#wizard posting

[teathattast]

[th4t1guylol]

I'm sorry, what?

Something something horseshoe theory.

My question is, what do the weird anti-kink people do when they discover they have a kink

do they just like

pretend everyone else likes feet or hair or McDonald’s playplace mascot statues or whatever exactly as much as they do

Or is it more of a Catholic denial-of-the-self sort of thing

[gollygeewhizard]

The only TikTok I know comes from the great clock which counts the seconds until my inevitable demise.

[truewizardfacts]

the problem with modern spell books is that every wizard and mage wants to add a story at the beginning so it seems like their spell has more depth and history behind it but in reality its mostly just the basic level 1 spell you get from the back of the cereal box

[devious-buffoon]

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

[pluto-the-accursed]

BY CASTING COOL ASS SPELLS AND WEARING THAT WIZARD $WAG

Guys how do I become a wizard

[good-wizard]

I CAST!

WALL OF SKULL ANGLE!!!

[sirartwork]

[the-shredded-cheese-wizard]

Conjure cheese *opens my mouth*

Your wish... IS MY COMMAND

[siley-the-wizard]

INCONCEIVABLE! @unhinged-goblin what should we do?

Who up stirring they cauldron?

[redavexat]

[a-squirrel-wizard]

A vicious spell but sometimes necessary

[telltaletypist]

look all i'm saying is if you've ever seen someone be healed with magic, congratulations! you've witnessed a practitioner of necromancy. it's the exact same thing. all you're doing at a fundamental level is using magic to accelerate existing biological processes and animate tissue, the only difference is when you do it to dead tissue instead of living tissue, suddenly it's evil scary ~dark magic~ instead of good wholesome healing. it's purely cultural bias.

so no i don't think it's fair to say i "lied on my application" since i'm just as qualified as anyone to heal your party, but hey if you want to be a fucking narc and report me to the wizard council go right ahead. good luck finding an accredited healer at the wages you're offering by the way

[archmaguseirving]

No surprise at all! If the housing market was a society, your HOA would be the pestilent scourge that rots its foundations. You call those people human? Nay, they’re urchins and scamps; worms that writhe and shit and eat and pride on the gloom of displeasure.

Rotten.

Every once in a while I think maybe it's time I should try to do something about the weird portal to a hellish dimension that appeared in the refrigerator, but then I remember that I don't feel like it.

[dungeon-vault]