alex-the-farmer

[alex-the-farmer]

Nuh-uh you came twice as many times as I did (5) that’s more than nothin

@alex-the-farmer im castrating u

[alex-the-farmer]

Not a very nice thing to say to the creator of your three children but alright

@alex-the-farmer im castrating u

[alex-the-farmer]

doesnt farm life feel like it fuckin sucks?

- @moxietheuncalculated 👾

yeah well you'd know all about suckin seein all the cocks you suck on all the time wouldn't ya

[alex-the-farmer]

*pulls out a shotgun and points it to a baby cow*

GIVE ME MONEY BEFORE THE COW GETS I-

*gets hit with a frying pan*

OW WHAT THE FUCK

YEAH GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE THATS MY FUCKEN COW

COME BACK AN ILL HIT YOU WITH SOMETHIN THAT'LL CAUSE A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT MORE DAMAGE THAN JUST A PAN

[alex-the-farmer]

Awww someone’s hormones are kickin in

Stop by once it starts kickin please, I wanna be there for for that and I’ll probably have the nursery done by then, we can start pickin stuff out for the little ones room

How much you need this month for child support

@alex-the-farmer

what if i fed u to ur own pigs

- moxie 👾

[alex-the-farmer]

When are we selling the pigs for meat. Number 10 and 11 keep trying to knock me over.

@alice-the-kleptomaniac

//ooc

I had this problem in Ag. class and couldn't wait to send the mfs to slaughter

alrigt so uhhhhh 10 is big larry and she doesn't go anywhere, shes the big mama, prolly just thinks ur cute and wants to snuggle with you or somethin I dunno.

11 is on his way out tho, fucker bit me yesterday

[alex-the-farmer]

did u get the apples i sent u?

- @moxietheuncalculated 👾

the ones with the note that reads "dear alex go fuck yourself"?or the ones with the note that says "alex have my babies plss"

im not mad just curious

[alex-the-farmer]

awwww mad cuz ive never given you a demonstration? s cute how desperate you are for me

stop eating shrimps with the whimps and cone eat lobster with a monster

nah ill stick to eatin pussy instead thank ya kindly

[alex-the-farmer]

stop eating shrimps with the whimps and cone eat lobster with a monster

nah ill stick to eatin pussy instead thank ya kindly

[alex-the-farmer]

Do some of the cows, pigs, horses, chickens, and dogs have names?

Can I also name one of them "potato"?

uhhhh that kinda depends?

pretty much all the horses actually belong to people in town, they just lodge them with us and have us care for em since they don't have land, so they have names and we cant really name them ourselves

the dogs also all already have names, I'm not a monster. they arent pets but that don't mean they cant have names

some of the cows have names, mostly the social ones or the ones born on the farm that I helped rear. just cuz ya get attached and you cant really help it

uhhhh none of the pigs are named cept the big fat one, shes larry

and mostly of the chicksn dont have names, but if your gonna name one of them pick a hen cuz the roosters don't uhh stick around long if you catch my drift

[alex-the-farmer]

(Wow. I really am doing a bad job of keeping up... I didn't even notice half of the people I know in real life on here had made accounts... Embarrassing. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm fully taking the 'social' out of social media.)

I was doing a bit of reading and found out how to make treats for different animals. (I already do a lot of cooking and baking and the like for one of my jobs, so I guess it just came to mind.) I'm thinking of doing that in preparation for the next time I'm on the farmlands. I've looked into what everyone there can't eat, but is there anything you just try not to feed them or anything they particularly like?

~ @crimson--phantom (Clara Loveday.)

don feel bad Clara, shit happens. i ain't near as active on here as I could be, but runnin the farm takes time and there's only so many hours in a day

bout the animals tho.... it depends on them individually I think

like this pigs will damn near eat anything they can get their mouth around, so I try to just keep plastic n shit away from em. i try to keep em on a more healthy diet since they can be a lil piggy sometimes heh

uhhhhh horses? i follow a good diet for em, standard stuff, but for treats usually fruits, things like apples, bananas, melons, that kinda shit

oddly enough the cows really like turnips for whatever fuckin reason. don't ask me why or how, I don't fuckin know

and for the chickens sometimes i find bugs to throw to em. not sure how you can cook anythin with that, but they do like their creepy crawlies

oh and for the dogs i usually give em cooked chicken as a treat. chicken bones are too brittle, so I usually boil those for broth rather than feedin em to the dogs, but they can have cooked chicken. not to much tho, I'm afraid they'll go after the live ones if they get to much of a taste for it

[alex-the-farmer]

tHanmk youu Clare u are teh bets !!!!!!!!!

are u like an alcoholic

- @moxietheuncalculated 👾

only in the ways that matter ;)

[alex-the-farmer]

that’s my name don’t wear it out

are u like an alcoholic

- @moxietheuncalculated 👾

only in the ways that matter ;)

[alex-the-farmer]

what ever you want it ta mean bby ;)

are u like an alcoholic

- @moxietheuncalculated 👾

only in the ways that matter ;)

[alex-the-farmer]

are u like an alcoholic

- @moxietheuncalculated 👾

only in the ways that matter ;)

[alex-the-farmer]

alex you are the funniest blog on this website. may i have your hand in marriage

clear three fields and get the horses to like you, then we'll talk

//OOC

teehee thank you for saying im funny I also think I'm the funniest person alive I think my jokes are amazing I'm glad you do as well

[alex-the-farmer]

As a person who lives on a farm and sees them every day... Do you still get happy when you see a cow?

hell yes i do! those things are so stinkin cute! specially the lil ones

runnin the farm is hard work, but I do genuinely enjoy it. there's lots of perks townies just don't understand