bullet-enchanter

[bullet-enchanter]

im enchanting swords and shit cuz im in fucking Minecraft

[bullet-enchanter]

*thunder crackling*

THOU ART LISTENING TO

*fireball explosion*

102.3

*bubbling cauldron*

REAL WIZARDS FM

*shimmering mana crystal*

WHERE WE PLAYETH NOTHING BUT CHANTS, CHANTS, AND MORE CHANTS

*wololo*

THIS ART NOT THINE ELDER MATRIARCH'S STATION

*Imagine Dragons - Radioactive starts playing*

[bullet-enchanter]

[bullet-enchanter]

literally me

[bullet-enchanter]

Well I consider myself an enchanter/alchemist but you sound like a warlock. It's outside of you and you control it. These labels are not final though. In the end: We are all wizards.

[bullet-enchanter]

Well, are you in control of it or is the gun doing what it wants to do?

[bullet-enchanter]

To Whom It May Concern,

As part of my duties as Overseer of Wizard Island Island and its multi dimensional territories, I am responsible for taking Housing Census of all Willing and Sentient Folk who abide here.

All I ask is any Written/Illustrated/Psychically Transmitted Description of your current residence, as well as cultural or geographically notable Landmarks nearby. If you wish to include direction (ie. North, West, Southeast) I will attempt to include you on the Wizard Island Island Map as well.

PLEASE NOTE: Information you share MAY be included in records or documents considered public access. DO NOT INCLUDE SENSITIVE INFORMATION or ANY information if you have had issues with the GOBLIN MAFIA at any point in history.

I hope this Letter finds you well,

-@cavolfire-the-roasted Overseer of the Brassica Sect of Magic and Territories of Wizard Island Island

Dear Overseer,

I have been living inside the Illegal Wizard Council quarters without their knowledge for a while now. Otherwise I am completely nomadic. If I have to specify a place of residency, I have a storage shed just to the north of the docks.

It is a humble shed, wooden and somewhat rotten. I think it is being held together by the excess arcana I leave behind after my rituals. I sometimes sleep in it but for some reason it is maddeningly loud inside. It sounds like a forest. Physically it is quite unremarkable. Just one thing, however, makes it difficult for me to keep it unremarkable. The wooden boards grow stems with flowers and leaves. I don't know why it happens and I've asked many faefolk about it. They haven't been able to give me a conclusive answer. It gets a lot in the spring. Imagine a house with an overgrown tree inside of it but this time the house itself is the tree. I am afraid it might grow into one if I stop caring for it.

I have carved a sigil of power on the door to the shed. I know there are better sigils to use, especially when it comes to protecting magically charged artifacts inside of a shed but the sigil is more or less representative of me. I have to recarve it every fortnight. The walls seem to heal themselves quite quickly.

Just so we are clear, I don't care who the council sends. I am not paying property taxes! I would appreciate it if my residency appeared on the map as well. It would make my travels a tad easier.

Best regards,

Sulphur the Bullet Enchanter

[bullet-enchanter]

Luckily those rat bastards kept their grubby hands away from my non-fucking orbs.

I got shot AGAIN and SOMEONE has stolen my fucking orbs!!

Anyway, due to unpopular demand, I will be making a new guide soon. I am open to suggestions.

[bullet-enchanter]

I got shot AGAIN and SOMEONE has stolen my fucking orbs!!

Anyway, due to unpopular demand, I will be making a new guide soon. I am open to suggestions.

[bullet-enchanter]

I cannot confirm nor deny.

Call me a gun the way I am loaded.

[bullet-enchanter]

end of the world

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

[bullet-enchanter]

They're onto us...

While you’re out arguing whether necromancers or illusionists are more evil, the evocation caster just set 15 people and various nearby inanimate objects on fire, which is a clear breach of Protocol III of The United Nations Convention on Certain Conventional Weapons, thus constituting a war crime. In this essay I will —

[bullet-enchanter]

Apprentices initiate duels with me with their new spells and their "modern ways" not knowing my secret weapon.

Lead is timeless.

[bullet-enchanter]

Hey, look! New MTF bottom surgery dropped!

Haiku spells should have

Elements of nature talk

Invert the penis

[bullet-enchanter]

Why do we, as wizards, don't talk about guns? We should all, collectively, talk about guns more.

[bullet-enchanter]

types of wizard:

sex wizard

software wizard / setup wizard

comp wizard

evil wizard

[bullet-enchanter]

The lack of any wizards is oddly terrifying.

Almost as if something is about to happen...

the tumblr system! featuring: @pukicho, @firefox-official, @i-am-a-fish w/ @woman-becomer, @orteil42, and @spicymochi!

let me know if I should add any more!