alchemiccereza
alchemiccereza
AlchemicCereza
11 posts
21 ✧ Sapphic who writes for the ENA community ✧ NSFW 18+ Content
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alchemiccereza · 5 days ago
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My Interpretation of ENA's Halves
This is absolutely going to be nothing groundbreaking but I wanna ramble into the air about this fixation lol.
To me, ENA's halves are not two separate beings, I think that's a common consensus. Instead, they represent a psychological theory of the Id and Superego specifically. (long post)
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Staring with Series ENA, she's got very digestible halves. "Sad" versus "Happy." This happy side is the palatable side, the one that's easier to talk to and reason with. She is our superego. The superego is defined as the part of the brain/personality that basically follows societal rules and what moral/authority figures taught you. It is the side of you that would keep your impulses, fantasies and emotions in check, criticizing them and their expressions. It is a direct contradiction to the Id. Could be known to keep the Id in check.
Our Id can be described simply as our impulses. Caveman thoughts, even. Sigmund Freud, the creator of this theory, described the Id as "the dark, inaccessible part of our personality." Also interestingly enough, he claims the Id to be responsible for human desires to procreate and cause death/destruction. Which, in turn, makes me think of Series ENA's constant wishes for her life to be ended. Almost everything her sad side says reminds me of things that may be thought but are inappropriate to say in society.
Sad Ena is loud, she is almost unfiltered in how she says exactly what she's thinking and she is dramatic. She's not known to mince her words when it comes to her suicidal ideation. She just says it all with her outbursts.
Meanwhile, in Auction Day's intro to her character, you see her express excitement, then "glitch out" and reveal the other side of herself who just absolutely shuts down any idea of fun. Like they are in conflict with one another. After her outburst, ENA glitches again to return to her happy side and makes a dissatisfied or maybe embarrassed grunt before apologizing for her behavior. Like she failed to keep the Id in check properly and now faces social repercussions.
Now for the ego. It's described as a "reality principle." It represents reason and common sense. "It seeks to find a balance between the natural drives of the id, the limitations imposed by reality, and the strictures of the superego." Freud describes the ego as having three masters: the external word, the Id and the Superego. Moments when ENA calls reality into question may be indictive of her ego, a proper blend of her two other halves, her Id (Sad) and Superego (happy). When she says Moony's joke was odd in Auction Day and even Drunk ENA's rant in Extinction Party where she says, "What are you even saying? Everything here is so weird..." The ego is also described as a sense of self, which I believe is really important especially for Temptation Stairway and it's ending.
Now, happy ENA still says odd things, she speaks in long winded sentences or uses hefty words like "salutations" or "could I inquire how your physical form was able to reach this place in such a short duration of time" and I want to suggest that maybe this is because she is lacking a proper ego. Her happy side/superego is very rule and manner bound, possibly even seen as suppressant to her sad/Id side. The ego would take the desires and impulses of the Id, the structure of the superego and the reality of the world into account as the most conscious function of the mind.
Correct me if I'm wrong but Temptation Stairway might be the first time we hear ENA's voices unbound by the sides she has. She speaks in both voices for both reactions and I take this as an "ego death." From what I understand, lol, an ego death is a fundamental change in your mind/psyche. Described as "temporarily experienc[ing] a complete loss of subjective self-identity." To me, that sounds like what happens to ENA in Temptation Stairway. Her voices and in turn, her sides meld together, harder to distinguish and shown to the viewer by the occasional swapped tones. Now, ego death has also been closely related to "The Hero's Journey." Hopefully you're familiar with that rudimentary writing trope/tool from school.
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Joel G intended for Temptation Stairway to be the series end. This is when ENA goes on her hero's journey. Moony calls her to adventure, climbing The Great Runas to make a wish. She enters the threshold through the blue mannequin and faces trials from Ulysses, The Shepard, Phindoll and Mariya & Gabo. The abyss? Perhaps all the Holy Code she jumps into, particularly when we see the floating mannequins/ENAs. Probably linked to Ulysses' warning of "failing like the rest of them." During this episode is also when we get introduced to a fully saddened ENA, her Id run rampant who never speaks, only screams and flounders around in agony, only snapped to her sense by another force- by force.
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Now, here's where things get tricky. Moony nor ENA comment on ENA's transformation in the hall/bedroom of The Great Runas. We know Moony got there first, we know she was the one to make a wish and we know what she claims that wish to be. But there's also a debt to pay. Due to the nature and SFX of "primal/human" Moony, I believe that's the debt. Admittedly, when I first got into the show I heard the theory that Moony wished for ENA to be happy since she's seen how much her sadness and self destructive impulses have taken over. Being a good, yet humble/emotionally distant (for lack of better term) friend, Moony doesn't want to explicitly tell ENA that she made a wish in ENA's favor. Is that correct? I dunno. Can anyone say for certain anything about this fuckass show? Point is, that's the lens of which I view Temptation Stairway's ending.
ENA's boon was meant to be harmony, of some sense. For the Id to be relegated to her subconscious where it belongs so that she may function more easily under the guidance of her ego and superego. She has a stronger sense of self, perhaps even shown to us by the continued prevalence of both voices despite the pure yellow/happy look she's adopted.
Now... that being said. We have Power of Potluck. ENA has regained her blue side and it now appears almost growth-like from her face. It is almost a separate being, conversing with ENA herself and even guiding her around a few times like in the pipe room. Her Id and Superego have once more- and maybe even more than before- found themselves at odds with one another directly. The mask/Id take everything at face value, seeking enrichment and instant gratification while ENA/the superego seem to question the nature of things. "How can a chore like this jollify someone anywho?" I do want to mention that this episode of course seems very heavy on being themed around the act of "masking" and I don't want to seem like I am discrediting that. I'm simply throwing my red string and pins up on my board for fun.
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In the end, Power of Potluck also follows the hero's journey to a more emotional/existential degree this time around. Her boon this time is an acceptance that she needs both halves of her to go on- that life cannot be lived without sadness and happiness in conjunction. Of course, we can also interpret this psychologically that we need our natural impulses and desires as much as we need human society's structure. ENA has taken this journey herself and taken her boon herself, returning to Moony with a more proper ego. I say she has properly attained her ego because of her reaction to the strange man. Ego, again, is the part of our mind that judges and analyzes the world to help us form proper interpretations and how to respond, guided by reality, the Id and the superego.
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That is a judgmental face if I have ever seen one- a rare sight on her. This is the most judgmental we see her too, going so far as to place her hands around her face as if checking to see if what she's seeing is actually happening. Moony even comments, going, "Whaat?" before she eats (?) him.
All of her responses at the end of Power of Potluck are cohesive, she judges and examines the world without breaking into a fit at the first sign of opposition or oddity. I believe through a self transformation of her own mind during this episode, ENA found how to properly exist and has "rebirthed" her ego to work in conjunction with her Id and superego.
If you couldn't tell, I am not a psychology major. I took a class in high school lol. This is just me babbling out how I've taken her dual personalities as extensions of herself. I will never perceive either of the ENA's as anything but separate displays of one full self. I adore how Joel's work is so fun and yet makes me think, even if I may stretch an idea and be off the mark. It's the beauty of art and absurdism, that nothing makes sense or necessarily has true meaning. It is more important what you garner from it.
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alchemiccereza · 5 days ago
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Guys forgive grandma (me) if I format shit wrong... Tumblr is a new posting art to me
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alchemiccereza · 5 days ago
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Gotta say it here too. You're COOKING with that third chapterrr
THANK YOUUU, always a pleasure to hear you're enjoying!! I won't lie, I have really weird beef with Coral Glasses so I was excited to do my own spin on the idea of being jealous of Ena and Coral Glasses. Plus, making the reader a pathetic sapphic at any chance is soooo fun. Like yeah you're/she's assertive enough to not be stepped on or take too much shit from others but she/you will also absolutely go out of your way to get a cigarette just so you can appease your... three night stand-situationship-crush.
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alchemiccereza · 5 days ago
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This kind of reminded me of your fan fiction. Hope you'll like it 🥰 ❤️ ✨️
youtu.be/Tvd0B5qm0qA?si=7f5_aRNONcSjqZds
Oh I see what you mean! Definitely, the imagery of a more spooky/radically dramatic Ena aligns with my "Refraction" story. Always so fun to see that side of her explored in any way, thanks!
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alchemiccereza · 7 days ago
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HOW THE HELL WE GOT AI PORNBOTS AND NOT FUNCTIONAL PRINTERS???
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alchemiccereza · 8 days ago
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Using my girlfriends favorite words trend but for BBQ Ena it's some dumb shit like: Rebate? 🤩 Growth opportunity? 😍 Gross margin of profit? 😋
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alchemiccereza · 8 days ago
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I'm going to explode her with my mind for existing
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alchemiccereza · 8 days ago
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I don't think I'm physically able to write a continuous fic without plot. The plot demons grab me and yell "Think of the drama!!" and I do. So I write 4k words of messiness before you get to slam clams again.
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alchemiccereza · 8 days ago
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Absolutely adored "Refractions In Water Below"! While I occasionally get to see beautiful artwork of webseries ENA (and sometimes game ENA) being uncanny or scary, I haven’t seen that many writing pieces that explore that potential both ENAs have! Again, everything was beautifully tense and it honestly makes sense reader would be seen and treated as a pet rather than a partner on equal footing. Marvelous work! ☺️ 💗 ✨️
Thank you a ton! Yeah so a big push of inspiration came from a tweet I saw and was like "oh hell yeah, this has a market." Just because, exactly as stated, she's never really had something of her own and since most x reader fics need to be somewhat "isekaied" into her world, I figured it would be a perfect blend to explore that idea. She's the most reliable entity you've found and it would be a gamble to leave her. She'd probably love that you need her, hence why she starts to think of you kinda like a pet.
I think Series Ena's volatile and more cleanly juxtaposed halves just makes for great tension. Plus the fact that she is not human. I like to throw little comments into my x reader fics to remind you of that; that both ENA aren't familiar with the same manners, metaphors, acceptable behaviors as a human society would have taught you. It's nice too because each writer can decide how much to push that idea for their own stories and I think that's neat!
But thank you again! I will take any chance to ramble about writing and my thought process with it! Glad you enjoyed. :D
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alchemiccereza · 8 days ago
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Love me some War!Ena, call her my Weena
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alchemiccereza · 8 days ago
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"Refractions In Water Below"
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Series ENA x Fem Reader (could pass as other too) Warnings/Tags: Toxic Codependence, Mild Sexual Content, Possessive Behavior, Broken Bones, Stockholm Syndrome Word Count: ~1,000 Excerpt A03 Link ENA is Joel G's... sorry for what I've done sir
“Well this… is certainly fascinating.” The lower voice speaks, close to your ear. More than a hushed whisper but less than a declaration. Her eyes, mismatched but united in her intrigue, watch you move. She watches your chest rise and fall, looking for the miniscule movement of your heavily beating heart. She likes when your form changes for her.
She sits above you, the right half of her hair acting as a curtain, to keep you contained and hidden. Only for her eyes. Her left hand borders you, like a trap. You can see past it but you will not reach those sights. Ena smiles, her head tilting with rapt curiosity. With the darker arm free, she trails firm fingers along your body. You had let her explore innocently at first. Probably weeks ago now. That's all it had been. Innocent. Until she realized that you depended on her here. That you might have needed her. She was more than pleased to need you just as much.
Her fingers heavily trace over your still clothed body, dragging over your clavicle and then over your breast. You can't hide the tiny tremor in response, a response she drinks up greedily. “Such expansive connections, eclectic reactions.” Ena laughs with pleasure as she tears her gaze from your body to meet your eyes. “And to think- they’re all for me!” Her voice is hushed, like it's a secret she's sharing, but the excitement ripples through her tone.
You take a shaky breath. You're sweaty. A little nervous. She's been great at keeping you alive in this weird hell but she's been growing hungry. That's the best way to describe it. You would grow scared and she would assist you. Protect you from these things you don't understand. Yet, as time passes, you begin to feel like she looks at you like more of a possession than a person. She's protecting a part of her property rather than another life.
Ena’s blue hand presses harder into your breast, making you gasp in pain from too much pressure. She drinks in every twitch of your muscles, the way your face pinches in your discomfort.
“We're so similar… you and I. Visually abundant in our feelings and yet so misunderstood.” She leans in very close to your face. She smells artificial. “May I see every facet of your being? I want to understand.”
You don't even understand what she's asking. She's elusive in her words, intentionally or not. “Ena… you're touching me too much.” You say, your voice dry with apprehension. She might not be your friend here. You were too naive to cling to the first lights of hope in a world like this.
“Too much?” The blue side asks. Your stomach tightens slightly at the whimpering tone. She is unstable. You are not the same. You cannot predict this anomaly. But she leans back again, basically sitting on your lap and no longer boxing you in. Breathing comes easier now. Her mouth switches back to the yellow side, ever blankly smiling. “I can be patient with my indulgences.”
She giggles quietly, to herself. She's so pleased, so happy to have you in her palm. To know you won't… can't abandon her. You have tried once before. Ena is fast, her limbs detachable and this is her turf. At least… She is keeping you alive. That's all you can ask for now.
She lifts up her blue hand and shields your eyes from the light behind her. You don't have much choice but to look at her, unease making home in your joints. But she watches you closely, her expression soft and innocent. “How intriguing…” Her palm moves so that light can hit your eyes directly again. You squint just the tiniest bit as your eyes adjust. “Maybe we are hard to understand.”
Her hand moves again and you realize she must be watching your pupil dilating. She moves her hand a few more times to try and understand the changes in your eyes. Eyes are the gateway to the soul after all. You swallow thickly underneath the anomaly. Your emotions towards her are mixed. Hard to detangle and understand for she herself is hard to understand. She’s always been unpredictable but now that she’s basically your guardian here, it makes your situation more risky.
Ena laughs softly and moves above you, stretching her legs back and laying her head on your chest. She smiles up at you, her blue hand gripping your waist gently. There’s a tense moment that passes in silence. She can probably see your thoughts running rampant in your head, smell the anxious perspiration your body sheds. It’s hard to gauge if Ena is dangerous. Even after all this time here.
“It’s beating faster again.” The female voice muses softly. She looks so gentle, so full of curiosity… you muster a smile and nod. “Yeah. Hearts… do that.” A part of you yearns to be understood, maybe a part of you accepts what you won’t verbalize or even think in your mind. You’ll leave eventually. So don’t tell her how to read you. It’ll just cause problems. But… Ena is sweet. She doesn’t understand human conventions or boundaries or even really emotions. She’s treated so poorly and you’ve already broken her heart once in an attempt to leave. She just needs patience and time to understand. She’ll get better. 
✴ Full on Archive of Our Own ✴
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A/N: I will learn to format on here... maybe lol. I just wanted to cross-post so the Tumblr freaks (affectionate) can enjoy too and since I decided I'd rather conduct my Ena tomfoolery on a more content worthy app.
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