cagallinger

[cagallinger]

Unmitigated Delusions

Honesty. I don’t know who I have been trying to fool. Myself, or everyone else around me. I don’t know exactly where to start or where I am supposed to be going in life. I turned 40 this year, and I suppose that magical number has made me pause and take a good, hard look at my life. Is this really where I expected myself to be all those years ago? I don’t know how to answer that. I never…

[cagallinger]

Goodbye 2023. Hello, Possibility?

Somehow, against all odds, I have made it to the end of another year. If you’re reading this, that means you have too. That is an accomplishment, considering the chaotic state of the world surrounding us. I’d say getting to this point in time is something pretty remarkable. I’m taking whatever little wins I can right now. This has been one hell of a year. Every new year comes with unlimited…

[cagallinger]

Title Unknown

So. It’s nearly the end of September. September. Seriously. Where have the days gone? I find myself perplexed about this current situation. I am no farther along than I was this time last year, in fact, I may be more behind in the grand scheme of things. That’s what I am still trying to figure out for myself. Is it odd that I have no sense of time or reason? That the fleeting seasons are one…

[cagallinger]

April Showers Bring Happiness?

Fresh starts and old dreams collide. Perhaps this is the right time. #WritingCommunity #Blogging

Things just feel different these days. I can’t quite put my finger on it, there is something in the air. A lightness that has been missing, something out there to grasp onto, and bring back to life. It’s as though the past few months, perhaps even longer, are finally finding some peace of mind. Instead of constantly clawing away at my insides, trying to escape, they are slumbering. It may be…

[cagallinger]

Sleep Deprivation and Rainbows

What happens when you lose yourself to the fog? #WritingCommunity #Blogging

This week has been one of the longest, hellish weeks I’ve had in a while (and that’s saying something). Lately, it feels as though chaos is permanently attached to me no matter where I go. When things are finally feeling right with the world, there is always something that comes along and knocks me back on my ass. It’s exhausting, and I’m not sure how I can keep myself from crawling into a hole…

[cagallinger]

Rewinding Optional

Are the best parts yet to come? Or have they already come and gone? #WritingCommunity #blog

Oh, look. Here we are in another month, another year, another day. And so on and so forth. Do I have my ‘act’ together? Is there a big difference between now and who I was a year ago? I don’t know if I have the answer to that question. I’d like to think that I have progressed in mind, body, and soul, but maybe I am just bullshitting myself. It’s easy to do that, especially when you have all…

[cagallinger]

New Year. Old Problems.

Here's to a new year! May it be your best one yet. #WritingCommunity #Blog

Wouldn’t it be lovely if at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s that all the problems, strife, and conundrums would reset and there would be a clean slate to work from? A new beginning is made possible by putting up with one catastrophe after another when in reality it doesn’t end in the blink of an eye, it carries over into the new year. Making glaring accusations of trying to leave those “hard…

[cagallinger]

The Little Train That Could Not

I'm stuck in my head again. Waiting for the world to end. #WritingCommunity #blog #amwriting

I have no steam. No get up and go. Nothing is able to propel me up this impossibly steep hill. I try to recollect myself and salvage the energy that has seeped away into the nothingness, but it has a mind of its own. Powerless to fight, it overwhelms me and I have to relinquish any type of control I thought I had. Living with Chronic Fatigue isn’t always predictable either. There are days when I…

[cagallinger]

A Writer's Conundrum

Keep writing. Don't let the voices win. #WritingCommunity #blog #amwriting

Have you ever been so inspired by an idea that it’s constantly gnawing at the back of your mind until you’re able to find some way to release it? It consumes you until you are able to put pen to paper, or fingers to the keyboard. These are the ideas that keep striking me at random, and when I try to put words to my thoughts, it never seems to do them justice. It has become a frustrating and…

[cagallinger]

The Frenzy and the Beast

Maybe the odds ARE in our favour. #amwriting #blog #WritingCommunity

My mind is going off on a constant, rapid succession of thoughts. There are ideas dancing in my head, so many well-meaning and possible steps in a different direction. That’s usually how it is though, most of the time those ideas never see the light of day. I want to change that and actually DO something. Be something. Anything. I’m done with the walls closing in on me and now feels like the…

[cagallinger]

Summer of Madness

Summer listlessness, take me away. #WritingCommunity #Blog

I don’t know whether I am coming or going these days. There are some days that leave me questioning if I am losing my position in life or my direction. It feels as though I am constantly on the verge of going over the edge, freefalling into the abyss of my own making. When I type that, it makes me sound so melodramatic. I am not one to overshare my circumstances with those I am closest to, so I…

[cagallinger]

The Grand Splendor of Nothingness

Is this all there is? Am I enough? I just don't know anymore. #amwriting #WritingCommunity #blog

It’s been a little while. Not as long as my last hiatus mind you, but it’s been well over a month. Looking back at the hellish landscape that I just came from, I’m thankful that it’s almost over. There has been an over abundance of time to think and reflect, which isn’t always a positive situation to be in. The spiral has begun, but it won’t be the end all be all this time. Just restless thoughts…

[cagallinger]

Small Steps. Big Feats.

One small step is all it takes. #WritingCommunity #Blog #amwriting

I try not to plan too far ahead. Instead, I have learned to measure my life in moments, minutes really. Expectations are lower, and there is little room for disappointment when ideas or grand schemes don’t turn out quite the way it was initially envisioned. This is what many call “rolling with the punches”, and it used to sound so barbaric to me, why would anyone want to do that? Why not have a…

[cagallinger]

Clouded Adventures

Nothing is ever as it seems. #Blogging #Blog #WritingCommunity

This month I am struggling with keeping my proverbial shit together. My faculties are not as sharp as I wish they were and I find myself idling and lost in thought more often than not. Why DID I come into the kitchen? I knew it was for something important, but finding out the answer almost seems like a lost cause. The brain fog has been front and center and there is no way to see past it right…

[cagallinger]

Endless Circles

Life is messy, time to clean it up. #WritingCommunity #blog #amwriting

So… April is upon us yet again. I haven’t been feeling quite myself lately. It’s been hard to reach through all of the BS and try to find something constructive to put out into the world. Perhaps constructive is the wrong way of going about things, maybe it doesn’t matter what I write, just the fact that I am writing. Even when I really don’t want to. I’m not sure where my spark has gotten to,…

[cagallinger]

Absent in Mind

The fog surrounds me and it won't let go. #WritingCommunity #Blog #amwriting

Everything around me feels like it’s moving in slow motion. Or maybe I’m the one who is moving at an excruciatingly slow pace, unable to keep up with the whirlwind around me. Feeling as though I am going to get left behind, again, and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. I cannot focus on anything other than the passing of time, watching as the moments slip from my grasp. There are days…

[cagallinger]

These are the Days

The final day for the #Write28Days Challenge is here! It's been quite a month. New days are on the horizon. #WritingCommunity #blog #amwriting #tired

This post not only marks the end of the #Write28Days Challenge, but it also happens to be the 100th post I’ve made on this blog! I have gone through sporadic bouts of writing on here, but I intend to update it more often, maybe not every single day, but I plan on being more present. This has become a good outlet for whatever is on my mind at any given moment, which seems to be switching from one…