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Duke and damian are best brothers. I will die on this hill
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I'm a very big fan of the “one of the ways Batman fights crime is by making the bad guys afraid he could be anywhere”. The “he’s not in every shadow, but he could be in any shadow” thing.
I think it would be fun to mix that with the way the rest of the batfam is drawn when they're in shadows:




the glowy eyes and splashes of vibrant colour, especially with Nightwing's symbol looking like it's actually reflective.
So now I'm thinking:
imagine if Gothamites realized that dangerous people get really uneasy when they keep seeing things that, out of the corner of their eye, might look like a vigilante. To the point that they avoid areas where, let's say, an old poster on the wall is just that shade of yellow that keeps jumpscaring them every time they turn. Or that old trash can that still has a patch of green paint that hasn't peeled away yet. Not even realizing what makes them nervous, just knowing that a particular place makes them jumpy. Stuff like that.
So to keep themselves a little safer Gothamites just start… adding little things like that in their neighborhoods. Nothing that outright references the Bats - stuff like that might get vandalised or just lose the effect if it's recognised, but things like:
- plants on window sills in flower pots or vases in bright colors
- little shiny trinkets in the windows that just might be mistaken for a flash of a utility belt
- colorful curtains get very popular for children's bedrooms
- someone sticking a piece of blue reflective vinyl on a chimney visible from the street, so that as you walk you see a little flash of electric blue when the light from streetlights hits it just right
- people painting a pair of dots with glow-in-the-dark white paint high up on walls by fire escapes or in dark alleys, that look like glowing eyes
So basically I want Gothamites to invent protective charms and amulets which have exactly zero supernatural properties and aren’t intended to have any, but still very much work lmao
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Talia Al-Ghul the OG Fashion Queen
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Damians a daddy's boy, Damians a mommy's boy, damians a big brother boy.
Nah
Damians a grandfathers boy.
Look at him in that comic where he is on an island and Ras is teaching him? Grandfathers boy
His entire relationship with Alfred going from begrudgingly acceptance to the member of the family that plays chess with him and carries him to bed after a late patrol? Grandfathers boy.
Damian absorbs information like a sponge and is constantly learning.
Who better to learn from than people who have lived longer?
I bet he adores hearing Alfreds stories of his time as a British SAS or in the Royal secret service.
I bet he loved when Ras told him of animals that were around so many years ago and the look of stars before light pollution dulled them. (Ras canonically had a specific breed of wolf that saved him when he was younger that is now extinct, her name was Najia)
Damian wayne is a grandfathers boy, and I bet if he had a grandmother he would be the same to her
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Marvel making familiars for his loved ones
So I was thinking about Tawky Tawny (again). The thing about him is that he got so many different backstories or explanations on what he might be, but a common enough theme that we see is that he is a stuffed toy when he wants to be.
So here me out.
Tawky Tawny is Billy’s familiar and helps him adjust to his magic when he wants to use it in his small form. He was originally a toy given to Billy by his parents and later given life by The Wizard.
It came with more benefits. Tawny would eat his nightmares, be able to teleport to Billy’s location so that he could never get stolen or lost, protect Billy by going into his tiger form and all around be a constant warmth on his life.
So imagine Billy doing the same as The Wizard.
A lot of his friends aren’t magic users and don’t have the same magical protection he does, so maybe he gives them some enchanted clothing or pendants. A semi familiar (because without magic you can’t make a magical familiar pact with a living animal) where he just makes them familiars.
He would create stuffed animals, and weave in some magic to make them sentient. Maybe it would start with younger heroes, but when he realises his coworkers in the JL need the help as well, he absolutely would make some for them. They, like Tawny prefer to stay in stuffed toy mode, but will sometimes would want to stretch their paws and go into animal form once they feel like they are in a suitable environment.
Just picture it.
It all started with Raven, and the constant stress she might feel with having to constantly guard over Trigon. She can’t have a familiar because most creatures would suffer if give a link to her because her magic is not compatible like that. Captain Marvel decided to make her a companion. He makes her a little leopard wearing an elegant pink suit with a little top hat.
Raven: Is that a plush?
Cap: I heard you have trouble sleeping, so I got you a friend. I haven’t given them a name or pronouns, so that’s up to you.
Raven: … why
Cap: Trust me, they are for nightmares! Tawny *holds up his tiger plush* tells me they are fun to hunt and makes quite the sweet treat.
Raven: *holding the handmade gift* thank you 🥺
Cue shenanigans where she thinks he’s just trying to be a great den mother, and is a tad naive thinking stuffed animals actually work. Not that she isn’t holding little Ebony Darkness every night and is getting the best sleep she has in years.
Another thing to add is that insomnia and PTSD is a common sight within the caped community. And of course Billy notices that. So, after seeing more and more positive results of his plushies, he makes more and more. It becomes a trend. Younger heroes receive a small teddy of an animal and proceed to get attached to it almost immediately.
Nightwing almost cried when he got an elephant wearing a bow tie . Cap said that he seemed like the type to like them. Now Dick has given Zitka a little sibling to sleep at night with. But then that plush becomes fond of Zitka and gave the og elephant plush sentience.
Starfire absolutely adores her shrimp plush. Said something about being able to see colours together. Wally doesn’t know what to think about getting a turtle, but quickly gets attached, even putting little designs in the shell.
Jason also likes to put in patterns in his sting-ray, which Roy doesn’t get cause he thinks his jelly fish is perfect just the way she is. Lian gets a smaller jellyfish, which makes her happy because all the Outlaws get a sea animal.
All the members of YJ, even the retired ones, get a reindeer. They suspect he knows.
It gets back to the JL that Caps giving stuffed toys to their protoges.
Flash: Hey, Cap, how come we don’t get any stuffed animals?
Captain, exited his work is wanted: You want one!!!
Flash, can’t say no to that face: … yes I do
He gets all exited and makes plushies for all of his coworkers, that he pours a bit of extra magic in his work.
CM, fidgeting infringe if the door:
Batman: what is it Captain
CM: I made you something but then I realised that you wouldn’t really want it but then it could be cool if you did and I didn’t want to overthink-
Batman, stopping Billy’s rant: go ahead
CM, hands him a plush snake wearing spectacles: I thought you would like them. I haven’t named them so that’s up to you
Batman, not knowing where to go from here: … is the name important
CM, offended: It’s the MOST important
Batman sighs and keeps the snake. Naturally he does a billion different tests but finds it’s a snake plush. One that’s handmade. That must have taken a lot of time and effort. Batman keeps George Snaking. No he will not admit that having the snake wrapped around his shoulders is soothing.
And it just spirals from there. Hal gets a Sparrow in a poncho, Plastic man gets a kangaroo wearing the nicest boots, Wonder Woman gets a duck in a fancy dress, Aquaman gets a penguin in swim shorts, J’onn gets a lion in a toga … Guy gets a clown fish.
It has no rhyme or reason. The only common thread is that it’s an animal with some sort of clothing. Cap just says that of course they have clothing, they are distinguished and perfectly civilised individuals.
It all come to a head when the League faces some threat, and they are weakened, only for their plushies to fucking teleport and turn into massive version of their respective animals and saves the day.
Hawkwoman, starring at her bear: I- Mrs Snuggles?
Mrs Snuggles: *shrugs*
Shayera: … I could have been getting bear hugs this whole time
Guy: *looks down* Flippers?
Flippers: *flops on the floor*
Guy: ….
Guy: how come the others get bigger version of their animals
The League of Superpets aren’t that worried about competition. They tried to recruit the plush’s, but turns out they are just lazy. Like, they will beat a butch if necessary, but won’t actively go looking for crime to solve. They act more of a home défense.
The only ones who knew about the sentient plushies where Ma and Pa Kent (their Octopus is extent helpful around the farm), Alfred Pennyworth (he’s the one who actually requested hamsters to help keep the manor clean and keep an eye on his family) and Damian who’s instinct immediacy told him his fennec fox is alive.
Oracle got a capybara. The Capybara is the most powerful one Billy has made, second to Tawny. I don’t make the rules.
Constantine is the only one who never got one. Billy is still salty about him trying to steal his powers. Plus he would prolly sell it.
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Jumping on the Captain Marvel is a Predatory Animal and Familiar AU Bandwagon
All the Marvels have one animal they mostly resemble, naturally being linked with with their familiars.
Mary has Hoppy the Giant Hare, so it’s not her fault when she gets the extreme urge to punch someone, repeatedly in quick succession.
Freddy, for the longest time didn’t have one, but then found a magical creature in the rock, which is basically a an air jellyfish. He has never felt more connected. Like the Jellyfish, he refuses to go near the ground and shocks anyone too close.
Billy has his Bengal Tiger Tawky Tawny. No one thought much of it, Tawny is a perfectly civilised Tiger after all. If anything, it brought on an influx of cat jokes.
And maybe some cat traits slip into Captain Marvel. There’s compilations on YouTube of Captain’s ‘Cat Behaviour’ where he essentially just lied in the sun, knocks Sivannas things off shelves while maintaining eye contact, swatting Mr Mind repeatedly and so on.
An odd thing to notice is that his eyes are never truly one colour. Most of the time they are blue, sometimes with gold specks in them. But rarely, if you are unlucky enough, they will become more golden than blue.
Black Adam knows better than to fight when Caps eyes are golden and slit.
The other times these eyes makes an appearance is during invasions (everyone is too busy and thus miss Caps feral face), when Superman got exposed to Red Kryptonite (the fight was too fast for anyone to see clearly) and when Cap is in one of those hunting moods, when it’s just him and his prey (no one will believe them).
The day Cap found out Clark got exposed to Red Kryptonite, he will say it was a tough battle, and despised inflicting pain to one he considered a friend and close colleague. Inwardly? Cap LOVED every second of it. He could have blast him with magic lighting and called it a day. But where was the fun in that? He could use magic against all his villains, but just prefers not too. The Hunt was glorious. From the tracking him down, to move him to an unpopulated area (herding him), to the chase, the fight, to incapacitating him (having him squirm in his grasp). Had the JL not come in to get the Kryptonite out of Superman, he might have even taken a small chunk of flesh.
No one understands the extent of Caps predatory instincts. How could they? He’s Captain Marvel, family friendly hero extraordinaire. The closest people have seen is when he gets in serious mode, and even then, if it’s not directed at them, they tend to not be scared. (The amount of edits he got when he got serious, bordering predatory animal in hunt, nearly broke the internet.)
So no one saw anything coming when the JL did a team training exercise similar to hide and seek (and restrain) in a jungle of all places.
Can’t blame a guy for having fun.
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I love reporter Billy, but consider this: Billy becoming an architect to fix the Rock of Eternity (ROE)
Here’s the thing about the Rock. They used to have a council, people filling their halls and people who would maintain their infrastructure.
Now there is only a ghost of a (singular) council member and the new champion.
It’s also been who knows how many centuries or millennia Roe was renovated, and no one fixed them after the battle that led to the end of the council. So they are not in good shape. The wizard was holding on by a thread, that’s how damaged they were.
Billy, having grew up with Roe as their most stable place to stay, of course noticed. He’s read the books in the Library of Eternity, has seen the scriptures of the ancient civilisations and saw the carvings on the walls of the people who used to walk here.
Having grown up homeless, Billy knew the foundations of what makes a building safe to stay in. He’s even renovated a few abandoned apartments to make it livable once he’s learned how to use magic. Which in turn, may have inspired him to study architecture.
Roe is in shambles when they meet their new champion. Roe expects to remain in that state of disrepair for the foreseeable future. What Roe didn’t see coming is the sheer dedication of the child they helped raise.
A thing about Fawcette is that there’s a mix of serval centuries style through out the city, mostly because of time distortion and well as magic and runes instilled in the buildings. Meaning they have one hell of an architect program.
Not only does Billy preserve and off the natural foundations, but he also adds new designs, carved stone to incorporate beautiful pieces to adorn the halls. Adds new runes to help Roe sustain themself better, for the magic to run smoothly. Roe is no longer in shambles. No longer unpolished and full of grime a reminder of an ancient past, and starts to resemble more on how they unused to be. Cared for, strong and carved of stone.
Just, adult Billy as an architect. And using that knowledge + magic to fix up Roe. And Roe being an ancient sentient being that feels like they finally get to have multiple spa days after centuries of abandonment.
Also an architect has a way more flexible schedule than most jobs, allowing Billy to do his Champion and Hero duties at his pace.
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Homeoffice marvel
There's a meeting, Captain Marvel is unavailable (he's grounded for not doing his homework, but the league thinks he's injured or something) and Batman asks him to join the home office conversation through a notebook he received from the league
What they come across on Captain Marvel's camera is: him on an old couch inside a cave with HUGE PILES of treasure and gold, and every now and then a random CHILD, a TIGER or a DINOSAUR IN A SUIT, walking behind him
No one says anything so as not to interrupt the meeting, but when it ends and Batman asks if there are any questions, Green Lantern is the first to raise his hand and ask "Are the 7 children who passed behind the Captain his children?"
And the Captain frowns, "seven?" and when he looks behind the couch he has a terrified look on his face "DARLA I SAID NO CIVILIANS IN THE CAVE" he quickly leaves the frame and they listen to the discussion begin
Darla (?): But B, Pedro brought his boyfriend here yesterday and no one said anything!
Pedro (?): FREDDY BROUGHT HIS GIRLFRIEND HERE FIRST.
Freddy (??): I ONLY BROUGHT HER BECAUSE MARY HAD THAT GIRLS' NIGHT.
Marvel (B???): IS THERE ANYONE IN THIS CAVE WHO UNDERSTANDS THAT WE HAVE RULES FOR A REASON?! WE CAN'T BRING CIVILIANS IN HERE
As the argument continues, the tiger in the suit walks over to the couch and sits down in front of the league, "hello, gentlemen and ladies, I'm going to hang up on the Captain now, okay? I guess if there's anything else to discuss, one of you can update him later?
*A scream and things being thrown.*
Marvel: EUGENE, YOU'RE GOING TO PUT A DOLLAR IN THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE JAR RIGHT NOW!
The call ends.
Batman, writing down the various names he just discovered: Domestic Violence Jar… I'll write that down too.
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I feel like it would be so fun for a fan fic to delve into the idea of Damian being an actual prince.
Not just the heir to the league of assassins, but have the league be the private military force of whatever nation Ras Al Ghul runs. I feel like the most suitable place for the official kingdom to be would be Eth Alth'eban rather than nanda parbat. I'm pretty sure Eth Alth'eban is the forst location that Raa built and it makes sense for him to put his roots down there.
But you could also place them in nada parbat in the Himalayas or in one of their bases in the Swiss Alps.
I just think it could be so fun for Ras to be manipulating the world to be more earth and climate conscious by offering trades of whatever resource they have or training their soldiers or at risk royals/ important people who are targeted for assassination attempts. He can give one or all of these in exchange for climate activist and earth conscious choices in their government to be made. It would be slow going but I think he could get a good lot of people on his side.
I mainly want to see actual prince Damian for 2 reasons.
One.
Diplomatic immunity card shenanigans
And two.
Meeting royals at events and greeting them as old friends.
Just like
Damian being pulled into an FBI investigation for one reason or another, a kid at his school was murdered and they had an argument a few days before the kid disappeared. He had nothing to do with it, but got pulled into the investigation.
Obviously because he is like 10, Bruce goes with him, tried to play his usual stuff by throwing around money and using flattery, but these are no nonsense, stick it to the rich FBI guys (think Booth from Bones).
So they press for details and at one point one of the FBI dudes gets in Damians face and threatens that they find evidence that he did a crime and will make sure he is put away.
Bruce is obviously offended, first off, this is a 10 year old, second this is his 10 year old. He goes to kind of start flipping out at these guys and Damian just holds up a hand.
"I believe you have a call waiting for you from the State Department"
Right as the intercom buzzes and the agent on the other end is telling them they have an important call waiting for them.
State Department comes in, apologizes for how rudely the FBI treated him, and ensure him it won't happen again.
The agents are seething wondering how this snot nosed brat got diplomatic immunity, and Bruce is wondering the same thing.
"I am the heir of a foreign nation and have been tasked with many diplomatic roles in the past, it becomes necessary to cover your bases father."
Bruce is a little flabbergasted, his 10 year old child. His little boy is the heir of a foreign nation, not just the league, but the national power behind the organization. How did he not think he would be briefed for foreign diplomacy.
Two.
They're attending a gala when a young woman and a young man lightly speed towards their group.
The Waynes - Damian all groan thinking it's the young heirs to some wealthy family coming to try to make a business deal or get in their good graces when the girl bows lightly to Damian, greeting him in a different language completely ignoring Bruce and co.
Even more surprising Damian bows back, returning her words. Then moves to grasp arms with the boy accompanying her.
They speak formally, before the woman snorts lightly and elbows the man. They all relax after that, exchanging words with obvious sarcasm and teasing remarks.
Damian then turns to Bruce.
"Father I would like to introduce Bhasundara from the Dogra clan in the Himalayas, and he guard, a comrade of mine from training Ahsan. Bhasundara came to train with us after an assassination attempt on her 14th birthday, Ahsan went back with her as her guard and later her consort.
Bhasundara, Ahsan, this is my father Bruce Wayne, the host of tonight's event, and his wards Richard Grayson, Jason Todd, Timothy Drake, Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas, and Cassandra Cain."
"Taking a back seat to hosting I see Amiri. Did the Kargili clan traumatize you that much?" Ahsan laughs, smirking when Bhasundara elbows him.
Damian scoffs, talling the man off and leads them over to the desert table, pointing out the best desert for the group to procure.
Leaving his family baffled as they watched their littlest interact with not only a former member of the league that was here completely under their radar, but also a supposed heir to a clan in the Himalayas.
The more you learn
#damian wayne al ghul#damian wayne#damian al ghul#nanda parbat#the league of assassins#league of assassins#DC
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My personal crack headcanon is that one of the previous champions was Ra's wife, and he and Billy are weirdly casual about it. Like, yeah we were married but we’re just friends now. It was an amicable separation, but Damian still has to be respectful and call Billy grandma if he wants to hang out with Tawky Tawny.
Billy has asked Robin to stop at multiple points because he didn’t want to be anyone’s grandmother. Alas, the little boy never relented so Billy gave up. It’s still pretty awkward around other people though. Especially Batman.
Marvel and Batman: *working monitor duty together*
Damian: *appears out of nowhere* “Grandmother—”
Batman: *immediate confusion at the term, slowly looks to Billy*
Marvel: *very much embarrassed* “Yes, Robin.”
Damian: “…”
Marvel: “Yes, grandson?”
Batman: *looking between them*
Damian: “I would like to schedule tea time with Mr Tawky Tawny.”
Marvel: “Robin—”
Damian: *glares*
Marvel: “Grandson, I told you, you didn’t need to ask for permission.”
Damian: “And I’ve told you that I do. It’s proper.”
Marvel: “Yeah? Well, I stopped caring about it being proper like 500 years ago.” *cartoon logic, pulls out rotary phone from pocket and sets it on the table and dials Tawny’s number*
Damian: “Whatever you say, grandmother.” *takes the phone and starts talking to Tawny and setting up a time for tea*
Bruce later got an explanation for this, surprisingly in the form of a school project. Specifically a family tree. See, everything was going fine on Bruce’s side, but when he checked the Al Ghul side, why did he see a line connecting Captain Marvel to Ra’s?
Bruce: “What is this, Damian?” *points to Billy’s photo*
Damian: *looks at him like he’s stupid* “That’s grandmother. Grandfather and him aren’t married anymore though.”
Bruce: “Why isn’t your grandmother a woman? Also, why is it Captain Marvel?”
Damian: “Captain Marvel was my grandfather, father. Were not told this?”
Bruce: “No!”
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I think it would be so fucking funny if Bruce and Jason constantly treated Gotham (city) like a real person, and spoke about it in a strange, codependent way. Like, hearing this without a context definitely feels like they are talking about their girlfriends or something. And the rest of the family is, like, concerned.
Dick, just adopted: So, when I was in circus, we constantly travelled around! That's, like, so cool! Will we travel a lot, too?
Bruce, sighing: I used to, but she keeps calling for me. I can't really leave her alone.
Dick, confused: Your girlfriend?..
Bruce: What?
Bruce: Gotham.
Dick: whoa, WHAT
Bruce, sitting with a half-smile and little cake on the table: Good morning
Tim, who only used to see Bruce depressed during the whole year: Woah, it is someone's birthday?
Bruce: Of course. It is her day
Tim: Uh-h... Catwoman's?
Bruce: What? No, no, Gotham's?
Tim: ...What the hell. Sure.
Then Jason comes back, assured that he and Gotham are locked like that. They are besties. Gotham loves him — she brought him back. The rest of the family genuinely starts to think that both of them are specifically fucked up in the head on the level others aren't.
Jason: My life was rough, but she was here when I needed her the most. Her hands cradled me in life — then death. I am so grateful.
Damian, confused: Are you speaking of my mother, Todd?
Jason: Talia is great, but I meant Gotham.
Damian: Gotham?..
Bruce, passing by: Isn't she the best?
Jason: Hate to agree with old man, but, yeah.
Damian: *_*
Roy, staring at Jason, who is complaining on Bruce again after a patrol: Remind me again, why can't you work in another city? Even country. You love France. Move out!
Jason, frowning: There is no way I am leaving her.
Kori, confused: Her? You got a girlfriend?
Jason: ???
Jason: GOTHAM??? I AM TALKING ABOUT GOTHAM.
Kori: ...
Roy: Crowbar crowbar-ed a little close to the sun?
The Batfamily: (Voting to which city/country they want to have their family trip)
Dick, counting down anonymous voices: Alright, two votes for China. Three for Italy. One vote for Spain. And...
Dick, with his eye twitching: Two votes for Gotham. Really?
Everyone: (turn to Bruce and Jason)
Bruce and Jason, synchronically: Okay, hear me out—
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in the next batman movie selina is back in town to con bruce wayne which he knows but he missed her so much and obviously he can afford it so he just lets her
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I feel like Mary Poppins from the 1964 Mary Poppins movie sums up exactly how I expect Fawcett city to be.
Hyper competent
Very nice
A touch sassy
Magic out the wazoo completely casually
Goofy in the strangest of ways
Never explain anything
Anything that is explained only serves to make the experience more confusing
Everyone knows eachother somehow
Utmost respect for everything including saying bless you to dogs if they sneeze and talking with penguins and then making a dance number with them. All normal Tuesday activities.
Completely bizarre to anyone who isnt in the know
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Inspired by this post - Jason and Duke having glowy eyes and freaking Bruce out
Bruce: Have kids, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. I thought I was gonna shit my pants.
Dick: But they’re so adorable, aren’t they?
Bruce: Unfortunately yes.
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Dick, to the Titans: OK this is my little brother, everyone has to be so nice to him!
Jason, 6'4, built like a double fridge and holding a gun: Hey.
The Titans:
Years later.
Dick, to the Titans again: OK this is my even littler brother, everyone be super super nice to him!
Duke, 6'2, built like a linebacker and lit up like a glo stick: Yo.
The Titans:
Years after that.
Dick, again, to the Titans: OK this is my littlest baby brother, everyone has to be so sweet to him! He's a baby!
Damian, 18 and 6'0, made of pure muscle and holding a sword: Greetings.
The Titans: ...where are you finding these brothers.
#sorry Tim you're tiny you're not included#dick grayson#jason todd#duke thomas#damian wayne#DC#dc titans
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"Do I look like him?"
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Billy, Vicky Vale and Lois Lane all being kidnapped by the same bad guy
Said bad guy develops a fear of reporters
Billy, Vicky, Lois: *sitting, tied to chairs in a circle*
Vicky: “So… who’re you guys?”
Lois: “I’m Lois Lane. Reporter. I’d shake your hand if I could, but they’re bound behind this chair.”
Vicky: “Really? As in the Lois Lane? I’m a reporter too. Vicki Vale.”
Lois: “The one and only. I’ve heard of you too. Your pieces are always so fun to read.”
Vicky and Lois: *both look to Billy*
Billy: “Uh… Billy Batson? Also a reporter.”
Vicky: “Really?”
Billy: *nods head*
Lois: “Say, you’re tiny, so can you run around getting scoops way more easily than an adult could?”
Billy: “Yes actually.”
Vicky: “Niceeeee.”
*silence*
Lois: *ropes on her chair go slack and stands up* “I suppose we should get out of here then.”
Five Minutes Later…
Lois, Vicky, Billy: *walking through a hallway, chatting about reporter stuff and run into Sivana*
Sivana: “Wha— how did you get out?!”
Vicky and Billy: *point to Lois*
Sivana: *pulls out raygun and tries to shoot at her*
Vicky: *throws a hand mirror at him and smacks him in the head*
Billy: “Nice aim, Ms Vale.”
Vicky: “Thank you, Billy.”
Just to be petty, all three of them stomped him out before leaving. They also exchanged numbers and now hang out. (The girls talk while Billy nods along eating whatever food they bought him)
Bonus:
Batman: “What are you doing in Gotham, Captain?”
Marvel: “Oh, I’m here to see Vicky.” *points to her building in the distance*
Batman: “…Captain, if she wrote a piece on you, I can just get rid of it myself.”
Marvel: “What? Why would she do that? We’re friends?”
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