definitlynotaplant

[definitlynotaplant]

Alien Reaction to Gay Pride (edited)

ok. So I went to a Pride festival today and collect buttons, so I got a shit ton of buttons. (Maybe I’ll write abt buttons future on, but…) I got this one and it reminded me of aliens and then I wondered how aliens would react to gay pride. Like, what if it was so normalized to them that they didn’t even think about it, and are horrified about transphobia and homophobia. Anyways…. There’s that

*Also- slight addition*

A: *lands on earth* "take me to your leader"

H: "trust me. You don't want that"

A: "why?"

H: "he's a homophobic. Narcissistic, transphobic dick head among other things"

A: "what?"

H: (several long minutes of conversation later)

A: "so... you guys make a big deal about gay here?"

H: (more explanation)

A: "TAKE ME TO YOUR MOTHERFUCKING LEADER”

[definitlynotaplant]

Humans Are Weird: Beaches

Ok… so I know this will probably sound like a stretch, but I'm just thinking about it and what if aliens didn't understand why beaches are so important to us. Like if they didn't have giant bodies of saltwater that they travel hours to go sea (Get it? Haha. I'm sorry. I��m dead inside). Or if it just wasn’t a part of their culture to begin with. Anyways, like imagine the literal translation of that.

“God, I miss going to the beach,” Human Tanya sighed to Human Tod. 

“Yeah! I almost forgot about those!” Replies Human Tod “I remember going every year! We had a huge roadtrip and everything! We’d drive almost 7 hours each way and it was some of the best times of our lives!”

“I’m sorry,” Interjects the alien with the robotic translator. “But what I’ve heard of your human beaches, and why did you say you traveled there all the time? Wouldn't that be a little violent for children?”

“What the hell do you mean?!” both of the humans questioned at once

“Well…” the alien hesitated at their incredulity “I just mean… the beaches are violent, are they nit? I know humans are cautious about what they show to their children so I was wondering about why they would expose their children to that.” After a few more minutes, the reason for the aliens' confusion came to light. “Beaches are violent! There's water slamming itself into rocks, if it gets into a human’s eye, it could be incredibly painful, let alone anything IN the water itself like those fabled “Shark attacks” that everyone's heard of! Dont forget about the dead crabs and broken shells that wash up! And what about sharp rocks and glass?!” The aliens tirade came to an end and Human Tod looked at Human Tanya.

“Do you want to tell him about surfing, or should I?”

Grinning, Human Tanya replied “You tell him about surfing. I’ll tell him about swimming with sharks.”

[definitlynotaplant]

The Coldplay Kiss Cam Incident

Ok… so imagine trying to explain the CEO cheating at a Coldplay concert to an alien, and then having to explain how it turned into an entire country's inside joke. 

     “Oooooh. Janet and Tom are kisssssssiiiiinnnggggg” mocks a small earthling child laughing and pointing at a now embarrassed Human Janet and Human Tom. Janet and Tom hide behind their hands and laugh. And Human Tom makes a joke about how at least they’re not on a kiss cam at a Coldplay concert. 

     “Shut up Tom.” Laughes Human Janet. “We're not having an affair either, you dumbass.”

     “Human Tom. What are you talking about?” Asks a wide eyed and innocent alien who heard them as they were passing by.

     “Well buddy….” As Human Tom keeps talking and explaining, the alien's many eyes widen and his mouth opens in shock. More and more aliens gather around to hear the story and once Human Tom was done, everyone just sat in silence, watching as Human Janet tried to suppress her laughter. 

     “So, to summarize,” starts the alien known as Heish. “An entire country that was known for violence and stupidity started a sort of ‘inside joke’ that just about everyone found funny, revolving around a man ruining his life, his wife’s life, and who knows how many else’s on a ‘kiss cam’ in front of thousands of people at a ‘concert’?” 

     Yeah. That sounds about right. 

[definitlynotaplant]

Pack-Bonding with Plants

So, we all know that humans pack-bond to the weirdest things imaginable like Roombas or stuffed animals, or god knows what else. But what if aliens didn't know that yet? Or what if they knew about it but didn't know that it could apply to quite literally Anything. Like plants for example. 

“No! Clark! What are you doing!” Screams Human Charlie in pure horror as the alien known by the humans as “Clark” (Because humans physically can’t pronounce his real name) stands over a trashcan with an upside down flower pot in his hands. 

“What do you mean?” Clark’s transmitter struggles to convey through the confusion. “I”m getting rid of a hazard and a waste of space. I found a biological threat with spines and a brightly colored “Flower” on top that could very well be poisonous!”

“Noooooooo Frank!! Screams the human, running to the trash can and staring down at his fallen brother. “Guys! Frank! He’s… he’s… he’s dead!” sobs Human Charlie as the other humans come sprinting out of god knows where with their faces visibly falling as they took in the scene. Some cried. Others sank to their knees in grief. Yet another just turned around and walked away to his cabin, disappearing for at least an hour, 

In the following days, a funeral is conducted for the cactus known as “Frank” (Much to the bemusement of the rest of the creatures aboard the ship). The deck falls quiet. Grief seeps into the floorboards of the cabin for their fallen brethren. And a new protocol was put into place.

“If plants are aboard ship, do not exterminate them without first asking a human about any cultural significance, no matter how dangerous or trivial the biological specimen may appear.” The aliens have earned. They have helped to prevent the re-appearance of the loss felt that day. But it’s still there. The grief will never be gone. Only scarred over. They will never forget Frank. 

[definitlynotaplant]

Music Recs?

I know most likely no one’s gonna reply, but I figured I would put this out anyways in a sleep deprived and bored post at 3 AM. Anyways, I wanna find a new band or artist to fall in love with. I love a huge variety of creators, but have recently loved Bbno$, Sophia Isella and have had Eminem stuck in my head recently (weird ass combo. I know) I want to try to find another artist that I love as much as them in an alt/ rap/ I don’t even know what. I like weird music and am open to anything that’s not country. Lmk if u have any suggestions :)

[definitlynotaplant]

Hubert had it coming

Hubert is a name that let's be honest- doesn't exactly have the best reputation (Yeah yeah. sorry Hubert's of the universe). I wrote this while on 3 hours of sleep at 4 AM wired on pure adrenaline. Sorry in advance Hubert's.

Hubert smells like onions and regret

Hubert looks like a sewer rat crawled out of the sewers and threw up (He’s the puke)

Hubert sits in the cubicle next to me and crunches chips so loudly by my ear that I strangle him

Hubert is dead

Hubert walks down the sidewalk

Hubert’s phone is glued to his hands like a fly stuck to fly paper

Hubert fell down the open manhole cover and no one even bothered to pull him back out

Hubert is dead

Hubert walked into his house to see his wife in bed with her ex

Hubert yelled and closed the door before getting into his car and driving away

Huberts wife followed him and ran his car off the road before stabbing him to death

Hubert is dead

Hubert now works at the nuclear power plant

Hubert's job is to move the uranium from one cell to the next

Hubert dropped the Uranium

Hubert (And everyone else within a 50 mile radius) is dead

Hubert decided to go turkey hunting

Hubert left his gun in the truck

Hubert angered the turkeys so much that they got his gun and shot him

Hubert is once again dead

Hubert was walking down a dark street one night 

Hubert came across a serial killer

The serial killer took one whiff of Hubert and threw up

Hubert is unfortunately not dead

Hubert was stupid enough to continue his walk down the alleyway

Hubert was grabbed from behind and had a bomb strapped to his chest

Hubert was then shoved into the bank

Hubert was shot on sight and is dead

Of course, none of this would’ve have happened if his name wasn’t hubert

His parents had it out for him the minute he was born

Hubert had it coming

Here are the chronicles of Hubert

Hubert Jumped out a plane without a parachute (He thought it was a simulator)

Hubert thought that he could stick his hand into the vending machine and get out food. His hand got stuck and no one came to save him. He died of starvation

Hubert decided to go camping one day and found a nice place to set up his tent. It was on train tracks

Hubert decided to take a walk in the woods and had his eyes pecked out by birds. He ran running and screaming until he died of dehydration. There was a stream right next to him.

Hubert thought he could beat the world record jumping distance and decided to motivate himself by doing it between skyscrapers. He did not succeed. 

As you can tell, Hubert is a stupid individual. 

This is the fault of his family for naming their child hubert

Do not name your child Hubert

[definitlynotaplant]

They Gave Me Their Fire

Hi! So I just wrote this and am actually kinda proud of it lol. In my writing class, the prompt was "Historical Horror". I've NEVER written anything set in the past ever, but the more I wrote, the more the words seemed to flow. I'm posting this with minimal edits in hopes that writers can give me some feedback and criticism to help me fix it. The harsher the better lol.

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They Gave Me Their Fire

I remember the flashes of green and brown. I remember his hair glistening in the sunlight. Walnut streaked with gold. The horses' halters with shining silver bells were jingling. The carriage's sleek black paint shone in a way that was almost evangelical. Michel. My Michel was taking me to a cabin in the woods. The carriage would drop us off and we would be alone. The gas lamps would shimmer like magic beneath the stars and we would see bats darting and dancing above us and bullfrogs singing in the night with fireflies rejoicing in the warm, perfect summer air that enveloped us. Except, when I opened my eyes, that’s not what was happening. Michel wasn’t waking me up to get out of the carriage or to look at a deer in the road. Instead, I was being dragged from the carriage. Rough hands were grabbing at my hair and arms as they tugged me free even as I was clawing to stay inside. I tried to scream for Michel, but he was already there. Staring down at me with undisguised hatred. 

“Burn the witch!” screamed the man with hair as dark as pitch who was dragging me from the carriage. 

“Spill her blood!” yelled another. This one was short with dirty blond hair.

Pain spread along my side as Michel kicked me with the steel toed boots that I worked double hours at the factory to afford. Tears welled in my eyes as I screamed. I saw birds rise from the trees and fly away. The same birds that were supposed to be singing for me and Michel as we danced beneath a perfect rose sunset with clouds of cotton candy. The men laughed and cut me loose

“Run,” laughed yet another man with rough hands and hatred burning in his eyes. “Run away, dirty little witch. You have 5 minutes and then the hunt is on.”

I sat there. Trying to reconcile the man I loved with the monster I saw before me. He kicked me again before  I stumbled to my feet and ran. 

The sun was setting but I couldn't appreciate it because of the tears burning in my eyes. I couldnt appreciate the perfect rose sunset with the clouds of cotten candy that I had dreamed of so fervently ever since learning about the trip. I couldn’t see the branches whipping across my face, but I could feel them like hot daggers. I felt the blood wet and hot pouring from my face and collecting on my shirt. I felt the grass and leaves and roots and dirt beneath my thin soled shoes and heard the slowly fading sounds of howling laughter from behind me. 

I needed to run. I needed to escape. I needed to leave this place behind and shut it all out. I needed to fly. To swim. To run and to glide. 

Just as I thought I could breathe, I saw firelight glittering among the trees. Not controlled in torches, but wild and free. They set the forest on fire. 

And so I ran and I ran and I ran some more until I ran into a road and the mob of people waiting for me. They grabbed my hair so hard I felt it part ways from my scalp. They handed me to Michel. I knew it was him because of the laughter ripping through my eardrums. It was his laugh. His chant rising above the rest. His voice was his, but wrong. It was steel. It was fire. It was molten hatred mixed with a fiery fury unrivaled by that of God itself. 

He grabbed my wrists. Tied and bound them with rope as thick as my arm. Then, he tied my ankles. I remember packing that rope myself. Michel insisted that I put it in his bag and so I packed it without question. I closed my eyes and prayed to wake up. Prayed so desperately and fervently to a God that has long since forsaken me. 

More hands grabbed me. Rough and dirty. I was hoisted up and that was then I saw the cross. A giant monstrosity with kindling underneath and a place that was very obviously meant for my hands. I closed my eyes. Heald my breath. 

I was on the cross. Fire licked my ankles. Laughter and joy radiated from the group headed by Michel. My Michel. 

And now I’m here. Now I am the fire and the fire is me. Now I  lunge at the group. Screaming and shrieking like a banshee unleashed upon hell itself. Screams and cries and pleading arises from the group before it falls silent. They had their chance. They had their mercy. But they set the forest alight. They gave me their fire. Gave me their anger. Gave me their hatred and their loathing. I guess I’m the monster now.

[definitlynotaplant]

Humans are Weird: Driving

Ok. So I’m not gonna bother with my usual spiel lol. Just know that I’m really inexperienced with writing this genera, suck at dialogue, and any criticism and/ or feedback would be GREATLY appreciated

     “Ok ok. So let me get this straight” interrupts Glaict for the third time while attempting to watch a movie with Human Jeremy. “So back on earth, humans used moving tin cans that could range in price from something relatively affordable, to the cost of most people’s homes?!?!” 

     “Yep. We’ve been through this before, big guy,” replies human Jeremy who is slightly annoyed, yet also entertained by the aliens' cluelessness and oblivion. 

     “Ok. I remember that Human Jeremy. But what concerns me more is humans “driving” these tin cans. They could allegedly reach up to speeds that physically pushed you against your seats from inertia. They could overheat and possibly even explode, you had only 3 ways of controlling its movement, AND they were some of the most common and necessary things in a lot of human’s lives?!?! You're telling me that you all just trusted each other enough to reach speeds upwards of 80 MPH with nothing but some paint to keep you safe?! And what the FUCK is the deal with roadsignes?! You're telling me that humans saw flimsy pieces of metal and just… read them, obey them, and understand them all while having to watch moving vehicles rushing around you, interpreting the lines on the road, reading your navigation tools, maintaining speed, and making sure you don’t die???!!!!!” 

     “Ok ok. Calm down dude” Human Jeremy half laughs and half sighs. “Yeah. That’s about right. But remember what that whole meeting last week was about? Humans can multitask. In fact, it’s better if we multitask because if we don’t , our brains wander and make us do stupid things.”

     “But… but you creatures start doing this as young as 15!!! No child should have to do something that stressful!” Exclaims the alien, clearly distressed now. 

     “Yeah. I guess it is pretty wild when you say it like that” says Human Jeremy “but don’t worry. Humans got in crashes all the time! They could be deadly, or just damage their car a little bit! Just because we could drive, doesn’t mean we could all do it well. But either way, people drove as fast as possible for fun too! They reached upwards of 190 mph and had fun! Sure, some of them would die… but you know. They loved it!”

     “Well… fuck,” Says the alien, now somehow even more green than it’s natural hue. “I’m just going to go finish cleaning up back here. You go ahead and finish the rest of the movie!” It shouts before backing up and running away. 

     “Huh” Muses Human Jeremy to himself. “Maybe I can make a car out of scrap metal! I saw some other videos of people doing it online. That’ll really scare the shit out of him! Good thing I didn’t tell him about bumper cars though.”

[definitlynotaplant]

Humans are Weird: Skydiving

Ok… I just want to preface this by saying that this is not my best work in the slightest. I was rushed and sleep deprived, so don’t blame me lol. As usual, any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

     “Human Tom,” the alien started, already fearing the answer to the question it was about to ask. “I’m watching the thing that you Humans call ‘television’ and one of the characters said that they went skydiving and watched one of their friends' parachutes fail, and the human went ‘splat’ What does that mean?!”

     Human Tom spit out the water he was drinking, covering his mouth to presumably muffle the bit of shocked laughter that was sure to emerge if he dared to lift his hand “Oh buddy,” Human Tom managed in a moment of pity and slight elation that he would be the one to explain it to such a innocent creature “Oh buddy.  Have you ever heard of something called adrenaline?”

     At that, the aliens' many eyes widened. “You mean… you mean the stuff of myths and horror stories that allows humans to do insane things? Like lifting whole engines or managing to fall 50 feet without a scratch?! The stuff that is produced in the human brain in moments of pure and utter horror and fear?! The brain's last chemical hope of survival?” 

    “Uh. Yeah. That. Well… listen to this”. After a painstaking conversation that ended with “…and sometimes, the parachute fails and humans hit the ground at 120 miles per hour… and they kinda go ‘splat’. But humans still loved it!! Sure there’s a slight risk of death… but eh! It got us out of the house!” The creature backed away from the human. No longer interested in human media. 

      “Ok then Human Tom,” the creature mumbled. Backing away tentacle by tentacle until it was a good 10 feet away from the human before turning and fleeing, determined to find the commander to tell them about this freak of nature that called itself “The Human Species”.

[definitlynotaplant]

The Music Box

Ok... So I write a lot of horror and I think this might be the first true horror thing that I post. This is completely raw, unedited, and only written in 15 minutes. I just forced myself to get words on a page lol. I am absolutely begging for any criticism and feedback that you might have, or if you want a pt. 2.

I hear that music the moment the lid opens. The music. Her music. The music of pain and sorrow and agony that I inflicted upon her until blood splattered out of her and onto me. A fine coating of little droplets of something only a little thicker than water coats my cheeks, my eyelids, my forehead and collates at the bottom of my shoes as I stand up and walk away. Relishing the smell of copper on my skin and the sound of her screams on the wind. The music is still playing in the background. The lid is swung open and a little figurine of a dancer spins around and around and around. The music dies, and with it, the bloodlust. The excitement from the kill. The mix of adrenaline and pure pleasure coursing through my veins. They all screech to a halt. The horror of what I’ve done was washing against me like a tidal wave, pulling me under like a rip current. Stealing my breath. My soul. The very bones of my body. But that tinklining song was still in the underlying part of my brain. Singing that it would be alright. Singing that it would end as soon as I kill another. Singing that its dancer would dance once again to the tune, if only I prepared the body. If only I got another pair of eyes. A separate skull, another heart, and a fresh liver. I take the eyes. Her eyes. The eyes of a woman I once called mine. She is the music boxes now. 

I followed another one home. This one is another woman. Maybe 5’6 with straight brown hair cut into a bob. None of that will matter in a minute. I’m in her house now. She left her scarf on the hook, her boots at the door. Her kitchen knives on the table. As her scream resonates and turns into a burble, it mixes with the song of the music box. Peace. I’m at peace now. Her skull. It screams to me. Her skull is mine. And so it is. 

The next one I follow to a hotel room. He is just as dangerous as me with a gun in his back pocket and a leer on his face as he passes girls no older than 16 on the street. My conscience feels good about this one. I wait for him in his hotel room as he stops at the vending machine. He closes the door and he's dead. His neck cracking is the only sound I need to feel fulfilled, but the music box springs back to life. Twinkling a tune that begs for his heart. I don’t know why that’s the heart that it chooses, but it is. And it now belongs to the music box. 

And so I continue. The box rewards me with a surge of dopamine each time I claim another part for this divinity. I got every part. Each lung. Both legs. Every arm. 

“The moonlight” the box screams and sings to me. So divine and breathtaking I can’t possibly resist. Not that I could ever want to. A sigil. A song. A specific layout of each limb and organ in a masterpiece inside the forest clearing.

The music swells, so does my heart. Tears prick my eyes as a new melody joins the fray. A complexity mixing into the impossibility of such a divine and godlike sound. No. More than sound. More than divine. More than pure perfection liquified and drank by the god of the universe itself. 

It grows and grows as I scratch each sigil into each part until it is thundering in my ears. My eyes. My heart, my lungs. Thudding through the soil and roots.

Until it stops.

[definitlynotaplant]

Humans Are Weird: Insults

Hi! :) this was just a quick little 5 min writing stint that I did since I was bored and waiting for my class to start lol. As usual, any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

“Human Ella… What did you just say?” Asked the concerned alien known as Egorith after watching Human Ella and Human Kyle walk away from each other with disgust, (and in Ella's case, a little pride). 

“Well… I definitely didn’t tell him he has a voice that makes people want to gouge their eyes out with rusty spoons. And I MOST CERTAINLY didn’t tell him that one of his certain “appendages” is as small as a grain of sand. And there's no way in HELL that I told him that if it were between saving a feogjn (A horrendous, slimy, bloodthirsty monster from plant X385) and him, that everyone on the crew would unanimously choose the feogjn. 

“Well… I’m very glad that you didn’t say that” replied the alien, forgetting that humans have a thing called sarcasm. “But then… what did you say?” questioned the 5 eyed creature, staring up at the human with far too much innocence.

After a moment of surprised looks and a concerning amount of blinking (Luckily, none of which the alien noticed), Human Ella replied “Well, I simply told him to have a nice day”. 

“But then…” the alien pondered, giving human Ella time to roll her eyes, “Why did he look so mad?”

“I don't know Egorith. Maybe you should go ask him” Human Ella laughed before turning abruptly and walking away.

“Ok! I will!” shouted the tiny alien after the human. Vowing to himself that next time he saw Human Kyle, he would be sure to ask him about it.

[definitlynotaplant]

Humans Are Weird: Sweat

     “Human Steve…” the alien asked with caution “what… what the fuck is that?” 

     Human Steve looked around, visibly confused. The alien could tell this by the slight V that the human’s eyebrows formed and the slight part of its lips “what’s what?” The human said, clearly not understanding what scared the 6 eyed creature so much

     “You're bleeding! And it’s clear!” The alien screamed in a mix of fear and slight curiosity. ”Are you hurt? I don’t remember anything hurting you! Did you get in another fight with the glaums?! I thought you were told to stop?!”

      “Dude. Chill” sighed the human. Clearly exhausted from all the manual labor of re-assembling the engine after a night of drunk mistakes involving a wrench, a bottle of tequila, and a couple of overzealous first year engineers. “It’s a human thing called sweat. Humans excrete a clear liquid from their bodies when they get hot or over exerted. It’s a coping mechanism for their bodies to help cool them off. It’s mostly a mix of water and salt” 

     “O… oh” the alien stumbled over its words. It’s translator struggling to handle the influx of greatly concerning information funneling through its speakers. 

     “Ok” it mumbled weakly, backing away from the human cautiously “you’re dismissed for now. I’ll have the other engineers finish up. Just uh… just don’t do that again”. Backing up tentacle by tentacle until it was a good 20 feet away before turning and fleeing from the concerningly casual deathworlder who could crush anyone with its fingers. 

     “Huh” mumbled the deathworlder. Smiling and whistling to itself before skipping along, popping earbuds into its ears as it moved

     The rest of the aliens who were watching in fascination for any weakness to exploit from the seemingly naive humans ran away in fear. Whatever these creatures were, they were way to concerning to fuck with. 

[definitlynotaplant]

Your Eyes: A sonnet

So, this is the first time I’ve ever tried to write a sonnet but I honestly don’t completely hate how it turned out. Any feedback would be GREATLY appreciated.

Your eyes reflect the depths of the ocean

They dance in the light of the rising sun

They invoke a deep, primal emotion

They shine so bright and are second to none

They reflect your view of the universe

A raw, uncut wildness lies beneath 

The range of blues and greens is so diverse

They shine as bright as a dagger unsheathed 

Your eyes are as blue as eternal skies

The ocean itself thrums to your heartbeat

When I look at you, grief meets its demise

And the darkness ebbs away in defeat

Your eyes are those of the wind, sky, and sea

And I play that they could belong to me

[definitlynotaplant]

The World Won’t End in Fire

They said that the sky would fall in fire

That there would be screams

That we would see something

Feel something. 

They say that the world started with a spark, then a bang. I wish that it had ended that way too. I wish that I had gotten a way to say goodbye. To say I love you. To say all of the things that I needed to say. I would stretch that moment into a million heartbeats. A billion smiles. A trillion ticks of an eternal clock filled with your laughter and joy. But even one would have been enough. 

And yet, here I float. Feeling nothing but pain and agony as I stare into the nothingness that is space. Is this death? No heavenly choir, no angels floating overhead. No devils with pitchforks stabbing us. No sweltering heat to engulf us in flame. Just nothing. No hot and no cold. No evil and no good. No right and no wrong. Nothing. 

In a way, this is worse. Worse than bombs dropping or you stabbing me in the heart with a white hot knife. There is no distraction. Nothing to remember except your eyes. Your light. The million moments that we never got to have. I know you're dead too. I can feel it. Our links to each other- to humanity, have been severed. The kind that made you know that you were never truly alone. Except, now I am, and I fear that you are too. 

What are you thinking right now? Are you thinking about the 8 billion people dead? The flora and fauna that ceased to exist? Me? Are you even thinking right now? Or is your soul truly gone? Lost to the wind and the waves of fate. The tides of death. 

How long has it been without you? A year? Five? A trillion millenia compressed into a single, tortuous second?

I don't know. It doesn’t matter. It never mattered. Never will matter. Every second is painful. Every minute is agony. Not because of the physical pain of the gouges in my flesh or the radiation in my bones, but because of the pain of losing you. The pain of emptiness that I shouldn't feel but do. 

My world didn't end in fire. No, that would have been too merciful. It ended in silence. Cruel, cold, indefinite silence. 

[definitlynotaplant]

The Power of Nature

Cold, indefinite silence closes around your head

Bubbles rise around your encapsulated body

Thousands of pounds pressing on your lungs

Your heart

Waves threw you from the boat on which you felt so safe

The rainforest swallows you whole

Humidity chokes your lungs

Spiders climb along- under your flesh

A panther lurks terrifyingly near

Flood waters rise

A mix of salt and blood fills your mouth

The water burbles along, running through the cracks of your so- called shelter

It’s laughing at you. Even if you’re too far gone to hear it

Birds keep shattering their bones against the glass

Until it too shatters

Letting the feathered monsters into your 7th story apartment

They relish your screams as they tear out your flesh, your eyes

The shadows leer closer and closer

Raising their ugly heads as soon as you dare to blink

You’re not safe in your bed

Not safe from the shadow’s smile

You’re back in the ocean now

Except, not quite as deep down

Teeth rise from below you. Shining like lanterns in the darkness

You try to scream, but only bubbles escape your lips  

Something stares at you from the depths of the lake

It grabs onto the fishing pole that seemed to materialize in your hands

It’s too late to let go

You’re dragged beneath with the monster

Tornado sirens wail as you scramble for cover

Pummeled by hail and shrapnel

Whistling fills your ears

As the tree you were clinging to so desperately lets go

Drowning.

Hunted.

Begging for mercy at the feet of your killer

It makes you bow

This is the power of nature.

[definitlynotaplant]

Smile

I wrote this a little while ago and figured that I might as well post it. As an aspiring writer, any feedback would be incredibly appreciated.

Put on that fake smile

That painful grin

That disturbing leer

That glint of evil and flashing of teeth

Smile That’s what they tell us

Keep your head up

Keep your head up and everything will be ok

Society tells us to smile

Don’t let them see the cracks

The chinks in your armor

Don’t show your real self

Just give them something beautiful to look at

Nothing real

Nothing broken

Just give them something beautiful and perfect to look at

Don’t show the pain

The sadness

The agony

Only show them the perfection you have learned to perfectly conceal your truth

After all,

Who would want something ugly?

Who would want something broken?

Something real

Who would buy the crumpled box on the shelf?

No one

They belong in the back room

Where the rest of the wasted, damaged goods lie

So you keep grinning

Keep smiling

Keep your head up

Your eyes down

Don’t you dare to show your emotions

Because if you do

You’ll become another damaged good

Discarded onto the shelf with all the others.

Forgotten

Ignored

Disgraced

[definitlynotaplant]

Humans are weird: Multi-tasking

Ok... So I already posted this on the Humans Are Space Orcs page, but for some reason, it doesn't show up under my profile when I post it to there, so I guess imma post it again here? I'm completely new to Tumblr, so IDK how any of this works. (PLEASE tell me if I'm doing this wrong/ if this is stupid lol) Also, and feedback on this story would be great since this is my first funny humans are space orcs thing I've written, so anything helps lol. Anyways... without further adu... here's this thing

Wh… why Xeno 224 mumbled to itself, watching in fascination as the human named Kyle sat on its desk (No, not in its specifically designed for its back desk chair. Just… just its actual writing platform) while it sat with its legs crossed in what humans called “Criss- cross- applesauce” (Though this name completely baffled and slightly terrified 224). It had white, irregular shaped objects called earbuds sticking out of its ears. it stared down at a sheet of empty paper while a television show was playing in the background. (First mate Amy introduced them all to television, and it makes a lot more sense to see humans sitting in front of small, animated screens watching other humans exist). All of a sudden, the human started making strange, rhythmic vocal noises without opening its mouth called humming. It then grabbed a pen and started thwack- thwack- thwacking it down on the desk not hard, but just enough to make a sound that resonated through the once silent sleeping cubicle. Just as suddenly, it stopped the thwacking and instead clicked the pen to life and started sketching something that the humans have called a “Tree”. 

224 decided to take a risk and ask the human what it was doing. “Human Kyle. Why is you that doing?” questioned the alien in broken english. 

Human Kyle jumped, obviously not having noticed 225 standing there. After regaining its composure, Human Kyle asked, “Doing what?” still with those earbuds in its ears

“Th… that” stuttered the alien. Flailing its tentacles around wildly, trying to convey the mix of a seemingly incomprehensible amount of activities that the human somehow managed to do with ease.

“I need a little more clarification buddy” The human said with a bubble in its voice that 224 identified as “Laughter”

“Nevermind” sighed 224 as it turned around in resignation. Drawing the conclusion that humans must be lightyears smarter than anyone gives them credit for. Just as he was rushing out the door to report that humans have a wild, untold amount of brain precision power that no one had picked up on, it saw Human Amy lightly jogging towards him. Just then, she smacked into the sliding glass door, stumbled back, waved her hand in front of the scanner and confidently walked forwards and… smacked back into the door yet again. 

“Scratch that” 224 thought to itself before doing a thing called an “eye roll” and walking in the opposite direction as Human Amy. No longer feeling the need to report the so-called “untold, wild brain power” that it had hypothesized about.