archmaguseirving

[archmaguseirving]

I for one believe demonic pacts are a valuable lesson in growing up amongst the arcane but perhaps my values are now seen as archaic!

Remember, wizard kids, just say no to demonic pacts.

[archmaguseirving]

No surprise at all! If the housing market was a society, your HOA would be the pestilent scourge that rots its foundations. You call those people human? Nay, they’re urchins and scamps; worms that writhe and shit and eat and pride on the gloom of displeasure.

Rotten.

Every once in a while I think maybe it's time I should try to do something about the weird portal to a hellish dimension that appeared in the refrigerator, but then I remember that I don't feel like it.

[archmaguseirving]

So you live there, but it’s not truly your own dwelling then? You poor miserable slime… you deserve so much better. Cannot even have your own company over, you may consider petitioning for slime rights!

Every once in a while I think maybe it's time I should try to do something about the weird portal to a hellish dimension that appeared in the refrigerator, but then I remember that I don't feel like it.

[archmaguseirving]

Lucky for you I know a spot of chronomancy! We’ll make them believe they just got to your establishment!

So… hm… what kind of infiltration skills do you bring to the planning board?

Normally I make people spin the wheel to decide what their job should be at my restaurant but I lost my hell portal summoner in The Accident and I really need one because health inspection is next week. If you know how to summon portals to hell, or know somebody else that does, get in contact with me.

[archmaguseirving]

Harrison Wood Hsiang

[archmaguseirving]

I think you and I could work together to acquire such a rift in spacetime.

What say we join forces and infiltrate @unexpectedly-wizardposting ‘s arcane dominion?

Normally I make people spin the wheel to decide what their job should be at my restaurant but I lost my hell portal summoner in The Accident and I really need one because health inspection is next week. If you know how to summon portals to hell, or know somebody else that does, get in contact with me.

[archmaguseirving]

Something most assuredly will grab you. You are not safe - I am your best bet for survival!

But maybe I could just come look at it - just a quick peeksies - an ol’ in n’ out operashun!

Every once in a while I think maybe it's time I should try to do something about the weird portal to a hellish dimension that appeared in the refrigerator, but then I remember that I don't feel like it.

[archmaguseirving]

he needs it….

[archmaguseirving]

Very companion shaped.

[archmaguseirving]

Impossible, due to discovery and being: you will never be nothing!

I’m lost in the sauce (scrolling mindlessly until time and space have lost all meaning and I am a puddle of nothing at the foot of creation)

[archmaguseirving]

You seem like a wise slime fellow, I’m sure you can bring reason to them!

Just consider all the snacks inevitably being pulled into that hellish dimension after all.

You should convince them to let me in. I am very trustworthy!

Every once in a while I think maybe it's time I should try to do something about the weird portal to a hellish dimension that appeared in the refrigerator, but then I remember that I don't feel like it.

[archmaguseirving]

You should invite me over to collapse that, or transport it somewhere where everyone around it will most assuredly be safe!

I promise I can be trusted wjth your weird portal to a hellish dimension that appeared in the refrigerator!

Every once in a while I think maybe it's time I should try to do something about the weird portal to a hellish dimension that appeared in the refrigerator, but then I remember that I don't feel like it.

[archmaguseirving]

Pleasantries, creature! Welcome forth unto prime-materia.

say hello. he is shy.

[archmaguseirving]

You are truly helping love find its way my gelatinous stranger.

So apparently that evil version of me from another dimension who tried to kill me a while back and that cultist who plotted to sacrifice me to his eldritch god have hooked up. Huh.

[archmaguseirving]

[archmaguseirving]

😒

Tired of locales like this…

what is the FUCKING POINT then???

[archmaguseirving]

This one GETS IT.

I love chain lightening what a classic spell. fuck you and you and you and you and you and