zoomzoomcarsstuff - Tumblr blog

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

We're All We Need Today

Hey, long time no story! I'm back with this, something I had the idea for a long time ago but it was low on my list of favourites. Then I re-jigged it and re-worked it and now it's done! Everybody's favourite trope, or mine at least, angst to fluff. It's been a while since I last posted and I find myself riddled with nerves about posting stories again now, so (and I never do this because I cringe at myself) if you do like this story, please let me know in whatever way suits you because I'm seriously struggling with writer's anxiety right now and I don't have the foggiest idea how to get out of it😅

It should have been just a normal Tuesday. A normal evening on a random day mid-week in May. Training for you both that ended just after lunchtime, before meeting up at Alexia's apartment early evening after the pair of you attended meetings or completed other pieces of work. That all went smoothly, it was perfectly fine.

Alexia shouldn't have looked at your phone without your permission though. She shouldn't have looked at your messages in the first place, nevermind doing it behind your back.

"I cannot believe you told your friends and did not tell me first!" Alexia shouted at you as soon as you walked out of the bathroom, your phone opened onto your friend groupchat in her hand.

"What? Alexia, what are you doing? Are you looking through my phone?" You cried out, marching over to snatch it back, but she holds it in the air out of your reach like a high school bully. "What the hell do you think you're doing!?"

"You told your friends without conferring with me first. You went behind my back and you know I didn't want anyone knowing!"

"You've gone behind my back too, looking through my phone! Why did you do that?" You jumped and grabbed your phone, confirming exactly what you thought.

She had gone through your phone whilst you were out the room, had clicked onto a chat with your closest friends who you trusted more than almost everyone in your life, and she had read just one message that said 'What does your weekend look like in sunny Barcelona? Any plans with A?'

"No, no. You aren't flipping this around. You swore to me-" She jabbed her finger harshly against your chest as she spoke. "-that you would not tell anyone until I said you could."

Is she for real right now? Who are you even talking to?

This is not the woman you fell in love with almost seven months ago. This is not the woman who used her captaincy as an excuse to get your number. This is not the woman who asked to be your girlfriend in such a shy and awkward manner as she stumbled over her words whilst eating dinner with you on her sofa. This definitely isn't the woman who cares for you how no one else has, nor is this the woman who loves you infinitely and shows it in ways you never could have thought possible.

This is a selfish, egotistical, self-centred, and downright cold-hearted person you do not recognise. The version of Alexia in front of you here is one you thought you'd never, ever encounter. Yet, look at the situation now.

"So, what, I have to run everything by you? I can't tell my closest friends possibly the biggest detail in my life? I can't tell them I'm in love and happier than ever?"

"No. Not now. We promised we wouldn't tell anyone, and you have betrayed me." Alexia huffed angrily, her hands on her hips as she turned away from you.

"I wanted to share this part of my li- you, with them! And, Ale, you've told Alba and Eli, why can't I tell my friends?" You moved to stand in front of her so you're facing her again, and she fixed you a disapproving glare with a jut to her jaw.

"Friends are different to family - I've never met these people! What are their intentions? I don't know, and I don't want them knowing private facts about me. That is why I'm mad." Alexia gritted her teeth as she spoke, fury swimming through her veins as her hands gripped her own hips so tightly you were sure there'd be bruises the next time she looked.

"What are you even saying? Do you hear yourself right now?" You scoffed, your anger almost tripling when the woman in front of you chuckled.

"Trust me, I hear myself. I also hear you denying everything, denying the fact you've outed our relationship, denying the fact you've broke my trust. Betrayed the one thing I asked you to promise not to do. Maybe you're the one who needs their ears checking, remember when I said 'let's wait some time to tell people.' Maybe you misheard me and thought I said 'how about we tell every fucking person in the city?' So yes, I hear myself. Very clearly, you don't have to worry about that."

You stared, glared, at her for a few moments, gobsmacked at the turn of events whilst also trying not to burst into tears. This is a situation you never thought would occur between you both, and the vile way she spoke to you paired with her foul accusations had you slipping on your shoes and leaving her apartment. And, possibly the worst part of it all? She didn't even try to stop you.

Why was it always about her, about what she wants, always on her terms?

What about your opinion? She didn't care to hear you out, and it sounds like she doesn't give two flying fucks what you've got to say. Alexia Putellas and her dense head coming into play again, only caring about herself and her legacy and what people say about her. You'd think that as someone who, to the public, seems so very secure and content in her position as the best women's player still in the game, that she wouldn't be so worrisome and out-right vile if there was a chance something wasn't going her way.

No, she wasn't like that with you at least, not at all. You hadn't been together long, but the secrecy and, what you inferred now as shame, seeped into your mind and with each step as you walked home that day, you grew more and more, not only utterly infuriated, but overwhelmingly perturbed at the prospect of just... everything.

Perhaps your whole relationship had merely been a fluke. Something Alexia didn't take serious in the slightest, and nowhere near serious enough for you to tell people about it. Maybe, at the end of the day, you were too much for her to deal with, and the only way the Catalan could cope was by keeping you behind closed doors. The theories your mind was coming up made you sick to the pit of your stomach, and it was a miracle that you made it to the bathroom of your apartment by the time you were emptying the contents of your body.

There was some kind of higher power watching over you, because this whole fiasco had occurred when there were two days off afterwards. It was coming up to the tail end of the season, and as the latter half of the month was jam-packed with tense games, you had planned to make the most of the time off. With a few social events scattered across the two days, you had been greatly looking forward to spending time with your teammates outside of the pitch, your friends, and at the time most importantly, Alexia. That all didn't seem enticing anymore, nor did it even seem possible.

For the time being though, as you stumbled your way out of the bathroom and fell into bed, the breakfast catch-ups and evening dinners were the last things on your mind. The only way you wanted to spend your time off, was wallowing in a trench of self-pity.

And that's how you found yourself in the gym of your apartment complex some fourty hours later.

Jab, jab, hook. Jab, jab, hook. Right hook, then a left uppercut, and another right hook to follow.

Punch after punch after punch after punch. There was no stopping you in this mindset. Not with the things your head was chanting, Alexia's words circling endlessly around your mind. They were what fuelled you right now, allowing you to lay into the punching bag before you with no second thought to the consequences.

And those consequences were sure to bring you a lot of pain later, in your hands that weren't wrapped up like they should, nevermind wearing gloves.

There was music playing through the earphones you had in, but for the life of you, you couldn't even register it right now. Your vision was blurred by pure rage, failing to recognise the cuts forming with every unrestrained punch and the bruises beginning to form along the bumps of each knuckle. You had tunnel vision on one thing and one thing only, and that was trying to dispel yourself of the all-consuming anger that had plagued you for almost two days now.

"Amiga! Basta, basta, hey." A soft voice broke through your trance as your earphones were delicately tugged from your ears. "Hey, you hear me?"

As your hands were gently taken ahold of by the figure to your right, you took a deep breath and leaned forward to rest your forehead against the bag. It was now that the woman beside you realised just how poor your breathing was, and she brought one of her hands to rub caringly up and down your back.

"Más despacio, relájate. Tómatelo con calma, vale? Relájate." Her voice soothed you a little, giving you the peace of mind you needed to set your breathing back to normal. "Are you with me?"

At that, you nod and take some more breaths before leaning up and taking in the person beside you. It was Mariona, who you shared the same apartment complex with, a fact you had forgotten about. In this moment, you weren't sure if you were thankful for that fact or if you resented it.

"Yes, with you." You wiped your face on the sleeve of your shirt before properly looking at her.

"Are you okay?" Mariona knew it probably wasn't the wisest thing to say, but for the moment as she collected her thoughts and did an internal assessment of the situation, it was more of a buffer than anything.

"Um, I guess there's no point lying, is there." You state flatly, the Spaniard smiling sadly at you and shaking her head. "Things aren't great... right now, so."

"Okay. That's okay." Mariona's smile was perhaps the brightest thing you'd seen, and with her looking at you the way she was, with so much care and a major lack of judgement, it was hard to reject the help she was soon to offer.

"Will you let me take care of you? I have a first aid kit in my apartment that I can use for these." She gestured down to your bruised and battered hands that were growing more painful by the second. "We can talk if you want, or you can at least let me patch you up and I can call somebody else. It's up to you."

You thought you knew what you wanted, and it wasn't this, but now that the offer is glaringly right in your face, your inner monologue urged you to fall to your knees and beg for assistance, for someone to scoop up all the negativity in your mind and lift the weight of it from your shoulders.

Isolating yourself from everyone, as you had done in the last days, wasn't healthy in the slightest, and rationally you knew the excuses you gave for doing so were completely unwarranted. Yes, you were the newest signing, and yes, Alexia was the captain and the glue of the team. However, that did not lessen your worth, you still deserved your spot on the team and you deserved to be treated with humanity. As Mariona had shown in the span of a few moments, your teammates wouldn't pick sides depending on how long you had and hadn't known people, and they certainly wouldn't treat you any less just because you had fallen out with - foregoing her team title - your girlfriend.

You were only human after all.

"I would appreciate that, thank you, Mariona."

Once more, the forward smiled politely at you and nodded, moving to wait at the door to the gym to wait for you as you collected up your things. Each movement of your hands had you grimacing in discomfort, a fact not lost on Mariona as she took the items, like your water bottle and your jumper, from you just to take the edge off a little.

You weren't too close with Mariona, you had gravitated towards the likes of Ingrid and Fridolina and Aitana when you joined (and Alexia, of course), but at the end of the day she was still your teammate and you often found yourself in a group with her in training since you were also a forward. The 28 year old was a hard-worker, yet she was also one of the most laid-back people you'd ever met, so in her presence it was hard not to allow yourself to relax even just a tiny bit. The aura that radiated off of her was oddly settling, and as you both made your way up to her apartment in relative silence, you were offered your first slice of serenity since that day not too long ago.

"Would you like a shower first? You look like you worked yourself hard in there." Mariona offered as she closed the door of her apartment behind you.

"No, it's okay, thanks." You gave her an awkward, tight-lipped smile, feeling somewhat embarrassed at having been caught in such a vulnerable moment - a moment when you were filled with such rage and negativity, that all you could do was lay into a harmless object like a woman possessed.

"Alright. Sit down at the counter, I will get all I need and be with you in a second."

With a sheepish nod, you complied and sat at the island counter in the kitchen, taking a moment to compose yourself before you knew an emotionally charged conversation was about to take place. You were tempted to take Mariona up on her offer to call somebody else, but honestly you were already exhausted and just wanted to get this whole situation off of your chest.

You'd been lugging it around for days now, encumbered by the weight of anger that, as time went on, was bleeding into exasperation and disconcertion because, in all honesty, you just wanted your girlfriend back. That was a little difficult though, because the woman in question was still being as cold as ever and for the life of you, you couldn't get a good read on her to figure out what her stand was on it all now. Whether she'd confided in Mapi or Irene or her sister or even Mariona, you had no idea, you just hoped there was still an ounce of her that cared for you in just a sliver of the way you did for her.

Though you hadn't seen or heard from her since that evening, her actions and her words were still fresh on your mind, and no matter how much time you spent mentally going through each doing of hers, it all made zero sense. In no way shape or form had Alexia portrayed such viciousness towards you, nor had she ever been so horrible and completely unfair in the time you had known her. Maybe it was a case of only knowing her for a short-ish amount of time, but her behaviour seemed so out of character that it set a feeling of uneasiness in your chest.

Hopefully, bumping into Mariona, someone who had been good friends with Alexia for a long time, would give you some insight into why the Barcelona captain had acted in such ways.

"Here we go. I'm sorry if I hurt you, but it is unfortunately a necessary evil in this case." Mariona purses her lips forgivingly as she pulls out two alcohol wipes that already have you wincing at the thought. "Are you ready?"

"Yep, just get it done with. Please."

You hold your breath as she rips open one of the packets, then you watch on as she takes hold of your left hand first and lightly runs it over and in between each knuckle. It hurts a hell of a lot, sure it does, but with the tenderness that the Spaniard treats you with, all you can focus on is trying not to burst into tears at the kindness you're faced with. Your mind has been anything but towards you, and the last proper human interaction you had that had been longer than a few brief minutes was your intense argument with Alexia. So this moment here was overwhelming, in many more ways than one.

"That's one done, your right hand looks a bit worse. Am I okay to carry on?"

Honestly, why couldn't you have fallen for someone like Mariona, instead of the ignorant, hot-headed woman you were in love with?

"Yeah, it's fine."

The silence between you both is weirdly not unsettling or awkward at all, instead it's relatively comforting and for the first time in days, your skin isn't crawling at the fact you're left alone with nothing but the sound of your endless cycle of thoughts.

The Spaniard standing beside you was correct, your right hand was indeed slightly worse off than your left, and that was only made more clear with each brush of the wipe, clearing away the blood only to show cuts in the divots of your knuckles and bruises covering the entirety of the right end of your hand.

"You have a good punch on you, ever thought about boxing instead of football?" Mariona joked, trying to uplift the heavy atmosphere in the room.

"No, wouldn't want to mess up this face." You replied, the forward laughing quietly and nodding.

"You are right, and football is much more easy to watch."

You supplied her with an agreeing smile, trying to hide your discomfort as she moved your hands around to assess the damage and make a plan of action.

"Okay, I think I will apply some antiseptic cream for your cuts and wrap them up with bandages. Then I will give you an ice pack for each hand, does that sound alright?"

"That's perfect, Mariona, thank you." You smile gratefully at her, and thought it's not a genuine smile, you hope she understands the appreciation you hold for her.

"It is not a problem. We look after each other at Barça, sabes? Anything you need, please do not be afraid of reaching out. To any of us."

And there is her segue into striking up the conversation you'd both danced around since she saw you.

You had to give it to her, she let a few moments pass by so it could come across as a bit less obvious, but nevertheless it happened just as you had expected.

"Are you comfortable talking to me about what happened in the gym?" She took note of the hesitation you greeted that question with, so she put the tube of cream down and faced you fully. "That was a bit concerning to walk in on, and I wouldn't be at peace with myself if I let you out of here without checking in on you."

"I... I guess, yeah." You sighed.

"Thank you. How would you like to start?" Mariona wondered with her ever-present smile, pairing it with a nonchalant shrug, further evidence of her care-free nature that continued to draw you in. "You can start talking about what is on your mind, or I can ask some leading questions to help. I am fine with anything, I just want you to leave here feeling a bit better."

Mariona had asked you a few moments ago if you had ever thought about boxing. Now, you wanted to ask her if she'd ever considered being a psychologist.

"I think it would help if you asked some questions, maybe." You decided, and she nodded instantly. She grabbed the tube of cream again and started applying it at the same time she uttered her first query.

"Do you normally practice on the bag without gloves on?" It was a very light one to start off with, perhaps something to be grateful for, but despite feeling a little calmer now, your mind was still in turmoil and wasn't fully recovered yet.

"No, I always wrap them up. I didn't even plan on using the bag today, it just... I was on the treadmill and then I saw it and wanted to use it. I wasn't really thinking straight, so. Yeah. This is the result of that." You took a sharp breath as the forward smoothed over a particularly bad cut with the antiseptic.

"Mhm. And, forgive me for this one, was it your intention to hurt yourself?"

That one took your breath a little.

"No, no, not at all. It wasn't even a thought in my head, I swear, I only wanted to get my anger out." You responded hastily, trying to convince her that you were relatively okay and that this was just a blip, and you didn't need some kind of intervention.

"Okay, thank you for being honest. I'm very glad to hear that, and I'll take your word for it." After finishing with your current hand, she squeezes it comfortingly and moves onto your other one. "Are you willing to tell me what's wrong? Why you needed to get some anger out?"

"Yeah... yeah, I am. I have to give you some context though, and I'd be really grateful if you kept it between us."

Mariona wasn't a gossip by any sorts, but as a result of the months of Alexia's words drilling into you of how nobody can know about you both, it was still an anxiety you had. Yet, the woman looking after you in such a heart-warming way was quite possibly the good samaritan you needed right now, her acts of kindness a reminder to not lose all hope with the world around you. You were well within your right to freak out in the way you had - not only were you in an entirely new city, learning a language you hadn't paid any mind to since school, but rather naively you had probably depended on Alexia more than you should have.

It was a lesson to be learnt, a mistake you wouldn't make again, though in the future even if you didn't recognise it yet, you'd look back on your time so far and wouldn't even regret it that much. After all, every moment of the past ten months had led you to the love of your life, and nothing was ever completely perfect. You would take a few bumps in the road if it meant you could end the season with a few medals around your neck and the greatest woman you'd ever met on your arm. Sure, you might not think the greatest of her right now, but you would mend it. You were sure you would. Hopefully.

"Of course, I won't tell a soul. You can tell me anything and no one will ever hear a word of it." Mariona reasurred you and though you hadn't really doubted her in the first place, you were still beyond grateful to hear that.

"So, um... Alexia and I have been in a relationship for a few months."

Yet again, Mariona continued to surprise you with how marvelous she was. Or maybe it was just an after effect of how much Alexia's words had got to you, because when the islander simply raised her eyebrows for a millisecond before nodding as you revealed your news, you're shocked at how much of a low-key reaction she gave. Whether she had an incredible poker-face or she just didn't care half as much as Alexia thought people would, your body sagged in relief at that minute response. As far as human beings go, this one right here wasn't too bad at all.

"And, for reasons I still don't understand, she was adamant that we keep it a secret. Like it was some kind of war tactic we had to keep safe. She made it out to be a make or break situation for us. But she told Eli and Alba less than a week after we made it all official, which I didn't think much of. I talked to her about it back then, wondering if it was just something she wanted to keep quiet while we were only in the dating stage, but she told me I still couldn't tell anyone. I guess because I was still relatively new here, with not many close friends and still with the mindset of trying to earn my place in the team, I agreed. Then as time went on I got a bit... annoyed with what Alexia wanted, but whenever I brought it up with her she would immediately shut the conversation down. I figured I could do it slyly, without telling her and without telling anyone any kind of intricate details of our relationship. So I took matters into my own hands."

You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose at this point, knowing it was here in the story where things got quite rocky. Mariona had finished applying the antiseptic at this point and was now getting the bandages ready, prepped with the medi-tape beside her to secure her wrapping. With each new fact you unveiled, she nodded along in understanding, completely on the same page with you. She didn't understand the actions of her friend as of yet, wondering why on earth she'd be so intensely secretive about her relationship to the point of not telling a single soul, but those were thoughts she wouldn't voice yet.

Mariona herself was in a private relationship, and she was happier than ever in it. However, it wasn't a secret. Sure, she wasn't posting photos of herself and Lia all over her social media, but if you looked close enough the facts were clearly there. Plus, pretty much everyone in her personal life and Lia's knew about the pair of them, and nobody was fussed. So why Alexia was acting in this way, she didn't have a single idea.

"I told my closest, most trusted friends that I was in a relationship, and that the name of the person I was with began with 'A'. That was genuinely all I gave. I warned them not to nag me with guesses of who it was as that would break my own personal rules, because after all I didn't want to go behind Alexia's back more than I already had. Then... Alexia went through my phone. She saw that my friends were making plans in the group chat back home, and then they wondered if I had plans with 'A' over the weekend."

"She went through your phone?" Mariona questioned, in disbelief at the invasion of privacy you'd experienced.

"Yes, she did. The text flashed up on my lock screen while I went to the bathroom, and then she just went on my phone and looked through my messages. I don't know how in depth she went, but..." You shrugged, averting your gaze to your aching hands, ultimately defeated by now; by Alexia and her stubbornness, by your own mind, and lastly by the fact you had been so suddenly caught out by one of your teammates.

It was at this point that the numbness dispelled and gave way for shame, embarrassment, and a bit of anxiety. After all, you didn't know anyone from the team in depth, you were still just getting to know them, and the first thing you had done when you arrived was dive head first into a relationship with their captain. There was an endless possibility to the vast amount of opinions each person could hold for you and how they felt about your relationship (even though there was almost no way at all they could know about it), and as the silent seconds ticked by, it started eating away at you.

Though, somehow, in some magical, god-given miraculous way, Mariona saw right through you. And from now on, you were to make it your life mission to give back to this messiah in the form of an attacking footballer from the Balearic Islands of Spain.

"Hey." She tapped on the counter in front of you to get your attention, achieving that when you look up at her. "You don't have to... to get defensive with me. I can bet what you're thinking, and you don't have to worry about all those thoughts. I am neutral here, helping a friend. I will not go and tell Alexia or anyone about this, not if you don't want me to. And trust me, I am on your side. I have never heard of her acting like this, I am shocked and slightly outraged too."

That was undeniably relieving to hear, for a number of reasons. But for the most part, you were glad to hear that because for the past few days your mind had been trying its damn hardest to manipulate you into thinking this whole commotion was your fault, that you were the fault-line in the relationship that had caused this rickety earthquake.

No, that was no longer a worry, because here was possibly the human example of sunshine saying she shared your view and was just as displeased as you when it came to the Catalan's behaviour. Now, knowing you had at least one person on your side, this obstacle felt a little easier to climb over.

"I do have one thing I'm wondering." After a curious hum from you, she explained. "Is there anything you would like me to do in this situation? Like, bring it up with Ale? Because for both of your sakes, I want this to be solved in the easiest way possible."

Was it a good idea, judging off of Alexia's already toxic reaction to the point where she refused to hear you out? Most likely, but, not only did you think Mariona could teach her a thing or two when it came to human interactions, there was a small (actually fairly large) part of you that wanted to fight back against Alexia's unfairness by showing her you simply were not one to be trampled on.

There were two people in this relationship, and in this moment you realised that rank, longevity, and status in a football team were measly things to worry about.

"I think that would be a good way to start. Having someone knock some sense into her." You answered, quietly delighted when Mariona laughed momentarily at your words.

"I will try to do exactly that, for you. Promise." For the millionth time that evening, you found yourself completely under the influence of that goddamn smile.

"You're very good at communication. Unnervingly good." The hearty laugh you got in response forced the first genuine smile out of you all evening.

"Well, when you have a very emotionally intelligent girlfriend, you have to keep up."

"If you could give Alexia some lessons, I would appreciate that a lot."

"I will talk to her. Don't worry."

You left Mariona's apartment not too long after, both hands wrapped precariously and feeling significantly better than you did during that gym incident, finding solace in the fact there was now a fairly solid plan of action.

The only thing you could do now, was wait.

That was harder said than done, because for the rest of that day you didn't hear from Mariona at all. Nor did you hear from her before training the day after, and for the first time since you arrived, you were wracked with nerves as you walked into the building.

Not once during the whole session did Alexia glance towards you. Not once did she even acknowledge your existence. It drove you crazy, her acting as if you were invisible. As if she couldn't get anymore fucking immature. It took a lot of self control to not act like a petulant child towards her, desperate to piss her off in a quarter of the way she had to you, but you were better than that.

So when she rocked up outside your apartment later that day, with freshly dyed blonde hair that was styled in a frustratingly attractive way, a bouquet of chrysanthemums in one hand and a takeaway bag in the other, it took all of your strength to not slam the door in her stupidly hot face.

"What are you doing here?" You asked flatly, followed by a sigh that clearly indicated she was the last person on earth you wanted to see right now.

Well, with that haircut, maybe not the last person...

"I have a lot of explaining to do, I know that. And a lot of grovelling too. I was hoping you didn't hate me that badly to let me in." Alexia smiled sadly down at you, a slight shrug to her shoulders when she speaks.

Your mind goes back and forth for a few moments, briefly running through pros and cons of letting her in, before you decide fuck it, worst comes to worst you can show off your new boxing skills.

Eyebrows raised, you walk away from the door back towards your sofa, leaving her to wonder what to do for a moment. Ultimately, she decides to slowly follow after you once she'd softly closed the door. A quick glance around your apartment tells her you hadn't eaten yet, and she takes that as a small win before heading towards where you were seated.

"I brought your favourite takeout. Would you like to me dish it up?" She asks, a little disheartened when you shake your head.

"If you came here to talk, we're gonna talk." You state firmly, waiting expectantly for her to come sit with you.

She should have expected this really, knowing how royally she'd screwed it up with you and how disgusting she had acted. But hearing you speak so sternly was a bit unnerving, even if Alexia did recognise she more than deserved it.

A second later, she nods and places her items down on your dining table before making her way over to you. Rightfully so, she leaves some space between you both when she sits down, and you have to stifle a laugh as to not ruin your façade with how on edge she looks.

"Uh, so, me first, or..." Staying silent, you raised a daring eyebrow at her, thoroughly enjoying putting her through this slight torture. "Sí, okay, me first."

Anxiously, she wipes her clammy palms on her thighs. Then she cleared her throat, glancing at you periodically before taking a deep breath and starting her explanation.

"I am well, well aware of how bad I have acted towards you. I want to make that clear first. I acted like an idiot, to the worst degree. I was selfish, rude, I invaded your privacy, and I completely fucked it all up."

Hm, not too bad of a start.

"Congratulations, you took responsibility!" You responded sarcastically, fighting the urge to give her a round of applause too. Then you're fighting off a bubble of laughter at the nervous chuckle she gives before speaking again.

"I will regret my actions until the day I die. I promise you, I will never behave like that ever again. I've never been more ashamed of myself in my life, and knowing it's you who I acted like that towards makes it a hundred times worth. Because, you..." She shakes her head and waves her hands in the air like she's speechless. "You're you. You're the most selfless person I know. Your heart is something I do not deserve to have, because of how pure and kind and beautiful it is. You are so caring, and you love with every fibre of your being. Not only that, but you're so open, and I really admire that, because that is something I'm not. I'm... I'm ashamed to admit that even now I'm still anxious, and being secretive is how I've lived all my life. I want to be more open and care-free, I really do, it's just... hard for me."

With each word, each compliment, and each reason she gives, your hardened exterior towards her is slowly getting chipped away. You're not a grudge holder, it's not in your nature. And no matter how much you tried to fight it, it was inexplicably hard to not get wrapped up in her.

"Mariona... Mariona said you didn't even tell your friends it was me you were with. She said you only told them my name began with A, and that was it."

Alexia trusted Mariona of course, that was something that naturally occurred having known her for so long, but she wanted to get confirmation from you.

"I did. They don't know it's you I'm with." You told her, and if it was somehow possible, Alexia's heart shattered just that bit more.

"Well, I'm sorry, amor. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, it was really stupid and unfair of me. I really appreciate that you didn't break my trust, like I thought you had. I... that just shows how little I valued you. And I swear, that's something you'll never have to doubt again. I value you more than anyone in my life. I have a reason for why I was... more than reluctant to tell people about us. But I don't know if you want to hear it. I don't want you to think it's some flimsy excuse."

"Well, I mean, you may as well say it now." You scoffed, watching as she gulped nervously before nodding.

"My last relationship... with Jenni. That's why I'm so worried about telling people. Because even now, years after we ended our relationship that I would never ever want to go back to, people still talk about us, comment on our posts, make edits of us, and freak out about every little fucking interaction between us. It drives me crazy, even now, when I know I should not let it get under my skin, but it does and I can't stop it."

She shrugs dismissively as she talks, eyes cast down on her hands as she fidgets with the rings on her fingers. It's clearly a topic for her that's hard to discuss, and you want to reach out and take hold of one of her hands, but you don't want to distract her.

"When I was with Jenni, I was nowhere near as 'famous' as I am now. Now, I get the most vile and intrusive articles written about me, there are always cameras on me, paparazzi trying to figure out where I am at all times, and it really worries me because I don't want to involve you in that. If the media started writing things about you that were even just half as nasty as the things they've said about me, I would never be able to live with myself. It would eat me up, amor, I don't want you to go through that."

Okay, out of all the overthinking you've done in the last three days, your mind had not mustered up this point of view. This was undeniably sweet, a stark contrast to the way she'd treated you during the argument. You'd been with Alexia long enough to be more than familiar with how she acted on her anxieties in rather unhealthy ways for herself with harmful consequences for those around her as a result. Most likely, you realised, her recent behaviour was a demonstration of that very fact.

"And though those reasons shouldn't excuse my behaviour, because I should never have acted like that, I hope it gives you a tiny bit of insight into my head and allows you to recognise my actions came from a place of love, not malice. I showed it in completely the wrong way, but I swear to you from this moment on I will treat you better than I ever have, if you let me live up to that promise."

A shaky breath leaves the woman beside you, signifying the end of her ramble. And, to be honest, you'd forgiven her long before she finished speaking.

"Thank you for opening up to me. I forgive you, I do, but I won't forget how you treated me. If you ever show even a hint of that behaviour ever again, I'm out, Alexia, you must know that." You give her a clear warning, despite the fact your heart is crying out for you to just jump right back into her arms.

"I do know, I absolutely do know that." She seems to make the leap for you, as she shuffles along the sofa and gently takes ahold of both your hands. Your wounded hands. "Amor, what... what happened?"

Her voice is filled with concern, immediately overcome with nausea as a result of the worry she feels at the sight. However, that's nothing compared to the guilt she feels when you tell her what happened.

"Oh, um... an unfortunate run in with a punching bag not too long after our argument." You reveal sheepishly.

Alexia's heart drops. It drops from her chest, to the ground, through the core of the earth, and all the way down to China.

"This... this is because of me?" She whispers the question like she's terrified to utter the words. She's even more terrified of the answer.

"I guess. Yeah. I had to get my anger out some way, and I'm sure you're glad it wasn't your face." You try to joke, but it lands flatter than a pancake.

"Amor, I..." She can't find the right words within her to even attempt to apologise.

The great thing about mental health, was that 99% of the time you couldn't see it. That meant Alexia couldn't see the psychological damage she had caused you with her words.

But this, this was concrete evidence of just how much her treatment had affected you. She had done so much damage to your self-esteem, that you had no choice but to lash out to the point of injury. That, she feared, she would never get over.

"I guess Mariona failed to mention this part to you." Another pitiful attempt to lift the mood.

"She took care of you?" Alexia asked tentatively, the tiniest bit relieved when you nod.

In a split second, her arms were wound tightly around you as she tugged you into her lap. A rush of Catalan spilled from her, of which you gathered were words of apologies and sweet nothings to convey her intense regret. You didn't catch a word, not too familiar with the language despite playing for the pride of Catalunya, but you got the gist quite quickly and it didn't take you a moment longer before your arms were wrapped around her neck.

You were flooded with relief now that you were back in her hold, the embrace finally silencing the relentless voice in your head that had been going non-stop for days now. There were tears dripping onto your neck though, something that has you furrowing your brow and urging her to lift her head up.

"Ale, what's this for?" You asked, delicately wiping some of the tears that were overflowing.

"I just... I fucked it up so bad. So bad. Dios mío, you've ended up hurting yourself because of it. I'm just so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

Alexia falls apart then, breaking out into sobs that, though it's a rather a harsh thing to admit (not that you ever would, verbally) really exemplify her guilt and regret, and tie off her apology. You hate seeing her cry, hate seeing her so ruined, but all you can do now is hug her just as tight back and hope your words provide her some comfort.

"I forgive you, Ale, I do. My hands aren't your fault, it's a result of me not being sensible when letting my anger out. It's not your fault, mi corazón, not your fault at all."

You carry on spewing words of comfort for her until her cries finally subside a few minutes later. How she rubs at her eyes is something you find adorable, the way she does so reminding you of a young child. Your own hands follow her calloused ones, treating her with the same care she had complimented you on not so long ago. It warms her heart to no end, and it offers her a little reassurance of the fact you don't hate her guts.

"It's my fault a little bit." She mumbles, and there's a speckle of humour in it that you're not hesitant to jump on.

"Maybe a tiny bit." You whisper scandalously, smiling at the tearful laugh she lets out. "But I don't resent you for it. If I did, we wouldn't be in this position right now, okay?"

"Whatever you say, amor." Alexia nods, a semi-genuine smile on her face as she leans forward to rest her forehead on your shoulder.

"There's one thing I need from you for us to move past this." You state seriously a few quiet moments after.

She lifts her head up and nods vigorously, prepared to do just about anything you asked for if it meant she could love you for the rest of her life.

"I want to be able to tell people that are important to us. My family, my friends. Your family and friends. Our teammates. I'm not asking for us to go public on social media, I'm not asking for anything like that. I just want us to be more open. I want to be able to walk around Barcelona with you, like we did together when we started out dating. Because those moments with you, where you showed me your favourite restaurants and cafes and places special to you, they're some of my favourite memories with you. I just long for us to have a normal relationship, not one kept in the safety of our apartments behind closed doors. Because it's embarrassing and... and soul destroying being treated like I'm invisible. Just... treat me like a human fucking being in training, please? In public?"

It felt rather humiliating to be begging for such normal things, but that was the exact word you would use to describe this whole thing for you. Humiliating. To be treated like you had by, arguably, the sole person who shouldn't treat you like that, was something you never wished to experience again. Because, if you did? Well, there was simply no coming back.

But, you supposed, being in love was all about taking chances on people and relationships couldn't be built without a steady foundation of trust. That's all you could do now; trust in Alexia to nurture your heart like a delicate blossom where she cherishes every petal with gentle devotion.

"I will. Mi amor, I will do that and more. I will do anything you want me to, I promise that I will change my bad habits so that you never have to suffer at my hands again. I will love you like it's the last thing I'll do. You could never be invisible to me, you never were. From the first time I saw you, in your two-sizes-too-big Barça jumper on your first day, you've been everything but invisible to me."

Finally, the nail in the coffin to this whole ridiculous thing. And man, were you glad to see the back of it.

"As long as you don't embarrass me by one-upping me with your flawless free-kicks."

Despite the push to the shoulder you give her, you giggle and pull her back in for another hug. You'd been deprived of her embrace for far too long, and you planned to make up for it.

"I can't make any promises, unfortunately." You teased, grinning into the skin of her neck as her hands splayed out over your back, rubbing up and down comfortingly.

"I think I will take that." Alexia murmured, hugging you just that bit tighter before she leaned back. She moved her hands from your back to softly cradling your face, her eyes jumping from each feature to feature, trying to commit her favourite art piece in the world to her memory. Then, she met your gaze, and the sincerity and earnest present there was breathtaking. "We'll be okay?"

It was asked in such a vulnerable tone, you couldn't help but smile down at her.

"We'll be okay, Ale."

Going into training the next day, there was a spring in your step. Alexia had stayed over at yours the previous night, near enough refusing to leave. That meant she was wearing the same trousers as the day before along with one of your sweaters that, to your amusement, was evidently slightly too small for her as the cuffs ended just shy of her wrists. Call it your revenge perhaps, but as you both arrived at training together, chatting freely with content smiles on your face, it felt like a new leaf had been turned.

Alexia had made many mistakes with you, that she knew. She also knew she had no more chances, so she was going to try her absolute hardest to never act like such a fool again, even if it killed her. However, the shy smile on your face when she bounded up to you after Jona demanded the team to get into pairs for 1-on-1 practice, was enough proof for her to realise that it wouldn't be such a shame to go out of this world as a result of your love.

She almost came to regret that though when you handed her ass to her on a plate with each of your attempts to get past her. Because, quite frankly, you did embarrass her. Crossing her sides and body-checking her and out-skilling her each time was satisfying to no end, and it was exactly what you needed really. At one point, there was an ounce of worry that perhaps Alexia would be annoyed, but that dissipated immediately when she would laugh and slap her own forehead each time she was outshone.

That tiny speck of worry was completely forgotten about when, after the last attempt of the day, Alexia ran up behind you and lifted you up off the ground with her arms around your torso. Her mouth found its way to your ear as she took a few steps whilst carrying you, squeezing you tightly once.

"Never embarrass me like that again." She murmured jokingly, fighting back a grin as you laughed unabashedly in her hold. Afterwards, she put you down and moved to walk closely beside you, heading back to the main building as Jona called the end of training.

"You're the one that partnered up with me, Ale." You nudged her in the side with your elbow, gazing up at her with an adoring look that had Alexia's heart jumping in her chest.

"Maybe, but I only have one thing to say."

"What's that?" You hummed.

"Thank god for Mariona." She murmured, smiling as you giggled and nodded.

That smile was wiped off her face when an arm flung around her shoulders not a second later.

"Thank god for who?"

"I don't need your bragging right now, Mario, you're ruining a nice moment."

"I made this nice moment happen, Ale, you better thank me properly soon."

With that, the islander left just as quickly as she had arrived. When Alexia noticed the teasing grin on your face at the interaction, she shoved at your shoulder with a grumble under her breath.

"She really got through to you, then?"

"Oh yeah, absolutely. She beat my ass."

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

Lip Plumper | Leah Williamson x Reader

synopsis: Leah doesn't like your new (expensive) lip plumper

warnings: gets a liiiitle bit suggestive towards the end, language

wc: 3.9 K

“Hiya!” You flash a grin at the camera. Your eyes scan the influx of viewers and comments from fans greeting you back. “Hi, Grace! Hello, Liz!” You give the camera a quick wave, trying to say hello to a few names that you pick out from the flood of comments. 

“Right then” You bring your hands together, and then pause for dramatic effect. “Since many of you enjoyed my last live, I thought it would be fun to do another one” 

As an avid tiktok user, it was no surprise to everyone when you discovered the existence of tiktok live. You found a lot more enjoyment in sitting and chatting to people than learning choreography for a fifteen second dance video. Since then, you’ve become synonymous amongst the team as being the “live-streamer”, and they would often ask you when your next livestream session will be just so they can annoy you in the comments. Lately, you’ve started inviting some of your teammates to the livestreams as guests or as background entertainment, much to the enjoyment of the fans. 

but without a doubt your favourite livestream partner was your girlfriend– Leah. 

Leah didn’t really understand why you enjoyed live-streaming so much. Talking to strangers and answering the most random questions for almost an hour straight did not appeal to the blonde, but she didn’t mind sitting with you through it. You would usually ask her if she was up for it beforehand, but other times your girlfriend will surprise you (and the viewers) just by plopping down on the sofa right next to you and smiling at the camera. Comments would be flooded with “ask Leah to join!” “Leah!! Omg!!!” “Nooo come back Leah” but you would just laugh them off and say she’s busy.

You knew the Arsenal fans adored you but the fans’ love and adoration for their lifelong Gooner is like no other, and you really didn’t mind it. You were more than happy to comply with their demands of seeing your girlfriend from time to time, giving the fans updates on what Leah was up to when they asked.

Today, it was one of your solo livestreams. The whole team had been given the day off and you didn’t feel like making any plans to go out so you and your girlfriend decided to spend the rest of the day at home. Leah initially suggested going out for lunch and visiting a new restaurant that had just opened, but then said she was too lazy to go out so you ended up cooking lunch at home instead. 

lauren.g: heyyyyyy 

meadoooo: no practice today?

nelly: hatty on sunday incoming 

macabeonsnap: invite katie to join you on live!

You giggle at some of the comments. One of your favourite parts of live streaming was the comments from fans and you always try to interact with them when you can. You glance at the top corner of the screen and grin at the numbers popping up. 3.1k.

“Wow. Three thousand of yous already?! I’ve only just started!”

“Anyways– as I was saying” You pull your makeup bag towards you, revealing it the camera. “I thought I would answer some of your questions while I do my makeup– yeah, yes I do have plans later– me and Leah are going out tonight!”

You smile when the comments come through faster now that you’ve mentioned Leah. You can just about read a few comments asking you to invite her as they speedily fly through the screen to make room for the new comments. 

“Leah can’t join us at the minute, guys. She’s busy doing sudoku in the living room” You snicker; thinking of your girlfriend who was currently in the living room, laying comfortably on the sofa, a new sudoku booklet on her lap, and a footy match playing on the tv. You unzip your makeup bag and slowly pull out all the products you are going to use. You turn back to the camera. “You can start sending in some questions and I’ll try to answer them if I can” 

You grab your bottle of tinted moisturizer, shaking the bottle before uncapping it. You pump out an appropriate amount and then dab the product all over your face, smoothing it out with a beauty blender. In the middle of blending the moisturizer, you glance at the comments. 

genevieve382773: yeahhh the beauty influencer !!!!!!

redwhitefc: babe it might be time to clean that beauty blender 

stargirl23: y/n are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten-I-see  

gooners(taylor’s version): blend blend blend 

You practically cackle at the pick up line, head thrown back and everything. It was such a perfect pick-up line for you considering you wear the number 10 for Arsenal. You didn’t even hear the sound of Leah opening your shards bedroom door until she speaks up. “Right what’s going on here then? You’re having too much fun without me”

“Love! I–“ You start but you burst into laughing again when you think back to the pick-up line. You wave her over to you, tears forming in your eyes from laughing so hard. Your girlfriend walks the short distance and stands by you. When she spots your phone on titkok live on the dresser, she leans down slightly so she is in frame and gives the camera a quick wave. 

The comments go crazy. 

“What’s got my missus laughing like that, eh?” Leah playfully furrows her eyebrows at the camera, trying to look intimidating, but her messy bun and lion king pyjama top is doing her no favours. 

Eventually you calm yourself enough to explain the comment and the pick up line, somehow managing to be coherent enough for Leah to understand the gist of it. 

“Right that’s actually quite funny“ Leah shakes her head in amusement and grins at the camera. “But quit flirting with my girl. That’s enough, yeah” 

olly:  okay jelly shelly omg

milodino: MY GIRL??? chat is this true???

stargirl21: leave her for me y/n. I can ride a bike !!!!

emiiiily: that's literally my wife. come home y/n the kids miss you

↪ starry replies to milodino: they're lesbians, milodino. 

just.woso: the comments ijbol 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“What did you need, love?” You dab the corner of your eyes, finally calming down. You watch with fond eyes as Leah shakes her head lightly, looking down at you from her standing position beside you. She tucks a strand of hair behind your ear sweetly. “Nothing, just wanted to see you.” 

Then she turns to the camera. “But you’re clearly busy, so I’ll come back later.”

Leah drops a quick kiss to the side of your head, gives the camera a mock two-finger salut and leaves the room, closing the door gently behind her. 

You press your lips together, trying to smother the grin that was threatening to escape your lips. Even after months of being together and spending most of your time with each other, your girlfriend still gave you butterflies. 

Taking the tube of concealer, you lightly dabbed it under your eyes and over any blemishes, blending it seamlessly with the beauty blender. Then, you grab your favourite tube of liquid blush, a shade of rosy red, to add a hint of colour to your cheeks. Finally, you brush on a coat of black mascara to enhance your lashes, framing your eyes with subtle definition. You would periodically turn to the comments, answering a few questions when you can, before turning back to your mirror to focus on your makeup. As you lean back slightly to scrutinise your finish look, you suddenly remember something. 

“Oh right!” You scramble off your chair and run into your closet, grabbing the item that you were looking for from inside your bag. You race back to the room, your hair slightly frizzy from your sudden rush, and proudly show off the item to your livestream of nearly 5 thousand viewers. “I bought this lip plumper thing the other day and I’ve been wanting to try it out”

You settle back into your chair, releasing the lip plumper from the confines of it’s box. When you read a comment asking you about the name of the lip plumper, you roll the tube in your hands, trying to find the name of the brand.

“Do you know what guys– this thing was expensive! But I saw a tiktok video and just had to was influenced alright!” 

You pick up the box, inspecting the text at the back. “La Mer’s Lip Volumiser utilises its exclusive lip-plumping Renewal Complex blah blah blah….this serum-strength lip treatment is powered by La Mer’s cell-renewing Miracle Broth, a marine-powered fermented patent powered by sustainably-grown Pacific Sea Kelp hand-harvested from Vancouver Island’s surrounding waters…”

You glance at the camera, confusion written all over your face. “What the hell am I reading”

emmylemony: girl we don’t know you’re the one reading 

michaylaaaaaaaa: £72?!?!?

wosoforthegirlies: I understood nothing

russoairways: bro why are you putting sea kelp on your lips 

↪ bellasbaee replies to michaylaaaaaaaa: SEVENTY TWO GREAT BRITISH POUNDS?!?

“Anyways. This thing” You discard the box to the side and wave the tube in the air. “is supposed to make my lips look good, so let’s try it out”

Your fingers dance over the smooth surface of the cap before you twist it open, feeling a satisfying click. You pull the applicator loaded with the product upwards and carefully swiping the gloss across your bottom lip– then doing the same for your top lip. You lightly press your lips together, spreading the gloss evenly, feeling the rich, yet slightly sticky texture. 

At first glance your lips glistened with a perfect sheen, the subtle pink tint enhancing their natural colour.

You turn back to the livestream, pouting your lips towards the camera playfully. “Okay. It’s on– what do we think?”

Smiling at the flood of comments of fans, it’s mostly compliments but you catch a few questioning whether you can feel the spicy, plumping effect yet. 

“My lips are actually burning now” You laugh, touching the slide of your lips with your thumb, cleaning away any excess product. The gloss now feels cool on your lips, the tingling sensation begin to take effect. “But I’m not sure if my lips actually look…plumper?”

Just as those words leave your lips, you hear the door to your room open again. You glance towards it, smiling when your girlfriend cheekily winks at you before she heads straight into your shared walk in closet. 

“Baby, we’re leaving in an hour by the way! Reservations at seven!” You hear from the closet. You hum aloud in agreement, far to engrossed at your shiny new tingly lips and the comments on the live. 

“Right” You clap your hands together, leaning back slightly and fixing your hair. “This is my makeup for tonight’s date. I honestly don’t wear a lot of makeup because I usually end up falling asleep with it on– don’t do that kids– also…”

You get distracted when you see catch Leah walking out of the closet in your peripheral. She has changed out of her loungewear and was already dressed for tonight’s date– and she looks damn good. She was wearing a classic black button-down linen shirt, slightly oversized, with sleeves she had rolled up to her elbows, revealing the simple gold bracelet that you had given her for her birthday that year. On her left wrist, she sported her sleek Rolex watch, the one she never leaves the house without, and an extra thin black hair-tie for your sake– you are always looking for one and she wants to be prepared. She has left the top few buttons undone, showcasing a delicate gold necklace with your initials, that rested just above her collarbone. 

The matching shorts completed the co-ord, cinched at the waist with a drawstring that was tied into a neat bow. The shorts were tailored enough to look polished but loose enough to maintain the relaxed, effortless style Leah has been into lately. She paired the outfit with her favourite pair of white leather trainers, and her staple pair of arsenal cannon earrings are on her ears.

You watch as your girlfriend walks over to where you were still seated by your vanity, snatching her bottle of perfume and popping the cap off. 

Shit, she was hot. 

Leah is, in your humble opinion, the most attractive person you had ever laid eyes on. Her eyes are a piercing shade of blue, framed by naturally long, dark lashes that flutter with every movement. Her nose is straight and slender, and sits above a pair of full, expressive lips that often break into an easy confident smile in front of the cameras, or a smug smirk when she’s in the mood to tease you. Her jawline is defined and strong, a personal favourite feature of yours, proven by the amount of kisses and hickeys you like to bestow upon it and her neck frequently. 

You watch as she cranes her neck slightly, spraying a few spritzes of perfume on both sides. She feel the sudden urge to bite.

And she probably sensed your thoughts because she held your gaze, that familiar smirk on her lips, before she gestured to your on-going livestream with a nudge of her chin. Oh!

You risk a glance at the comments. 

mollie_mae: girl we’re still here…

stargirl23: Was that Leah that walked over? 

tilly: She was definitely looking at leah 

bellasbaee: GET A ROOM 

lessisflyingboots: same y/n. same. 

kryystal: GET LEAH ON PLEEK

“Anyways I’m about to end the video here! Thanks for spending time with me and letting me yap on about things…”

Leah walks over, crouching down beside you and cages you in her arms. She flashes a quick smile at the camera before turning to you, smiling fondly and whispering “my yapping yapper”

She leans over and kisses you sweetly. 

But then abruptly pulls away for a moment, eyebrows furrowed, her lips smacking together. You were about to make a joke about how you had brushed your teeth earlier but then she speaks

“What the fuck?” You girlfriend mutters in a low voice, leaning back slightly away from you.

She grabs a hold of your head with both hands to hold it still, leaning forward again to kiss you, this time taking your lower lip in her mouth and sucking on it lightly. She pulls back again, this time her face is contorted in pure disgust. “Baby, what the fuck is that on your lips?”

Leah takes the bottom edge of her shirt, pulling it up and wiping her lips against it aggressively. Good thing she’s wasn’t standing directly in front of the camera or else she would’ve flashed her abs to nearly 7k people. When she’s had enough of exfoliating her lips clean, she lets her shirt fall and glares up at you. 

“Get that shit off your lips” Leah demands, one finger raised and pointed. She crosses her arms over her chest, her blue eyes glancing down periodically at your lips with a look of digest on her face. Her eyebrows are still furrowed furiously. 

You raise an eyebrow of your own at her, mirroring her crossed arms. “Excuse me?”

“m’not kissing you with that all over your lips, mate.” Your girlfriend gets up from her crouched position, spins on her heel and practically marches out the door to your bedroom, leaving you completely dumbfounded.  

You glance at your phone and nearly crack a smile at how quickly the comments were coming in. If it was any other time, you would be more than happy to laugh along with fans who were obviously very entertained by Leah’s reaction to the lip plumper, but you knew it would be wrong to continue any further. 

sofiamia: NEEED A GIRLFRIEDN PLS

eveliiiina: They are so cute wtf

jojo_mojo: okay who want me??????

Awfc4me: JBCEWHCIBALCHC CUTE

“Right, I’m actually going to end the stream here” You hover your finger over the end button. “Thanks again for joining me. Bye everyone!” You muster a quick wave at the camera, blowing a quick kiss, and then click the button to end the live. You lock your phone, placing it face up on the dresser. 

You were just about to call out for Leah when you hear her stomping back into the room. She trudges over to you, and holds out a wad of tissues. You glance at the tissues hovering in front of your face, and then eye your girlfriend. “What are these for?”

“Wipe that shit off.”

“No.” You lean back on your chair. You had just bought this lip product and it was stupidly expensive. You weren’t about to wipe it off just because your girlfriend was having a tantrum. “I just put it on, Lee” 

“Well then it won’t be hard to take off, will it” Her mild Milton Keynes accent intensifies when she’s upset. Her vowels are shorter and her speech becomes faster, almost slurring her words together, exactly as she was doing right now.

“Lee–“

“Baby, my lips tingled.” Part of you wants to giggle at how utterly fed up she looks. Another part of you couldn’t help but admire how attractive your girlfriend look when she’s all worked up

but now was not the time. 

"Lips aren’t supposed to tingle and burn y’know” She continues, gesturing wildly at her own lips. 

You roll your eyes. Leave it to your girlfriend to exaggerate things. “Love, it’s just a lip plumper…”

“A what? Baby, you don’t need that” Leah bends down slightly in front of you, your eyes now levelled. You watch as her eyes focus in on your lips, slightly glazed over, almost as if in a trance. “Your lips are perfect as they are” She mutters.

Your girlfriend thumbs the corner of your lips, before moving to caress your bottom lip. There's a familiar softness in her gaze, a look only reserved for you. She moves her gaze from your lips to the rest of your face; her pupils are dilated, letting in more light as if they are trying to absorb every detail of you before they settle on your lips again. Your lips which are still wet and shiny from the gloss. Your breath catches at the intensity of her gaze. You feel her thumb swiping at your bottom lip gently– intimately– and you think it’s sweet at first but then you realise–

“Oi! You’re wiping it off, Lee!” You recoil away from her touch, scowling up at her. 

“s’sticky too. bloody hell” She mutters, more to herself. She’s wiping her thumb on her shirt so aggressively you wouldn’t be surprised if she managed to burn a hole into it. 

She stops briefly to look at you again. “Baby, how am I supposed to kiss you when you wear that stuff”

“No one said you need to stop kissing me”

Leah glances down at your lips again, cringing slightly at the shine that still lingers on your bottom lip. 

Looks like she didn’t wipe it all off. 

Your girlfriend closes the distance between you, cupping your face in her hands. She freezes for a moment and wets her own lips, her furrowed eyebrows– a familiar determined look on her face– and you open your mouth, ready to cut off whatever shit she’s about to spew, but her lips meet yours before you can get any words out.

Leah’s lips meet yours hastily this time, as if she is a woman starved. From the months of being together, you have come to know just how skilled of a kisser your girlfriend is. You are more than happy to follow her lead, often trusting her to lead the kiss since she’s so good at it. She can kiss softly, gently, when the mood is right– prolonging the intimacy of a dance only the both of you are a part of. She would direct your head with a steady hand, tilting it ever so slightly so she can kiss you much deeper. Her lips would part deliberately, gently slotting between yours with careful ease because she wants it to be perfect for you every single time.

But other times, Leah was a little…rougher. She would kiss you like she was about to devour you, like you were the last meal on earth served up to her in a shiny silver platter. Often times it was messy, sloppy and the sounds you both made could made a priest in a confession booth blush. If a moan slips out, she would reward you with a low chuckle, smiling into your lips before she would go back to devouring you. Her hands would travel down to you hips, waist– ass– squeezing and groping any sliver of your skin she can. She doesn’t like to pull away first, often letting out a groan of disapproval when you make the move to end the kiss. The only time Leah would ever end the kiss first is if so she can admire the rosy flush of your cheeks, and the way you always take a second or two longer to open your eyes again, eyes hooded with an almost drunken grin on your face. 

The way she was kissing you right now was a mix of the two. Sloppy, but gentle. She’s leading the kiss, and you have no choice but to follow. One hand is tilting your head slightly, but the other hand has started the journey down to you waist where she gives it a quick squeeze before she pulls your body even closer. Your hands are on her hips– fingers grasping the fabric of her shirt, mainly because you have to be touching her too, but also so you can steady yourself against the intensity of the kiss. 

Leah finally pulls away, ending the kiss with one last, sharp, teasing bite to your bottom lip. Your eyes are hooded when she pulls away, and you can see her smirk slightly when she sees the lack of lip product on your lips. 

She kissed it all off. 

You watch as your girlfriend smacks her lips together, probably tasting a bit of the gloss, but the furrow of her eyebrows is gone. Leah presses her lips against your bare ones one more time, giving you one more smacking kiss and almost putting you off balance by the sheer force of it. She smiles down at you adoringly, loving how dazed look in your eyes. She caused that.

She cradles your face to one side, pushing your hair behind your shoulder and baring your neck to her. She lays one wet kiss to the side of your neck before you feel her lips move up to your ear. 

“…it’s going in the bin, baby.” 

Before you could fully process what your girlfriend had just confessed, the girl had already snatched the lip plumper from where it was sitting on your desk, and was speeding out the door. 

You could only stare at the slightly swinging door in disbelief before you force yourself to snap out of your leah-drunk haze, and sprint out the door right after her. 

“YOU CHEEKY FUCKER! GIVE IT BACK”

made this slightly longer as a little treat for leaving yall hanging last month lol. pls forgive me <3

it's been nice and sunny lately so im hoping this lasts until the end of the week, but you never know with British weather. hope everyone's has a great week ahead.

thank you for being so patient and being here. I appreciate you more than you know,

-- kisses, butter.

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

FUCKKKKKK I NEED HER. I NEED HER. I NEED HER. I NEED I NEED HER. I NEED HER. I NEED HER. I NEED—

her beauty is so fucking underrated

I CANNOT believe I haven’t haven’t given her the time of day until wandasaura pointed her out

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

2010 rbr seb truly was a menace (adorable as hell but a little shit through and through).

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

this goal and celebration was possibly one of the hottest things i have ever seen in my entire life.

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

I’ll say it. If you like this place, act like it. Writers are working DAY AND NIGHT to provide you with the content you receive. And honestly at the moment I don’t know if a certain number of you are even worthy of their hard work. You don’t like something? Move on. Stop caring. Scroll! Don’t be a fucking bully. Stop ruining peoples experiences and disrupting communities.

I’m fucking exhausted of coming on here and seeing anonymous users repeatedly degrade and insult the writers that are provide the entertaining, HIGH QUALITY content we receive (Shocker, none of it is coming from you so I’m not sure why you feel the need to speak on it behind the safety of anonymity. It’s giving fucking insecure.)

Get your act together. Don’t like it, leave. Stop telling our creators horrible things.

“No one likes you!!” Honey, the call is coming from inside the house. Bullies aren’t wanted here.

For our creators: don’t ever change. All of your writing voices are so unique and beautiful. It’s a pleasure watching you express your talents and hard work on here and a blessing to be able to read your creations. Keep your heads up. The loudest voices are always the ones who are the most wrong. There are so many of us, who appreciate you more than you know. You blow us away with your efforts and talents every single day. We love you.

For the rest of us: MAKE YOUR APPRECIATION KNOWN!!! We are better than this and we are better than those who choose to bring shame and cruelty to this place. I know you may think “but what can I do”??? Send them messages of appreciation! Compliment them. Make sure that their efforts are seen and that they know their work is enjoyed. Let’s drown out those other voices - lord knows they’re not worth our time and energy.

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

#WallpaperWednesday X 🐐

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

Aggie I want to be mad about this, stop looking so hot

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

I never get over this clip it kills me

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

My full emotional register right now

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

Cats and Love

What’s between you and Alexia is just casual sex - until your usually shy cat starts taking a liking to her 

Inspired by this: 

which @vixwritesagain sent to me so credits to her for the idea

The cats name is the name of my family’s actual cat btw 💓

This is mostly fluff, quite suggestive throughout because I just couldn’t resist my bad 

-

You watch with great interest as Alexia stretches herself, back turned towards you, before she grabs her bra that’s laying on the ground and slips it on, followed by her t shirt. The several small tattoos she has inked on her skin paired with her muscular body are quick to send your thoughts into the gutter once again. You’re too exhausted to move though, just laying there as you watch her get ready. You know you should really get up and put your clothes on so you can leave - that was the deal after all: something casual between Alexia and you to help both of you deal with the stress of your daily lives.

The loud sigh that escapes you as you sit up and grab your bra and shirt to put it on as well makes Alexia look over to you. You don’t notice her eyes raking appreciatively over you, your messy bed hair covering your peripheral view as you quickly slip your clothes on, hands still shaking and the familiar ache from Alexia’s massive fingers settling in your lower region. You’d love nothing more than to curl up next to the blonde right now, enjoy her body warmth and let her hands trail over your body in a non sexual way for once. But the deal had been just sex, a relationship with a public figure something that would just draw unwanted attention on you. You couldn’t deny that the reasoning was more than good enough for you since you had - of course - stalked Alexia’s profile and seen the kind of questionable comments that she got from some fans. But if you were completely honest with yourself: you’d deal with it if that gave you the chance of being Alexia’s actual girlfriend, spend more time with her and enjoy her company apart from just sex. 

“You okay?” Alexia’s accent always seems to get stronger after you two had sex, you could only guess why but since she often broke out into Spanish curses when she got close, it was probably from switching the languages so fast. You turn towards her, the blonde waiting for an answer as you slip your pants back on that she had basically ripped off of you earlier in her impatience.  

“Yeah, all good.” You do mean it, it’s not a lie, you are feeling pretty good right now. You just wish you could bask in that feeling together with Alexia for longer instead of you both going your separate ways again. 

She hums, holding out a water bottle for you to take, always insisting that you need to rehydrate yourself. She’s big on that and also the first to tell you to lay back down if you still feel too tired to get up. You never do that though, no matter how much you would love to because you know you’re already teetering dangerously close on the line of falling in love with someone who’s only supposed to be a casual sex partner. If you were completely honest with yourself, you probably are already in love with Alexia. You can’t tell her that though or she would end this entire thing immediately, so you try your best to keep some distance between the two of you as soon as it’s over and don’t stay at her home any longer than necessary, even if she offers food or drinks or for you to take a nap in her bed. 

It’s only three hours later, you’re long back home, when you get a text from Alexia asking when you have time again. You wonder if she’s stressed out more than usual and therefore needs more to take her mind off of her responsibilities. You’d love to ask but it’s not really your place so you simply tell her that you can meet tomorrow at your house. 

You have always met at Alexia’s place so far since you had gotten some renovations done in your apartment- today would be the first time she’d come over to yours and you couldn’t help but be a nervous wreck. You had spent the entire day stress cleaning the already spotless place and making sure there was absolutely nothing embarrassing laying around. It didn’t even matter because you knew it would be like always where you’ve barely made it through the door and Alexia’s lips are already on yours. Still, you wanted to make sure your friend with benefits didn’t think badly of you - trying to tell yourself that it was just because you wanted to leave a good impression. Something that was definitely a lie. 

When the doorbell rang you jumped nearly a foot in the air, trying to calm your breathing down as you walked down the small hallway to open the door. Alexia sent you a smile as she walked in, slipping off her shoes and putting them on the side of the door. 

While you were waiting next to her, you were incredibly surprised to see your cat - who usually hid in her little bed if someone came over and refused to be touched, come closer carefully. You were even more surprised to see Alexia - who you could have sworn was more of a dog person - crouch down and hold out her hand for her to sniff on. “What’s her name?” Her voice was unusually gentle, trying not to scare the still very skittish animal in front of her. 

“Mittens. Because of her little white front paws, it looks like she’s wearing mittens.” 

You watched in absolute fascination as your cat - who was normally a mortal enemy of absolute anyone who came over and way too scared to come close - carefully crept towards her and then rubbed her little nose against Alexia’s huge hand. 

“Huh. You’re the first for that one.” You didn’t miss the proud smile on the blonde’s face at your words, merely using her pointer finger to gently rub over Mittens head who immediately broke out into loud purring and rubbed herself against the sleeve of Alexia’s shirt. 

It took a few minutes until you had decidedly enough of waiting, picking your cat up who would have apparently just sat there for forever to be pet by Alexia and set her on her usual spot at the window, though you were still puzzled as you watched her meow in protest - something she usually didn’t do at all. Deciding to ignore it as you were slowly growing impatient that Mittens was getting all the attention, you simply gave her a few pets to calm her before you closed the door to the living room. 

“Uhm, where’s your bathroom? I think I should wash my hands first.” Alexia’s voice broke you out of your thoughts, the blonde sending you an almost bashful smile as you directed her towards the right room, waiting in the hallway as you heard the water run.

When she came back out it was almost like a flip had switched, her hands reaching out for you to pull you close to her before she pressed her lips onto yours. You barely made it to the bedroom, the blonde as always quite impatient as she didn’t even take a second to look around her, pushing you onto the bed and wasting no time in tugging first her shirt and then yours off.

“I’ve been waiting for you the entire day.” 

Alexia had always been one for dirty talk so you tried not to search for any deeper meaning in her words, assuming that she had just gotten horny and missed having you there to take care of it. Though the way she pulled back and looked into your eyes felt far more intimate than usual, the intensity with which she had just manhandled you around gone for a moment as she sent you a soft smile. You couldn’t help but smile back, entranced by this a bit unusual but very much welcomed softer side of Alexia. 

The softness was gone just as quickly as it had appeared, though you were far from complaining as her hands reached out for you again, tugging the rest of your clothes off as she pressed her lips against yours in a messy kiss. Alexia liked to be in control and it showed every single time during your encounters, the blonde nothing short of demanding as she’d give commands and then not even give you one second to follow them, instead pushing and pulling you into the right position.

She also quite enjoyed speaking in Spanish, forever amused at how incredibly riled up it got you if she whispered Spanish words into your ear - despite the fact that you didn’t know what it meant. You did learn a few of her commands simply through the actions that followed - like when she told you ‘Sièntate’ during one of the first times you two got together and pushed you down on the bed when you didn’t immediately react. 

Or the one time she had noticed your thoughts drifting a bit throughout because you had seen the countless tattoos on her naked skin and had wondered what each one stood for. You would have loved to ask her, wanting to know more about the blonde woman that you regularly shared your bed with now. A pinch to your thigh and Alexia tipping your head up to meet her eyes with a murmured ‘Pon atención’ had interrupted your thoughts, the Spanish words still engraved in your head as you had realised pretty quickly what she had said, the thought of her tattoos fading as she kept you busy with something else. 

It was one of the first times you had noticed that you were slowly falling for Alexia, catching yourself blushing afterwards when her gaze met yours for a moment or when she looked into your eyes as her fingers slipped inside of you, the feeling of being so exposed but also so safe in her muscular arms sending your head reeling. You knew you had basically broken the main and most important rule already - don’t fall in love with your fuck buddy. But it was too late anyway and you’d rather just have Alexia for an hour and appreciate the short moment as you came down from another high where she held you close and rubbed your back comfortingly, than not have her at all. Even if it hurt every single time you had to get up and leave.

After you two were done you both made a short stop in the bathroom to clean yourselves up, Alexia as always insisting to do it for you, the familiar action making your growing feelings even harder to ignore with how incredibly gentle and careful she always was - since she was aware how sensitive you got. Afterwards you merely grabbed your underwear and a shirt before you disappeared into the kitchen to get Alexia some water - wanting to be a good host. You hadn’t closed the bedroom door on your way out and to your genuine surprise when you came back in, Mittens was sitting on Alexia’s lap who was leaned against the headboard of the bed, the cat purring loudly. The Catalan had gotten dressed, the thought of her sitting on the bed in her outside clothes making you cringe internally, though you were distracted by the fact that your incredibly shy and standoffish cat who usually hissed when strangers even looked at her, had not only let Alexia pet her earlier at the door but was now also proudly sitting on her legs and rubbing her head against the blondes arm sleeves again. 

Alexia sent you a bashful smile when you walked in, giving you a small ‘gracias’ when you handed her some water. 

“Lo siento, I didn’t want to move her. She just jumped on my lap.”

Mittens really was full of surprises today. 

“Oh don’t worry, uhm you can stay - only if you want to of course, I can take her off of you if you need to go or something.” You felt yourself blush a little at the way you stumbled through your answer, the prospect of Alexia staying longer making your heart flutter nervously though you didn’t want to be too hopeful. You knew how busy the blonde girl was and how much she valued the agreement that this between you two was purely physical - no relationship. 

Therefore you were surprised again when the Catalan merely shrugged, one hand still petting Mittens who seemed to be about to fall asleep, the tiny pink nose pressed against the fabric of Alexia’s shirt. 

“I don’t mind. I don’t have much to do today anyway.” 

You nodded, sitting down next to her as you nervously fiddled your hands. You regretted not having put your pants on right away, feeling a bit awkward sitting half naked next to a fully clothed Alexia. You decided on just slipping back under the covers, the action making the Catalan look back up from where she had been watching your cat with a small smile. 

“Are you cold?” 

You weren’t really, maybe only a bit. But for whatever reason you nodded, your stomach doing an excited flip when Alexia didn’t hesitate to wrap one arm around you, pulling you more into her side. Her other hand was still petting Mittens. The way she was being so careful with the tiny cat which seemed even smaller next to her large hand was adorable, the sight making your heart flutter. Or maybe it was Alexia’s hand rubbing along the naked skin of your arm, you internally praying that she wouldn’t notice the goosebumps that she elicited from the action. 

As nice as all of this felt - this was definitely not the right way to battle your ever growing feelings for your friend with benefits. You were already hanging on by a thread and the way she was now being so sweet and too nice to push the cat off of her just made it worse. You didn’t really know how long you sat there but after some time your stomach grumbled loudly, making Alexia laugh. You two decided on just ordering takeout together, surprised that the Catalan still made absolutely no move to go home. 

Even when the food arrived she carefully placed it next to herself, asking if you were okay with eating in bed. You normally weren’t - at least not with food that contained sauces like this one - but since you’d have to change the sheets now anyway because Alexia had been sitting on them with her outside clothes - you might as well leave her and Mittens where she is. 

You had expected it to feel weird to eat with Alexia, had thought that it might be awkward and you’d just silently stare at each other. But it was far from that, the blonde actually a lot better at making conversation than you had expected, some of the rare moments of silence bridged by Mittens trying to steal a bite of the food. 

Since you didn’t have any dishes to wash you just quickly put everything in the trash before coming back to Alexia once you were both done eating. As stupid as it was, because it would just make it even harder to ignore your feelings for her - you hoped that Alexia might stay even longer. She didn’t seem like she was in any hurry to get up and go when you came in, still relaxing and petting Mittens who was just stretching on her lap after the long nap she had taken.

You missed the look of slight panic on Alexia’s face when the cat jumped off of her to go explore outside a bit and eat her food, the girl certain that you’d kick her out now. Though the fact that Alexia didn’t immediately use the chance to get up and say that she has to go now, gave you enough confidence to just close the bedroom door and slide back into bed next to her, smiling up at her when she wrapped her arm around you again. 

Her fingers started tracing patterns over your naked skin there and this time she had definitely noticed the goosebumps, a smirk on her face as she leaned down a bit to kiss along your face to your jaw. The small breath you let out was enough to make her smile victoriously, having gotten quite familiar with the noises you made when you got turned on. 

“Ready for another round?” 

She barely finished her sentence before you turned in her grip and pressed your lips onto hers, mostly because the memories alone from round one earlier combined with her gentle touch were enough to get you back in the mood - but also because this would be a sure fire way that Alexia was busy for the next hour or so and would stay for longer. 

The hour quickly turned into two, the blonde girl nothing short of insatiable and you found yourself completely out of breath and incredibly tired when she was finally satisfied. It wasn’t the best thing to do but you were too lazy to get up now so you just stayed in bed, not bothering with the clean up as you were barely able to fight your eyes fluttering close. Too exhausted to think about it, you just curled into Alexia’s arms, a happy sigh escaping you when she gently rubbed her hands up and down your back to ease you to sleep. She had hoped that this might happen but hadn’t been sure if she would succeed at staying over and spending time with you, burying her head in your hair as she let herself slip away as well, equally tired. 

When you woke up the next morning it was sadly not in Alexia’s arms. Though the blonde was certainly the reason you were awake, her hand still gently shaking you as your eyes fluttered open. 

“Buenos días, I’m so sorry to wake you but I have to go to training soon and I didn’t just want to leave you here like that. I’ll text you later, sí?” 

Still only halfway awake you took a moment to register her words before you nodded, still too tired to pay attention to the amused smile on Alexia’s face at your sleepiness. She squeezed your arm gently before she waved and left, petting Mittens a few times on her way out who followed her all the way to the front door. 

Once you were more awake, there were several things you noticed. First, it was quite late in the morning compared to when she usually had to get up. She had told you about it before, explaining why she had to go to bed early and couldn’t meet you late at night. You knew therefore that training today was at 8:30 a.m. Currently it was 8:00, which only gave her half an hour to drive to her house, get her training kit and then drive to the training grounds. Knowing Alexia and having heard her say that she liked to be there really early for some extra training, she should already be there, the Catalan usually going at around 7 a.m. Your heart fluttered a bit with hope at the thought that she might be so late because she wanted to stay here with you for longer? 

The second thing was, that there was water for you on the nightstand that certainly hadn’t been there before, as well as one of the protein bars that Alexia always ate. Both must have been put there by her for you and that realisation was definitely enough to get you to blush. 

Lastly you also appreciated the fact that she had taken a moment to wake you up instead of just disappearing and writing you a text message. It was cute but it certainly didn’t help make you any less in love with Alexia. 

After you had showered, changed your bed sheets and gotten some real food - though you did eat the disgusting protein bar simply because it was from Alexia - you saw that you had two messages from her. 

‘Do you have time again today?’ 

‘Or do you need some more time to recover?’ 

You couldn’t help but blush again, a bit annoyed at just how easily the Catalan had you wrapped around her finger, a simple message enough to make your heart flutter. But you did have to say that the fact that she had texted you not even two hours after leaving - while she was at training nonetheless - did make you incredibly proud. The small beacon of hope after her actions this morning had definitely gotten bigger, though you did your best to suppress it, telling yourself over and over that this was just a friends with benefit situation and she was being a good friend. You texted her that she could come over again, knowing for sure that you’d probably regret it in the morning since you were already starting to feel the soreness from yesterday creep in. 

When Alexia arrived later on she was freshly showered, hair still wet as she had apparently come pretty much straight after training. You couldn’t help but smile at the thought, wondering if she was just that horny or if maybe… maybe it really was because of you. 

Or because of your cat that she immediately excitedly began to pet. Mittens seemed just as delighted to see Alexia, rubbing her small head against her arm once more. You couldn’t even blame her, more than impressed by the muscular arms that the Catalan had as well. 

You again had to pluck the cat up from the floor and put her in the living room to put an end to the petting, not willing to share the small window of time you usually had with Alexia. Even though the sweet way with which the blonde handled your cat was incredibly endearing. 

This time Alexia did get up and get dressed again right away after you two were done, only stopped when you came back into the room followed by Mittens who ran straight over to the blonde. 

“Wow, seems like my cat really likes you.” 

You did wonder a bit just what exactly it was that made Alexia more likeable than even you right now to your cat - who completely ignored you and went straight for the Catalan. 

“I just have that effect on everyone.” The satisfied smirk at Alexia’s little joke made you roll your eyes, not offering a reply while you handed her some water as you couldn’t deny that she might actually be right with her statement. She most certainly had that effect on you. 

Once Alexia was fully dressed she started moving towards the door, being careful not to step on the little cat that was now walking in between her legs and meowing loudly. 

“Is she hungry?” 

You were puzzled yourself, having not seen Mittens act like this at all so far. 

“No, I just put more food into her bowl. I’m surprised she is here with us instead of eating it to be honest.”

Alexia merely hummed in reply, scratching your cat behind her ear who again eagerly rubbed her head against her shirt. 

“You might just have to stay over since she doesn’t want you to go.” 

It was meant to be a joke, just something to bridge the moment. But you didn’t dare say that when Alexia sat down on the floor with a short ‘vale’ and kept petting your cat. For a moment you were a bit lost on if she actually wanted to stay over, too nervous she might think you’re overstepping if you ask her outright if she is. Though when Mittens crawled right into the Catalans lap, purring so loudly that you could hear it several feet away with Alexia making absolutely no move to get up and leave, you decided that maybe she really did want to stay here with you. Or at least with your cat which is good enough. 

You offered some tea, successfully moving her to the living room, Mittens still firmly seated on her lap as you couldn’t help but be a bit jealous of the tiny animal who was now peacefully sleeping there. You kinda wished you could sit there, take a nap leaned against Alexia’s strong shoulders. But at least she was here now, sitting next to you and actually telling you more about herself. You two talked for hours, only interrupted when you got hungry and got some food delivered again. You normally preferred to cook, simply for cost efficiency reasons, but the thought of cooking with Alexia sitting there watching your every move made you too nervous, the hazel eyes bearing a kind of intensity that made your breath stutter sometimes. She had insisted both times to pay anyway, not listening in the slightest to your protest that you were the host and supposed to feed her. 

It was late when you brought out one of your spare toothbrushes for Alexia, Mittens having finally decided to go eat some of her food while you two got ready for bed. It felt a bit weird, very domestic to stand next to her in the bathroom while she brushed her teeth. You still couldn’t believe that she was staying over - all because your cat had protested so loudly when she tried to go. You secretly wondered if Alexia would have stayed if you had protested and asked her to. Normally you would have said no, certain that it was just a nice friends with benefits situation for her. Now though, with her brushing her teeth next to you, sending you a small smile when she noticed you looking at her, you weren’t so sure anymore. 

You had just planned to give Alexia some of your outfits to sleep in, she wouldn’t fit in your normal long sleeved pyjamas but maybe in your shorter ones. Though when you proudly presented the matching silk set to her, she merely chuckled, assuring you that the shorts would look like a pair of panties on her. You couldn’t really deny that one, having grown quite familiar with the very strong and thick thighs of the blonde paired with an equally strong behind. She saw your stare at her legs, a small smirk on her face as she took the pyjama from your hands and placed it on the dresser. 

“You know, I could just sleep without anything on. Wouldn’t be the first time.” 

It was ridiculous how these few words paired with that infuriatingly attractive smirk was enough to send a new wave of want through you. You couldn’t really find it in yourself to be mad though, distracted by Alexia’s lips pressed onto yours while she maneuveured you towards the bed. She was quite gentle this time, aware that you were probably getting pretty sensitive from all the sex you two have had these past days. The realisation that that was what made her so incredibly careful as she slipped her fingers into you for the second time today only served to turn you on more. You tried to focus on her, batting the thoughts of how sweet and adorable and beautiful she was into the back of your brain, hoping the surge of love you had felt would be gone later before you made it too obvious that you were in love with your friend with benefits. It wasn’t so simple though, the way she checked in several times with you, the whispered words of reassurance that you could take it, the soft kisses against your skin… Alexia really didn’t make it easy not to fall in love with her. 

You were clingy afterwards, exhausted and leaning onto her as she cleaned you up, her free hand rubbing comfortably over your back as she assured you that you could go to sleep soon. You barely even listened, feeling almost drunk with the conflicting emotions as she basically carried you to bed, not letting you sleep before you had a few sips of water. Once she was satisfied, she slipped under the covers with you, not having bothered at all with dressing you - secretly quite enjoying your naked skin she could now feel against hers. You were out like a light before you had even registered how she wrapped her arms around you to pull you closer. 

When you woke up the next day, the first thing you noticed was that you were quite warm. You realise what the reason is once you turn a bit, Alexia’s arms still tightly wrapped around you. To your surprise she’s still asleep and you take a moment to appreciate the sight. Her hair is messy, closed eyes moving a bit as she’s apparently dreaming. She looks adorable, lips plumper than usual from the sleep and a slight blush on her cheeks - she’s probably warm as well. 

You’re careful as you slip out of bed, having to wrestle yourself out of her hold so you can put some underwear and a shirt on. Your plan was originally only to go to the toilet and then return to appreciate the rare morning cuddles from Alexia. Though once you step outside to the hallway, you’re a bit puzzled to see your cat laying in her little bed with Alexia’s shirt next to her, her nose pressed into the material as she’s sound asleep. You’re quick to grab it, praying that it hasn’t gotten that many cat hairs on it so that you don’t have to lend her one of your shirts that won’t fit her anyway. It’s completely undamaged thankfully, though it does make you wonder why exactly your cat is so obsessed with Alexia - or maybe just her shirt? 

It’s weird and you know it but you still press the material against your nose and take a deep breath, not really sure yourself what you’re expecting. It does smell like her, her typical perfume and a bit of that certain smell that Alexia just has. Though there is also something else. It smells like citrus. Or to be more exact: like the little toy with catnip which also smells like citrus, the one you had gotten Mittens. The same toy you had to bury in the depths of your nightstand because your cat would go absolutely insane whenever she smelled the catnip, constantly pressing her nose against it, placing the toy next to her in her bed when she slept and meowing loudly in protest at first when you took it away. 

You didn’t think much about it, just storing it to tell Alexia about later as an explanation to why your cat was clinging to her so much when you re- entered the bedroom. The blonde was still asleep and so you decided to just indulge yourself, crawling back into bed next to her and letting out a satisfied sigh when she tugged you towards her again in her half sleep. 

You didn’t really notice the time pass, slipping in and out of sleep before your stomach got too loud to ignore. When you sat up Alexia also did, one arm still around you as she rubbed her eyes. 

“Buenos días.” 

If you weren’t thoroughly exhausted and sore from yesterday, the raspy voice and heavy accent would have been more than enough for you to jump her bones right then and there. You couldn’t really control the shudder that went through you though, Alexia apparently mistaken it as you being cold as she pulled you a bit closer to her in an effort to warm you up. 

“Good morning.” 

Alexia hummed and you tried your hardest not to stare as she got up, still completely naked, and began to collect her clothes. 

“Uhm, my cat kind of stole your shirt and laid on it. I’m really sorry about it, I didn’t close the bedroom door fully last night and she must have come in at some point. It’s not damaged but there’s quite a bit of car hair on it that I couldn’t get off. You can borrow one of mine if you want.” 

“Oh, yeah. Gracias.” 

You were too distracted to notice the blush on Alexia’s face or the way she avoided your eyes as she put everything but her shirt on, waiting for you to choose one of yours to give to her.

You did however see it when you turned back around from the dresser with one of your oversized shirts in hand that would hopefully fit halfway, still talking. 

“I think it’s because it kind of smells like catnip, she goes crazy for that. I got her a toy once with it in there and she wouldn’t stop pestering me for hours when I took it away. Maybe your perfume has like a hint of it or something? Or do you own a cat I didn’t know about?” The last sentence was a small joke, you were well aware that Alexia had no cat seeing as you had been over countless times. 

“Uhm, no I don’t have a cat.” 

You paused, watching Alexia as she brushed some invisible lint off of her clothes, suddenly very concentrated on that so she wouldn’t have to look at you. That, in combination with her furious blush - something absolutely atypical for the Catalan - was enough to make you suspicious. 

“Sooo, where’s the catnip smell from then, if you don’t have a cat?” 

Alexia only shrugged in answer, still not looking at you. 

“Interesting.” Your one word sentence did succeed in making her look up, the teasing smile on your face telling her that there was no use in lying anyway as you had apparently figured it out. 

“Did I scare you with the mention of how shy my cat is? I didn’t mean it seriously back then when I said that I’d have to kick you out if she doesn’t like you. There was no need to get catnip to convince her.” 

“It wasn’t only for her.” Alexia felt like she was on fire with how hard she was blushing right now. But she knew this was her chance to come clean and be honest about her feelings for once - besides, she didn’t want to lie in your face. 

“It was for you. I thought if your cat likes me then I could maybe use her as an excuse to come over more often. So I read up on how to make a cat like you and the results all said catnip. I rubbed it onto my shirt and my hands the first time I came over and the second time too. And it worked pretty well, she sat down on my lap which gave me an excuse to spend more time with you. That’s all I wanted.”

She lowers her head at her last words, blush still visible at how exposed she feels right now, laying her feelings open like that for you. 

She only looks back up when your hands grab hers, your fingertips a lot smoother as you gently trace them over her calloused skin, a soft expression on your face as you speak. 

“You could have just asked.” 

“We had an agreement. One that I set in place. I didn’t think I’d fall for you so quickly.” She’s looking down again, heart beating awfully fast at the risk she has just taken with revealing that she’s in love with you. A squeeze of her hands makes her look up once more, the soft smile on your face telling her your answer even before you say it. 

“I fell for you too Alexia.” 

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

sometimes always babygirl is a 30 year old footballer celebrating her ninth league title

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

lucy pointing the vegan burger out to aitana ☺️

also caro sitting on the ground eating that burger looking like a 10 year old has me giggling

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

Stina blackstenius you better stay where you are istg

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

nobody talk to me I’m in mourning again SABS 🥲 😔

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

to be worthy.

and impromptu mother's day fic in the sol-verse it's a difficult day. and a weird day. but it's also a day for family, and for people stepping up to take roles they didn't have to. a day for love, really. angst. but also sickeningly fluffy.

You’d never second guessed yourself more than you were in that moment, parked outside the flower shop, watching people enter and exit the building. It was barely 7am, and you had been there for almost a half hour already. Just sitting. Just thinking. 

Mother’s day. It hadn’t ever been your favorite day. No matter what you did or bought or made, your mom was never very happy with you. She didn’t want anything you could give to her. She didn’t even really want you around. She wanted Ingrid with her on the day, and she always made that very clear. 

This year was obviously… very different. Different because you weren’t speaking to your mother, and you didn’t have to get her anything. You didn’t have to write lies down in a card about how much she meant to you, or buy a gift she’d throw out in a few days anyway. You didn’t have to do any of that; there was no pretending this year, and you weren’t really sure what to feel about that. 

It was suddenly a day with no obligations, but then again… not really. Because if anyone in the world deserved to be celebrated it was Ingrid, and it was Mapi. 

Ingrid was your sister. Mapi was your sister's girlfriend. You knew this. It just felt… inexplicably wrong to let the day pass without acknowledging all they had done for you, all they were doing for you. There was no… older-sister-acting-as-your-parental-figure-day. You were left with this sunday in may, a day that already made your heart ache. Now, you were terribly anxious, too. You didn’t want to overstep, nor did you want to… understep? Too little, too much. Not enough.

Logically, you knew that Ingrid and Mapi would probably be completely fine with anything you chose to get them. You weren’t feeling very logical, though, so you grabbed your phone, and called someone you knew would be. 

“Hi älskling,” Frido greeted, suppressing a yawn. It was quite early for her to be answering the phone, but she wasn’t in the business of not answering calls from you. If you were calling, it was important. 

“Frido, does Ingrid like flowers?” You asked, nervously cracking your knuckles. 

“Flowers? Everyone likes flowers, Solstråle. Why?” 

“I just… I wanted to get her and Mapi something, and I don’t know what to get. I don’t want it to be too much or too little, or ugly or stupid or something they don’t like and I don’t want to make them uncomfortable but-”

The words rushed out of your mouth like someone had turned on a faucet, and Frido sighed, now understanding what you were so stressed about. 

“Hey, Solstråle, relax.” She interrupted. “Flowers are good. Ingrid likes daisies I think. And Mapi loves pink roses. It’s not weird, it’s not too much, or too little. They’ll be happy with anything, really. Don’t overthink it.” 

“Right. Okay. Daisies and pink roses. I can do that.” 

“I know today isn’t the easiest for you, but just try to remember-”

“I have to go Frido, sorry. Thank you, I appreciate you.” You said quickly, not really wanting to get into that  at the moment. The Swede sighed, hoping you’d relax a bit as the day went on, and as you got a good reaction to your gift. 

------

Dropping the flowers off at home, along with the cards you’d gotten, and fleeing hadn’t been your best idea in retrospect. The idea of being with them… when they say what you’d gotten for them and when they read their cards… was nauseating. Sickening. Horrifying. You wouldn’t be doing that. 

You set everything up on the counter, grabbed Scout’s leash and Scout himself, and headed out the door, intending to spend the morning at a cafe just down the street. You had your computer and some school work to finish, which seemed like as good of a distraction as any. 

Back home, Ingrid was lying awake in her bed, as she had been for a few hours. It was only when Mapi rolled over into her, her head clunking against Ingrid’s shoulder, that the Norwegian realized it was probably past time to get up. 

“Morning.” Mapi grumbled, pressing a kiss to the skin of her girlfriend’s shoulder. 

“Good morning,” Ingrid replied softly. The single word, dripping with anxiety, was enough for Mapi to lift her head and blink groggily at the other woman. 

“Something wrong?” She asked. 

“It’s mother’s day.” Ingrid whispered, tears inexplicably clouding her vision. Mapi was sitting up in a flash, pulling the younger woman into her chest. Ingrid nuzzled close to the soft t-shirt Mapi was wearing, inhaling the comforting scent of the woman she loved. 

“Mi amor,” Mapi sighed. “I know, it’s a hard one right now. You don’t have to call her, though. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. We can cancel lunch with my mom, stay here with Solstråle. We can pretend it isn’t mothers day.” 

Ingrid shook her head, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. “No, your mom deserves to be celebrated. We’ll go to lunch. I want to give Solstråle some space today, but I’m worried about her. And I don’t want to call my mom. That would be like… betraying my sister. I don’t want to speak to that woman. She doesn't deserve it.”

“Okay.” Mapi agreed, running her fingers through Ingrid’s thick hair. The Norwegian’s eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, and she relaxed into her girlfriend once again. “We’ll keep an eye on our Sol, and we’ll be quick at lunch. And you can have as many hugs as you want.” 

“Can’t I always?” Ingrid asked with a small smile. 

“You have a point.” Mapi chuckled. “I am going to go make you a coffee, be right back.” 

With that, she rose from the bed, pressing a quick kiss to Ingrid’s lips, heading for the kitchen. Ingrid stayed in bed, worrying about you and how you’d act today, until she heard Mapi call out for her in a strangely choked voice. She was out of bed within a second, rushing down the hall towards her girlfriend. 

“What?! What is it?!” Ingrid shouted, sliding in her socks on the wood floor into the kitchen, looking around frantically. 

She saw Mapi first, staring with tears in her eyes at a little card that had the Spaniard’s name on it. She saw the two vases next, sitting precisely in the middle of the counter. One with daisies, one with pink roses. There was a card with Ingrid’s name on it on the counter, too, and it wasn’t hard for Ingrid to connect the dots. Her first concerns were with her girlfriend, though, who’s lip was wobbling dangerously, as she blinked rapidly down at the card in her hand. 

“María?” Ingrid murmured. “Baby, are you-?”

Mapi blindly reached a hand out towards Ingrid, a hand that the Norwegian took. Gently, Ingrid rubbed her girlfriend’s back, reading the card over her shoulder when Mapi tilted it slightly in her direction. 

María,

It’s mother’s day, and it didn’t feel right to let today go by without telling you how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You allowed me into your home without a second thought. You met my stubbornness and hostility with love and kindness, and I will forever be grateful to you for that. You love Ingrid so deeply, and I couldn’t wish for a better partner for my sister. I think I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be as good of a person as you are. I hope you like your flowers, and I hope you know how much you mean to me.

Love, Solstråle.

By the time Ingrid had finished reading, Mapi had turned in her arms, burying her face in the crook of Ingrid’s neck, and was sobbing quietly. They were happy tears, Ingrid realized. Emotional, but happy. Ingrid couldn’t do much but hold Mapi tightly to her, and press kisses into the top of her head. 

“She means every word, you know? And she’s right. You are the best person I know, the kindest, the most loving. You deserve the flowers, María.” 

That set off another round of tears, bringing a small laugh out of Ingrid, always astounded and impressed by how emotionally… healthy her girlfriend was. 

“Damn you Engens. Making me cry.” Mapi huffed, using Ingrid’s shirt to wipe her tears away. 

Ingrid took her girlfriend’s face in her hands, carefully kissing her lips. “Because we love you very much.” 

“Cut it out, Ingrid.” Mapi complained, though she was smiling shyly. “Open your card, I want you to cry.” 

Ingrid laughed, reaching for her own card, though she hesitated before opening it. Mapi had moved to get the coffees going, but turned to glance at Ingrid when she fell silent. 

“Open it.” Mapi encouraged, turning away to give Ingrid space to read. 

It was another little card, in your big handwriting, a bit longer than Mapi’s. Ingrid took a deep breath, trying to stave off tears before she even started reading. 

Ingrid,

Mother’s day is weird now. It kind of always has been, but I’m sure it’s weird for you now, too. I hope today isn’t too difficult for you. You are a lot more to me than a sister. I’ve always looked up to you, always seen you as a role model. And I still feel that way. Now, though, you’ve taken me in and been so patient with me. More patient than I deserve. I feel safe here, with you. For the first time in a really long time. Safe and loved, in a way I had kind of forgotten existed. Ingrid, you changed my life. You saved my life, too. I’ve never felt very worthy of love or care, but it’s so readily available here. And if someone as good as you thinks that I am worthy of your love, your time, your attention, then I must be. At least a little bit. There aren’t enough flowers in the world to express how thankful I am for everything you’ve done for me. Thank you Ingrid. Really, just thank you. I love you very much, even if I don’t always show it or say it. 

Love, Solstråle. 

And now Ingrid was crying, and Mapi was abandoning the coffee to pull her into a tight hug, and you were walking in through the front door at just the perfect time. You had just barely unclipped Scout’s harness before you were being forcibly pulled upright into some kind of suffocating group hug.

And normally, something like this would have probably made you uncomfortable. You felt yourself melting into the hug, though, before you really knew what you were doing. Embarrassment flooded you. Regret flooded you. Because even though the hug was nice, you felt dangerously exposed. Dangerously vulnerable. 

------

You insisted that Ingrid and Mapi go to lunch with Mapi’s parents and her brother, without you. Both girls tried to explain, while respecting your privacy as much as possible, why you had stayed home, although Mapi’s mother was rather insistent that she wanted you at lunch, too. You were part of the family, after all. 

It was only when you were home alone, curled up on the couch with Scout, that the reality really hit, that questions you didn’t want to consider really started to flood into your brain. 

Had they really liked the flowers? The cards? There wasn’t much time to talk, as they’d had to get ready for lunch, and both of them had clearly been crying. Maybe… maybe they didn’t really like what you had to say? Maybe you were putting pressure on them to be something they weren’t. It was so easy for you to spiral into self doubt when you were left to your own devices. 

Should you have called your mom? 

No matter how much time passed. No matter how many times Ingrid and Mapi told you that you hadn’t done anything wrong, that she had been the issue. You were pretty sure you’d always blame yourself, at least a little. You’d spent so long thinking you were at fault, and that kind of thinking was hard to break out of. Knowing that you weren’t to blame, and really believing it were two different things. And something was easier about blaming yourself. Safer. 

Maybe you should have called. Maybe you should take the first step. She was your mother, after all, and you only had one. You couldn’t help the guilt that began to suffocate you, the insecurity, the self hatred. 

You wished you could just hear Ingrid and Mapi tell you that they loved you, that you were a good person, and believe it. You were kind of afraid, though, that you’d never fully believe that. 

The best thing to do, the most logical thing, was to shut yourself in your room for the rest of the day. So you took Scout and some snacks and buried yourself under as many blankets as you could, tucked away in your room. A closed door between you, and the avalanche of emotions and feelings you’d let out earlier in your cards. 

Too vulnerable. You’d been too vulnerable, and there was no taking it back, and that was terrifying. Being vulnerable in the first place wasn’t easy, but not wanting to die afterwards was even harder. 

-------

Ingrid and Mapi returned from lunch to find the house dead silent. Your bedroom door was tightly shut, and when Ingrid peaked her head in, you had been pretending to be asleep. So, she headed for the living room, tucking herself into the corner of the couch, thought after thought running through her head. 

Had she been too emotional with you earlier? Had you not really meant what you’d said in your letter? Were you just trying to be nice? Ingrid had learned not to push you before you were ready for something, and she felt like today, she had. She should have played it cooler, not made it as big of a deal. 

And, fuck, she should have called her mom. 

She shouldn’t have, but she should have, and there was no correct answer in her head. Either decision made her feel like she was being bad. A bad daughter or a bad sister. 

And now she was being a bad girlfriend, because Mapi had been trying to get her attention for several minutes, and she’d been too spaced out to notice. 

“Ingrid!” Mapi said again, this time reaching out to grab onto her girlfriend’s hand and squeezing. 

“Sorry, sorry. I was distracted.” Ingrid said. “What?”

“I checked on Sol. She seems upset. You should go up there and talk to her.” 

“No, no, today has been a lot for her, she has to process her emotions.” Ingrid said, shaking her head. “She doesn’t want to see me right now.”

Mapi resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Honestly. The two of you were both hyper aware of the others’ feelings while simultaneously being too afraid to actually talk about said feelings. You needed each other, today, and Mapi was done trying to get you to figure that out yourselves. 

“Enough of this. Vamos.” She stated decisively, standing up from the couch, grabbing Ingrid’s hand and pulling. Ingrid groaned her annoyance, but went somewhat willingly.

Mapi dragged her up the stairs, knocking on your door before entering upon your response. You were still on your bed, trying to hide the evidence of your almost constant tears, when Mapi entered the room with Ingrid in tow. 

“Alright. Both of you need the other right now. Sol, Ingrid isn’t mad at you. Ingrid, Sol isn’t mad at you. Everything is fine. Stop overthinking.” And with that, paired with a small shove to Ingrid’s back, pushing the Norwegian in your direction, Mapi looked between you two expectantly. 

You looked very cautiously, but also somewhat hopefully, up at your sister. 

Ingrid looked at you similarly, taking a hesitant step closer to the bed. “What do you need, Solstråle?” She asked, determined, at least, that you get better about asking for what you needed. If it was space, she'd respect that. And if it was a hug? Well. Good. Because she really needed one too.

You shifted slightly, lifting one of your arms in a half gesture. “Sit with me?” You requested. 

Relief flooded Ingrid’s face as she all but launched herself onto the bed next to you, instantly pulling you into a tight hug. You were relieved, too, that you hadn’t been too much for either of them. That your love in return wasn’t too much. Your mom had always made you feel like it was suffocating, the way you tried to get her to pay attention to you and love you.

Ingrid and Mapi never did that. They just… gave you what you needed, without a second thought. Before anything else. As you sat squished in between the two of them, listening to all the details from the lunch you’d skipped, you realized that all you’d needed today was Ingrid. Being with Ingrid and Mapi made your head go quiet. There wasn’t room for doubt when they were on either side of you. Mapi trying ridiculously hard to make you laugh. Ingrid combing her fingers through your hair without a second thought. 

You fit here, in this family. With them. They told you you fit, that you were wanted, and that was something that was getting more and more believable as time went on. You had a family, and even if you didn’t really have a mother to celebrate today, you had two people who put you before anything else. People that loved you more than your mother had. You had a family, again. And that was really something to celebrate. 

------

:) happy mothers day to everyone who celebrates, and to everyone that doesn't.

however you feel is valid. if today is hard, or if today is easy, there will always be tomorrow, and tomorrow will be even better.

<3

[zoomzoomcarsstuff]

Jana Fernández & Bruna Vilamala Appreciation

Request a player | with @alotofpockets