ambersnake

[ambersnake]

If you put a dish in a dishwasher, it gets washed. If you put a shirt in a dishwasher, it gets shredded and breaks the machine.

If you put a shirt in a washing machine, it gets washed. If you put a dish in a washing machine, it gets shattered and breaks the machine.

Maybe you are not weak. They just put you into the wrong washer.

[ambersnake]

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

[ambersnake]

welcome to the Murdersex zine, a zine celebrating all things sex and murder. but um. we don't want to romanticize it or anything so don't make your submissions too murdersexy. we will do extensive background checks on all applicants and if we decide a past work of yours has too much sexy murder we'll have to remove you, sorry. we have limits, you know, we want a tasteful gory spread you could put on your coffee table, and having the Wrong people in it would kill the vibe (and we condemn all killing! wholeheartedly!)

[ambersnake]

i love the phrase "sex pervert" like. as opposed to what? abstinence pervert?

[ambersnake]

You know, of all the fandom discourse I was expecting to see on my dashboard for the month of August, "a kink meme whose content guidelines are so restrictive that a shot-for-shot remake of a sex scene which appears in its ostensible source material would be against the rules" genuinely wasn't on my bingo card.

[ambersnake]

did I tell you guys how much my boss spent on food delivery apps last year

[ambersnake]

In theory, maybe I get the “we’re all just playing with barbies, they’re fictional characters, no interpretation is incorrect because it’s an interpretation” argument. But actually no, not all takes are equally valid. Framing something as an interpretation doesn’t mean it inherently has merit. Some takes are completely incorrect and betray a fundamental misunderstanding of the source material. They just aren’t a reason to harass people or send death threats

[ambersnake]

every day is a struggle

[ambersnake]

Sorry if this is too kinky but can you hold my hand and tell me i mean a lot to you.

[ambersnake]

sometimes i think the only difference between me and my dad is that i think everyone on tv is gay and he thinks they're all secret assassins

[ambersnake]

[ambersnake]

I'm at a :.|:; for words.

[ambersnake]

i love the specification of "alive" in the people magazine "sexiest man alive" award. clearly they're worried about ötzi the iceman sweeping the competition. as they should be.

[ambersnake]

[ambersnake]

these human creatures have strange customs. some are nice tho

[ambersnake]