definitelynotamuggle

[definitelynotamuggle]

Harry: I read a book.

Ginny: YOU READ A BOOK?! OMG IT'S A MIRACLE

Harry: YEAH!! you know what it is about? It's about a red haired girl... She has a huge crush on one of her brother's best friend. He even saved her life once. She is crazy over him. She thinks that he doesn't like her back but I'm pretty sure he does.

Ginny: wow this seems interesting! What is the book's name?

Harry: It's called "Ginny's Diary"

[definitelynotamuggle]

Ginny: Why is Ron crying in the corner??

Harry: He did a compatibility test with Hermione and got 2%...

[definitelynotamuggle]

Fred: Hermione, we saw you write "I love Weasley" on your parchment yesterday...

George: It's not Ginny cause you're not into girls

Fred: Not Percy cause he's a prat

George: Not Charlie cause you've hardly met him

Fred: not Bill cause he's married

George: and not Ron cause you have standards...

Both: So which one of us is it??

Hermione:

[definitelynotamuggle]

Genie: Alright so you have 17 wishes.

Harry: 17?

Harry: Isn't it usually 3?

Genie: Yeah but judging on what I'm seeing you're gonna need a lot more than just 3

[definitelynotamuggle]

Professor McGonagall: I hope you two have an explanation for this.

Fred: Actually, we have three

George: Pick your favourite :)

[definitelynotamuggle]

Harry, getting ready for a date: Hermione, I need help, tell me some tips to make someone laugh...

Hermione: Don't worry, you've got that down. Just be yourself!

Harry: Wait- did you just compliment my humour?

Hermione: nope. I complimented the fact that you're a joke.

[definitelynotamuggle]

*Houses watching a Horror Movie*

Ravenclaw: DUDE! WRONG TURN! HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID! NO NO NO DON'T WALK TO THAT DOOR!

Slytherin: Yes... Yes... YES! SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF 'EM!

Gryffindor:**jumps behind the couch and jump scares** WOAH HAHAHAHA

Hufflepuff: **clutching onto a blanket** I won't get nightmares. I can do this. I'm brave. Deep breathes.

[definitelynotamuggle]

Someone: I love you

Fred and George: I love you too :)

Hermione: I love myself too :))

Ginny: who doesn't?

Harry: thanks?

Ron: Lmfao.

Draco: Nice...nice choice.

[definitelynotamuggle]

Luna: *thinking*: She's practical... And a perfectionist... And gets irritated by the smallest things...mhmm...

Luna: Hermione, are you a virg-

Hermione: No, I already had my first time :)

Luna:

Hermione:

Luna:

Hermione: what?

Luna: I- I was asking if you are a v- virgo?

Hermione: Oh! y-yeah I am... :) I don't really believe in those things tho....yeah...hehe...

[definitelynotamuggle]

*drinking butter beer*

Ron: *spills it all over himself for the 621918632762 time* Ugh, I spilled it all over myself again, I think I'm an idiot

Harry: It's fine, I do that all the time!

Hermione: Spill drinks over yourself?

Harry: No, think that Ron's an idiot

[definitelynotamuggle]

*20 years later*

My daughter: Mum, I found some of your old books... Can I read them?

Me: Sure! What do they say?

Daughter: "Harry Potter"

Me:

Daughter:

Me:

Daughter:

Me: Hermione, go bring your siblings Harry and Luna, there is something I need to tell you.

[definitelynotamuggle]

Harry: SIBLING ANTHEM CHECK!

Bill: Hi I am the oldest, I'm the leader of the pack. And all my other siblings just be ridin' on my back.

Charlie: I'm basically the parent, I keep everyone in line.

Percy: I've never had a hand-me-down, my shoes they always shine.

Fred and George: Hi we are the middles, and we're always overlooked, rules were made for us to break which leaves our siblings shook :)

Ron: Hand-me-downs are all we know, nothing's ever new. You hate us 'cause you ain't us, but trust us that's the truth.

Ginny: Hi! I am the youngest, I'm my family's pride and joy. My siblings were irrelevant the day that I was born. I walk into the room, all the attention goes to me. I get anything I want with just a "Mommy, Daddy, please"

Harry: wait wait wait!!! Stop right there! What are you talking about, Ginny? I am the favourite child, not you!!

[definitelynotamuggle]

Ron: My mind is like an internet browser

Ron: I have 15 tabs open

Ron: 3 of them are frozen

Ron: and I don't know where the music is coming from...

[definitelynotamuggle]

Ginny: I found the perfect match for you!

Hermione: Go on, tell me about him.

Ginny: He's brave

Hermione:Mhmm

Ginny: He will defend you in even the smallest situations

Hermione: keep going...

Ginny: He's extremely loyal...

Hermione: I'm interested.

Ginny: ...but he's not Ron

Hermione: nevermind...

[definitelynotamuggle]

McGonagall: Ginny is late, again.

Harry: how did this happen? I called her at 8 o' clock this morning pretending it was 11 !

Hermione: I printed a fake schedule saying we were starting at 9 instead of noon like we usually do...

Ron: I set her alarm clock to say PM when it was really AM...

McGonagall: oh dear, that must have overdone it.

Ginny: *bursts through the door* WHAT THE HELL IS THE FREAKING TIME

[definitelynotamuggle]

Ron: *screams*

Hermione: *screams loader to establish dominance*

Harry: Should we stop them?

Ginny: nah, I wanna see who wins.

[definitelynotamuggle]

Ginny: Hey, you wanna hear something dirty? ;)

Harry: *turns red*

Ginny: Mhmm?

Harry: Yes.

Ginny: The kitchen.

Harry: what?

Ginny: Go and clean the kitchen.