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i do think varian’s just the cringiest guy out there. like, i hold him back in my fics, because we’ve gotta get stuff done, but he’s really out here quoting things nobody has found funny in years and laughing at his own jokes and making the most secondhand-embarrassment-inducing mistakes. he will be one of those dads that’s somehow both awesome and the biggest loser you’ve ever met. (if he was in a modern au, he probably had some sort of youtube or vine channel that had 6 followers before he shut it down out of shame.)

honestly, the same goes for hugo. the second he genuinely wants varian to like him, he is using the worst pickup lines and freaking out constantly. he makes varian look cool by comparison. they’re made for each other <3

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trans varian is my beloved but cis varian is also awesome because he was calling himself a “co-lady-in-waiting” with no problem and wearing an apron with a giant bow tied on the back. he probably made himself a flower crown like a living picrew model. his evil plan partially consisted of baking and sewing. he sings really extra songs.

trans varian can absolutely deconstruct toxic masculinity, but i also like imagining cis varian who just. didn’t come with that feature at all.

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tearing my hair out imagining a multi-episode varian redemption no one talk to me

him still snapping at rapunzel and holding her at arms’ length until they end up having to work together for some reason. them both apologizing to each other and it feeling earned and in the right place in the story. ruddiger being timid around varian but gradually warming up to him until he licks varian’s cheek and varian cries. eugene realizing the similarities between himself and varian & them becoming team awesome for real. lance first meeting varian as he lives under the shadow of what he’s done and pulling him into the light.

it could’ve been so good.

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are there any other asexual varian truthers out there… in the wilds… hello?…

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reading “faults of the mind” by izabellwit on ao3 (HIGHLY recommend) and thinking about all the lore for my pirate au. i’m seeing you all making beautiful art and creations for lover’s oath, so i know you could get invested and inspire me if i began to write it, but it is. so daunting. twenty chapters and probably a sequel. places and character backstories and even just ship terms.

if y’all could periodically yell at me & bully me into planning it out so i can write it, or send me asks about what each character’s role in the story will be/my headcanons for them/the plot, that would be very motivating.

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…don’t make me write it

”all it took was threatening the thing you love the most” would’ve hit harder had Varian kidnapped Eugene just sayin

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i don’t think hugo and varian should work at the eternal library where varian’s mom was trapped. I think that’d suck for them. but i also think varian shouldn’t be the royal engineer, or should at least get some sort of autonomy in his career and not feel like he has to do whatever the royals want in order to make up for his actions/feel safe.

(that’s a whole ‘nother post in the making)

so i’m not sure what sort of careers varigo has in my mind. maybe they’re just rapunzel’s unemployed cousins.

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love me some princess nuru. she pauses before walking through doors because she expects people to open them for her. she doesn’t know how to cook. she has to remind herself not to wait for people to taste her food for her. she flipped her shit when she saw varian kiss ruddiger/met ruddiger for the first time. her speech is very very formal but grows more casual over time when she’s comfortable with the gang.

princess nuru <3

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i would say movie frederic and show frederic are like different characters to me, but movie frederic did have a death penalty for theft, so i’m side-eyeing him.

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so rapunzel’s “never gonna stop fighting for you” speech in cassandra’s revenge was a deliberate parallel speech to the “never going to stop fighting you unless you let me heal him” speech in the movie, huh. so they took a statement about rapunzel’s first act of true defiance against gothel for the first person who saw her as human and turned it into a statement about trying to reach someone who is actively attempting to kill her and who nearly crushed her against the ceiling a second prior, huh. they really looked at this and patted themselves on the back for their clever writing and great messaging for kids, huh.

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as much as i think cass’ writing could have been handled better and with more respect toward her as a character, i do love the idea of her never naming her sword.

think about it— they’re named for either heroic acts their wielders have accomplished, or virtues they hope to embody. and when she started using it, cass was still waiting. waiting to see who she’d turn out to be and what she’d set out to do.

and then she exchanges her sword for one that belongs to someone else, one made of black rocks that spell destruction, and she doesn’t even think about naming it.

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but the thing about hugo having a metal arm (in some concepts) is that it’s such a perfect representation of the character he is when he first meets varian. he’s cold, he’s methodic, he’s powerful. he’s a tool for donella to use, like his arm is a tool he uses.

also, he is so capable of hurting varian. flesh and bone do not stand a chance against metal, and varian is someone who has hurt others with it, so he knows that. they’re wary of each other.

and then hugo does crush varian with his betrayal, but in the library, he shows him how much he’s changed. and while varian is well within his rights to avoid ever getting close to him again, he chooses to place his trust in him— or as much trust as he’s capable of right now. he decides to believe hugo won’t hurt him again.

and he doesn’t. and they learn how to live happily.

just. thoughts on the themes of one rat’s cool cyborg arm.

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said it before & i’ll say it again but there is NO way s1-finale varian had a plan for “after.” he was literally just making stuff up to sound scary.

his primary objective was to free quirin. that was secondary to any revenge plans he had, right up until he realized rapunzel’s hair didn’t work. if things had gone according to plan & quirin was free, quirin could’ve de-escalated the situation with just his presence. yes, varian had the biggest automaton waiting, but that a) wouldn’t have been put in use if his dad was free, and b) i’d argue was more for self-defense, considering the army outside his house.

so for those who are like “varian’s sympathetic but i don’t condone him going on a warpath after he got what he wanted”. well. good news. he has zero idea what he’s talking about.

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every time i try to contemplate writing about some sort of quirin-versus-frederic showdown or at least verbal confrontation, i run into the block of frederic having his memories wiped.

and i could easily fix that with a couple adjustments, but it just makes me think. obviously, the writers (chris) didn’t want frederic facing any sort of consequences or even stern words for his actions. because the tangled: the series narrative is like propaganda for a kingdom that doesn’t exist, and it wants to paint its rulers in as divine a light as possible.

at this point in the show, rapunzel has enough confidence to stand up for herself. she would be able to call frederic out on any of the horrible things he’s done. also, varian’s been redeemed (though not in a super well-written way), and he’s a living reminder for rapunzel that her father has made awful mistakes.

i would love to see either quirin shouting at frederic for using varian as a scapegoat, rapunzel actually getting mad at him for putting her in another tower and hurting her loved ones, eugene & lance bringing up how death shouldn’t be a penalty for theft, or varian airing out his grievances with his friends by his side instead of villainous backup. it could be a scene with all of them at once, and arianna being held accountable for enabling her husband.

but we don’t get that, because frederic is chris’ self-insert, and the king and queen’s memories were wiped.

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really dumb vat7k filler episode where the gang’s bodies are somehow changed to what they were & what they were wearing two years ago. meaning baby-faced nuru, probably with some bad haircut she was really embarrassed about. even-more-baby-faced yong whose voice is even more high-pitched. even a slightly shorter hugo, with bangs for some cursed reason.

and then there’s varian in his separatist outfit.

bonus points if that’s how they find out about his villainy.

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varian, in prison: well. i guess i can only go up from here

varian, being dangled off a flying ship by the collar of his shirt: this is NOT what i meant in any capacity

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okay but what if varian could tell andrew was manipulating him and just went along with it, at first.

because he just came from the battle of old corona. he’s rattled and he almost got pierced through by a giant rock and he doubts anyone would have cared. he just failed to save quirin in what he believes was his last chance. there’s nothing left for him now except to sink into the guilt of what he’s done.

but then there’s andrew, who at first treats him with disinterest and then noticeably perks up when varian lists his crimes. varian feels too unsafe to be anything other than attuned to andrew’s every move, so he picks up on this. he decides to just let it happen, since he’s not going anywhere and it’s better to be complimented on his horrific acts than have to go into a spiral over them. it’s better to be distracted.

and then it escalates from there, with andrew telling him about the oppression all saporians are enduring, and varian can’t distinguish the truths from the lies anymore (because they are in fact getting oppressed, but andrew’s words are muddled in meaning because he doesn’t know what he’s really doing but fighting anyway). and then, partially because varian’s getting attached and partially to hurt himself since this’ll probably go horribly, he decides to just believe what andrew says.

i think the “varian was still way too emotionally heightened and had been through way too much to spare any room for being suspicious of andrew” interpretation is valid, and varian isn’t any less smart if that’s how it went. but i also think it would be interesting if varian could trace things back to a conscious choice he made in listening to andrew. most likely, that would be another thing he’d blame himself for.

‼️ THIS IS NOT VICTIM-BLAMING VARIAN. HOWEVER IT WENT, IT SHOULDN’T HAVE WENT AT ALL BECAUSE HE WAS FOURTEEN. HE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN PUT IN A CELL, LET ALONE WITH A GROWN MAN. I JUST FIND IT INTRIGUING TO SPECULATE ON HOW VARIAN’S MENTAL PROCESS WORKED DURING ALL OF THAT ‼️