâs usually willing to give you credit for. Doing all that, plus train rides, makes it so youâre not home until sundown. You, however, refuse to end the night without having some kind of treat. After a lot of begging Rin to cheat on his meal plan, the two of you get ice-cream and you drag Rin to a local playground. Apparently you bring your neighbors' kids here sometimes.Â
Now heâs here. Sitting on swings with ice-cream and it is still not a date. Rin has no opinions on the day but youâre practically bursting at the seams with happiness. The dress youâre wearing is hiking up on your thigh from how youâre sitting. He was right to accompany you, by the way. The amount of creeps heâs had to stare down today alone is outright disgusting.Â
Rin takes a spoonful of ice-cream and lets it melt in his mouth. You let your feet hit the mulch beneath you as you lick the ice-cream carefully - trying desperately not to let it spill on your hand. He watches on in amusement. After you finally get a handle on it, you give him a small look.Â
âI had fun today,â You say sentimentally. Rin feels his stomach tie in knots âThank you.â
He frowns.Â
âGross. Stop that.âÂ
âAw, câmon. Youâre so edgy. Just admit you had fun! You had a fantastic and whimsical time.âÂ
He gives you an unimpressed stare.Â
âReally? Nothing? Youâre not feeling the flames of youthful joy in your loins at all?âÂ
âDescribing it like that is disgusting.âÂ
âSo you admit you know what it is.âÂ
Rin wants to smile. Fuck, he hates you.Â
â...It wasnât bad.âÂ
You grin. Youâre so annoying.
âLadies and gents, we got an âit wasnât badâ from the ever soulless Itoshi Rin!âÂ
Stupid. So stupid.
âIt was more tolerable than hanging out with some of my other dipshit friends.âÂ
You clasp a hand over your mouth dramatically.Â
âOhâŚOh wow⌠Do you want to try proposing next? The set-up is there. Perfect ambience.âÂ
His face cracks into a begrudging smile.Â
âYouâre insufferable.âÂ
You suddenly go quiet. When Rin looks at you, youâre stunned
âWhyâre you being weird?âÂ
âNo, sorry, I was just thinking I really like you,â You say, like itâs the easiest and most natural thing in the world âIâve never seen you smile before. Itâs nice.âÂ
â...Your ability to say cringy shit like that so easily is astounding to me.âÂ
âI donât want to hear this from the guy who unironically uses lukewarm,â You say, biting into your ice-cream cone. Rin blushes. âBesides, nothing wrong with being cringe when youâre in love.âÂ
âFreak.âÂ
You give him a thumbs up.Â
âOne of a kind.âÂ
Thereâs a beat of silence. Itâs comfortable. Rin eats his too, probably a little slower than he has to. Summer feels heavy in the air.Â
âYou werenât always like..an edgelord, right?âÂ
Rin stares at you, perplexed by how sudden the question is.Â
âWhereâd you hear that from?âÂ
âYour mom after dinner. You already went upstairs. Said you had a nasty fight with your brother.âÂ
He doesnât say anything, posture stiffening at the mention of Sae.Â
âItâs not your business.âÂ
âHey. No need for the attitude. Iâm curious as your number one fan.â You say, trying to back off as much as possible. Like heâs some kind of feral cat youâre trying to calm. âDonât be mad, okay? You donât have to talk about it.âÂ
You try your best to be soothing and Rin softensÂ
He is angry. Not at you. Not really. The mention of Sae just does that to him. And if anyone else even thought to bring it up - heâd probably tell them to go fuck themselves with nothing but bitter hatred.Â
With you, thereâs not any of that. Thereâs a lingering sense of hesitance - an internal conflict, but not anger. Rinâs never enjoyed opening his heart to anyone.Â
Even so, he feels compelled to tell you, so he does.
âMy brothers a dick,â Resentment seeps into his words âHe came back from overseas and then basically insulted me for a minute straight. We were always meant to play soccer together but he went through something. He changed. We never talked about it,âÂ
âWhat? He insulted you for no reason? Thatâs so weird. Did you always have a bad relationship?âÂ
Rin sits with himself quietly.Â
âI donât know if we have one now. We were close as kids. At least.âÂ
âAnd he just⌠came back and started being an asshole to you? Seriously?âÂ
Rin nods. Thereâs not much else to the story. Rinâs tried hard not to think about the situation itself. He only uses the feelings that stayed behind to make him better. To give him a reason to play - itâs motivation and nothing more. If he starts to view it too much like what it is, betrayal, heâs afraid everything inside of him will collapse.Â
âThereâs probably more to it than that,â You conclude thoughtfully. Rin thinks the same âBut still. Youâre his baby brother. Even if heâs going through somethingâŚâÂ
Rin scoffs âYou sound like youâre worried about him.â It comes out more petulantly than he expectsÂ
âNot really. Not as much as Iâm worried about you,â You counter, giving him a small smile. Rin feels his heart leap into his throat âI just figure, you know, maybe thinking about it like that would help. You were close right? Your mom said he used to dote on you,âÂ
Rin nods. He feels his chest swell and tighten.Â
âThenâŚI bet it sucked. I bet it was hard. Or at least, it mustâve been lonely to go through that,â You say, frown deepening âSuch a sudden change would be hard for anyone to deal with, I think. Itâs okay if you feel like itâs unfair. His reasons aside.âÂ
You sigh, suddenly, covering your hands with your face.Â
âWhat?â Rin asks. You shake your head.Â
âYou poor thing. I wanna hug you to death you know. A good squeeze. Iâm trying to refrain.â You say, stomping your feet just slightly. He feels a flush crawl up his neck, turning his head to look away.Â
â...Itâs not like Iâm stopping you.âÂ
He doesnât have the courage to look at you. Not as he says it, or after to steal a glance of what face you're making. Instead, he hears the metal of the chain and feels the warmth of your body. Itâs a tight hug. Youâre standing and heâs sitting, your arms around his neck, his face directly against your chest. He widens his eyes. He wants to yell at you for being a defenseless idiot, but the feeling of being hugged so tightly washes the words away. Youâre softâŚand warm. Heâs never been hugged by someone who isnât his mom or brother before, and he canât remember the last time either thing happened to him. You pat his head.Â
Do you touch people like this often? So casually? Or is he special because you like him, he wants to ask. He wants to ask but doesnât want to know the answer, pushing the feeling down as deep as he can make it go. He wraps his arms around you loosely, above your waist trying to be respectful. Â
But he leans into the warmth. Like itâs something that happens once in a lifetime.Â
âHey, Rin.â You say, soft. He can feel the warmth of your breath against his hair.Â
âHn.âÂ
âI hope you kick your brother's ass in soccer.âÂ
You sound teary. Weirdly, it makes Rin feel better.Â
âYeah.â
__Â
School starts up again during September.Â
The autumn season welcomes warm colors, fallen leaves and the sort of cool weather that puts the summer uniforms back up on the hangers. Rin is listening to music when he spots you waiting for him at the gate, waving your hand at him. He has half a mind to ignore you, youâre so embarrassing.Â
But before he can pretend not to see, youâre jogging over to him. He has to stand so you donât end up bumping into him. You walk like you were born backwards, two left feet with such little awareness of your surroundings it stresses Rin out.Â
He gives you a blank stare as you smile, securing your bag to your shoulder.Â
âLook what the cat dragged in,â You say warmly. Rin pauses to look at you. You look different somehow. Lately you always do, Rin wonders if youâve picked up some weird shape-shifting in your time apart âAre you excited for the new semester, hm? Hmm?âÂ
He keeps walking and you fall in step with him. You try but heâs too fast, so he slows just a little. He clicks his teeth, shaking his head, eyes taking in the view of the building in front him.
âWhy would I be excited?âÂ
You shrug.Â
âBecause winter break is close? Because thereâs fun leaves outside? Because itâs your birthday in 6 days?â
He stops dead in his tracks.Â
âWhat the hell? Why do you know that?âÂ
âYour mom told me.â You say, skipping along happily to school like you didnât just say something insane. His frown deepens.Â
âYou have my moms number? You talk to my mom?âÂ
âShe loves me,â You say casually, turning only to look at him and stick your tongue out âAnd sheâs nice. Get over it.âÂ
With this, you rush into the building faster, giggling as you leave. Rin, frustrated, stomps after you.Â
__
Your time together at lunch continues into fall. Itâs the third day of the term, September 6th and youâre sitting by his side. The two of you eat in casual silence now, falling into a regular routine. Thereâs something about the whole ordeal that makes Rin feel a little funny.Â
Friendship, as it stands, is still a lukewarm idea to him. But sprawled out next to you in a comfortable quiet isnât the worst thing. The weather is cool enough to be nice and the daylight lasts for just the right amount of time to see sunset when he treks back home from practicing shooting into the net.Â
That kind of sentimental viewing of his surroundings is a bad habit heâs picked up from you. He canât seem to shake it off. Heâs tried at least, but Rin has been stopping to look at everything nowadays. The sun, the trees, the cars passing. Everything passes right by his life, slowly.Â
Eventually, eventually this whole thing will cease. Youâll never see Rin again and heâll never see you - and youâll part your separate ways. Thinking about that feels so stifling. But he figures since thatâs the case, thereâs probably not any harm in letting the time pass like this. As long as heâs still improving.Â
Your voice doesnât catch him off-guard anymore, no matter how loud it is after a long bout of silence. You stuff something into your mouth, a tomato he thinks.Â
âRin-kun,â You start, tilting your head to one-side âAre you doing anything for your birthday?âÂ
âNo.â He answers immediately because he never does. He hasnât done much since Sae left home and now that heâs a third year and about to be 18, thereâs even less of a desire to pull together a party and celebrate.Â
âWhat? Boo. Thatâs so lame.âÂ
âDonât be so childish.âÂ
âIâm older than you, you dummy,â You say with such automation that Rin doesnât even get the chance to process âYouâre not even gonna have cake? Nothing?âÂ
âMy mom might but I donât have any plans.âÂ
âYour mom is so nice.âÂ
âStop.âÂ
You frown at him but donât say any more. You look like you have something on your mind. Probably something stupid, but Rin canât help but wonder whatâs making your brow crease so intensely.Â
âWhat?â He snips. You flick your eyes to him and shake your head.Â
âI just think itâs a waste,â You say simply, that tone of fondness seeping into it that Rin canât get used to. âItâs such a big number, you know? A little cake and some show tunes or something would suffice.âÂ
Rin scoffs.Â
âI donât care about it. Itâs pointless to me. Lukewarmâ He says, before noticing your genuine sadness. He sighs a little to himself âStop looking like a depressed mutt.âÂ
âIâm not a dog.âÂ
âI guess dogs are more well-trained.âÂ
âHey. Hey, what the hell do you mean by that?âÂ
He ignores you.Â
âAnyway, stop worrying about it.â
You pout.Â
âEasier said than done.â.Â
__Â
Rinâs morning routine has been the exact same for two years.Â
He starts by opening the window, to let fresh air and sunlight come in through the glass. He feels like his room gets stale overnight and it wakes him up to taste the sun in the back of his mouth. He takes a deep breath of it, clearing out his lungs and blinking his eyes open.Â
After that he stretches. He unfurls a Bluelock brand yoga mat onto his carpeted floor and gets to his usual cycle. Itâs integral for an athlete to keep their muscles stretched, functioning like a well-oiled machine. He has it down pat. He starts from the bottom up, stretching his legs and working up to his arms and shoulders. His legs always come first since heâs a striker, always focusing on the mobility of his calves and foot before he stretches out his thigh.
His core, then his chest and arms. When heâs done with all that - he practices yoga for fifteen minutes. Again with mobility but this time full body, like making sure each of his limbs work with each other without any stops. Heâll sit back down after those minutes are up to meditate for another fifteen - clear his mind of absolutely anything stuck in it. Itâs the most peace he gets on any given day.Â
At the end, he sits with his feelings. Carefully, he undoes the wrapped clothed box around his heart and stares at it as it sits in his lap. Beating and raw and melancholy blue - so full of sadness and anger like it could burst at any minute. Revisiting his sadness and rage is a necessity. Sometimes it feels like only sadness. Only monochrome.Â
(He wonders if a day will come where that part of his routine is changed. If ever, heâll unwrap his own heart only to see it pink or golden yellow or even a softer shade of red. He wonders if the colors ever change, or if time will fade them.)Â
All of this happens before he even brushes his teeth. The rest of his morning routine is keeping his room neat. He folds the comforter on his bed, puts any dirty clothes away, and gets dressed. He doesnât really style his hair - itâs so pin straight after washing he normally just has to brush it to keep it nice.Â
After that he has breakfast, and checks through his bag. On days he has school he goes to school and comes back to practice. If heâs home alone - he picks one of many other things to do. He tends to practice closer to evening, taking a shower before he goes to sleep.Â
On the morning of Rinâs 18th birthday, heâs only really acutely aware of the date. His morning starts the exact same as it has everyday for nearly two years. Nothing to make him feel particularly different. When he looks in the mirror, he still sees his brother's face and when he looks at his heart itâs still a steely, melancholy blue.Â
When he comes down stairs, though - thereâs a pair of shoes he doesnât recognize. And thereâs a humming traveling down the hall and always the way up towards him that he knows quite well.Â
He thinks, for a minute, he might still be dreaming. Why you would be in his house on a Saturday morning makes absolutely no sense otherwise.Â
He slips his feet into his gray slippers and treks into the living room, only to find you in view of the open kitchen. Thereâs a balloon attached to flowers and a spread of fruits on the table. Orange juice in a cold glass. You with his moms borrowed apron, humming contentedly as you bend over the stove.Â
Rin doesnât know what the feeling is. He doesnât know if heâs irritated or not. Just that itâs so overwhelming to see you in his kitchen, marching to the beat of your own drum like you always do.Â
âWhat the hell are you doing in my house?âÂ
You startle when you hear his voice, whipping around to face him. Dramatically putting a hand on your chest - you shoot him an unfriendly glare.Â
âWell hello to you too.âÂ
âAnswer my question.â He demands. You click your teeth.Â
âWell, obviously Iâm making breakfast. Weâre celebrating your birthday.âÂ
âWithout telling me.âÂ
You snap your fingers before giving him finger guns âPrecisely. Genius deduction, Itoshi-sama.âÂ
âWhat the fuck. Where are my parents.âÂ
âTheyâre out on a day-trip! Itâs a Saturday. Theyâll be back here on Sunday afternoon. Read the note.âÂ
âWhat were you gonna do if I had last minute plans?âÂ
âYou donât though?â You say like knowing that is so obvious. He knows you asked but still âI guess Iâd turn around and make my own breakfast. Give you your gift at school or something.âÂ
âWhy are you here?â He asks a little softer this time. With a little more emotion, just a touch. He never expects anyone to make a fuss about his birthday.Â
Rin doesnât really ask for much. Certainly wouldnât ask for this on his own accord. Thatâs a vain thing to do, right?Â
It occurs to Rin that this is the kind of birthday you do for someone you like. Someone you love. Youâre always confessing your feelings to him. You only say it when youâre sure. It wasnât like Rin didnât know you had feelings for him, because the point of it all had been for you to try and get rid of them. Or honor them, or deal with them in whatever way you saw fit. Rin had agreed on a whim to help you with that. Your friendship had started with the very notion that you liked Itoshi Rin and he didnât like you back. Itâs not some secret.Â
When the light pours in through the windows and hits your back and for the first time - Rin understands what the fuss is about being in love is. Heâs sure that this strange, grotesque warmth is the aftermath of being liked. He always thought itâd feel more simple. That heâd remain unmoved in the face of it because he was different.
Itâs not like heâs unloved. Heâs sure his parents love him. His brother did too. Still does, Rin thinks.Â
But itâs the first time someone has made their feelings so clear to him. Someone who isnât supposed to love or like him. And even Rin, chronically apathetic, canât bring himself to ignore the weight of knowing that. He stares at you, dumbstruck.Â
Youâre still turned to him. Thereâs a cool tumbler of iced-coffee sitting on the counter that you sip, head tilted to one side.Â
âWell, I donât know,â You start, a hand on your hip âIt just felt like too much of a waste to do nothing on your birthday. But youâre not the kind of guy who likes big celebrations. So I thought maybe just hanging out would be more your speed.â
Rin swallows. âSeriously?âÂ
âSeriously.â
âBold thing to assume.âÂ
You frown back.Â
âWell, I was gonna invite Isagi-kunââ
âIsagi? How do you know Isagi?â
âHe saw me leaving your house âcause he was gonna visit. After we talked he followed me on Instagram. Anyway, I was gonna invite him and Bachira and all four of us could go to a movie,â You explain as you sigh and go back to the stove âBut he said youâd probably just want to hang out with me.âÂ
ââŚAnd he didnât say anything else?â
âWell he asked if we were dating so I just told him the truth. Really nice guy, by the way.âÂ
Rinâs going to hound Isagi next time they practice together.Â
âSo. Now youâre here⌠doing what exactly?â
âMaking you breakfast. Iâll make you ochazuke for lunch later. Havenât decided on dinner, I thought Iâd ask when you woke up. Your mom said you liked traditional breakfast but I didnât think Iâd be done by the time you woke up so thereâs fruit.âÂ
Sure enough, when Rin walks over to the other side of the table - thereâs a half done spread of breakfast on the table. All the dining ware is set up neatly, the table arranged so well he feels guilty for not helping.Â
âYou didnât have to do all this for me.â Rin tsks, a frown on his expression as he stands next to you. He watches you pour egg into a square pan, slowly evening out the layers.Â
âI wanted to,â You reply, not thinking twice about it. âI enjoy cooking for people. Itâs fun. I normally just do it to feed myself, so itâs nice to share.âÂ
He closes his eyes.Â
âThanks.âÂ
Heâs afraid to look over at you, the excitement radiating off of you. It makes him uncomfortable that something so simple could make you so happy.Â
âCan you repeat that?âÂ
âDonât start.âÂ
âRin-chan,â You coo, immediately making him so embarrassed he wants to hit you âYouâre so docile today.âÂ
âIâm gonna kill you.â He says, hitting your shoulder as light as he can.Â
âWoahâŚhow romantic. Dying on the day you were born? Jeez. Iâm swooning.âÂ
He looks at you blankly.Â
âStop being gross. Where did you even get that from?âÂ
âToo many things to count,â You say with a snap. He shakes his head.Â
âIs there anything I can help with?âÂ
âHow diligent. Itâs fine! Itâs your birthday, right? Sit. Eat some fruit. Pick out what you wanna do. I rented some games and thereâs some movies I had in mind too. Make your agenda. â
Rin laughs to himself, lightly.Â
âIsnât that supposed to be your job?âÂ
âDonât be stingy! Iâm already making breakfast.â
Rin rolls his eyes.
âYeah. Whatever.âÂ
__
You end up back in Rinâs room.Â
After a healthy discussion about what he would like to do - Rin landed on wanting to do both. He picked out a copy of Resident Evil to play until after lunch and then decided to binge a bunch of movies after.Â
You even agree to accompany him while he practices. Thereâs 24 hours in a day and the plans are nothing more than vague suggestions - but deep down, it makes Rin kind ofâŚwell whatever. Itâs not a bad plan.Â
Currently, youâre sitting at the foot of Rinâs bed with your hands tight around the controller of his PS4. Rin feels a little bad for you. While you do okay with horror movies, the immersion of horror games seems to frighten you enough that your eyes are glued onto the screen. As such, Rin is trying his best not to startle you as you lean forward every so slightly. The leg of your pants is pushed up just barely. Youâre dressed cozy, so itâs funny seeing your head shrink into your hoodie.Â
âWhy the fuck would you set it hardcore if this BOTH of our first times playing,â You whine, turning yourself into the next room carefully on screen âIâm scared.âÂ
âYouâre such a wuss,â He scoffs, leaning back from where heâs sitting next to you on his bed. âWeâre never gonna make any progress like this.âÂ
You stomp your feet and Rin resists the urge to laugh.Â
âShut up, itâs scary.âÂ
He nudges your shoulder with his knee.Â
âStop complaining. You got to pick the character and I got to pick the difficulty.âÂ
âI deserve to lust after Leon after the shit Iâm getting put through,â
Rin scoffs at your declaration. The irritation is softened when you walk into the backroom faced with a zombie - a short scream leaving your lips as you mash buttons and use your gun to kill it quickly. You manage to dodge as much damage as you can, obviously trying not to waste limited resources. Even so it takes damn near 7 bullets. Despite your cowardice, youâre pretty good at the game.Â
You loot the room for any possible supplies then leave. You turn the corner of the isle, a zombie filled gas station awaiting you. You manage to save bullets and stun the one closest to you before getting your shit completely rocked - quick to duck out. The first cut scene of the game comes next where you meet the other main character Claire. You gasp like youâve been running, shoving the controller towards Rin.Â
âYour turn. Move, I wanna sit on your bed.âÂ
âWhy?âÂ
âCause itâs a weekend and I have a right to be lazy. Shoo. On the floor.âÂ
âYouâre getting way too comfortable in my house on my birthday.âÂ
Rin, does, go sit on the floor where you were. Mostly because itâs a better position to play the game in. At least it has minimal back support. The cut scene plays in the background, nothing difficult as the main characters go to the next area - the police station and the technical start of the game. Rin hasnât played the remake, but he did longingly watch some playthroughs while he was in Bluelock during its release.Â
He had never mentioned it to you, so he was shocked you knew enough about it to bring it over. He likes survival horror and he was always wanting to play it.Â
âMe and your mom are best friends so I practically live here anyways. Also shut-up and look.âÂ
He does shut up, too invested in the story to be annoyed. The main characters get separated and Leon ends up in the streets.Â
For whatever reason, heâs conscious about proximity. Your knee next to his shoulder. Youâre close enough to touch him casually and heâs wonderingâŚhoping to know if youâre naive enough to do it without thinking. It feels like a stroke of luck, or maybe a form of mind-reading when you reach for his hair with your fingers. He wonders if youâre doing it on purpose. He thinks he should tell you to stop.Â
But when you ask âIs this okay?âÂ
He canât find the strength in himself to do it. He focuses on the scene in front of him, weaving through the cars to shake off a horde of zombies. Rin grabs the controls, immediately turning around to try and stun a group of zombies before turning into the gate so he can head to the station.
His heart is racing and his eyes almost feel cross from how much heâs focusing but itâs not exactly the game. The game isnât even that scary, as much as itâs gory he thinks.Â
âI donât care but,â He says through a breath, trying to sound like he means it and that heâs not so conscious of the way your pinky lingers on his nape âwhenâd you get so touchy?âÂ
âI like touching you.â You reply, twirling a strand of hair around your fingers âYour hair is so silky and nice. I felt when I gave you a hug that one time and I kept thinking about it.âÂ
Rin wants to say âDo you think about me that much?â but the words donât come out how he wants.Â
âDo you touch everyone like this?âÂ
Youâre silent for a minute. It takes patience, effort - not to turn his head to see the look on your face. Though he probably knows it. He thinks he just wants affirmation from you.Â
â...No. Not really. I just like you.âÂ
Thereâs a beat of silence - a pause designated for his rejection, the promise he made to you so many months ago. He knows what the script is. And heâs said it many times before. Not in a million years, right?Â
But he canât bring himself to say it this time, so he doesnât.
âYeah. I know.âÂ
___
Before Rin knows it, the day is coming to a close.Â
The entirety of it you spend together, with you faithfully stuck to him and without Rin feeling entirely suffocated. He isnât sure why itâs so easy with you. Normally this much socialization would render him exhausted. Irritable at best and angry at worst. But heâs not. In fact even after his entire workout routine, he felt fine listening to you ramble. He didnât need complete silence, but even when there were lulls and dips - it didnât feel uncomfortable.Â
You didnât get far in Resident Evil 2. Rin decides to cut it short since itâd definitely take a lot longer than all the time you had and there were movies he wanted to watch. When you whine about not being able to finish - he quietly told you to just come over next time and play it with him then.Â
He waited a year, so he can wait a little longer. Your face lit up idiotically, giddy with delight at the promise of next time. As promised, ochazuke was for lunch and after 30 minutes of digestion - he put it out of his mind as he did his daily drills. You joined him, insisting that youâd be fine doing nothing. Sat on the field with a book the entire time even though it was cold, tossing him his things whenever he took a break - smiling each time he talked to you.Â
(âYou know you donât actually need to stay with me the entire day.â He reminds you of this as he brings a bottle of water to lips, sweat dripping down the side of his head even in the cool weather. You turn your head up at him.Â
âWhen else am I gonna get to stick by your side all day? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.âÂ
âYouâre so good at being annoying itâs impressive,â He says, dropping his water bottle back down âArenât you bored?âÂ
âHuh? No way. I have my fun book to keep me company and on top of that I get to see you play in the flesh.âÂ
Oh, yeah. You mentioned watching him when he was in Bluelock. âWell, itâs not like a match. But Iâm not gonna keep asking, so whatever.âÂ
âYes, yes - I understand. Now go, shoo.â)
Even though Rin practiced for his usually long amount of hours, you sat with him diligently - even stopping to cheer him on when you needed a break from reading or studying or whatever else you were doing.Â
Upon returning, he went to shower and you went to warm up in the kitchen. After he was redressed and clean, he joined you downstairs to order take-out and have dinner.Â
Finally, itâs after dinner and youâve banished Rin to his room while you set something up downstairs. Heâs mostly scrolling twitter, watching soccer highlights from the accounts he follows. Heâs just about comfortable when you finally call him back down, which irritates him enough to click his teeth but not enough to bring it up to you.Â
After a long day, when Rin finally comes back down stairs, walking down into the hall and back into the living room - he canât help but be surprised at the change in scenery. All the lights have been turned low, and everything looks different. Youâve taken to decorating a wall of his living room after some rearranging. A white sheet hanging up with something, and a plethora of fairy lights in stripes going down it in a nice pattern.Â
Thereâs a banner and it looks hand-made. It spells out happy birthday, rin in neat, thick blue letters on cut-out white shapes, attached along the back wall. On the table in front, thereâs some decoration along with nice paper plates and plastic cutlery and a cake in the middle thatâs nicer than heâs expecting.Â
You beam at him as he walks in. And youâre stupid enough to be wearing a birthday hat, giving him jazz hands as he enters.Â
âHappy birthday!âÂ
On paper, Rin thinks itâs been something of a boring birthday. He did what he normally would do on a day off but you cooked for him twice. He spent most of it with you, even though it was a lot of nothing. A lot of being together like you were roommates or something. Maybe that's why heâs so reluctant to admit that this is making him feel something.Â
That the silly theatrics feel meaningful. It is thoughtful, isnât it? Rin doesnât think anyone in his entire life has done anything this thoughtful for him. Birthdays are birthdays, and theyâve never really been especially meaningful. He didnât see the point in just celebrating the day of someone's birth. Certainly, he doesnât think heâd have it in himself to do something like this for another person.Â
Rin stares at you. Wearing a stupid birthday hat and the most gleeful, idiotic smile heâs ever seen. All of this for a guy whoâs rejected you, but you seem to cherish so much anyways. Apathetic and ungraceful as he is and always will be - heâs so overwhelmed he doesnât know what to do. What a strange, unrecognizable feeling welling up inside of him. And not even one feeling, but so many so tangled with each other - he canât see anything straight. His eyes arenât drawn to the candlelight, or the moon, or the cake.Â
Itâs like a sense of tunnel vision. Where all Rin can really look at is you. Itâs happened before. How can anyone be like this, he wonders. Are there people born into the world so unselfishly? And if they are, why would he ever cross paths with them? How could someone so easy to love have any business loving him, in the first place?Â
Rin wonât ever understand you. He accepts that. Heâll never be able to understand this kind of person. Someone who shines even brighter than the sun.Â
But heâs not so stupid to not understand himself. Heâs unable to say the words heâd promised to you all the way in April. Rin doesnât like to lie.Â
He would be lying, that is, if you told him just one more time that you liked him. Heâd be lying if it told you itâll never happen. Heâd be lying if he said he doesnât like you. And itâs not just because you like him, because that never mattered to him in the first place.Â
Some people are made to be adored. Born special and bright like everything should revolve around them. Perhaps that kind of thing is only afforded to people without ego. With heart and character and charisma.Â
It doesnât matter. What a stupid thing to realize on his birthday of all days.
âRin-kun?âÂ
He blinks.Â
âWhereâd you hide all of this?âÂ
You laugh at him, bubbly and delighted.
âI brought it in a tote and kept it in the kitchen. Mostly stuff from my house, and your mom helped with the cake and stuff. Itâs nice right? I did a good job, no?âÂ
Ah. Heâs fucked.Â
âIt looks okay.âÂ
You frown, huffing and puffing âJust okay? Câmon, donât be stingy.âÂ
âDoesnât begging for compliments defeat the purpose of them.âÂ
âNot to me,âÂ
Your frown deepens and Rin is starting to feel the rose colored glasses set in.Â
âItâs nice. Itâs good.âÂ
âSo you like it? Youâre happy? Delighted, even? Absolutely overjoyed by-âÂ
âCut it out or Iâm going to send you home.âÂ
âNo,â You whine, tugging on his sleeves like youâre worried he really will âI want cake.âÂ
âThen letâs cut the cake?â
âWe canât,â You put your arms up in a cross and Rin gives you a look of confusion. âI promised Iâd get a good picture of you.âÂ
âWhat? Promised who?âÂ
âYour parents, mostly. But also, you should post on your Instagram a little more, no? Youâre basically a famous player already, you should have the courtesy to feed your fans.âÂ
Before he can do anything to protest, you usher Rin to sit on the other side of the table before you back with his phone. He stares at you but you only look at him expectantly. Still, he unlocks it and hands it to you. He gives you an irritated sigh (though he isnât really irritated).Â
âThis is stupid.âÂ
âItâs a good thing to capture memories, you dummy. Now smile,â You say, holding up the camera after some angling âOr donât. The people do love a good scowl.âÂ
That makes him want to smile. Heâs awkward in the photos but he does stay still for them, trying his best not to look ridiculous. You take a few, then pause to come up to the table and light the candles in front of him. He hears the camera shutter one more time before you look up at him over the edge.Â
âReady to blow out your candles?âÂ
âI guess.âÂ
Before Rin can do anything about it, he listens to you sing happy birthday - poorly with too much enthusiasm. Youâre tone deaf and passionate all at the same time - singing each word with a dramatic flair until youâre on the final word. You canât clap because youâre recording but you do cheer as he burns the candles out. Once itâs over you stop recording, looking down and swiping through the pictures.Â
âThey turned out good. You should post them.âÂ
â...Youâre done taking them?âÂ
You tilt your head to one side.Â
âYeah?âÂ
âWe didnât get any together.âÂ
Your eyes widen like he said something shocking.Â
â...You wanna take them together?âÂ
He scoffs.Â
âWe spent the whole day together.âÂ
You flush, suddenly embarrassed and god.Â
âI just wasnât expecting you to want that. I mean weâre friends but-âÂ
âShut up. And come here.âÂ
So you do, phone still in hand as you mess with your appearance.
âDo you want to take it or do you want me to?âÂ
âOh, uh lemme just-â You go through a bunch of filters and find one before handing it to him, a nervous expression âYou take it cause your arm is longer and youâre taller.âÂ
Rin just nods. Takes the phone from you, and lets you pose a little before he takes the photo. He hands it back to you so you can see, and watches your eyes light up as you stare at it. Stupid.Â
âIt came out nice.â You say. You save it onto his phone before handing it back to him. âSend it to me later?âÂ
âYeah.âÂ
You give him another grin and Rin takes his phone from you, going through the pictures as he opens up Instagram. He guess it wouldnât hurt to post. You leave his side, saying something about cutting the cake. But he isnât looking, really.Â
He drafts a post as he waits for you. He likes the picture you took together best and decides to put it second. He never has any idea on how to caption these which is why he doesnât want to post it in the first place. He glances at you, then sighs internally.Â
itoshirin._ posted for the first time in a while. posted 7 mins ago. liked by isagi_yoichi, bachiraaaaa, and others. itoshirin._ ; 09.09.2002. thanks for everything, stupid. isagi_yoichi commented: no way youâre getting a girlfriend before me. life is so unfair and cruel. isagi_yoichi commented: oh happy birthday btw bachiraaaaa commented: RIN-CHAN !!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ŮŠ(ââżâ・)Űś official_itoshisae: happy birthday. itoshirinsnumberonefan: WHO IS THAT?? yo_hiori: happy birthday!Â
âRin, I cut the cake!âÂ
He puts his phone on DND before taking a plate of cake from your hand.Â
__
The clock strikes two, and youâre still at Rinâs place.Â
After a long binge of horror movies, youâre both comfortably in each other's space - only inches away, talking about nothing. The movie ended a little over half an hour ago.
Heâs still doing just that, listening to you chatter away next to his ear. The room is completely dark minus the soft glow of the T.V. which gives just enough light for Rin to gaze at your face. Your eyes are wide and sparkly, still, even though it seems like the tiredness is getting to you too.Â
Neither of you wants to stop talking. Youâve started discussing manga - particularly Rin's favorite manga.Â
âCiguatera was interesting,â You say, hugging one of his pillows close to your chest. âI wasnât sure what to expect.âÂ
âIâm shocked you read it. Seriously. I thought you wouldâve forgotten the minute after I told you.âÂ
âWell, yeah. You recommended it, so obviously I wanted to at least try,â You say with a breathless laugh, turning over to face him. Youâre facing each other, he realizes a second too late âYouâre such a boy, by the way. Weekly young magazine? Really.âÂ
âShut up.â He says, with no real bite to his words âWhat were you expecting?âÂ
âDunno. Didnât think you were interested in romance of all things. Especially cause Oginoâs kind of a loser.âÂ
âThere was other stuff in it.â He points out. You chuckle.Â
âYeah. Way raunchier and darker than I thought. But it was mostly about romance. So, I was surprised to say the last.âÂ
âWhat,â Rin starts, partially offended by the implication âDo you think I'm a soulless machine or something?âÂ
âWell no,â You frown, shaking your head as you stare at him âBut youâve rejected every confession youâve ever gotten, even from some of the prettiest girls in our entire grade. So I didnât think you had any interest in that kinda thing.â
He scoffs.âYouâre stupid.âÂ
âYou tell me all the time,â You point your fingers and place them under your chin. âWhy did you reject them, by the way? Just trying to focus on soccer?âÂ
He feels flush, explaining. Turning his gaze to the ceiling, he sighs.Â
âNone of those people actually had feelings for me. It wasnât meaningful in any way.âÂ
âAnd you want it to be meaningful?âÂ
âThereâs no point being in a relationship with someone I donât like and barely know. And who doesnât really care to get to know me. Iâm busy enough with soccer, and I donât have time to entertain lukewarm relationships like that.âÂ
âWhat an unexpectedly sentimental reason. How soft of you Rin-kun.âÂ
âShut up.âÂ
Thereâs a pause of thoughtful silence where you hum and lay flat on your back, reaching your hand up towards the ceilings. Rin canât do much more than look.Â
âYou know. How I said Iâve been watching you since you were in Bluelock?âÂ
âYeah.âÂ
âYâknow. I always thought you looked really sad back then. I mightâve been reading too much into it but,â You smile, corners of your lips upturned while you giggle âItâs likeâŚweirdly relieving to see you like this.âÂ
âLike what?âÂ
âYouâre likeâŚjust a boy,â You say wispy and delighted âA normal boy who reads shitty raunchy magazines and thinks about love. Itâs comforting somehow. Makes me feel special. I really like you. A little more every day, it feels like.âÂ
Another beat of silence. He thinks you can sense the hesitance of his rejection. Thereâs such a tangible shift in the atmosphere. If Rin stretches his hand out to touch it, he thinks heâd push through an impossible barrier and keep falling in it forever. He thinks it would swallow him.Â
He isnât sure what it is. If itâs an act of bravery, or a sudden uptick in adrenaline, or if the exhaustion of a long day is finally starting to hit. Maybe itâs just these feelings that keep overwhelming him that make his body move. Something outside of his mind, nestled in his ribs, that has him inching closer to you.Â
He flips until heâs hovering over you. Your eyes widen and you stare at him. He stares back, like he almost canât believe himself.Â
âRin-kun?âÂ
And he freezes. The confidence dissipates as soon as he finds it but now heâs above you, on top of you. Youâre messy and flush from the day. Your mascara is smudged and your lipgloss is gone - leaving a faint sheen on your mouth that matches your skin. Your hoodie is rumpled around the shoulders - one of the sleeves pulled to your elbows. Rin really gets a look at you. Cognizant of the fact he spent all day with you. Thatâs why you look worn and sleepy and so unbelievably cute. So cute it annoys him. Irritates him half to death.Â
You open your mouth again, only to close it. It almost feels like he can hear your heart. Or maybe itâs his. Itâs hard to know the difference.Â
âIs this a n-new kind of bullying?â You joke, trying to ease the tension. He frowns at you.Â
âDoes it seem like Iâm joking?âÂ
Your eyes widen and you turn away. Rin wants to make you look.Â
âWell no butâŚâ And you squirm a little âwhat are you doing?â
He doesnât know, either.Â
âI donât know.â He admits, and you laugh a little breathless and the tension is so thick Rin canât swallow around it âI want to kiss you.â He blurts out. Awkward and uncharismatic and clumsy.Â
A bout of silence.
â...Am I going insane? Did you just say you want to kiss me?â
âI did.âÂ
More silence.Â
âWhy? Wouldnât that make me your first kiss?âÂ
âIt would.âÂ
âAnd isnât that like⌠reserved for your special someone?âÂ
âIt is.âÂ
âRin-kun,â You breathe out, blinking in disbelief âDo you even know what youâre saying?âÂ
âI do.â
Youâre a little more serious this time. You put your hand on his shoulder. He feels like the Earth is gonna fall from under his feet.Â
âStop messing with me.âÂ
âIâm not.âÂ
You frown.Â
âDo you really want to kiss me?âÂ
âYeah,â He canât think âI do.âÂ
You reach up for him. Youâre more experienced with this kind of thing and it shows as you cup the nape of his neck. He doesnât finch. He doesnât look away from you either, as your thumb brushes under his eyes - the both of you so wrapped up in each other nothing matters. Rin would stay in this forever, if someone gave him the option.
âW-we have to talk about this afterwards, okay?â
âOkay.âÂ
âIâm serious, Itoshi Rin. Because you canât justââÂ
Your palm cups his cheek and he rubs against it instinctively. He sees your eyes widen and you swallow - a frown still etched into your features.Â
âI know. Iâm sorry.âÂ
Your voice goes as soft as a whisper.Â
âYouâre so unfair.âÂ
He almost laughs.Â
âPlease kiss me.â He asks, so silently it almost goes unheard but he knows you hear it because your lips press into a thin line before youâre pulling Rin down towards you. Your lips are soft. And warm. And they taste faintly like whip-cream and the slight sour of strawberries and your hands are so gentle. Somehow he feels at ease even though he feels like heâs going to implode on himself from nerves.Â
Just a little deeper before you pull away and stare at him. Rin looks back, eyes jumping from your lips up to your eyes and back down to your lips. You open your mouth to say something. Mumbling his given name only for him to cut you off with another kiss, a little deeper this time. The way it shuts you up is so cute it almost makes him angry. How it muffles your words, tapers off into a noise of surprise and ends up just back at a kiss.Â
Heâs never felt like this kind of thing was a viable option. Itoshi Rin is an antisocial, angry, and apathetic soccer protege and he has no time in the world for anything lukewarm. Heâs rejected every confession heâs ever received in his life and always thought of relationships as something far off and disconnected to him in his entirety.
Perpetually unloveable but maybe not in such an angsty, vulnerable way. Like a law of the universe. A truth, like thinking of him, means to postulate that he is that way. A prerequisite to understanding him.Â
Rin doesnât like things that are half-ass. Perhaps, part of the reason he likes you so much is because youâve proved him wrong in such an utterly defeating way. The fact your very existence is by and large, the antithesis of this truth.Â
Itoshi Rin is not only loveable, but he is capable of loving. There is evidence of it, right underneath him now - with soft lashes and wet eyes and the brightest smile that could ever exist.Â
And itâs haunting for more reasons than one. But he likes how unyielding the revelation is. Youâre worried heâll want to avoid it, and he does. But he doesnât think he could forever, even if he tried.Â
Heâs confident if he made the attempt, youâd come barreling towards him once more. With all the confidence in the world. It makes him want to at least try to face it.
Which is why heâs kissing you a second, third, and fourth time. Which is why heâs looking at you in between, wide blue eyes transfixed on every part of your face. Heâs trying to face what daunts him most, not like but love and the difference is more important as the days pass.Â
You pull away, finally - put a hand on his chest and stare.Â
âRin-kun,â You whisper, uncertain of yourself which he hates. âI like you. I really like you.â And again, a little softer âAnd I want you to like me too,â Like that had been the biggest secret of all. Something youâd never told anyone, even once.Â
Rin canât imagine it. Have you been holding in something like this all this time? He only realized a couple hours ago and it already feels like heâs going to rip apart at the seams.Â
âI do. I do like you.â
âReally? Forreal? Seriously? Youâre not pulling my leg? Yanking my chain?âÂ
He knocks his forehead against yours.Â
âBe quiet. How can you be this stupid in the middle of getting confessed to?âÂ
You pout. Pout at him, all whiny. God.Â
âIt doesnât feel real to me.âÂ
He laughs humorlessly. âItâs all a dream. Youâll forget it all in the morning.âÂ
âStop being mean to me.âÂ
He has to be. If heâs not youâre going to see right through him.Â
âNo,â He says instead âStop being so ridiculous first.âÂ
âAn impossible ask to the world's most ridiculous girl.âÂ
He smiles a little.Â
âThatâs a good name for you. Iâll change your contact.âÂ
âNooo,â You say again, this time pulling him down for a hug. His eyes widened. And heâs unfair? âBe nice to your girlfriend.âÂ
He doesnât have anything to say to that. It flusters him too, admittedly. Before he can think of a counter, you yawn big and wide. Rin is still on top of you and neither of you have brushed your teeth. He was planning on putting you up in the guest room, but currently youâre clinging to him half-away. And he has no such plans of telling you to move.Â
âIâm so tired.âÂ
Rin feels like heâs going to pass out, He mumbles.Â
âYou can sleep.âÂ
âWant you to sleep too.âÂ
Rin closes his eyes. He couldnât refuse even if he wanted to. Youâll have to talk about it in the morning.Â
âOkay.âÂ
__Â
âRin? Whereâs your frieâoh!âÂ
Rin stirs the minute his mom enters the room. It only takes him a minute to regain consciousness and by the time heâs awake - heâs already regretting not locking his door.Â
He continues to pretend to be asleep. He thinks you still are because youâre comfortably slotted in his arms. Rin is so embarrassed he wants to die. He hears his mom gasp, and then quietly shouts for his father to come to his room.Â
âWhat are youâoh.âÂ
Rin is going to have the worst morning of his life whenever they leave. He remains still. He hears the shutter of a camera and grits his teeth all the way in the back of his jaw.Â
âOh this will make a great wedding photo.âÂ
His dad laughs a little to himself, ushering his mother out of the room âDonât get carried away,âÂ
When the door finally clicks, Rin opens his eyes and lets out a breath of relief. Much to his shock, he also feels you stir. His eyes widen when you turn to him, your face painted in utter mortification before you bury it in your hands. He stares at you as you groan, kicking your feet.Â
âOh god Iâm going to cry. How am I going to face her? Oh my godâÂ
Rin scoffs a little at your dramatics. It calms him down in a strange way âSheâs not gonna say anything to you. Sheâs probably only going to bully me about it.âÂ
âIâve forsaken you, mother-in-lawâÂ
Rin nudges your ribs, blush crawling up his face.Â
âShut up.âÂ
__Â
Up until three weeks ago, Rin didnât take issue with the way you interacted at school.Â
You two have a pretty strict policy about it. Though youâre in the same class and you chat occasionally in the halls - you tend to avoid Rin where you can. Originally, this made sense. For the sake of his comfort and yours, the best choice was sneaking to the roof together to eat where you could remain mostly undisturbed.Â
As such, Rin has never been particularly consciousness of your presence in the classroom. For starters, youâre always somewhere. A busybody of the highest pedigree and always running errands - even if Rin were to try to talk to you he can only really find you 20 percent of the time. Secondly, unlike Rin, you have a handful of friends surrounding you. Rin has interacted with them very briefly but you (seemingly for his sake) try not to force him out of his comfort zone too much by making you all sit together. The most Rin has gotten from them is a single knowing smirk or glance.Â
And lastly, before three weeks ago, it wouldâve been a big problem if people started getting onto either of you about a relationship that didnât exist. That would've been all around awkward and uncomfortable and maybe wouldâve deterred your future endeavors with other guys.Â
That was when you and Itoshi Rin were in fact not dating.Â
Three weeks into your relationship and nothing much has changed, though nowadays you come over to his house on weekends where you can. Youâve even been on one date after his dad (of all people) hounded him about never taking you on a proper one.Â
You text the same as you did before, and you call Rin a little more often. Usually for the purposes of rambling so much you tucker yourself out and fall asleep.Â
But at school, Rin only really sees you for the spare minutes of lunch and not much more than that. Heâs never really thought about it before. It was never enough of an issue to warrant his intervention.Â
Itâs not like he cares, okay?Â
But heâs more aware of it, now - frustratingly enough. You really donât see each other often enough in school and you have many more guy friends than he had ever considered before. Every time he catches you and Murata-senpai trekking down the hall he feels his blood pressure rise.Â
You and Rin have both decided, though. Despite his posting of you, neither of you have confirmed the relationship. Rin is immune to the prying and youâre good at dodging it altogether. This is the agreement.Â
It is therefore very irrational of him to be thinking of speaking up at this current moment in time.Â
Despite your mutual decision to keep things as private as possible, Rin has heard nothing but gossip about the situation for weeks. Outside of the usual, direct kind of prying - thereâs whispers and stares and all sorts of other things. Rin doesnât care about it. Heâs used to it, itâs part of the gig and the neo-egoist league made him near immune.Â
Itâs all the things directed at you that make him seethe. Misplaced jealousy and the disappointed remarks of guys in class that make him feel like his blood pressure is rising. The latter is whatâs making him most irritated now. How fucking long are these idiots going to talk about this?Â
âDude, you had like three years to confess,â Some idiot, whoâs name Rin doesnât know is still yapping âIf sheâs actually dating Mr.Popular then itâs on you for fucking yourself over.âÂ
The other idiot in question groans, and Rin forces his face to remain impassive as he listens. He tries to stop listening. More than once, actually. But they just keep going.Â
âI didnât think heâd actually do it dude. Like thereâs no way, right? He rejected every single girl who ever confessed to him. I thought she was safe. And now my highschool love is forever ruined.âÂ
Like he ever stood a chance. How ridiculous.Â
Another one of the goons speaks up âDunno. Neither of them have said anything right? You miss all of the shots you donât take.âÂ
âAre you saying I should just confess to her anyway? She got posted on his Instagram dude.âÂ
A smirk appears on Extra Threeâs face âNo confirmation means fair game. Stop being pussy and do it.âÂ
âYou think I stand a chance against that dude?âÂ
Rin can feel all three pairs' eyes hit him at once.Â
âNah. Not a chance. But you could always wait till sheâs all heartbroken and comfort her, right? Hook, line, and sinker.âÂ
âI hear when girls are heartbroken theyâre like way more likely to let youââÂ
With that, Rin stands to his feet. Heâs seething. Itâs ridiculous. Itâs stupid. He should definitely just leave to go cool his head but heâs so fucking angry itâs hard to sit still and he has no other way of dealing with his feelings. So he walks towards the table slowly, eyes darkened and just barely holding it in
He knows this is a bad idea. He can feel the whole classroom look at him as he slams his hand down on the desk. But he doesnât care. Heâll deal with it later.Â
âYouâd be fucking lucky if my girlfriend ever looked your way.âÂ
As soon as Rin says it, there's a thud at the door-way of the classroom. When he looks up youâre there with your eyes widened. Rin just looks back, impassive and immune to the sudden uproar of whispers.Â
He only clicks his teeth when you grab him by the sleeve of his uniform - cracking a small smile as he hears the faint words âJust give up dude.â as he leaves.Â
__Â
Up on the roof top, youâre shaking Rin by the shoulders - visibly distressed.Â
âHey! What the hell was that?âÂ
âWhat.â He offers, not willing to budge on the situation. In the first place heâs a little irritated by all of it. And heâs a little irritated by how much youâve been enforcing the no-talking rule. Right now, it really feels like he canât take it anymore.Â
You frown deeply, distress only growing as the time passes in uncomfortable silence. Rin doesnât want to be civil about it. About it and about you and about those idiots.Â
âWe had an agreement!â You say, grabbing him by the front of his shirt, though itâs weak. He stares down at you.Â
âSo what?âÂ
âRin, we talked about this. Donât be like this.âÂ
âLike what.âÂ
âPissy and weird. Youâre being weird and I donât like it. Itâs making me sad.âÂ
âHow am I beingââÂ
Before Rin can proceed with his sentence, he catches a glimpse of your face in the midst of his tantrum. Sad like a puppy who got its tail stepped on and about ready to cry, he immediately seals his mouth in fear of making it worse.Â
âWhy are you doing that?â He spits.Â
âDoing what?â
âBeing all sad and pathetic. Does it really bother you that much if people know weâre dating?âÂ
âItâs not like that.â You assure.Â
âThen what is it?â Rin prods, frustrated but not wanting to make things worse âWhy is it such a big deal?âÂ
Thereâs a bout of silence before you sigh.Â
âRin, youâre a huge soccer player. The people youâre dating and stuff - itâs a big deal,��Â
Rin cuts you off.Â
âThatâs what you were worried about? My career?âÂ
âWell, yeah.âÂ
âYouâre stupid.âÂ
âHey! Iâm seriously worried about it and then you go andââÂ
He gives you a frown. He forgets all too often youâre like this. Heâs used to your silly and unserious way of talking, so it slips his mind that youâre actually a massively responsible person. You probably have a point about it, thinking of the consequences of your relationship through hell and back. With a detached sense of rationality - Rin can recognize that youâre probably thinking about more things than this. Otherwise it wouldnât be so touchy of a subject.Â
Nothingâs changed on paper, but everything will eventually. Itâs something to think about, admittedly.Â
Honestly Rin doesnât care what strangers think. Heâs blunt and unfriendly. Always has been, and will continue to be through the majority of his career heâs absolutely sure. Even outside of Bluelock, he has almost no regard for the opinions of other people and what concerns them. Maybe itâs irresponsible, but Rin isnât playing soccer for the approval of the populace and nothing will ever change that.Â
âIf I thought that was something I should worry about, we wouldnât be dating.âÂ
You look up at him.Â
âYou should be worried about it.â You emphasize.Â
âIâm not. I donât care what any of those people think.âÂ
âThen whyâd you go and say something?âÂ
Rin seethes.
âThey deserved it.âÂ
Your hand reaches for his cheek. He pauses and takes a deep breath, staring at you. He leans into your touch instinctively, frustration eased by the sensation. You stare back.Â
âOkay. Weâll announce it officially later, then.âÂ
âDo we even need to do that? If you tell three people, half of our gradeâll find out anyway.âÂ
âAre you saying my friends gossip?âÂ
He doesnât reply to that. You pout at him and Rin fights the urge to kiss you. Thereâs a beat of silence as you give him a hug - the two of you on the same roof you always are. Rin doesnât mind it, wrapping his arms loosely around your waist.Â
âYou know, itâs gonna get busy for me soon.â You mumble. So this is what else you were worrying about. âAnd for you. I have my entrance exam and the school is in Tokyo. And youâre gonna go back to Bluelock andââÂ
âItâll be fine.â
âIâm worried about it anyways.âÂ
âAbout what?âÂ
âIâll see you less. What if you stop liking me randomly and I canât even hunt you down about it?âÂ
Rin huffs âYouâre insane enough to find me,â He drops his chin on your shoulder âPlus you talk to my mom.âÂ
âYouâre gonna be so busy.âÂ
âIâll come see you when Iâm not.âÂ
âAnd youâre going to be surrounded by the human equivalent of siren women someday soon.âÂ
âI donât care about that.âÂ
âBut you might.âÂ
âI havenât in eighteen years, you moron.âÂ
âIâm gonna miss you all the time.â You say, sniffly and Rin is so struck with a feeling of affection he almost falls âI already miss you all the time.âÂ
He squeezes you a little tighter âItâll be fine.â
âFor you.âÂ
Rin furrows his brow, pulling back to stare at you.Â
âNot for me,â Because Rin can begrudgingly admit he will miss you worse than this âJust in general. Itâll be fine. You almost made it a year without me.âÂ
âBut now Iâm with you,â You reply easily, and softly and oh-so in love Rin wants to turn away âAnd Iâm so happy and I want it be like this for a long time,â
âJust a long time? Not something stupid like a blossoming eternity?âÂ
âI thought Iâd scare you.âÂ
âYou did that in April.â He points out flatly. You hit him lightly but smile anyway.Â
âItâs a problem how much I like you.âÂ
Rin likes you just as much. Youâre probably too much of an idiot to realize and wonât for a long while. He takes a little comfort in, strangely.
âItâll be fine. Iâll come see you.â He says again, because itâs the only thing he can think to say. He believes in it thoroughly. If Rin were a better, more candidly vulnerable person he thinks now heâd give the loving boyfriend speech. He almost wants to half-assedly try but canât bring himself to get past the awkwardness. He hugs you tighter because itâs all heâs capable of, and hopes he can will it into you. The sincerity of his words, he wants so badly for them to reach you âStop worrying so much.âÂ
âRin-kun,â You start, then pause to look up at him. His breath hitches âRin. I love you. Really.âÂ
He feels like heâs gonna be sick as he stares at you, eyes widened. You look the same as you always do. Unexpectant, terribly sincere, with your heart on your sleeve. The more Rin knows you, the more he thinks it canât be easy to be so vulnerable all the time.Â
So you do it for him, and only him. And Rin is always going to be intolerable. Frustrating and impatient. But he wants to do it for you too, where he can. Rin wants you to know itâll be fine because the fact that youâre standing here now is nothing short of a miracle. Nothing comes out right.Â
âYeah.â He says, but he canât get the rest of words out. And you laugh, and peek up at him through your lashes.Â
âAnd you love me too, donât you?âÂ
Rin grits his teeth. He wants to say no.Â
âI guess.âÂ
âAnd weâre going to be just fine.â You repeat, hugging him tight. Rin hugs you back. He wants to say thank you. He wants to kiss you stupid and make fun of you at the same time. He wants you so much and so often heâs sure heâs lost his fucking mind.Â
But he agrees with you, at least. He nods. He holds you. He doesnât like to lie, so he looks at you instead.Â
âYeah. Itâs gonna be fine.âÂ
__
EPILOGUE ;Â
In Rinâs defense, heâs not trying to listen in on the conversions of your underclassmen.Â
For starters, the club door is cracked up and Rin only has one airpod fully charged. Secondly, itâs not like theyâre being quiet. Rinâs pretty sure anyone with decent enough hearing could hear them from down the hall. Given that itâs the newspaper club, heâs sure that the conversation isnât usually this interesting.Â
Itâs just when he catches wind of your name while youâre nowhere to be found, he finds himself eavesdropping just a little. He leans back into the chair heâs sitting in, face tucked into his black mask and hat pulled neatly over his head.Â
âGuys, Iâve decided Iâm going to confess to Boss no matter what.âÂ
He must mean you. Rin often hears how some of the people in the club affectionately add danchou to the end of your name. Rin scoffs a little at the kids' confidence. It reminds him a little of highschool. Rin really think youâre at more of a risk than he is. Being a celebrity makes him naturally unattainable - more of a fixture than a person.Â
Everytime someone confesses to you though itâs sincere. From knowing you. And he gets it but it doesnât keep him from scoffing and turning his nose up.Â
âItâd be a good idea to give up while youâre ahead.â Says another unnamed voice.Â
âYeah Nakao-san. Do you even know who Senpai's boyfriend is?âÂ
âN-no. But it doesnât matter. Through the powerful of love Iâllââ
Before Rin gets a chance to listen anymore, he hears your voice call out for him. He snaps his head up to look at you. Youâre dressed so professionally itâs hard to recognize you like that. Your hair is cut neat and styled professionally and youâre dressed in business casual. Heâs relieved he brought shoes for you to change into.Â
You run up to him anyway, and Rin stands up to make sure you donât stumble as you throw your arms around his neck. Youâre closer in height with your heels on so he doesnât have to bend down much at all to kiss you. He pulls down his mask quickly.
âRin-tan, youâre here.â You say with a soft, breathless giggle âI missed youuu.âÂ
âMissed you too,â He says, an arm squeezed around your waist âI have shoes for you in the car,â
You gasp, rubbing your cheek against his affectionately.Â
âYouâre the best in the world. My feet are so sore.âÂ
âDid the interview go well?â Rin asks. You pull away, moving your hair away from your eyes before nodding.Â
âUh-huh. The women's rugby team captain is super chill and she interviews great so it went smoothly. I just need to drop the transcript off and then we can leave,â You say holding his hand. He squeezes your palms âDo you want to meet them? You donât have to but a lot of them ask about you.âÂ
Normally Rin would say no. But heâs feeling a little petty today, after all.Â
âSure.âÂ
You beam, your hand in his as you nudge the door open. The room goes silent, a bout of excited cheering following at your return. Heâs relieved to see youâre still so well loved, a little reluctant to let go of your hand.Â
âSenpai, youâre back.âÂ
âYup, yup. I have the transcript and recording on this USB. Watch it and draft the article up tonight. When I come in tomorrow, weâll go through editing and get it out by Monday.â You say, hand on hip before remembering his presence. You grab him and Rin follows âOh, and guys - this is my boyfriend! Rin Itoshi.âÂ
Most of them seem to know. Rin can sense the admiration but itâs respectful. He can tell that everyone is professionals in the field. Rin likes that. He bows politely.Â
âNice to meet everyone,âÂ
âNice to meet you too, Itoshi-san.âÂ
âDanchouâŚyouâre dating Rin ItoshiâŚthe famous soccer player Rin Itoshi?âÂ
You giggle, looping your arm in Rinâs. He laughs internally. Itâs the same kid who wanted to confess to you.Â
âUh-huh. Weâre highschool sweethearts! And today is our very special date night so donât contact me for any reason until tomorrow morning at least. Iâll see you guys later.âÂ
âBye, senpai.âÂ
âHave fun on your date.âÂ
With that, you turn the corner and leave the room - immediately beginning to ramble about your day. Rin half-listens. He only pays complete attention when he hears your kouhais talking from down the hall.Â
âTold you to give up, dude.âÂ
âRin. Are you paying attention?âÂ
He chuckles to himself.Â
âYeah. Sorry.âÂ

â a/n ; hello!! me again. first of alll, if you read through this whole fic, thank you so much. second of all i want to discuss a few things about this fic.
im usually pretty keen on localization for my fics where possible because i think it makes for a smoother reader experience - however the usage of honorifics was important to the atmosphere for this one so i'll hope it wasn't too awkward to read.
secondly, im nervous about rins characterization for this one so i hope it was alright. apologies for any errors its 5am and im soo tired.
this fic was mostly meant as an exploration of how i think rin would really benefit from being with someone eccentric and bubbly. the core of their relationship is that reader is an overall emotionally intelligent and honest person and how that has a huge influence on rin so i hope that growth came thru. once again thanks for reading and i hope u enjoyed. rbs and tags always appreciated!

#dying at how sweet and obv well written this is#THE SLOWBURN#the sweet sweet pining the realisation dawning so slowly on rinâŚâŚâŚ.#classic she fell first but he fell harder i LOVE TO SEE IT
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im thinking aboutttt satoru living to embarrass you after sex.
the room was quiet except for the sound of your heavy breathing as you sat on the edge of the bed, pulling the blanket up to cover your exposed body.
satoru leaned back lazily against the headboard, his shirt discarded somewhere on the floor, his sweat-slicked chest rising and falling as he caught his breath. white hair clung to his forehead in damp strands, and his lips curled into that smug grin that always made you want to throw a pillow at him.
âyouâre so annoying,â you muttered, your cheeks burning from the aftermath of the whirlwind heâd just put you through.
âme? annoying?â he tilted his head, acting innocent , though the glint in his eyes said otherwise. âyou werenât saying that when I was knuckles deep in ya, huh?â his voice was low and teasing, sending a shiver down your spine.
âsatoru!â you hissed, reaching for a pillow and chucking it at his head. he caught it easily, laughing as he tossed it aside like it was nothing. âdo you ever shut up?â
ânot when you make those sounds,â he continued, unphased, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as though recalling every detail. âgod, i canât get enough of that squelch noise.â he even emphasized it with a pop of his lips, which earned him a glare sharp enough to cut steel.
you threw another pillow, but this time, it hit his chest with a satisfying thud. âyour disgusting.â
âand you love it,â he quipped, his grin widening as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. âdonât act all shy now. you werenât exactly quiet about how good it felt.â
your jaw dropped, and you searched for something, anythingâto say that would shut him up. but of course, he always knew how to leave you flustered and speechless. he took pride in it.
âyouâre annoying,â you muttered, burying your face in your hands to hide the blush creeping up your neck.
satoru leaned closer, gently prying your hands away. âcâmon, donât hide that cute face from me.â his tone was softer now, though the mischief in his eyes hadnât faded completely. âyou know I live for this.â
âfor what? embarrassing me?â you shot back, though your voice lacked the venom you intended.
âfor making you feel good,â he replied, his voice dropping an octave as he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. âand for watching you try not to smile when I tease you.â
your lips twitched despite yourself, and he caught it instantly. âsee? there it is,â he said, leaning in to press a kiss to your flushed cheek.
âyouâre the worst,â you said, though it came out more like a defeated sigh than an actual insult.
âand yet, here you are.â he smirked, pulling you into his lap with ease, his arms wrapping around your waist. âadmit it! you love it when i talk dirty.â
you rolled your eyes, but the warmth spreading through your chest betrayed you. âi tolerate it,â you said, trying to sound indifferent.
âliar.â he nuzzled into your neck, his breath hot against your skin. âyouâre already blushing again.â
you groaned, shoving at his chest half-heartedly. âi hate you.â
âno, you donât,â he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear. âbut nice try.â
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tears in my eyes
đđđđ đđđ đ
đđđđđđđđđ!?
đđđđđđđ: geto suguru/reader
đđ: 11.9k
đđđđđđđ: friendships are hard, especially when the lines are so blurry you can't tell where the both of you stand. so what do you do when you catch feelings on top of all that ??
đđđđđđđđ: 18+ only, smut, angst (?), swearing, making out, annoying drunk stranger, fingering, dirty talk, marking, titty worship, p in v sex, clit slapping, creampie, geto fucks mean, geto is a TEASE, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, f!reader, she/her pronouns used, no use of y/n, i think that's all !!
Being friends with Geto Suguru isnât hard⌠in theory but in practice itâs one of the most difficult things youâve ever had to do. Itâs especially difficult because he does things for you that feel like theyâre pushing the boundaries of a normal friendship without actually doing anything weird.
Things like his insistence on bringing things for you when youâre feeling down, showing you extra care in how he talks to you, hanging out with you and having frequent movie nights, being attentive to your needs. While those things are innocuous in theory, itâs the way he treats you, talks to you and how it makes you feel that has your friendship feeling like itâs on a precarious ledge. Caught between pulling back or pushing over.
Sighing, your foot kicks at his sitting form, âDonât you have something better to do tonight?â
âLike what?â His eyebrow raises at you, eyeing your lazy form, spread out comfortably on your couch.
Youâd feel bad for taking up the whole couch if you werenât so comfortable, âI donât know, like a date? Hanging with friends? Going out on the town or whatever youths do.â
âFirstly, Iâm older than youââ
Interjecting to add, ââNot by much!â
He only rolls his eyes, ignoring your interruption all together, âTo your other points, Iâm not interested in dating right now, and I am hanging out with a friend.â
Sighing louder than last time, foot pushing him enough to sway him, âArenât you bored of me?â
âNo?â his brows pinching in confusion, âShould I be?â Hand grabbing your foot to stop it from kicking at him.
You pout, trying to pull yourself free of his grip, âI donât know.â
âDonât say stupid things,â he huffs, amused by your struggle. âI could ask you the same thing you know.â
âI like hanging out with you,â you grumble at him.
âYeah, well, I feel the same,â finally letting go of your foot.
Youâre feeling restless, heâs your friend, you know heâs your friend, and yet you canât help hoping that your friendship is just a little bit more special. You groan and kick at him with both your feet.
âWoah, hey!â Both his hands grab at your ankles, pinning them down into the couch, âWhatâs wrong with you tonight?â
âIâm annoyed.â
âIâve taken notice,â heâs trapping you with a pointed look, waiting for more of an explanation from you.
If you had an explanation, youâd give it to him but as of right now, you arenât even sure if youâre aware of what youâre feeling enough to verbalise it to him. You deflate, looking back at him sheepishly, âI know you want to know whatâs wrong, but I donât know.â
âYou donât know? Or you donât want me to know?â
Pushing yourself up, you cock your head at him, âThe result is the same despite my answer, no?â
âNo.â His tone resolute, âI could help,â he returns.
You deliver a very plain, âYou canât.â Heâs the cause of your confusion, talking to him could make it all so much worse and you donât really want to deal with the fallout of all that.
âWoah, awful dismissive of me, I might be able to fix whatâs wrong easily.â
Turning so youâre facing the screen, you try to focus on the plot, âYou can fix whatâs wrong right now by being quiet and watching the movie.â
âI was watching the movie, you distracted me,â he pokes lightly at your shoulder.
Shushing at him quickly, âShut, Iâm trying to listen.â
He doesnât say anymore, just goes back to watching the movie in silence, probably following the plot better than you are because youâre sat closer to him like this and canât help but sneak glances at him.
Itâs not fair, he looks pretty like this, face illuminated by the soft glow of the television, seemingly entranced by the movie playing. While gazing over his features, you find yourself constantly looking back at his lips, heart stuttering in your chest. You wonder how kissing him would feel like, would it help, wait.
Prying your eyes off him, you desperately hope to be shown some kind of mercy, you shouldnât want to kiss him, you shouldnât be thinking about kissing him. You need to get a hold of yourself.
Unfortunately, you are not shown any mercy and all you can manage to think about is him, how soft his lips might be, how he would kiss you, would he be tentative⌠or would he kiss you like heâs done it a million times before.
Not even realising youâre staring at him again until he sighs and locks his eyes onto yours, âAre you aware youâre staring at me?â
Trying to play it cool by answering, âI was not staring.â
âAre you alright?â Heâs growing a little concerned by your unusual behaviour tonight.
âIâm fine! Good even, just⌠a little lost in thought is all.â You feel guilty.
âAnd just what exactly are you thinking about?â
Your skin flares at his question, feeling embarrassed by your thoughts, âNothing! General thoughts⌠you knowâŚâ
âRightâŚâ Heâs clearly sceptical, not believing your flimsy answers for even a second, âHave I done something to upset you?â
Heâs too much for you right now, you try answering confidently but fail miserably, âNo?â
Moving so his body is facing you, he gets into your space, worried by your answer, âWhy donât you sound sure?â
âWhy are you asking me so many questions tonight?â You avoid his gaze, flustered by him suddenly so close to you. Still thinking about his lips on yours, in the back of your head thinking about his hands on your body.
âYouâre being weird, Iâm just concerned,â his hand reaches for your face, âDo you have a fever or something?â His knuckles rest on your cheek, gauging your temperature.
âSeriously, Iâm fine,â youâre fumbling more than you want to, eyes rounded and shocked looking into his.
It feels like you grow warmer the longer his hand stays on your face, itâs becoming difficult to think. If you had a good reason, you would kick him out right now but youâre already concerning him and youâre trying so hard to be normal. This night is taking a very unfortunate turn.
His face twists, concern written all over it, âYou feel a little warm, are you sure youâre okay?â Hand slipping from your cheek, moving to rest against the back of the couch.
Trying to keep your answers short, you give a simple, âIâm sure.â
Geto doesnât know where to go from here, his silence is evidence of that. You donât blame him though because youâre not really sure where to go from here either, the thoughts of his lips on yours linger in your mind and you feel as if you could die.
âI justâŚâ He looks to you when you start talking, ready to hear whatever it is you have to say, âI was just thinking â and donât make this weird â but I was thinking about⌠how you would kiss meâŚâ your words trail off slightly, growing quieter and quieter with each word.
His eyes widen slightly in response before he switches back to his neutral expression, âIââ
ââI donât wanna know, donât talk actually,â you cut him off abruptly, too embarrassed to dissect this any further and certainly not willing to have a conversation with him about it, already regretting having admitted to thinking it.
He questions you, clearly caught between being entertained and somewhat concerned, âIâm not allowed to comment?â
âNo.â
âEven though youâve been thinking about how I wouldÂââ
Hurriedly moving your hand to cover his mouth, hissing out, âShush!â
Youâre closer like this, the proximity flustering you, the silence awkward, Geto glares at you from under your hand. He has something to say and is showing clear disdain for your repeated interruptions.
His larger hand reaches up and wraps around your wrist, trying to gently pry your hand away but you hold steady. Growing frustrated with this little tug of war game you have going on, he uses more force to pull your hand down, grabbing your other hand as well. Restraining them both in your lap, keeping you still.
Exasperated when he asks, âDonât you think youâre overeating slightly?â
âNo.â You tug back on his grip but get nowhere.
âWhy are you annoyed at me over this? Theyâre your thoughts,â he reminds.
Youâre irritated with how right he is, itâs not his fault youâre thinking like this, but it doesnât change the fact that sitting right next to him makes it difficult for you to think of anything other than how soft his lips might be, or if heâll hold you still while he kisses you, or ifÂâ
He barks out a quick laugh, âYou wanna kiss me that bad?â
Realising you were staring at his lips again you feel like you might spontaneously combust, struggling against his hold and huffing out, âShut up, just forget I even said anything.â
He sounds restrained and incredibly serious when he murmurs back, âMight not be able to if you keep looking at me like that.â
âDonât make this even more embarrassing for me, Suguru! Itâs your fault,â you accuse indignantly.
Lips quirking evilly, âOh? So, you want me to fix it then?â
âYou should! Take a little responsibility,â you grumble out at him, all pouty and annoyed.
Leaning in closer to press you, âDo you want me to kiss you? Do you think it would help?â
âI donât know⌠I meanâŚâ you look to his lips again, gaze getting a little lost as you do.
If Suguru were being honest with you, heâd tell you how much youâre killing him when you look at him like that but heâs stubborn and a tease, so instead he says, âEyes up here.â
Dragging your eyes back to his and staring daggers, completely pissed at him but mostly yourself for being so obvious again, âDo you think it would help?â
âYouâd stop wondering,â he shrugs easily, like this is all so incredibly normal and not uncharted territory for the both of you.
âI donât want this to make our friendship weird,â feeling pathetic as you look at him, youâre not even sure if what you have together is as simple as a friendship, it feels like so much more. At least, youâre kind of hoping it is, kissing him could do irreparable damage and you donât just mean in terms of how you act around one another but specifically how you feel about him.
âI wonât let it,â he assures.
âIâm not worried about youâŚâ
Heâs taken aback by your small admission, itâs not clear enough for him to make any real conclusions from it or confront you on anything just now but he knows it makes his heart beat faster and flusters him slightly. In all his years of casual dating and serious relationships, youâre the only person to have ever made him feel like such a fool.
âItâs up to you then,â he smiles softly.
You arenât sure if itâs worth the risk but if this is the only chance youâll get then you donât know if you want to risk letting it go by either, âI think⌠yes.â
Playing dumb, he asks, ââYesâ what?â
Your tone lowers again, confident answer short lived when he teases you, âYes⌠I want you to kiss meâŚâ
âYouâre sure?â He asks but his hands are already moving up your body, one resting against the side of your neck, touch gentle and light.
âI mean⌠Iâm not sure if this is a good idea but Iâm sure I want you to kiss me.â
He huffs lightly in disbelief, breath tickling against your lips, âWhatâs wrong with you tonight?â
âYouâŚâ Frown dusting your features as you utter it, eyes already focused back on his lips.
He doesnât say anymore after that, faltering in his movements a bit but ultimately moving in completely and pressing his lips to yours delicately. Itâs featherlight, kiss shallow and simple, like heâs holding back. Itâs still enough to have your head full, full of thoughts of him, of how soft his lips are, how gentle his kisses are.
Geto pulls back all too soon for your liking, putting some distance between the two of you, head cocking to the side as he looks you over, âCuriosity satisfied.â
âIs that really how you would want to kiss me?â
âWhat?â
At his question youâre suddenly all too aware how bold yours was, âI just⌠Itâs nothing, sorry.â Fumbling over yourself, not wanting to hurt his feelings, âIt was nice! It was a nice kiss.â
âNo, no,â he squints at you, âGo on⌠say what you want.â
Itâs quiet for a moment, your hesitance clear, ââŚDid you⌠kiss me how you wanted to?â
âI think if I kissed you how I wanted,â pausing to lean in closer, âYou might pass out or something.â
âOh, come on, youâre not my first kiss or anything,â you roll your eyes at him and his ego, âI was just curious, if thatâs really how youâd kiss me then thatâs all there is to it, it was a nice kiss,â you shrug at him.
âWhy am I starting to feel like Iâm being assessed?â
âIf you feel that way then thatâs on you.â Trying so hard to play it cool, like you canât tell he was holding back, like you donât want him to kiss you more, âDo you wanna go back in the movie? To where we were before?â
As you get up to move off the couch and find the remote, Suguru is pulling you back down to him, one hand gently holding the front of your throat. You donât get a second to think about all the movements he just made, his lips on yours, rushed, like heâs suddenly, incredibly desperate to kiss you.
Barely able to keep up with him, head dizzy from the whiplash, this isnât at all how he kissed you before. Youâre basically panting against him when he does pull back, allowing you the small moment to catch your breath.
His thumb pulls down on your chin lightly, âOpen your mouth more,â his eyes are lidded as he looks at you, tone deeper than before.
Obeying him wordlessly and then heâs kissing you again, tongue in your mouth. Itâs all messy and rushed and has you losing your mind. Your arms wrap around his neck, and he pulls your body closer to his, hand moving to the back of your head.
When he sucks your tongue into his mouth and licks at you, you canât stop the moan that leaves you. Swallowed down by Geto in an appreciative manner, his kiss lingers for a while longer, making you dizzy and thoughtless. He pulls back from you, connected by a string of saliva that snaps when he licks at his lower lip.
The look on your face is dumbstruck, eyes big and wet as you gaze up at him in a dazed manner. It makes him feel feral, not able to help the way he leans back in and presses more short, sloppy kisses to your swollen lips.
Thereâs a pause before you can regain your faculties enough to say anything to him and even then, the only thing you can manage is, âI⌠uhmâŚâ
âWas that better?â Heâs trying to be light-hearted about it, but his lips are swollen as well, and his eyes are lidded, and he looks⌠âYou didnât pass out did you?â His head lowers so his eyes catch yours.
Your brain feels fuzzy and all you can think about it how youâve never been kissed like that before, that you want to keep being kissed like that, âWhat? No⌠I just⌠wow.â
âLive up to your expectations?â
âI didnât really have any, I was only curiousâŚâ Smiling big at him, you add, âBut yeah, maybe even exceeded them.â
âYou aiming to boost my ego, or did I really kiss you stupid?â He canât help the way he leans in again, just shy of your lips.
Mouth on yours before you get to answer or refute what heâs accused, you donât stop him though, allowing him to kiss you fully, deeply. One of his hands on the side of your face, holding you, the other grips at your hip, almost tugging you in closer.
Before you lose focus again, you part to gasp out, âI donât know ifââ interrupted by his lips on yours, hand tangling into his hair to pull him back, he groans at the force of the tug, âSuguru, I donât think itâs a good idea to keepââ
ââJust another kiss, one moreâŚâ breathless in how he asks, mouth hot on yours, tongue already in your mouth.
Itâs almost too much, heâs so insistent, heâs kissing you like he might never get to again, like heâs trying to get the most out of this. He might actually have you passing out, itâs not even as if you really want him to stop but thatâs part of the problem, isnât it?
Pulling back, he sucks on your lower lip before nipping at it, the whimper he pulls from you is embarrassing and weak and youâre facing an internal conflict of so many emotions right now but mostly youâre struck by how badly you want to sleep with him.
You hadnât realised his hand had snuck under your shirt, warm and large against your side, sending a shiver down your spine. The breathlessness youâre hit with has your skin feeling hot as you try to stumble out your words, âI, uh, think we should stop⌠here.â
âWhy? Am I not a good kisser? Are you not enjoying yourself?â A smile creeps onto his face, âYou sounded like you were enjoying yourself.â
âDonât.â Your head tucks down and onto his chest, forehead leaning against him, âPlease donât embarrass me.â
He wraps his arms around your body, embracing you, âCanât help it.â
You stay like this for probably longer than you should, enjoying the moment too much for someone whoâs about to go back to being just his friend.
Geto breaks the silence first, speaking into the top of your head, âIs your curiosity satisfied or are you going to start kicking me again?â
âI canât promise Iâll never kick you again but yeah⌠Iâm satisfied.â
He laughs against you, âAlright, well, if youâre ever curious again⌠you know where to find me.â
â Ë・âŕ¨ŕ§Ë
Itâs been about a week since you crossed a line you probably shouldnât have in your friendship with Geto, and like the incredibly brave individual you are⌠you have been ignoring him.
Not on purpose though, you intend on replying to all his messages⌠but then you get nervous and freak yourself out and stop short of sending anything back. From his messages, you can tell heâs getting increasingly more worried⌠or maybe frustrated⌠youâre not sure, there is only so much you can infer over text.
Maybe you should reply, looking at his last message that reads, âseriously? answer me. today.â Oh yeah⌠heâs annoyed, you have no idea how to reply to him, maybe something simple? Or maybe a long paragraph overexplaining yourself⌠or maybeâ
Your phone screen changes to Shokoâs caller ID, saved by the metaphorical bell, âHey! Whatâs up?â
She sounds a bit short when she answers you, âAre you coming tonight?â
âTonightâŚâ You trail off, completely blanking on what the hell sheâs talking about.
Her reply coming incredibly deadpan and disappointed, âYou forgot.â
âNo noo, I would never forget aboutâŚâ The rest of your sentence dropping off, silence falling over the line.
She fills in the gaps for you, âThe stupid party thatâs being thrown by our stupid friends to celebrate the stupid event that is a boring, normal, Friday night.â
She already sounds over it and youâre pretty sure she wouldâve only just got there, âOkay, well⌠I now feel significantly better about the fact that I actually had forgotten what tonight was.â
âYeah well I wish I had forgotten too because this is boring without you.â
âDidnât you only just get there?â
âI feel like thatâs beside the point,â you can feel her eyeroll through the phone, âSo, when are you getting here?â
Sighing as you ask, âDo I really have to come?â
Not missing a single beat when she shoots back, âIâm here which means yes, you do.â
You go quiet for a moment, ââŚWill Suguru be there?â
âYouâre more likely to know than me,â she sounds confused, âListen, I donât know what happened but surely you donât think you can avoid him forever.â
âNot forever⌠just tonight,â you really donât feel like running into him in person, not when you can barely get your head on straight long enough to message him back.
âI havenât seen him, and he didnât sound all that interested when this was first planned so I doubt he will show up.â
âYouâre not just lying to get me there, are you?â
âOf course not,â itâs always been hard to tell when sheâs joking but youâre pretty sure Suguru isnât there, if you had been replying to him, you probably wouldâve ended up hanging out together tonight just to avoid that pointless party.
Deciding to take the risk, you acquiesce, âAlright, Iâll be there soon, just give me a bit to put on something that isnât pyjamas.â
Getting out of the apartment will be good for you, that and youâll have the chance to catch up with Shoko, itâs been a while since you last hung out.
âJust come in your pyjamas.â
âOkay, now youâre being unreasonable,â you chuckle.
She groans through the phone, âGojo and I just made eye contact, thatâs like asking to be trapped in a conversation for at least an hour.â
You smile at her and her exaggeration, âThatâs really funny, tell him I said hi.â
âDonât hang up on meââ
The line goes dead as you hang up on her.
Nearly an hour has passed by the time you get to the party, but when you make eye contact with Shoko across the room â still stuck in conversation with Gojo â it looks like a century has passed for her.
Walking up to them both, you grab Gojo by the sides of his arms and shake him, making a loud noise to scare him as you do. He just about dies then and there, head whipping around to see itâs just you and gripping a hand over his chest.
Heâs a little breathless when he scolds you, âYou scared the fuck outta me, what the hell?â
âI thought it would be funny,â you smile bright at him, out the corner of your eye seeing Shoko fighting a smile and hiding it behind her drink.
âIt wasnât,â he half pouts.
âIt kinda was,â Shoko interjects.
He just continues to pout over how badly you got him.
âHi Satoru,â you chirp at him, trying to be as sweet as possible for scaring the living daylights out of him.
âYes, hello,â he fights a smile when greeting you back, and then his face twists as if suddenly remembering something, âHey! What happened with you and Suguru?â
Taken aback by his abruptness, âWhat?â
Staring intently at you, seemingly desperate to know your business, âI know something happened, you gotta tell me what.â
Honestly, you wouldâve thought Geto wouldâve told him by now, seeing as how theyâre sort of attached at the hip, âHe hasnât told you?â
âHeâs insistent that nothing is wrong.â
âThen nothingâs wrong.â
âI know something is wrong and I also know youâre dodging him because he made me text you to see if youâd reply and you replied within the same minute,â he squints at you accusatorily.
Arms crossing over your chest as you size him up, âYou sent me a photo of the cat that hangs out in your neighbourhood as bait? Thatâs messed up Satoru.â
âI was investigating,â he defends.
âNo, you were being nosy, just like you are now.â Something occurs to you very suddenly, âWait, if youâre here⌠and Iâm here⌠where is Suguru?â
âHere, obviously,â he shrugs.
Turning, you glare at Shoko who raises her hands in defence, âDonât look at me like that, I didnât lie, I really havenât seen him. Iâve been trapped in conversation with this idiot the whole time.â
âTrapped? Thatâs so mean Shoko,â Gojo plays up his hurt, sulking and giving her the saddest eyes he can muster. It unsurprisingly has no effect on her.
Heâs here somewhere, you need to leave before he sees you. Youâre so annoyed at yourself for not connecting that Gojo being here obviously meant Geto was going to be here too, especially since he wasnât with you.
Spinning, you go for the front door you came through not that long ago, getting it open a crack before a hand above your head closes it. Turning around, you come face to face with Suguru, a very annoyed Suguru. Polite smile painted on his face but his eyebrow twitches slightly.
His weight supported by his hand on the door, leaning down to you, âAnd where are you going?â
âI was just gonna⌠head home⌠get an early night?â Looking away from him as you lie poorly, not able to look at him without thinking about how he kissed you.
He points out, âYou just got here though.â
âYeah, itâs just⌠not my sceneâŚâ In your defence, not a complete lie.
âReally? Because it feels like youâre avoiding me.â He leans down to catch your eyes with his, sick of you avoiding eye contact.
Youâre only able to look at him incrementally, eyes flicking from his, to the wall behind him, âNo thereâs no reason for me to be avoiding you, I donât know why you would think that.â
âOh good! That means you can stay then,â face scrunching with his â now â less than polite smile. Clearly growing frustrated with how youâre refusing to communicate with him properly.
You have no excuses to give, nothing good or even remotely believable anyways, âI uhhââ
Cutting you off to give an ultimatum, ââEither weâre leaving and talking like adults or youâre staying right here and suffering through this whole night with me right by your side.â
His choice in wording disgruntles you, locking eyes to say, âIt doesnât cause me suffering to be beside you, Suguru,â you want to make at least that much clear.
He gives you a tight-lipped smile, âGood. Then you wonât mind me not leaving your side.â
Weighing your options, you donât know what would be better right now. On the one hand youâd get to leave but then youâd have to tell him about how much youâre affected by the line you crossed, about how youâre developing feelings for him that you shouldnât have indulged in. On the other, you stay but he lingers around you all night and youâre left haunted by all the things you want to say but canât quite bring yourself to.
âLetâs go back to everyone then,â you smile back at him.
His face drops, âYou donât wanna talk about it that bad?â
âSuguru, youâre looking for answers I donât even know if I can give you.â
He relents and takes a step back from you, âFine. But just so you know, you canât get rid of me that easily.â Waiting for you to want to talk first seems to be his main goal but you can see just how impatient heâs getting.
You ignore his comment and walk past him back to Gojo and Shoko in the other room, theyâre both exactly where you left them. Itâs awkward, for you anyways, you donât know about them or everyone else here, but you feel awkward.
It carries on for the whole night, itâs been a couple hours now and Suguru is still just following you around wordlessly. Only speaking to others when spoken too, engaging in some conversation, only to cut it short when you move on.
This really isnât fun for you, normally not even bothering to come to house parties like this and only doing this as a favour to Shoko but sheâs gone home now, and youâre left here with just Geto. Youâd leave too, but you have a feeling Geto is going to follow you home, or at the very least make you talk to him before you try leaving and youâre just⌠so not in the mood.
Sighing softly to yourself as you walk into the kitchen, somehow managing to shake your tail, for now. Taking the small reprieve as a chance to breathe and think, which is cut short when some stranger starts a conversation with you.
âHi! Youâre really hot, do you want a drink? I can make you a drink. Iâve never seen you here before and trust me â Iâd remember you.â Heâs slurring his words slightly, âSo, drink? You wanâ I can get you aââ
Heâs really forward, and drunk, itâs making you uncomfortable, especially since youâre far to sober and far too annoyed to have to deal with drunk men. ââIâm good, thank you, Iâm not drinking.â
âOh, come on! Jus one drink, itâll loosen you up,â he moves in to elbow your shoulder lightly, âYouâre too hot to beÂâ to be such a downer, maybe a smile would help.â
Completely unamused and slowly shuffling back away from him, âI think Iâd prefer you just leave me alone; Iâm not interested.â
âDonâ donât be like that,â he sulks at you.
Your back collides with someoneâs front and looking up you can see itâs your missing stalker of the night. As annoyed at Geto as you are, you are endlessly thankful for his timing, physically feeling yourself relax now that heâs here.
Geto glares down at the pushy guy, âSheâs not interested.â
âOh man, I didnât know she hadâ had a boyfriend, you know you should keep an eye on her,â the drunk idiot leers at you, âSheâs kind of a tease, leading me on,â he shrugs.
Your face grimaces at his words and the way he eyes you, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. Suguru moves in front of you, shielding you from him, his lip twitches at this guyâs words, âExcuse me?â
âNo, well⌠I jus mean she didnât tell meÂââ
ââShe said she wasnât interested, that was enough,â Getoâs tone is growing more irritated by the moment.
âSuguru, letâs just go, itâs fine,â you tug on the hem of his jacket, not really wanting to have to deal with the fallout of whatever may happen if this idiot keeps unwittingly provoking Geto. He tries his best, but he has a breaking point, and he tends to hit it pretty quick when youâre involved.
He glances back at you, âItâs not fine.â
âOkay, itâs not but I kinda canât stand this guy and this party sucks and Iâm annoyed, and I donât wanna be here anymore,â you feel a little pathetic for whinging but youâre so drained and this guy was your breaking point.
All his attention drops from that guy to you, his hands coming up to either side of your face, taking in how tired you look. Thumbs stroking high on your cheekbones, âAlright, letâs leave.â
Relief in your bones at the fact youâre about to be gone from here, âThank you.â
From behind Geto you can see the drunk take the opportunity to slip away, apparently smart enough to use this distraction to his advantage. If Geto notices, he doesnât say anything, clearly done with him, all attention on you now.
He hums at you, asking, âHowâd you get here?â
Your eyes flick back to his, âI didnât drive, if thatâs what youâre asking,â you took an uber, you thought youâd either catch a ride with Shoko, or youâd take another uber home.
âYouâre riding with me then.â His large hand takes yours, âCome on,â heâs tugging you through the house behind him.
The car ride has been quiet, you can feel your head drooping and your eyes closing, very nearly falling asleep. That is until, you notice Geto isnât taking you to your house, instead heading towards his.
Turning to face him, you ask, âWhy are we going back to yours?â
Without turning to look at you, he replies, âBecause youâve been avoiding me, so I am now forcing you to spend time with me.â
Heâs decidedly not funny. Sighing as you try to chide him, âSuguruââ
Finally glancing your way only to speak over you, ââDonât âSuguruâ me, my place is closer and youâre tired, if you werenât being so weird around me ever since I kââ
ââShhh, be quiet.â Your cheeks suddenly feel warm at the memory of how insistent his kisses were.
âAll Iâm saying is, if you werenât being so weird around me, youâd come back to mine tonight anyways.â
Itâs frustrating to you that heâs right, you normally would just go back to his and crash in his bed and then youâd make him breakfast the next morning to make up for the fact that youâd taken up his whole bed.
The only thing you can think to say is a flat, ââŚFine.â Crossing your arms and looking out the car window the rest of the short drive.
â Ë・âŕ¨ŕ§Ë
Back at his apartment, he lends you some clothes to sleep in. Itâs all incredibly intimate, showering in his bathroom, using the spare toothbrush you keep here, wearing his clothes, has your friendship always been this intimate or are you just looking at it in a new light.
Leaving his bathroom, you find him in his room, getting his bed ready for you to sleep in, you stand awkwardly at the foot of it, âIâll just sleep on your couch.â
âDonât be ridiculous, you always sleep in the bed with me.â
âYeah butâŚâ Your brows settle into a deep frown, âDo you not feel weird?â
He drops the blanket back onto the bed, exasperation with you clear, âI said to you â I wouldnât let it affect our friendship, and thatâs what Iâm doing.â Turning to look at you before adding, âYouâre the one making it weird.â
âI know thatâŚâ You also know that you were the one who said you werenât worried about him.
His arms are crossed as he looks you over, âIâm gonna shower now, you donât have to sleep in the bed, but I think you should, you know firsthand how awful that couch is.â
âGo have your shower,â you shoo him out of the room, standing in the middle of it, alone, considering what you should do.
The couch really is atrocious, itâs part of the reason why you started sleeping in his bed when you visited. He always says heâll get a nicer couch or a blow-up mattress for you, but he never does, and you always end up in his bed anyways.
Deciding youâre too drained to think any harder about all of this, you crawl into his bed and make yourself comfortable. Everything is so frustrating to you right now, have you always felt this confused about your friendship or were the lines blurred for so long that youâre having trouble understanding where you both stand.
The irony of the situation is annoying and almost laughable because if it were about anyone else youâd be hitting up Geto and asking for his advice on it all.
When he comes back into the room, he shuffles around a bit before turning off the lights and getting into bed beside you. Youâre lying on your side with your back to him, pretending to already be asleep.
His voice cuts through the quiet of the room, âI miss you.â
Your reaction to it is almost visceral, how are you meant to reply to that. It doesnât help you feel better at all, only leaving you longing for something you donât know if youâre allowed to claim.
Your friendship has always been on a precarious ledge but itâs only now that you let yourself acknowledge the disgusting depth of your feelings for him.
You mumble into the pillow, âIâm right here.â
âThen why do you feel so far away?â
Readjusting, you rotate so youâre facing him, not completely prepared for him to already be facing you. Propped up on his elbow, closer than your poor heart was ready for. You lower your head, so you donât have to look at his face, âI wasnât purposefully ignoring you, I really did want to reply.â
He pushes, âSo why didnât you?â
âI didnât know what to sayâŚâ
âWhat can I do to help?â He lowers himself down to your level, head on his bicep.
You still avoid his gaze, âNothing, you canât do anything.â
âYouâre beingââ
ââYou are the problem, Suguru, there is nothing you can do to help but get out of my head,â you meet his eyes, frown prominent on your face, âYou and your stupid kiss, you made it all a thousand times worse for me.â
âMaking out with me was so life changing that you canât get it out of your head, and youâre annoyed at me for that? Youâre the one who wanted to know what it was like.â Heâs trying to keep his tone light-hearted but heâs struggling, seemingly growing more irritated by it all.
You grumble at him, discontent, âYou donât need to point out the obvious, stupid.â
A noise of disagreement comes from him, âWell, I feel like I kinda do, since youâre overreacting.â
âI am not overreacting.â
âYou are though.â
âNo because itâs not justâŚâ you stop short, ââŚWhatever, Iâm going to sleep so be quiet.â He smiles at you like youâre completely endearing, which only frustrates you further.
âThe only reason you would be this annoyed is because you want to kiss me again, or moreâŚâ his hand reaches for your chin and tilts your head up towards him, âYou tell me, are you still curious?â
âShut up,â you huff out, going to move away only for his hand to slide to your cheek, holding you still.
âYou havenât asked me, you know.â
âWhat?â
âWhat if I want to kiss you again? What if I want to do more?â His forehead rests against yours, âYouâve been so caught up in your own head, acting like an idiot over this, that youâve not even asked yourself about what I want.â
âI am not an idiot.â
âNo, but youâve certainly been acting like one.â His hand slides from your face, down the side of your body, landing on your hip. âAt first I thought it was cute, the curiosity, the unawareness,â his hand tugs you in closer to him, body against yours. âBut now⌠now Iâm growing impatient.â
Your head feels fuzzy, pressed up against him and that seems to be the only thing your brain is processing right now, âIâm confused.â
âItâs really quite simple,â he leans in, lips ghosting against yours.
You want so badly to kiss him, breath catching in your chest at the way his lips tickle against yours. Your attention solely on the way he might kiss you.
âYou like me, and while itâs endearing to watch you fumble your way through the realisation, itâs killing me to know youâre all caught up on how I kissed you and not even being able to get in contact with you.â
âWhat? What?â Your brain takes a second to catch up, âI do notâ you canât knowâ justâ what?â
âI can know, you know how? Because youâre painfully obvious about it. So honest, telling me about how youâre thinking of me, not able to look at me without looking at my lips,â a light laugh leaves him at your expression, âAnd itâs sweet, really. But Iâm getting annoyed by the fact that youâre so obsessed with your own feelings that youâve failed to consider mine.â
Heâs giving you so much whiplash right now, âYouââ
ââYou think I kissed you like that just âcause?â He frowns at you, âI kissed you like that because I wanted to, I feel I was a little obvious about it all actually.â
âIâve been so worried about ruining our friendship,â you feel so pathetic when you say it.
âI know,â he presses a kiss to your forehead, âBut Iâve hoped for nothing more.â He sighs, âI wanted you to come to me on your own, to talk to me about it but instead you hid from me.â
âWhat was I supposed to think? Through my eyes, I was stupid and asked you to kiss me just because I was thinking about it, only to not stop thinking about it, and then realise I like you, my friend.â You pull back from him slightly, âHow was I meant to talk to you about it?â
âYou think Iâd kiss just any friend because they simply wondered about what it would be like?â his brow lifts at you, âDonât you think our friendship has always been a little too intimate to just be a friendship?â
âNothing was ever said⌠how was I supposed to know?â
âOkay, well, let me be perfectly clear,â he tugs you in close again, eyes meeting yours, like heâs going to say something incredibly important, only to plant his lips on yours in a full kiss.
Hand holding you to him tight, like he needs you to stay pressed up against him. His mouth on yours hot and consuming, kiss messy, tongue licking at yours. An involuntary moan gets caught in your chest and your hand moves to his hair, tangling in it.
Parting to pant out, âI like youââ kissing you again, âI like kissing youââ lips desperate against yours, âI want to do so much moreââ he never parts from you long at all, barley willing to but needing to get his words out.
This is a feeling that youâre never going to be able to forget, the first time he kissed you overwhelming enough and now itâs like heâs completely following his instinct. No critical thinking happening in his head or yours. All your thoughts wash away from you, slipping through your fingers before it even occurs to you to form a thought.
Less scared now, throwing caution to the wind, not worrying about how you should stop, how you canât ruin the fragility of your friendship. It doesnât matter anymore, not when he already knows how you feel, not when he seems to feel the same, not when it feels this good.
He mumbles against you, âThat clear enough?â
âNo,â you huff back, âI think⌠Iâm still a little confused.â
âWell, in that case,â he smirks before kissing you again.
Hand moving to your thigh, sliding it across your skin before grabbing at your knee and crooking your leg to rest on his hip. Leaning into you slightly, using his weight to push back on you, rolling the pair of you until heâs on top. Forearm holding himself over you, other hand still on your knee, holding you flush to him.
You gasp up at him when his erection ruts into your core, lips parting messily, spit connecting the two of you. A shudder runs down his spine when he looks down at you, at how youâre looking up at him. All big, wet eyes and kiss swollen lips, itâs like he feels all his insides softening for you in that moment, in the most sickeningly affectionate way.
His eyes suddenly look lost, and you donât know why, going to say something only for his lips to land on yours again. Short, firm kisses planted on your lips over and over again, barely able to return them before heâs pulling back, just to do it again.
Itâs sweet but itâs frustrating you, your hands are eventually grabbing at either side of his face and forcing his mouth onto yours, lips meshing together, kissing him fully. Tongue in his mouth, your arms wrapping around his neck, fingers playing with his hair. He moans at how youârekissing him, at how both your legs are now wrapped around his waist.
Practically clinging to him, lips locked to his, your need making your body hot and head fuzzy. Youâre trying so hard to not come across desperate for him, but you really canât help the way your hips seek out his, grinding up into him.
His voice shakes with a moan, breaking the kiss, ââOhh fuck â hah ââ a breathless kind of laugh leaving him, "A little eager, arenât you?"
"Should we stop then?â You ask with a smile, hands untangling and pushing at his shoulders.
He rushes out, âNo no, I didnât say that,â he pulls your arms, so theyâre wrapped around his neck again, âCome back,â a light laugh leaves him, pressing kisses all over your face, lingering on your lips.
âSo⌠you donât want to stop?â
âAbsolutely not, be as needy as you want,â he looks down between where his hips are resting against yours, his cock twitching in his pants, âHell⌠be needier.â
âI donât know⌠maybe this is all happening too fast,â you say it light heartedly, teasing him, âI mean⌠we are just friends.â
âJust friends?â He takes personal issue with that, even if he can tell youâre goading him, âJust friends but youâre grinding your pussy all over me?â His hand slips into the front of your borrowed sleep shorts, two fingers rubbing between your folds over your panties.
Gasp leaving you, chest stuttering, âS-Suguru, Iââ
âLetting your friend touch you like this, hmm?â He pulls your panties to the side, âFuckâ this wet for your friend?â
Your back arches against the bed when his fingers slip over your clit, struggling to get your words out, âIâ mmphâ I get it, mâsorry.â
âSorry for what?â He smiles sweetly at you but two of his fingers are slipping inside you, quirking up and rubbing at just the right spot.
God, your eyes roll into the back of your head, cunt pulsing around his fingers so needily. Hands grabbing at him, tangling in his long hair, gasping for air you donât really need but feeling like you canât breathe from how heâs touching you.
âWhat are you sorry for, pretty?â He wants you back on track, he wants to hear you stumble out your apology to him.
âI-Iâm sorry â hnnn â f-forâŚâ your mouth drops open in a moan when his thumb rubs at your clit, âYouâre not jusâ youâre not just my friend â oh! Youâre moreâ you mean moreâ Ah! Ah!â You canât think, not when he adds another finger to your pussy, stretching you so open.
He leans in, fingers not stopping, âYou mean it?â
Itâs a question made to tease you but with your gooey brain, you look up at him so earnestly and answer, âMhm, yeah.â Nodding your head firmly at him, even when your eyes look so fucked out.
Soft squelching noises fill the room with how his fingers fuck into you, your cunt clamping tight down around them. Walls so hot and wet that itâs driving him crazy, imagining how it would feel to have you wrapped so snug around his neglected cock.
He wants so badly to rip off your pants, so he can see just how well youâre taking his fingers but youâre pulsing so rhythmically around him, and your eyes roll with how good you feel, making the nicest expressions for him that he canât even tear his eyes away from your face if he wanted to.
âOh, youâre really cute right now,â he leans in and presses a kiss to your cheek, his heart stammering at how your wet eyes sparkle at him, at how your bottom lip wobbles.
Pouting up at him, âYou donâtâ ah! thinkâ think Iâm cute all the time?â
âI think youâre downright adorable all the time,â he laughs airily, âBut especially right now,â heâs gazing so intently at your face, âBecause, Iâm pretty sureâŚâ his thumb speeds up on your clit, ââŚYouâre about to cum all over my fingers.â
Oh, how his words effect you so deeply, his tone, the cockiness and if he werenât touching you so right you wouldnât find it as arousing as you do but you feel like you could cry from just how overwhelming it all is.
Shaking your head at him as if to say âno, youâre not about to cum.â Â
âNo?â He pouts at you mockingly, âYou sure?â
Denying it really doesnât get you anywhere, especially since he can feel how you tighten around his fingers, how your gooey cunt pulses for him. Your back arching meanly, legs wanting so badly to kick against the air. Hand tugging at his hair as you gasp, broken moans leaving you.
âI mustnât be doing this right then,â he hums at you in thought, slowing his movements slightly, âShould I stop then? Change up what Iâm doing?â
The thought of him stopping now, or changing what heâs doing kills you, almost literally. Your eyes widen and you shake your head vehemently at him, âDonât stopâ hnnâ donâtâ please,â begging him with your eyes.
âOnly âcause you begged so nicely,â his tone so sweet on you.
He doesnât change anything, keeps fucking you with his fingers in the way thatâs driving you crazy. His mouth waters at how your pussy gushes for him, dick leaking into his pants, losing his fucking mind at how heâs able to finally touch you like this, how youâre letting him touch you like this, even begging for it.
Muscles pulling taut, hearing and sight going fuzzy, âIâ ohhâ Sugu I canâtâ Iâm gonnaââ
âYou can,â dragging it out in a singsong, âDoing so well for me, pretty.â
Biting on your lip to hold back all the moans tumbling from them, hands pulling at him as you struggle to breathe through it. Chest stuttering as your cunt clamps down around his fingers, pulling him closer to you and planting your lips on his, desperately kissing him as you cum all over his fingers. Tongue licking into his mouth, his own moans spilling into the kiss.
Panting against your open mouth to say, âJust came all over your friendsâ fingers,â his smile taunting and bright.
Your head lolls to the side, âSo you really do just like teasing me, huh?â
âPretty sure I said I couldnât help it,â his fingers slip from your core, sucking them into his mouth, licking them clean in a display so obscene that your skin feels warm.
If he were a lesser man, heâd cum from licking himself clean, groaning around his fingers, mostly for himself but also somewhat to embarrass you. Loving how you squirm, and your face pulls up in embarrassment. All dazed and stupid looking from your orgasm, it makes his heart skip and his dick jerk.
You shock him when you tug your shirt up and over your head, moving to pull at his but heâs too distracted by your tits to make any move other than to lean down and press wet kisses all over your chest.
âSuguruâ hahâ your shirt,â your fingers still pull at the fabric.
âYou canâtââ he sucks and licks at your nipple, relishing in the reactions and sounds heâs pulling from you, ââYou canât show me your tits and expect me to not touch them.â
When he looks up at you, his eyes are lazy and dazed, his tongue drooling all over your boobs. Moving to plant more firm and wet kisses all over your unbelievably soft skin, sucking to leave behind his mark. Wanting to leave behind marks that he will see when he wakes up tomorrow, marks that he will leave marks over so that they never go away, so he will always have evidence of how he touched you. Of how you let him touch you.
Groping at all your exposed skin, pulling at you, fingers tugging at your nipple, while he salivates all over the other one. Your legs tug his hips down into yours, rubbing your clothed cunt all over him, wanting him to fuck you so badly. Heâs working you up so unfairly, already making you cum and then playing with your tits in a way that has you itching to be full of his dick.
âSuguru,â he ruts his hips back down into you but doesnât remove his mouth from you, so you pull at his hair harshly, âPlease.â
He moans at how you pull at him, eyes lidded, âSo demanding.â
âYouâre taking too long.â
He tuts at you, nipping lightly at the skin between your tits, âYouâre just impatient.â
âYeah, I am,â untangling your legs from him, you shuffle your shorts and panties down and off your body, âAre you going to help?â
âHow can I refuse when you ask like that?â The desire to lick at your pussy, make out with your cunt, is huge but with how you look at him, so needy and impatient, he needs to shove his dick in you. Now.
When you go to tug at his shirt, he lets you, letting you pull it off him completely, goose bumps breaking out across his skin with how you rake your nails delicately over him. The affection he holds for you feels like it grows tenfold at how you look at him, how tenderly you touch him.
âYouâre so pretty,â youâre mumbling it out at him before youâre really registering that youâve thought it, let alone spoke it.
His head drops into the crook of your neck, âSo sweet on me, got me forgetting why I waited so long to say anything.â
You grin at him, âBecause youâre stupid.â
âOh, thatâs right,â he sneers back at you before shuffling back to pull his pants off. Finding immense joy in how your smug little smile drops from your face when his cock is free, tip flushed a pretty pink and leaking profusely, precum dribbling down the sides of his dick.
Moving to get up before even really thinking about it, wanting to touch him. Only to fall into the pillows when his large hand pushes you back by your sternum. Looking to him just as he leans in, lips brushing yours so softly youâd think youâd imagined it if he didnât immediately follow it up with a firm kiss.
âI want to touch you,â hands already finding their way back to his shoulders, his long hair tickling against skin.
His head is dipping low to watch how he moves his hands down your body, brushing against your inner thighs, opening your legs for him more, âWell, I want to fuck you.â Heâs not capable of taking his eyes off your gooey cunt, so wet for him.
Goading him with your words, âWhat are you waiting for? A formal invitation?â
âSharp tongue for someone so sensitive,â he muses, fingers slipping through your folds, gently over your clit to make you jolt, as if to prove his point.
Not giving you a chance to say another snarky comment, his fingers dipping into your hole again, fingers stretching you open obscenely, pulling back covered in cum from your previous orgasm and fresh slick. Itâs almost embarrassing how soaked you are, at least it would be if he didnât seem almost overjoyed at the sight.
His hand covered in your mess moves to his dick, stroking himself, lubing himself so you can take him easier. Wanting to rub your thighs together, to squirm at how he languidly pumps at his cock, how his brows upturn and his mouth gapes slightly.
Palm warm against your inner thigh, holding you still, moving so he can tap his dick against your clit, smiling at how your body jerks.
âDonât be a tease,â your hand moves for his, but he grabs at you before you reach him, looping his fingers with yours.
His tone is cheerful and bright, âBut you look so cute when youâre frustrated.â
âIâll leave,â you threaten, not even a little convincingly, way too horny to be taken seriously.
âReally?â He raises a brow at you, intrigued, âI donât think youâd get very far,â mocking pout settling on his features.
Nothing if not stubborn and true to your word, you push him back and roll to get out of the bed defiantly. Barely making it to the edge of the mattress when his hands are on your sides and manhandling you back into your previous position. Spreading your legs wide and rubbing the tip of his cock through your folds, just dipping into your hole before repeating the previous movements.
Biting his lower lip as he watches, his precum smearing all over your messy cunt, âTold you, you wouldnât get very far.â
Your head rolls at how he dips his dick in more, beginning to stretch you open, his hips stuttering forwards, hand slapping down onto the bed beside you to stop himself from pushing you too far.
âOhâ ohâ fuck! HowÂâ h-how are you this tight, oh,â breathless not even beginning to describe how fucked out he already sounds.
âM-more, Sugu, pleaseâ Iââ
At your insistence, he fucks himself all the way in, holding his hips to yours as he fills you to the hilt. Your pussy spasming and creaming around him, so worked up that he can feel just how aroused you are in the way you twitch, at how your fingers grab at his skin, how your breath is uneven and broken.
He canât help but marvel at how you let out little squealed moans, how your cunt stretches to take all of him. On cloud nine at how youâre so horny over how heavy heâs sitting inside you that youâre close to tears.
The moan he lets out is debauched, unbelievably turned on when your hips struggle to grind down into him needily, working yourself up to an orgasm so fucking fast that he canât do anything but watch in awe.
You canât stop yourself, you know you should, should slow down and maybe calm down but it feels so good. Heâs so big inside you, his cock pulsing in a way that has you memorising the thumping rhythm. Not usually so eager, never this eager, enthusiastically rutting down into him over and over again before suddenly cumming all over him.
Choked and gasped moans pulled from you as your hands reach for him, hoping for him to let you tug him down into you but heâs too busy watching how you pulse and cum all over him. Obsessed with how your cute, little cunt struggles with his size as you coat him in all your creamy cum.
âHoly fuck,â he laughs, âThat wasââ
Head dizzy and eyes lazy as you whinge at him, ââDonâtâ donât say anything.â
âYou came as soon as I got inside you and you expect me to make no comment?â
âItâs embarrassing.â
âI think it was adorable,â he hums, voice strained, much more effected by it than heâs willing to let on.
You whine when he leans down into you, cock somehow reaching deeper. Getoâs arms cage you in either side your head, resting on his forearms, his lips against yours in a breathless kiss. Beginning shallow thrusts, his lips insistent on yours, fucking you so carefully for now.
Quickly, the need to have him fucking you stupid grows within you again and your legs loop around him properly, pulling him into you, wrapping yourself around him, mouth panting against his.
âFuckâ hahâ youâre so wet,â heâs fucking into you faster, hips becoming desperate, âItâs actuallyâ itâsâ hnnâ itâs crazy how good you feel,â he moves his head to the crook of your neck, growling beside your ear, âsuch a soaked little cunt, taking it soâ ohhâ taking it so good.â
âAh! Ah! Sugu, itâsâ ohhâ itâsâ moreâ I need more,â your fingers dig into his back, depraved wet sloshing sounds of him fucking into you so well fill the room.
He nips at your neck, âDemanding little thing arenât you?â
Heâs pulling out of you and the moan you let out is small and pathetic, disgruntled by his abrupt movement. The last thing you see is his smug grin before heâs flipping you over onto your stomach, hands pulling your hips up and pushing on your upper back, manoeuvring your body into an obscene arch.
Taking his sweet time to slip back inside, eyeing up your pussy and how your hole trembles and drools for him. Your hips wriggle back at him and he finds himself incredibly amused at how blatantly needy you are, apparently honest with him in more ways than one.
Just as you were about to turn around and complain at how long heâs taking to re-enter you, heâs shoving his cock back in all at once, jolting your body up the bed and forcing a moan out from your lungs.
âOhhâ Suguâ IâŚâ you trail off as his hips pick up, eyes rolling to the back of your head.
Sliding your legs further apart to take more of him inside, arching yourself even more, greedy cunt sucking him deep inside. Heâs barely able to withdraw before youâre fucking your hips back into him, desperately driving back, so fucking needy that if you had half your mind youâd be embarrassed but right now all you can think about is how his dick thumps against your walls, how his hands grip onto you tight, probably leaving behind marks to match the ones he left all over your tits.
Mouth gaping open, spit pooling onto the pillow below, drooling over his cock, God, you could cry from just how fucking good it feels. Pussy spasming wildly around him, the more you think about the fact that heâs fucking you, the more worked up you get. Insides flipping at how he seems to touch the most perfect spots inside you, full of butterflies and him.
His mouth by your ear shocks you, his voice chirpy, âWhat are you â hah â thinking about, pretty?â
âA-about how gooâ good it feels, feelsâ ohhâ feels so good, Sugu,â your words are slurred, mind reeling at how he doesnât even seem to slow his pace.
âFlatterer,â he barks out a laugh, âYouâre quite the little charmer,â he mockingly compliments, tongue licking meanly at your salty tears that you hadnât realised youâd shed.
âShhâ shut upâ ah!â gasping when he gives a particularly mean thrust into you.
He canât help but smile at the fucked out look youâre wearing, eyes rolled back, dazed and not comprehending anything other than his dick rubbing up against your walls so perfectly. Your face turns into the pillow and you bite at it, muscles pulling tight as another orgasm crawls up your spine.
It shocks you, how quickly you cum, Suguruâs harsh thrusts, your  ass burning with the smack of his pelvis against you. The sting biting at your flesh making you feel like youâre on fire, cunt tight around him and orgasm overcoming you so fast that you donât have time to prepare for it.
And maybe if he hadnât been caught up in how deliciously you squeeze around him, heâd have time to realise you were coming again and he could stop himself but when you shock the both of you with your sudden orgasm he whines into your back and cums deep inside you. Shivers running down his spine at how it feels, dumping so much deep inside you that the force of his continued thrusts has some of it leaking from you back onto him and down onto the bed, making the obscenest mess heâs ever seen.
Immediately heâs pulling himself back up to see how heâs coated your walls white, his dick covered in your shared cum, creamy and lewd and heâs not even going soft because how could he when youâre still wrapped so warmly around him and when youâre so fucking gooey and snug. He might die before heâs done fucking you yet and he canât even find it in himself to care even a little bit.
Youâre not capable of forming words together enough to think of making a sentence, only thing coming from you being your garbled, choked moans and the sounds of your plushy cunt struggling to take him and all his cum. Pussy bulging with the weight of his cock and the mass amounts of seed heâs just pumped you full of.
His own eyes are lidded and low, pussy drunk and loving every second of it, âSo turned on you couldnât even warn me before you came,â he bites out.
His hand rounds your body and his fingers land on your clit, the overstimulation too much, one of your own hands moving down to try and pry it away, managing to squeak out, âT-too muchâ ah! Too much, Sugu.â
Tone light when his harsh words are mumbled back at you, âIf itâs too much, then why â hnn â why are you fucking back onto me like such a slut?â
Heâs so mean, so mean to you while he fucks you so⌠meanly. Head whirling over how he speaks to you, not even able to think long before he slaps your clit harshly and your knees buckle, falling into the mattress under him. His dick slipping from you as you collapse into the mattress.
Geto doesnât pick you back up straight away, oh no, because youâre leaking all of his cum out of your little hole onto the bed and he canât take his eyes off of how much cum he managed to get inside you. Itâs you who picks your hips up lazily, presenting yourself for him.
He chuckles at your loyalty to his cock, but he also canât help the way the sight makes him twitch. Shoving his dick into you again, feral in his pursuit to fuck you, to fuck you full of more of his cum.
âS-so devotedâ hnnnâ doing suchÂâ hahâ a good job for me, pretty,â he slurs.
You feel like you might pass out, so lightheaded but meeting each and every one of his thrusts all the same. An arm wrapping around your front pulls your back to his chest, both his hands landing on your tits, fingers pinching and rolling your nipples, making your pussy shudder around him.
You want to fuck your hips back recklessly but not able to with this angle, only able to arch further and give shallow grinds while he fucks his hips into you. He plants kisses and bites along your neck, nipping your skin hard enough that you twitch and whine each time he does it.
One hand leaves your tit and trails down your front, going for your cunt, spreading wide around where heâs stuffing you full continuously. Getting an absolute mess all over his hand and fingers, only to shove those fingers into your mouth, leaving you to lick him clean. Crammed full by his dick and fingers at once, convulsing around him at the thought of it, at the reality of it.
âYou like being stuffed full, huh?â He muses to you, an evil kind of joy in his tone. You donât get to choose your own response, heâs already using the fingers he has in your mouth to nod your head yes, âAh, thought so.â
Pulling his fingers from your mouth slowly to watch how you suck on them as he does, before heâs wiping all your spit down your chest to your tummy. And then he has another hand on the back of your neck and is pushing you down into the pillows again, this time he keeps his hand there while he fucks into you diabolically.
Somehow faster than before, relentless, reaching his own end and wanting you to cum all over him at least once more. Head dipping back as he groans out, thrusts harsh and calculated, hitting all the spots heâs just learnt about, having memorised just how to make you fucking squirm for him.
Which he succeeds in, if he didnât have the hand on the back of your neck, you wouldâve crawled up the bed to try and get away from his evil thrusts. Poor abused pussy creaming around him for the fourth time, orgasm blinding you, only seeing white spots behind your eyelids.
The sounds he lets out are wrecked and beautiful and have you wishing that you werenât cumming so violently if only to see the way heâs spilling inside you for the second time tonight.
âThatâs itâ fuckâ take itâ taking it so fucking wellâ holy fuckââ every word he utters is breathless and broken, essentially fucking himself stupid too.
Taking a moment for himself to catch his breath before heâs slipping from you and pulling your ass cheeks apart to watch how his cum dribbles from your overfilled cunt. You try to wiggle away but he holds you steady, eyes trained on your dipping hole, overcome with the desire to fuck his tongue inside you but instead settling for shoving two fingers inside, plugging your hole to keep his cum in.
You whine at him, and he can only chuckle and find you incredibly cute in your post orgasm bliss. Barely able to keep your eyes open, let alone speak right now.
He does eventually pull his fingers from you, wiping the mess on your thighs before turning you onto your back. It feels like youâre looking up at an angel as he looks down at you, or maybe the devil, all flush and sweet smiles, too sweet for a man that just fucked you within an inch of your life.
âY-you canât smile at me like that, not after you almost killed me,â you babble back at him.
He rolls his eyes at you, âThere you go overreacting again.â
âYou fuck so mean, Sugu,â you accuse⌠accurately.
A smile grows on his face again, âFeels real good though, doesnât it?â
You weakly slap at him, he just grabs your hand and tugs your body into his kneeling form, hugging you to him. Pressing kisses all over your face, âThink you can stand long enough to shower?â
Shaking your head at him, âNot without fainting.â
âAlright, bath it is,â he concludes.
He takes such nice care of you afterwards, a complete contrast to how he fucked you. Itâs lovely though, the hands that grabbed and pulled at you now delicate as they trace over your skin, washing you clean. Â
You rest with your back to his front in the bath, head laying lazily on his chest, âSo⌠for the sake of clarity, weâre not just friends?â
His lips tickle against the tip of your ear, âI can fuck you all over again if you need more proof?â
âI fear you might actually kill me.â
âThen I guess youâll just have to take my word for it,â he presses a single kiss against your cheek.
In the morning, for the first time ever, he makes you breakfast, to make up for all the marks heâs littered your body with. He also officially asks you on a date, which you pretend to think really hard about even though youâd already decided you were going to say yes.
In the end, being friends with Geto Suguru wasnât hard⌠itâs just not what you both wanted.
đ/đ: this was a while in the making and the vibes of it changed so many times throughout đ it was supposed to be situationship but i fear i'm not well versed enough in what exactly one is to write about it properly.... anyways ! i hope you enjoyed regardless and thank you for reading !!! <3
[â ď¸] â đđđđđđđ: do not reupload / repost / translate / plagiarise my works Š all works are the intellectual property of unheavenlyvision
#this is exactly what iâm manifesting this is what i need#this dynamic is Everything to me đđđđđđđ
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i think your love would be too much ; satoru gojo
summary; satoru knows that youâre worried about something. he just doesnât know what.
word count; 4.1k
contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, sickening amounts of fluff, (thatâs literally all. thatâs it. thank you for your time), youâre both down horrendous, the âsomethingâ reader is worried about is very very silly <333, mostly satoruâs pov!!
a/n; i love this man so fucking much my chest hurts so i dug up the sappiest wip i could find in my drafts <333 you can tell i completely lost the plot halfway through but just pretend that i didnât ok. i dedicate this to gojo nation :3

satoru feels your stare prickle at the back of his neck.
heâs rummaging through the fridge, one hand on his hip, grabbing two cans of iced tea from the bottom compartment. peach for him, lime for you. his infinity is down, the pads of his fingers meeting chilled aluminum, condensation licking at his skin.
but the goosebumps that sensation causes is nothing compared to the ones he gets from this â your stare digging into the back of his head, your attention aimed directly at him. when he turns around, closing the fridge with a bump of his hipbone, you freeze. like a deer caught in headlights.Â
satoru grins.
âyou checkinâ me out?â
âno,â you blurt, and his smile only grows.
âawâŚâ he waltzes across the room, from the kitchen island to the living room, fuzzy socks against the floorboards. âwhatâs up, then? something on your mind?â
with a clink, he puts the cans of tea down on the coffee table. you murmur out a breath of thanks, but make no move to reach for either of them.
now that heâs close enough to see you properly â he thinks to himself that you do look a little ill at ease. something in the crease between your brows, shying away from the eye contact he wants. something in the way your voice comes out somewhat strained.
âitâs nothing⌠i just ââÂ
you stop. gaze fleeing from his own, slipping down to your lap. he thinks you look particularly small like this. curled up on his expensive couch, curling in on yourself; gnawing at your bottom lip.
â⌠iâm being dumb.â
he hums. tilting his head, taking you in â wasting no more than a mere moment before taking action.Â
you feel him plop down next to you, a shift in the weight bearing down on his couch. comforting. when you glance up, heâs smiling, patient and light. hand sneakily slipping between the cracks of your own, squeezing your palm, running his thumb over the ridges of your knuckle.
âwanna tell me about it?â
from behind the black layer of glass obscuring your frame, satoru watches you intently. watches your expression shift, drinking in the twitch of your brows, how the colour of your eyes flickers in the light. the way your soul sulks and sputters under the weight of his all-seeing gaze.Â
you part your lips. slowly, searching for the right words â only to close them again.
you try once more. hesitant.Â
all you can manage is a frustrated huff.
âitâs nothing, honestly,â youâre quick to backtrack, wincing inwardly. âi've just⌠been thinking. i guess.â
a hum. his smile doesnât waver. âabout what?â
you avert your gaze. biting your lip, again, turning away from him; resting your chin on the heel of your palm. avoiding his stare like it could turn you to stone. he barely picks up on the words you murmur, flowing out beneath your breath.
âi... can't tell you.â
satoru raises a brow.Â
a moment passes. two, three â the silence is telling. you can hear the discontentment in his voice, despite his attempts to mask it.
âwhy not?â
âi⌠haah.â you scoot away, just a little more, turning away so he canât dissect your expression the way heâd like to. âi just canât, okay?â
silently, silently, he observes you. the little of you he can see, at the very least; fixating on the side of your face, your cheek, those fluttering eyelashes. as if it could tell him something. you canât see the way his eyes narrow, behind his shades, black glass shielding you from the weight of his scrutiny.
satoru bites back a huff.Â
curiosity and impatience aside, he feels offended. thoroughly so. he doesn't like it when you shut him out, like this, when you donât allow him to soothe you.
your relationship has been a slow one â steady, a kind of settling in that he never thought heâd experience. calm waves lapping along the edges of smooth sand, washing away tiny pebbles and handfuls of sea glass; delicately coming closer. getting him used to the sensation before gently urging him to take a dip.Â
thatâs the kind of love you share.Â
so it stings, a little, when you wonât let him return the favour. it stings in the same way his phantom scars itch on cold nights.
he knows opening up isn't easy. for you, for anyone, least of all for him â but he still finds himself feeling a little bit dejected. because he's supposed to be your safe space. the person you can trust with absolutely anything.
(if he canât be that, for you, then what the hell is he even good for?)
he canât help but feel the slightest tug of worry, too. seeing the tight line of your closed lips, that hardness of your expression. the unmistakable stress accumulating in the corners of your eyes.
but he doesnât voice that worry. he simply gives your hand another squeeze, and smiles a little wider. âtry me.â
a sigh flows from your lips.Â
âyou don't get it, satoru.â
your voice has a bite to it, now, just a little harsh. something akin to a soft hiss â defensiveness, he ultimately settles on. but why?
âitâs ââ you muster up a glance his way, the slightest little peek, before turning away again. blurting out the words on the tip of your tongue. âitâs so fucking embarrassing. youâll laugh.â
satoru blinks.
â⌠huh?â
âyouâll laugh, and you'll tease me, and â â he feels your hand slip from his own, muffling a groan as it covers your face. âiâll never live it down.â
youâre hiding, squirming, and satoruâs curiosity increases at an alarming rate. he leans forward, trying to catch a glimpse of your face, but you donât let him.Â
now heâs nothing short of intrigued.
âi won't,â he says, simply. voice as clear as glass. you scoff into your hands.
âyou will!â
âi promise you i won't laugh.â
âyou always say that.â a sigh falls from your lips, deep and heavy, as your hands finally slip down to your lap. âbut you never mean it. youâll laugh so much. i know you will.â
you bite down on your lip. he wants to cup your jaw and kiss you, mend the bruising with a swipe of his tongue â but he tactfully decides against it.
âitâs â it's soâŚâ you trail off, fidgeting with your hands, nervously linking your fingers together. gazing down with a pout. âso stupid.âÂ
âbabyâŚâ his voice takes on a fond tone, tender and patient. everything he strives to be, when it comes to you; you and you alone. âcâmon. you can tell me anything.âÂ
with a sense of delicacy, he takes your hands into his bigger ones. tucking them into his palms, bringing them into his own lap â meeting your meek eyes.Â
âright?â
through the blue of his gaze, he watches you falter. watches your eyes soften, crumbling a little, as you silently weigh your options. you look flustered.
then you slowly part your lips.
âyouâre gonna think iâm just joking, or whatever, but â but i mean it. iâmâŚâ your throat bobs with a shallow gulp. âiâm seriously worried.âÂ
satoru nods. âiâll take you seriously.â
you look up. all youâre met with is a reassuring smile, familiar dimples, the slightest hint of a kind blue behind his shades.
and you finally give in.
âi⌠i think i might ââ
shifting and squirming, your gaze flits from spot to spot, hands still intertwined with his own. youâre caged in, forced to face him, and it only adds to your nervosity. his eyes never leave your face.
âi think⌠iâŚâ
your voice comes out sounding tiny. gaze stuck to the couch beneath you, as your lips form around the right syllables, and you finally blurt out out the words you've been trying to keep at bay â
âi think i love you too much.â
âŚ
silence.
you still refuse to meet his gaze. a red hue crawls up your neck, spreading to the tips of your ears, heartbeat pounding under your ribs. the sentence spills out of your lips like an arrow; so rushed he barely deciphers it in time.
before the silence can swallow you whole, you continue. trying not to stammer, holding back an embarrassed wince. pouting softly, brows furrowed as your clammy hands twitch anxiously against his own. âlike... to the point where⌠it isn't normal.â
and then you wait. with bated breath, too embarrassed to look up, bottom lip tensing and softening between your teeth. dreading the explosive reaction heâll undoubtedly give you.
⌠except it doesnât come.
heâs not saying a word. nothing. the silence is so deafening you could cut it in half, lingering, festering in the air around you. all you hear is your own stupid, erratic little heartbeat â refusing to settle down.Â
a couple painful moments pass, before you physically can't take it anymore.
as slowly as you can muster, your gaze travels upwards â from his lap to his chest to his exposed collarbone, until his face finally enters your field of vision. you canât resist the temptation.
(why is he being so quiet? satoru is never quiet.)
you meet his gaze. or what you think is his gaze, anyhow, because you canât see the way his eyes are squeezed shut. what you do notice is the twitch of his lips, quivering ever so slightly, as if unsure of which direction to go â and you know one of satoruâs sharp teeth must be biting down hard to keep them in place. his shoulders are shaking, only barely, and he breathes out sharply through his nose; in a desperate attempt to keep his promise.
desperately struggling to maintain his composure.Â
he makes the mistake of opening his eyes, and all that effort goes down the drain. met with the sight of your flushed face, wide eyes, shining with embarrassment and disbelief.Â
like a stack of cards blown over by the wind, satoruâs poker face crumbles. he fails to bite back the wide grin that breaks out across his lips, showing off the white of his teeth, and a soft bout of fresh laughter flows from out his lips.
you gape at him.Â
then your brows furrow, harshly, and you choke on a scoff. with a start, youâre scrambling to stand up, tugging your hands away from his.Â
âsee?â you hiss, almost tripping over your own two feet as you shoot up from the couch. âi told you! you're laughing!â
you sound so embarrassed he thinks he might cry.
satoru gives up. laughter reverberating throughout his entire body, deep and loud, from the very bottom of his gut â enough to have him clutching at his sides. that only makes you flush deeper, glare harder, and all he can think is that he wants to kiss you silly.
âyou promised!â
âiâm ââ he chokes on a sharp wheeze, one hand reaching out to keep you from leaving. âiâm sorry, baby, i ââ
but he only ends up doubling over. sputtering with laughter, feeling the leather of the couch meet his cheek. you turn away sharply, and he pulls himself up again. âwait â sweetheart ââÂ
a fond chuckle rumbles through his chest, his long arms circling around your waist and pulling you into his embrace. caging you in. you struggle helplessly, trying desperately to break free, but itâs useless â heâs the strongest for a reason.
all you can do is writhe and grumble under your breath, inhaling a familiar scent of vanilla and musk. the fabric softener he uses puts your senses hopelessly at ease, but heâs still laughing â so you canât help but kick and struggle seamlessly.
âlet me go, satoru!â
said man chokes on another little laugh, shoulders shaking, tucking you so close he can feel the pitter patter of your heartbeat against his stomach. youâre so upset with him. but he canât stop, can't reel it back in, and every weak punch to his chest and muffled protest just makes his composure feel more out of reach. he tried his best.Â
he really, really did.Â
he tried so hard not to laugh.
(âi think i love you too much.â)
god. just what is he supposed to do with you, huh?
âiâm sorry,â he grins, almost entirely out of breath. ââm not doing it on purpose, you're just ââÂ
a sudden fit of giggles.Â
"you're so cute.â
âsatoru, itâs â not funny,â you whine, practically burning up. every single sound he makes buzzes in your ear. âiâm serious. i ââ
you squeeze your eyes shut. giving in, finally, allowing yourself to melt into his arms. limbs losing their feistiness. he delights in the sensation.
âyou don't get it.â
itâs a whisper, muffled against the fabric of his shirt, but he hears it nonetheless. deep breaths, he reminds himself. itâs hard to take such an adorable confession seriously, but he tries. for whatever reason, you genuinely sound troubled.Â
âwait, so you ââ he bites back an amused breath, but canât hide the palpable smile in his voice. âyou love me⌠too much?â
a groan. you hide away, nuzzling further into his chest; your safe harbour.Â
â⌠i told you it was embarrassing.â
âitâs not,â heâs quick to console you. âiâm just confused.â his palm glides across the back of your head, smoothing down your tousled hair, a grounding weight. he pats your head softly. âi meanâŚâÂ
a deep inhale. his heartbeat finally settles into a calm rhythm, slow and steady, lungs flooding with oxygen. he breathes out through his nose.
âis that really such a bad thing?â
âit is.â a frown finds its way onto your lips. your reply is instantaneous. âi donât think itâs normal. iâm justâŚâ
satoru listens. patiently, feeling your fingers grip onto the edges of his shirt â comforting yourself with the soft fabric. then you sigh.
âi donât know. i just canât, likeâŚâ you grapple for the right word, moving your hands haphazardly, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. âcomprehend how much i love you.â
satoru bites back a smile.Â
(his heart flutters, flutters, flutters, like cherry blossoms on a windy spring morning.)
before he has the chance to, you part your lips again; speaking in a soft voice. resigned, he thinks. âitâs just weird. itâs not exactly bad, but ââÂ
you bite down on your lip.Â
â... itâs scary.â
a soft coo buzzes in your ear. satoru canât help but pull you closer, closer still, smothering you in the warmth of his embrace. conveying what he knows will be too much for you to hear in words â what he knows he couldnât convey in the language that you speak. you feel warm, still burning up a bit. like a little firefly.Â
he isnât faring much better, though; a vague heat blooming under the skin of his nape. smiling so wide his cheeks are starting to hurt.
(what on earth did he do to deserve you?)
a firm jaw settles on the top of your head. satoru parts his glossy lips, voice flowing out somewhat breathlessly, affectionate as can be.Â
âdonât you think i feel exactly the same about you?â
his pulse trembles against you. when you strain your ears, you can hear the rhythmic thumping of his heartbeat, mingling with your own; still resounding in your ears.Â
â⌠i dunno.â
satoruâs hold around you tightens, ever so slightly. something in the way he cradles you, strong arms around your waist, a low hum accompanying the light squeeze of his limbs. he canât see your face, from this angle, but his pupils still flicker downwards â hungry for a glimpse of your expression.
then he smiles.Â
âiâm terrified of you, yâknow?â
you blink. once, then twice, eyelids fluttering. a moment of silence passes.
â⌠huh?â
âbeyond terrified, actually,â his smile builds into a grin. âiâm getting goosebumps just thinking about it. no one scares me more than you do.â
satoru pulls away, just a little, just enough to finally get a good look at you. your eyes are brimming with confusion. a large palm goes to cradle your cheek, and he tilts his head â inhaling a breath.
âi love you so much that it hurts.â
âŚ
a soft chuckle slips from out his lips, when he catches your flustered, wide-eyed stare. sneaking a hand towards the small of your back, leaning in to press a kiss against the apple of your cheek.
âi adore you,â he whispers, smooth syllables melting into a purr. you stiffen under his touch. his fingertips trace the lines of your jaw, lips trailing down to your neck, chaste and sweet as he nips at the sensitive skin. muttering under his breath. âyou have no idea.â
and you truly, truly don't. satoru doesn't think you even know the half of it.Â
you canât possibly know what you mean to him â that your very presence makes him forget who he is, what he has to be, a weight on his shoulders he grew used to long ago. you canât possibly know that just the feeling of your hand in his makes the distance between you feel so inconsequential.Â
you are the most precious thing in his life. he doesn't think you could ever understand the weight that sentiment carries â he wouldn't want you to.Â
and here you are, so awfully worried, because you're too in love with him. he still can't help but grin. youâre so sweet, so silly. the words make him feel as if his heart is crumbling.
â⌠i can't believe youâre real sometimes.â
something tender rests under the whisper. something frighteningly sincere. it makes you feel a little like youâve been sliced open. itâs raw, itâs heavy and light and itâs love. itâs satoru â all his little inconsistencies, and the stability beneath it all.Â
and some part of you knows that he's telling the truth. that he understands your ridiculous little confession, your embarrassing worries. satoru understands.Â
that alone is enough to quell the turmoil in your chest.Â
(what he gives you is a love as boundless as the sky; one that covers everything you could ever be. unconditional.)
âso thereâs no need to worry.âÂ
he pulls back, lips leaving your skin. you still feel their warmth linger. his shades have slipped down, barely hanging on to the bridge of his nose, and you can see the blue of his eyes. theyâre shining like jewels, soft around the edges. consumed by love.
âthereâs no way you could ever love me as much as i love you.â
gazing into his eyes, as if hypnotized by their glow, your own gleam with a mesmerizing shine. glazed over with something sweet and wonderful, something satoru wants to burn into his retinas so he never forgets it. he wishes he could wring it out of you and put it in his pocket â but it looks prettier behind your cornea.
he savours the moment, slowly, until it abruptly ends.
with a second of pause, your brows draw together, forming into an irritated furrow. lips tugging downwards into a frown. âthatâs not true.â
satoru blinks. still smiling.Â
âi love you way more,â you huff. petulant, almost, something soft and amused in your tone. he thinks the sound fits you more than anything; unburdened and stubborn.
(as charming as you are, though â this is one battle he refuses to lose.)
ânu-uh,â he pokes the tip of your nose, delighting in the soft flutter of your blinking eyelashes. âi love you more. sorry, sweetie.â
a huff. âyou don't.â
âi do.â
âyou don't."
this time, you're the one reaching out, the pad of your finger landing on the tip of satoruâs nose â teasingly trailing up to the bridge of it. his heartbeat stutters, but he feigns nonchalance, raising an unimpressed brow; eyes unknowingly gleaming with mirth.Â
and mischief.
you barely have time to react. one moment you're seated on satoruâs lap, the next you're looking up at him with your back against the couch. he towers over you, keeping your hands pinned above your head with a single palm.Â
a familiar chill runs down your spine.
âi do,â he grins, free hand reaching towards you. recognizing the danger of a situation you've been in more times than you can count, you try to squirm away â but you don't get very far.
satoruâs fingers ghost over your sides, and panic floods your wide eyes.Â
even though you know exactly whatâs about to happen, a yelp pushes past your lips when he begins to tickle you. mercilessly, fingers trailing over your most sensitive spots. all you can do is squirm, trying your damnedest to bite back the bout of laughter crawling up your throat â
but apparently neither of you are very good at that.
when the familiar cling of your laughter finally spills past your lips, flowing into satoruâs ears, his smile blooms into a grin. big and happy, childish in its innocence â not even attempting to hide his joy. his own giggles melt into your soft wheezes and desperate pleas, as you struggle to break free, straining against the firm hold he has on your wrists.
âi love you way, way, way more,â he continues to tease, halting his movement just enough to let you catch your breath. âitâs not even close.â
even as giggles breathlessly spill from your lips, you manage a shake of your head. âno, you ââ
âwrong answer.â
he cuts you off with a smirk, and the torture starts anew. you can't get the words out, caught in your throat and muffled by a loud squeak, followed by forced laughter. satoru watches, in pure adoration, waiting for the moment you finally relent.Â
it doesnât take long.
âf â fine, fine!â
he stills. eyes crinkled, shades barely hanging on to the bridge of his nose, fighting the urge to keep going. if only so he can hear your melodic giggles.
âcanât we ââ you struggle to catch your breath, words stuck between bouts of leftover laughter. cheeks flushed and chest heaving. âjust call it a tie?â
satoru pauses. he drags it out, exaggerated, building up suspense. eyes narrowing playfully. âhmmmâŚâÂ
then he smiles. a soft, resigned little thing.Â
âalright, alright.â he leans forward, keeping you in place. âthat works, i guess.â
his lips meet yours. soft and glossy, tasting of cherries, exhaling a pleased sigh against your mouth. youâre still panting a little, but he doesnât seem to mind. slow to pull away, with a drawn out mwah, grinning boyishly down at your disheveled state. he lets your wrists go free.
an unimpressed look is all you give him, quick to melt into a soft chuckle.Â
âwell, thatâs that.â you push yourself up with your elbows, fixing your tousled hair. ânow we can forget this ever happened.â
satoru raises a brow.Â
âoh, i dunno about that,â he purrs, voice ripe with mischief. a teasing glint flashes in his eyes, as he scrutinizes you, and itâs enough to have your face heating up again. the sight makes him coo. âyou love me so much you can't comprehend it, huh?â
you blink. it takes a moment for your expression to shift, from bafflement to embarrassment â but he thinks itâs all worth it when it does. barely restraining the urge to kiss you again.
âsatoruâŚâ
a giggle leaves his lips. reaching a hand out, he pinches your cheek. âyouâre cute.â
with a roll of your eyes, you swat him away; unable to bite back a smile. âquit it.â
âaw.â
he looks so smug. you canât help but want to bite back, somehow â so you muster up your most shit-eating grin, a distinctly teasing lilt coating your sugar-sweet voice.Â
âyou love me so much that it hurts, huh?â
satoru blinks.
endearment blooms, in the depths of his cerulean eyes. he watches you carefully, awfully amused â thinking to himself that he must be rubbing off on you. what a scary thought.
âyeah,â he breathes, a sigh laced with sincerity. cupping your cheek with the palm of his hand, settling on the option he knows will fluster you most. âi do.â
this time, youâre the one who blinks. once, twice, before letting out a groan â slumping against his broad frame. satoru chuckles, breathlessly, consumed by you; by every move you make. all six of his eyes aimed directly at you.
(if he gives you the sky, then what you give him is a love as steady as the ocean; one thatâll drown every bit of his sadness. unyielding.)
âcanât you ever just let me win?â you mutter, breathing in his cologne and tugging at his shirt. pressed up against him, on his couch, safe and secure. right where you should be.
he noses at your neck, pressing a little kiss against your pulsepoint. a quiet, quiet offering at the altar of your soul. ânope,â he hums, smiling cheekily.Â
âi love you too much for that.â
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