elenasdelusions

[elenasdelusions]

i went out with a few friends today, and we were talking about movies and tv shows we like when Harry Potter came up as a topic.

and then one of my friends just casually says, “do you guys know... mattheo riddle?”

the way i instantly FROZE.

i was like, “girl... this is literally my husband you’re talking about…”

i swear i never thought i’d ever hear that name in real life bc even tho we are a big fandom i fell like the slytherin boys are kinda niche idk 😭

i spent 10 minutes debating whether to mention this blog or not, but i decided to keep it my safe anonymous space lol

anyway, i just thought it was pretty cool and needed to share

she’s a lorenzo girl btw and now i have someone to talk about my obsession with irl too yay

[elenasdelusions]

need a curly haired brown eyed boy to grab me by the throat and kiss me with heat and passion

[elenasdelusions]

→ tw: heavy drinking and heavy smoking. ←

I feel like Theodore Nott and Mattheo Riddle both smoke and drink a lot.

But Mattheo drinks way more than Theo does,

and Theo smokes way more than Mattheo does.

And that’s how they deal with their problems.

Mattheo downs a bottle of whiskey.

And Theo chain-smokes a pack of cigarettes.

Because Mattheo is extremely impulsive and intense, so when he’s spiraling, he needs something that works fast. That will give him that instant escape and numbing. And alcohol does that. It drowns out the noise and gives him that detached feeling so he doesn’t have to deal with his own thoughts. at least for now…

But Theo, on the other hand, is more… Internalized. He doesn’t explode like Mattheo, he implodes. And smoking is repetitive. Grounding. The ritual of lighting a cigarette, inhaling, exhaling… it gives him a sense of control even when everything else feels out of his control.

Where Mattheo wants to drown everything out, Theo wants to slow everything down.

"𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱."

but they never really do.

Such a healthy duo of best friends, right?

Just some random thoughts, but I could write a whole essay about it. (I probably will)

divider link @enchanthings-a

[elenasdelusions]

reblog if you’re a sick fuck

[elenasdelusions]

i am longing for a man who not only isn’t real, but who also doesn’t even exist in the harry potter universe at all, so i can’t even watch him in the movies…

and i’ll cope in the healthiest way possible: i’ll write another huge ass essay about him and post it on tumblr 🥴

[elenasdelusions]

➽── 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒐 𝑹𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒍𝒆 & 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 ──❥

hii! this will probably make more sense and be a better reading if you read my mattheo riddle portrayal first ˙ᵕ˙

tw: mature language, sexual content. a part of this post will be NSFW, i’ll indicate where. mdni about the nsfw parts ♡

⊹˚₊‧──────── ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ────────‧₊˚⊹

Mattheo Riddle and love have a complicated relationship.

Well, what is love, after all?

There are many kinds of love, they say.

→ There is 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲.

Supposedly, this is the very first kind someone feels in their life. It teaches you how to love, and how to feel loved.

Well, we can already cross that one off Mattheo’s list.

Unless, of course, you consider the eerie sound of Bellatrix Lestrange’s manic screams, the extremely painful severe punishments of Rodolphus, and Tom’s daily humiliations, as a demonstration of love.

But beyond that, there really wasn’t much else offered to Mattheo inside his house.

But they did teach Mattheo something about love, at least.

Love is conditional.

Well, it’s not exactly a quote. They didn’t exactly tell Mattheo that.

As a matter of fact, such a foolish word as “love” was rarely ever spoken in the Lestrange Manor. But they didn’t need to. The lesson was loud and clear.

You see, Mattheo wasn’t born out of love. Maybe, if you count the rabid adoration Bellatrix had for Voldemort, you could call it something. But not love. No. Mattheo was born out of purpose.

When you’re conceived to serve a purpose, expectations wrap around your throat before you even learn how to speak.

And if there’s one thing Mattheo learned about expectations, it’s that people get really upset if you fail to meet them.

And that’s where the conditions come in.

Inside the Lestrange Manor, the correlation between affection and expectations was brutally clear.

If Mattheo lived up to Bellatrix and Rodolphus’ standards, he earned affection.

Well, at least as much affection as the unhinged couple could possibly offer.

With Bellatrix, affection was just like everything else she did: unstable and exaggerated.

One moment, she’d cup Mattheo’s face in her cold hands, her eyes glittering with feverish pride as she whispered how important he was, how powerful he was meant to be. She’d stroke his hair, press her forehead to his, almost trembling with delight at the sight of her ‘accomplishment’.

But in the very next breath, her smile could shatter. Her grip would tighten painfully, her eyes would darken, and the eerie sound of her screams would echo through the walls of the mansion. Saying that he was a disappointment, that he was weak, unworthy of the greatness of his lineage.

Then, she’d shove him away, sneering, as if the mere sight of him disgusted her.

With Rodolphus, affection was far simpler: it was the absence of pain. The closest thing to tenderness Mattheo ever got from him was not being struck, not being subjected to one of his harsh words or disgusted looks.

In that house, silence and indifference could almost pass for love.

But it wasn’t, was it?

But even so, the conditional nature of that ‘affection’ (as twisted as it was), became painfully clear if observed at how differently Mattheo and Tom were treated.

Tom, who had always stood taller under the expectations, received their twisted versions of ‘affection’.

Mattheo, on the other hand, the weaker brother, as they so often reminded him, was left with the harshest edges of their disappointment.

So that’s how it was.

If you wanted affection, you had to earn it.

And for long stretches of his childhood, Mattheo even contemplated the possibility of this so-called love, not existing at all.

That it was merely something invented to give books their plots and make stories seem more interesting. Or maybe, simply to keep people from feeling utterly alone. like he felt

But then he’d see the way his aunt Narcissa and Lucius looked and treated Draco with so much affection, just because.

And he had to abandon that theory.

So Mattheo settled on his final conclusion:

Love was real.

But maybe it just wasn’t meant for him.

Maybe, he had already been born tainted. Hardly surprising, given who his parents were.

Or maybe he simply wasn’t worthy of it.

Either way, of one thing he was sure:

If love was conditional, then he didn’t meet the requirements.

Then, there is the second kind of love:

→ Platonic love.

This is the kind of love that comes when you start building connections outside your family. Friendly love, as some call it.

It’s the first kind of love you actively choose, deciding who are the ones receiving it.

And this one, at least, Mattheo can say he has.

In fact, the bunch of misfits Mattheo calls his best friends, were the first people who ever made him feel like he truly belonged somewhere.

And Mattheo is extremely attached to them.

They’ve all seen each other at their worst: hungover, bleeding after fights, breaking down over family shit…

They’ve stood by Mattheo’s side for years, so to him, they are home. The closest thing he’s ever had to a real family.

Each of them carries their own mess and issues.

And they might not sit around holding hands, talking about their feelings, but one thing is certain: at the end of the day, they can count on each other.

Still, even if Mattheo never says it out loud, deep down, he’s terrified that one day they’ll wake up and realize they’re tired of his bullshit. That he’s simply too much, and not worth the effort.

Mattheo is hyperaware of rejection. Because, well, how could he not be, growing up drenched in it?

And as I mentioned in his portrayal, he’s extremely sensitive to even the slightest shifts in someone’s behavior.

So if one of them pulls away from him, even if just a bit, let’s say if Lorenzo seems especially distant from him lately, or Theo cancels on him last minute or makes other plans with someone else, Mattheo’s mind isn’t shy to race to the worst possibilities.

Because underneath all his cocky, “I don’t give a fuck” armor, there still lives that panicked, neglected little boy who thinks any day now, they’ll realize they’ve had enough.

So he handles this fear of abandonment in the only ways someone who hates showing vulnerability knows how: he either pushes them away or overcompensates.

He’ll start pointless fights, shuts down emotionally, just to see if they’ll stay.

In the end, it’s all a test. It’s like he needs them to prove it over and over again: I’m not leaving you, asshole.

Desperate for them to prove that the voices inside his head are wrong.

Or, he does what’s more typical for Mattheo: he overcompensates.

Not in the ordinary way of sucking up or pouring out soft, fluffly words. But in the… unique Mattheo Riddle way, let’s say.

If someone messes with his friends? They’re dead.

If someone talks shit about them? They’re dead.

If one of his friends killed someone? Well, they for sure had a damn good reason!

Need help hiding the body? Just say where and when.

Of course, all of this has gotten better over the years. Their friendship has grown so strong that if anyone ever tried to leave the group, they’d probably have to kill them first. (they know too much 🧐)

But jokes or not aside, their little friend group has become a safe space for Mattheo. For all of them, really.

But that annoying, relentless voice will always lurk somewhere in the back of Mattheo’s mind.

And finally:

જ⁀➴ There is the romantic love.

Well, this one is way more complicated, isn’t it? And far more interesting too.

You see, the thing about romantic love is that it has a way of creeping in when you least expect it. And more often than not, right when you least want it to.

But let’s come back to this one later, shall we?

First, let’s not talk about love.

₊˚ ︵‿︵‿୨ 𝓒𝓪𝓼𝓾𝓪𝓵 𝓼𝓮𝔁 ୧‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

tw: NSFW content. mdni. ageless blogs dni.

If there’s one thing Mattheo Riddle has always been a fan of, it’s uncommitted things.

Totally unsurprising, coming from a guy who can’t even commit to a new hobby for more than a month.

He hates being told what to do, and he hates even more the idea of being stuck with something, or someone, he doesn’t like or care about.

And when it comes to his sex life, it’s no different.

Mattheo is big on casual hookups.

They’re simple. Uncomplicated.

You’re horny. You find someone attractive. You have sex. It’s done.

No expectations. No consequences. No mess.

It’s safe.

In a world where everyone seems to want something from you, or worse, hide what they truly want, Mattheo has always preferred keeping things clear.

He makes it obvious from the beginning: he’s not looking for something serious.

He never pretends to want anything other from them. He never makes promises. And he never stays for the night.

Because the last thing he wants is a girl clinging to him the next morning, believing they’re something they’re not.

But despise the popular belief, Mattheo Riddle isn’t exactly what you’d call a player.

At Hogwarts, he’s more of a guilty pleasure.

And let’s be for real: Clearly, it’s not “guilty” because he isn’t hot. You can say a lot of things about Mattheo Riddle, but you definitely can’t say he’s not hot.

It’s guilty because of who he is.

He’s the guy your parents warned you about:

Ridiculously hot, a little bit of an asshole, with a bad reputation and a sinful smile.

Oh, and let’s not forget: the son of the most powerful Dark wizard of all time.

So let’s say he’s the literal embodiment of every girl’s bad boy fantasy.

But at the end of the day, a fantasy is exactly that: just a fantasy.

And under normal circumstances, most girls do not want to be associating themselves with the Dark Lord’s son.

But when you’re tipsy at a party, and he’s there; cigarette between his fingers, with that sinful smirk tugging at his lips, and looking like everything you should stay away from, suddenly, he seems like the best idea you’ve ever had.

And that’s when most of his hookups happen.

He enjoys the flirting, but most of the times, he doesn’t even have to make much effort, really.

His rules are clear: no emotional strings. No “what are we?” in the next morning.

But, luckily, or not, that’s rarely ever a problem.

Because the girls who approach Mattheo usually fall into one of two categories:

1. They’re chasing the thrill.

A night of ‘danger’ with the fantasy of Mattheo Riddle, Hogwarts’ infamous bad boy. They want the excitement of the forbidden. The thrill of doing something they shouldn’t. The lust.

And that fits perfectly! Right?

Or:

2. They see a challenge.

The delusion that they can somehow “change him.” Tame the ‘bad boy’. Fix him. Spoiler: they can’t. And Mattheo doesn’t fuck with that. So after a while they realize that and usually just give up.

But in either way, in the end, both come from the same place: a version of him they built in their heads. A idealized fantasy they created without even knowing him at all.

And honestly? It’s ok. (is it?)

Because Mattheo —who is terrified of vulnerability and avoids it like a disease— doesn’t really want them to know him anyway. So it doesn’t really matter, does it?

Usually, Mattheo searches hookups for two primarily reasons, and sometimes, a mix of them:

╰⪼ First, we have the most obvious one: he’s just feeling really fucking horny.

And when that’s the case, he’s restless. He flirts shamelessly. He lives for the chase.

He knows exactly what he’s doing to them, and he loves it.

During sex, he’s rough. Ripping clothes off. Dirty talking. Hands everywhere. Manhandling.

There’s a smirk tugging at his lips, low groans rumbling against your throat as he drags you exactly where he wants you.

He watches them fall apart under him like it’s a personal victory.

Every move is deliberate, practiced, cocky.

And then… It’s over.

And he leaves.

He might linger a few minutes. Light a cigarette. Offer them one. Exchange a few words.

But that’s it.

He never stays much longer, and he definitely doesn’t sleep in the same bed.

If the sex is good, he might sleep with them another time or two, but it’s never much more than that. Because he doesn’t want it to become “complicated”.

╰⪼ Then, there’s the second reason: He just desperately wants to feel something.

Sometimes, it’s not about lust at all. Sometimes, Mattheo fucks to forget.

The things is, Mattheo has always lived with this constant, gnawing, feeling of emptiness inside him.

It’s not exactly sadness. It’s not anger either.

It’s something deeper.

Hollow. Painful.

Something he can’t quite understand.

Most days, he pushes it down. Shoves it into the back of his chest and pretends it’s not there.

But some days, it eats him alive.

And on those days, he’ll reach for anything, literally anything, to drown it out.

and that’s usually when he makes his worst and most impulsive decisions.

And Mattheo uses sex the same way he uses fights, alcohol, or cigarettes: as a coping mechanism. A temporary fix, you might call.

A desperate attempt to try to fill that void he carries around like a second skin.

And sex with numb Mattheo is extremely different than sex with horny Mattheo.

There’s nothing “seductive” about it.

There’s no foreplay. No teasing. No dirty talks or effort to set the mood.

He just doesn’t care.

He’s rough, but not in the usual way that makes your legs shake.

It’s just… Soulless. Almost mechanic, really.

Like he’s just going through the steps.

Just motion.

Just skin.

Just friction.

His pace is fast, like he’s trying to fuck something out of his system. His touch is unthinking, urgent.

Like he’s chasing a high he can’t reach. A feeling that never comes.

It’s not passion. It’s not lust.

It’s desperation.

A silent, desperate plea to feel something. Anything.

But he doesn’t.

Not really.

Because it never works.

In fact, usually, it actually ends up making it much worse.

A completely different type of emptiness emerges as he just gets dressed in silence, numb fingers fumbling with his belt, and walks away. Like nothing happened.

Because what Mattheo doesn’t understand, what he can’t understand, is that the kind of comfort and intimacy he’s truly looking for, is not sexual.

And it’s not going to be found in careless, meaningless hookups.

As someone who feels so much, but has no clue how to handle his own emotions, he doesn’t even realize that he is in reality, just really lonely.

And you might think that it makes no sense that Mattheo actually craves real intimacy, considering he is the one who chooses to always keep everyone at arm length. (actually, it’s not even arm’s length. It’s more of a whole damn building away.)

But one thing you need to know about Mattheo Riddle is:

What he truly wants and needs, is completely different from how he acts.

And with that knowledge, we can now finally move back to the primary topic:

₊˚ ︵‿୨ 𝓡𝓸𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓬 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 ୧‿︵ ˚₊

Mattheo Riddle doesn’t quite understand romantic love.

He understands lust, sure. Physical attraction.

Because those make sense.

Looking at someone and thinking they’re hot?Normal. Basic physiological reactions of the human body. He has felt it many times.

But love?

How is falling in love supposed to feel like anyway?

He does believe in romantic love.

Of course he does. He’d be an idiot not to at this point.

He’s seen it everywhere; In the books he reads, in the movies he watches, in the way all those countless couples walked around Hogwarts corridors, smiling and holding hands. And more than anything else, he’s heard about it in almost every single song he listens to.

After all, you don’t become such a devoted fan of The Smiths like Mattheo is without believing, at least a little bit, in the painful beauty of love.

But listening about love and watching it happen to other people is completely different than actually feeling it yourself.

And not surprisingly, for someone who doesn’t even bother forming emotional attachments outside his safe, small circle of friends, Mattheo Riddle has never fallen in love.

The real reasons behind this, pile over.

However, one of the many is: He just doesn’t fall in love easily.

If anything, he used to think he was immune to it.

he could be, right? maybe he took after his charming father.

Sure, he’s had ‘crushes’… If you can even call them that. Girls he thought were attractive. Girls who intrigued him for a night or two. Maybe they said something clever, or had a nice laugh. But it never went much deeper than that. It always ended up being nothing more than just lust in a prettier outfit. His interest never really lingered for long.

The truth is: Mattheo gets bored easily.

To him, it’s like people start to just blur together after a while. Same tiring conversations. Same shallow questions and small talk.

Same obsession with the version of him they think they know. But never really with the boy beneath it.

Most people feel like background noise. Static. Something to drown out the chaos inside his head with.

And most of the time, that’s exactly what he’s looking for.

But it’s definitely not something to fall in love with.

Another reason, among the many, is the own way Mattheo perceives romantic love.

And his perception of love is already a layered and complex contradiction by itself.

He has two versions of love inside his mind, and they are both constantly fighting each other.

The first one, is the one he wants to believe he believes.

This is the one he shares without any hesitation.

So when Lorenzo starts rambling about the latest girl he’s hooking up with —that is probably the seventh “love of his life” he found this year— and the group enters the delicate subject of love, Mattheo plays his role perfectly.

Shrugs. Rolls his eyes. Leans back. Says what he always says:

“Love is stupid.”

Yeah, really touching, right?

He says it like it’s fact. Like it’s just common sense.

Why the fuck would anyone want to fall in love, anyway?

For what reason, especially in this fucked up world they live in, where no one is never actually 100% safe, would someone not only purposely choose to, but actually WANT to be as vulnerable as being in love?

Because that’s exactly what love does, isn’t it? It makes you vulnerable. Exposed.

And according to Mattheo’s experience, vulnerability = danger.

It’s stupid. Honestly.

So no, thanks. He’d rather stick to his usual, not-stupid, casual flings.

That’s what he tells everyone, anyway. That's what he wants to believe in.

…

But it’s not entirely true, is it?

You see, Mattheo with love is like a jealous kid watching someone else ace a game they are too afraid or not allowed to play: he shrugs, scoffs. Says it’s dumb, overrated. But deep down, he’s actually dying to know what it feels like.

Because bashing love, portraying it as something useless and meaningless, is a hell of a lot easier than accepting the cold truth he doesn’t want to admit, not even to himself: That he actually craves it more than anything.

To be completely fair, most of the time, he doesn’t even totally understand this. He’s not even fully aware of just how deep that longing still runs inside him.

But growing up mostly alone and neglected, he has always craved the feeling of being loved.

…Even if he never had a way of knowing how being loved actually felt like.

Every kid craves affection. And as twisted as the kind available to him was, Mattheo spent years of his childhood trying to earn it inside his own house. Desperately seeking approval from the very people who should’ve given it to him freely.

But it never really worked. And that love never came.

And even outside of his house, rejection seemed to follow him around like a curse.

So eventually, the lessons stuck. He accepted that perhaps that’s just how it’s supposed to be.

A traumatized boy who learned to bury every need, every quiet plea for warmth, so deep inside himself he nearly forgot they were there.

Because it’s easier to shut your self off, pretend you don’t want something even if you desperately do, than to have it denied to you over and over again.

And now he’s older. Hardened. Built walls tall enough to keep everyone out.

And somewhere along the way, that desperation curdled into frustration. And that frustration twisted into anger. He figured out how to make his emotions hurt him less by making them hurt other people first.

The walking definition of emotionally unavailable.

But the thing is, those walls he defensively built around himself are just as intimidating as they are fragile.

And all that suppressed emotion, all those buried, desperate cravings still live just behind it, waiting for even the smallest crack to come through.

And if you somehow manage to hit it in the right spot, the whole thing could come crashing down extremely fast.

And he knows it. He can feel it there.

And it terrifies him.

Because for a guy as intense as Mattheo, love feels dangerous. And not in a sweet, risky, butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of way. No.

But more like: handing someone a knife with your eyes closed and hoping they don’t use it.

Because real love means giving someone access to a version of him he doesn’t even know how to deal with himself.

And if he sometimes can’t even handle the vulnerability that comes with caring about his friends without messing it up or doing something utterly stupid, how the hell is he supposed to survive the kind that comes with falling in love?

Nope. He definitely wasn’t made for it.

But oh, does he imagine it…

Mattheo would be caught DEAD before he ever admitted how often, on his usual brooding days —cigarette between his fingers, headphones on with The Smiths playing at full volume— his mind likes to wander to an extremely dangerous place.

And play an even more dangerous game:

Imagining,

daydreaming, even,

what it would feel like.

How it would feel to actually fall in love. Or, Merlin forbid, be loved.

To actually live every feeling he religiously listens to over and over again in those songs.

Because the embarrassing truth is: Mattheo secretly romanticizes love to an extreme, even though he tells himself he doesn't.

In his most vulnerable moments, he thinks about it more than he’d ever let himself admit.

And that’s where his terrifying second view of love lives: In the back of his mind, where he hides every thought that he doesn’t know how or is to scared to deal with.

For Mattheo, love, if existent, has to be like everything else he feels or does: exaggerated, extreme and all-consuming.

He sees love as something that has to be violent in its intensity.

Because to him, the only kind of love that could possibly be worth having is the one that knows all the most terrible parts of you, and stays.

It’s all or nothing.

Love, for Mattheo, is staying. No matter what.

It’s understanding. Unbreakable. Unconditional.

And it’s everything he never had but always deeply craved.

And when he is drunk and completely alone, probably after doing something stupidly impulsive and pushing everyone else away, in the deepest, most delusional corners of his mind, he imagines it: someone gripping him, screaming at him, refusing to leave.

Someone who sees the worst of him and doesn’t just love him despite it, but because of it.

And that comes from Mattheo’s most controversial and deeply buried desire —one that also happens to be his greatest fear: to be truly seen by someone else. To be understood.

Yes, it’s dramatic. It’s idealistic. It’s over-the-top and slightly toxic even.

But hey! It is what it is, okay?

In his mind, if love is not like that, it definitely can’t be worth it.

And to Mattheo, these thoughts of his are just as terrifying as they are completely stupid and delusional. But, unfortunately, just as undeniably desirable. Although, he would rather set himself on fire before even thinking about acknowledging that last part.

Because, is someone like him even allowed to desire something like that?

He doesn’t think so.

Honestly, how stupid is it to crave something you probably can’t have? that you don’t even think you deserve?

Can you really picture Mattheo Riddle, the guy with a temper shorter than Harry Potter, walking through Hogwarts holding hands? Or, for Merlin’s sake, whispering sweet nothings? Come on!

…As a matter of fact, yes I can, thank you very much.

And even if by some miracle or some sick cosmic joke, he actually did find someone this deranged to stay and love him,

even then,

would he even know how the fuck to be theirs?

This will be continued in “When a Riddle falls in love”. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

(it was supposed to be just one post but it became way too long😅)

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒔 ˙ᵕ˙:

➜ i do not own any of these characters.

➜ i do not own any of the medias used above, they were all saved from google or pinterest.

with the only exception of: the first gif in “romantic love part” and the png of Edgar Allan Poe’s quote. i created them myself. feel free to use it if you want ˙ᵕ˙

➜ all the characters i write about are portrayed as over 18. even if they’re sometimes mentioned as still being at hogwarts, i portray hogwarts as having more years since there’s no college in the wizarding world.

➜ links for the dividers i used (all credits for the creators):

divider 1 @saradika

divider 2 @enchanthings-a

divider 3 @saradika

divider 4 @enchanthings-a

divider 5 @leilakittya

➜ requested tag list: @lorenzozurzulosmissingrib @crazysweettooth-01

thank you so much for all the kind comments! ˙ᵕ˙

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

[elenasdelusions]

why am I longing for a guy that’s only been mentioned twice in the Harry Potter books 😭

[elenasdelusions]

i’ve been doing a harry potter marathon and i can affirm that my brain has been 100% corrupted with the slytherin boys fandom, and now i can’t help but imagine how different the story would have been with the slytherin boys in it.

i swear if university didn’t take so much of my time i’d write a full fanfic just by rewriting the entire harry potter saga but by the slytherin boys pov

i keep having so many ideas😭 maybe someday

(i say as if i didn’t already have about 20 unfinished drafts in my phone’s notes)

[elenasdelusions]

it was supposed to be just a silly drabble about how Mattheo Riddle perceives love but now it’s turning into a massive text that is starting to look like a whole psychological analysis… i just can’t help myself 🙃🫠

[elenasdelusions]

「 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐨 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 」

tw: none i believe, just mature language and maybe some for family trauma?

⊹˚₊‧──────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────‧₊˚⊹

Full name: Mattheo Thomas Riddle.

i like to imagine that voldemort’s name actually was Thomas Marvolo Riddle, and that’s where Mattheo’s middle name comes from.

Birthday: November 20, 1979.

i just can’t picture Mattheo as anything other than a scorpio. it just makes sense to me.

Blood Status: Half-Blood.

however, i do believe this is, likely, very unknown. as we see in canon, we have plenty of reasons to believe most of voldemort’s followers were unaware of his half-blood status.

Height: 1,87 meters / 6’2’’ ft.

he’s not scary tall, but tall enough to intimidate people. however, i do picture him as a late bloomer, who only started to grow around his 16/17 years old.

⊹˚₊‧──── 𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂 ───‧₊˚⊹

Mattheo Riddle is the boy who was born with his blood already contaminated by tragedy.

The younger son of Bellatrix and Voldemort, Mattheo was already born as the spare, in case something happened to his older brother, Tom Riddle.

One can probably imagine that the insane Bellatrix and the Dark Lord himself didn’t have kids because they dreamed on raising them in a big pretty house, with a white fence and lots of love and caring. Of course not. If anything, actually, the idea of fatherhood was repulsive to Voldemort.

However, pragmatism always outweighed his personal distaste.

Voldemort, despite all his arrogance, understood one thing very well: the immortality he so obsessively chased, was far from infallible.

Horcruxes could keep fragments of his soul tethered to the mortal world, true. But even those didn’t guarantee the survival of his body. They didn’t promise his physical presence here, among the living.

And if something ever managed to destroy his body, he wasn’t exactly fond of relying on the supposed “good will” of his Death Eaters to bring him back.

Voldemort’s reign was built on fear. And when you’re a man as feared as he was during the First Wizarding War, you can’t simply trust blind loyalty alone. Loyalty is fallible. Fear, however, is a far stronger leash.

So he needed something more. A “contingency plan”, one might call it. In reality, it was always about power.

The idea was to make his rule seem even more inevitable. And with heirs, two, I might add, he ensured the survival of his plans and his legacy, no matter what. It’s like a layered propaganda effect, making the world believe in an invincible cause.

Don’t get it wrong, it’s not that Voldemort ever planned on dying. On the contrary, even the slightest thought of leaving anyone —even if his own flesh and blood— to rule in his place was utterly unacceptable to him.

His desire for ‘heirs’ was nothing more than another form of pure manipulation. In case anything happened to his physical body, his followers would still have something, or rather, someone, to fear while he was being restored.

It was his ultimate insurance. If not loyalty, then fear would keep them in line. It would scare off traitors and keep the faithful ones desperate to bring him back, all without him lifting a finger.

Two sons. Two pawns. So if one failed, there was always the other.

And so, he sought to create a legacy not out of love, but out of strategy. A bloodline for respect. For Power.

And who could be better suited to birth his heirs than Bellatrix herself? Limitless devoted, powerful, from a famous and respected pureblood family. And most important of all: loyal without limits. She would never betray him, and she would never even question his will.

So it was done: In a cold December night of 1978, Tom Marvolo Riddle, the first born of Bellatrix and Voldemort, was born.

Not too much time later, almost a year, on November 1979, Bellatrix gave birth to 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞.

The youngest son.

⊹˚₊‧─── 𝓤𝓹𝓫𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓰 ───‧₊˚⊹

On October 31, 1981, Voldemort killed James and Lily Potter, and then died after he embarrassingly failed to kill baby Harry. Leaving Bellatrix alone with their two children.

it always gets me that he FAILED TO KILL A TODDLER because he tried to use THE KILLING CURSE to do it. 🥴 anyway……

It wasn’t long after, that she then married Rodolphus Lestrange. Like Bellatrix, Rodolphus was entirely devoted to Voldemort. One of his most loyal followers, one might say.

And conventionally enough, they were already promised to marry each other by their families when they were young. But with their deep involvement with Voldemort and the First Wizarding War, things were… Delayed.

But their marriage wasn’t about love.

if there was any type love involved at all, it was the obsession they both had with you-know-who.

It was the following of a plan. Almost an order. Rodolphus was previously chosen to help in the Dark Lord’s heirs’ upbringing, in case something happened, until his return.

As mother and stepfather of the Dark Lord’s heirs, their status among the Death Eaters was too elevated. That meaning, that “menil” tasks, such as torturing Frank and Alice Longbottom, were left with members at lower positions. Such as Barty Crouch Jr. and Rodolphus’ brother, Rabastan Lestrange. Which earned them both a one way ticket straight to Azkaban.

So Bellatrix Black, now Bellatrix Lestrange, along with her husband Rodolphus Lestrange, were left responsible for raising Tom and Mattheo. To make sure the boys are raised to worship their father and ready to fight when the time comes.

And growing up inside the Lestrange Manor, with his insane, unpredictable mother Bellatrix, and his perhaps even crazier stepfather, who saw Mattheo and Tom more as trophies than as kids, is definitely something that leaves marks in one’s self.

Although, to be completely fair, the first few years of their lives, the unhinged couple didn’t even have must investments on raising them at all.

The boys were passed from one trusted death eater to the other, who took turns on who would “have the absolute honor” of looking after the Dark Lord’s children for now.

Of course, with Bellatrix and Rodolphus supervising. And Merlin HELP if they ever committed a mistake.

It wasn’t until the boys got a bit older, that they started to get more directly involved in their raising.

To teach, not so precious, life lessons, like:

Emotions are weakness.

Power and Legacy are everything.

They should feel honored of having the Dark Lord’s blood running through their veins.

In the Lestrange Manor, love did not exist. There was no warmth of a family. Only the hunger of two fanatics, and two boys who weren’t seem as individuals, much less as children. Just extensions of a man they barely knew, and treated as such.

I’m gonna write more about Mattheo and Tom’s upbringing and childhood in another post ♡⸝

⊹˚₊‧──── 𝓗𝓸𝓰𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓼 ────‧₊˚⊹

When Mattheo turned 11 and got his Hogwarts letter, he was actually pretty excited.

At that point, Hogwarts meant two things for him:

An opportunity to finally be out of his house for most of the year.

A place his mother and stepfather constantly dismissed. So it probably couldn’t be all that bad.

Mattheo had spent the last few years listening to Bellatrix and Rodolphus constantly complain about how absurd it was that Dumbledore was Hogwarts’ headmaster, and how he was staining the school’s legacy with his progressive ideals and tolerance for mudbloods Muggle-borns. So honestly, if they hated something that much, it had to have some redeeming qualities. This belief got even stronger after his older brother, Tom came back from his first year at Hogwarts, complaining about how stupid everyone was there.

Raised to believe emotions and affection were weakness, Mattheo never fit inside his own house. While Tom, since a terrifying young age, thrived in mastering his own emotions, Mattheo was the opposite.

No matter how hard he tried, he always felt too much. He was too much. He couldn’t just “turn it all off” like Tom. He craved a warmth that he was never allowed to desire.

Mattheo is the one who, spent a big part of his childhood, wondering what was wrong with him, as he watched the way his aunt Narcissa and Lucius, treated his cousin Draco. Watching how the Malfoys (even if far from perfect) treated Draco with so much love.

Mattheo would quietly observe, when the Malfoys came over or the other way around, trying to understand why he wasn’t worthy of something like that.

Wondering why couldn’t have been lucky enough to be born Narcissa’s son, instead of her sadistic sister’s.

However, Mattheo had the time of his life, on the rare occasions Bellatrix and Rodolphus left him at the Malfoys’ house. While there, he liked to pretend, even if just for a little while, that he was a normal kid, part of a normal family, and let himself forget where he actually came from.

So when Mattheo finally started at Hogwarts, it was this weird mix of hope and fear that left him awake for a whole week before the classes started.

Hope that he might finally get, at least some, sense of the normalcy he’d always so desperately craved, and a chance to be away from his family.

But also fear. Fear that he’d get his hopes up only to watch them crash, that everything he hated about his household and the shadow of his last name, would follow him there.

the son of the Dark Lord you-know-who.

And unfortunately, his fears weren’t wrong.

He didn’t even need to get to Hogwarts. The moment he set his feet on Plataform 9 ¾, the rumors and gossip were already running wild.

And as if the universe wasn’t already pleased enough, Mattheo had to start at Hogwarts the same year as Harry Potter, aka, the boy his father not only tried to murderer, but also made an orphan.

You’d probably think, that having Tom starting at Hogwarts first, one year before Mattheo, earning quite a reputation in his first year, and having the “Chosen One” start the same year would take at least some of the inevitable spotlight off Mattheo.

But in reality, it was quite the opposite. With Tom already fueling expectations tied to their last name, and Harry, mr. “wizarding world hero” ,being there, people had everything they needed to craft the perfect ‘good vs evil’ narrative inside their heads.

And it didn’t matter how willing Mattheo was to make friends. Most people had already decided who he was before ever speaking to him.

Even though Mattheo had grown up constantly hearing all about his father’s ‘legacy,’ it wasn’t until he started at Hogwarts that he fully understood the weight his last name carried. The way people looked at him and whispered was enough to make reality slam into him like a double-decker bus.

And when Mattheo’s turn at the Sorting Ceremony came, it was like the whole Great Hall held its breath. Eyes carefully watching as Mattheo, in the deepest parts of his head, hoped he wouldn’t be sorted into Slytherin. Not because of the house itself, but because he was terrified of hated everything that could indicate that he was, in any way, even remotely similar to his family. especially to his father.

So when the Sorting Hat shouted, loud and clear, “SLYTHERIN”, Mattheo felt something twist painfully in his stomach.

At Hogwarts, the kids fell into three groups around him:

Those who avoided him at any cost, like Voldemort himself would come back from the dead to murder them and their families if they as much as said a “Good morning” to Mattheo.

The few ones, who tried to suck up to him because of who his father was, probably thanks to their own parents’ allegiances.

And the ones who outright bullied him.

Yes. Even though Mattheo was Voldemort’s son, he was still bullied. It ranged from nasty comments and shoves at the halls, to having his dorm vandalized and his things hidden.

So he ended up stuck between bullies, people who completely avoided him like he had dragon pox, or fake friends who only cared about his last name, which Mattheo despised more than anything. If he wanted to just be seen as an extension of his father, he could’ve stayed at home, thank you very much.

Eventually, Mattheo went from not being able to make friends, to not caring or making any effort at all.

Maybe, as much as it hurted Mattheo to admit, some of what he was taught as a kid was right: love and affection were conditional, not freely given. That people would only ever want him if he had something to offer, and to believe otherwise was weakness and delusional.

Maybe, that’s just how it’s supposed to be. He’d always been alone and survived so far. He doesn’t need anyone. (or at least he convinces himself of that)

But if that was really true, what then, could explain the gut punch Mattheo felt when he saw other kids walking around Hogwarts’ corridors, carelessly laughing, with their friends?

Truth is, Mattheo hated being lonely.

He carried this deeply buried longing (born from growing up in his cold, fucked-up family), to feel like he belongs somewhere. To be wanted, just because.

But finally eventually, Mattheo gathered some real friends.

As mentioned before, he already knew Draco, his cousin. And even though Mattheo had his own reservations about Draco’s little parade of followers and how much he liked to show off, being around him was easy. Draco wasn’t someone who tried to hide his true intentions and was, most of the time, straight up honest about who he was and what he wanted. And on top of that, Draco gave Mattheo that warmth of good childhood memories. Because at this point, practically all of Mattheo’s, already few, scattered good memories were with the Malfoys.

Eventually, Mattheo’s proximity with Draco led him to meet Theodore Nott. Theodore and Draco already knew each other before class started, because of Lucius relation with Theodore’s father, Nott sir. Theo and Draco weren’t especially close at first, but started sticking together naturally when they began Hogwarts the same year.

It didn’t take long for the group to grow with Blaise Zabini, who shared a dorm with Draco; Lorenzo Berkshire, who was also already acquaintances with Theodore before school started; And eventually, Pansy Parkinson, who started as Draco’s personal fan girl (and she will kill anyone who dares to mention this fact in the later years), but soon enough became basically one of the boys.

Together, they formed a close-knit friend group that meant more to each of them than any of them would ever let themselves admit.

But of all of them, Theodore Nott became Mattheo’s ride-or-die. They shared a special bond.

For Mattheo, Theo was a breath of fresh air. He couldn’t care less about who Mattheo’s father was.

Probably because Theo, more than anyone else, understood how shitty it was to have a monster as a father.

He was the first person to see Mattheo since the beginning as just Mattheo. Not a Riddle. Not someone’s son.

Theo became his best friend. Not that they went around the four corners of Hogwarts calling each other that. But they didn’t need to. Their bond went deeper. They understood each other in a way no one else could, because Mattheo Riddle and Theodore Nott share similar wounds, even if made by different people.

So if Mattheo didn’t have Tom,

who, if Mattheo ever tried to rely on, would probably only happily remind him of how weak he was for pitying himself,

he had Theo. To sympathize with his shitty situation. Because Theo is the closest Mattheo feels he ever had to a brother, even if they don't share a last name.

And just like that, all of a sudden, Hogwarts became Mattheo’s home. A place where he could be a different version of himself, surrounded by his people. Who saw the real him past his last name, and chose to stay anyway.

⊹˚₊‧─── 𝓟𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵𝓲𝓽𝔂 ───‧₊˚⊹

Mattheo Riddle is a man of extremes. He doesn’t just feel, but embodies every emotion in the most intense way as possible.

When he’s sad, it’s an all-consuming sorrow. When he’s angry, it’s a blind, reckless rage. His excitement is electric, almost ecstatic.

It’s like he’s constantly teetering on the edge of some feeling, rarely lingering in the delicate middle ground. He either feels everything, or absolutely nothing.

There are days when Mattheo is the most outgoing person in the room. He’ll mercilessly talk his friends’ ears off for hours about literally anything that crosses his mind.

And then, there are days when he’s this sullen, brooding figure. That stays quiet for hours, just staring off into space, lost in his own thoughts, that no one else could ever reach.

And that’s because Mattheo Riddle never learned how to deal with his emotions.

Growing up in a house where any sign of emotions or vulnerability was brutally punished, Mattheo was taught to suppress everything.

And even if he doesn’t truly believe in those lessons, the trauma and the voices of his sadistic mother and stepfather still haunt his mind.

And like anything that’s forced down past its limit, Mattheo eventually explodes in the only emotion he’s ever really knew how allowed himself to feel: anger.

He lashes out.

He’s volatile, unpredictable.

And if someone’s unlucky enough to even look at him— or worse, at one of his friends — the wrong way when he’s in this state, odds are they’ll end up in the Hospital Wing.

Mattheo earned quite the reputation at Hogwarts for getting into fights.

Because of course, the son of Bellatrix Lestrange and Voldemort couldn’t be anything but violent, right? At least that’s what he believes.

All of this started back when Mattheo was still in his early years at Hogwarts.

Shockingly, being the son of the man who tried to murder half the Wizarding World doesn’t do wonders for your reputation and social life. So Mattheo was constantly bullied when he first arrived.

At first, he ignored it. But as he got older, his anger grew with him.

He started remembering Rodolphus’ words echoing in his head

“fear is the only thing that makes people respect you.”

And maybe part of that was true.

So the fights began.

Mattheo quickly learned that, even with the endless varieties of hexes out there, none of them, gave the same sick satisfaction and relief that a good and traditional punch right into someone’s face did.

Eventually, these fights led Mattheo to become feared at Hogwarts. And fear led to respect.

And aside from some occasional idiots who still found the courage to throw a backhanded comment at him or his friends, the bullying stopped.

However, you can’t ever fully stop the gossips and whispers around the castle about the violent, psychotic tendencies of the younger Riddle sibling. 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳. ʲᵘˢᵗ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ʰⁱˢ ᶠᵃᵗʰᵉʳ. ⱼᵤₛₜ ₗᵢₖₑ ₕᵢₛ ᵳₐₜₕₑᵣ.

Everyone knew Mattheo had a short fuse, and snapped easily at any sign of disrespect towards him, or especially, towards his friends.

If there’s one thing guaranteed to set Mattheo off, it’s messing with the people he cares about. protector complex runs wild fr

Eventually, everyone just knew: crossing Mattheo Riddle was guaranteed trouble.

Mattheo is also THE MOST opinionated person in the world. He has strong opinions on nearly everything and is more than happy not afraid of sharing them, even if you never asked.

And that goes for people, too. When Mattheo likes someone, he’d burn the world down for them without thinking twice. He’d do anything for the few people he truly cares about.

But when he doesn’t? It borders on petty, even childish behavior. And if you ever land on Mattheo’s bad side, good luck changing his mind. He’s like an eternal stubborn child.

At parties, Mattheo is a constant duality:

Sometimes, he is the life of the party. Walking around with that confident careless grin like he owns the place, a cup of firewhisky or whatever alcoholic drink he finds in hand.

He’ll drink and drink and drink and smoke until the world around him is hazy and people’s faces are blurry.

He talks to anyone, participates in whatever party games his friends put him up to, and flirts shamelessly. He laughs like he doesn’t have a care in the world. And for a while, he almost convinces himself that’s true.

Because the truth is, most of the time, Mattheo doesn’t actually like being alone.

He acts like he does. Pulls up his walls, wraps himself up in this cool, “i don’t give a fuck” persona. But in reality, he’d usually rather have someone by his side.

Anyone, really. Most of the time it doesn’t even matter who they are or what they are saying. Because most days, he just needs them as background noise. To distract him from the storm inside his head.

So parties are perfect! Loud and bright, a perfect temporary distraction to drown out thoughts he doesn’t want to face.

So he keeps drinking,

and drinking

and drinking... And he feels great!

Until he doesn’t.

Suddenly, it’s too much.

The noise starts clawing at his skull, the lights spinning in a sickening way, and reality begins to hit back at him at full force.

That’s when Mattheo disappears.

Slips away. One second he’s there, the center of party, the next he’s gone.

You’ll find him in some empty corridor of the castle, headphones on, eyes staring at nowhere, drunk. Hiding. On his own existential crisis.

On his loneliest nights, when that unbearable feeling of emptiness persists inside of him, he’ll let himself be pulled into the arms of some random girl chasing the thrill of a night with the “infamous Hogwarts bad boy”.

He’ll fuck to forget. Chasing to feel anything other than the void inside of him.

Not understanding that the type of connection and company he actually craves, is not sexual. And can’t be satisfied with meaningless drunk hookups.

Then it’s back to being alone again, because none of it ever lasts. (not that he actually wants to.)

So at the end of the night, when he’s all alone, in a bathroom, head bowed over the toilet, hands shaking and throwing up, that’s the only time he allows himself to truly acknowledge how fucked up everything is. That’s the only time he allows himself to fully feel.

But he doesn’t allow anyone to see him at this state. No, not even his friends. Because in this moment, it’s when he’s the most vulnerable.

And Mattheo Riddle hates showing any kind of vulnerability.

Because vulnerability was never safe for him.

In his house, it was something to be punished. A single show of weakness earned him disappointed, disgusted looks from Rodolphus and Bellatrix, and a painful lesson to drive the point home.

So Mattheo learned to keep it all in.

He struggles a lot to open up to someone.

Even to his closest friends.

He never asks for help

Because a fucked up part of him, believes he deserves the pain, the loneliness.

After all, that’s what he grew up with. On the contrary of affection and care, solitude and suffering are familiar. It feels safe, in a twisted way.

The only person he sometimes, allows to see himself in this situation,

because most of the times he won’t even give Mattheo a choice,

is Theodore.

And, on some even rarer occasions, Draco.

It’s not that he doesn’t trust the others. But Mattheo is a creature of habit. And what he is used to, is to push everyone away.

But Theo is Theo, and he is used to Draco (who surprisingly or not, can be extremely responsible when necessary).

Interesting enough, being the only one born in 1979, Mattheo is the oldest one in the group. But he is like the baby of the group. The one they watch out for, the one they worry about even when he sneers that he doesn’t need it.

And when he does accept their help, it’s only to feel extremely guilty afterwards. Convinced he is poisoning them with his darkness, dragging them down into the mess he’s made of himself.

And all this for nothing, because he considers himself not worth the effort, since him, the son of Bellatrix with the Dark Lord himself, is beyond fixing. at least that’s what he believes.

But not just in sorrows does Mattheo Riddle live! (thank God)

On top of all of that, Mattheo is actually a really great friend.

And even if he won’t ever admit it out loud, he is extremely attached to his friends.

And as ironic as it might sound for someone who struggles so much to deal with his own emotions, Mattheo is surprisingly sensitive to others around him. He’s usually the first to notice when something’s off with someone.

A shift in the way they speak, a change in their smile.

Patterns that pass unperceived by most people, catch his eye instantly.

That doesn’t mean he exactly knows what to do when he notices these things, but you can be sure he’ll stick by their side the whole day, hovering in his own awkward way, just to make sure they aren’t alone.

Because deep down, that’s what he wishes someone would do for him.

And Merlin, does he talk. Once he’s comfortable around you, good luck getting a moment of silence.

And even if this is often overshadowed by the fact that his older brother Tom, is known to probably be the “smartest wizard at Hogwarts” and as smarter brother, Mattheo is actually really smart.

Not in the “straight A’s”, “Head Boy” sense. He honestly doesn’t give a single shit about grades. He will, as a matter of fact, shamelessly skip any class he finds boring.

Like History of Magic, for example. Which makes him want to Avada Kedavra himself on the spot. The very thought of sitting still for an hour straight listening to that old professor’s voice endless droning makes him seriously consider setting himself on fire every morning he has this class.

But get him talking under the stars at 2am, cigarette between his fingers, and you’ll see how smart he really is. He can talk about literally any subject.

He loves long, deep conversations that last until the sun starts to rise.

And although Mattheo Riddle is not even a little emotionally mature (quite the opposite actually), he still is a very deeply thoughtful person.

He’s also ridiculously funny.

But if you ever tell him that, you will see him become so ridiculously smug, you’ll want to punch him.

He has the ability to make a joke out of absolutely anything, especially of his own shitty situations.

He is the king of sarcasm, and it’s basically his second language at this point. Teasing is practically his love language.

If Mattheo is affectionately tormenting you like a child to the point you want to hex him, well, congratulations! You’ve officially made it into his tight circle.

But that version of him is reserved only to his people. It’s not that he’s an asshole to everyone else. No. But he just likes to keep it to his tight group. With everyone else, he keeps his walls high, his demeanor cold. More of loner, to be honest. Partly to maintain the fearsome reputation he carefully constructed over the years, partly because that’s just how he is.

After all, a fake scary reputation is all a man has…

And oh, does he care about that reputation. He’ll scoff and say he doesn’t, but that’s only half true.

Sure, he doesn’t give a single fuck about what most people think of his actions or choices.

But the idea of anyone even glimpsing what’s beneath his scary ‘bad boy’ act?

That terrifies him. He’d die before letting the outside world know that beneath those intimidating stare,

the stare he spent WEEKS perfecting, trying to turn his soft brown Bambi eyes into this death stare.

hides a boy who would die for the ones he cares about. That the all scary and intimidating Mattheo Riddle, actually has the biggest of hearts.

It’s not that he always wanted it to be like that. Deep down, Mattheo hates that people have this impression of him. He hates to feel so misunderstood, and he hates even more that he knows that he sometimes gives reasons for people to believe that he is, in fact, at least a bit, just like his father.

But really, his whole scary guy act is just that: an armor. A carefully constructed safety measure so people don’t dare to mess with him.

An armor he has worn so well, for so long, that sometimes even he can’t tell if it’s still just an armor anymore or if this is who he truly is, after all.

But every armor has its cracks.

And for Mattheo, it’s his eyes.

And if you look at him when he’s comfortable, or too distracted to remember to pull up his mask, you’ll start to understand why he spent so much time practicing how to make his stare intimidating.

That’s because of how heartbreakingly expressive his eyes are. And if you pay enough attention, not even his rehearsed death stare, will have you fooled anymore.

So when it’s late at night, just you and Mattheo sitting by the edge of the astronomy tower, talking about life and everything else, and he is looking at you like this:

you’ll start to wonder if there ever was any real evil in him at all.

⊹˚₊‧──── 𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓼 ────‧₊˚⊹

Hobbies:

Mattheo isn’t exactly the type to have many lasting hobbies. Sure, he gets intensely interested in one thing or another from time to time, but he generally lacks the patience and focus to stick with anything for more than a month, tops.

Still, there are a couple of things that managed to stick:

Sketching:

He doesn’t even recognize it as a hobby really. But Mattheo always carries around this little sketchbook that is filled with random music lyrics that for some reason he identifies with, messy stuff he writes down when the noise inside his head gets too loud, and, of course, countless sketches and drawings.

And no, it’s not a diary, okay?!! He swears!

It’s something he’s been doing since he was a kid.

He draws to pass the time, to distract himself from his thoughts, or simply because something catches his eye. He doesn’t even realize how talented he actually is. And good luck trying to convince him to let you take a look. It’s not happening!

Collecting:

Mattheo isn’t one of those dedicated collectors. But he does have a soft spot for cassettes and vinyl records.

And he doesn’t care that it’s already the late 90s, he’s NOT switching to CDs!

He has his own Walkman that he likes to carry everywhere, along with a growing collection of cassettes.

Vinyls are a close second love, and one of his favorite things is browsing that old second-hand shop in Hogsmeade, hunting for albums that catch his interest.

Honorable mention to card games. It’s not exactly a hobby, but Mattheo really likes them!

Music Taste:

Mattheo likes music that makes him feel something.

Whether if it is a depressing lyrics or a good beat, he likes to feel it in his soul.

And he takes music very seriously.

He thinks his music taste is better than everyone else’s and will spend hours explaining why if you give him the opportunity.

He’ll shamelessly judge you based on what you listen.

Some of his favorites are:

• The Smiths (his absolute favorite)

• Radiohead

• Depeche Mode

• Billy Idol

• Nirvana

• The Cure

• Pearl Jam

He also enjoys some louder music, especially when he’s feeling angry. Some bands enjoys are:

• AC/DC

• Metallica

…and the list goes on.

and if we are not being decade appropriate, i think he would also be really into Arctic Monkeys.

Movies

Aside to muggle music, that had already became more common even among purely wizard families, especially with younger wizards, Mattheo also picked up a taste for other more underrated parts of the muggle culture. Books, comics, movies…

What Mattheo likes the most about these things is the fact they come from a completely different world, one where no one even knows about the weight of his last name. It’s a place where the weight of his linage doesn’t even exist.

Mattheo is, at his core, a manchild. So his favorite movie genres tend to be fiction and action. Some of his go-tos are:

• Back to the Future

• Star Wars

• 007

• Fight Club

• Breakfast Club

• Jurassic Park

• Ferris Buller’s day off (it’s a classic, don’t argue with him on this one).

He also has a taste for horror movies, like:

• The Shining

• The Exorcist

• Friday the 13th

• Halloween

And, though it’s not a movie, his favorite guilty pleasure is a muggle show Pansy made them all watch during a sleepover: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And Mattheo got completely hooked.

(Buffy is just really badass, okay??? Back off.)

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒔 ˙ᵕ˙:

➜ i do not own any of these characters.

➜ i do not own any of the medias used above, they were all saved from google or pinterest.

with the only exception of the lyrics gif and the picture that has blaise, pansy, theo and mattheo. i edited both of them myself. feel free to used them if you want. credit would be appreciated for the picture one because it was quite some work😅

➜ links for the dividers i used (all credits for the creators):

divider 1 @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

divider 2 @popmilky

divider 3 @uzmacchiato

divider 4 @popmilky

divider 5 @saradika-graphics

the hogwarts divider was just an image on pinterest that i removed the background. feel free to use it if you want ˙ᵕ˙

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

[elenasdelusions]

finally almost finishing my mattheo riddle portrayal rn and i’m worried it’s getting too long……..🥴 idk if i should divide it

[elenasdelusions]

➵ Welcome to my delusions •ᴗ•

'*•.¸♡'𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆 ♡¸.•*'

★ hi! my name is elena. i'm in my early 20's. i created this blog to share some of my writings! currently, i only write for harry potter, more specifically: the slytherin boys + pansy and harry. in the future, i also plan on writing for regulus black, sebastian sallow and ominis gaunt, but i probably won't for now.

★ my plan is to create a solid backstory for the characters i write about, since some lack a strong one or don’t have an official backstory (like fanmade characters mattheo riddle and lorenzo berkshire) and then base everything I write on that!

★ not sure if i'll write actual stories/fics. i’ll probably stick to posting headcanons, drabbles, small scenarios or any silly things that come to my mind! but who knows?

★ my requests are always open! feel free to send any ideas you’d like me to write about! i'd also love to hear your opinions on how you see/imagine the characters! i love reading and discussing different perspectives of them! (it might take me a while to reply but i'll do my best!) ♡

★ i'm brazilian so english is not my first language, so forgive me for any grammar mistakes. feel free to point them out, just be nice about it ♡ (para meus leitores que falam português: provavelmente não irei escrever nada em português, mas sintam-se livres para enviar mensagens em português quando quiserem! ˙ᵕ˙)

★ all the characters i write about are portrayed as over 18. even if they’re sometimes mentioned as still being at hogwarts. (i portray hogwarts as having more years since there’s no college in the wizarding world.)

★ minors, feel free to interact, unless if it's a post with nsfw/sexual content!

₍^. .^₎⟆𝒎𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒔 ♡:

★ ──── ❝ ᴍᴀᴛᴛʜᴇᴏ ᴛʜᴏᴍᴀs ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ❞ ──── ★

⋆ my portrayal of mattheo riddle: how i imagine mattheo's backstory and personality.

⋆ mattheo riddle & love: how mattheo deals with different types of love.

⋆ when a riddle falls in love: how i picture mattheo’s journey in falling in love. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ mattheo riddle as your boyfriend: how i imagine mattheo is in a relationship. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ mattheo riddle's traumas and issues: some general headcanons. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ mattheo riddle's childhood & family life: how i picture mattheo's upbringing inside the lestrange manor. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

★ ──── ❝ ᴛʜᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴇ ᴛɪʙᴇʀɪᴜs ɴᴏᴛᴛ ❞ ──── ★

⋆ my portrayal of theodore nott: how i imagine theodore's backstory and personality aligning with what we already know in canon. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ theodore nott & love: my take on how theodore nott deals with love. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ it’s just a cigarette, and it cannot be that bad…: little nott got a smoke addiction. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ theodore nott's childhood: how imagine theodore's childhood was before and after his mother's death. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ theodore nott as your boyfriend: how i imagine theo is in a relationship. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

★ ─── ❝ ʟᴏʀᴇɴᴢᴏ ᴄʜᴀʀʟᴇs ʙᴇʀᴋsʜɪʀᴇ ❞ ─── ★

⋆ my portrayal of lorenzo berkshire: how i imagine lorenzo's backstory and personality. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ lorenzo berkshire as your boyfriend: how i imagine lorenzo is in a relationship. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

★ ──── ❝ ᴅʀᴀᴄᴏ ʟᴜᴄɪᴜs ᴍᴀʟғᴏʏ ❞ ──── ★

⋆ my portrayal of draco malfoy: how i imagine draco's backstory and personality aligning with what we already know in canon. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ inside the malfoy manor: how i imagine draco's relationship with his parents ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ draco malfoy as your boyfriend: how i imagine draco is in a relationship. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

★ ──── ❝ ʙʟᴀɪsᴇ ᴀɴᴛʜᴏɴʏ ᴢᴀʙɪɴɪ ❞ ──── ★

⋆ my portrayal of blaise zabini: how i imagine blaise's backstory and personality aligning with what we already know in canon. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ the seven husbands of ms. zabini: how i imagine it was blaise's life with all his mother's husbands. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ blaise zabini as your boyfriend: how i imagine blaise is in a relationship. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

★ ──── ❝ ᴛᴏᴍ ᴍᴀʀᴠᴏʟᴏ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ❞ ──── ★

⋆ my portrayal of tom riddle: how i imagine tom's backstory and personality. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ tom riddle's childhood & family life: how i picture tom's upbringing inside the lestrange manor. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ tom riddle's traumas and issues: some general headcanons. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ tom riddle as your boyfriend: how i imagine tom is in a relationship. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

★ ─── ❝ ᴘᴀɴsʏ ғʀᴀɴᴄɪɴᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴋɪɴsᴏɴ ❞ ─── ★

⋆ my portrayal of pansy parkinson: how i imagine pansy's backstory and personality aligning with what we already know in canon. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ one of the boys: my portrayal on pansy's relationships at hogwarts. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ pansy parkinson as your girlfriend: how i imagine pansy is in a relationship. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

★ ──── ❝ ʜᴀʀʀʏ ᴊᴀᴍᴇs ᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇʀ ❞ ──── ★

⋆ harry potter & love: how harry deals with love. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ harry's traumas and issues: some general headcanons of how i imagine harry's traumas. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ���

⋆ harry potter as your boyfriend: how i imagine harry is in a relationship. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

★ ─── ❝ ᴛʜᴇ sʟʏᴛʜᴇʀɪɴ ʙᴏʏs + ᴘᴀɴsʏ ❞ ─── ★

posts featuring all of them

⋆ their taste for partners ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ why the slytherin gang stuck together: a little drabble about why i think they became so close friends ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ riddle & nott: some thoughts about mattheo and theo’s friendship. ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ mattheo & harry parallels ⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔... ⋙

⋆ random thoughts on mattheo and theo’s coping

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿

𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒔 ˙ᵕ˙:

➜ i do not own any of these characters.

➜ i do not own any of the medias used above, they were all saved from google or pinterest.

➜ links for the dividers i used (all credits for the creators):

first divider @animatedglittergraphics-n-more second divider third divider

‿︵‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿︵‿