captainszofi

[captainszofi]

"... 😦"

Herold in a bunny costume as a birthday present to myself.

[captainszofi]

Everyone keeps askin' me... "Cap'n, why do ye use a bow instead of a crossbow? Ain't it slower?"

An' ta that I say, crossbows make killin' too easy.

[captainszofi]

What's not seen 'ere is the lil red bastard kicking my shin and then yelpin' that it hurt.

He can't shut up.

OH wait yeah he can

[captainszofi]

Captain Szofi's new ref 💖🙏

[captainszofi]

OOC: HOW MANY DAYS HAS MY REBLOGS BEING GOING HERE </3

[captainszofi]

General Guthrik and Captain Szofi

Two high ranking pillagers decide to celebrate their recent successful raid with a bit of “suspicious stew.”

Szofi owned by @0tterpaws, Guthrik owned by me lol. Inspired by this tag on their reblog! Really like how the villagers and illagers are armadillos in their take, it's a unique interpretation.

[captainszofi]

...Think I just got a fear o' cats.

[captainszofi]

"Do ya want me ta talk to him? Or maybe get yer tribe's leader?" Szofi narrows her eyes, cracking her knuckles in her palm- despite her fears of the Transmutator, she'd fought worse.

“Hosts, somebody please help me.”

“My colleague, Theudofrid the Transmutator, has been chasing me around the mansion in a cat costume. He is speaking in some grotesque falsetto and calling himself ‘Mittens’.”

Herold is out of breath, on the verge of tears. “What did I do to deserve this???”

[captainszofi]

"So, Anon, you're NEVER gonna believe this..."

Ever had illagers run off with humans? Sometimes humans are into other things and we call it "monster fucking"

Herold’s nose wrinkles and eyebrows bristle, and he clutches his chest in the manner of a flustered churchgoer. “Oh dear. How obscene.” He clears his throat, regaining his poise, “Hrrm, I struggle to see the appeal, really. Repeat this to no-one, but this empire is littered with beasts and lechers, even of the supposed civilized class. I was rather handsome as a young man, and I was subject to the wandering eyes and hands of the foulest hogs in fineries you could imagine. It nauseated me.”

“I received various proposals for courtship, all of which I refused, as I was, and am, far too busy with my work to have been bedding some leering baroness. I do not receive them as much nowadays, which I appreciate.”

[captainszofi]

"OH SO THAT TWAT SPOOKS YA TOO??"

“Hosts, somebody please help me.”

“My colleague, Theudofrid the Transmutator, has been chasing me around the mansion in a cat costume. He is speaking in some grotesque falsetto and calling himself ‘Mittens’.”

Herold is out of breath, on the verge of tears. “What did I do to deserve this???”

[captainszofi]

[captainszofi]

Don't like all this recent talk 'bout humans. Don't like humans in general.

[captainszofi]

Howdy there.. Again.

I'd like to ask something, How strong your gear are?

and If you know or not, there is something better then diamond gear in the underworld!

"Mmm, my gear?" Her ears perk up, smiling. One of the rare few things she was knowledgable about was armor, and she was always happy to educate.

"My armor's a mix of leather armor and a standard gambeson. I wear chainmail underneath to protect against slashes an' stabs. Nothin' too fancy, like them royal guards wearin their diamond-infused steel." She chuckles, crossing her arms.

"My axe and bow are the more fanciful objects o' mine. My bow's made out of warped wood- gives it a hell of a recurve, and it's got phantom membranes instead o' lamb sinew for a string. Durable thing, it's saved my arse plenty o' times.. An' my axe! It was a gift from the Arch Illager himself when he put me in office- bless his highness. Diamond, enchanted. Now I ain't smart enough ta know what the enchantments are, but it hits like a mad ravager."

"Yer talkin' bout uh..." Szofi taps her chin, squinting, "That netherite, think it's called, right? Seen a few piglins waltzing around innit. Pretty stuff. Now, I ain't never been one for extravagance, but even I know I'd be a lucky wee lass to have my mitts on some good quality armor like that."

[captainszofi]

"N... nice scars." (Ignoring every alarm bell in her mind /silly) -@captainszofi

“Thanks, sweetie. Nice ears.”

Theud stares at you with a cold gaze. He smiles, but it feels like a wax figure. It doesn’t reach his eyes.

[captainszofi]

Oi, Thaumaturge. I heard you're dealing with disrespect from subordinates- you need help knocking some heads straight, you come to me, alright? I gotta lot of respect for doctors.

-@captainszofi

“…Why thank you, dear. I appreciate the gesture.” Herold smiles at you, genuinely pleased.

[captainszofi]

"Cute." Szofi crossed her arms, backing up to regain her personal bubble. Lazuli was skeeving her out quite a bit, Szofi's expression analytical.

"I'd choose a wolf. Strength in numbers, strength by themself. Doesn't have to rely on pretty feathers or a sharp beak n' tongue to get by." The raid captain gestured to Lazuli's rich getup.

Don't like those eyes you got... got a certain hunger to them. Hunger of a predator.

-@captainszofi

“And your eyes carry the dullness of a prey animal. Let’s have a little thought experiment. Tell me now, which would you rather be, the hawk or the rabbit?” Soothsayer leans closer, his eyes as beady as a sharks. “I choose the hawk.”

[captainszofi]

WHERE DID YOU GET THIIIISSSSSS??????????

✨️Courtship✨️