compressed-and-depressed

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Kenma: *shivering under some blankets* What does a guy have to do to generate his own body around here.....

Kuroo: Maybe taking the iron supplements like the doctor told you 🤨

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Hinata: What do I get a girl for her sweet 16?

Sakusa: A blood ritual kit

Atsumu: A book on tax evasion

Hinata: I'M SERIOUS GUYS!!!! Natsu's birthday is next week.

Bokuto: Tax evasion is very serious.

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Akaashi: Bitches be like "I'm mentally stable" and then turn on 'Still With You by Jungkook w/ rain sounds one hour loop' to set the mood for their 5th omegaverse fic this week

Bokuto: Kaashi- 😟

Akaashi: It's me. I'm bitches

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Kuroo: How do I choose a minor?

Kenma: A minecraft youtuber discord server

Kuroo: I MEANT FOR COLLEGE?!?

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Oikawa: Aww that couple over there is so cute! Break up.

Iwaizumi: why must you suck the love out of everything

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Oikawa: I can’t work under such challenging conditions

Makki: And what conditions are you talking about exactly?

Oikawa: *watching Iwa practice* I’m gay

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

*nekoma playing Minecraft*

Lev: Ohhhh what’s this marshmallow thing over here?

Server: *Lev was slain by an Iron Golem*

Lev: I just wanted a hug :(

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Tanaka: *sees Kiyoko for the first time*

Tanaka: “jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, AWOOOOOGA AWOOOOOOGA sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, she looks very lovely”

Kageyama: ...but you don't have any hair.

Suga: That’s what you’re gonna focus on?

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Kuroo: MY HUSBAND WAS KIDNAPPED AND PRESUMED DEAD BC THE POLICE COULDN’T FIND HIM!

Kuroo: Jk I was bitten by a crocodile

Yaku: huh-

Kenma: I bet you’re playing BitLife again 

Kuroo: Shhhhh it was funnier without the context

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Iwa: Oikawa you’re just wrong

Oikawa: ARE AIR AND OXYGEN SYNONOMYS?!?

Makki: No, they’re pronouns

Matsun: I use Helium/Hydrogen pronouns

Everyone: ...

Matsun: Get it? Cuz helium is He 

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Aran: Black church music slaps harder than my mom’s belt after late service

Suna: I have no idea what that means but I fell like I should be concerned

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Makki: SHE WAS SEXY THATS IT

Matsun: SHE WAS A DRAGON WITH RED LIPSTICK

Iwa: ....what?

Kawa: They’re arguing over the dragon from Shrek -_- 

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Iwaizumi: Why would you kill that bug?!? What if it had a family to go back to

Oikawa: Well it shouldn’t have died so easily

Iwaizumi: What if someone killed you but you had to get back to me

Oikawa: I simply would fight god and get back here.

Iwaizumi: ... 

Oikawa: You can’t get rid of me

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Osamu: Do you just send memes as a way to cope with the fact that you actually feel really numb inside and maybe expressing your feelings in the form of humor will at least make those around you laugh enough that you can just feed off of their energy.

Suna: I’m going deaf so I can’t read this

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

Tsukki: With the way you’re scarfing down that burrito, if I didn’t know you any better I would think you were straight.

Yachi: With the way you’re watching Yams do the same, I know you’re not

[compressed-and-depressed]

Haikyuu!! Characters as Conversations I’ve had with my Friends

*In the Seijoh GC at some point*

Mattsun: Happy Skeleton Day! Time to hand over your bones.

Makki: No, calcium man already has my bones soul

Mattsun: Valid

Iwaizumi has left the group chat

[compressed-and-depressed]

when oikawa is famous dyou think they would make a buildabear modeled after him bc i think they would and i think oikawa would buy one with the little voice box in the hand and hed send it to iwaizumi and iwa opens up the package and he stares down at the tooru bear and hes like wtf and he presses the hand and the recorded sound that comes out is oikawa saying ‘i love you iwachan’ or smth and its very cheesy and iwa smiles bc aw <3 and its so iwa will always have oikawa by his side even when theyre separated by an ocean n such