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I finally got around to watching Moana 2 and here are my thoughts (spoilers.) Also if you don’t like CinemaSins you probably won’t appreciate this so just skip it boo thang:

They really said “we have cultural appreciation at home”

The soundtrack is in the same soul pod as Kidz Bop in the most karmic way

In the entertainment justice system, cash grab based offenses are considered especially heinous. In Internetland, the dedicated reviewers who investigate these vicious crimes against humanity are members of an elite squad known as the Animated Victims Unit. These are their stories.

WHY IS SHE USING THE SCYTHE THING LIKE THAT, VOTE HER OFF THE BOAT WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A BOAT

They want to sell more coconut toys, obvs

Why do they insist on pairing VA’s with songs that require a different type of vocal tonal category (re: the Fach system) to sing them well? I’m so tired of flat, hollow singing from VA’s without big voices trying to sing songs that require a ton of vocal power to fill them out. The Rat Mafia needs to give up on the classic Disney music format if they won’t hire that style of singer and instead write songs for the VA’s they do hire OR go back to hiring based on appropriate vocal capabilities for the songs they insist on writing. It’s literally so simple to fix. Not everyone has that type of voice, stop trying to make fetch happen. Let them shine in the way they DO sing.

Ok but is the scary bat lady single?

“I have the power of god and anime on my side”

I wish the lightning thing was explored way earlier instead of being a cliffhanger (no not her)

CPR EXISTS WTF AT LEAST DO A RECOVERY POSITION?! WHAT IS THIS DANGEROUS NONSENSE

The boats immediately appear, HOW

That’s a lot of tourists and not a single damn AirBnB in site, you’re going to decimate your food supply AND leave them camping rough??? You don’t have the infrastructure for this

Wouldn’t it have been interesting to see literally anything at all about the guests BEFORE the end? Like maybe a sub plot or two? Could explain their immediate arrival too and why everyone is so cheerful to see each other and not a single person acted aggressively

They did my bat girlfriend so dirty, where is her screen time?

I’m vehemently against making Moana anything other than a badass human being, why do we HAVE to tack privilege onto every single protagonist? Why can’t they just be a normal person with a dream? The ocean stuff was already pretty wild but at least she didn’t lean on it 95% of the time, but now? “Sorry kids, unless you’re destined for greatness and made into the most elite member of your social circle, you won’t be able to make a real difference other than laboring for one of those heroes instead, so get in line.” This should have ended with her focusing on teaching these skills to her village and her father finding someone else to pass the mantle to because Moana is just not on board (heh) with being stuck on a single island THE WAY THEY NEED IN ORDER TO FUNCTION. Leaders should be accountable for leading, not going off on wild adventures like Rafael Edward “Ted” (he/him) Cruz while his state froze over without power. Seriously, she doesn’t need to be handed everything with zero repercussions bc “daddy got over his control issues, he believes in me now!” They vaguely touched on this in the beginning but they really made it out like she gets the best of both worlds and that’s that because she’s *chosen.*

They really sucked the soul out of the franchise in order to make it a franchise

I wanted to like this movie so badly. I knew I wouldn’t love it like the first one, but I went in so ready to appreciate it for what it was. I kept my standards low and they still tripped on the bar and flung themselves under it somehow. It doesn’t have to be this way. We can make wonderful art, there’s so much talent to go around. Holding out hope Andor season 2 will carry the torch better.

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I’m in my lichen era as a writer, and I think that’s important to celebrate

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I need you to understand, I would PERISH for Sky Fish

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Help, I accidentally made like a gallon of sweet-n-spicy mustard dressing

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Vessel has big orange cat energy

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It was subtle but Marcille’s reaction to Laios seeing her in that dress is giving me life. Marcille’s sexuality is The Touden Siblings and that’s very valid of her.

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That feel when I’ve been writing for a while and come up for air and looking back at what I’ve written feels like being told I did a bunch of stuff in a total fucking fugue state and I have no clue if it’s good or just unhinged brain vomit

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I’m glad the fandom as a whole is discussing how our culinary king Senshi “Only Pans” of Izganda is out here serving more than meals

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I’ll soothe you to sleep with the sound of your own heartbeat in my chest

My job as an actress isn't to convince you into thinking everything is real; it's to win you over into convincing yourself it is

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The number of Senshi underwear shots without a single “whoa, hey!” this week was positively criminal

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Draw me like one of your French grills

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Diagnosed with being too got dam awesome for general consumption

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My toxic trait is thinking I could fix Madara

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Let predictive text finish this:

“Good morning but only to ___”

I’ll go first. Good morning but only to the extent you can get the job and get the money. 😂 Predictive text said only if you got the bag for me babyy 💍👑💰

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When you never let ‘em know your next move

Give me a random reaction meme and I’ll give it a caption, I’ll go first (indefinitely until I get bored)

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When the hormones hit just right

Give me a random reaction meme and I’ll give it a caption, I’ll go first (indefinitely until I get bored)

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Me: I’m sorry I can’t attend the next meeting that could have been an email, I’ll be in ceremony on that date 🫶

Boss: you wut