akwardhumansoul

[akwardhumansoul]

Soooo my mum yelled at me for being fat and I'm crashing out and I really really want to disappear into thin air because i don't feel as confident and my mum said im fat again and.....and....and idk man, college starts again tomorrow and I so many pretty, thin friends who would look so nice in any outfit they wear and I'll look like all broad and bulky next to em' with my huge pouch for a belly....nice 🙂

[akwardhumansoul]

When I sat

on my cold apartment floor

and took off my shoes

off my swollen feet,

red at the soles,

chipped at the heels,

the apartment was dark

and cold

and there was no other source of sound

other than me,

i put my shoes aside

and stared at my feet...

and realised

that in this world of mine

it's only ever been me.

[akwardhumansoul]

Unpopular opinion, Blue Lock season 2 was not all that bad, the last episode was epic, y'all were shittin on it so hard i thought it was gonna suck ass but it was quite good actually, sure the frames were not as fluid but damn the voice acting and visuals were good, it still packed a punch, y'all hatin too much.

[akwardhumansoul]

So I tried watching and getting through Tokyo Ghoul√A (season 2) and here’s the problem: I watched Season 1 of Tokyo Ghoul back during the pandemic—yep, five years ago—and I’ve been so darn interested in Tokyo Ghoul:re. But I stopped midway through Season 2 because I genuinely wanted to pull my hair out. Kaneki just suddenly decides to join Aogiri Tree, and I was completely confused as to why. It honestly felt like a “oh Kaneki went emo” moment, and that the plot forced him into Aogiri just so he could be dark and badass. As if he couldn't possibly do that while staying in Anteiku.

The stakes felt so forced, I was disoriented and confused through the first three episodes—and then I just switched it off. I couldn’t believe how exhausting it was to watch. And the season only has twelve episodes! A 12-episode season should feel thrilling and leave you craving more. That’s what made Season 1 so good. I could physically feel the pressure building in my brain—yes, physically—when I watched this season. And now it’s happening again as I try to rewatch it.

The season isn’t bad, but it’s also not good. I feel like I’m watching it because it’s supposed to be good… but it just isn’t. I still don’t understand why watching this season gives me this weird, literal pressure in my head, like my brain’s on the verge of exploding. It’s like I’m watching out of obligation because I can’t just skip ahead to Season 3 without finishing Season 2.

And for some damn reason, I hate Mado’s daughter. Yes, I get that she’s his daughter, but her presence is so sudden. I just sat there thinking… what the hell is she doing here? I get that you want revenge, but why so Byronic? Sure, you’re grieving, but damn—you’re too cold. I don’t understand you at all. How on Earth am I supposed to sympathize or relate to her?

Also, why are the ghouls barely speaking in Season 2? There—I said it. Why am I seeing so many forced “daily life” awkward conversations between the CCG officers that are taking the story nowhere? Like… we get it. They’re human. They’re hurt too. That was already established in Season 1.

I wanted something badass from Kaneki. He’s changed—so I want to know how he’s changed. What’s different about his insight, his thoughts, his purpose? But I haven’t heard him talk for a while. Why is he so silent? Why am I seeing internal conflict shown externally with broody stares and shadowy shots? Why aren’t the ghouls talking?! I’m so tired of the humans in this season.

I was really hyped for Kaneki’s shift in character here, and now I’m just sitting there wondering, “So when do the juicy parts start? When will we get that gut-wrenching, goosebumps-giving monologue like in Season 1’s unforgettable Episode 12?” But no—it’s starting to feel like Season 2 is just a dry well with a few nicely hashed-out fight scenes and ghouls who’ve been tragically muted.

And while we’re at it, why are you even showing me Anteiku? Don’t. At least don’t show Touka. It would have been more impactful for both Kaneki and the viewers if we were reintroduced to her after a long absence, so we could go, “Damn. Kaneki really left some damage behind.” But nope—there’s no room to wonder. Actually, there’s no room at all.

The character development in this season is as dry and tasteless as a cheap cardboard cutout. No—scratch that. The characters are cardboard cutouts. Sorry not sorry, but I just want Kaneki to speak. Say something. Did the production team that year not have enough money to pay Kaneki’s VA?

Who the hell is the main character this season? Am I seriously watching Tokyo Ghoul, or am I watching a fan-made series by a 13-year-old who just discovered the word “emo” and thought slapping on monochrome shades and 90% black outfits would make the story “edgy”?

Give me some colour, man. And not just any colour—meaningful visual storytelling. It’s not even gritty and grey in a meaningful way; it looks so damn clinical. Season 1 had colour—so much colour—and it still felt dark and gritty. Season 2’s palette is just greyscale, overly moody, and unnecessary. I want to go get colour therapy after watching it.

If you stare at the scenes long enough, you might start thinking you’re going colourblind. What is this—Fifty Shades of Grey, but make it anime? Dark grey, blue, black, depression beige? Give the city its colour back, man. Even The Office has more colour variety.

At this point, it’s like watching Tokyo: Corporate World, not Tokyo Ghoul. All I see are men and women in dull suits with briefcases playing death ballet with fancy kagunes, while mute ghouls stand around with the emotional depth of a chicken sausage.

[akwardhumansoul]

Sometimes I feel like I've got the worst luck ever, we are on the same boat, that person has done as much as I have but they fare better than me because hey! They've got better luck than me! I hate life, I hate everything.

[akwardhumansoul]

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[akwardhumansoul]

USEFUL WEBSITES FOR WRITERS

Writing With Color: Helps with writing about culture, ethnicity, and religion. Overall, it gives advice on how to write about diversity.

Name Generator: As the name says, it helps you build names for your characters. Very useful if you cannot think of names for your characters!

KathySteinemann: The 'archive.pdf' section helps you with synonyms in case you struggle to find the right word for your sentences (also to avoid using redundant words).

Spwickstrom: Similar to the previous one, this one provides grammar tips. Extremely helpful when finding phrases, verbs, conjunctions, adjectives, and so on.

Servicescape: The perfect website if you're experiencing writer's block. It provides writing prompts. It helps you spark creativity when it comes to writing.

reblog to help other writers !!

[akwardhumansoul]

This site looks wonderful? Copied their link list below for anyone who'd rather stay on Tumblr to preview what they offer.

Starting writing

Blank Page Blueprint

5-Minute Freewrite

More than a Muse

A Field Guide to Your Imagination

Write-alongs

Idea Help

100 Story Ideas

100 Flash Fiction Prompts

52 Romance Story Ideas

30 Scene Ideas for Plot Development

30 Scene Ideas for Character Development

30 Scene Ideas for World Development

Idea generator

Story Building Tarot Spread

Genre Help

Choosing a genre

Genre mindmaps

Plotting Help

How to use a Plot Formula

How to write a novella

One Page Novel Plot Formula

The Fool’s Journey

Escaping a tight spot

Plot hole worksheet

Plot twist worksheet

Ticking clock

Mini-quests

Try/fail cycles

Increasing conflict

Adding action

Creating suspense

Writing Help

How to finish your novel

Opening scenes

Creating mood

Creating metaphors and similes

Generating title ideas

Deciding point of view

Scene writing

Dialogue help

Writing a synopsis

Creative writing reading list

Blogging while writing

Novel in a month notebook

Google Docs for writers

Creative writing toolkit

How to export your Scrivener timeline

Character Help

Quick character creator

30 scene ideas for characters

Character quirks

Killing characters

Love your antagonist

Character motivation

Making trouble for characters

Couples worksheet

Naming characters

Choosing a narrator

Writing emotions

Expressing thoughts

Creating villains

Making decisions

Character occupations

Worldbuilding Help

City building

Technology worksheet

Creating magic systems

Politics

Rites and rituals

World history

World geography

Setting

Writer Help

Becoming a writer

Differentiating yourself

Creative writer worksheets

Creative writing syllabus

Writer’s self assessment

Getting unstuck

[akwardhumansoul]

When i binge watched season 3 and 4 of Demon Slayer and came across the announcement of it's triology i realised that a lot of big animes with huge fanbases are coming to an end too like MHA and JJK, like not an "end" end but more like the beginning of an end, I'm pretty sure that in the next five years these animes will have released their final episodes and we'd have new franchises and anime series coming along, after all gen beta will also start existing from next year which is not so far in the future btw and seeing so many things change and grow and come to an end makes it all a weird and slightly sad experience for me, is this what growing up is like? Idk

[akwardhumansoul]

What is lonelines?

Is it to be a monochrome existence ?

In a world that's bleeding colours?

Is it the helplessness you feel?

When there is no one left to live for?

Is it your blood turning an obsidian black?

Dripping from the cracks of your heart no one can mend?

Is it the creature that lives in your head?

What is scarier?

is it it's melancholy question it howls?

Or the way it echoes back yet no one answers?

Loneliness is an experience that teaches you resilience

That teaches you to fight your own wars

That teaches you to be your own sheild

But is loneliness worth the laughter long gone?

Lives no longer lived?

Dreams no longer dreamed?

So I will ask again

What is lonelines?

And what is it's worth?

[akwardhumansoul]

doot doot

...?

[akwardhumansoul]

Day 1 of college struggling to make friends, any tips on how to get along with people?

[akwardhumansoul]

Fan Mail

For #mayprompts2024.

Still catching up with past prompts, after a detour yesterday to write Good Omens crackfic! Chapter rating G, prompt: secret.

Sherlock gets an anonymous letter from a fan.

Unrepentant fluff.

-----------------------------------

"A secret admirer? Bit primary-school, isn't it?"

“It’s obviously meant as something of a challenge.” Sherlock rose from his chair, holding the single sheet of paper in one hand. “What” –theatrical pause –”can the world's only consulting detective divine about the person who wrote this letter?”

“I don’t know, what can he?” John barely glanced up from the latest copy of Sport.

“Well, start with the grossly obvious. Written with a common biro – the sort you might pick up at any display of sundries, most likely purchased for this specific purpose –”

“How d’you clock that?”

“You can see here, at the initial capital D, that the pen did not produce a visible line at first. But the ink doesn’t skip after that, so the pen was not near the end of its useful life, but rather beginning it.”

“Right.”

"The text is printed carefully, without distinctive quirks of letter formation.”

“Printed?”

“Possibly the writer is unaccustomed to using cursive script. Rising generations barely write by hand at all. Even signatures nowadays are commonly stamped, and prescriptions, as you’re well aware, are transmitted electronically. Or,” Sherlock flourished the paper over his head, “the writer was simply disguising his or her handwriting, or seeking to produce the impression it required disguise, though he or she clearly had access to a home printer -- the paper is the sort sold for the use.” The sheet held in front of the nearest lampshade: “No watermark or other irregularity –  intensive chemical testing might identify manufacturer, not likely to tell us much about the author though –”

“Fingerprints?”

“I have already fumed it with ninhydrin. Almost certainly the writer used gloves – the thin, sensitive nitrile variety which we both employ professionally."

“And what does this man, woman, or person of unspecified gender have to say? Last secret admirer was Moriarty. Can do without that.”

“The sentiments, disregarding the anonymity itself, seem innocuous. I’ve read every word of Doctor Watson’s blog… his regard for you seems genuine and deep – you’re blushing, John.”

“Bit awkward hearing something like that read out loud.”

“Oh, it gets better – it so often appears that you discount your own humanity, your caring heart, when it shines out through every word of the doctor’s narratives – John, you constantly romanticise me for effect –”

“I just report.” 

“– despite your efforts to paint yourself as a soulless thinking machine. I hope that one day you will be able to see yourself as others do – as someone precious and worthy of love – and I hope that one day you find it, and this, and that, yours sincerely, a devoted admirer --"

A slight tremor entered Sherlock's voice. "And you, John, did an absolute rubbish job of concealing your authorship of this note.”

“Excuse me?”

“You might have remembered that I am perfectly capable of discerning patterns of sentence formation, punctuation and cadence, and that I religiously read your blog.” He extended the letter, now refolded, between two fingers. “Or, as you would say, busted.”

“Erm.”

“You weren’t trying very hard. This was posted at the Royal Mail office in Eastcheap, near which we spent a pointless hour two days ago assessing a scene that ought to have been as plain to the responding officers as a Powerpoint. Once it became clear our efforts were superfluous, you vacated the area briefly to, as I recall, ‘go for a piss.’”

“Did need to.”

“You might have been dropping a trail of breadcrumbs. Also there is the new biro on the end table, and a fresh packet of standard envelopes on your dresser, where I noticed it when I borrowed a pair of clean socks yesterday.” Sherlock sucked in a deliberate breath, as if steeling himself. “In short, John, you have gone to a good deal of trouble to send me a painfully transparent letter of – devoted admiration. It hardly seems the subject for a joke.”

“It’s not a joke, Sherlock. I – all right –”

John stood, the letter in one hand. “I am – your devoted admirer. And sometimes – I mean, often, I – you get so prickly about what you call sentiment –  you say you don’t have friends –”

“I believe I revised that assessment shortly thereafter.”

“ – so I don’t know how you’d react if someone said. All right. Here goes. I love you, Sherlock Holmes.”

John’s eyes were closed, so that Sherlock’s fingers prying the letter from John’s hand, replacing it with his own, evoked a start of surprise.

“Why bother with this, then?”

The long fingers twined more firmly between John’s.

“I suppose to give you a little plausible deniability. If you still weren't interested in – feelings.”

“That would have required denying my gifts as well, John. Of which, I may say, you are the most precious and least deserved.”

“I’d like the chance to talk you out of that last.”

“What would you propose, John? Not to get ahead of ourselves, but –”

“What about a long conversation over dinner?”

“Angelo’s?”

John raised Sherlock’s hand, barely grazing the knuckles with his lips. “Ready in fifteen.”

[akwardhumansoul]

Ego and Rage is such a dangerous combination because I've got this rage inside me that I can't seem to tame because my Ego is a dragon that's spitting out this fire in the form of rage, it roots from hurt, hurt that I can't be as extraordinary as the next person, with a sharp mind who effortlessly builds a fortress of talent and sucess while i struggle with the foundation itself, hurt because I'm only reminded of my failures, hurt because it's hard to cope with something someone else can do and get reprimanded for it. Hurt of being alone and not being able to mix with one crowd or another, Hurt, Hurt, Hurt, Hurt, so hurt to the point the only thing left is my ego and anger.

[akwardhumansoul]

It's getting harder to find bl manhwas that have respectful characters in them, the "dominant" male lead usually takes up the mc's personal space, manhandles them and makes it look sexy, there is a lot of dub-con or straight up assualt that is romanticized and they never mention it in the tags, the character designs for the mcs' are heteronormative, slim waist, petite body structure, feminine features men don't have, yes men can choose to be feminine but they don't completely lack masculine features. If the MC were a woman instead then the author would be facing so much hate. I think the authors of such manhwas/novels subconsciously think that unlike women men can never be assaulted in any way or form, hence such questionable character sketches for thier ocs'.

[akwardhumansoul]

So are Nuns' who take up celibacy are like Aromatic Asexuals?

[akwardhumansoul]

If a person had come across an onion for the first time and cut it open and their eyes started watering because of it, how come they didn't think it could have been poisonous given it had caused discomfort to cut open the onion itself?