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Parenting Reflection
What surprised me most about being a parent is truly how selfless you have to be. I did not fully understand how much I valued my freedom and being able to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and only think about how it impacted me. Even the little things like how much longer it took to get out of the car and having to wake up earlier to make sure my baby got a proper breakfast all added up. During the week, nearly every decision I made I had to think about my child as well and feeding times and other things like that. Having a little human with you 24/7 makes you realize how little it is about you as they depend on you for everything.
Among the most valuable things I learned about the developmental of my infant then toddler then young child is how quickly they grow and develop and how important every single is for them to reach their full potential. Being able to understand how impressionable they are in their first couple of years of life is not only incredibly fascinating, but also super important to take into consideration when raising children. I did not truly realize how much children are like sponges and how they soak up everything from the language I use to what they are exposed to and so much more.
As much fun as it was having a little buddy to carry around for the week, I honestly could not imagine how difficult it would be to be a teen mother and to make the decision to raise a baby as an adolescent. Teenagers have so much to juggle and are trying to figure out their own identity in a very confusing time full of lots of changes and adding another human to that equation would be extremely difficult in my opinion. From studying for tests, to homework, to sports practices, to extracurriculars, to even free time to workout or spend time with friends or just watch TV, all of that would be different if a child who depends on you for everything was added into it. I am grateful for the experience and as much as I love nannying and spending time with little babies and tiny humans, I do not think I’ll be ready to be a mother for at least eight to ten more years.
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Preschool Years (Ages 3 & 4)
Woods as a three and four year old has been fun and exciting yet also challenging in new ways. Woods is super talkative and loves to have conversations to just about anyone from the grocery store checker to his grandparents to the dog and everyone else in between. He loves to play make believe; pretending to be a police officer and the postman are among his favorites. We have playdates at least twice a week as he loves playing with kids his age. I am definitely biased, but he is so intelligent; he loves doing puzzles and has memorized multiple books. He is an excellent storyteller too, even if he does exaggerate the truth sometimes. That boy has a crazy imagination! All these wonderful things being said, it has not all been easy.
Woods is little best friend and favorite little human. Being a single mom, it is sometimes difficult to set boundaries and be able to follow through with them. I definitely have expectations, but I am also very responsive to how Woods is feeling on a given day. I try my best to encourage open discussion between all three of us: me, Woods, and Woods’s father. Woods is into testing the limits a lot more than he used to. For instance, he took sharpies from my desk, which he knows is off limits, and drew all over the white kitchen cabinets. I handled the situation by taking away the sharpies and explaining to him how this is not okay behavior as it can’t be cleaned and he knows better. I did not yell or harshly punish him, but instead showed him how Mommy couldn’t clean this and would need to call a painter. Woods was clearly upset already because he knew what he had done was wrong so there was no point in me giving him a time out or some other form of punishment. I have taken a lot of parenting notes from the “No Time for Flashcards” parenting website. I’ll include a link to a wonderful article on misbehaving preschoolers below.
How to Handle Disruptive Behavior at Preschool
XOXO
Zoe
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Woods daycare class picture! Year 4s Seedlings Class at Acalanes Preschool
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Toddler Years (Ages 1 & 2)
Woods has been such a joy as a toddler. His love for me is the most rewarding thing I have ever experienced in my entire life. Getting to watch him develop and grow into a little human has been amazing. Sleep training him proved to be a wonderful decision as he is an excellent sleeper, meaning I get a lot of sleep as well. We transitioned through the infant to toddler phase of taking two naps to only one once he turned 2 years old. Having the late morning nap and afternoon nap all throughout his 1st birthday was invaluable for me and my sanity. He loves all foods and is not picky at all. He decided to make my life way easier by being fully potty trained at 25 months. He also is super coordinated and loves to play with his mini sports equipment items. He has yet to throw a single temper tantrum which is pretty impressive that we made it a full three years without one, yet he has developed a little bit of a biting problem at his childcare center in the gym. He loves to talk and it pretty communicative, yet his struggles with verbalizing when he is frustrated with other children.
Parenting has not proved to be an easy task. Being a single parent who co-parents with my child’s father has brought it’s own set of challenges as everything has needed to be decided and carried through together. Faith is a big aspect of my life, but it isn’t of Chace’s so we compromised and got Woods baptized, but will not be regularly attending a church. We also decided on absolutely 0 screens until he turns 3 years old so no TV, iPad, iPhone, etc. I don’t even let him tap my Apple Watch when I’m holding him. We have had a really hard time taking away the pacifier entirely so once he turned 2 years old, he was only allowed to have it for bed and it had to stay in his crib. Once he turns 3 years old, we plan on saying goodbye to the pacifier forever. We have also decided that we are not going to spank Woods as a form of punishment. A riveting piece from NPR really convinced me of all the harm and psychological harm that it causes. I’ll attach the link below as I recommend everyone read it and also watch the special if you have the time.
NPR & The American Academy of Pediatrics on Spanking Children
As I mentioned earlier, Woods has been biting at the gym childcare center so I’ve done some research on why toddlers bite and what I should do as a parent. Toddlers bite for a number of reasons, but most prominently they are struggling to verbally communicate their feelings so they bite as a way of expressing themselves. They may be struggling to communicate because they are overwhelmed, over-stimulated, frustrated or upset. The best way to tackle this issue is to assess what is triggering to the child and maneveur around it as children grow out of a biting stage by 3 1/2 at the latest. For instance, if the child bites while in highly stimulating surroundings such as childcare centers then it is best to avoid places as such. One of the things that should never be done is that a child should never be labeled as “a biter” as it is really harmful to their self-esteem. Another harmful tactic is biting your child back as this just reinforces biting as an acceptable interaction technique in life. Getting angry with the child is not helpful, they instead need a kind and understanding figure to help them through their emotions. It is also important to understand that biting is a normal part of childhood developmental and should be handled as such.
BabyCenter on Biting
ZeroToThree on Toddlers & Biting
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It took us until 3 years old, but we’re finally done with the pacifier. Yay, Woods!
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All cozy in his car seat in his brand new lamb hat and jacket. So soft- we’re obsessed!
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Celebrated Woods’s 1st birthday by trying cake for the first time. He loved it!
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Our favorite way to start our mornings is with Mommy & Me Yoga! It’s definitely gotten harder as Woods keeps growing and getting heavier as a big 1 year old now, but we love it. Always fun when we have friends in class too!
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Woods loves hanging out with his friend, Coco, while their moms splurge on a frozen treat after SoulCycle.
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Infancy (0-12 Months)
Baby Woods’s first year has been such a joy! I cannot believe we are already celebrating his 1st birthday- it truly is crazy how fast time goes with a little one. The saying, “the days are long, but the years are short” has never felt more real. I’m so proud to announce that he took his first steps nearly eight days ago so right before his 1st birthday. We thought he would’ve started walking sooner as he was pulling himself up on furniture and toys for the past couple six weeks or around ten months. I might be biased as his mom, but I think he might be the fastest crawler ever! As soon as he started crawling around six months, he couldn’t be slowed down. His favorite foods are crushed watermelon, cheerios, and any fruit puree pouches. I told myself I would stop breastfeeding him as soon as he could walk, so cow’s milk here we come. We are also working on getting rid of the pacifier, but he loves it so much and with the transition off breastmilk, we decided we are going to hold off a little longer to allow him some more comfort and stability. He loves reading books and we try to read at least three books a day to him to keep his brain active and I would like to believe that has been the reason for his vast vocabulary at his age. Woods has words such as mama, dada, no, dog, more, cup, and stop. The words such as no, dog, and stop are probably thanks to our favorite four-legged friend, Whiskey. Anyway, we are very proud of our sweet, little nugget of a son, Woods on all of his milestones this year and we can’t wait to see what 2 years old has planned.
It is with a heavy heart that I announce that Chace and I are getting divorced. With Chace’s movie career taking off and my main focus being on Woods, it was clear that we were in too different of places to be able to raise our son in the same home. While Woods is unable to understand complex language, our emotions and energy around him were definitely beginning to impact him. Woods developed stressed hives which the doctor believed was caused from the constant arguing between me and Chace. Being a mother, one of the most challenging things is knowing that your actions are hurting your child. By no means was this an easy decision as the best foundation to give a child is in a loving, two parent home environment. We made this decision out of pure love for Woods and for each other. We trust that Woods will be better off with two happy parents that live separately than with two parents who are miserable and constantly fighting. The article I’m attaching below has been a lifesaver for me and Chace, both to help us understand the best way to explain things to Woods and make sure that our actions are not in any way harming him. At the end of the day, our biggest priority is making sure that Woods knows he is so loved and that his parents still love each other and are willing to do whatever it takes to give him an incredible upbringing. And while they might be raising him in different homes, he is being raised together with love and strong communication and that’s all that matters at the end of the day.
ZERO to THREE Article on Divorce with Infants and Toddlers
XOXO,
Zoe
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Whiskey, our sweet boy and our “first baby” also cannot wait for his little brother to come into the world.
XOXO
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Pregnancy & Prenatal Development
Hi! My name is Zoe Crawford. My husband, Chace Crawford, and I are so excited to be welcoming our first baby into the world. We had a wonderful gender reveal party with our close friends and family the past weekend and are ecstatic to announce that we are having a baby boy! Our baby boy is going to be named Woods Brandon Crawford. We both loved the name Woods because of how unique it is and Chace being in the Hollywood eye, we obviously had to go with something unique. And we chose Brandon for the middle name after my father.
I have loved every single second of being pregnant. This being my first pregnancy, I’m super happy with how easy it has been. I had some mild morning sickness in the beginning of the first trimester, but it was never terrible. I’ve been working out every day, eating healthy, taking my prenatals, and getting a good night’s sleep every night. I was beyond excited the other night when I felt baby Woods kick for the first time. It was the most magical thing I’ve ever experienced.
Chace and I are very ready to meet our baby boy. His “big brother” Whiskey is also ready to have a new best friend and someone else in the house to give him pets and snuggle with. Chace’s career in the film industry is really starting to take off and I’m so proud of him and know that he will be a great father when he’s home. I’m sure it will be hard as I will be raising baby Woods virtually by myself at some points, especially within his first year of life as Chace will be in Europe shooting a new movie. Regardless of this situation, our baby is going to be brought into a world full of love in a two-parent household with a strong marriage and foundation to raise our children. I have been inspired recently by numerous articles I’ve read about being basically a married single mother (I’ll attach one of my favorites down below), along with talking to all my friends who are in similiar situations and feeling a lot more secure with how it will work.
The Rise of the Married Single Mom
XOXO,
Zoe
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