chimera-summer

[chimera-summer]

Okay, I have been neglecting this blog, and unfortunately I have new things to say with regard to intersexism... Due to recent events...

Some who follow me have already gotten some of the play-by-play torment so, hi, but basically I have been spending some time doing some dating around. And, eventually, I find this guy who seems perfect in every way - notably he's a perisex person who knew I was intersex but showed some unexpected understanding. Apparently he actively kept up with a lot of different intersex advocacy resources and this came up in a way that did not feel performative, more so "this is a thing I like to read/watch and I'm wondering if you've already seen it and like it too since I imagine it would be more relevant to you" and I mean... I didn't know about the things he kept up with so lol. Anyways very sweet very respectful did not ask about my genitals a single time.

And then I actually start meeting up with him in person and, eventually, he tells me like it's some funny story that when he first found me and found out I was intersex, he hit up his good friend who is actually a public figure so I can't say his actual username, but it had the words "F*taLover" and he was notorious for sexually harassing trans and intersex people publicly and shamelessly. And he talked to this person to speculate on my genitals, together ❤️ aw. He eventually started pressing me on what was actually going on, asking to see my business, and expressed his hopes over what it would look like because then it would be easier to convince me to have sex with him after I made it clear I had no intention of having sex with him ever.

I've had a lot of weird experiences related to dating and intersexuality prior but I've never had it progress to this point before so it was very shocking and has definitely established the lesson of "mmmaybe be a bit more cautious about trusting pericis people in dating contexts"

[chimera-summer]

HAPPY BUTCH APPRECIATION DAY

To the baby butches, transmasc butches, transfem butches, bi butches, butches in drag, fat butches, skinny butches, muscular butches, long-haired butches, therian butches, furry butches, nerdy butches, jock butches, hairy butches, tall butches, short butches, stone butches, disabled butches, NB butches, POC butches, FTM butches, butch boyfriends, elder butches, working class butches, this day is for ALL of us

I’m so fucking proud to call myself a transfem butch and be a part of this amazing community, filled with amazing people. Let’s treat ourselves today, okay?

And if you won’t treat yourself, I’m sure your femme or butch will.

[chimera-summer]

"Egg" jokes piss us off. They're deeply rooted in exorsexism, transinvestigation, intersexism, and outing.

You cannot tell the gender of someone from some behaviors they have. And why, why must they be a binary trans woman or binary trans man?

Why can't they be gender non-conforming and cisgender? Why are you automatically assuming that feminine presentation or God forbid "feminine hobbies" makes a person a woman? Or that masculine presentation or "masculine hobbies" makes a person a man?

Why can't they be non-binary? Why can't they be cis gender and transsex? Where is the room for people to discover they are androgynous, neutral, null, genderless, xenine, outherine, aporine, multigender, etc?

And don't get us started on the sheer amount of people insisting intersex people must be trans because of how their body develops (ie: cis women with hyperandrogenism who are fine with their androgenized traits being told they "must be trans man" because there can't POSSIBLY be a way that a WOMAN would like being androgenized. Or cis men with Klinefelter Syndrome who "must be trans women" because there's NO WAY a MAN can be fine with having BREASTS.)

Egg culture is just "progressive" transinvestigation. It's not cute. There's so many people who communicate how uncomfortable it makes them and how they get deeply pushed back into the closet, or forcefully assigned a gender they do not have.

If a person wants to make an egg joke about themself, that's one thing. But why the hell is it so normalized to tell people they don't truly know who they are and that they're in denial and need to be "cracked open"?

[chimera-summer]

HELLO just found out you allow yapping about intersex ocs. probably gonna send another oc ask after this but: My main persona-oc (mix of both I guess) is an intersex werewolfdog who just. kind of. does have the same traits in its wolfdog form despite the fact I don't think wolves actually can have them. also it has XX/XY chimerism (causing vitiligo in its human form & in it's wolfdog form kind of?) because I think I might have the same? It's also just a silly lil guy in general because it keeps its glasses on in wolfdog form. also its collar has a charm with the mercury symbol (or. i think it's the mercury symbol? the one that's like.. circle with half circle on top and the cross at the bottom?)

Indeed I do! And I'll link your next ask here when I post it. (link) Forgive me though if I don't always have something super constructive to say in regards to people's ramblings ^^; I WILL say I absolutely fuck with the charm on its collar. Yes that's the mercury symbol and is often associated with intersexuality, as well as the earth symbol (which looks like a circle with an intersecting cross) and OCCASIONALLY the combined venus+mars symbol, but that's moreso associated with bigender (and other genderqueer) folks.

[chimera-summer]

What could that intersexism look like for people who think they're perisex but feel alienated

Assuming this ask is meaning what intersexism directed towards people who think they're perisex but feel alienated could look like... get back to me if I'm wrong on that lol

Anyways, based on what I've observed, a lot of it comes down to perceived sexual nonconformity. For example, people with typical Müllerian duct development pathways can look all sorts of ways naturally, but only some of those differences are accepted, and a woman with a TMDP who doesn't look "womanly enough" through primary and secondary sex characteristics might be assumed to be intersex or transgender and may be subject to intersexism or transphobia, even if they are completely perisex and cis.

This overlaps a lot with people who are disabled, fat, nonwhite, or coming from a low income background. A fat man can develop pseudo-gynecomastia which can result in bullying for "having boobs," or a woman from a low income background might not have the resources to participate in intensive upkeep which causes issues with people who think all women are naturally hairless on their body. There's a lot of misdirected intersexism that can make perisex people feel alienated from other perisex people, who benefit from being exposed to intersex people who they may be able to better relate to.

[chimera-summer]

Does the fact that my growth plates were closed by the time i was 11 have anything to do with my sex? or that as soon as i hit puberty, quite a few people started questioning me about my gender or genitals? i still had long hair then etc but idk if what people picked up on was some gender nonconformity (i'm an enby) or actually my sex.

Your growth plates closing so soon definitely does sound odd but I'm not 100% on whether or not it's sex related, but I would recommend putting in research on that or perhaps speaking with a specialist on it since it's enough of a noteworthy feature to put more time into understanding.

The social aspect is harder to nail down, since that is absolutely just a vibes thing and since you were gender nonconforming to some extent, that could have been related or it could have been people deliberately being assholes because they wanted to put attention on your nonconformity. The two things combined, though, are worth looking into, and may not be a coincidence.

Wishing you luck on understanding yourself anon [:

[chimera-summer]

i'm intersex and i don't reclaim the h slur and it makes me deeply uncomfortable to see it anywhere but i know that for scientifically it's accurate for some animals, how do i get over the discomfort

Technically the scientific term much preferred by many with decency is I believe "cosexual" rather than the h slur (anyone who keeps up with this stuff correct me if I'm wrong) and I know status-quo-hater has talked about that a lot - so technically you do not need to be okay with people using that term. If you catch it in the wild you absolutely have the right to inform others of proper terminology instead of just accepting it.

As for getting over discomfort in scenarios where you can't control your exposure, if it's serious such as something triggering I recommend speaking to a psychologist or at least reading things written by them - unforch I am no expert when it comes to managing this sort of discomfort because I've always had very unconventional ways of going about managing my own.

It's completely fine to feel your feelings though, it's not your responsibility to make other people comfortable when they're using slurs.

[chimera-summer]

Shout out to trans guys who aren't on T but pass well enough anyway. Shout out to guys who are 'girls' who look like guys. Shout out to guys that are a medical mystery but it works in their favor. Shout out to guys who've never felt connected to either the trans nor cis label because neither one begins to truly connect with their experience

[chimera-summer]

Perisex person: "these stupid conservatives, all their arguments can be disproven with the existence of intersex people!"

Intersex person: "so we're welcome and you acknowledge we may not fit in conventional binaries depending on our circumstances. Cool. Anyways being intersex impacts how I view my identity and this is how I label it"

Perisex person: "who the fuck are you. You can't call yourself that. There's only X and Y. This is why conservatives hate us"

[chimera-summer]

it is... deeply upsetting being on this site and having people automatically assume someone who says theyre intersex was afab

[chimera-summer]

I’ve recently realized that I am intersex. It was a little bit disconcerting to realize that yet another thing is categorically Different about me, but after processing it for a couple days, it really feels like no big deal.

And honestly, I think that is largely because of intersex activists on tumblr (and other platforms, to a lesser extent). I’ve seen plenty of intersex awareness posts over the years. I’ve seen people advocating for intersex inclusion and acceptance. I’ve seen people speaking out against intersexism, medical discrimination, and the ways that the artificial sex binary harms people.

So when I discovered that I am actually intersex, it didn’t completely shatter my view of the world or myself. The biggest realization that I had was that my body is a bit different, and there is a word for those differences. I didn’t think that there was something wrong or broken about me or my body, or that I wasn’t a real woman/man, or that I need to reconsider my whole gender identity or sexuality… because thanks to intersex advocates, I had already done the work of realizing that intersex people are just people who don’t fit neatly into the sex binary. I’d already started to deconstruct the sex binary and work to unlearn intersexist ideas.

Overall the point of this post is to say that online activism and awareness does make a difference. And for what it’s worth, I think that disability activism and general queer activism have also contributed to this! A lot of the same ideas apply here too — you’re not broken, you’re not a failure, you’re just different, and being different is morally neutral.

[chimera-summer]

A semi-popular fandom related blog used the H slur to describe an alien character and is deleting any comments of people trying to educate them on not using the word saying "its not a slur in a scientific context". I reblogged the original post with a kind as possible explanation on how its still not ok to use 'in science' even if they acknowledge that its not to be used for intersex people, even providing multiple alternate terms to use and resources.

They responded with "argue with scientists about that, not some random person who knows when certain words are and aren't slurs".

I'm trying so hard not to cry because I know I should be the bigger person, but I can't help but feel like nowhere is safe for us anymore. Maybe it's just my autism talking but I don't understand why its that hard to not use a slur. Fandom spaces aren't safe anymore and it's not just the furry community.

This is intersexism.

I'm tired of this.

this is intersexism.

it is extremely frustrating when people refuse to listen and continue to use a slur despite all explanations. it's not just ignorance anymore, it's blatant disrespect. "random person who knows when certain words are and aren't slurs" my ass. the person targeted by the slur tells you why it's a slur and you shouldn't use it, and that's your response? sounds extremely bigoted. (about that person in fandom).

your frustration is fair. hearing slurs everywhere makes people feel unsafe. it's tiring and annoying and scary. you're not overreacting.

i'm supported by the thought that a lot of people are actually willing to listen and adjust their language/understanding of the world. that a lot of people are ready to be our allies and stand with us and fight for us. there are a lot of intersexist people, but there are also a lot of intersex allies, and with all education and activism, we're slowly getting more. it's a slow process, and there are some pushback and it's difficult, but the hope is here.

[chimera-summer]

the part of intersex experience that is rarely discussed is all the difficulties with urinating and sexual/related activities. some of which may be caused by variations themselves and some may be caused by igm.

anatomy and physiology of variations itself, nerve damage from igm, poor results of igm because doctors care more about creating typical look than about quality of life, ptsd and its psychosomatic effects, and more stuff.

also co-occuring conditions! because some intersex variations have increased rates of kidney & urinal tract anomalies.

but we can't talk about it because 1) the topics themselves are stigmatized; 2) intersex bodies are seen as gross and weird and "too much"; 3) every our word can be twisted in "that's why intersex variations are actually always medical problems and should be 'corrected'."

like for me these issues are the part of intersexness that is constantly on my nose but i can't even talk about it without extreme shame and fear. and i spend years thinking that it's all my fault.

[chimera-summer]

To any anyone without any medically confirmed intersex variations, or who are currently questioning if you are or are not intersex:

If you have traits that are considered undoubtedly intersex by the average intersex person or otherwise know you don't fit into the perisex sex binary, but don't have a diagnosis, who cares! You're fucking intersex, and you're still intersex outside of the medical system. Anyone who expects you to have a diagnosis is a loser and you shouldn't entertain them.

If you know you're intersex but don't know which variation for whatever reason, I hope you know that you don't have to know to be a part of the intersex community. I'm aware there are a lot of conversations around specific variations, and it can feel alienating to not sure where exactly you fit in certain discussions, but that doesn't make you any less intersex or your voice any less valuable. Whether you're looking to figure it out one day or don't care at all to know a specific variation, you're important to the intersex community.

If you aren't sure whether or not you're intersex but trying to identify as perisex has made you feel alienated and you have faced intersexism throughout your life, you can be a part of the intersex community. You can talk about your experiences not fitting in with the perisex sex binary too - you're not talking over anyone by doing so, because your experiences with intersexism and struggling to fit into the sex binary is still real, regardless of whether or not you know you apply to any specific label. If it makes you feel more comfortable with yourself or safer to be an active member of the intersex community, then please don't feel guilty.

And I know a lot of people will have doubts and feel faced with the worst case scenario: What if I become incredibly involved under the impression that I am intersex, but it is later confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would actually be considered perisex?

It will be okay, I promise. There is nothing morally wrong with trying to understand yourself and being wrong about something. It's difficult and shit will happen! Regardless, there's probably a reason why you started to feel like the intersex label fit you, or why you felt drawn to the intersex community. If you still feel like you're stuck in some weird situation when it comes to your place in the sex binary, you're still allowed to find comfort being around intersex people. You're still allowed to recognize anything positive you got out of the intersex community. You were not an imposter. You deserved and still deserve a space you can feel safe and seen in.

[chimera-summer]

Tme/tma defender voice hey sorry if people trying to guess if you're an oppressor or victim based on if your typing style says Penis or Vagina to them hurts your lib feelsies but if we dont do that all trans women will die. Did you even think about that.

[chimera-summer]

Imagine chastizing a trans woman for not liking PDB because he is "defending trans women" like.. okay should i be greatful? he is using our group as a sheild for his opinions & doesn't listen to any of us that don't pre-agree with him, & you're acting like I should be groveling at some cis man's feet..

like you're SO right I should be SO greatful at this cis man for speaking over us/for us so he can have justification for his shitty beliefs!! i love my identity being weaponized by people who aren't even part of this group to harm other trans people!! IM the evil person here for not agreeing with him /s

[chimera-summer]

i despise the whole "being intersex makes it easier to transition" not just because it ignores how being intersex varies from person to person and how the medical system treats us, it also just. makes it clear the person has no idea what it's like existing in the world while intersex?

i'm a trans man with hyperandrogenism. while my variation is a source of gender euphoria at times (specifically my facial hair) i got severely bullied for this in school. to the point where any sort of gender euphoria i do feel comes with this underlying feeling of disgust/guilt and feeling ugly. because of that bullying

it's affected how i see myself immensly and how i feel abut transitioning. i don't know if i really want to be on the more feminine side physically/appearance wise because it's genuinely what i want or because of that bullying. i'm scared of transitioning because what if i'm ugly? what if people don't like my anymore? it just kind of ruined shit

so even though i'm more likely to pass than my perisex trans male peers (except for my chest, that's the main reason i dont pass now. binders are also a health risk for me) im also! significantly more affected! and more likely to get coerced onto estrogen when i Do try and medically transition! so fuck you