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I genuinely love how there isn’t a huge consensus on ancano’s backstory, age, appearance, or even personality, but we all agree he’s at winterhold because the rest of the thalmor think he’s a loser

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Everyone: Fuck the Thalmor

Ondolemar: Hello

Me: Well I guess it can't be helped *unzips pants*

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Pussy from a boy who loves sexy male elves <3

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snorting this line again and again and again and

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"why do you like Ondolemar?" How much time do you have and how insane can I be?

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Skyrim NPCs Reactions (This time, if you hide in a cupboard and jump out at them)

Ancano: He’s camp about it and you can’t convince me otherwise. Clutches his pearls and shrieks before regaining his composure. If you breathe a word of this to anyone, there’s a fireball with your name written on it.

Ondolemar: was too focused on his work to notice your hiding spot. Jumps a mile but sighs and sits there with his head in his hands for a moment before he’s ready to face you.

Vingalmo: knew you were in the cupboard. Waits to watch you make a fool of yourself for his own entertainment.

Serana: knew you were in the cupboard. Jumped anyway and scowled at you. You’re cruel. How does it feel to be a horrible person?

Cicero: goes one of two ways. Either he screams and then laughs and dances around to get the uncomfy out of his system, or you end up with a knife against your throat. Or worse.

Lydia: she turns around with lightning reflexes and throws a haymaker directly into your face before apologising profusely (provided that she hasn’t knocked you out). She tells you off for it whilst pressing a beefsteak against your face, and you can only acknowledge that you totally deserved that.

Vex: A knife whizzes past your ear and lodges into the wood. “Next one goes in your eye.”

Elenwen: walks up to you and throws her drink over you. “Pour me another by the time I get back.” She turns on her heel and storms out to walk it off.

J’zargo: *GROWL HISS*… *decides that he can’t be bothered*

Festus Krex: he knows you’re in there. “Stop it.” If you jump out anyway, he throws whatever he’s holding at you. Probably a mortar and pestle.

Arnbjorn: knows you’re in a cupboard. Doesn’t know which one. Threatens the wrong cupboard door.

Vilkas: sees you hiding and tells you to wait for Farkas.

Farkas: screams at the top of his lungs. Falls over his own feet.

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He makes me look at Markarth with rose-coloured glasses

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It's actually 4.30 am and he's spinning in my mind like if he was in a dryer. Brrrr says brain.

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Idk what it is, but I just really wanna romance Ondolemar, he's like? So sweet for a thalmor🥺

Like, i would treat him SO right😭

Right after you've helped him he just turns like

🥰🥰 each time he sees you

like OMG BABY GIRL PLZ LET ME LOVE YOU 😭😭❤️

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Was it casual when you hated everyone but told me “there are so few pleasures in life as fine as your company”

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We love the silly mer who paces for 18 hours then sits to eat bread for the additional 6 hours

The grind don't stop!

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Ondolemar being ur "ride or die" after you do a little favor for him will never not be funny to me.... mfer has no work friends, and it shows 😭😭😭😭

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☆ Tes Crushes ☆

Tagged by @lucien-lachance ages ago to do this, but I wasn't in the right headspace. Buuuut I am now, so let's get this rolling!

I don't know who to tag, you've all probably done it already lol but @theoneandonlysemla @vervayyn @sheirukitriesfandom @pocket-vvardvark @umbracirrus @labskeever @heavy-metal-dick

1. TELDRYN SERO - to the surprise of absolutely nobody, he is my number one. I mean seriously, have yall heard him speak? Have you forcibly removed his helmet to see his face? Have you dragged his ass around the entirety of Skyrim and listened to him comment on every. damn. thing??? The way he growls "you need to get to sleep" directly into your ear during the night because he cares about your wellbeing????? Sorry not sorry, I'm an absolute whore for this mer and I won't stop lmao. Number one!

2. FARKAS - He was my very first character crush in this game, and the first I married. Big hairy man with a greatsword? Those blue eyes and long dark hair? Oh hell yeah. Sadly, when I married him, he glitched out and got stuck in a T pose and floated backward for the rest of my playthru. RIP farky

3. ONDOLEMAR - I have @skyrim-forever to thank for rekindling my interest in this elf, but before the Dragonborn DLC was released, he was my "why the HELL can i not marry this guy???" character. I was crushed that he wasn't a romance candidate and that he also can't be saved. We love a man who thinks highly of himself.

4. ULFBERTH WAR-BEAR - He looks like my irl husband, and I was disappointed he's already married. He's so friendly when you go into his shop!

5. DELVIN MALLORY - again WHY can we not marry him???? It's his voice, I swear.

6. AELA - She's just hot, alright? 😅

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I think we all know who the real slim shady is

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Btw ondolemar wants to fuck the Dragonborn baaadddd. “there are so few pleasures in life as fine as your company” he wants to fuck nasty

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But like fr, why he say that? Sir, what are we?