crying-person

[crying-person]

Im so tired i don't know what to do.

Like im the kind of tired that makes you're bone feel like lead and your fresh like concrete.

Im at a point of tiredness or even depression were I can't really feel joy anymore, and I feel bad for not being abel to feel it becaus it makes me think im dragging my family and friends down.

I feel like im so rude and I probably am becaus im constantly just in a bad mood.

I feel this ugly kinda twist in my stomach when something happens when I don't want it to happen, or when something good happens too my friends or family.

Im so jealous of them they seem to have there live figured out while I am stuck here like this slowly being left behind.

I cant even be mad at leaving me behind, I want them too, I so desperately want to be left behind so I can finally have a reason drown in my own disparity.

Im not a good person, I am not smart, I am not pretty and I cant Handel confrontation or accept criticism, I want to be the victim so badly, I am not kind.

I feel like the world should hurt me for the way I am yet I'm almost completely healthy with only a few problems.

Its like the world is making fun of me by refusing to run me over with a bus.

Why dose the poor mother or child who has somone they love who has a place in this world planed out die early while I'm here just hating being alive.

Its not like I don't have pepole that love me it's just I feel completely neutral towards them in a way that makes me feel like I am not abel to love.

On the point of love how come evryone I know has it so easy getting one partner after another while I am looking at another person and feel nothing.

I had a girlfriend once and I felt like not even slimmer of love for some reason(I had a crush on her but there was definitelyno love) not even my first kiss could make me feel anything (we broke up pretty early becaus she keept on ghosting me when I tried to take her on dates becaus we couldn't hang at her place cause her parents didn't know yet she was dating a girl and I refused to smoke weed with her)

Like I know I'm not aroromantic or acesexuall, I want a long loving relationship so badly but evrytime somomne says something wrong or even makes fun of me the slightest I loose all my feelings I could have had.

Maybe I am this way because I got groomed on the internet

Maybe I am this way becaus my parents keep refusing to take me to therapy cuz there is nothing wrong with me

Or maybe I am this way becaus I was born like this

Ill never now

And all this thinking is making me just more tired and giving me a headache

[crying-person]

Mdni 18+throughts

ignore spelling mistakes I have dyslexia and am too lazy too fix them atm

Holy fuck am I down bad for Miles Quaritch like both forms are just so damm hot.

Padrora my english (pun intended) but I need that man to hunt me through the forest, catch me and drag me somewehre secluded while im trying to take his face of with my nails.

Like he would soooo be down for a figth about dominace it be so fun to just bite that man and to try to get away befor getting fuked silly by him.

Like he would be such an asshole too you and so manipualitive but only he is allowed to do that shit to you because you belong to him

and dont get me started on her

I need her to be absolutly insane

I want to be pinned between her and Quaritch ToT

I´m so gay for her shes making me quietsion if I am even Bi

I can just tell that she would be a totall sadist i need her to be so hotheaded that quaritch looks tame, like she probs would mark you up so fine she would want evryone around her too know you belong to her.

Like full on covered in bitemarks and bruises and making you scream so loud that some of the others get concerned for your well being. ( I think she would totally get a coloar or something simalar to it aswell for you)

Just imagening having those two as a partner and being a total brat sounds sooo fun.

I just can imagen quartich teaching her human traking methods (or the other way around) and your being used as prey to practice.

And like omg the way I think both of them would prais you when you are getting better at hiding or escaping them when they hunt you ughhhhh =3= i can´t.

I think it would be so cute if you like make littel pieces of jewlery for them and they first wont wear it because they dont match theire tough guy persona but they will start to wear them when they are realaxing or having down time (tots will take them of bevor fighting so they dont get damaged)

I need her to be lowkey so bashit crazy that quaritch switches to the good guys lmao

[crying-person]

childhood dog

Sometimes I cry so much that my face burns

But I can't seem to bring myself to wipe away the tears

The burn reminds me of the burn I felt after my childhood dog gave me kisses

She never was one too enjoy cuddels

Or let herself be touched or loved alot

But in her final days she came to me to get hugs to get kisses to get loved

As if she was saying I'm going soon don't be sad and to behave

But i couldn't help it to be sad

She made me feel safe and protected

She made me brave

She used to watch I've me as a child making sure I wouldn't fall or do something stupid

Even tho i know she be annoyed at my tears I cant stop them from falling.

I miss you

I dear childhood dog

[crying-person]

Me being lowkey really depressed at the moment

My brain: hyenas

Me: What?

Literally becomes hyperfixated on hyenas, still depressed tho but now I know a shit tone of things about hyenas.

[crying-person]

I feel

I feel bad

I feel useless

I feel dead

my hearth aches and cries

But you don´t notice

Why ?

[crying-person]

[crying-person]

The poet she had called him her Butterfly in poems to his friend the ghost of the great artist Vincent Van Gogh, somewhere quiet in rural Northumberland ...

To us

the soul

will always be

of beauty

because of its

understanding

with the heart

then there

is more understanding

of the soul

my Vincent

[crying-person]

Why is that so accurate for them

Alucard: So you love me for my personality?

Anderson, sipping coffee: Believe me, I was surprised too

[crying-person]

Rain lover

a poem of a sad person

i love the rain

it lets me breathe and feel alive.

Every time it rains

My tears wont have to hide

I can finally come outside

[crying-person]

Sleeples night

a poem of a sad person

Dear mind

why must you keep me up at night?

while my tears dry, on the inside i still die.

I toss and turn to find some rest,

but the beating burning heart in my chest,

just wont let me rest.

Even if i close my eyes my body wont sleep tonight.

So Dear body and mind of mine why must you keep me up at night?

Hope you have been sleeping better then me

Goodnight and sweet dreams

-L