zyronnesambutuan

[zyronnesambutuan]

My Coming Out Story

My name is Zyronne Keth T. Sambutuan, I will tell my lowest part of my life and how I coped up with this. This story of my life is so hard to share because it’s all about my coming out to my parents and how my parents reacted to it. By the way I’m a transgender and I’m a Muslim and to this reason why coming out to my parents is so hard because in Muslim culture being gay or being part of LGBTQ+ is a huge sin and not accepted to the Muslim Culture. Both of my parents is Muslim and growing up with this kind of parenting you need to be a real boy and not to be a feminine boy because they will judge you. Growing up I hide my identity to my parents and relatives because I don’t want to be judge and be insulted by other people. Even though I was gay from a young age, I hid it for a very long time. The majority of the time, I hoped it didn't have to be that way or a big secret, but I was terrified of anyone finding out or knowing. But to be honest, it wasn't as horrible as it could have been because I mostly simply focused on my studies and reading while attempting to avoid thinking about it. And that worked for a very long time.

            It was when I entered high school that I realized that I was really different and that I wanted something different like I’m more into guys than girls. When I was in grade 7, I started liking boys and when I was asked what I really was, I said that I was bisexual and that I liked two genders but inside of me I don’t really like girls. And until I was in grade 10, my parents sometimes told me that if I marry a Muslim woman because of the Muslim culture, if you reach beyond 17, it is your obligation to get married. For me, I really don't want to have a wife early because I want to travel the world with them but I also don't want to tell them that I don't want to because I might be kicked out. What I always say is that I'm still young and I don't like that and I'll only get married when I'm ready.

            This is how I fixed or coped up with this problem by telling them that I'm transgender and I don't want to get married. The moment that I said that my heart just stop and realize that it’s done no more hiding because finally you said that and proud of it. But you can't avoid that they will still judge you and they will still not accept you because this is the culture of Muslim they don’t like gays or transgender because they believe that women are only for men and men are only for women and being gay is such a huge sin. There haven't been many significant changes in my life since I came out as transgender. I might hear somebody say, "Oh there is the fag," or something similar, as I pass around the school grounds. Because of the whole thing, I have had a few different friendship groups, but my two closest friends have stood by me and would always lend a hand to solve any issues. But in this situation is more likely I like because no more hiding just freedom like a butterfly and I will wait until my parents will accept me and be proud of me.