b3anbean

[b3anbean]

couple kissing on building steps

1970s

[b3anbean]

Darling, I am just a painter. (Part 1)

Travis Bickle x Reader

A/N: SOOOOO I had a bunch of other plans for this but decided to chop it up to make a shorter two chapter thingy. Anyway, it's terrible. BUT I need to practice my writing and just start putting it out there. (This is a continuation of my blurb if you haven't read it yet, I recommend you do first! But not totally required. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LIKES BTW I APPRECIATE THEM ALL!!)

TW: Obvious toxic obsessive behaviors. Mentions of past self harm and mental issues. Possible PTSD. I'll try my best to write it in the ways I am familiar. SMUT. Reader is drunk the whole time but she wants it ok!! Lossofvirginity. Travis feels entitled to the reader too just so ya know.

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You are a 22yr old starving-artist in NYC 1976 barely surviving by living in your friends walk in closet in Manhattan.

You’ve been friends with Travis for almost a year. You’ve developed strong feelings for him but haven’t had the courage to tell him. Instead hoping and waiting for him to notice you.

One day he urgently needs to talk to you. But it’s only for him to confess how he has fallen for a girl named Betsy. And to get your advice about it.

After Travis tells you about Betsy you begin to distance yourself from him heartbroken.

Until one day after a gallery opening that you invited him to, he doesn’t show up. Even though he promised a month ago and told you he asked for the day off work. 

You drown your sorrows in alcohol and get the nerve to go over to his place and give him a piece of your mind.

Takes place the night before he has breakfast with Iris. So it may seem a little off but just pretend it’s the night before. 

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“Are you sure this is where you want to be dropped off?” Your friend who offered to drive you home from the party asked puzzled. 

You glared up at his apartment building. His light was on.

“Yeah, it’s a really bad area. I thought you lived uptown?” Your other friend said to you with concern in her voice. 

“No it’s cool. I’m here all the time.”  You hadn’t been there in a month though.

As you got out of the car and thanked them for the ride. You firmly held a bottle of expensive vodka with a little bow in your favorite color. It was meant to be a gift for your first show. But you had a third of it already on top of other drinks that night. They said goodnight to you and to be safe and call them in the morning. But none of it registered as you got in the building ready to start climbing the stairs to his floor.

It’d been days, maybe weeks. Not that he’d care.  All he could think of was that prissy bitch. As if her stuck up ass would even think of him like that. You took another swig of the vodka. Trying to forget about seeing them out together.

She was really beautiful. Like those girls in commercials who look too perfect to be real. 

That’s probably why he liked her. He’s just like any other man. 

And why he didn’t like you. At least not romantically.

“Open the door you lying asshole I know your home.” You banged on his door falling against it.

“Bet your with that skank.” You said leaning against the door. 

“Bet she has super nice skin. Not all cut up.”

His apartment building was really not in the best conditions. All you had to do was stick a bobby pin in the keyhole. Not as if any thieves would care to rob anyone in that building. Thieves probably lived there. You stepped in, seeing nothing out of the ordinary other than a bunch of dead flowers all over the place. 

It was unsettlingly silent. Empty. He wasn’t there.

The room felt as if it was spinning. You carefully set the bottle down on his small dining table/desk. Your eyes then landed on an open journal. His journal. 

If you weren’t drunk you wouldn’t touch it.

But you were so it didn’t matter.

His hand writing was so messy. And his grammar was awful. You flipped through it until finally you were able to find your name.

She asked a lot about ———— . 

I wonder if ————- could tell her about me.

Betsy talks about ———- like a celebrity. 

———— is really cool. She lets me touch her. Not in a weird way. I just...well I don't know. I wouldn’t say she’s the nicest. But she is not bad at all. She’s different. Complicated. It scares me. She scares me. Like when I was a kid and the electricity in the house would go out during a storm and it'd be dark all night.

——— has never given me the look I’ve seen in others when they talk to me. I like that. I like when she’s around. Even if she scares me. 

I’m sure she’d like Betsy too.

You threw the journal across the room then made your way to his bed. Well, more of a cot. It never looked comfortable. The booths at the diner had better cushioning.

But it did smell like him. The nausea you were feeling went down as you closed your eyes laying your head on his pillow that was a sleeping bag.

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It may have been an hour or two. Or even just a few minutes. You were awaken by the door opening. Suddenly a headache hit you and you just buried your face into the pillow wanting it to stop. Barely remembering you were in Travis' apartment. So it must've been him opening his door. You were still too afraid to face him. What would he say or do finding you here? Probably nothing.

You then heard a click and a small gasp.

“What are you doing here?” Travis said, there was a sternness to his voice. You didn’t look at him. Just continued hiding your face in his pillow. Unbeknownst to you that he’d pointed his gun at you. 

“I got lost on the way home.” You lied. 

“You shouldn’t do that. I could’ve mistaken you for an intruder.” He sounded shook up.

“I am. So now what? You going to shoot me?” You joked. Unaware how upset you made Travis just then.

“I mean a stranger.”

It’d been a month since you’d seen him. He still gave you that floating feeling even now while you were drunk. Maybe you were just really drunk.

“What’s so bad about me?” You finally lifted your head to look over at him. He was wearing his cab jacket. He looked paler than usual.

“What?” He responded smiling. Confused at your question.

“I bought this new dress and new boots for you and you didn’t even notice. I even had my roommate do my hair. She’s a professional hair dresser.” You began rambling feeling dizzy.

“What? Why? Here get up, I’ll drive you home. I gotta work.” He pulled at your arm attempting to lift you, at the same time you felt his other hand on your hip before you shoved him away. 

“Fuck you. I’m fine right here. Why don’t you just go stay at Betsy’s?” You said annoyed covering your head with his pillow. The room got quiet again.

“Oh, she…wasn’t who I thought she’d be.” Travis said with some frustration in his tone at you bringing her up.

“Hmph. You both have that in common.” You mumbled into the pillow.

“What? What do you mean?”  He sits himself down next to you, not sure if he heard you correctly. You ignore him.

“How much did you drink?” He places his hand on your calf and squeezes. His hand felt cold and calloused, not soft or warm like usual.

“Too much.” You said into the pillow as you scooted your leg away from him causing the cot to creek more.

“You shouldn’t be doing that. You’re too young to be ruining your health.” You felt his eyes on you. You wondered what he was thinking. What part of you he was staring at.

“Well, you can stay while I go to work. You won’t be comfortable. I’d feel better if you were in your penthouse in Manhattan.” He sighed.

“I live in a closet Travy.”

“Still nicer than this. And your roommates are good to have. For safety. Safety in numbers sorta thing.” Why does he care about your safety?

"You didn't come to my show today." You sat up fast finally face to face with him.

"Your show?" Travis was confused. He really did forget. That just made you mad and you let your drunk thoughts out.

"I was waiting for you! That’s all I thought about! I didn’t even care when one of those rich pricks bought one of my biggest paintings for $1000. I’d rather you’ve been there! I almost didn’t want to give it to her. You know how I feel about certain people buying my work. But I owed my manager and the gallery their cut for letting me rent space there." You were yelling, then quickly wiped at your face feeling something wet on your cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I had some appointments. I've been sleeping more, I must've forgotten." He grabbed your wrist rubbing his thumb over your wrist bone but you pulled away harshly. His face became confused, you never pulled away from him. It was starting to frustrate him. He hadn't seen you in a month. Meaning he hadn't touched you in a month. He had gotten so used to you letting him.

"I'm easy to forget huh?" You sniffed, unsure what you were doing there now. Wanting to go.

"Well, you haven't gone to the theatre either! You just left me at the diner all those weeks ago without a word!" He raised his voice at you for the first time. It scared you a little.

"I don't like going alone. Plus the magazine was asking me to write more pervy stuff instead of just reviews of the films. And I was getting ready for my show all month anyway." You pulled your legs up hugging them. Feeling scared and anxious now.

"Why did you want me there?"

"Because I wanted to impress you." You stared at the floor.

"Impress me?" Now he was really confused. Why would you want to impress him?

"You work late. And you'd never gone to the gallery. You've only seen my sketches. And people always tell me how much they like them and how they want to see more. I was hoping you'd do that. It would've meant something."

It finally clicked for Travis. It was too much. How was he so blind this entire time? When he first met you at the theatre, you stuck out to him. You looked so out of place amongst the usual crowd. He sat next to you and you didn't get up to get away from him like others before you had.

He'd ask what you were doing there with a notebook. And you told him you had a freelance writing job for an adult magazine. Just to review the films from a woman's perspective. He would watch you write, you had really nice handwriting. You also always smelled good. Too good. Like you had a bath just before you got there.

One day he got too excited during a film, he thought the girl on the screen resembled you. He quickly grabbed at your forearm and it calmed him down. You didn't move. You didn't pull away. It made him feel better. Normal.

"You don’t know what you’re saying. Your…you shouldn’t want me." Travis' heart began to race at the realization you had feelings for him this entire time and he was completely oblivious to it all.

"Why? What am I to you? Why do you always touch me?" You felt like you were about to puke.

"Why do you let me touch you?! Do you let any guy do that!?" The thought suddenly made him sick. He really didn't know what you did away from him. You were an artist. You told him you slept late and painted all day or typed out your writing for the magazine. You complained about your manager sometimes, a man. All your roommates are women. Right?

You quickly got up to leave but he then grabbed your arm and pulled you back down so roughly that it hurt your elbow. He started to get close to you, going in for a kiss. You pushed him back. Now he was starting to get mad. You weren't supposed to push him away.

“I don’t want to be your second choice.” You quietly said looking away from him.

His eyes widen at your words. He grabs your jaw to turn your head back towards him.

“No! You're not my second choice! Because you aren’t some...thing for me to pick from…You…your so…”

“What?”

He grabs your head. Studying your face.

“Not real. Why would someone like you be here?”

He’s gripping your head tight and staring at you, intensely, his dark eyes burrowing into your glossy drunk ones. As if he was attempting to read your mind. 

It also felt like he’s going to crush your head like nut. 

You grabbed his wrist and he loosens his grip, right before he crashes his mouth onto yours. It hurt, his nose hitting yours and his teeth bump your top lip.

You then felt him pushing you back down on his creaky bed as he started pulling your dress off you from the shouldrers. Not slow or careful at all. If you weren’t so drunk you’d be afraid of him ripping it, but right now that didn’t matter.

Your heart began to race. Travis kept kissing you messily and with a ferocious hunger. As if he hadn’t kissed anyone in so long. He was being too rough. But you were enjoying the discomfort because it was from him.

You managed to kick off your boots even though he was still fully clothed. His small and uncomfortable bed creaked loudly with the two of you on it.

Travis then went for your bra, attempting to slide it off of you like your dress. It stopped bellow your now exposed breast, the wiring tight against your ribs. He gave up and just started grabbing you all over roughly.

“Wait.” You managed to breathe out while he continued to ravage your mouth with his. You wanted him to take off his clothes too. Attempting to pull off his jacket. 

“No. I can’t." He panted out still kissing at your mouth and face. He was sweating now. 

He roughly groped at your breast while also fumbling with his belt. You were about to have sex for the first time. With Travis. Should you tell him it's your first time? No, that would ruin the mood right? You still felt drunk. But you didn't want this to stop. All you could do now was hope you remembered your first time in the morning.

You then felt it. His erection against your thigh, that's what it was right? But before being able to say or see anything Travis shoved himself in. Without any warning or prep, not even taking off your underwear just moving them out of his way.

You gasped throwing your head back, allowing Travis to suck and bite at your neck.

You were wet enough but it was still overwhelming especially it being your first time. Travis buried himself in your neck loudly moaning as he roughly fucked you. It hurt but you loved being so close to him all you could do was wrap your arms around him tight. It all lasted maybe for a few minutes. He then stopped and bit into your neck as he came causing you to scream.

That was fast.

You felt his racing heart through his clothes against your exposed chest. You also felt the huge load he left in you. He heavily panted against you. Catching his breath like he just sprinted.

It was then you thought of how funny you both looked. Your breast exposed while your dress was halfway down against your torso and him fully clothed on top of you.

“You’re bleeding.”

You heard him say as he looked down.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He panted. Still catching his breath.

“You didn’t let me” You laughed. Drunk off him now. Your whole body feeling sore. Thinking how funny he looked so flustered and worn out after a quickie.

"Don’t laugh at me." He smiled and said before kissing you again. This time gently like a normal person. You felt dizzy. And sleepy. Everything felt good too. Way too good and you finally passed out.

[b3anbean]

If you write for Travis again could you do one were the reader is more blunt or takes charge in a way especially when Travis and the reader are with other people curious on your take on that

Oh yes I hope to make my reader insert character more patient with him and slightly more “no nonsense” if that makes sense. Letting Travis know how he acts and how it comes off, not really trying to control or change him just have him be more aware of himself as an adult in the world. Because honestly my reader insert character isn’t going to be totally normal themselves, which is why they’re attracted to Travis.

Since Travis is obviously mentally unstable he doesn’t need a partner who will baby him or go along with his self destructive habits or antics. In my opinion, he just really needs someone to help him stay grounded in reality.

[b3anbean]

on my knees begging pls 🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿

[b3anbean]

ROBERT DE NIRO Taxi Driver (1976) | dir. Martin Scorsese

[b3anbean]

Hey I know you wanted celebrities in your ask box but imma send you Bobby characters and tell me if you'd hit it! 😝

oh my god this really just cheered me up so much this means so much to me thank u ashley🥺

I WOULD HIT FOR ALL OF THEM... except for max😔

JAKE AND VITO CAN GET IT FOR FREEEEEEE

DONT GET ME WRONG ID HIT IT FOR BOBBY AS MAX BUT NOT ACTUAL MAX BECAUSE HES ✨scary✨

[b3anbean]

Robert De Niro in Cape Fear (1991)

[b3anbean]

You've seen the butcher. (blurb)

Still working on my Travis fic. It's nearly done but I am stuck on the smut part. But I am thinking of writing dead dove Max Cady stuff too so here have some of this:

TW: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT I AM WARNING YOU NOW MINORS DO NOT INTERACT YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. I am writing super dark stuff because that's just my thing and I understand not everyone will be into it. I am not responsible for the media you consume.

Non-con. Older man younger woman (reader is 20 but is mistaken for a teenager at times). Violence. Injury. Creepy stuff duh if you've seen the movie. This is just a blurb I will delete when I write the full fic. I have written a good amount already but like I said, I get stuck so have a free sample:

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“That sure is a lot of blood.”

You didn’t say anything to the man above you. Just kept your head to the side and stared at the dirty car floor and whatever liquid you gagged up.

“Here, lemme clean you up.”

He stuck his fingers inside you. You couldn’t feel anything. You could hear the disgusting squelching noise of him stirring your insides. He chuckled.

“Well, I sure had fun missy, but I really need to get goin'.” He tucked himself back in.

He lifted your legs then and you felt him slide your shorts back on, even buckling your belt back onto you tight. Then he took out your switchblade and cut off the zip tie that held your arms behind you and placing it back into your shorts pocket where he originally took it from you back at the bar.

The sound of the car door opening woke you up but you just kept staring at anything but him. You didn't want to remember this freak. He lifted you up effortlessly like a rag doll and pushed you out onto the side of the road. Causing you to fall flat on your back into the dirt staring up at the night sky. Finally he tossed your boots and rucksack at you before driving away fast.

You laid there in the dirt not moving. Scared that if you did he’d come back. It wasnt too dark. The area was rural enough you could see the stars. All you knew was that you were near some farmers fields. Hearing some crickets chirp.

Your insides started to hurt. Thats when you felt safe to slowly sit up.

Putting your boots back on you shakily got up picking up your rucksack. Both your wrist were raw and bloody, your thighs felt sticky and your butt felt like you sat on something wet. Which is when you realized, he had taken your underwear. You took off your jacket and wrapped it around your waist. Nobody was around to see you, but you just wanted to cover up and disappear.

Without another thought, you began walking the opposite direction of where he drove away. You didn’t know where you were. But as long as you were away from him anywhere was better.

By the time you reached a motel the sun had started to rise.

[b3anbean]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but there is always a way to turn your fav character into a more disgusting immoral predatory version of themselves <3 never give up

[b3anbean]

HCs: Dating Travis Bickle (SFW)

Original message: “hi! i’m so glad i found your blog, you’re doing a great service to us all lmaooo may i request a dating travis hc? could be sfw or nsfw, that’s up to you 😊”

AAAA absolutely! I’m glad you enjoy it ahaha y’all make me love writing aaaa! Ok so I’ll do SFW and NSFW headcannons, but I’ll make them into separate posts so everyone who wants to read can enjoy :) I hope that is okay~

Warnings: Toxic relationships, manipulative behavior from Travis. But in character for who he is. 

• Starting off, your relationship with Travis is a bit rocky. Not getting much attention from anyone, as well as being incredibly touch starved has done damage on his ability to reciprocate physical and emotional affection with a partner.

• He will become obsessive, we already have seen this with his past relationships. He will conform his entire personality to suit whatever your needs are. He pretends to be interested in all the same things you are, and it can be a bit creepy. Especially when you know he’s lying just to impress you, or make you like him more.

• You’ll have to try and coax the “real” Travis out of him, telling him he doesn’t have to pretend to be anyone but himself - you love him for him. Whatever… “he” really is underneath that hard exterior.

• Odd dates at odd hours because of his work, and the long hours he puts in as a result of it. Sometimes he’ll ask you to go out for coffee and pie with him at 2AM after he gets out of work. I mean, NYC is the city that never sleeps, there is always something to do. He’ll pick you up, of course. Or just, go for a drive with him as well. He’s a sightseer, so he’s always game for an unplanned trip, especially if it takes the two of you out of the city.

• He’s a bit uncomfortable in public, always asking you to order for him, or to buy the tickets at the movie theatre. He’s got some odd social anxiety issues, but only when it comes to certain activities. 

• One of his favorite places to go is the aquarium. There is something so peacefully serene about the ocean creatures and the blue lights surrounding the enclosures that he just. He’s obsessed. He could stand and watch all day if you’d let him.

• Travis will always reach or grab for your hand in public too, messing with your hand and fingers. He’ll often pull each individual digit, counting them over and over again in a barely audible whisper. He has a couple of these little impulses, which sometimes seem bizarre, but you know he does it to calm down. 

• You practically never meet up at his apartment, he doesn’t want you to see how he lives. It’s always at an outside place or at your apartment. Which you don’t mind at all. Travis will often sleep over when he’s off work at your place, he always feels safer there anyways. And with you. 

• Tends to be a bit of a stalker. He’ll have to know what you are doing, when you are doing it everyday or else he will lose his mind. He is incredibly self conscious and scared you will be hurt, kidnapped, or are sneaking behind his back to see another lover. Travis has horrible paranoia that goes oftentimes unchecked, so you’ll have to reign him in. 

• Will be like “I drove by your apartment today, wanted to check in on you. You didn’t answer the door, where were you?” Travis can get set off very easily, even if you explain to him that you just needed to run to the store for a item you forgot for tonight’s dinner. He can be a bit scary, he has a hard time determining what is socially acceptable or appropriate in a relationship. 

• Your friends are now Travis’s friends. He needs to know what kind of people you are hanging around, and if they are good for you. He’ll be quite vocal if he thinks you are hanging around with the wrong crowd, trying to get you as far away from them as possible. You cannot fall to the same corruption he’s seen so many others fall to.

• Hold him. He practically is begging to be held and feel your soft touch. He finds the entirety of society to be nothing but filth - nothing but disgusting creatures who prowl the streets at night in search of sex, booze, and drugs. But in your arms, all of that melts away, and for all he cares he could be on a different planet than Earth.

• He doesn’t talk too much when he doesn’t have anything important to say. So there are silent nights where the two of you just go about your activities in front of the Television set, or while the record player plays in the background.

• Travis will always be staring you down, it can kind of be unnerving. He just loves watching your every move, how you carry yourself, your specific mannerism that are just so uniquely you. Travis will commit every single one of these to memory. He might pick up on some of them himself, like copying the way you sit, or certain catchphrases you just can’t seem to shake. 

[b3anbean]

[ ᴍɪɴɪ ᴍᴜsɪɴɢs ] be the worst i ever had ❛ noodles aaronson

fandom: robert de niro / once upon a time in america featuring: david “noodles” aaronson x fem!reader rating: nsfw for smut (minors dni) and triggering content including drug use, murder mention, suggested canon-typical violence, choking (mutual) and masturbation (mutual). proceed with caution. summary: our reader stumbles into an opium den after committing a truly heinous crime, and meets a man with the same rot in his heart that she suffers from. attention: do not repost my works or claim them as yours. feedback and reblogs are essential to me, so please consider letting me know what you think!

through the haze, you see him.

smoke surrounds you, and you are oh-so willing to choke on it. how long had you been here? hours? days? no, hours. time seemed to stand still in here, as you drift in and out of consciousness, but it had to have been only hours since you’d arrived. glancing down at your hands, you can tell. while blood no longer paints your flesh as it had when you first arrived, there’s dark remnants under your fingernails; you can still smell it, all the blood.

who knew someone could bleed so much?

when you’re conscious, you smoke yourself back to sleep, it’s what this establishment was made for. however, for you, the two worlds intermingle, becoming one, and so when you see him, it’s hard to tell if you’re dreaming.

he seems like a dream to you. he looks like one.

Keep reading

[b3anbean]

JON BERNTHAL as FRANK CASTLE THE PUNISHER || 1.11 - DANGER CLOSE

The manliest man to ever man.

[b3anbean]

[b3anbean]

[b3anbean]

Do you still write for Travis Bickle? Or Robert De Niro characters?

Yoooooo I’m still writing my Travis Bickle stuff! I’m just finishing some school stuff. I am thinking of other DeNiro characters too. So if you’d like be patient with me. 🥹

[b3anbean]

“Anywhere”

Pairing: Travis Bickle x Reader [Taxi Driver]

Word Count: 3.4k 

Summary: Two complete strangers meet completely by fate in a taxi cab, and form an unlikely bond in the search for “anywhere” 

A/N: Angst, this is kinda sad but it has a good ending for both of you. Part of the post-college angsty energy, featuring some words from Travis I think we all need to hear right now. Inspired by some lovely convos with @ourhoneymooon​ <3

You stand, dejected, freezing on the sidewalk of the unforgiving New York City Streets with your entire life packed away into a single, pitiful suitcase. Everything you owned, everything you felt that you were worth, stuffed into a tiny bag - the thought disgusted you. Your carefully selected makeup now ran down your face, washing away every ounce of hope for the way the evening should have progressed, left to the streets. The puddles accumulating on the streets from the rain merged with the slick oil from the countless cars that passed by daily. 

Keep reading

[b3anbean]

Blurb from a Travis Bickle x Reader thing I’m writing:

“So what do you think I should do doll? Ask her out? I think she’s seen me parked outside her job already.”

He smiled at you, placing his hand on your knee innocently. He was always grabby. Never on your lady parts, he would just squeeze your thigh at the theatre. Or place his hand on your lower back and rub your hands or arms for longer than was appropriate even for couples.

Of course it never bothered you, both of you were odd like that. Probably made you look easy. Even though you’d quickly stab any other man who would dare to touch you.

“Oh yeah. You should just go for it.” You said, giving him a closed mouth smile.

You then downed the black coffee with too much sugar he made you. Needing to get out of there quick. Your throat was starting to tighten up.

“Uh hey, I need to go. But you should really tell her how you feel if she’s that important. Take her to a movie like regular folks.” You were glad Travis was a bit off when it came to social situations. A regular person would pick up that you were rushing to get away from them.

Not Travis though.

“Why? We didn’t order yet. Are you feeling sick? Let me drive you home at least.” He said with concern and confusion.

“No, the walk isn’t far you know that.” You fumbled through your purse and placed some change for the coffee on the table. Even though Travis always paid.

Without looking at him again you rushed out feeling the water works start.