diyannav

[diyannav]

It’s pretty real when trans people are just as excited to get their name change completed for PayPal as they are for their fucking diploma.

[diyannav]

Merry Christmas everyone

[diyannav]

Hi there!

[diyannav]

Cis-Gender people don't think about being transgender constantly

A rather wise acquaintance of mine

Powerful statement indeed, if you are ever in doubt of what you really are or if you “aren’t trans enough” ask yourself how often you’ve thought about it and for how long. It’s real easy to try and make it into a fetish or some sort of dark secret you can just hide from everyone. It will eventually break free.

[diyannav]

Love it when someone in public or on social media is like “that’s a dude!”

Do you want a fucking cookie for finding the trans girl?

Let’s talk about how you are so familiar with trans people that you can identify one on the fly. Ya closeted prick.

[diyannav]

[diyannav]

Omg this is amazing

her favorite lipstick

[diyannav]

Big life dump: it’s kinda my 15 month update.

So I went to DragonCon, that’s a thing I do.

I had hair transplants. That’s thing I don’t really want to do ever again but I fear might be necessary in the future.

I’m back to running weekly. That’s a thing I love to do and missed during my healing period.

I’m happy. That’s a thing that is kinda new to me but I’m trying to get used to and I think I’ll keep doing.

[diyannav]

This woman is my spirit guide. ❤️

An Update About How Life is Going for Ariana (Including Dating) - June 13, 2018

This long post is a general update with many pictures spread throughout, because it has been too long since I did a proper write-up. I have not been streaming or writing longer blog posts much lately because I have been actively dating. By actively dating, I mean for nearly every free night I have lately, I have been scheduling a date.

It has been going very well. Both dating apps that I chose to install have served me well I think. Is there someone special yet? Not specifically, but there have been a couple of people that I have now seen more than once and others with whom I am planning a follow-up date. While I am certainly playing the field, I am not sleeping around or anything like that. I am the type of person that needs to feel connected to someone before I jump into that. So, if you are looking for details to that effect, there are none… yet.

I always disclose the fact that I am transgender within the initial several instant messages and most certainly before I meet someone for drinks or coffee. I am not interested in wasting my time or their time if they for some reason can’t see themselves with someone who has transitioned. There have been a few people that immediately disappeared and unmatched with me after I let them know I transitioned. It is important to just expect this and chalk it up to unfair stigma. That person is not necessarily even a bad person for doing it, they possibly just are dealing with a fear similar to the one that used to prevent me from transitioning when I was much more weak in my personal confidence and my outlook on life. I actually smile at times picturing a little person shaped hole in the virtual wall that is my dating app. They sometimes get out of there really fast!

Too bad for them! I know this is not the approach some transgender women take, but this is right for me. Being post-op, I could probably “get away” with not disclosing, but honestly I look at it as a good filtering mechanism. If someone is too wrapped up in what others may think, or they have their own “deeply held beliefs” a.k.a twisted ideas about transgender people, then buh-bye! Also, I am an OUT transgender woman. With my website, twitch channel, and social media activities doing my best to support others like me, there is no way I am going to go into hiding for someone.

Have there been some surprising moments and even some tender moments? Yes. I am very happy to say yes.

I am being treated well by those I have met in person. I would even go so far as to say that I have had one “perfect” first date experience. It was.. just amazing. Sadly, things are not moving along with that person like I had hoped. At least, not yet.

That is okay though. I have now repeatedly proven to myself that I can do this. There have been dates where I would even say I was the much more confident party in attendance and that just blows my mind ;) I know this sounds like I am bragging, but my blog has always been about the highs and lows of my transition and my friends this is most definitely a high point!

In addition to dating, I have had my first bikini wax and subsequently worn some fun one-piece swimsuits to different pool parties. I no longer feel the need to wear one of those one piece/short or skirt combo swimsuits. I am looking to buy a good two-piece bikini, but I have yet to find the right one.

Does this all mean everything is wonderful all the time for me? Of course it does not. I am still to this day tracking down and dealing with making sure transition related bills get covered properly by my insurance and that the remainder gets paid out of my exploded budget. Financially, I have a killer job, but because of what has transpired the last few years I live like I just got out of school and have a mountain of student debt.

Also, I deal with the same horrible media representation of transgender people that we all do. I am regularly attacked by people online that hate me simply for being who I am. I have family members and former friends that don’t speak to me (though thankfully I also have a ton of both family and friends that are supportive and loving). There are days when it all gets to me and I just have to cry it all out.

(I know it is weird to have a selfie of me crying, but I actually do this to help track when I feel this way) Once I do have a good cry and release all of that negativity, I pick myself up and I attack my life as best I can. I prefer to head off any crying spells with a good bike ride/workout, but sometimes they still happen. You know what, that’s okay, it’s healthy to cry away stress from time to time.

Today, I was able to get out there during my lunch hour and beat my personal best on one segment of a trail that I ride.

This is a hard life. There are times when I look back on the past few years and I am just in awe that I have made it through all of that. If I can do it, believe me anyone can. Learn how to take care of yourself, your body, your heart, and your soul. Amazing things start to happen when you love yourself and believe you can constantly learn to do better in all things. When negativity strikes, do not let your thoughts trap you in the moment and in present circumstances. Instead, focus on the things you know you can improve and work on them. There is always something! You know how I mentioned feeling like I was just out of college and dealing with a mountain of debt? Well, thankfully I also feel like I am actually that age (despite the fact that I am about to turn 44). I am in the best shape of my life since my high school days when I played soccer. It has everything to do with actually being free to be myself and attempting to live my life to its fullest. The only fountain of youth I know about is all about just being you and living your best life. 

Be strong!

You got this!! Happy Pride Month!

-Ariana

[diyannav]

So,real talk…

…let me tell you how weird of a journey it has been.

Two years since I decided to transition. Two years of going to a therapist; not so that I feel better but so that I someone in the medical field can diagnose me that I have ‘gender dysphoria’; not because I’m mentally I’ll but because the government needs to be 'reassured’ that I am who I claim to be; not that I need to be reassured but because I can’t change my gender marker on any legal documents without being on hormones/going through surgery; not that I need to be on hormones to be myself but because I need a doctor’s note to prove that I am female…

ANYWHO! DONE WITH THAT NON-SENSE!!

I can’t Express how amazing it feels to be able to go places and just hand people my updated ID. Something as simple as an ID card brings me so much joy just because it’s got my actual identity on there.

That aside, I also got my ssn, my passport and my military ID all updated. I’m pretty much at that point in my transition where all that’s left is a surgery and honesty I don’t think I want it until the surgery is as good as it gets… because right now it’s not. I know we can regrow ENTIRE ORGANS in a LAB but hey politics hasn’t released that as something available to the public yet. Stupid…

Regardless, I’d like to start an investment for my surgery in the future. However faraway that may be.

Currently I’m neither happy or sad with my privates. So not really a problem. It’s a non-issue right now.

Someone tell me how the whole GoFundMe thing works? Thanks!!

[diyannav]

DragonCon was fun 💜 I guess it’s been a while since I’ve made an update.

[diyannav]

[diyannav]

felt accomplished today. Small workout, 2 miles ran. Starting to feel like I’m getting somewhere I don’t miss those 90lbs of pain and suffering.

[diyannav]

Me at my heaviest and a point in my life where I cared the least about myself vs the most recent where I’ve begun to learn to love myself for the first time ever. A discussion with a friend recently pointed out that HRT is only one small tool in the process, what you see in the right photo is a year of dieting, proper nutrition, exercise, 2 million steps logged and gallons of tears.

[diyannav]

Planned Parenthood Is Helping Transgender Patients Access Hormone Therapy

Across much of the country, it can be difficult to find doctors who are willing to prescribe the drugs required for hormone replacement therapy, and medical practitioners who choose not to prescribe hormones to these patients may be ignorant or insensitive to patients who come in to request them. Fortunately, a large national organization with a name most people are already familiar with has stepped up to bridge the gap in access to treatment for transgender patients. Planned Parenthood affiliates are increasingly offering HRT as one of the many vital health care services they offer to underserved communities.

And here’s a link to those Planned Parenthoods that offer HRT.

[diyannav]

I used to hate all the weird flags and diversity. And me today is like *cries* “that’s me!”

Last one lol 

Masculine transwomen flag: Blue representing masculinity in their gender expression and the pink representing their identity as a female.

Awesome, thank you!

-Fy

[diyannav]

Yes, that’s a 1.5” needle. Yes, it makes me squeamish every. Damn. Time. And I have to do it twice a week Sunday/wednesday but it means i don’t have to take any toxic bullshit anti-androgens like spiro or finestaride that cause cognitive issues and make you gain belly fat and liver disease. It’s worth the squeamishness to avoid potentially life long issues caused by those drugs. This is the safest form of HRT. Just estradiol in a dose high enough to naturally suppress testosterone without the estrone spikes that come with oral estrogens.