chai-lemonade

[chai-lemonade]

So glad to see this trending again with AP exams because… guess what? It’s still just! As! Shitty!!! Sending much love to trans students this time of year 🫶🫶🫶

Small rant because I am PISSED at Collegeboard.

I’m transgender and was finally able to get my name changed (not legally, simply as a note in my records and my birth name made invisible to others) in my email and school system; which is connected to Collegeboard as I take numerous AP classes and the PSAT (and eventually an important SAT.) I received about 5 different emails congratulating me for being BrAvE eNoUgH to add a preferred name to their system, all of which used my deadname to congratulate me. On Changing My Name. It felt ironic, so I just laughed it off.

Than the problems began.

I take my PSAT a few months ago, and when scores come out, I’m unable to access it. Period. I went back and forth over the course of 20 emails, giving over my information and communicating just to be told at the end that it was never an issue they could help me with and that it was a “login issue” and that was somehow my fault. That maybe I was just misremembering my password despite the fact that I could get into my account.

I called, and was told the same thing. I was eventually able to get my guidance counselor to physically print out my scores because that was the best she could do for me (still couldn’t access them through my account!) I scored within the top ten percent in my state and have a 3.9 GPA, which qualified me for a recognition program that gives out important scholarships (which I need any I can get or else I’m not able to go to even an in-state part-time college) as a First Generation College student.

I got an email notifying me of this, and when I clicked the link, I was immediately blocked through my account from the page, saying i was never invited to confirm my eligibility. I try again, same thing. I meet the requirements, but it won’t even show me the page. Once again, I realize that making two minuscule changes that shouldn’t have affected anything have blocked me from ANOTHER important thing for college. It has been a year since I changed my name and I am still unable to access anything through Collegeboard and have received zero help for the numerous times I’ve reached out.

While it’s not explicit transphobia, it is still a BLARING issue of bias programming; for a company that set aside the time to make code to send an email when you change your name, I absolutely should not be experiencing such major issues that are continually blocking me from important opportunities due to changing my preferred name in the system. I don’t know who else this has happened to, but I don’t think I’m the only one.

Sort out your bugs and stop forcing trans kids to jump through a million hoops to access basic features on your website and still be excluded from important opportunities before sending out your automated emails for pride.

[chai-lemonade]

Hey I need some advice with family

Specifically my mother. We don’t really have a relationship as she wasn’t around and just generally not great/cause a lot of traumatizing stuff for me due to mental illness and refusal to change. I’m 17 now, and my father’s finally divorcing her but not yet fully but it’s complicated but that’s besides the point.

She kinda had a breakdown due to that a few days ago and accused my father of jobstalking her and in her paranoia essentially made me think that he was roaming around and might be looking to harm her/me/our family and just overall? And also accused him of cheating and made me think she may kill herself (not directly but still) and a few hours later in the middle of the night stood outside my door in the hallway with a flashlight for like ten minutes???? Just Not a great night especially when it turned out to all be nothing. I usually am just kinda passive and am like “it’s fine I’m done with this” to avoid conflict and just have stuff end, but this time I was like no, I am angry at everyone. I don’t forgive you. I didn’t yell or anything but I was angry and stormed off.

My father advised that me and my sister stay at my grandmothers for the weekend so I didn’t come home for the last like five days since that happened, and just came home today to a gift for Easter on my bed that she actually put effort into for a rare occasion. It was just a small bag with little goodies but she matched the color of the bag with the stuffing paper and signed the tag with my actual name (I’m trans, she doesn’t ever acknowledge my name) and aaaaerrrrrgggghhhhh im kinda fucked up with her doing something nice and I feel like I can’t be angry now because she did something nice???

I don’t know if I’m just being too harsh on her but at the same time she’s never taken accountability nor a role in my life and this is the most recent event in a long string of things throughout my life. She also made dinner for once tonight so she provided for me?? Is it a sign of guilt? Can I still be mad???

[chai-lemonade]

[chai-lemonade]

TSA leave trans people alone challenge (impossible)

[chai-lemonade]

Hey gang I’m opening up commissions- 1-2 characters with simple/no bg for 5$ through cashapp!! I will literally draw anything sfw please please please please

Here’s some of my art, please dm me if you’re interested!!!

[chai-lemonade]

bitches will hear a song and be like 'this makes me feel like i have a gaping hole in my chest' and then they put it on repeat. its me im bitches

[chai-lemonade]

This is genuinely a terrifying message to receive with the confirmation of working with Trump so directly: if tiktok gets reinstated, PLEASE be very careful and think *very* critically about the videos that come across your feed.

We’ve seen how these associations have influenced platforms (cough cough, Elon and x, cough cough) and with TikTok quite literally owing its future existence to Trump, I have very little doubt that this influence will show through the future algorithms.

I don’t think it’ll be as obvious as X, which is honestly even more dangerous. Keep an eye out for alt right keywords and ideas, and think critically about the opinions crossing your feed. Don’t forget this man has a seat of HONOR at Trump’s inauguration.

[chai-lemonade]

Ncuti Gatwa as Algernon Moncrieff in "The Importance of Being Earnest"

[chai-lemonade]

[chai-lemonade]

[guy who is trying so hard to not express his suicidal ideation] another day haha. back at it!

[chai-lemonade]

Trying so hard to make 2025 my year but I don’t know if that’s happening

[chai-lemonade]

I think 2024 killed a part of my soul all over again. But I survived. I couldn’t go as far to say I lived, but I survived.

[chai-lemonade]

you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they’re gonna find out

[chai-lemonade]

[chai-lemonade]

Guys I need your brutally honest opinion of me based off my kinned characters for science

[chai-lemonade]

Received this text today from out of the blue and bawled my eyes out when I finally thought I was doing better. It’s her first time living, but it’s mine as well. She had the age, resources, experience, and help to get better and she still choose to not get better.

I understand just how deeply she is hurt, but she hurt me too. A lot. It was never intentional, but a parent being so dysfunctional takes a toll on a kid.

The worst part is that she probably saw it and sent it to me without much of a second thought. Because it was never that serious, and never will be.

Healing is taking things as they come, but man does it suck sometimes.

[chai-lemonade]

I find my bpd mood calendar very funny sometimes