batfammeetsspidergang

[batfammeetsspidergang]

Noir owns one t-shirt...

...and this is it.

It was a gift from the Spider-Gang, but he never wears it. He hates the damn thing... but the shirt has too much sentimental value for him to throw it away.

[batfammeetsspidergang]

Spider-Man and Batman (1995)

[batfammeetsspidergang]

*after meeting the Spider-Gang*

Peter: Sorry about my family.

Tim: No need to apologize. All families are terrible.

Peter: Uh, actually, mine is great, really.

Tim: Oh. …Mine too. I was just trying to relate to you. In a human way.

[batfammeetsspidergang]

Batman: Big flag-burning to get to?

Spider-Punk: Actually, it's my weekly evil-conspiracy and needlepoint group. You wanna come?

Batman: I left my thimbles and socialist reading material at home.

[batfammeetsspidergang]

Steph: Do you ever feel like a toddler trying to take care of itself?

Gwen: Given that I just spent thirty minutes eating random, unsatisfying snacks until I figured out I was just thirsty, yes. 

Duke, facepalms

[batfammeetsspidergang]

Red Hood: These guys only understand one language. 

Spider-Ham: German? 

Red Hood: No. Fists.

Spider-Ham: What about feet?

Red Hood, sighs: Yes. They understand feet.

Spider-Ham: Wouldn’t that technically make them bilingual? 

Red Hood: THE POINT IS-

[batfammeetsspidergang]

"Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird."

- Peter Parker

[batfammeetsspidergang]

Black Cat & Mary Jane: Beyond (2022)

[batfammeetsspidergang]

Marvel Two-In-One Annual #2 (1977)

[batfammeetsspidergang]

CW: BLOOD, RIBCAGE

I swear to god if this flops im killing everyone on this godforsaken website.

[batfammeetsspidergang]

Cass: Are you ready to commit?

Steph: Like… to a crime or a relationship?

[batfammeetsspidergang]

Noir: It was real easy to get away with murder before we knew about DNA. Ridiculously easy. 

Noir: A cop would walk in, "Detective! We found a pool of the killer's blood in that hallway!" 

Noir: And he would just go, "Hmm, gross! Mop it up. Now then, back to my hunch… I'll tell ya what we'll do! We'll draw chalk around where the body is. That way, we'll know where it was!”

[batfammeetsspidergang]

Bruce: I’m going to train you in the ways of martial arts. 

Miles: Wow… That’s a major honor! If I do this, does that mean I can kick everybody’s butt?

Bruce: We don’t technically believe in using our abilities that way.

Miles: Oh yeah, me neither, of course. But I could, right?

Bruce, smirks: Yes, you could.

Bruce: But I should say, this will be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. It’ll drain you mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Miles: Eh. Can’t be worse than high school.

[batfammeetsspidergang]

Damian: A girl doesn’t get her hair styled like that unless she has psychological problems. 

Gwen, offended: Excuse you, my hairstyle has nothing to do with my psychological problems!

[batfammeetsspidergang]

basically their dynamic, right?

(i cracked myself UP making this, i love shitposts)

fic by @luciaintheskyainthi

[batfammeetsspidergang]

bat-shenanigans

they’re the hero’s gothem deserves…?? maybe??

[batfammeetsspidergang]

batfam + textposts part: ???