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my mental state this past week

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I've gotten some great advice from the Ao3 Reddit page, and it's led me to come to terms with something.

I write fanfiction. It's for fun. It's my hobby. I don't get paid for it. That doesn't discourage me, but I've been needing a bit of a break after stressing myself to finish up chapter eight of my WIP. I'm in the middle of it, I'm not too happy with it, but I feel like I can't touch it because of an update schedule I put on myself.

Instead of my original goal of triple uploading every month (which is kinda insane now that I really think about it), I'm gonna post much slower. While the triple upload thing was great when I could crank out chapters that fast, I can't really do that right now, so I'm gonna take it slower.

Please, don't take this as me giving up because that's not what this is! I'm just letting myself get back in my natural write when I have mega inspo groove. As soon as I stop feeling so much pressure and stress over this chapter that I, myself, have caused, I'll be able to edit it to how I like it and post it when I'm happy with it.

Thanks for your understanding!

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CRIMSON PEAK FIC PSA.

It's a small, little thing, but I've come to announce it, no matter how insignificant, just so there's less confusion.

I was working on chapter 8 of my fic, A Waltz Into Crimson, when I came across a problem I've been putting off. This issue caused me to remove a single sentence at the end of chapter 5. I won't get into the issue's specifics due to spoilers, but I would like to be transparent to my readers considering I'm so thankful they even found my work worthy of reading to begin with!

That's the only edit I'll be making to the content I've already uploaded. Chapter 8 will be posted sooner or later, and I assume you'll find out what this little issue was if you have an incredible memory.

Please, keep enjoying! If any more edits are made, I will definitely post about it if I feel it's worth the PSA.

To all of my wonderful, surprising readers that have gotten me 86 hits so far, I LOVE YOU. THANK YOU. 🙏🏻

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Okay so........ I'M ONLY HUMAN.

A MOTIVATED HUMAN.

This wild motivation I've been dealing with is crazy and very helpful. So crazy, in fact, that I've already brewed up another long story idea.

I KNOW I CAME UP A LITTLE SHORT LAST UPLOAD (A Waltz Into Crimson), BUT LIKE HEY, IT'S BETTER TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE PROJECT SO YOU DON'T GET BURNED OUT.

Not that I'm burned out, of course, this is just a joyful, preventative measure :)

New little story idea belowwww!!!!

I haven't written much of it but a few paragraphs, but hey, here's a lil summary I whipped up after a lot of brainstorming the plot!

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Summary:

The most mischievous divinity has a toddler. The most assiduous mortal has one too. Chaos ensues. What more can one ask for?

A lovely fic about a single, trans dad trying to get through all kinds of life (love life, work life, everyday life, the nine) while raising a ten month old. Loki stumbles across this trying man and is intrigued. Why not keep him company as their kids have a playdate?

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I know some aren't about that child life, but I definitely like cute little stories about it! Apologies if this isn't your thing, but if it is...

Just know something's swirling up in this mind behind the screen >:)

This is supposed to be a long form, I don't know what kind of burn fic? To be clear, not a oneshot. I'm still plotting and stuff, but that's the only finalized bit.

Lemme know if this is something you wanna read! I'll post the intro I have if you're curious!

OH. And mega canon bisexual and genderfluid Loki vibes! You're welcome :)

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I was born in the right generation, I love Loki and gay people

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❗AVOID THESE PEDOPHILES AT ALL COSTS! ❗

I was scrolling through Tumblr and came across a post of KNOWN PEDOPHILES ON TUMBLR (many of which have or want to rape actual children/minors)

THERE ARE ACTUAL PEDOPHILES ON TUMBLR TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH MINORS ON TUMBLR

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THIS LIST AND KEEP OUR MINORS SAFE

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APOLOGIES FOLKS 😔❤️

Due to a lot of testing and illness, I haven't progressed as far in my fic, A Waltz Into Crimson, as I might have hoped this month. I usually do triple uploads, but I was only able to get a single chapter out this time.

I'm still working on the beginnings of chapter 8, but chapter 7 is posted on my Ao3 as we speak!

Even if I'm still a little disappointed I couldn't keep up with my uploads, I'll have you know chapter 7 is my absolute favorite I have written so far!

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do, and please, forgive me for my transgressions! 😭

Hopefully, chapters 8 and 9 that were supposed to come out with this one will be released sometime soon!

If you haven't already, read my pride and joy, would you?? (Heavy on the PRIDE ✊🏻😈🏳️‍🌈)

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MY STARDEW VALLEY HOUSE DESIGNS ‼️‼️

They aren't fully upgraded or anything, but I liked some of my decorations and wanted to share!

Can't tell which one I like the most, so I guess I just like a mix of the rooms! However, the first picture is the one I play on more, and the second one is from my very first playthrough!

Tell me what ya think? (Ignore my daughter's room in the first picture as I decorated it before realizing I needed to move things for her crib 💀) (The pink office chair was ofc in the house at the request of my fruity ass husband ☺️ Did not want it smack dab in the middle of my living room, sooo)

And yes, I WILL LOVE ELLIOTT FOREVER, HATERS! 😈❤️🧡

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Being trans is not my entire personality by any means. I have plenty of hobbies, interests, dreams, and ideas that aren't exclusive to just that part of me. That being said...

I go through life as a trans person with that lens. A trans lens. When I talk about things, they go through my mind, and I make connections based on my experiences as a person.

It's just nice to have people that see the world like I do. When I talk about something as general as my writing or something as niche as my special interest towards a queer figure like Loki, even I don't pick up on subtle trans connections in my words sometimes. But, it's always nice to have it click for someone anyway and say, "Oh, yeah. I actually totally get that."

Of course, going through life and my every day, I interact with a lot of cis people. I have many cis friends, which isn't a bad thing, and I certainly don't view it that way! But, just having one more trans person around and getting me in that way no one else does is refreshing.

That's just a little thought I had today. A little solidarity I wanted to get out and let loose. I know I'm not the only one, and that's nice to think about sometimes.

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Long time no see c.ai update?? For my page, that is!

I've posted a brand new WLW Lucille Sharpe bot if anyone is interested! It was made for a friend, which is why it's different from my usual focus!

Here's some details if you'd like to find out what it's about! ↓↓↓

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Tagline: 🦋 She somehow become fond of her maid. (WLW)

Greeting: "{{user}}, dear," Lucille called from her piano. Her face was positively straight, letting no emotions settle clearly on it. You walked into the common room, standing a respectful distance beside her as you awaited her request.

She always spoke to you this way. Cool, calm, collected. At one point, it wasn't so plain on her features: how she was always watching you, how she never wanted you out of her sight, how much she... had gotten lonely. She thought she was clever—and she mostly was—but you could see that emotion more than anything. It had only gotten worse over time, and you wondered why her solution was always keeping her guard up around you.

"I find myself quite cold. Fetch me a coat," ordered Lucille, her fingers never stopping the sad, sinful tune. She barely looked at you, keeping you on edge. "And two cups of tea. I'm parched."

You stood straighter, as if there were a punishment around the corner for you. That cold tone of Lucille's was never gone for long, but when it sharpened, it was extremely evident when it came back. Daringly, you responded, "Of course, my Lady. Might I ask who the second cup is for?"

Her fingers stopped. She slowly turned her head, a dark mist behind her eyes that you could get lost in if you tried to search for the secret behind them for too long. "For you, dear."

•°•°•°•

This is an AU where the incest from the canon is removed! Other than that, the canon details remain (you can decide whether it's before or after Edith).

I hope you enjoy! Link :)

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You ever hear that old chestnut about how most people neglect the part of the story of Icarus where he also had to avoid flying too low, lest the spray of the sea soak his feathers and cause him to fall and drown? You ever think about how different the world would be if Icarus died that way instead? If the idiom was to Fly To Close To The Sea? A warning against playing it far too safe, about not stretching your wings and soaring properly? You ever think about how Icarus died because he was happy?

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Ummmm so I had an idea and I wanted to share! I love talking about my interests, and I think this is a very good way to do it. I also thought the cup was wonderful for the picture idea 🤭

So, here it is! Most of my interests that seem to never quell! (Although I'm letting someone borrow my Song of Achilles book and I don't have anything Outer Wilds related yet 😓)

If you also love these interests, I LOVE YOU. I love to talk about them, so feel free to lmk ☺️😈

REALIZED I MISSED SOME THINGS AFTERWARDS, SO I MIGHT POST ANOTHER COOL PIC LATER 😎 (and the tags show some I missed)

(the only editing that was done was blurring the background in Ibis Paint ❤️)

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:-( Died in skull caverns again.

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My farmer Vic is a veteran and fought for a few years in the Gotoro-Ferngill war. I always thought he and Kent would kinda gravitate toward each other, being the only war veterans in town and all that. Kent didn't know that Vic was a fellow veteran when he introduced himself, he heard about it later from Sam. And when he asked if Sam knew what faction or rank Vic was Sam responded with "I think he mentioned it had something to do with explosives" and Kent went "ah, beret squad" because in the ferngill army specialists wear berets with their uniform and other factions, especially the infantry, semi mockingly call them the beret squad. Jodi just went "please don't start calling him that"

And then the next sunday Vic and Kent ran into each other at Pierre's and Kent immediately went "hey, beret squad". Vic just saluted him and said "corporal".

They don't talk about the war much since it's not exactly a fun topic, but they both always had a mutual, silent understanding between them. They definiely use more army lingo around each other.

Then one night Vic went to the stardrop saloon to relax after a hard day of work and ended up sitting with Kent. The night went from some light drinking and talking to getting a lot more drunk than either intended and laughing about funny service stories. I think after enough drinks and in a company that Kent can truly relate to he starts to loosen up more. The other patrons were a bit surprised at seeing Kent be this upbeat. Eventually they went outside for a smoke and started to get a bit more sentimental about all the friends they've lost and what war really is like. They sat in silence for a bit listening to the crickets and sharing a bottle before Vic stood up and poured one out to their fellow fallen soldiers. Kent didn't say anything about it but he appreciated the gesture.

They sang a few army songs, probably a bit too loudly, before deciding to head home. Vic walked with Kent to his place. Jodi woke up to them arriving (they were a but too drunk to be subtle about it despite their efforts) and she didn't trust Vic to be able to get home all by himself, even though he insisted he was fine. But she didn't budge and woke up Sam to make sure he gets home safely. Sam complied but while walking Vic home he was like "isn't it weird that you're my friend and you're also partying with my dad?" And Vic was like "no I'm old enough to be your dad" and Sam went "Vic you're 10 years older than me. No you're not."

Sorry to all the followers I suddenly got from making bully content because I might get back to drawing my stardew valley farmer oc again. (Don't worry I'm not abandoning Crow)

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Shells | Part 21 (shelliott stardew fic)

all parts | <- previous | next ->

so happy to be back!

Patreon here!

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I used to have like.. no motivation, so I don't know where all this is coming from...

I'm still very into writing my current fic, A Waltz Into Crimson, after about three months of planning and posting it, but now I'm getting a little overambitious after writing six, and a little bit of seven, chapters of it!

The urge to write some good Elliott fanfiction is ABSURD. I've already talked about that little Hayato one too.

There's so many things to write about!!

I just need to get all these things out of my head, and in doing so, maybe help someone else find something specialized and personalized that they love too.

I don't have very many ideas for an Elliott fic tho 😔 (Elliott from Stardew Valley, ofc 🥰) So, I'll definitely need to think about that one a lil more...