bulldogblues - Tumblr blog

[bulldogblues]

ABBA outros too.

abba intros save me. save me abba intros. abba intros

[bulldogblues]

'Gender as a customisation centre' is quite the sentence.

What never helps is how people keep (maliciously?) misinterpreting rad fems saying they want to abolish gender as meaning they want to abolish everything traditionally associated with gender. As opposed to what it actually is - aiming for a world where your sex isn't seen as saying anything about you as a person and being irrelevant outside of obvious scenarios where it matters like reproductive health.

No one's trying to take away anyone's hobbies or interests - merely the association of those things with masculinity and femininity.

I don't agree with when someone uses being 'gender critical' as an excuse to bully trans and non-binary people who've done nothing to deserve it, which does sometimes happen.

But even though it's said in different words, a lot of the 'gender diverse' crowd want the same thing as rad fems do. But be prepared to be crucified if you tell them that!

The worst thing about being a millennial feminist is learning in school that gender is a brutal hierarchal patriarchal system through which all sexist oppression is enforced but 10 years later seeing people talk about it as though it's a personal horoscope or style profile. And then people ask you "What's your Gender" like it's a Hogwarts House (but they hate the Hogwarts Lady)

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Horrifying stats all around.

Though one part that surprises me is that second chart. Trans men and trans women are victimised at broadly similar rates for all cases except dating where it's drastically more for trans men?

IDK if the study went into that much detail but a breakdown by who they're dating would help with context- if it was mainly trans women dating other women who responded it's more believable but I'd be genuinely shocked if it's as few as 6% of trans women who date men being victimised while dating.

now post the homicide statistics for trans demographics

Alright I'll post some violence stats o7

(From: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/survey-2022/assets/static/trevor01_2022survey_final.pdf)

(From: https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2015/07/23/op-ed-trans-men-experience-far-more-violence-most-people-assume )

(Source: https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/transgender-day-remembrance-advocates-honor-lives-lost-violence-n938401)

(Stats above relate to fatal violence in 2023, source: https://www.hrc.org/resources/fatal-violence-against-the-transgender-and-gender-expansive-community-in-2023)

(Source: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/research-briefs/sexual-violence-and-suicide-risk-among-lgbtq-young-people/)

(Source: https://dailybruin.com/2021/04/08/ucla-study-finds-transgender-people-face-greater-rates-of-violent-victimization)

Most stats show the biggest indicator of a trans person's likelihood to be murdered in the united states is race, with Black Transgender Women having the highest rate of murder by far.

Of course murder is not the only form of violence that affects the transgender community, sexual violence is most commonly experienced by transgender men which is likely a leading cause of the disproportionately high transmasculine suicide rate.

Violence against transgender people of all kinds is under-reported, especially since if a transgender individual was misgendered by everyone in their life and got murdered there is no one around to affirm what their true gender identity is.

I will never, ever say any transgender identity has it easier than the others, because what makes life "easy" is defined by so many different factors, what we need is solidarity within the trans community because across the board transgender people face violence and discrimination at higher rates than cisgender people.

What we need as a community is to have the space to combat all forms of bigotry and oppression than trans people face, no matter which transgender identity faces that bigotry and violence at the highest rate.

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Any excuse to put the blame back on the woman.

Because it's not like there have ever been men who acted sweet and caring until his partner was trapped in some way (such as, IDK, birthing a child), and then flipping a switch.

And even if he was always like that, 'you missed red flags in your relationship therefore you should suffer for the whole rest of your life' is such a shitty take, seriously where is your humanity?

[bulldogblues]

Mind if I add a couple more?

- Is poking fun at 'vanilla' people who don't take part in kinks a rebellious subversion of the status quo, or is it laying the groundwork to further disrespect women's boundaries by telling them to not be 'prudish'?

- If you call out misogyny, racism, homophobia etc. in mainstream media, do you do the same in the kink you see depicted?

- Since the tagline is 'safe, sane and consensual', do you call out activities or ways of performing them that are explicitly NOT safe?

I want more lefties to critically think about the topic of kink.

- Do you really think it’s a topic of consent when it’s used to defend rapists and pedos in court?

- Do you really think it’s okay or do you support it because right wing people don’t like it?

- Does kink actually subvert the status quo when it IS misogynistic and racist and violent?

- Also does kink even need to be shown out in public if it’s so ‘consensual’ and explicitly about sex?

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Two reasons:

The men who say this give precisely zero fucks about male victims. They just want to shut down the conversation. You can tell because they never bring it up in any other context, plus the men and women out there doing work to support male victims don't do that shit.

They conflate being victimised with weakness - for women they 'expect' it but when it's a man victimised instead they see it as him being weak and somehow deserving it.

Why are men addicted to saying shit like "men get raped too! checkmate feminism" and then turning around and laughing when men get raped or assaulted?!

The number of dudes I see making jokes about the men who were harassed or assaulted by P Diddy...like Jesus Christ. Have some fucking empathy here?

"It's funny because diddy was doing gay shit" he was trafficking and beating people but OK.

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As a hungarian, I think the very idea of gendered pronouns is silly but also very telling, why would we need different sounds when communicating about people based on their sex? Because gendered pronouns carry certain conotations obviously and its meant to other females even further.

Which is why when people say they "feel more comfortable using this or that set of pronouns" its because pronouns carry everything associated with the sex it is used for.

Its why the english language treats females like a second thought, like a sub category, while males are centered. Its woMEN, MANkind, feMALE, sHE, and its not a coincidence.

Hungarian only has the pronoun "o", its used for everyone no matter their sex, and it doesn't cause any confusion. Not sure why hungarian evolved like this but for gendered languages its very interesting to observe and analyse how the vocabulary has adapted around the male experience.

Words are powerful.

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This is actually mindblowing to me as someone who refuses to move onto a new sentence until I've fully absorbed the previous one.

You do you I suppose but this will never make sense to me.

Do they know that reading is not mandatory? Nobody is forcing them to read?

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Not a fan of the phrase 'trans activists' but the rest of this post is absolutely fantastic.

idk who needs to hear this but suggesting that females are more nurturing/nice and that should be the “default” way of being, as opposed to the Manly behaviours of Not being those things, is still gender ideology. like you all really need to get used to the fact that females and males are born with a blank slate beyond reproductive capacities that only exist *if* we can/want to use them. women can be cruel, harsh, abusive criminals. and I know it might sound counter-productive, but we actually have to let that be a fact before we can reach liberation. it doesn’t mean all women will or should go and be those things, but you have to see it as a *possibility* that doesn’t de-female them before you can seek an end to patriarchy. feminists have to start acknowledging that male and female brains are literally the same before they can start telling trans activists they are. because I see far too many accusations of “manliness” or “misogyny” (implying manliness) when women are Bad. I’m against abuse full stop. but I have to accept that women are *capable* of it, without it indicating manliness or male influence, if I’m to see past the patriarchal world. women who were abused by their mothers as children are still shamed/guilted into seeing how their mothers must have been influenced by males in some way because even radical feminism can’t fathom Bad Women. you need to get over the “women are nurturing” gender shit

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“Honor Killing” needs to leave our lexicon, it’s the same as “revenge porn”. It should be called what it is: religiously motivated femicide.

[bulldogblues]

There's a lot of misconceptions about what weaponized incompetence (WI) is, so here are a few examples of what's often considered WI when it really isn't.

A miscommunication between partners

A key hallmark of WI is that no matter how many times you have the conversation, the partner doing it will still 'not get it', will make little to no effort to improve, won't empathise with your point of view etc.

Because they never had any intention of doing better.

If you're in a relationship and believe your partner may be weaponizing incompetence, 100% have the conversation. Maybe it genuinely was a communication issue. But if it continues after that, that's the proof you need that it was WI all along.

A difference in standards

Contrary to popular belief, WI doesn't mean they have low standards - they might have low standards anyway, but that's not what WI is about. WI is about manipulating your partner into doing the task for you - so they do want it done, they just want someone else to be the one doing it.

They can claim not to care about the dirty dishes in the sink, and maybe they mean it, but that argument goes out the window the moment they insist on a clean plate and cutlery for dinner. Because that proves they DO care about them getting cleaned, they're just refusing to clean them.

Litmus test: to tell the difference between WI and low standards, don't pick up the slack for a bit and see how they react. If they truly have low standards and don't care, it'll be NBD to them. But if they comment on it or even have the audacity to criticise you...

A partner who explicitly tells you the chores are your responsibility

I've been keeping it gender-neutral until now because WI can be used by any gender against any gender, but this particular example will be about a man and a woman, because it's overwhelmingly done by men against women compared to other demographics.

A man who tells his partner that she's responsible for the housework/the childcare/etc. is NOT weaponizing incompetence. There is no claim whatsoever that he isn't capable of doing it - he simply feels it's her responsibility to do it and his entitlement not to have to.

This man is a sexist, entitled, awful human being, but he's being upfront about it. WI essentially combines the entitlement with manipulation and lies.

Someone who genuinely can't do or struggles with chores due to disability or neurodiversity

WI is all about FAKING incompetence. Being unable to do something, or having difficulty with it, is not the same.

An easy way to tell the difference is if someone is making an earnest effort to improve/find ways to come up with a solution that works/starts a conversation with their partner about how to handle it.

Someone can be ND and still weaponize incompetence, but most ND people are not doing this.

There are several other examples I could mention. But the key summary of what weaponized incompetence is comes down to this:

It's on purpose

They refuse to learn or improve and instead expect others to pick up the slack

They take no accountability

Conversations about it lead to no meaningful change

[bulldogblues]

It's so common for blatant Conservatives to claim to be radfem or radfem allies and then spout off a bunch of bullshit about gender nonconforming, calling the LGBT community 'groomers' etc. People like that have no right to call themselves 'gender critical' because they embrace regressive gender notes about as hard as they possibly could.

She has REALLY gone downhill.

This happens to a certain portion of gender critical women who do not have feminist base. They are not interested in almost any other feminist cause besides being gender critical - and sometimes, with what she has intimated about gender non-conforming people, it might be better called transphobia.

Sexual assault by trans women is bad. But it doesn’t matter when someone who “knows what a woman is” does it, repeatedly. Creeping on teenage girls in changing rooms by trans women as bad. But she doesn’t care about that when Trump does it.

In no other way does Trump care about women, he is an out-and-out misogynist. But if all you care about is trans people and their impact on women and not really men and men’s impact on women, you end up like her.

It’s not even “Trump is the only hope for gender critical women, or women in general”. It’s “for the world”. This is disappointing, but not entirely unpredictable.

[bulldogblues]

Queen Frida again at the Voyage Arena

I lost the count of how many times she went to see the concert

I envy so much the people there

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I really should stop caring about random Facebook memes that get shared around, but this one is so abhorrent I couldn't let it pass without comment.

First, how the hell are you comparing female content creators on OnlyFans to drug dealers? What the actual fuck. I near guarantee whoever made this meme watches porn too so it's hypocritical on top of shaming women in sex work.

Second, can we PLEASE stop spreading the blatant misinformation that masses of women are getting rich off the platform? Depending on what source you're reading, the average income for an OnlyFans content creator is between $150 and $180 a month. Here in the UK that's equivalent to 10-12 hours working at a minimum wage job, and that's across an entire month.

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Seriously, teaching yourself how to code at the age of nine is straight up genius level intellect, what a shit dad to not big that up in every way possible.

May princess programmer wherever she is have all the best of everything, because with determination like that and a father like that it's the least she deserves.

[bulldogblues]

Still relevant over 40 years later.

“Any story dealing, however seriously, with homosexual love is taken to be a story about homosexuality while stories dealing with heterosexual love are seen as stories about the individual people they portray. This is as much a problem today for American filmmakers who cannot conceive of the presence of gay characters in a film unless the specific subject of the film is homosexuality. Lesbians and gay men are thereby classified as purely sexual creatures, people defined solely by their sexual urges.”

— Vito Russo, The Celluloid Closet: Homosexuality in the Movies (Chapter 4)

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This, plus they often don't consider sexism to be 'as bad' as other forms of oppression.

My working theory right now is the only reason people think lesbians aren’t ‘as oppressed’ as gay men is because they don’t know or willingly omit the truth that being objectified is another form of bigotry and oppression