chipper-crow

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One tried to holy water my dorm 🙃 though I think that was more over the witchcraft then me being bi

gay irl

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The future isn’t female - the future is beyond the binary

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O sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow

It has all the letters and is metal as fuck

Another option

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die

i’m teaching myself calligraphy, what should i write?

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I like leaving comments on comics and stories and art like I’m leaving love notes to its creators

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I’m flirting with memories more than possibilities and it’s hampering my growth

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My singular motivated brain cell: come on!! Let’s go!! To work! And. Get. PAID!!!!

The rest of my brain: *screeching and hissing like a demon from below, clawing it’s way back into bed without regard for dignity or physical safety* peeeeEEEOPLEEEE

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Tumbleweeds are the plant equivalent of seeing a skeleton doing flips down the street by wind power alone

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And in my foolishness, I had forgotten that straight boys can really be Like That

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I am coming to screech and you cannot stop me

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That’s because you are

Well if you tag my posts like this it then it makes me look like a fucking lunatic

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Thank you! I’ve had bad luck with them before but maybe I’ll try again 😊

Hi two things one you are GORGEOUS wow one young femme to another

Two where did you get the black set from your most recent picture post? It’s showstopping and I wanna find it 😊

Hi dear, thank you so much ����

Lately I’ve been buying the majority of my lingerie on Shein, since, you know, other shops are expensive af, so they’re special occasions only

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That’s what siblings are for (or cousins I guess). One of THEM can have the snot and poop monster I’ll have my 300 dogs thanks

Gay🩸irl

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Several times. Destroyed my sense of platonic worth and that people would actually like my company.

(Better now but it’s still there)

The friendzone gets talked about a lot but what hurts is finding out a dear friend was actually just pretending all along so he could fuck you

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I feel this except also. The majority of my girl crushes have been straight 😅

i have a crush but im too awkward when im around her, i wanna laugh and have deep convos and get to know her but when we're alone for those few seconds there's just silence.

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I see your “haircuts have no gender” and, respectfully my haircuts gender is aspiring lesbian fuck u

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I ADORE the idea of rolling a die each time someone asks your story and changing it every time. Amazing and I want to use this

Ranger regrets his decisions (i’m sure this is only the beginning)

Context- Our party of 4 (rogue, bard, ranger and me the barbarian Johnny) have all been joking saying that is we were to sacrifice anyone, it’d be Johnny since he’s a commoner. Everyone else are nobles/merchants. I kept telling them they’d regret their decision cause I will make an angry old wizard as my next character. 

Turns out I’d need him because our ranger last session cut a rope bridge, which killed Johnny AND the enemies. 

Last Session

DM: You find a old creepy looking cabin. As you open teh door you find the ugliest and rattiest man you’ve ever seen. 

Me: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID! *As I point to the ranger* 

DM: Roll intimidation.

Me: *Maniacal laughter* Oh shit I rolled an 18. Anyway my dude here begins to laugh like a maniac. 

DM: Ranger. You are intimidated. 

Ranger: I hate him. 

DM: I love him. I won’t let you kill him. 

Later

Bard: Soooooo what’s your name?

Me: Whose asking! Is it the guards! Can’t trust them. They’ll take your knees you see!

Bard: I slide him an ale. 

Me: I like you! Just call me Ole ‘Ermit. 

Bard: I figure it out! Just give Ermit booze!

Later

Bard: So What’s your story? 

Me: I pull out my dagger–

Bard: I shove an ale into his hands first!

Me: One second *Roll a die* I use to be an old sailor. Had the best life traveling by the sea. Until a horrible storm came and swept the boat and crew away. Now I drink my sorrows away. 

Bard: Oh my gosh he’s so sad!

Rogue: *beating my deception* I also hand him an ale and ask him his story. 

Me: *Rolls a die* I use to be a farmer. Lived in a quiet little village with my wife Gena and kids Tommy and Tabby. At least until the great fire. Took all my crops, my home, and my family. Now I drink my sorrows away. 

Ranger: GOD DAMN IT I HATE THIS GUY

Me: THEN SOMEBODY SHOULDN’T HAVE MURDERED JOHNNY! NOW YOU GET GRUMPYMC'OLD DUDE!

DM: I love this guy. I don’t usually see [my name] being the chaotic one and I love it. 

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It’s because you needed to dump his ass idiot

Why can I only be honest with my partner after midnight