caffeine-and-catastrophe

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To the absolutley panicked walmart employee who SHOUTED "Manager to the compactor please! Manager to the compactor!" over the intercom last night:

I wish you all the best at your next job

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“i don’t understand how you just get so much stuff done under pressure and like don’t freak out” i just go into autopilot bro like i genuinely do not know what happens in high volume situations. i let my body deal with that shit. not for me

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Quarantine better end before my liver does

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i feel personally called out

I made this because I actually did manage to brush my teeth tonight. Mimnty :-)

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there are people who sit down…..they sit down and they say “i have to do this thing i don’t want to do.” and they do the thing. they fucking do it. like what the fuck is up with that

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The Stages of Not Leaving Your Apartment.

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I love how irrelevant tumblr is. like no celebrities on here, no colleagues or family on here, no one’s famous off tumblr or making money, tbh no ones even updating the site like is there even any staff? who knows? it’s bliss

[caffeine-and-catastrophe]

my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. “your hot bread is done,” she says to me. disgusting

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why are we still here? just to suffer? every day i charge devices

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i came into this world by accident it’s only suiting i go out by it as well 

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If you came here expecting humor you will be gravely disappointed for i am but repository for pointless ramblings, bad jokes, and incoherent thoughts

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One thing I don't understand about social anxiety is the fear of being seen with material things... Like oh you have luggage that takes up space? Loser

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the inside of the fridge is brighter than my future

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This is too accurate for comfort

i’m saving my brain for special occasions. if i use it every day it’ll get dirty

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Yes... *muffled sobbing*

do u ever see what ppl ur age are accomplishing and ur just like “wow” and u go back to bed

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You've reached a whole new level of Wikipedia addiction when you find yourself looking at their merch