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hey um. so sorry to tell you this, but op of that post plays toys kinda weird. yeah you should just block them, that's not how normal people play with toys

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- Lemony Snicket, probably

it's a great day for sobbing about the baudelaires again

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if steven universe made even one little boy feel good about wearing pink it's done a good service to the world

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I was teaching kids today and they got fixated on the usual ‘are they dead now?’ question when I was talking about historical figures. So I was just like ‘Yes, they’re dead now, everyone who was alive in the 1800s is dead now.’ and then one kid was like ‘Except for you’.

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I think I may never be sad ever again. There is a statue entitled "Farewell to Orpheus" on my college campus. It's been there since 1968, created by a Prof. Frederic Littman that use to work at the university. It sits in the middle of a fountain, and the fountain is often full of litter. I have taken it upon myself to clean the litter out when I see it (the skimmers only come by once a week at max). But because of my style of dress, this means that bystanders see a twenty-something on their hands and knees at the edge of the fountain, sleeves rolled up, trying not to splash dirty water on their slacks while their briefcase and suit coat sit nearby. This is fine, usually. But today was Saturday Market, which means the twenty or so people in the area suddenly became hundreds. So, obviously, somebody stopped to ask what I was doing. "This," I gestured at the statue, "is Eurydice. She was the wife of Orpheus, the greatest storyteller in Greece. And this litter is disrespectful." Then, on a whim, I squinted up at them. "Do you know the story of Orpheus and Eurydice?" "No," they replied, shifting slightly to sit.

"Would you like to?"

"Sure!"

So I told them. I told them the story as I know it- and I've had a bit of practice. Orpheus, child of a wishing star, favorite of the messenger god, who had a hard-working, wonderful wife, Eurydice; his harp that could lull beasts to passivity, coax song from nymphs, and move mountains before him; and the men who, while he dreamed and composed, came to steal Eurydice away. I told of how she ran, and the water splashed up on my clothes. But I didn't care. I told of how the adder in the field bit her heel, and she died. I told of the Underworld- how Orpheus charmed the riverman, pacified Cerberus with a lullaby, and melted the hearts of the wise judges. I laughed as I remarked how lucky he was that it was winter- for Persephone was moved by his song where Hades was not. She convinced Hades to let Orpheus prove he was worthy of taking Eurydice. I tugged my coat back on, and said how Orpheus had to play and sing all the way out of the Underworld, without ever looking back to see if his beloved wife followed. And I told how, when he stopped for breath, he thought he heard her stumble and fall, and turned to help her up- but it was too late. I told the story four times after that, to four different groups, each larger than the last. And I must have cast a glance at the statue, something that said "I'm sorry, I miss you--" because when I finished my second to last retelling, a young boy piped up, perhaps seven or eight, and asked me a question that has made my day, and potentially my life: "Are you Orpheus?" I told the tale of the grieving bard so well, so convincingly, that in the eyes of a child I was telling not a story, but a memory. And while I laughed in the moment, with everyone else, I wept with gratitude and joy when I came home. This is more than I deserve, and I think I may never be sad again.

Here is the aforementioned statue, by the way.

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fuck yeah !!!!!!!!!

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Steven Universe - Art Nouveau Series by Alexa Rockman

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Daniel Handler (better known as Lemony Snicket) really wrote the most autistic children to ever exist.

“One really likes putting things together and her trademark is tying up her hair so she doesn’t get distracted by it. Another just fuckin loves reading dude, he’ll research anything with joy. The littlest one loves biting so so much and she’s so good at it, at least until she grows old enough to develop a special interest in cooking. All three are very matter-of-fact and direct, and have a knack for seeing through the bullshit all the normies just go along with it. Also their parents were a part of a secret organization where everyone is either like this or evil.”

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ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

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So I had to return a book to the library today and I came straight from the horse farm. I went to the front desk because it was an item on loan from another library and I wasn’t sure if it had to be checked in differently. The librarian said no, it could get returned in the normal slot but she could take it and check it in right away.

It was only when I got back to the car that I realized I had walked into the library covered in dirt from head to toe and handed back a book about grave robbing.

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She's lowkey always been my fav design of the whole show (despite not knowing how to draw her for years) and SHE'S FINALLY COMING BACK TO MEEEEE

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I must say, Steven Universe is a lot more enjoyable when you don't need to read through a heaping helping of Tumblr discourse about who's secretly abusing whom this week.

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Little Shop of Horrors is so much funnier when you know that Alan Menken came from a family of dentists.

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I'm choosing to believe this is real because it's funny and hurts no one

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I love how everybody thinks im js lazy and not applying myself like erm actually ☝️🤓 this is called a ✨️multitude of undiagnosed conditions✨️

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‘a series of unfortunate events’ isn’t even remotely unrealistic because adults really are Like That

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