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would you kiss him? :v

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Yearning Yandere who eats your favorite foods and imagines they are kissing you. They pretend that its the taste left on your tongue, that the enzymes, blood cells, and mucus that makes up your saliva hasnt had time to break down the flavors of the food. They might even hate or be allergic to your favorite food- they might spit out the food right afterwards. But its a delight just to lose themselves in the delusion. Chasing any form of intimacy they can. Sucking on your favorite candy and pretending they wrestled it from your tongue. Swallowing your favorite drink and imagining that it is your drool leaking into their mouth.

This will have to do until they can get their hands on another one of your used utensils.

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cosmic horror (god loves you too much and keeps resurrecting you)

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read that post blacked out and woke up with this on my computer. crazy. stay safe out there everyone

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Theres some smut writers where if they were to come out and say "actually I use ai to write" i would be like "yeah we can tell"

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Reader: yeah Im not planning on having kids. Maaaaybe adoption. Maybe.

Sebastian: I understand completely. Demons do not have family- let alone young.

Reader, looking at Ciel "pampered child being raised by helicopter mom who has read a library on parenting and child development books but refuses to process a single emotion" Phantomhive:

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Thinking about a scene in the Apothecary Diaries where the head lady in waiting was thinking it may be time for her to get married and have kids because she saw how happy her lady she was serving was (but she wouldn’t be able to anyways because she is too important at work 💔) If you want to write about it, how would you think in your amazing AU(s) Sebastian would react to us also considering marriage after seeing a very happy relationship (no kids preferably) but like we don’t consider him most likely marriage material and want to start going on dates with others :)

Sorry for the paragraph and if you don’t find this interesting at all you can just ignore it lol

Apothecary Diaries mention yippee

Some various headcanons undercut

Sebastian and Marriage: he doesnt give a fuck about the church and he doesnt believe in any sanctity- but he loves marriage. The titles, the shiny rings, the glamorous events, the possession it allows, and ofc the contractual element of it. Sebastian doesnt care if it is formalized but he wants a public and showy relationship if he is the have one at all. Keeping business and personal lives as seperate as he can, of course. But he is a proud demon and he wants to brag. The whole "one hell of a butler" thing will apply to marriage and he will drop the "I am merely one hell of a husband" line every chance he gets because hes cringe like that. He likes to play the part and would skip the whole emotional vulnerability thing if he can. Highkey he just wants to play house.

Sebastian and your work: actually one of the areas that he is emotionally mature. He recognizes your independence, appreciates your skills, and wants you to gain more financial and social capital. Sebastian doesnt like to see anyone capable and ambitious be shoved into a cage. The condemnation of women to the home is one of the things he criticizes humanity for because it is so inefficient. To me its like this

Anyway with the preamble out of the way

Reader is actively seeking a husband: Inserts himself incessently. So annoying. Sabotages all prospective partners*. Puffed out like a peacock around you, basically saying "look at how capable and handsome I am- what a fine husband I would be". Ciel is so sick of his shit that hes going to start pressuring (complaining to) you to marry Sebastian so everyone can move on.

*if reader is aware that he is a demon there is a chance that Sebastian will go straight to the point. "I intend to never allow you to marry another- it would be kind of you to stop looking for an inferior husband, and spare those foolish men the experience of heartache along with shattered ribs."

Reader not actively seeking: Sebastian ultimately decides to dissuade you from marriage entirely. Why let the church get involved? Human men are so vulgar and disgusting....so entitled. What mortal man would respect your work? Your time? He points out the misery of marriage and will intentionally put you near sextist men so you become even more withdrawn. He is trying to convince you that you dont really want actual marriage- you want the fantasy of it. A fantasy he can provide.

I imagine reader explains multiple times that Sebastian isnt marriage material- but he doesnt take you seriously. He is handsome, wealthy, powerful, intelligent, and capable- the best possible husband. Maybe after the 3rd time of telling him "why" he gets it (muscle head) and realizes that he has to actually build a relationship with you before marriage. This is a funny stage because hes impatient af but tries to act nonchalant about it.

Any way you slice it- Sebastian Michaelis is persistant in fulfilling his "marital bliss" roleplay checklist.

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GET. AI. OUT. OF. FANDOM. Stop making headcanons with it, stop making fanfic with it, stop making fanart with it. If I see one more "asking chatgpt *blank* about *character/characters in a fandom* I'm going to lose my goddamn mind. Use your own fucking brain, stop asking AI to do everything. You could even ask other real people what they think. Just. Stop. Using. AI. In. Creative. Spaces.

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Sebastian Michaelis' Reaction to Your Period Headcanons:

-For all humans he can estimate roughly where they are in their monthly/daily hormonal cycle by smell alone. Because he pays close attention to you, he knows your menstrual cycle by the day.

-With this^ in mind, he is aware of your period before you are and will have sanitary supplies ready accordingly. If you live in a close enough proximity, he will prep your bed with a towel in case it comes early overnight.

-He gets even more fussy about your diet. A personal challenge for him becomes how many ways can he cook liver for you. And if you hate liver, how many ways can he sneak it into your food?

-Despite being attentive towards your iron and hydration levels, his heart does backflips if you get woozy or dizzy. Will happily catch you everytime (he likes how weak and dependent you are).

-If he can he will have you spend the first day or two in bed/lounging. Easily done if you are within the Phantomhive manor, your meals will be delivered and any and all attempts to work will be quickly snuffed out. But if you are elsewhere and Sebastian cannot influence your daily activities then he will simply write to you imploring you to stay in bed. Naturally he will worry the whole time because you rarely listen to him. Once Ciel is asleep he will check in on you.

-He would make any emotionally charged situation worse by being condescending and laughing at you. He thinks its amusing how sad/angry you are- its not often he sees you so out of control of yourself. No amount of explaining your feelings or reasoning will help the situation. He will also attribute ALL negative emotions to "being on your cycle" so good luck bringing up legitimate concerns during this time.

-Sometimes says/does/brings up something just to watch you cry or get mad because he thinks its cute.

-Gives you massages when your chest swells up to relieve your shoulder and pectoral pain.

-Mandatory homemade herbal tea blend. If he can he will try to brew and serve it to you himself. If he is unable to, he will write detailed and elegant instructions and implore you to drink it twice a day.

-Dismissive of all emotional pains and plights but perfectly prepared and attentive for all of your physical and mental needs

NSFW

-More amorous than usual during your ovulation stage. He is deeply turned on by your high sex drive- pleeeasssee flash him those bedroom eyees

-"Sebastian, I need you", "I am at your disposal, my dear" type

-Torn about eating you out on your period. On one hand- he loves the blood and savagery of it. The mixture of your shame and arousal as he licks you, the look of disgust you shoot him when he AUDIBLY eats a fucking nugget of shed lining-- he practically lives for it. On the other hand- it is messy :(( he doesn't like the clean up afterwards. So it will depend on if he has the time to clean up, although you just need to ask him and he will gladly find a way to wiggle you into his schedule

-Aroused by your lack of bodily control. Demons have near perfect control over their image at all times- for you to be at the whim of your hormones and bodily functions is actually quite charming to him. He especially likes how you try to defy your biology.

-If you are more prone to embarrassment he will seek to use that against you. Asking you to bend over and pick up something heavy, hanging out a dusty manuscript, anything to watch your eyes widen in alarm when you feel a gush of blood between your thighs. He gets off on the idea of knowing why you are so flustered.

-On the topic of intentionally getting you to cry from either sadness or frustration, he very much likes to do this leading up to sex. Especially if you are angry. Bearing your teeth, so frustrated that tears spill from your eyes, your body so engulfed in rage that you aren't even registering the ache in your abdomen anymore. It is a picture of seduction to Sebastian, he can never resist gently cupping your face and shoving his tongue in your mouth. Don't harm your precious teeth by grinding them together! Please, bite his tongue until it bleeds instead.

-Despite treating you to soft and gentle touches, Sebastian works quickly. He doesn't see the point in teasing you and drawing out the experience. You both know what you want and he doesn't have the willpower to deny you while you suffer under your own physiology.

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So You Unknowingly Agreed to an Arranged Marriage With a Demon Lord: Now What? 

WC: ~1,000

CW: demon x human, fem!reader, cursing, flirting, mild sexual content, eventual monster fucking. Proof read but no beta.

“Someone from the ninth realm has answered the summons, Lord Astaroth. A human female, just like you desired!”

“Yes, and she’s a pretty one.”

You look to the imp to your left, two of which hold you by each arm—though the restraint is wholly unnecessary. 

They think you're pretty?

You aren’t sure you’d consider yourself to be particularly good looking. Sure, you have some nice features, but you’re no Zendaya. However, judging by all of the prying eyes and slacking jaws of every beast you’ve come across on your journey to this Crimson Peak-esque castle, you’d wager to bet that humans aren’t exactly common here.

Wherever here may be.

You’re assuming you’ve been spirited away to this place to be… well, you aren’t exactly sure. Someone’s exotic pet, maybe? The scaly little creatures who have escorted you from that dripping portal in the woods (that’s what you get for wandering off) have been surprisingly gentle, which leads you to believe you aren’t to be harmed. 

Not that you’d particularly care. 

Honestly, you’ve been so incredibly bored with life lately that you could scream just for the variation. Office work? Boring. World with no magic? Boring. The men in your town? Fucking boring! Perhaps that’s why you’d poked the damned portal in the first place, one fingertip prodding into the murky, gray ring. Though, you hadn’t realized it was an invitation. 

“Leave us,” a voice, dark and deep, growls from the shadows. 

The imps release you, shuffling beyond the confines of your vision and escaping to somewhere less than corporeal. 

Five strides and the man attached to the voice is on you, standing digitigrade within a few sips of moonlight that stream through the windows, his presence looming above you. The Demon Lord Astaroth’s form treads the line between man and beast, upper lip curled into a snarl, fangs exposed and eyes burning like ruby slits beneath a furrowed brow.

A forked tongue darts out to wet his lips, rows of sharp teeth exposed. His features play at handsome behind a dark mane of hair, a horn curling on either side of his head, the fur on his chest protruding through his fine shirt. He’s well over eight feet tall and is easily three of you in width, the way he imposes only heightened by an arrowed tail that swishes behind him. 

He cocks his head. Twitches an animalistic ear. Drags a clawed finger along the line of your forearm, as if marveling at the innate nakedness of your flesh. 

You tremble at the touch.

His lips nudge into a wry grin. “Afraid of demons, are we?”

You shake your head in a fervent no, stating shakily, “It’s not that.”

In an instant, his expression gives way to one that’s much more cold. You’re frustratingly resistant to his intimidation—and a bad liar. “No need to deceive me, human. I can see you quaking before me.”

You avert your eyes, cheeks flushed and hot, shuffling in your spot nervously. “It’s.. it’s not from fear…” 

“I won’t let you go just because you offer me some feigned complacency,” he hisses, curling five clawed digits around your wrist. 

“Okay,” you huff. The words to express your enthusiasm don’t seem to come naturally in the moment. Hell, you never thought such an opportunity would arise, so you hadn't planned or prepared for it. The whole situation has taken you off guard to say the least.

He snarls. 

Jerks you forward. 

And you let out a breathy whine at the gesture.

Horizontally-slitted pupils constrict. “W-what are you—?” The phrase catches in his mouth as you begin to work at the buttons of your shirt, shimmying to expose yourself from the pinafore atop it. Your breathing has become erratic. Chest heaving. Something delicious wafting from betwixt your thighs.

Is this normal human behavior? 

He releases you from his grasp, recoiling more out of shock than anything else. 

“I can keep it on if you want,” your whisper flits to his ear. “Will we get caught in here? We could go to your bedroom. Y-your chambers, whatever you call them here, I don’t care.”

This is a new tactic he hasn’t yet seen. Before they flee, the human maidens shriek. Babble about how they fell in to the portal on accident, please send them back, don’t eat them. But you almost seem like you want to be eaten with how you’re offering yourself up to him like this.

Perhaps you’ve realized he’s wealthy. More than likely, you carry yourself much better than the others did, and this is just an attempt at escape.

Still, what you’re doing is making him feel strange. Like his skin is ill-fitting. It has him growing increasingly uncomfortable.

Of course he wants a human bride. Everyone does, but only those of high status are able to acquire one. And even then, their willingness to the union is often coerced. It’s natural for humans to be afraid. 

Or so he thought. 

Your whole body is warm, the smell of you so cloying that it nearly sickens him. 

“You won’t trick me, human,” Astaroth grits, the confusion laced within palpable. 

“Oh, do you want me to be brattier? I can try that.” You take a step forward when he begins to lean away. “Yeah, I’m a tricky human,” you purr, eyes heavy-lidded. “You’re gonna have to punish me for it.”

“You cannot deceive me with requests of physical atonement!” 

“I guess you’ll have to think of something else, then, won’t you?” 

Every single hair bristles when you say this, the sultry tone colliding somewhere deep in his center, touching on nerves he didn’t even know existed until now. In all his thousands of years walking this plane, he’s never known his heart to beat so quickly, so haphazardly behind his ribs.

You must be a witch. 

He has to garner the proper wherewithal to deal with you, if that is the case.

Astaroth vanishes in a cloud of smoke. 

Damn.

So he’s playing hard to get, eh? That’s alright. You’ll wear him down. 

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Naga x gender neutral reader

You're in a reluctant arranged marriage with the naga king. Neither of you liked the idea but you knew how much it would benefit both of your realms, so you agreed to it. You have to sleep in the same room to avoid suspicion, but so far it's been fine. A kiss on the cheek here, sitting beside each other at dinner there, and the kingdom seems content with its new rulers, chalking the stilted air between you to shyness.

It's been a few weeks and both of you have given up the various uncomfortable sleeping arrangements and simply sleep on the bed together. He keeps to his side, and you to yours. One night you wake up to the bed rocking and the slick sound of your husband jerking off. That's a first. You sit up with a start, avoiding looking at his lower half as you flick on the bedside lamp.

"Hey, can't you do that somewhere else? The bathroom, maybe?"

"Sorry," is all he says and his eyes nearly roll back in his head, which is kind of concerning.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Rut." He chokes, his hand moving even faster, a whine building in his throat.

You pause. "Oh. Should I leave?"

His eyes flick to you. "You know guards are standing right out in the hall?"

"I'll tell them I need some fresh air or something." You start to clamber out of the huge bed.

"Stay?"

You freeze at the sound of his voice, soft and hoarse in a way you've never heard before.

"Please. I would like it if you stay."

"I don't know..." You bite your lip. "It's kind of awkward. I don't know what you're going through. Does it feel like an aphrodisiac? Someone drugged my drink once and I tried to jump a guard."

He huffs out a short laugh. "I would have liked to see that."

He sucks in a sharp breath and falls still, fumbling tiredly for a pillow to cover himself with. You take a peek at him. His scales look brighter than usual. While the pillow is covering all the important bits there's a telltale streak of cum dripping down the side of his stomach.

"I can't leave the room like this," he sighs. "We'll have to reschedule the meetings we have tomorrow."

You nod along to his words, but you're still looking at that bit of cum. It's glittery. He whines softly and throws the pillow to the side. You can't stop yourself from looking and your gasp gives you away. His heavy-lidded eyes fall on you.

"Never seen a naga's cocks before?" He asks stroking with both hands.

"No one told me there'd be two!"

"The maids probably wanted it to be a surprise for you," he moans and his head falls back against the mattress. "I'm going to cum again."

"It hasn't even been a minute," you say, a little amused.

"Everything is sensitive," he huffs, squeezing the shaft of his bigger cock. "You have no idea how many rounds I can go like this. Fuck."

Pearly cum streaks over his fingers and he shivers, his hand falling away again. He stares longingly at you like he's forgotten you don't like each other. You stare back.

"So... Why is this stuff so glittery?" You reach towards a tiny droplet of cum on the sheets and he opens his mouth to protest.

"Don't touch it!"

"Why? I'm not a prude," you scoff and swipe your finger over the pretty, shiny stuff.

"You've just touched a raw aphrodisiac. It absorbs into the skin. Imagine the effect of what you drank that one time and double it."

"Come on, there's no way it can be that intense," you frown at him.

Just then, you feel your nerves light up like you've just jumped into a warm, cozy pool, and goosebumps rise all over your skin as an aching pleasure pools in your belly. You're sure your pupils have dilated as you stare at him in shock. His tongue flicks out before he can stop himself, tasting your arousal in the air.

You clear your throat. "Okay, I have a suggestion. How about we pretend we're not enemies for tonight?"

@idle-monsters

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Sorry about some recent posts- I was editing in draft and must have accidentally posted. Those will come out later- and finished properly lmao

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HIII i love ur sebastian x (knows he's a demon) reader ficss!! Can u pls do more (and longer plss) of thoseee? They're so unique and entertaining esp because the u describe sebastian is super close to his canon character

One of the things I'm developing right now is this premise in a more traditional fanfic format. It will feature sporadic (but chronological) scenes wherein an Isekai-ed Reader learns they are in the Black Butler-verse when Ciel and Sebastian show up at their place of work.

Because this is a series, it has more descriptions of the reader than my usual fics. For this reader is a woman and in a sort of quasi-legal profession.

Readers relationship to Ciel is "only other capable person aside from Sebastian and thus objectively the best because she isn't Sebastian"

Readers relationship to Sebastian is "intriguing because she doesn't like me and all these other weird quirks but mostly because she doesn't like me. Incredibly fun to bother"

and they will progress from there. Presently the draft only has about 2k words in it but that spans across multiple chapters because I work on it whenever I get inspo. It will take a while to come out because on top of work I have been trying to move. Heres another little snippet though, from the Circus arc.

William did not know if he could bear another long-winded sigh from his detestable bunk buddy. Ever since going to bed (each of them pantomiming human rest by laying flat on their backs and staring straight up at the ceiling), the demon had been letting out air louder than a kettle. If William didn't know better, he would say that the sounds are like a man in love with a woman who could never obtain. They were longing, frustrated, and nearly wounded. Obviously this was a charade, as Sebastian was a demon amongst demons when it came to his handling of others. A creature who toyed with his food and chased simple whimsical delights that took shape in humiliation or submission amongst humans.

Sebastian took into another breath and William spoke before that tremendous exhale could come.

"What is it?" He had never felt so exhausted in his unlife-- humoring the devil that routinely created so many hours of paperwork for him to complete.

"Oh well, if you must know..." Sebastians tone retained the melancholy from his sighs."

"No, forget I ask-"

"It might be difficult for you to understand as you don't have much experience with women," William let out strangled protests but Sebastian pressed on, "but I have run into a...bump in communication between myself and my lover."

William processed this for a second before sitting up.

"Wait- you couldn't possibly be admitting to me that you are having--- difficulties???" He was stunned, flabbergasted, flummoxed. This walking incarnation of pride actually-

"Oh no, certainly not. All this requires is patience but I find myself in short supply these days." Sebastian smoothly rejected William's inference. "My lover is delicate, I cannot grasp them too tightly or they will break. One of their most endearing traits is their independent nature, whilst I love their capricious ways I find myself at odds with the desire to tenderly care for them."

"I don't care-"

"For instance, they will not let me do their laundry. As it is a menial chore, I would be more than happy to lift the burden from their shoulders. There is no reason that they should worry their hands with such a laborious task when I can do it much faster with better results."

William laid back down and put both hands over his ears. Unfortunately, becoming a reaper had imparted enhanced senses.

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I love your Black Butler fics so much you have no idea omg. It’s so hard to find someone that I feel accurately writes Sebastian as a character 💔💔 hope to see more soon if you are writing more !!

the drafts are drafting, heres a sneak peek of one project:

There, sitting only with your (just recently lit) fireplace and a candle to light his board game, is your most dreaded client. He looks bored as he grumpily examines the game pieces with a look of distaste. The scene is an absurd relief to the various imaginary scenarios that played through your head like stray dogs in the street. You let out a noise, something between a sigh and a groan, as the fight or flight is punched out of your gut. Ciel Phantomhive jumps at the noise, he spins around in alarm before it morphs into his standard shit-eating smirk.

“Oh, terribly sorry. I thought you were taking visits, as your door was unlocked.”

Bullshit. He was so snuggly in his favorite chair, wrapped up in YOUR blanket, the smug look on his face dripped with self-satisfaction. He was all the warmer because he had broken into your office and nabbed your blanket. You would bet your left hand that the little bastard ordered his butler to break into your office because he didn’t want to bear the cold for a second longer–

The Butler.

You whipped around and braced yourself against the doorframe in the process, acting on instinct alone. It was the right call, the butler stood before you with a look of surprise- no doubt he was just leering over your shoulder waiting for the perfect moment to surprise you. Having spoiled his fun, he gives you a small pout. But just because you caught him before he could scare the soul from your body doesn’t mean you weren’t surprised. As you jolt away from him and curse, the butler brightens and assumes his usual faux personality.

“Goodness, are you alright? I just made some tea, please take a seat. The cold does no good to your bones”

Made your tea, in your teapot, in your office kitchenette, after breaking into your office. You fucking hated demons. You wish you could deprive him of all joy. To preserve your sanity you ignored him and the hand he offered you to presumably guide you to the chair opposite the young Phantomhive. With a heavy sigh you pushed off the doorframe and walked to your desk where you slumped into your chair.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, My Lord?” At least Sebastian had already started the fire, that was one chore to cross off your list.

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Can you please write a prompt abt sebastian michaelis x pathetic, who has never experienced anything romantic through out their life, has never experienced a man being romantic to her so she now thinks she's ugly, loser, virgin woman (ik its so oddly specific but i js wanna comfort myself right now) its okay if u dont want to thoo, its js a request lmaoo

Because you want comfort I would recommend asking someone else. I could write for this prompt but it would not be comforting because my characterization of Sebastian is an emotionally inept birdbrain at best and a maliciously opportunistic conman at worse.

But if you are interested in my general headcanon?

Sebastian doesn't get why you're upset and he doesn't particularly care. Experienced or not it doesn't matter, Sebastian is only possessive over your attention so only potential bedmates concern him. He will need to "train" you regardless of your past experiences, anyway.

In his mind, Victorian society expects women to be inexperienced prior to their first (and final) relationship so he doesn't get why you are upset about uh...conforming to social expectations? He might ask a few questions but it all goes over his head because this doesn't impact his ability to be with you in the present. It would be different if you had a binding relationship with someone (ex:marriage) because then he would have to kill the individual. Depending on your relationship, if you start crying because you feel unattractive well...

Casual: he acts the part of the perfect partner and is doting and sweet. after this he will cut you off without warning and you will never hear from him again. many have cried in front of him and many will do so in the future- he has a tight script to follow for perfect results. he is ultimately put-off.

Close: he doesn't know what to do and why you feel this way and after standing there for a second would probably just leave to make tea because that's all he knows can sorta help. If you are with it enough to explain to him what will comfort you, he will try to the best of his ability (and he does terribly). he is ultimately confused and alarmed.

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I have been writing a more serialized Sebastian Michaelis x fem! Reader for a bit now. I was wondering which would be preferred for Readers:

Option 1: Full on Isekai, reader has watched/read Black Butler. Knows basic characters and plot points. Aware that Sebastian is a demon. Meta knowledge.

Option 2: Implied Isekai, reader doesn't know about Black Butler. Knows Sebastian is strange but can only speculate on wtf is wrong with him.

For Option 1: Reader doesn't believe Sebastians advances are sincere and assumes he is trying to 'trap' them. Ex: Sebastian gives Reader flowers and Reader goes "you're not going to catch me lacking, demon. i know your tricks" guarded

For Option 2: Reader is unsure what to make of Sebastian and tends to ignore/rationalize his advances. Ex: Sebastian gives Reader flowers and Reader goes "must be a bribe. or hes just a womanizer. well, whatever." dismissive

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I’ve been thinking, what if Luci’s snek is just him. Like Luci himself. He can feel things through that snek?