emetherapy

[emetherapy]

i get nervous barfing in front of people still I freak out yet I get warm seeing it on tape and hearing it. I did big brothers/sisters and wanted a big brother so I got one even though I am queer fem. I was just 5 so it was letters but when he got a job close to my state like 1h30 minutes away I got to see him every Friday I was beat up to being abused on the playground my brother was amazing we did cool but education stuff and like the 4 time it was a long car ride and at a red light he looked at me and pulled in to a parking lot opened my door was telling me not to cry he was holding me so I wouldn’t fall out and he said dad always says better out then keeping it in. He gently pushed my stomach and I got sick he was rubbing my back just comforting me till I felt better. He was the only person that never made me feel nervous cause it happened a good amount of times once he made himself sick so I felt comfortable I miss him so much because he passed 10 years ago. Funny thing I found out he was my cousin today

Apologies for not responding, I was busy during the holidays. That's one thing I didn't even consider, but yes, getting sick near people makes me feel even worse. Since I get a little panicky, well, having someone else put up with that is worse than someone drunk lol

Although a little bit hard to follow, I do apologize for having dealt with the situations you went through and for your loss, even if it's a decade ago. It is good, though, to have someone you can trust in such moments of vulnerability.

Hope things have gotten better for you :)

[emetherapy]

Introduction.

So… I guess we start with a little introductory post.

Who I am is not terribly important. What's important in this context is that I am someone who deals with quite a few phobias. Emetophobia is the worst offender that I currently still deal with. Heights, Spiders, to name a few, are additionals, but those aren't pertinent to this post and the purpose of this particular profile. I'm sure the name says plenty.

Why am I here? Well, frankly, the original reason was to ask @fav-emeto a question, since her YT-Channel got nulled recently, along with almost all her content. But I figured I may as well try to make some use of this, posting my own vomit stories and perhaps making some observation posts, for example. Still not sure on that second part, but I will consider it for when I have too much spare time.

I would class it as a high severity phobia, since any time I ended up sick, nauseous, or even vomiting when I was younger, it would be bad enough that my mind would just go blank and I'd look like a statue. Other, rarer cases, I'd be very panicky and shaky, which wouldn't help matters. Granted, it hasn't happened much in my life (latest occurence is like, what, back in 2012?) but I would in no means like to endure it at all, no matter the reason. Yes, it's a natural response when something doesn't go well with the eaten food, something else sneaks in, or some other illness can trigger it, but it inflicts pure terror on me whenever it happens to me, and still triggers a serious sense of disgust and flight when anyone near me ends up sick. Something that I knew back then that I had to try and fight or treat in some way. Much like my arachnophobia, attempts at treating it only made it mildly more… tolerable, I guess.

Some time ago, I decided to try watching vomiting videos. How original, I know, but I figured I'd try to see if it helps me cope better with it eventually, as other methods back then have failed. As expected, it still makes me wince and shiver, but it has gotten better over time, so there is some therapeutic effect to it all. I did stumble into the other side of the spectrum as well: whereas I'm terrified of vomiting and would do anything to avoid it, there are some who indulge it as they derive pleasure from it. I can't say the same, but the end result is the same. While there are many who use their fingers or other tools and force it, there are some who instead let it happen naturally, and those are, for me, much more relatable, as those experiences are the ones that I had. It's why some types are more therapeutic for me than others. Again, @fav-emeto and a few, now defunct sources, are the ones with the strongest effect on me personally, mostly to do with the POV shots. After all, what do we see when it happens to us?

I think that's enough for an intro, so I'll post additional(s) some other time. If you read all this, good job, you have decent attention span and/or interest lol