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every character i love ★ nick miller (new girl) “i’ve decided to give up on women and put all that energy into tomatoes.”

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important PSA about when your car is smoking

like literally smoking from the engine

white and you smell pancakes? it’s the coolant. panic and pull over, but you’ll live

a slight blue tinge? it’s the oil. panic and pull over, but you’ll live

grey, looks like fire smoke? gasoline; the most combustable and dangerous. pull over and leave the vehicle, pray.

sharing because i didn’t know this when my car started smoking white yesterday and i was so afraid for my life.

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Dog owners please be aware.

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proposed new holiday: valoween. combination valentines and halloween. take a monster on a date

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Addams Family Values (1993)

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I needed this today.

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This is a result of the inhumane decisions that members of this administration want you to be silent about in public for fear of a loss of “civility”.

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remember when fyre fest happened like a year or so ago and there was this article where the attendees complained about how shitty it was but there was this one middle class dude who won a ticket through like a lottery or something and had the time of his life because rich people suffering is great. i hope y’all remember it is today’s mood

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Why does everyone in workout videos look like they're trapped in 1997?

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“Did you put your name into the Goblet of Fire, Harry?” Dumbledore asked calmly.

The word ‘calmly’ can hold different meanings in different circumstances. If you were to pass someone a bucket of water calmly when their house was burning down, it could suggest that you were the sort of brave individual who was always prepared to combat the sources of arson when they occur. If you were to ask a nervous bank teller to fill a sack with money while calmly pointing a gun at their head, it might mean that you were the kind of villainous person who practiced such odious and criminal activities on a regular basis. Or if, like me, you were to sit calmly typing the next chapter of your chronicle in the lives of some unfortunate young children, while all around you the kitchen of the reputable restaurant that you were hiding in was slowly filling with sand, it would indicate that you have a life that is often filled with peril and misfortune, and that you were bound by duty to complete your task, no matter how miserable.

Of course, the word ‘calmly’ is never used to indicate a person flying into a rage and shouting your words angrily. ‘Angrily’ is in fact an antonym of ‘calmly’, an antonym being a word with entirely the opposite meaning of the original, such as ‘villain’ and ‘volunteer’, ‘birthday party’ and ‘tragic fire’, or ‘author’ and ‘happy person’.

Now, obviously, a well-read and distinguished director of cinema would never mistake a word with its antonym. That would be preposterous, a word which here means ‘create an incredibly out of character scene and confuse the audience.’

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FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR DOG, DONT SCROLL PAST THIS

IMPORTANT! Gravy Train Dog Food was had a recall.

The food was tainted with and contains euthanasia. 

Source: (x)

A bunch of dogs, including my own, eat Gravy Train. It’s a very affordable wet canned dog food, so many people buy it. and my dog has to eat it because she’s lost most of her teeth and can’t chew.

Please, SIGNAL BOOST THIS! 

Even if you don’t have a dog, your followers probably do, and plenty of them are at risk. You could save a life.