electronicpoliceduck

[electronicpoliceduck]

me when i see internet randos peddling their workouts or nutrition tips:

[electronicpoliceduck]

hate when recipes be like "2 ingredient" this, "three ingredient" that, and one of those "ingredients" is a frikkin boxed mix of some kind

[electronicpoliceduck]

EAT THE MOON

Eat the MOON dude

eat the MOON

I don't gotta explain anything

The objective could not be more clear

get up and

eat the moon

go go GO GO GO

You've always wanted to eat the moon

gO GO GO GO GO GO

[electronicpoliceduck]

Why we not using salted butter, bro

I mean I could google it but maybe somebody got a rant ready

[electronicpoliceduck]

Ikea: what's missing from your sleep setup?

Me: the sleep

[electronicpoliceduck]

I feel like Kaladin is slowly becoming my cousin Throckmorton

I will not elaborate

[electronicpoliceduck]

I read "one (1)" as "one, ONE"

[electronicpoliceduck]

Trope I hate nearly as much as the *takes off glasses to be hot*:

*dude gets a haircut to be hot*

LEAVE MY MANS GORGEOUS FLOWING LOCKS ALONE

[electronicpoliceduck]

Pet peeve: I'm pretty sure making out with someone in full body armor would hurt.

[electronicpoliceduck]

Pet peeve: hero has the most defined body builder type muscles. Always. And bandages go into every defined crevice as the heroine bandages him.

[electronicpoliceduck]

I made a joke.

What did the Canadian say to their friend when the first maple tree was discovered?

"I'd tap that."

[electronicpoliceduck]

"Connected without internet"

And yet you somehow managed to load only the ads anyway.

[electronicpoliceduck]

Pet peeve: lions do not live in jungles.

[electronicpoliceduck]

Please don't immediately call me when I confirm I have a video call app. I have social anxiety and I'm on the toilet.

[electronicpoliceduck]

Watercolor paint: Oh, you need me over here? Yeah yeah, no problem, lemme just, head over... Ah, not here? Of course, of course, I gotchu, fam.

Acrylic paint: I'm here now.

Me: But, I didn't, put you th-

Acrylic paint: Did I Stutter?

[electronicpoliceduck]

World leaders should be required to have a sassy gay friend to call them out on their bullshit.

[electronicpoliceduck]

Shout out to my college campus for having bathroom stalls with no gaps around the doors.