alainapenguin-blog

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how 👏 do 👏 you 👏 document 👏 real 👏 life 👏 when 👏 real 👏 life’s 👏 getting 👏 more 👏 like 👏 fiction 👏 each 👏 day 👏 ? 👏 

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Stage managers are not nannies, dear; they don’t have the talent.

Prologue: “The night smiles,” A Little Night Music (via outofcontextbroadway)

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On the Argo, probably

Percy: Hey Frank, could you pass the syrup?

Frank: Sure

Percy: Frank you

_

Percy: Hey Annie, there's a spider on your shoulder

Annabeth: *freaks out*

Percy: anna-bet you didn't see that coming

_

Nico: Jason, did you move my jacket?!

Percy, popping out from behind plant: Nic-oh no he didn't!

_

Jason: *eating spaghetti*

Percy: here's a napkin Jason, you have something on your grace.

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When you have to argue with an illogical person

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Death by begasuslu

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Quite The Accurate Description

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Me when I’m trying to sneak eat someone else’s food.

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My Creative Writing Class

Friend One: *randomly starts slapping my hand*

Me: What are you doing?

Friend One: *doesnt answer*

Friend One: You have sharp nails. *violently rips of my finger nails and throws then at the friend behind us.

*friend one and I turn to our other friends*

Friend Two: Look you can choke yourself with your own neck flab!

*friend two and friend three demonstrate choking themselves with their neck flab*

Friend One: *pulls out glitter glue* Give me your arm.

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This gave me hope for humanity in a weirdly gross way...

funny thing that happened today

i went to the toilet at uni and a girl came in right after me. so we were in the stalls and there was this awkward silence of ‘who’s gonna go first’. I decided to go first & started peeing, then as she joined in, there was this super loud fart that came from the stall she was in. she immediately stopped both peeing and farting. like it wasnt supposed to come out, the fart betrayed her. now if it was me, id be embarrassed so i thought maybe she was embarrassed too. there was another awkward silence…so i decided let out a loud fart as well, to give her the message that it’s ok, there is nothing to be ashamed of. like shrek once said “better out than in”. i think she got the message because few seconds later, she let it all out. she farted like her life depended on it, like she had been waiting for this moment all her life. i could feel the relief as she let it all free. it was amazing

long story short we’re fart friends now ((im not sure if she knows it tho)  and never be ashamed to let your ass play its anal acoustics freely

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What video game character do you feel you can relate to the most?

me: